1 00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:11,094 One, two, three... [grunting] 2 00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:12,345 How you doing in there, man? 3 00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:13,555 It won't come out, Maury. 4 00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:15,432 I can't do it. I can't shit! 5 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:16,683 How is that possible? 6 00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,601 When was the last time you took a dump? 7 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,812 -Let's see, I didn't poop yesterday... -Okay. 8 00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:24,524 And I couldn't go when Nick walked in on me, carry the one, so four weeks ago? 9 00:00:24,607 --> 00:00:25,817 Jesus, Andrew! 10 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,777 You haven't shit the entire summer? 11 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,612 I think you missed your shit window. 12 00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,281 Shit window? What's a shit window? 13 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,491 When you sucked your groundhog back into your butthole, 14 00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:36,202 you made it think there were six more weeks of sphincter. 15 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,370 And this is locked science? 16 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,456 This is flat-Earth science, Andy. 17 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:42,208 Oh, God, Maury, you gotta take a look at what's going on back there. 18 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:44,836 Oh, Andrew, I don't think it's appropriate 19 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:48,882 for me to be this psyched to look at your asshole, baby! 20 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:49,799 -Oh. -What? 21 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:50,717 -Oh my. -What is it? 22 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,844 -Oh me, oh my. -Give it to me straight, I can take it! 23 00:00:52,927 --> 00:00:55,847 -You should see this for yourself, Andrew. -Bring me the mirror! 24 00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:58,975 Hey! Why don't you take  a fucking picture, numbnuts! 25 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,351 It'll last longer! 26 00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,270 [screams, grunts] 27 00:01:02,353 --> 00:01:04,355 ["Changes" by Charles Bradley playing] 28 00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:10,195 ♪ I'm going through changes ♪ 29 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:19,871 ♪ I'm going through changes ♪ 30 00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:22,707 ♪ Oh, in my life ♪ 31 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:27,253 ♪ Oh, ooh, ooh! ♪ 32 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:40,183 Okay, 15 minutes until the last night of camp bonfire. 33 00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:41,518 Attendance required. 34 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:42,852 Make-outs encouraged. 35 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:46,064 Because if you can't hook up on the last night of camp, 36 00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:47,857 when can you hook up? 37 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,192 Vacation? Please! 38 00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:50,443 Your parents are there! 39 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:53,571 They don't want to see you snogging a 45-year-old Greek woman. 40 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:56,491 They're not ready to accept you as a sexual being. 41 00:01:56,574 --> 00:01:58,451 #Zoratheexplora! 42 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:01,579 Nick, why you doing homework right now like some nerd? 43 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,790 This is your last chance to get some tan ass. 44 00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,625 I'm writing jokes for the talent show tonight. 45 00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:09,254 You can't perform at the bonfire. Everyone hates you now, Soup. 46 00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:10,588 -Ugh! -They wanna see you fail. 47 00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,257 You're basically Ben Affleck. 48 00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:14,926 No, no, no, no.  Some people still like Nick. 49 00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:18,179 He's Matt Damon! Keep on writing, Matt! 50 00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,557 Ugh! What is it about  the last night of camp 51 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,267 that gets everyone so horned up? 52 00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:24,310 I know, right? I just checked out Milk's ass. 53 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:27,188 If you look at it by itself, it's actually kinda good. 54 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,566 -[both laugh] -Hey, Natalie! Hi. 55 00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:32,527 Did you hear, uh, about the dead bird in the woods? 56 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,654 It's-- I mean,  it's been swelling up all summer, 57 00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:36,447 and I actually think it's gonna pop tonight. 58 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:37,866 Wow. Very cool. 59 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,033 Yeah. Super cool. 60 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,953 Remember where I hocked that red loogie last year? 61 00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:43,705 It's-- it's kinda near there. 62 00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:46,082 Yeah, we remember. You keep bringing it up. 63 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:49,127 Just like I brought up that red loog! [laughs] 64 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:52,589 Anyway, you wanna go see the bird, maybe? 65 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:53,756 Eh, maybe later. 66 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,467 I kinda wanted to throw a battery in the bonfire to see what happens. 67 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:59,137 Oh, yeah. That's-- Yeah. I want-- Tell me, let me know. 68 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:01,181 Oh, my God. He's so into you. 69 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,725 What? Shut up! Wait, why? What makes you think that? 70 00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:06,519 Look at him. That's his sad attempt at flirting. 71 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,646 Hey, ladies-- [grunts] 72 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,815 Fuck! Did it! That's what I wanted! 73 00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,067 -You should go see the bird with him. -[grunting] 74 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,819 Really? I don't know. 75 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:17,989 Yes! Come on! You obviously like him. Go. 76 00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:22,285 Yeah, but this would be my first time, like, kissing a boy. 77 00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:24,662 And it just feels scary. 78 00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:27,957 But it's the last night. If it doesn't work out, who cares? 79 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,876 I mean, I'm gonna finger Milk. 80 00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:32,128 As God as my witness, I'm gonna wear him like a Ring Pop. 81 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,214 -[chuckles] -My dad's friend Bob Reedy 82 00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:37,008 has a statue of a finger in his nightstand. 83 00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:38,509 [both] Shut the fuck up, Milk! 84 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:42,597 Burgers and coffee? You sure that's the move, captain? 85 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,600 I figured this would be the best way to get things moving down there. 86 00:03:45,683 --> 00:03:47,352 [poop] Oh, yeah, keep eating, man! 87 00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,687 Put little burger shoes on my gross shit feet! 88 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,357 Andrew, I think he's getting bigger. 89 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,151 [poop] And I'm getting wider, you fucks! 90 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,112 I'm a big, brown baseball with eyes! 91 00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:01,074 -[farts, belches] -Eww! Did you just "furp"? 92 00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:04,118 -Furp? What's a furp? -It's a fart burp, you fucking idiot. 93 00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:06,788 [sniffs] Ugh, what is that awful stench? 94 00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:10,124 It smells like when my dad's friend Bob Reedy invited me 95 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,710 to change his sepsis gauze, and I obliged. 96 00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,504 Who was that? Ugh! 97 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:17,340 It was probably Soup. Yeah, he farted. 98 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,384 It sounded wet, like Soup! 99 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,219 What? No, it wasn't me! 100 00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:25,056 I mean, I've heard of a can of soup, but this Soup needs to go to the can. 101 00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:27,308 -[laughing] -[boy] Good one, dude! 102 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,310 -You write that? -I had variations on it, 103 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,812 but it's never come out like that. 104 00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:34,857 Wow, I know Nick's a tiny little loser, and he stinks like trash, 105 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,067 but I feel bad for the kid. 106 00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:38,403 That's where you and I differ, Maury. Bad things... 107 00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:42,156 -[stomach rumbling] -[groans] ...happen to bad people. 108 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,201 Nick is getting what he deserves. 109 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,245 -It's called kar-- [groans] -[rumbling continues] 110 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:48,997 It's called-- It's called-- [groans] 111 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:49,998 It's called karma. 112 00:04:50,581 --> 00:04:52,125 [Jay] May I tongue you, my queen? 113 00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,711 Permission granted, my king. 114 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,796 [moaning] 115 00:04:57,505 --> 00:05:01,175 [dog barks] Happening! Happening! 116 00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:03,428 Let's see what's actually happening. 117 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,097 [moaning continues] 118 00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:09,058 Uh-oh, Your Majesty. 119 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:12,103 There's, like, so much dirt under my fingernails 120 00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:14,147 from all that digging. 121 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:18,693 Well, allow me to suck the muck out, Your Fuckin' Grace. 122 00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:21,321 -[Lola laughs] Mm! -[slurps] Mm! 123 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,531 I love how rough your fingers are. 124 00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:26,951 Well, I love what a jacked walnut you are from digging all summer. 125 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,619 You did most of the work, babe. 126 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,413 And with your feet too. 127 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:31,873 Those strong little hooves. 128 00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:36,753 They're like that one genre of Tostitos 'cause they're good for scooping. 129 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:37,837 Yeah, that's right, 130 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,214 -I'm perfect for the Super Bowl! -Oh, yeah. 131 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:43,551 I was just telling the guys the other day, your feet never get soggy. 132 00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:46,888 Anyway, we did do an amazing job, though, didn't we? 133 00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:49,474 I feel bad for everyone else, honestly. 134 00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:50,808 What do you think, Skumpy? 135 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,894 Should we keep this paradise to ourselves? 136 00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:54,520 No way, Jo-say! 137 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:57,440 We should totally have a bomb-ass pool warming party 138 00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:00,234 so everyone can choke on their fucking jealousy. 139 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,819 That's genius. 140 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:05,823 Uh-oh, methinks me sees some dirt under your toes, 141 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,618 or as I like to call them, 142 00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:10,078 the Queen's Nuggies. 143 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:14,123 -[laughs] Oh, that fucking tickles. -[slurps] 144 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,458 [Harry] Thank you, Rebecca. 145 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:19,420 You really kept most of those plates spinning a lot of the time. 146 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:23,925 And now, hoping to turn around his truly dreadful summer, 147 00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:26,552 a boy named Soup! 148 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,514 Aww. Even the counselors are calling me "Soup"? 149 00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:31,891 Oh, God, Nick. You're gonna bomb! 150 00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:35,770 This is a suicide mission. You'll be a suicide bomber! 151 00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:38,981 Um, you know, what's-- what's the deal with camp? 152 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:42,360 It's-- it's like school, but we're all fucking sleeping here? 153 00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:44,153 -[laughs] Ugh. -[explosion] 154 00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:46,114 -[buzzes] -Don't listen to Tito! 155 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,615 -You are so funny. -Really? 156 00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:49,909 Big-ass mouth, stupid fucking forehead. 157 00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:52,370 Look at that thing. Goddamn shoebox. 158 00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:54,080 -What? -I just look at you, and I laugh. 159 00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:55,248 You're right. You're right. 160 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:57,667 Charming people is, like, the one thing I'm actually good at. 161 00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:58,793 I-- I got this. 162 00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:01,629 -Make eye contact. Strut! -[gasps] 163 00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:03,756 -Connect with the ladies! -Okay, okay. 164 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:06,717 -[feedback whines] -Ahem. Hey, fellow campers! 165 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:10,513 What a summer, huh? Yikes! No me gusta. [chuckles] 166 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:11,514 [coughs] 167 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:13,182 The only thing worse, honestly, 168 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:16,102 is getting stuck in a canoe with Berman, am I right? 169 00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:18,771 -[audience gasps] -Fucking kid's been crying all summer! 170 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,941 -[booing] -Berman's brother died last month! 171 00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:23,776 Oh. Oh, my God. 172 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,862 I am... so sorry, Berman. 173 00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,321 I really didn't know that. 174 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:29,699 I-- I just...  Well, let's see what else I got. 175 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:31,826 What do I got? Uh, that's not good. 176 00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:35,288 [gasps] Oh, no! What if you can't think of anything to say? 177 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:37,039 You have no point of view. 178 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,208 It's so hot, uh... 179 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,626 How hot is it, me? 180 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,170 [chuckles] It's so hot, 181 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:46,048 I think I saw a deer sucking  on an ice cube the other day. 182 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,550 -No, you didn't! -[jeering] 183 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:50,136 Fuck you, Soup! Take a fucking shower and die! 184 00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:51,971 -Okay, good times. -You suck! 185 00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:55,099 Easy, Andrew, Nick's already bombing. You're fucking a dead horse. 186 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,393 Sure, it feels great, but it's not right. 187 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,395 [poop] No, that guy's an asshole! 188 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,938 He fucked your wife Missy! 189 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,566 Well, sort of. Yeah, that's the essence of what occurred! 190 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,651 Hey, Soup, you wanna be funny? 191 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:08,404 -Show us your tiny prick! -[audience laughs] 192 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,032 Jesus, Andrew. What is your problem? 193 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,867 Read the tea leaves, honey. 194 00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:16,078 -That bowl of soup fucked my wife! -I think I'm gonna switch seats. 195 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:19,123 Let your guard down, Nicky. Be vulnerable! 196 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,208 People like that. 197 00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:22,835 Hey, guys, maybe comedy's not what you're looking for tonight. 198 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,837 Maybe I try something a little bit different. 199 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,256 [singing off-key] ♪ Hey, Mister Man ♪ 200 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,258 ♪ What about me? ♪ 201 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:35,681 ♪ Am I a bowl of soup or a human being? ♪ 202 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,559 ♪ 'Cause when I look in the mirror ♪ 203 00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:41,771 ♪ I'll tell you what I see ♪ 204 00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:43,105 He sees soup! 205 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,900 'Cause he's a big fat bowl of fucking soup, the idiot! 206 00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:47,276 -[booing] -[laughing] 207 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,195 -That's a good joke! -Stinky-ass bitch! 208 00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:51,030 Why are you all so mean? 209 00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:53,824 And why is Berman still here if his brother's dead? 210 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,035 -He should be at home with his family! -[gasping] 211 00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,788 My mom said Eli would've wanted me to finish out the summer. 212 00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,873 -[jeering] -Get off the stage, Soup! 213 00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:03,626 Run, sugar! Run into the woods! 214 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,628 -[Nick sobbing]  -Oh, Nick. 215 00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,171 That felt right, yeah? 216 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,756 I-- I feel good about that? 217 00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:11,634 Yeah, you really finished in the horse, Andrew. 218 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,803 Well, he deserved it-- [screams] 219 00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,555 -My stomach! -Jesus, you all right, chief? 220 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:16,556 Shh! Look. 221 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,141 Hi. Did you just make  your best friend cry? 222 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:22,103 That was so hot and rude. [chuckles] 223 00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:23,145 I'm beyond soaked. 224 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,230 Soaked, you say? 225 00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:27,275 Well, sounds like you need a big, dry pair of underwear 226 00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:30,319 -and a qualified lover to put them on. -Andrew, who are you talking to? 227 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,239 Why, this hot little redhead ginger over here. 228 00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:35,491 Oh, no, that's not a girl. That's the campfire! 229 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,909 Ow! Fuck! Hot! 230 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,327 Maury, what's happening to me? 231 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,580 Well, you're hallucinating. You have cramps. 232 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,373 It's been a month since you... [gasps] 233 00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:43,332 Wait a second. 234 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,417 Step into my office. 235 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,002 -Okay, fart. -[farts] 236 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,503 -Fart again. -[farts] 237 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,714 -Okay, big, wet fart. -[farting] 238 00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:51,966 Oh, no. It's just as I feared. 239 00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:53,926 What is it? You can tell me. Is it AIDS? 240 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:56,637 Oh, Andrew, you're suffering from... 241 00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:58,431 Poop madness! 242 00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:01,559 [screams] Poop madness! What the hell is that? 243 00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:05,271 When the body goes too long without expunging a brownskie, 244 00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:07,773 -it goes into a state of shitosis... -Uh-huh. Yeah. 245 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,942 ...eventually causing cerebral skidmarks, 246 00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:13,029 or in layman's terms, shit-for-brains. 247 00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,530 Doctor, that does not sound good. 248 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,241 Bottom line, if you don't dump your grump soon, 249 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:20,119 you'll go permanently... insane. 250 00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:23,748 No! No, that can't be. I'm fine-- [coughs] 251 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:26,417 -Oh, dear God! -Eww, Andrew! 252 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,294 You use a handkerchief? 253 00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:31,005 -[panting] -Nick, hold on, wait up! 254 00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:32,381 [exhales] Are you okay? 255 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,967 Of course I'm not okay. My whole life is over! 256 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,261 Whoa, buddy. Calm down, you're shaking. 257 00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,888 -Shaking? -I could take you to the nurse. 258 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,723 She could give you a cup of water. 259 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:43,434 Water? What the hell is water gonna do? 260 00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:46,812 Hey, Jessi, your parents are divorced. You want a cup of fucking water? 261 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,272 -Hey! -Just leave me alone! 262 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,316 Okay, fine. Jesus. 263 00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:51,233 [gasps] 264 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,736 Wow, that is certainly a dead bird. 265 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:55,613 Check it out, its belly is full of gas, 266 00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:59,325 so if you poke its butthole with a stick, it actually squeaks. 267 00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:00,951 [squeaks] 268 00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:02,870 I think that's actually called its cloaca. 269 00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:06,874 Cloaca. That's a beautiful name for... a baby, or any-- 270 00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:09,377 Wow. Crazy how tall these trees are. 271 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,628 [both] So tall. 272 00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:11,712 -Super. -Yeah. 273 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,298 Um... so what else should we do? 274 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:15,299 I don't know. 275 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:17,718 Uh, what do you wanna do? 276 00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:19,428 Whatever, honestly. 277 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,930 Whatever, right? Yeah. 278 00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:22,723 Are we moving closer to each other? 279 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,475 You're not turning away from me. 280 00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,644 -I'm not turning away from you. -Yep. 281 00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:28,896 Thank you for doing what's about to happen. 282 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,693 -[electronic music playing] -Wow. 283 00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:36,362 Is it possible this party could actually be good? 284 00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:38,656 -[dance music playing] -Oh, it's not good. 285 00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:39,699 It's perfect. 286 00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:45,329 Welcome to Soak Palace, where all your dreams are wet. 287 00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:48,749 And muddy! Guys, help yourself to some snacks! 288 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,043 Yeah, there's pretzels and shaving cream on the table, 289 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,878 and Luda's passing out the hot apps! 290 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,296 It's lasag-na. 291 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:57,049 Oh, my God, I've never said that word out loud before! 292 00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,467 You nailed it, babe. Up top! 293 00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,385 Go, Lola! 294 00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:00,803 Hey, party people! 295 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,596 DJ Pendejo here, 296 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:06,809 returning to the scene of the time where I made thick in the warm! 297 00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:09,145 -Meow! Meow! -Hi, Steve. 298 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:12,106 Hi, Jay's mom, my sexual partner. 299 00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:16,694 Come on in, guys! The water's piping hot and slick as shit! 300 00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:18,404 Ooh, I'm at your service, my queen. 301 00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:21,866 I think it's time for you to clean the royal stinky pinky. 302 00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:22,867 Yeah, right there. 303 00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:26,287 Oh! Mm-hmm. Yep. This is officially better than 304 00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:29,123 the time I saw Eric Stonestreet fall down a flight of stairs. 305 00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:30,708 Lola, can I talk to you for a second? 306 00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:33,878 Aww, but my crown jewels are still getting polished. 307 00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:35,045 Right now! 308 00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:36,756 [Lola] Oh, my God! What the hell? 309 00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:40,134 Please tell me you're not actually with Jay. 310 00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:43,637 Yeah, kind of, I mean, we built this, like, dank-ass pool. 311 00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,848 You need to drop him immediately. 312 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:48,350 You might as well be dating a meatball sub. 313 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,227 First of all, yum! 314 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:53,481 But, like, ultimately, what's wrong with Jay? 315 00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:55,483 [chuckles] He's like a dirty, weird kid. 316 00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:57,902 I once saw him eat someone else's scab, bro. 317 00:12:57,985 --> 00:12:59,737 He's a true goblin. 318 00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:00,780 Oh, my God, please! 319 00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:03,866 You guys are just jealous  of our sick-ass Soak Palace! 320 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:07,411 Lola, this pool is a fucking wet tomb. 321 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:10,289 It's trash, and so is Jay. Look at him. 322 00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:12,541 -[spray gurgles] -Oh, yeah, it's foamy. 323 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,668 Molecular gastronomy. A lot of foam. 324 00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:18,130 You seriously can't bring this horror show into eighth grade. 325 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,673 You'll be a fucking joke. 326 00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:21,133 Oh, no! 327 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:24,512 Sigh, comma, groan! Aw... 328 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,014 Oh, God, where am I? 329 00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:28,390 You're lost. In the woods! 330 00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,684 I think this is how Berman's brother died. 331 00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:33,145 Oh! I can't believe I had so many jokes about Berman! 332 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,438 And then you sang! 333 00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,690 Fucking Connie told me to be vulnerable. 334 00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:38,275 It was humiliating. 335 00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:41,278 Andrew's gonna tell everyone at school what a loser you are! 336 00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,531 Oh, that's totally what he's gonna do. 337 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:47,159 What if they call you Soup in eighth grade? 338 00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:49,870 -[gasps] -[Tito] You'll have no friends! 339 00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,288 You'll never get laid! 340 00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:54,583 You'll be an old man with your untouched, dusty little dick! 341 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,253 [gasping] I think I'm having a panic attack! 342 00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,380 -[insects buzzing] -[groans] 343 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,339 Andrew? 344 00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:01,549 Why, Nick? 345 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,134 Why did you kiss Missy? 346 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:05,803 Maybe it's because you're selfish! 347 00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:08,639 No, I'm just a fierce advocate for my own happiness. 348 00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:12,643 And why did you make fun of my dope hats? 349 00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:14,144 I stand my ground on that one. 350 00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:15,771 Fuck you, the hats rule! 351 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,399 You're a condescending prick, 352 00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:21,318 and we'll never be friends again! 353 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:23,445 No! 354 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:27,074 [silent scream] 355 00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:29,577 -[groans] -Why can't you just shit in the bunk? 356 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:33,539 Everyone's hooking up in there, and you know I get caca-shy! 357 00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:36,876 I'm not going anywhere, you fucking bird brain! 358 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:40,129 Strain, Andrew. Push all the blood to your face! 359 00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:44,550 If you motherfuckers try and shit me, I'll pull out your fucking spinal cord! 360 00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:46,051 Oh, God, Maury. [strains] 361 00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,304 I'm scared. Maybe I can just hold it in forever. 362 00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,055 You can't, Andrew! You'll go mad! 363 00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:52,391 I think it's time for me to pop your dookie bubble. 364 00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:53,809 Shout-out to Bobby and Whitney. 365 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,853 Oh, fuck! Okay, I'll try anything. 366 00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:56,812 Just hurry up. 367 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,647 All right, Andrew, I think I-- [grunts] 368 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,399 Maury! How did he get a knife? 369 00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:04,111 I'm a pile of shit with nothing to lose! 370 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:05,404 Oh, no, Maury. 371 00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:07,364 Stay with me. No! Shh, just hold it in. 372 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,491 -No, just don't let the blood out-- -[poop cackling] 373 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:15,623 Why are you doing this to me? 374 00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:16,832 You made me! 375 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,918 I am the ugly hate inside of you, 376 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,795 and I'll keep getting bigger and bigger 377 00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:24,840 until we are one! 378 00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:28,636 -[maniacal laughing] -[Andrew wails] 379 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:31,639 -Wow. -Oh, wow. 380 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:33,599 You're a surprisingly good kisser. 381 00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:36,477 Well, my dad's a high-end butcher, and I practice on the meats. 382 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,772 So if you're ever at Goldberg's in Montreal, do not eat the pastrami. 383 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,440 [chuckles] Thanks for the heads-up. 384 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:45,069 -No problem. -So, should we go back to the group? 385 00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:47,738 The group? Uh... Oh, yeah, totally. 386 00:15:47,821 --> 00:15:50,282 Um, so how do we wanna do this? 387 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:53,661 Do you, uh, wanna go first, and I'll just hang back 388 00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:54,954 -and chill for a sec? -What? 389 00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:58,499 Or do you want me to run as fast as I can, and then you just show up later? 390 00:15:58,582 --> 00:15:59,959 -What do you mean? -I'm just saying, 391 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,543 I don't know if we should show up  at the same time, 392 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,963 'cause then, you know, everyone will know. 393 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,798 Oh. Oh, my God. 394 00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:07,049 Fuck. 395 00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:08,467 You don't want anyone to know. 396 00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:12,596 Look, I-- I'm really into you,  and I like you. 397 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,724 I-- I'm just mildly terrified 398 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,851 of what the guys will say, because you're... 399 00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:18,769 I'm what? 400 00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,270 Say it. I'm trans. 401 00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:21,939 No! I mean, yes. 402 00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:25,818 But no, no! It-- it-- it's because you are so... 403 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,278 great, and they'll get jealous. 404 00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:32,032 'Cause I get to kiss the great one. You! 405 00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:32,950 Fuck you! 406 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:35,119 I'm a person, not something to hide. 407 00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:37,246 [sighs] This is such a fucking bummer. 408 00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:38,163 Natalie, I'm sorry! 409 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:41,417 You know, have fun face-fucking your dad's meat, you French Canadian cunt! 410 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,420 -[squelching] -It's high-end meat! Ow, fuck! 411 00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:46,046 Ugh, the bird popped! 412 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,089 Natalie, come back! 413 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,091 Ugh. The smell is... 414 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:51,093 It is not what you'd expect! 415 00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:53,721 [chuckles] Hey-o! You guys having fun? 416 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:54,972 -Eh. -Not really. 417 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,515 Oh, my stars, 418 00:16:56,598 --> 00:17:00,019 look at that queen in her palace. Mm-mm-mm! 419 00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:02,479 Jay, honey, this isn't a palace. 420 00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,023 It's a bowl of fucking malaria. 421 00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,316 What? I don't know what you're-- 422 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,485 [gasps] Oh, no. 423 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:09,403 Luda! 424 00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:12,406 And that's not an elegant queen. That's Lola. 425 00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:14,658 Leggo my lasag-na! 426 00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:16,410 Oh, shit. 427 00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:17,870 [groans] 428 00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:21,040 You're mine now, dick cheese! 429 00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,167 Okay, brother, we can work this out. What do you want? 430 00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:27,588 I want you to become your true self: an angry piece of shit! 431 00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:31,717 No, please! You're hurting me! [screams] 432 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,635 -My fur and whiskers! You're late! -What? 433 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,512 -You're late! You're late! -What am I late for? 434 00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:38,640 Oh, you're late, you're late, for a very important make! 435 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:42,227 You didn't poop or shit or crap! You're late! You're late! You're late! 436 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,313 What the fuck is happening? 437 00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:48,317 Why, you have fullsy-blownsy, sweetsy-brownsy 438 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,904 Poop madness! 439 00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,489 [cackles] 440 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:57,242 Oh, God, I do! I really do! [groans] 441 00:17:57,326 --> 00:18:01,413 ♪ The rectal strain has reached  Your brain ♪ 442 00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:05,250 ♪ The bile seeps into your soul ♪ 443 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,294 ♪ Join the dance of fools ♪ 444 00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:09,922 ♪ Whose stubborn stools ♪ 445 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:13,842 ♪ Will never reach the bowl ♪ 446 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:18,597 ♪ You've received an invitation ♪ 447 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,684 ♪ To the carnival of constipation ♪ 448 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:26,855 ♪ Your blocked behind has blown  Your mind ♪ 449 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:30,609 ♪ And opened up the door ♪ 450 00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:32,986 -Oh, no! -♪ To poop madness ♪ 451 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:35,447 ♪ Poop madness ♪ 452 00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:38,534 -♪ Poop madness ♪ -[gasps] 453 00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:39,451 Nick? 454 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,954 Not anymore. You turned me into Soup! 455 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:47,209 -Calling all Thick Hogsmen! [snorts] -[yells] 456 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:48,794 [Seth] It's chow time! 457 00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:52,631 -♪ Organs twist, intestines pound ♪ -No! Nick! 458 00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:56,385 This is fucked up. This is beyond the pale. 459 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,512 Why are you such a shithead? 460 00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,472 ♪ Poop madness ♪ 461 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:03,725 No! [groans] 462 00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:09,231 Ugh. That transphobic, cargo-short  wearing, Canadian motherfucker! 463 00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:12,484 I just can't believe someone so stupid could make me feel so bad. 464 00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:14,319 Should we go kick his ass? 465 00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:16,405 Yeah, maybe. Are you good at fighting? 466 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:17,364 I have never fought. 467 00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:19,449 I kicked someone in the back really hard once. 468 00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,326 But you know, I don't think that's the best way 469 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,828 to spend our last few hours at camp. 470 00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:25,247 I mean, at least you got your first kiss. 471 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:28,083 Yeah, and I made a really special friend this summer. 472 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,751 Milk's dad's friend, Bob Reedy? 473 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:33,088 -[laughs] No, you fucking idiot. You. -I knew that. 474 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,632 My first kiss was with a troll named Myron. 475 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,676 He had a flat ass and buck teeth. 476 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:40,053 He could eat me out through a tennis racket. 477 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:43,265 We dated for eight years. [sighs] 478 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:44,933 I should call him. 479 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,602 -[buzzing] -[panting] 480 00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:48,228 Gotta calm down. 481 00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,189 How? You can't even breathe! 482 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,607 -Everything's fine. -No, it's not. 483 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:54,067 -I'm clearly dying, but everything's fine. -[moaning] 484 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:57,112 Is that the sick triceratops from Jurassic Park? 485 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,655 [moaning continues] 486 00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:01,283 Andrew, is that you? Are you okay? 487 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,035 [poop] Ugh! This fucking guy! 488 00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:04,995 Tell him to go jump off a fucking bridge. 489 00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:06,830 I'm fine. You go away! 490 00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:08,874 -Okay, if that's what you want. -[gurgling] 491 00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:11,919 Oh, boy! I changed my mind! Nick, don't leave me! 492 00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:13,295 No! What if it's a trap? 493 00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:14,880 [moans] Please, don't leave me. 494 00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:16,131 What's wrong with you? 495 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:19,051 -I got poop madness, man! -What? 496 00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:23,222 I haven't shit all summer, and I'm losing my mind. I need your help. 497 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:24,890 You can't trust him. 498 00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:27,893 Why should I help you? I mean, you've been an asshole to me all summer! 499 00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,812 Oh, that's Nick! That's Nick to a T! 500 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,898 Typical selfish little fuck. 501 00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:35,150 Well, you were an asshole to me in the first place. 502 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,736 I said I was sorry. Why can't you let it go? 503 00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,696 No! Never let it go! 504 00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:40,781 Hold it in! 505 00:20:40,864 --> 00:20:43,909 I wanna let it go, but it's just so hard. 506 00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:47,537 Look, Andrew, I know, but I've just really missed you. 507 00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:50,249 No, don't be vulnerable. 508 00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:52,042 I've missed you too. 509 00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:53,585 Aww, give me a hug. 510 00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:55,337 -No! -Oh, no! 511 00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:56,922 I'm losing my grip! 512 00:20:57,005 --> 00:20:58,799 [poop] Oh, God! Motherfuckers! 513 00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:01,093 [Tito] There's so much more  to worry about! 514 00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:03,512 Nick! It's coming. 515 00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:05,847 Oh, God! You're gonna shit right now? 516 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,391 I can feel it crowning. 517 00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:10,102 Oh, Nick, no.  I can't do this. I can't do this. 518 00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:13,188 Oh, Andrew, you're already doing it. 519 00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:16,692 Stay right here, Daddy. 520 00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:18,318 I got you, okay? 521 00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:21,029 Your body is doing what it was meant to do! 522 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,532 Oh, get this fucking thing out of me! 523 00:21:23,615 --> 00:21:25,325 You say whatever you need to say. 524 00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:29,329 [exhales] I hate men! I hate men! 525 00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:32,374 -[sentimental music playing] -♪ I stand by you… ♪ 526 00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,502 [groans] 527 00:21:38,588 --> 00:21:40,173 [wailing] 528 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:44,303 You're my hero! I am so proud of you. 529 00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:45,554 One more push. 530 00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:49,641 -[screams] -You're doing it! 531 00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:52,227 [chuckles] Oh, you did it. You did it. 532 00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,146 No, Nick. We did it. 533 00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:55,647 Should I cut the cord? 534 00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:57,149 I think it's linguine. 535 00:21:57,816 --> 00:22:02,362 Aww, nine pounds, six ounces,  22-inches long. 536 00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:04,281 What a massive turd. 537 00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:05,949 Hey, you. 538 00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:10,495 Eww! Soup's holding Glouberman's poop! 539 00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,039 Kinky little fucks. 540 00:22:12,122 --> 00:22:13,874 They're Soup and Poop! 541 00:22:13,957 --> 00:22:16,877 [chanting] Soup and Poop! 542 00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:18,462 Soup and Poop! 543 00:22:18,962 --> 00:22:20,339 Oh, no, Nick-- 544 00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:22,966 It's okay, man. They can call us whatever they want. 545 00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:25,302 -We have each other. -No, it's not that. 546 00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:29,389 [strains] Honey, I think we're having twins! 547 00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:31,641 -[grunts] -[screaming] 548 00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:35,645 Aww, the second one's a totally different color. 549 00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:38,315 Excuse me, trying to get past. 550 00:22:38,398 --> 00:22:41,068 -Nobody's stopping you. -[scoffs] It was nice the Devins came. 551 00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:42,736 You certainly seemed to have a good time with them. 552 00:22:42,819 --> 00:22:43,945 I'm surprised you noticed, 553 00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:47,032 considering how busy you were butt-fucking Matthew and Aiden. 554 00:22:47,115 --> 00:22:49,743 You wish, Lola. In my dreams. 555 00:22:49,826 --> 00:22:52,454 Yeah, right. Like you're even allowed  to go to sleep. 556 00:22:52,537 --> 00:22:55,582 Joke's on you, I'm allowed 30 minutes of sleep, every two-- 557 00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:58,251 -What the fuck! -I can't live like this anymore! 558 00:22:58,335 --> 00:23:00,754 You owe me a Scooby-Doo plate! 559 00:23:00,837 --> 00:23:02,047 Devin was right about you! 560 00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:05,342 She said you were a meatball sub, and I could do slightly better! 561 00:23:05,425 --> 00:23:08,553 Oh, yeah?  Well, Matthew said you were Lola! 562 00:23:08,637 --> 00:23:10,389 How dare he! 563 00:23:10,472 --> 00:23:12,140 You know what, Jay? 564 00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:15,060 I think it's best if we do what my parents did: 565 00:23:15,143 --> 00:23:18,688 divvy up the lotto tickets and move to separate parts of Yonkers! 566 00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:23,402 Let's face it, our pool was gross, and everybody thought we were gross too. 567 00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:26,405 My feet are so wet and dirty! 568 00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:28,115 Oh, yeah? What do you got? 569 00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:30,158 Like, muddy fucking toes? 570 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:31,910 Something like that. [sniffles] 571 00:23:31,993 --> 00:23:33,620 Lift. Wiggle, wiggle. 572 00:23:33,703 --> 00:23:38,166 You look like you just ran the Kentucky Derby in the rain. 573 00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:40,669 Clip-clop! I'm a little show pony. 574 00:23:40,752 --> 00:23:42,879 Ah! That's so hot. 575 00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:44,506 You know what? Fuck this! 576 00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:46,633 I like navigating the world with you. 577 00:23:46,716 --> 00:23:49,845 -And I'm scared to be alone at my house! -Fuck what everybody else says! 578 00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:52,305 Let's take this love connection to the eighth grade! 579 00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:54,724 Really? You mean like boyfriend and girlfriend? 580 00:23:54,808 --> 00:23:55,725 No! 581 00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:57,894 -What? -Like king and queen. 582 00:23:57,978 --> 00:24:00,480 Oh, fuck, yes! 583 00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:02,399 [Lola laughs] 584 00:24:02,482 --> 00:24:06,153 Mmm! You're a bad boy, aren't you? 585 00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:08,822 Yeah, you're having sex with a boy! 586 00:24:08,905 --> 00:24:11,116 I don't wanna go to sleep! 587 00:24:11,199 --> 00:24:13,326 Oh, you don't have to, Steve. 588 00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:15,704 [Steve] I'm so tired, though! 589 00:24:17,581 --> 00:24:19,875 -[sobbing] -I'm gonna miss you so much. 590 00:24:19,958 --> 00:24:22,169 You have to come see me in the city, okay? 591 00:24:22,252 --> 00:24:24,296 I'm gonna text you every day for the first week, 592 00:24:24,379 --> 00:24:27,257 and then once every six months for the next ten years. 593 00:24:27,340 --> 00:24:28,175 Ditto. 594 00:24:28,258 --> 00:24:30,844 -How you feeling, buddy? -I'm fine, I-- I can walk. 595 00:24:30,927 --> 00:24:33,263 No, they don't want you to. It's an insurance thing. 596 00:24:33,346 --> 00:24:34,639 Hey, Soup, Poop. 597 00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:37,058 Just want to say you two should take good care of each other. 598 00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:40,353 Don't fuck it up 'cause you're afraid of what other people might say, 599 00:24:40,437 --> 00:24:44,983 even if it was the best goddamn kiss of your entire fucking life. 600 00:24:45,066 --> 00:24:46,276 -What? -What? Nothing. 601 00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,904 Anyway, I just, uh, got you guys a goodbye present. 602 00:24:48,987 --> 00:24:51,990 -Is it a duck egg? -No! It's not a duck egg! 603 00:24:52,073 --> 00:24:53,492 It's never been a duck egg! 604 00:24:53,575 --> 00:24:55,327 It's been my balls the whole time. 605 00:24:55,410 --> 00:24:57,913 I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to tell you. But now you know. 606 00:24:57,996 --> 00:25:02,542 My dad's friend Bob Reedy calls his testicles his huevos. 607 00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:04,294 Uh, Milk, do me a favor. 608 00:25:04,377 --> 00:25:06,588 You be careful around Bob Reedy, okay? 609 00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:07,631 Nick. 610 00:25:07,714 --> 00:25:09,591 There is no Bob Reedy. 611 00:25:09,674 --> 00:25:11,009 Oh, boy. 612 00:25:13,637 --> 00:25:16,264 Oh, that was a pretty great summer, wasn't it, Nick? 613 00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:18,141 What? No, it fucking sucked. 614 00:25:18,225 --> 00:25:19,851 Best summer of our lives. 615 00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:22,437 At least you got rid of Tito, that anxiety mosquito. 616 00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:23,605 I do feel less anxious. 617 00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:27,400 I just hope my asshole heals before the first day of school. [chuckles] 618 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:30,320 According to WebMD, I have turtleneck butt. 619 00:25:30,403 --> 00:25:32,113 Yeah, but it was all worth it. 620 00:25:32,197 --> 00:25:33,698 Look at these two rascals. 621 00:25:33,782 --> 00:25:35,325 I've named them Zack and Cody, 622 00:25:35,408 --> 00:25:38,078 and I think they're gonna have a pretty sweet life. 623 00:25:38,161 --> 00:25:40,622 [Nick] All right. Eighth grade, here we come. 624 00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:43,667 -["I'll Stand by You" by Pretenders plays] -[buzzing] 625 00:25:43,750 --> 00:25:45,752 ♪ I'll stand by you ♪ 626 00:25:47,295 --> 00:25:49,589 ♪ I'll stand by you ♪ 627 00:25:50,799 --> 00:25:54,386 ♪ Won't let nobody hurt you♪ 628 00:25:54,469 --> 00:25:56,805 ♪ I'll stand by you ♪ 629 00:25:59,266 --> 00:26:00,433 ♪ So ♪ 630 00:26:02,102 --> 00:26:05,230 ♪ If you're mad, get mad ♪ 631 00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:08,608 ♪ Don't hold it all inside ♪ 632 00:26:09,109 --> 00:26:12,779 ♪ Come on and talk to me now ♪ 633 00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:14,739 ♪ Hey ♪ 634 00:26:16,241 --> 00:26:19,244 ♪ What you got to hide? ♪ 635 00:26:19,786 --> 00:26:22,914 ♪ I get angry too ♪ 636 00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:27,502 ♪ Well, I'm alive like you ♪ 637 00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:30,880 ♪ When you're standing at the crossroads ♪ 638 00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:34,009 [man laughs] "Good at Bizness." 639 00:26:34,092 --> 00:26:35,343 [kazoo plays] 640 00:26:36,094 --> 00:26:38,013 -[man] Chirp. -[man 2] Fathouse.