1
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‎NETFLIX 原創影集

2
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‎天啊，上一集發生在未來的劇情

3
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:13,346
‎真是誇張

4
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‎我們連露臉都沒有

5
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‎不知道這一集要演什麼

6
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‎這裡寫說是

7
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‎動手做的四個故事

8
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‎動手做？是指交和打手槍

9
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‎最好要有我們

10
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‎對，不然我就要跟馬克萊文說

11
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‎馬克萊文是誰？

12
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‎你知道的，就是主題曲結束後

13
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‎那四個製作人其中一個

14
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‎四個很多耶

15
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‎聽說他們是四人婚姻

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‎好萊塢真亂

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‎你看，馬克萊文耶

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‎三個老公其中一個

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‎（與杰使有約）

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‎不好意思

21
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‎妳是戴雯勒瑟文嗎？

22
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‎當然是啊，凱勒

23
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‎妳有傳票

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‎這是什麼東西？

25
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‎戴文要跟妳離婚

26
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‎因為你們之間存在

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‎無法和解的差異

28
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‎-無法和解
‎-凱勒

29
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‎她反應怎麼樣？

30
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‎她用右手拿

31
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‎天啊

32
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‎各位同學，我有不幸

33
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‎又非常讓人開心的事要說

34
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‎戴文要跟戴雯離婚

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‎悲哀到不行

36
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‎別人的婚姻家務事

37
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‎真的很難說

38
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‎看到一個朋友被合法甩掉

39
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‎真是太提神了

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‎怎麼回事？

41
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‎是因為戴雯都不聽戴文的話

42
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‎想把他變成完全不同的人嗎？

43
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‎小道消息是說戴文跟她離婚

44
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‎是因為她不願意跟他打手槍

45
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‎讓人好生氣

46
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‎真的假的？

47
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‎現在男生都要女生打手槍嗎？

48
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‎我們不舒服的事就不用做

49
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‎錯，我有一次跟我媽的男朋友

50
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‎在廚房討論過這件事

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‎晚上11點他在把能量飲料瓶

52
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‎裡面裝自來水

53
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‎-天啊
‎-不會吧

54
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‎-蘿娜
‎-不好意思

55
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‎他向我保證說

56
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‎要留住男人就要放開來

57
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‎-大姊，妳都搞錯了
‎-對啊

58
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‎真是好笑

59
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‎妳們兩個女同性戀

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‎懂什麼取悅男人？

61
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‎我只是說只關心男生很差勁

62
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‎我們女生呢？

63
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‎愛莉，說重點，我很忙的

64
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‎她是說指交的感覺超爽的

65
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‎沒錯

66
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‎蘿娜，取悅男人不是妳的工作

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‎取悅妳才是男人的工作

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‎我靠…

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‎你看完藝術休閒版再跟我說

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‎看完了，寶貝

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‎只是音樂劇比賓王子的影評

72
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‎他們不喜歡

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‎杰，親愛的，你有在追蹤

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‎這個雙戴夫妻的新聞嗎？

75
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‎有啊，超狂的新聞

76
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‎真的

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‎但這讓我想到…

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‎我們應該打手槍嗎？

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‎讓人家心癢癢

80
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‎但其實我心裡想到別的事

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‎在兩家熊貓快餐吃兩次晚餐？

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‎杰，不是啦

83
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‎我想要你用手指跟我打手槍

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‎妳是要我跟妳指交啊

85
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‎我完全能接受

86
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:31,044
‎但等等，我要先去剪指甲

87
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‎這是三人行動

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‎-好
‎-你弄痛我了

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‎天啊，走開啦

90
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‎剛才就應該問的

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‎幹嘛叫我們幫你剪指甲？

92
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‎沒什麼，我的…

93
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‎女人跟我約好要指交

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‎難道你不怕…

95
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‎不怕，我是終極做愛機器耶

96
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‎杰，你是幹枕頭

97
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‎但這是有真的鮑魚的女生耶

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‎我知道啊

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‎鮑魚就像外翻的雞雞

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‎比那還複雜吧？

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‎-我不信
‎-聽他的話

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‎抱歉，什麼意思？

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‎鮑魚在下面

104
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‎-不是，是直直指出來
‎-不是

105
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‎要是指下面

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‎鮑魚就會掉出來

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‎天啊，杰，你想太多了

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‎你們兩個女同性戀

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‎懂什麼取悅女生啊？

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‎我覺得女同性戀大概知道

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‎怎麼取悅女生

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‎算了，我要去找專家

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‎嗨，瓦爾，科特

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‎你們在忙嗎？

115
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‎對啊，我們要把烏龜抽出龜殼

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‎看起來好像很酷

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‎我只是想說應不應該…

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‎跟我女朋友指交

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‎娘

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‎超娘的

121
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‎但我要是想做的話

122
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‎你們有什麼建議嗎？

123
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‎你找對人了

124
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‎我們一起號稱指交過

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‎超過三千個女人

126
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‎所以首先

127
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‎要盡量伸進越多根手指越好

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‎-想也知道
‎-要伸到手肘深

129
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‎就像自動販賣機

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‎你買的芝多司沒掉下來

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‎要拼命伸手去拿

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‎她們喜歡嗎？

133
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,040
‎還需要一個招牌動作

134
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‎像我就是塞一粒鼻屎進去

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‎鼻屎

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‎那樣的話下次你跟她指交

137
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‎鼻屎還黏在裡面

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‎就知道她沒劈腿

139
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‎有道理

140
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‎謝謝你們

141
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‎你知道這是我們聊最久的一次嗎？

142
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‎去死啦

143
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‎這一拳值得

144
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‎所謂打者愛也

145
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‎杰，重點戲來了

146
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‎-天啊
‎-準備好了嗎？

147
00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:19,110
‎整個都準備好了

148
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‎寶貝，我會讓那隻鮑魚爽翻

149
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‎沒錯

150
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‎妳的叫聲

151
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,700
‎會比網路電台音樂節還大聲

152
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‎天啊，妳好濕

153
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:29,704
‎那是我的肚臍啦

154
00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:30,955
‎裡面滿滿的乳液

155
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‎抱歉

156
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,167
‎沒關係，那樣是有用處的

157
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,711
‎-好
‎-現在這個

158
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:38,504
‎這個一定是鮑魚

159
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,882
‎不是的話我大概會瘋掉

160
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:43,051
‎杰，那你不用再擔心

161
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:46,054
‎因為你已經進入我的王國

162
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:49,265
‎幹，是，我的皇后

163
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‎讓我們進去吧

164
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‎好

165
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‎多幾根手指

166
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‎裡面有點擠

167
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‎-寶貝
‎-手肘深

168
00:05:57,231 --> 00:05:59,609
‎你的手指鑽得有點太深了

169
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,527
‎-好
‎-不要催油了

170
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,571
‎我要拿到自動販賣機的洋芋片

171
00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:05,698
‎-很好，只是…
‎-這個東西吃掉我的錢

172
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:06,949
‎感覺不舒服…

173
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:07,909
‎住手

174
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:09,243
‎怎麼了？妳有高潮嗎？

175
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:10,411
‎-沒有
‎-妳確定？

176
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:11,788
‎杰，你在幹嘛？

177
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,289
‎感覺不太舒服

178
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,208
‎妳是說我不會指交嗎？

179
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,667
‎不是，是你說的

180
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:19,712
‎但我百分之百同意你的話

181
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:22,382
‎-說不定是妳不會被指交
‎-什麼？

182
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,008
‎我問過很多男生要怎麼指交

183
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:25,551
‎但你都沒問過任何女生

184
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,303
‎尤其是我

185
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,847
‎我的鮑魚剛被你毀了

186
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:32,225
‎還不是照我要的方式

187
00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:34,644
‎我幹嘛要問妳自己的身體？

188
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,354
‎妳知道那聽起來有多扯嗎？

189
00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:38,940
‎總比你剛對我之前的愛愛洞

190
00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:39,982
‎做的事要好

191
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,859
‎但我要是問妳怎麼做

192
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,946
‎妳就會知道我根本不會指交

193
00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:46,406
‎但杰，沒關係

194
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,658
‎你何不就讓我帶領你

195
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,326
‎讓你看我喜歡的方式？

196
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,203
‎靠，好啊

197
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,539
‎教我妳王國的方式

198
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:57,083
‎杰吉拉，我的榮幸

199
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,876
‎要開始了

200
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,796
‎我要直接猛推進去

201
00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:03,381
‎不是，要溫柔點

202
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:04,298
‎好吧

203
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:07,343
‎現在試試摩擦外面？

204
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,386
‎-好
‎-像這樣？

205
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,596
‎對，但稍微用力一點

206
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,056
‎-像這樣？
‎-就像這樣

207
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,057
‎我要進去

208
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,058
‎-冷靜
‎-好

209
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,810
‎慢慢進去，好嗎？

210
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:16,853
‎妳喜歡這樣嗎？

211
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,438
‎-對
‎-現在要一路進到底嗎？

212
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,231
‎不要，出來

213
00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:21,607
‎-好
‎-進去

214
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:22,942
‎-真的？
‎-出來

215
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:24,318
‎-好
‎-慢一點

216
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:25,236
‎好啦

217
00:07:25,319 --> 00:07:27,488
‎其實最重要的部分在上面

218
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,282
‎-是那個…
‎-對，杰

219
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:31,701
‎-好
‎-那就是我的陰蒂

220
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:34,871
‎厲害，那些弓箭手是誰？

221
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,290
‎那些是我的陰毛聖約瑟夫騎士

222
00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:38,541
‎他們發誓要保護我

223
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:40,960
‎杰吉拉，你做得很好

224
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:42,628
‎-謝謝你們
‎-回到那個鐘

225
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:43,546
‎好

226
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,006
‎要我用力捏嗎？

227
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:46,716
‎-杰，不要捏，要撫摸鐘
‎-好

228
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,426
‎-前後撫摸鐘
‎-好

229
00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:49,552
‎-很好，繼續摸
‎-好

230
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:50,803
‎你能畫小圈圈嗎？

231
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,138
‎快一點，再快一點

232
00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:53,973
‎-好耶
‎-天啊

233
00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,766
‎我的腿伸直了

234
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:56,809
‎哈利路亞

235
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,644
‎謝謝你這隻大蜥蜴

236
00:07:58,728 --> 00:07:59,854
‎結束我們的乾旱

237
00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:02,398
‎能侍奉這個小皇后的鮑魚王國

238
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,358
‎是最尊貴的榮幸

239
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,526
‎杰

240
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,778
‎你剛真的讓我高潮

241
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:08,696
‎是啊

242
00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:11,157
‎我真的是終極做愛機器吧

243
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,408
‎才不是，杰

244
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,994
‎你是終極聽話機器

245
00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:17,538
‎原來，靠

246
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:20,333
‎杰吉拉，容我回報你

247
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:21,667
‎寶貝，謝謝妳的提議

248
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,836
‎但我剛在跟妳指交時

249
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,796
‎牛仔褲裡面整個濕掉

250
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:27,798
‎四層外加底漆

251
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:30,801
‎杰，害人家都不好意思了

252
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:33,929
‎我超崇拜妳

253
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:36,097
‎我也崇拜你，指交國王

254
00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:43,438
‎離婚讓我受到很大的打擊

255
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,191
‎請尊重我的隱私

256
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:46,692
‎我會整天直播

257
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:49,737
‎任何網友的問題我都會回答

258
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,197
‎主題標籤：戴雯的隱私

259
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,615
‎那個可憐的女孩

260
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:53,783
‎老天保佑她

261
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,451
‎希望離婚不是因為

262
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,370
‎她那頭便便色的頭髮

263
00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:59,580
‎她一定不知道要梳還是要沖

264
00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,666
‎馬修，你真好笑

265
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:04,126
‎但離婚不是笑話

266
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,170
‎妳知道他們是小孩吧？

267
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,630
‎違背誓言的小孩

268
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:08,631
‎妳看，我們到了

269
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,258
‎愛你，小可愛

270
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:13,511
‎多元宗教委員會開會愉快

271
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:14,887
‎多元宗教委員會開會？

272
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,431
‎不是要去艾登家找他朋友嗎？

273
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:20,059
‎跟男生混在一起

274
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:21,143
‎沒錯

275
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,812
‎那幹嘛不叫她送我們到那裡？

276
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,689
‎我不是在抱怨，我需要運動

277
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:26,857
‎我和我媽說好這個約定

278
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,402
‎我們都不會提我是同性戀的事

279
00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:32,071
‎還有親愛的，你不需要運動

280
00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:33,030
‎你身材好得很

281
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,448
‎才怪，真的嗎？

282
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,450
‎因為我感覺很胖

283
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:39,495
‎懶趴311，因為

284
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,038
‎我有腕隧道症候群

285
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:42,623
‎我要是跟他打手槍

286
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,375
‎我的手腕就會碎掉

287
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:47,211
‎這個女生的爛藉口好膚淺

288
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,380
‎真的，親愛的，吃一顆過敏藥

289
00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:51,465
‎再猛打那根雞雞就好

290
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,384
‎也沒什麼事

291
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:55,219
‎她的頭髮很有事

292
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,888
‎是我想太多還是她有鬆餅瀏海？

293
00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,140
‎艾登，你應該留住他

294
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:00,182
‎女人，成熟點

295
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,601
‎只是打手槍而已

296
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,060
‎你知道直人那副德性

297
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:04,895
‎-假正經
‎-對，很假正經

298
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:06,814
‎我的同性戀朋友都有打手槍

299
00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:08,774
‎但你和艾登沒有啊

300
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,526
‎天啊，我們要嗎？

301
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,652
‎他剛捏你的手

302
00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:12,570
‎什麼意思？

303
00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:13,696
‎還不明顯嗎？

304
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:15,823
‎他想要你抓住他的小雞雞

305
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:17,783
‎跟他的小雞雞玩拔河

306
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,201
‎-真的…
‎-在你問之前

307
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,412
‎不可能還有別的意思

308
00:10:21,495 --> 00:10:22,663
‎小莫，不好吧

309
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,498
‎我還沒準備好跟艾登打手槍

310
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:27,168
‎沒差，他能幫你打手槍

311
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:28,377
‎我一點都不想做呢？

312
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,462
‎一定要做

313
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:30,504
‎是嗎？為什麼？

314
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:33,591
‎因為你同性戀祖先們的犧牲

315
00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:35,176
‎你沒看過我演的那集

316
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:36,093
‎歷史精大黨嗎？

317
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,178
‎你是說歷史醉大黨？

318
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,221
‎不是，是歷史精大黨

319
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,349
‎我喝著一杯自己的精液

320
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:43,559
‎然後說著過去的故事

321
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,686
‎反正我拿手機給你看

322
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:47,855
‎抱歉手機掉在廁所螢幕碎掉

323
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,775
‎媽呀，這杯好烈

324
00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:51,984
‎剛說到哪？

325
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,736
‎所以在聖經那個年代

326
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:55,863
‎先知亞伯拉罕說…

327
00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:57,740
‎我是亞伯拉罕

328
00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,159
‎上帝說是亞當和夏娃

329
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,494
‎不是恰吉和賴瑞

330
00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:02,536
‎隨便，你懂我意思

331
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:04,622
‎靠，我醉了

332
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:06,874
‎不要吵醒那個小孩

333
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:08,000
‎剛說到哪？

334
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,502
‎-聖經
‎-對，聖經

335
00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:12,672
‎那快轉個一億年

336
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:16,384
‎當同性戀還是會讓你惹上麻煩

337
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:19,387
‎比方說這傢伙奧斯卡王爾德

338
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:22,139
‎他喜歡男生就被關進大牢

339
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,432
‎他就說…

340
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,601
‎這樣很不酷

341
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,311
‎我要是被關在這裡

342
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:30,147
‎就寫不出《舞動人生》了

343
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:32,692
‎精液越來越濃了嗎？

344
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:35,361
‎所以同性戀被關進大牢

345
00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,530
‎但後來在1969年

346
00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:38,698
‎性感的一年…

347
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:40,908
‎酷兒都要去聲援石牆暴動

348
00:11:40,991 --> 00:11:44,120
‎瑪莎詹森丟出第一塊磚頭

349
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,663
‎開丟

350
00:11:45,746 --> 00:11:48,999
‎然後開始修改法律，現在才有

351
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:50,167
‎同志大遊行

352
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:51,252
‎變裝比賽

353
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:52,753
‎同性婚姻

354
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,172
‎同性戀隨你想在哪幹就幹

355
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:58,008
‎那就是第一個感恩節的故事

356
00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:01,178
‎所以你是說小男同性戀…

357
00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:02,763
‎超性感，我超愛的

358
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:03,723
‎謝謝

359
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,433
‎多做性行為是我的責任嗎？

360
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:09,186
‎對，這是慶祝你的性解放

361
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,813
‎我剛想到了

362
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,440
‎我們去幫艾登打手槍吧！

363
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:13,399
‎好吧

364
00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:16,360
‎拜託，說得像你想手握雞雞

365
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:17,820
‎很好，雞雞我來了

366
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:20,781
‎-嗨
‎-上樓，女人

367
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:22,700
‎天啊，你在做什麼？

368
00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:23,659
‎褲子脫掉

369
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,578
‎我要用手搓你的雞雞

370
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:28,122
‎-什麼？
‎-現在吐口水在地毯再笑

371
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:30,040
‎寶貝，搞什麼？

372
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,250
‎你嚇到我了，住手

373
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:32,501
‎沒人說過這會開心

374
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,378
‎當然要開心，不然幹嘛做？

375
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,422
‎誰曉得，因為我們是同性戀

376
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,132
‎我們引起石牆暴動

377
00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:39,717
‎那是我們的責任吧？

378
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,635
‎你到底在說什麼東西？

379
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,721
‎你的朋友說我們一定要打手槍

380
00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:45,181
‎我不想就是假正經

381
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,600
‎我的朋友沒一個正經的

382
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,143
‎柏德瑞克連男生都沒親過

383
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:51,812
‎況且打手槍要兩個人都想做

384
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:52,730
‎才會開心

385
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:53,981
‎所以能以後再做？

386
00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:54,899
‎當然了

387
00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:56,442
‎你們不要有壓力

388
00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:59,361
‎在月曆上選個六個月後的日子

389
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,197
‎要是到時你還沒準備好

390
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,323
‎我就會自殺

391
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,450
‎我們還能親熱嗎？

392
00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:06,076
‎好啊，親熱完後

393
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,953
‎來清理你剛吐口水的地毯

394
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,415
‎馬修，抱歉，我知道你在忙

395
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:14,084
‎我能借用“手搓你的雞雞”嗎？

396
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,294
‎我想把那句當作

397
00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:17,379
‎我的畢業紀念冊留言

398
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,591
‎天啊，他很性感吧？

399
00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:23,010
‎傳給他一個茄子和酪梨表情符號

400
00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:25,179
‎說很想吃你的雞梨醬

401
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:26,263
‎或是…

402
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,432
‎我能回傳他一張裸上身的照片

403
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:32,186
‎恨不得跟你打手槍那天快來

404
00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:35,231
‎現在要沖澡45分鐘嗎？

405
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:38,025
‎去把那根臭排水管堵死吧

406
00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:43,948
‎天啊

407
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,952
‎我的老天爺啊

408
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:50,412
‎金柏莉，播妳喜歡的那個廣告了

409
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,455
‎有芙洛的那個

410
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,582
‎那個芙洛啊，來了

411
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,086
‎馬上就來

412
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,462
‎天啊

413
00:13:58,546 --> 00:13:59,630
‎（高博曼法）

414
00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:00,631
‎（戴雯開直播）

415
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:03,050
‎姊妹們，我決定要走

416
00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:05,636
‎適合我的女性主義路線

417
00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,888
‎只要我沒碰任何雞雞

418
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,974
‎我呼籲所有的姊妹

419
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,101
‎一起抵制小雞雞

420
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:13,435
‎那句口號不太對吧

421
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,563
‎尼克，應該是抵制小雞雞

422
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,147
‎還是小雞雞抵制？

423
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:19,108
‎誰理你？世界快要末日了

424
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:21,110
‎沒錯，你親眼看到的

425
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,069
‎就在潔西說

426
00:14:22,152 --> 00:14:25,030
‎你是幹不起來的壞人之後

427
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,157
‎尼克，怎麼了？

428
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:28,367
‎你看起來很焦慮

429
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,702
‎跟潔西吵完那架後

430
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:31,245
‎我做了一個很怪的夢

431
00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:32,538
‎現在整個人很亂

432
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:35,332
‎要是你有手的話

433
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:39,003
‎可以試試自我療癒？

434
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:40,629
‎那個啊

435
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,756
‎那個我不太會，不好吧

436
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:43,883
‎你要練習

437
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,176
‎寶貝，拿張紙刺激一下雞雞

438
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:47,344
‎算了吧

439
00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:49,430
‎尼克，這也沒什麼

440
00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:51,056
‎容我向你介紹…

441
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,808
‎高博曼法

442
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:53,851
‎高博曼法？

443
00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:57,271
‎這支精緻的舞只有17步

444
00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:58,606
‎17步？

445
00:14:58,772 --> 00:14:59,607
‎看好

446
00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:01,609
‎上鎖

447
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:02,985
‎關燈

448
00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:04,904
‎下音樂

449
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,280
‎放下窗簾

450
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:08,866
‎蓋下大都會球隊

451
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:10,534
‎蓋下爸媽

452
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:15,205
‎露露檸檬孕婦裝目錄

453
00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:17,958
‎再檢查鎖

454
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,294
‎一張面紙，兩張、三張、四張

455
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:22,463
‎乳液，擠擠擠三次

456
00:15:22,546 --> 00:15:24,131
‎-屁屁
‎-天啊

457
00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:26,050
‎再檢查一次鎖

458
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:27,718
‎抱歉，鎖要檢查三次嗎？

459
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:29,428
‎尼克，被你打斷了啦

460
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:30,638
‎現在我要重來了

461
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,890
‎各位，從頭開始

462
00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:35,643
‎-就定位
‎-不用，我不要再看了

463
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:37,478
‎還有安德魯，褲子能穿上了

464
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,188
‎你不要試試高博曼法嗎？

465
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,105
‎天啊，不要

466
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:41,857
‎你每次打手槍都那樣做嗎？

467
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,068
‎當然了，你怎麼那樣問？

468
00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:46,737
‎只是看起來有一點…

469
00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:48,572
‎走火入魔

470
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,282
‎我哪有走火入魔

471
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:51,951
‎我只是知道

472
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:54,954
‎只要我沒照這個方法做

473
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:55,871
‎就算一丁點

474
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,498
‎都會發生可怕的事

475
00:15:57,581 --> 00:16:00,376
‎聽起來像變態打手槍的方法

476
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:03,003
‎拜託，變態會寫日記

477
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,631
‎記錄每次射精的重量和顏色嗎？

478
00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:07,841
‎等等，要是我沒阻止你

479
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:10,010
‎你要在我面前射嗎？

480
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:11,178
‎是的

481
00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:14,473
‎還記得尼克說過的話嗎？

482
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:16,809
‎說方法怪又煩，你走火入魔？

483
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:18,560
‎對，你覺得怎樣？

484
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,230
‎我很不想認同那個小香腸嘴

485
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:24,233
‎-但我對那個方法是有意見
‎-真的？

486
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:27,403
‎打手槍應該是自然開心的

487
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:28,612
‎就像一台摩托車

488
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,823
‎在比基尼女郎面前爆炸一樣

489
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:32,157
‎天啊，好有畫面

490
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:33,534
‎但那個方法真的有用

491
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:34,910
‎拜託，你是男人

492
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,036
‎你想要打手槍

493
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,830
‎就應該抓起你的小肉棒

494
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:39,164
‎直接做起來，寶貝

495
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,124
‎你說得對

496
00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:41,625
‎最壞會發生什麼事？

497
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:45,838
‎嗨，你有大水管讓我涼快嗎？

498
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:48,048
‎水管有大噴嘴

499
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:50,259
‎你的堂妹雪柔出現了

500
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,136
‎喂，我是安德魯的堂妹

501
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:53,595
‎我們的爺爺是同一個

502
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,515
‎這點燃我的慾火，快滾

503
00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:59,268
‎是嗎？那來喇舌啊，臭女人

504
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,353
‎天啊，她們要舌戰

505
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:02,396
‎我的老天

506
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:04,732
‎那樣才像話

507
00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:07,358
‎你房間的門打得超開

508
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:10,738
‎都能聞到你媽在樓下煮的湯

509
00:17:10,820 --> 00:17:11,989
‎小莫，你說得對

510
00:17:12,071 --> 00:17:13,031
‎直接做起來

511
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,451
‎還有這麼多時間要做什麼？

512
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:16,535
‎再打手槍

513
00:17:16,617 --> 00:17:18,494
‎這次在窗戶前面做

514
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,455
‎學那個路易做給鄰居看

515
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,082
‎不要那樣說

516
00:17:22,165 --> 00:17:23,751
‎什麼？不會吧

517
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:26,252
‎-你在開我玩笑吧
‎-什麼？

518
00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:27,421
‎馬諦，怎麼了？

519
00:17:27,503 --> 00:17:28,338
‎史基打來說

520
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,382
‎我爸剛倒地死了

521
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,468
‎-爺爺？
‎-你爺爺剛死了？

522
00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:33,427
‎怎麼回事？

523
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:34,344
‎他們不知道

524
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:36,013
‎他的心臟突然就停了

525
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:40,267
‎天啊，就在我沒照高博曼法做…

526
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:42,603
‎小莫，你不覺得…

527
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:43,979
‎是你害死爺爺嗎？

528
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,148
‎因為你亂打手槍？

529
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:47,649
‎沒戴帽子也沒跳舞？

530
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,359
‎小莫，是真的吧？

531
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,904
‎都是我的錯，我害死爺爺

532
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:55,949
‎我就說他亂高潮就會亂事

533
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:58,827
‎-你說的剛好相反
‎-殺人犯說什麼

534
00:17:58,911 --> 00:17:59,745
‎-什麼？
‎-沒錯

535
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:02,539
‎天啊

536
00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:07,961
‎（藍蛋蛋）

537
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:09,922
‎你要是今天有看手機

538
00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:12,132
‎一定會注意到主題標籤

539
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:14,176
‎抵制小雞雞

540
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:15,427
‎嗨，我是蓋兒金

541
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:17,554
‎我旁邊的這位年輕女性

542
00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:19,765
‎就是發起人，戴雯勒瑟文

543
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:23,060
‎蓋兒，事情要從我老公戴文

544
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:24,144
‎跟我離婚說起

545
00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:26,271
‎因為我不願意跟他打手槍

546
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:29,108
‎請問妳老公也是小孩嗎？

547
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:31,235
‎我希望答案是肯定的

548
00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:33,529
‎米開朗基羅好性感

549
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:35,489
‎吻功超厲害的

550
00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:36,573
‎妳根本不關心

551
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,617
‎妳那個老同學上電視吧？

552
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:43,080
‎我們自我價值和快樂都靠他吧

553
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:44,706
‎我不喜歡那樣

554
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,291
‎但我喜歡喇舌

555
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:48,710
‎沒事的

556
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,087
‎寶貝，怎麼了？

557
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:53,382
‎沒什麼，只是…

558
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:54,424
‎藍蛋蛋而已

559
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,552
‎天啊，很抱歉

560
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:57,594
‎我做錯什麼嗎？

561
00:18:57,678 --> 00:19:00,806
‎妳讓我興奮，但後來我…

562
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:02,474
‎憋太久？

563
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:03,725
‎對，憋太久

564
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,103
‎現在我只是脹得很痛

565
00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:08,438
‎-天啊，很痛嗎？
‎-是啊

566
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:10,357
‎聽到沒？妳弄痛他了

567
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,358
‎是嗎？

568
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,610
‎真的有藍蛋蛋那種東西嗎？

569
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:16,238
‎我聽過，大家都在說藍蛋蛋

570
00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:17,322
‎只是不太清楚意思

571
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:18,407
‎沒關係

572
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:20,701
‎只是蛋蛋脹得很痛

573
00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:22,870
‎-痛到連胃都抽筋
‎-天啊

574
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:26,039
‎潔西，妳能想像胃痛到抽筋嗎？

575
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,708
‎當然可以

576
00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:30,002
‎棉條應該政府買單才對

577
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:31,295
‎妳最好想點辦法

578
00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:32,546
‎處理那兩粒藍蛋蛋

579
00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:33,839
‎免得被他甩掉

580
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,633
‎很抱歉

581
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:38,302
‎該怎麼辦才好？

582
00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:39,928
‎-聽好…
‎-要去掛急診嗎？

583
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,181
‎可以試試一個方法…

584
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,641
‎還是算了，妳大概不要

585
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:45,809
‎不會，什麼方法？

586
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:47,060
‎說吧，說不定我要

587
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:48,645
‎妳真的想幫忙的話…

588
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:49,563
‎我很想

589
00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:52,107
‎妳可以幫我打手槍？

590
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:55,444
‎打手槍啊

591
00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:57,446
‎好吧，那…

592
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,656
‎沒想到那個忙還真大

593
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:02,576
‎事情有點…大條

594
00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:03,827
‎那妳要嗎？

595
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:04,745
‎乾脆要吧

596
00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:07,497
‎他是九年級生，期待這種事

597
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,082
‎靠，要不要？我不知道

598
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:12,336
‎我是很想現在做，但…

599
00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:13,545
‎我要去投票

600
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:16,173
‎這是州選舉，我要去投票

601
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:18,133
‎-好吧
‎-但今天晚上

602
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,302
‎我會回來，我們要玩…

603
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:23,597
‎-對
‎-我會溫柔的摸那根

604
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:24,932
‎-很好
‎-等我喔

605
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,433
‎-好
‎-我會回來

606
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:30,771
‎等一下，要是藍蛋蛋那麼痛

607
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:32,439
‎他幹嘛不自己打手槍啊？

608
00:20:32,522 --> 00:20:34,775
‎-對耶
‎-因為他要妳做

609
00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:35,817
‎妳是他的女朋友

610
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:36,818
‎那是妳的工作

611
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,654
‎打手槍是妳的工作

612
00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:41,615
‎妳不做的話別人會做

613
00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:42,574
‎真的嗎？

614
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:43,867
‎我是很想做啦

615
00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:46,370
‎但我只是一隻憂鬱的肥貓

616
00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:48,288
‎我只是覺得米開朗基羅

617
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,999
‎這個藍蛋蛋說得太誇張了

618
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,292
‎但要是不是呢？

619
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:53,502
‎要是蛋蛋很痛呢？

620
00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:54,503
‎要是蛋蛋破掉呢？

621
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:55,545
‎要是他猝死呢？

622
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:58,006
‎下一站是藍蛋蛋病房

623
00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:58,924
‎什麼？

624
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:03,220
‎讓開，這些藍蛋蛋快爆掉了

625
00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:04,263
‎我不想死

626
00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:06,265
‎我已經懷了小孩

627
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,141
‎潔西，真有這種地方？

628
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:09,351
‎很遺憾，是的

629
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:11,895
‎這是男童醫院的藍蛋蛋病房

630
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:14,398
‎他們居然有藍蛋蛋病房？

631
00:21:14,481 --> 00:21:15,941
‎那些免費的棉條在哪？

632
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:17,776
‎妳不跟米開朗基羅打手槍

633
00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:19,111
‎他的蛋蛋就被送來這裡

634
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:20,946
‎潔西，妳為什麼討厭我們？

635
00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:22,155
‎妳為什麼不救他們？

636
00:21:22,239 --> 00:21:24,866
‎你只是一隻大手掌

637
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,034
‎你為什麼不救他們？

638
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,077
‎因為我是醫生

639
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,036
‎不是他的女朋友

640
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,539
‎潔西，謝謝妳的冷漠

641
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,085
‎我要宣布死亡了

642
00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:36,920
‎死因是潔西格拉瑟

643
00:21:37,587 --> 00:21:39,047
‎靠

644
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,007
‎我靠

645
00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:41,800
‎我的頭髮才剛吹好

646
00:21:41,883 --> 00:21:43,885
‎現在我感覺像個白痴

647
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:46,555
‎我要去跟馬克萊文抱怨

648
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:50,684
‎所以藍蛋蛋真的好像很嚴重

649
00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:53,270
‎看來只要妳跟他打手槍

650
00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:54,604
‎事情就會簡單很多

651
00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:55,522
‎妳說得對

652
00:21:55,605 --> 00:21:56,815
‎他還沒死的話

653
00:21:56,898 --> 00:21:57,774
‎我們做得到

654
00:21:57,858 --> 00:22:00,569
‎只要拉拉、打打和扭扭

655
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:02,321
‎弄到黏液流出來就好

656
00:22:02,404 --> 00:22:04,531
‎黏液是會流出來

657
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,870
‎寶貝，現在要替那根香菇擠奶了

658
00:22:09,953 --> 00:22:11,913
‎真是提不起勁來

659
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,540
‎現在後悔太遲了

660
00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:15,083
‎妳答應過他的

661
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,836
‎只要放空，搓他的香腸

662
00:22:17,919 --> 00:22:19,171
‎心裡想午餐就好

663
00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:20,255
‎-嗨
‎-嗨

664
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:22,132
‎米開朗基羅，我…

665
00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:25,302
‎準備好做我們說好的那件事

666
00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:27,179
‎妳想幫我打手槍嗎？

667
00:22:27,262 --> 00:22:29,931
‎對，我很想做

668
00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:32,934
‎靠，妳就是想做

669
00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:34,102
‎-對
‎-來吧

670
00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:37,230
‎好的，出現了

671
00:22:37,314 --> 00:22:39,232
‎天啊，是雞雞耶

672
00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:41,318
‎妳好，妳一定是潔西

673
00:22:41,401 --> 00:22:42,277
‎我是雞雞

674
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:44,154
‎你是活生生的雞雞

675
00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:45,906
‎這個字很有趣吧？

676
00:22:45,989 --> 00:22:47,282
‎跟我一起說雞雞

677
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:48,200
‎雞雞

678
00:22:48,283 --> 00:22:49,785
‎-雞雞
‎-雞雞

679
00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:51,536
‎真的是很有趣的字

680
00:22:51,620 --> 00:22:55,457
‎沒錯，他長得也很好笑，天啊

681
00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:57,125
‎有人會說醜東西

682
00:22:57,793 --> 00:22:59,378
‎你跟我想的不一樣

683
00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:01,129
‎是啊，因為他是英國人

684
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:02,589
‎我是長島人

685
00:23:02,672 --> 00:23:04,299
‎潔西，把我拉下來

686
00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:06,051
‎看我再彈起來

687
00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:07,177
‎-舒服
‎-彈

688
00:23:08,011 --> 00:23:09,513
‎那個蠢東西彈起來了

689
00:23:09,596 --> 00:23:10,972
‎蠢到不行

690
00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:12,766
‎我喜歡笑這個東西

691
00:23:12,849 --> 00:23:14,810
‎潔西，我的雞雞什麼這麼好笑？

692
00:23:14,893 --> 00:23:17,020
‎抱歉，我…

693
00:23:17,104 --> 00:23:18,188
‎只是緊張而已

694
00:23:18,271 --> 00:23:20,440
‎你的雞雞是長島人，很抱歉

695
00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:21,650
‎就是牡蠣灣

696
00:23:22,275 --> 00:23:23,735
‎-天啊
‎-搞什麼？

697
00:23:23,819 --> 00:23:25,737
‎不要笑了，他快生氣了

698
00:23:25,821 --> 00:23:27,697
‎天啊，這顯然是個錯誤

699
00:23:27,781 --> 00:23:29,741
‎什麼？不是的，抱歉

700
00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:31,785
‎-我不是故意…
‎-妳胸部那麼小我都沒笑

701
00:23:31,868 --> 00:23:33,370
‎靠，不會吧

702
00:23:33,453 --> 00:23:35,747
‎潔西，用牙齒扯斷他脖子

703
00:23:36,498 --> 00:23:37,749
‎說句話啊

704
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:38,708
‎我…

705
00:23:39,543 --> 00:23:42,921
‎我的胸部雖然很小，但…

706
00:23:43,004 --> 00:23:44,256
‎犀利的來了

707
00:23:44,339 --> 00:23:48,677
‎今天晚上我要回家

708
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,388
‎潔西，妳就這點威力？

709
00:23:51,471 --> 00:23:53,557
‎是嗎？那就不要回來了

710
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,142
‎妳是個愛笑雞雞的幼稚鬼

711
00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:56,059
‎我要跟妳分手

712
00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:57,227
‎什麼？

713
00:23:57,310 --> 00:23:59,062
‎現在我不送了

714
00:23:59,146 --> 00:24:01,565
‎我要去自己解決

715
00:24:01,648 --> 00:24:04,401
‎看吧，他幹嘛不一開始就自己來？

716
00:24:06,027 --> 00:24:06,862
‎妳被甩了

717
00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:08,196
‎他不要妳

718
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,489
‎沒有人要妳

719
00:24:09,573 --> 00:24:10,407
‎潔西，親愛的

720
00:24:10,490 --> 00:24:12,617
‎有一部洛蕾娜波比特的紀錄片

721
00:24:12,701 --> 00:24:14,411
‎有些切斷命根子的好點子

722
00:24:14,494 --> 00:24:15,328
‎潔西

723
00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:16,997
‎-請妳解釋這封信
‎-媽

724
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,124
‎學校說妳曠課一個禮拜了？

725
00:24:19,207 --> 00:24:20,709
‎不要理她

726
00:24:20,792 --> 00:24:22,461
‎把毛毯拉起來蓋住頭就好

727
00:24:22,919 --> 00:24:24,588
‎也許妳應該跟她聊聊

728
00:24:24,671 --> 00:24:27,215
‎要是有人懂不想摸雞雞的心情

729
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:28,508
‎一定就是莎倫

730
00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:30,594
‎妳跟她說妳秘密男朋友的事

731
00:24:30,677 --> 00:24:32,804
‎她最好會很懂妳的心情

732
00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:34,598
‎妳會有更多麻煩才是

733
00:24:34,681 --> 00:24:36,183
‎潔西，妳怎麼了？

734
00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:39,060
‎我不想說，不要煩我

735
00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:41,480
‎我對妳真的很失望

736
00:24:42,772 --> 00:24:44,065
‎妳好孤單

737
00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:45,358
‎但妳有我們

738
00:24:45,442 --> 00:24:47,986
‎對，妳還有我們

739
00:24:49,070 --> 00:24:52,199
‎放心，我就坐在地上繼續追劇

740
00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:54,034
‎大家好，我是戴文

741
00:24:54,117 --> 00:24:56,203
‎戴雯一直在網路上亂說話

742
00:24:56,286 --> 00:24:57,913
‎我要說出實情

743
00:24:57,996 --> 00:24:59,080
‎我跟她離婚不是因為

744
00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:00,499
‎她不願意跟我打手槍

745
00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:02,667
‎雖然她說她願意

746
00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:04,461
‎我是因為她很壞才離婚的

747
00:25:04,544 --> 00:25:06,755
‎我討厭她是個壞女人

748
00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:07,964
‎現在我是單身

749
00:25:08,048 --> 00:25:10,300
‎要是有人想跟我打手槍

750
00:25:10,383 --> 00:25:12,469
‎快傳訊息給我，朋友

751
00:25:12,928 --> 00:25:14,429
‎但請對我溫柔一點

752
00:25:16,264 --> 00:25:17,432
‎這集滿好看的

753
00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:19,643
‎特別又不會太特別，我喜歡

754
00:25:19,726 --> 00:25:23,146
‎說真的，那些打手槍戲讓我康妮

755
00:25:23,271 --> 00:25:24,814
‎有點興奮起來

756
00:25:24,898 --> 00:25:27,359
‎要來打一下手槍嗎？

757
00:25:28,109 --> 00:25:30,695
‎真的？安德魯在床上睡覺耶

758
00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:32,239
‎這小子再吵都吵不醒

759
00:25:32,322 --> 00:25:34,741
‎那倒是，我們能假裝他死了

760
00:25:36,743 --> 00:25:37,953
‎你的手放下來

761
00:25:38,036 --> 00:25:38,870
‎妳喜歡？

762
00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:40,330
‎再下去，一路摸到底

763
00:25:40,413 --> 00:25:41,665
‎-這邊嗎？
‎-就是那裡

764
00:25:41,748 --> 00:25:43,833
‎-好爽
‎-哈利路亞

765
00:26:33,883 --> 00:26:35,885
‎字幕翻譯：李儀