1 00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:08,008 ["Changes" by Ozzy Osbourne playing] 2 00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:14,764 And... we're back. 3 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,683 ♪ I feel unhappy ♪ 4 00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:21,604 ♪ I feel so sad ♪ 5 00:00:23,481 --> 00:00:26,067 ♪ I've lost the best friend ♪ 6 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,862 Ooh, let's-- Yeah, stretch that. 7 00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:30,530 -Uh-huh. -♪ That I ever had ♪ 8 00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:36,161 ♪ I'm going through changes ♪ 9 00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,084 [clears throat] 10 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:48,006 -[in Chinese] Hello. Hello. -♪ I'm going through changes ♪ 11 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,180 [man] Sit tight or shake your booty! 12 00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:56,848 -[audience cheers] -'Cause it's time to... 13 00:00:56,931 --> 00:01:02,479 [audience] "Countdown to Money with Nick Starr"! 14 00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:03,730 [in Chinese] Hello! 15 00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,815 [in English] Welcome back to  Countdown to Money, 16 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,943 where the poor and desperate humiliate themselves 17 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:12,405 for the chance to receive basic human services! 18 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:13,740 [audience cheering] 19 00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:15,533 [man] I haven't peed in weeks! 20 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:17,911 That's right! Nowadays, you have to pay to pee. 21 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:21,289 But not right now, because it's time to play our next game... 22 00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:25,126 "Fuck Your Brother!" 23 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:28,088 Danny and Jerry Lynch, tell us why you're here. 24 00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:29,631 Well, our mom has cancer, 25 00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:32,092 and medical insurance doesn't exist anymore. 26 00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,760 Plus, we love the show! 27 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:36,137 And have you thought about who's going to fuck whom? 28 00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:39,808 Well, I've got the tinier dick, so our family agreed it should be me. 29 00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:41,768 -[audience booing] -[man 2] We want the big dick! 30 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:44,187 Oh, ho! Lynch brothers, you heard 'em. 31 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,980 They want the bigger dick. 32 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,024 But first, a word from our sponsor. 33 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,318 [woman] Do you find physical and emotional intimacy 34 00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:51,986 with others impossible? 35 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,321 -Oh, yeah. -[woman] Well, 36 00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:55,990 -what if orgasms came in a can? -[inhales] 37 00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:59,828 Oh, yeah! [shudders] 38 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:02,747 With instant orgasm inducer "Ohyeah," 39 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:04,374 I can cum whenever I want 40 00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:08,211 without the hassle of dealing with other people or even myself. 41 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,922 -[snaps] -[inhales] Oh, fuck yeah! 42 00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:14,634 ♪ Easy, quick squirt! It's Ohyeah! ♪ 43 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:17,762 Oh, God, it's freezing! Why is the water pressure so high? 44 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,222 What do you think, studio audience? 45 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:22,267 Should the Lynch brothers get their mom's cancer money? 46 00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:25,019 Or should we throw them into... 47 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:27,147 -[all] The Spice Pit! -[bell dings] 48 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:30,066 -When is this gonna air? [shouts] -Mom, we're sorry! [screams] 49 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,901 Well, that's our time for tonight. 50 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:35,905 This is Nick Starr reminding you to check your toilets for toilet people 51 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:40,326 who live in the sewers and use their tiny hands to grab our pubes. 52 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,328 And we're out. 53 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,580 Another great show, Mr. Starr. 54 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:44,581 You too... 55 00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:46,332 stage manager. 56 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:47,750 [robot] Congratulations, Nick. 57 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,461 Those brothers really did not want  to fuck each other. 58 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:51,504 [Nick] Yeah, yeah. 59 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:52,797 Very compelling content. 60 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:54,007 Thanks, Andrew-3000. 61 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:57,427 Have you given any more thought to building me a robot bride? 62 00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,679 Why would I do that? We're both bachelors. 63 00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:01,723 Oh, yes, the Batch Boys. 64 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,766 Alone together, forever. 65 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:04,851 That's right, A-3. 66 00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:07,520 Daily reminder:  I have this switch you can flip, 67 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,814 -and I will be gay with you. -[snaps] 68 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:12,859 -[inhales] Oh. Ohhh! -[rumbling] 69 00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:14,777 Boy, that was a big one. [chuckles] 70 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,696 Actually, that was an earthquake. 71 00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:20,325 -They are becoming more frequent. -[yawns] Either way, I am soaked. 72 00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:22,202 Shall I replace your cum diaper? 73 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:25,455 No, I think I'll sit in it a bit and let my butt cheeks prune. 74 00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:28,833 -[man] We have a breaking news bulletin. -Wait, hold on. Turn that up, A-3. 75 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,711 Sad news tonight as the People's Ambassador to the moon, 76 00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:35,340 Missy Foreman-Greenwald, has died in a flying car accident. 77 00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:37,258 Wait, what? Missy's dead? 78 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,593 In the face of global warming, 79 00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:42,847 Foreman-Greenwald gave hope to humankind with her Project Earthseed. 80 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:44,849 By terraforming the moon, 81 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,352 we'll make a new home for all humanity. 82 00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:51,522 Even the toilet people, as much  as they like to yank on our pubes. 83 00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:55,026 Foreman-Greenwald's funeral will be held tomorrow at her alma mater,  84 00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:56,152 Bridgeton Middle. 85 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,696 The world has lost one of its brightest lights, 86 00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,365 and, on a personal note, 87 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:03,785 -a dork dear to my heart. -[sobs] 88 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,411 -Turn it off. -This is terrible. 89 00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:08,164 I know. Missy was such a special person. 90 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:11,084 I will pack your grieving cum diaper for the funeral. 91 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:14,254 Oh, I couldn't possibly go. My schedule-- 92 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:17,382 There is no taping tomorrow. It's Martin Shkreli Jr. Day. 93 00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:20,385 Look, I'm not going. I would have to see my family and old friends, 94 00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:22,136 meet their disgusting children. 95 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:25,181 The kids will wanna hold my phone and break my sunglasses. 96 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,809 [A-3] Still, it might be nice to see the old gang. 97 00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:30,728 It might also be nice if you changed my cum diaper. 98 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,022 And don't be stingy with the Nicky powder. 99 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,983 I love this relationship. 100 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:41,114 It is your big-time Hollywood agent calling. 101 00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:42,198 Okay. [clears throat] 102 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,116 Put him on. 103 00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:45,576 Nick Starr, my favorite fucking client. 104 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,495 -Hey... -I got good news, and I got bad news. 105 00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:50,123 Oh, I love this game. Give me the bad news first. 106 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,542 The Earth is done. Canceled. Kaput! 107 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:53,960 -What? -Mass extinction! 108 00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:56,504 I thought the scientists said we had, like, 20 years. 109 00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:57,880 More like 20 hours. 110 00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,466 The ocean's flooding the core through a sinkhole in Florida or something. 111 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,510 Oh, my God. We're all gonna die. 112 00:05:02,593 --> 00:05:03,886 Hey, relax. 113 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,347 The good news is you're too rich to die. 114 00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:07,265 Oh, thank God. 115 00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:11,644 Now, there's a VIP ark going to the moon, and we represent it. 116 00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,314 Hey, you signed the ark! I knew you were chasing it. Congrats! 117 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,232 Shh! Super secret. 118 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,901 It's leaving Shkreli International Airport tomorrow. 119 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:22,238 -Only the .0001% are in the know. -Okay. 120 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,781 I'm sending the tickets to A-3 now. 121 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,034 These are in pill form. 122 00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,410 They're suppositories. 123 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:30,038 You gotta stick it right up your privileged pooper. 124 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:31,748 Ooh. What's the other one for? 125 00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,916 Not "what," "who." You have a plus-one. 126 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,878 Okay, I'll take Andrew-3000. 127 00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:38,463 I will make you feel so good. 128 00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:41,549 Nope. It's gotta be a human, someone you can procreate with. 129 00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:42,467 Flesh and blood. 130 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:46,804 And while I have you, the NRA wants to reboot Toy Story, but with guns. 131 00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:49,182 -I'm listening. -You'd play a shy assault rifle 132 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,392 who loves to kill shit. You in? 133 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:52,935 Yeah, if the dates work, sure. 134 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,692 What about my stylist Becky as my plus-one? 135 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,028 Do you remember when her gums got infected, 136 00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:03,780 and she asked for antibiotics, 137 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,032 and you said, quote, "Let's circle back"? 138 00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:07,033 -Yeah. -She died. 139 00:06:07,116 --> 00:06:10,411 Oh, should we send her family some piss tokens? 140 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,121 The world is ending tomorrow. 141 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,165 Yes, that would be a waste of piss tokens. 142 00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:16,542 What about other women who have worked for you, 143 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,711 so that the power dynamic is in your favor? 144 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:23,257 Ooh, the network gifted me a bottle  of tequila shaped like a boxing glove. 145 00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,426 -Should I bring that? Is that a person? -[ringing] 146 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,053 It's my human counterpart. 147 00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:29,138 Shall I ignore the call as usual? 148 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,057 No. I'll take it. 149 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,060 Holy shit, you picked up! 150 00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:38,147 Andrew, is that you? You look disturbingly like your father. 151 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:41,818 I wish. He got a tapeworm and Lasik, and now he is hot. 152 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:42,735 Huh. 153 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:46,531 Anyway, I call because I assume you heard the terrible news. 154 00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:47,782 -Oh, about the world? -Huh? 155 00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:50,493 Yeah, I guess Missy was our world for a minute. 156 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:54,038 Ooh, right, our dead school companion Missy. 157 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,998 Oh, how I mourn her. 158 00:06:56,082 --> 00:07:00,628 Yeah, so I was calling to see if you're gonna go to the funeral tomorrow. 159 00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:03,297 No, tomorrow I'm... 160 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:07,718 marrying a bottle of tequila shaped like a boxing glove. 161 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:11,139 Oh, my God, congratulations! What's her name? 162 00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:13,516 Danielle... Aykroyd. 163 00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,184 Well, she sounds lovely. 164 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:20,481 Yes, it's a very cute story. We met when she was gifted to me by the network. 165 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:23,025 Well, you'll be missed at Missy's funeral. 166 00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,444 The whole gang's gonna be there. 167 00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:27,822 -Minus Missy, of course. Whom I mourn. -[A-3] This is going well, Nick. 168 00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:31,701 Oh, hey, you'll never guess who I ran into at Trader Two Point Joe's. 169 00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:32,618 Missy? 170 00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,745 -No, she's dead. -That's right. I mourn her. 171 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,497 I saw Jessi's dad. 172 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,916 He said she's coming in for the funeral. 173 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,460 Jessi. Wow. 174 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:43,713 I haven't seen her since that fight we had in Washington Square Park. 175 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:47,008 [clears throat] Is she still with Michael Angelo? 176 00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:50,052 That hot artist who haunts my erotic dreams? 177 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,013 No, no, Jessi's single. 178 00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:55,641 You know what, Andrew? I might be able to make it, move some things around. 179 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,728 But, Nick, what about your wedding to Danielle Aykroyd? 180 00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:01,022 I'm breaking up with her. I hated her friends. 181 00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:03,107 Ugh. Relationships, right? [chuckles] 182 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:06,819 -My son has so much contempt for me-- -Uh-huh. I gotta go. 183 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,614 A-3, bring up Jessi's life feed. 184 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,825 [all chanting]  Toilet people are people too! 185 00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,827 Toilet people like pee and poo! 186 00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:20,333 We're just trying to make the world a better place for your kids! 187 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:23,002 -Joke's on you. My kids suck! -Ow! 188 00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:25,004 Oh, my God, freeze image. Uh, zoom in. 189 00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:27,048 Lower. Lower still. 190 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:28,257 Enhance. 191 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,967 [gasps] It's Jessi. 192 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,636 Tit's always been Jessi. 193 00:08:31,719 --> 00:08:34,555 She's the breast. I'll take her on the ark. 194 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,974 Andrew-3000, pack my Ohyeah. 195 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,476 -I'm going home. -[snaps] 196 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:42,605 [inhales] Oh, ho-ho! Oh, yeah! 197 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,524 Wow, you really like her. 198 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:48,027 Oh, so many fond "mammaries." 199 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:55,618 Why is everyone carrying on about the fate of the planet? It's a beautiful day. 200 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,162 We're above the cloud line, sir. 201 00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:00,373 -Holy shit! -Yes. 202 00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:02,625 I guess it's been a while since I've been outside. 203 00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:06,295 -Not since they burned Adele at the stake. -Oh, that was gruesome. 204 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,966 But the album she put out after was so slay queen. 205 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:17,640 Incoming alert! The outside temperature is climbing at an alarming rate. 206 00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:20,685 Climate change is a hoax! Math is a lie! 207 00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:23,312 A hundred should be the first number! 208 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,481 [screams, grunts] 209 00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:26,899 Sweet Jesus! 210 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,985 The ark leaves in ten hours, sir. 211 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,611 -I'll swing by Missy's thing-- -Funeral. 212 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,321 -Get the loud redhead with tits-- -Jessi. 213 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,489 And zoom-zoom to the cheese. 214 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,824 -Escape to the moon. -Exactly. 215 00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:38,202 -Hamburger. Hamburger! -[gasps] 216 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,079 -What does this human person want from me? -[crowd clamoring] 217 00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:42,540 It seems she wants a hamburger sandwich, sir. 218 00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:44,125 [woman] Fries! Fries! 219 00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:46,586 [man] Or we could get half fries and half onion rings! 220 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,337 Do something, A-3! Fly out of here! 221 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,465 Flying mode is prohibited because of the mosquitoes. 222 00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,968 Enough with this PC culture! Just do it, man! 223 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,307 [woman screams] 224 00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:02,977 Oh my! Those black clouds are blocking the sun. 225 00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,645 Those are not black clouds. 226 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,981 Sorry, "African-American" clouds. 227 00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:09,358 No, Nick. Those are the mosquitoes. 228 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,485 -Well, who's the racist now? -[squishing] 229 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,904 Oh, my God! This is disgusting! 230 00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:17,742 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Prepare for emergency landing! 231 00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:21,162 Whoa! My cold brew! 232 00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:23,831 -[grunts, coughs] -[crashes] 233 00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:25,416 [hydraulics whirring] 234 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,418 -[electricity sparking] -[A-3] At-- 235 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,211 -[Nick gasps] -Reload! 236 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:33,507 -[coughing] -[distorted] Find... Jessi... 237 00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:35,885 Andrew-3000, my only friend. 238 00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:36,927 Sure! What? Yes. 239 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,180 -Before you perish... -Yes, Nick. 240 00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:40,431 Give me my... 241 00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:41,349 Ohyeah. 242 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:46,437 Oh, no! My Ohyeah. 243 00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,732 No, yeah... 244 00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:50,816 [groans] 245 00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:55,571 And we're back! [sighs] 246 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:59,241 [groans] Wait, where am I? Is this... my old room? 247 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:02,495 No, please! Please, don't kill me! 248 00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:05,498 What do you want? A signed poster? A handful of my pubes? 249 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:08,292 Joke's on you! I'm as smooth as a vase down there! 250 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:10,294 Still no bush, huh, Nick? 251 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,630 Jay, what are you doing in my house? 252 00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:14,590 I live here, bro. [laughs] 253 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,717 I'm the chieftain of a sex tribe 254 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:20,137 that fucks and sucks all over your childhood home. 255 00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,390 And also, I'm jacked! 256 00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:23,641 That's all very upsetting. 257 00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:26,477 Jay! Where are those human organs? 258 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,230 -Okay... -I'm literally starving! 259 00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,398 Funny story, 260 00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:33,609 I found you when I was out scavenging for people to fuck and eat. 261 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,654 Not necessarily in that order. [laughs] 262 00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,906 Wow, I can't believe you two are still together. 263 00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:41,075 -Thirty years strong, bro. -Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's right. 264 00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:44,370 I mean, I'll be honest, we've had our rough patches. 265 00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:47,373 -No, he's talking about my back skin. -Yeah. 266 00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:51,252 Since there's no ozone layer, I tan like a fucking rhino. 267 00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,379 Whoa. Wait, where's my family? 268 00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:56,173 Oh, they're getting pounded  out on the patio. 269 00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:58,134 You have to see what we've done with the place. 270 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:02,430 -Welcome to Shag-ri-la! -[grunting, moaning] 271 00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:03,848 [Jay] We share everything: 272 00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:06,016 our food, our possessions, our bodies. 273 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,561 We're a real cum-munist fucktopia! 274 00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:09,478 Nick? 275 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,771 Diane. Elliot. 276 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,399 Oh, oh, that's right. 277 00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:15,526 I forgot. You don't like to be touched. 278 00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:16,736 We can fist bump. 279 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:17,987 Hello, Nicholas. 280 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:20,698 Okay, Dad, you can give me one hug. 281 00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:22,742 No, no, no. I respect your boundaries, 282 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:26,162 and these days, I get all the affection I need from Jay. 283 00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:28,706 Ah! Come here, Papa. 284 00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:30,040 Oh, dear Lord. 285 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,377 Okay, I don't suppose any  of you have any Ohyeah. 286 00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:37,131 -[gasping] -What? Nick, come on, man! 287 00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,924 We don't do that synthetic garbage here. 288 00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,469 Yeah, we fuck like our forefathers did, 289 00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:43,804 and by that, I mean that I've narrowed it down 290 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,515 to four men who could be my father. 291 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,100 -[rumbling] -[exclaiming] 292 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,686 Oh, God. What time is it? Did I miss Missy's funeral? 293 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,856 No, we're all going right now in my kill car. It's a Jetta. It's cute. 294 00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:56,984 It's good for zippin' around and mowing down human roadkill. 295 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,944 Shotgun! Uh-huh! 296 00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:05,743 -Elliot. Diane. -Yeah. 297 00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:09,413 What if the world was ending, but only one of you could survive? 298 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:10,498 What would you do? 299 00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:13,834 Oh, is this one of your "Countdown to Something" games? 300 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,211 We only watched the first season. 301 00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,712 No, it's a real question. 302 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,298 I would gladly sacrifice myself for your mother. 303 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:23,469 Oh, Elliot, you wouldn't need to because I would never leave you. 304 00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:26,222 -I see. -We had this very conversation last night. 305 00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:28,974 Right before Jay gave us the deep-dicking of our lives. 306 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,060 It's true. Your mother got a nose bleed. 307 00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:34,271 Uh-huh. From the dick going so deep. Yes, kudos to Jay. 308 00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:35,731 You guys! Let's roll! 309 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,566 Yeah, let's go to that funeral. 310 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:38,901 [tires screech] 311 00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:42,321 The end is nigh. Come join us in Juddstown. 312 00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:43,322 [chittering] 313 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,741 [tires screech] 314 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:48,786 Nick Starr. 315 00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:50,871 Hey there, someone from my grade. 316 00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,998 -My name is Caleb. -How are you? 317 00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:54,834 You had plastic surgery. 318 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:57,127 Ho-ho! Thanks for watching. 319 00:13:58,087 --> 00:13:59,797 Where is she? Where's Jessi? 320 00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:01,757 [Andrew] Nick! Nick Starr! 321 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,175 That's my name, leave me alone. 322 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,094 Oh, my famous old friend! 323 00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:08,430 I tell a lot of people that I know you all the time. 324 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:11,559 And I had a robot of you that died. 325 00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,352 Aw. Thank you. 326 00:14:13,435 --> 00:14:17,231 Listen, Nick, would you meet someone right now? 327 00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:18,232 No, no, no. 328 00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:20,359 Andrew Jr., this is Nick Starr. 329 00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:22,736 Nick is famous, and he knows me. 330 00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,697 Nice to meet you, Mr. Starr. 331 00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:27,408 No, Maury, I'm not gonna jerk off at a funeral. 332 00:14:27,491 --> 00:14:28,450 Oh, dear Lord. 333 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,578 Is that what we were like at his age? 334 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,038 No, I actually did jerk off at a funeral. 335 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,748 These kids today, they're cowards. 336 00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,500 Honey, the funeral's about to start. 337 00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,168 Hello, I'm Nick Starr. 338 00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,296 I know, Nick. It's me, Gina. 339 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,464 Gina! You look like a mom. 340 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,049 That's because I am a mom. 341 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:45,676 Yeah, I can see that. 342 00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:47,386 Motherfucker. 343 00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:49,513 Well, I'm gonna go get us some seats, 344 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:52,433 but, Nick, it's been nice to look into your dead eyes 345 00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:54,518 and see nothing but profound loneliness. 346 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,103 Aw, well, thanks for watching. 347 00:14:56,186 --> 00:14:58,063 And that was Gina. 348 00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:00,357 She had marvelous breasts when we were children. 349 00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:01,692 I can't believe you married her. 350 00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,485 Well, we invited you to the wedding, 351 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,697 but you wanted an appearance fee, and, you know, we couldn't afford it. 352 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:10,367 So you have no money, and this makes you sad? 353 00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:11,744 Surprisingly, no. 354 00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:14,747 I mean, I have a great wife and that fucking son 355 00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:17,625 -and a solid job working for Ohyeah. -Hold on. 356 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,628 I mean, I know I'm not the spokesman or anything, but-- 357 00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:22,004 -Freeze image. Rewind. -What? 358 00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:24,798 -What was that about Ohyeah? -I've worked there for 20 years. 359 00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,884 Are you holding? Do you have any on you? I need some. 360 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:30,054 Oh, Nick Starr needs a favor from me. [grunts] 361 00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:33,057 Listen to me, you middle-class cunt, get me the fucking Ohyeah now! 362 00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:35,142 Don't worry, I can get it. Just give me two minutes. 363 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:37,978 By the way, ooh-la-la, "middle class"! 364 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,939 It feels like just yesterday 365 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:44,151 I was on a school trip to the 9/11 Museum with Missy. 366 00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:47,905 That's because the next morning, I was kicked in the head by a jealous horse, 367 00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,990 and I just woke up. So... 368 00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:52,159 The horse was jealous 'cause Steve had a bigger cock. 369 00:15:52,242 --> 00:15:54,912 Oh, my God, horses love drama. 370 00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:56,664 Oh, shit, it's Jessi. 371 00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:01,669 She looks abso-boobly breast-taking. 372 00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:05,297 Excuse me. 373 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,967 [in presenter voice] Jessi! Jessi Glaser! 374 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:09,969 -Hey. -It's me, Nick Starr. 375 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,303 Yeah, I'm not calling you that. 376 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:14,264 You better call me on the phone or don't call me at all! 377 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,141 Nick Starr for Samsung! 378 00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,811 Dude, can you please lose that stupid voice? 379 00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,562 [in deep voice] Uh, is this my voice? 380 00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:23,315 -Just talk like yourself. -Oh, no, she di'n't! 381 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,483 -Stop it! -Ow! 382 00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:27,861 -[in normal voice] What was that for? -There! That's the real Nick Birch. 383 00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:31,031 -[in presenter voice] The real Nick Birch! -God, no! Be you! 384 00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:33,283 [in normal voice] Ow!  Okay, I'm Nick Birch. 385 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:35,327 Stop being that fucking money zombie. 386 00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,621 So, you're against money zombies? 387 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:40,165 Can't you tell? That's why I shaved off half my hair. 388 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,458 -It looks good. -Thank you. 389 00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:45,504 It's, uh... It's nice to see you. I don't think we've talked since-- 390 00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:47,756 That day in the city when you were  a real asshole to me? [chuckles] 391 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,592 -Yeah, I think I had a crush on you. -You did? 392 00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:54,430 And I, for whatever reason, was jealous of... 393 00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:55,931 -Michael Angelo? -...Michael Angelo. 394 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,808 -Yeah. -I know, he was such a poser. 395 00:16:57,891 --> 00:16:58,934 He was, wasn't he? 396 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:02,312 Yeah, he really fucked me up in the old romance department. 397 00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:04,773 Ooh, not my favorite department.  [chuckles] 398 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:08,777 [chuckles] I just wish you had told me  you liked me all those years ago,  399 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,571 'cause things might have been different. 400 00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:13,615 Jessi, but what if it could be different now? 401 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,160 What if I told you everything was about to change? 402 00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:17,327 What are you talking about? 403 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:19,705 Look, I didn't come here for Missy's funeral. 404 00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:21,749 -I came here to see you. -Really? 405 00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:23,500 The world is ending, Jessi. 406 00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,294 No shit. Why do you think I shaved my head? 407 00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,671 No, like, today! Fucking ASAP. 408 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:30,340 -The Earth's core is about to explode. -Oh, my God. 409 00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,468 But I have a way for you and I to survive. 410 00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:34,636 You just have to let me stick this pill up your butt. 411 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,138 I've fallen for that before. I'm-- 412 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:37,723 I'm not joking around, Jessi! 413 00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:40,225 There is an ark leaving, and this is the ticket. 414 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:41,477 But what about everybody else? 415 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,146 Jessi, I wish I could save everybody-- 416 00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:45,230 -No, you don't. -I know. 417 00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:48,567 But I can only bring one person, and I wanna bring you. 418 00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:50,486 It's always been you. 419 00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:51,779 Oh, my God. 420 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,156 And it's always been you. 421 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:55,741 Yeah. Right? 422 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,205 Okay. Stick the pill up my butt. 423 00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:02,122 Turn around. 424 00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:04,750 [chuckles] 425 00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,251 -Wow. -[Nick] What is so funny? 426 00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:10,798 This hallway is where we had our first horrible kiss 30 years ago. 427 00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:13,342 Jessi, you really should stop talking and just kinda relax. 428 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,885 You keep pushing it back out. 429 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,220 So in the end, 430 00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:20,474 I have to believe Missy understood that the bra was to hold radishes. 431 00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:22,810 I did not wear the bra. 432 00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:29,483 [pants] One cup of raw, unstrained Ohyeah for my best bud. 433 00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:32,361 [inhales] Oh, yeah. This is fresh! 434 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:33,654 Where'd you get this? 435 00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:34,571 I made it. 436 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,240 I-- I don't understand. 437 00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:39,326 Ohyeah is my jizz. You inhale my jizz. 438 00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:40,702 -Oh, no. -Oh, yeah! 439 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,329 [sniffs] Oh, yeah. 440 00:18:42,412 --> 00:18:43,789 -[projector clicks] -[crowd gasps] 441 00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:46,625 People of Earth, if you are seeing this, 442 00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:48,377 -I was murdered... -[crowd gasps] 443 00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,254 ...because I knew too much. 444 00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:52,172 Ooh, plot twist. 445 00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,842 My life's work, Project Earthseed, 446 00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:57,427 was supposed to save all of humanity, 447 00:18:57,511 --> 00:19:00,639 but the disgustingly rich took it over, 448 00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:04,101 and now they just want to save themselves. 449 00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:08,397 You get your goddamn hands off my pubes, ya filthy toilet person, down there, 450 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,399 under here with my pubic hair there. 451 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:14,570 You see, this world is ending much sooner than we predicted. 452 00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,238 How much sooner do you think she means? 453 00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:17,573 -Today. -[crowd gasps] 454 00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:18,490 I fucking knew it. 455 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,325 It's all over today. 456 00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:22,661 Okay, so we still got a couple days, though. 457 00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,913 But there is a space ark 458 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,416 departing from Shkreli International Airport. 459 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:28,333 Oh, no. 460 00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,669 Go there. Save yourselves! 461 00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:36,175 Everyone should have a chance for survival, not just the privileged few. 462 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:37,593 [crowd muttering] 463 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:38,510 Or-- Or-- 464 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:44,183 Or the privileged few could keep talking and buy time as they walk out backwards... 465 00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,851 -Get him! -[crowd clamoring] 466 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:48,437 Run, Nick, run! 467 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:51,607 No! No! 468 00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:56,695 -[man screams] -See? It's not that big! 469 00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:57,988 Oh! 470 00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:01,200 Chaos reigns! 471 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,953 -[Nick gasps] -Nick, wait! Take us with you! 472 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:08,207 Yeah, I wanna be the first chick to shit on the moon! 473 00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:10,459 Oh, go fuck my parents and die! 474 00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:14,379 Ugh. That's a pretty sick burn, you gotta give it to him. 475 00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:15,881 The world's about to end! 476 00:20:15,964 --> 00:20:19,426 -You gotta give it to me! -[slurping] 477 00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:20,385 [Jay grunts] 478 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:24,890 [tires screech] 479 00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:27,059 -Oh! -Oh, shit! 480 00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:28,560 Cantor Dina? 481 00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:32,314 -Where are you going? -To make sure we get to that ark! 482 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,321 ♪ Oink, oink ♪ 483 00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:41,490 [Nick shouts] 484 00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,575 That'll do, pig! 485 00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:52,167 [grunts] That's one way to beat the lines. 486 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:54,544 Jessi, did you hear the cool thing I said? 487 00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,838 -[Jessi pants] We have tickets! -[Nick] Let me through! 488 00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:57,965 I'm on TV! 489 00:20:58,048 --> 00:21:00,259 And one movie. It was such a good experience. 490 00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,344 It was like camp. We just played. 491 00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:05,138 Nick Starr? [chuckles] 492 00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:09,810 Oh, I'm sorry to be that person. Would it be a pain if we took a selfie? 493 00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:12,229 -Okay. -You don't sound too excited about it. 494 00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:14,731 -Do you want the picture or not? -[camera shutter clicks] 495 00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,067 [both sigh] 496 00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:20,612 Ooh, four out-of-order episodes of My Name is Earl. 497 00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,072 -Turn that off. -[screen beeps] 498 00:21:22,155 --> 00:21:24,324 I think we can entertain ourselves. 499 00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:26,994 I've waited a long time for this. 500 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,290 [people screaming] 501 00:21:32,916 --> 00:21:33,750 Hey. 502 00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:35,002 Hey. 503 00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:43,260 -[groans] Wait, there's-- -What? 504 00:21:43,343 --> 00:21:45,137 -There's something I have to tell you. -What? 505 00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:46,930 I've only ever used Ohyeah. 506 00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:49,057 I'm-- I'm a virgin. 507 00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:50,767 Not for long. 508 00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:52,686 [both moan] 509 00:21:52,769 --> 00:21:56,982 Well, well, well! That last kick knocked my brain right into place. 510 00:21:57,065 --> 00:22:00,569 And now that I'm very intelligent, I know how to save the Earth. 511 00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:04,614 But first, I must show my big fat stomach finger to this horse. 512 00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:05,824 Hey, David, look at this-- 513 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:10,704 -Oh! Oh, my God. -[moaning] 514 00:22:10,787 --> 00:22:13,332 Lola, I love you so much! 515 00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:15,876 I think we should break up, Jay! 516 00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:17,711 -[Jay] Fuck! -[Lola] Oh! 517 00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:21,757 Okay, let's all die together... 518 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,091 as a family. 519 00:22:23,216 --> 00:22:24,468 Ooh, good call, Maury. 520 00:22:24,551 --> 00:22:27,763 Hey, guys, I'm gonna die upstairs in my room with the door locked. 521 00:22:27,846 --> 00:22:29,222 Bye-bye. Don't come in. [laughs] 522 00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:31,391 -Is he going to... -Like father, like son. 523 00:22:31,475 --> 00:22:33,310 -Should we? -You know it, baby. 524 00:22:33,393 --> 00:22:34,311 [both moan] 525 00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:43,820 [chuckles] Um... 526 00:22:43,904 --> 00:22:45,113 Is everything all right? 527 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:47,282 Yeah, sorry, just first time jitters. 528 00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:50,285 You know, the world just ended, so my head's a little all over the place. 529 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:52,412 But, hey, maybe we should take the pressure off? 530 00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:54,748 -Watch a little Earl or-- -Ugh, forget it! 531 00:22:54,831 --> 00:22:58,794 -Next time will be better, I promise. -[chuckles] Oh-ho, Nick. 532 00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:00,170 There won't be a next time. 533 00:23:00,253 --> 00:23:02,130 I don't understand. What are you talking about? 534 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:06,093 I was just stroking your pathetic ego to get on the ark 535 00:23:06,176 --> 00:23:10,263 so I can blow you and the rest of these rich dicks to hell. 536 00:23:10,347 --> 00:23:12,599 What about all the kissing stuff? What was that about? 537 00:23:12,682 --> 00:23:15,936 -I just wanted to get off one last time. -What? 538 00:23:16,019 --> 00:23:18,772 And who knows, if you'd fucked me right, we might have all lived. 539 00:23:18,855 --> 00:23:20,190 Oh, boy, that hurts my feelings. 540 00:23:20,273 --> 00:23:22,275 You won't tell your friends or anything, right? 541 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:23,443 -[chuckles] -Ciao, Nick. 542 00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:25,779 You're a bad person who can't fuck. 543 00:23:25,862 --> 00:23:28,115 -Oh, boy. -Now get ready to play... 544 00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:30,826 Countdown to Death! 545 00:23:30,909 --> 00:23:32,869 Oh, God. What do I do? What do I do? 546 00:23:32,953 --> 00:23:35,372 [Tito] Nick, you need to save yourself. 547 00:23:35,455 --> 00:23:37,124 Yes! Save myself! [grunts] 548 00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:40,377 Ugh! 549 00:23:43,547 --> 00:23:45,632 [Jessi] For the toilet people! 550 00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:52,180 There's no one left. 551 00:23:52,806 --> 00:23:53,723 I'm alone. 552 00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:54,975 I'm all alone. 553 00:23:55,684 --> 00:23:57,686 [Tito] You're not all alone, Nick... 554 00:23:57,769 --> 00:24:01,106 -[shudders] Who's there? Who are you? -It's me, silly. 555 00:24:01,189 --> 00:24:03,692 Oh, God, you're Tito, the Anxiety Mosquito. 556 00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:05,152 And you're Nick Birch. 557 00:24:05,235 --> 00:24:10,532 You're sitting on a bus right now, freaking the fuck out! 558 00:24:10,615 --> 00:24:13,952 -[gasps, panting] -[all] ♪ Happy birthday, Coach Steve... ♪ 559 00:24:14,035 --> 00:24:16,955 -Oh, thank God, it wasn't real. -Are you sure? 560 00:24:17,038 --> 00:24:20,709 -Felt pretty real to me. -[gasps] What the-- no! No, not you again! 561 00:24:20,792 --> 00:24:22,878 -That's right! -We're back! 562 00:24:22,961 --> 00:24:24,838 Oh, no! What am I gonna do? 563 00:24:24,921 --> 00:24:27,090 Yeah, what are you gonna do? 564 00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:28,967 Rick, what are you doing here? 565 00:24:29,050 --> 00:24:31,178 They brought me out of retirement. I'm back, baby! 566 00:24:31,261 --> 00:24:32,387 But we were back first! 567 00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:34,931 Nah, man. You're not back.  I'm back. You're a bug. 568 00:24:35,015 --> 00:24:36,808 You're my hormone monster again? 569 00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:38,727 Oh, fuck me! 570 00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:41,104 All right, man, but I heard you're bad at sex. 571 00:24:41,188 --> 00:24:42,939 -[screams] -["Changes" by Ozzy Osbourne plays] 572 00:24:43,023 --> 00:24:48,987 ♪ I'm going through changes ♪ 573 00:24:50,655 --> 00:24:57,537 ♪ I'm going through changes ♪ 574 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:27,943 [man laughs] "Good at Bizness." 575 00:25:28,026 --> 00:25:29,528 [kazoo plays] 576 00:25:30,028 --> 00:25:31,947 -[man] Chirp. -[man 2] Fathouse.