1 00:00:02,245 --> 00:00:05,623 (light string music playing) 2 00:00:08,543 --> 00:00:10,879 (person groaning) 3 00:00:10,879 --> 00:00:13,965 Speaker: I used to think my legacy lay in the arts. 4 00:00:15,467 --> 00:00:18,511 In music, to be precise. 5 00:00:18,511 --> 00:00:22,015 My brother? Ugh, he was a prodigy on the violin. 6 00:00:22,599 --> 00:00:24,809 Everything came easily to him. 7 00:00:24,809 --> 00:00:28,646 Me? I had to work at things. 8 00:00:28,646 --> 00:00:31,107 (gasps) Did you hear that? 9 00:00:31,107 --> 00:00:32,358 Just the tiniest little bit of fourth finger vibrato. 10 00:00:32,734 --> 00:00:35,445 What do you want from me? 11 00:00:35,445 --> 00:00:39,741 "Blackbeard Breaks Ned Low's Record." 12 00:00:42,744 --> 00:00:43,495 (whispers) I'm Ned. 13 00:00:43,495 --> 00:00:45,997 I told you... 14 00:00:45,997 --> 00:00:48,166 I haven't seen Blackbeard's ship. 15 00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:51,377 (screams) 16 00:00:52,712 --> 00:00:55,632 I never did become a renowned violinist. 17 00:00:56,925 --> 00:01:01,846 My record... that was my legacy. 18 00:01:03,223 --> 00:01:07,644 Eighty-eight consecutive raids at sea. 19 00:01:08,895 --> 00:01:09,521 (whispers) And he took that from me. 20 00:01:09,521 --> 00:01:11,189 He took it. 21 00:01:13,566 --> 00:01:15,860 I don't know where Blackbeard is. 22 00:01:16,611 --> 00:01:20,990 No, no, no, no, no. I-I've been tracking him for ages. 23 00:01:20,990 --> 00:01:23,368 I know exactly where he is. 24 00:01:23,368 --> 00:01:27,163 - Why are you doing this? - (whispers) Because, my love... 25 00:01:27,163 --> 00:01:29,040 I'm still a musician at heart. 26 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:32,585 - (sizzling) - (lighthouse keeper wails) 27 00:01:33,628 --> 00:01:35,964 God, that was a beautiful pitch. 28 00:01:35,964 --> 00:01:37,131 That was really nice. 29 00:01:39,551 --> 00:01:41,094 (screaming) 30 00:01:44,055 --> 00:01:46,057 - (normal) Let's loosen up. - (lighthouse keeper wailing) 31 00:01:46,057 --> 00:01:48,726 - A bit more from the diaphragm. - (sizzling) 32 00:01:48,726 --> 00:01:50,186 - Less from the throat. - (deeper wailing) 33 00:01:50,186 --> 00:01:54,107 (gasps) You have a lovely, natural instrument. 34 00:01:55,775 --> 00:01:57,068 (birds cawing) 35 00:01:59,070 --> 00:02:01,155 (pensive music playing) 36 00:02:05,827 --> 00:02:07,203 (thundering) 37 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:17,463 Oh, look, it's scowl-y face. 38 00:02:17,463 --> 00:02:21,050 Oh, look... you're talkin' to me again. 39 00:02:22,051 --> 00:02:23,761 Yeah. 40 00:02:23,761 --> 00:02:26,347 Sorry, I'm a bit drunk, I thought you were Roach. 41 00:02:27,599 --> 00:02:30,476 Jesus. You're really puttin' that away, aren't you? 42 00:02:30,476 --> 00:02:33,271 Yes, I am. 43 00:02:33,271 --> 00:02:34,939 Somethin's wrong. 44 00:02:34,939 --> 00:02:37,734 Feels like a storm is coming, but I can't see it. 45 00:02:39,569 --> 00:02:41,279 Or maybe you're just a mopey twat 46 00:02:41,279 --> 00:02:43,156 and there isn't a fuckin' storm. 47 00:02:50,747 --> 00:02:52,332 (sighs) 48 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:56,669 Sorry about your leg. 49 00:02:56,669 --> 00:02:58,671 ♪ 50 00:02:58,671 --> 00:03:00,340 Fuck off. 51 00:03:01,925 --> 00:03:03,092 Ta-da! 52 00:03:03,801 --> 00:03:07,513 I put all of your remaining treasure in one room. 53 00:03:07,513 --> 00:03:08,556 It was all over the place, 54 00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:10,141 and I was tripping over it. 55 00:03:10,141 --> 00:03:12,060 And some of it's quite ugly. 56 00:03:12,644 --> 00:03:15,813 Excellent. A reminder of all my guilt. 57 00:03:16,189 --> 00:03:17,774 A guilt room. 58 00:03:18,983 --> 00:03:21,945 Well, maybe you could do something good with it. 59 00:03:23,363 --> 00:03:26,950 I'm inside a snake, man! I'm inside of a fuckin' snake. 60 00:03:26,950 --> 00:03:28,326 And I'm like, I feel like a snake, move like a snake, 61 00:03:28,326 --> 00:03:31,829 ya know, and I get a knife and I just stab the fucker. 62 00:03:31,829 --> 00:03:34,332 And then I... (growls) And then I, like, crawl out, and then they're like, 63 00:03:34,332 --> 00:03:37,919 "Surprise!" (laughing) 'Cause it was my birthday. 64 00:03:38,544 --> 00:03:42,131 And then we just spit-roasted that snake, it was delicious. 65 00:03:42,131 --> 00:03:45,426 (chuckles) So, um, (clears throat) what do you guys do 66 00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:45,843 for parties around here? 67 00:03:45,843 --> 00:03:47,929 - Uh... - Oh! 68 00:03:48,638 --> 00:03:50,348 Oh, yeah. We, we rage. 69 00:03:50,348 --> 00:03:52,433 - (laughs) I thought you might. - Oluwande: Yeah. 70 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,602 - Roach: Yeah, we rage! - Fuckin' rage. 71 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:55,979 - D-Do you? - Yeah. 72 00:03:55,979 --> 00:03:56,688 Oluwande: Heavy on the rage. (chuckles) 73 00:03:56,688 --> 00:03:59,190 Hm, do we? 74 00:04:00,108 --> 00:04:02,735 I haven't crawled out of a snake in years. 75 00:04:02,735 --> 00:04:05,738 Yeah, guys. It's been kinda slow around here. 76 00:04:05,738 --> 00:04:08,574 I mean, last night, we just reorganized furniture. 77 00:04:08,574 --> 00:04:10,743 Yeah, well, improvement in the flow is undeniable. 78 00:04:10,743 --> 00:04:12,495 - Have you seen this place? - (crewmembers agreeing) 79 00:04:12,495 --> 00:04:15,039 Yeah, but I'll be honest. We are a bit boring now, aren't we? 80 00:04:15,039 --> 00:04:17,875 - Ugh. - Yeah, yeah, that's right. 81 00:04:17,875 --> 00:04:20,044 Well, it's a happy coincidence then 82 00:04:20,044 --> 00:04:21,879 that today is Calypso's birthday. 83 00:04:21,879 --> 00:04:24,882 - (gasps) - Oh, yeah! 84 00:04:24,882 --> 00:04:28,052 - Yeah! Shit, that's today? - Yeah, it certainly is. 85 00:04:28,052 --> 00:04:29,345 The most holy day in the Calypsian calendar. 86 00:04:29,345 --> 00:04:32,598 And seeing as many of us here are Calypsish-- 87 00:04:32,598 --> 00:04:33,641 Oh, yeah, I'm Calypsish. 88 00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:35,268 You're Calypsish, you're Calypsish. 89 00:04:35,268 --> 00:04:36,561 Archie: Wait, wait, wait. 90 00:04:36,561 --> 00:04:38,563 Is Calypso's birthday something that you guys 91 00:04:38,563 --> 00:04:43,401 just made up, just invented so that we can have a party? 92 00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:48,072 - (Oluwande chuckles) - Correctamundo. 93 00:04:48,072 --> 00:04:49,282 (all cheering) 94 00:04:49,282 --> 00:04:52,493 - Yeah, it is! - Ay, Calypso birthday! 95 00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:54,245 You can buy new clothes. Or how's this? 96 00:04:54,245 --> 00:04:59,667 Give a lot of it away to those less fortunate. 97 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,294 - (footsteps approach) - Yeah. 98 00:05:01,294 --> 00:05:02,587 Hey, uh, Captains, 99 00:05:02,587 --> 00:05:05,798 um, your crew were just wondering if we're doin' anything 100 00:05:05,798 --> 00:05:08,217 - for Calypso's birthday. - Calypso's birthday? 101 00:05:08,217 --> 00:05:10,094 Correct. It's a day of observance. 102 00:05:10,094 --> 00:05:11,095 By far, the holiest of days in our culture. 103 00:05:11,095 --> 00:05:14,182 Traditionally celebrated by a big bash. 104 00:05:14,182 --> 00:05:17,018 Well, we-- Definitely. We should, um-- 105 00:05:17,018 --> 00:05:19,437 Yes. We'll-- I'll, I'll get onto that. 106 00:05:20,313 --> 00:05:21,647 Have fun. 107 00:05:21,647 --> 00:05:23,066 (whispers) We should do that. 108 00:05:23,858 --> 00:05:27,445 Yeah, uh, so they're just tryin' to Calypso you. 109 00:05:27,445 --> 00:05:32,450 Um, it's totally just a huge made-up excuse for a big party. 110 00:05:32,450 --> 00:05:34,202 Oh. 111 00:05:34,202 --> 00:05:35,244 Well, you know what? 112 00:05:35,244 --> 00:05:35,953 You could use this loot 113 00:05:35,953 --> 00:05:38,706 to pay for a big bash. 114 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:41,167 Turn poison into positivity! 115 00:05:43,836 --> 00:05:46,130 Poison into positivity. 116 00:05:46,130 --> 00:05:49,926 Prince Ricky Banes: The evils of piracy have plagued our nations 117 00:05:49,926 --> 00:05:54,097 and our communities for long enough. 118 00:05:54,097 --> 00:05:56,974 Indeed, I was minding my own business 119 00:05:56,974 --> 00:05:59,769 and I was beset by brigands. 120 00:06:00,853 --> 00:06:02,647 You?! You robbed me? 121 00:06:03,314 --> 00:06:09,153 And those 20-something brigands... took my nose. 122 00:06:09,153 --> 00:06:10,071 - (Prince Ricky screams) - (slices) 123 00:06:10,071 --> 00:06:15,118 So, it's up to us fine gentlemen 124 00:06:15,118 --> 00:06:20,373 to stand up against this modern piracy 125 00:06:20,373 --> 00:06:21,707 and stay vigilant. 126 00:06:21,707 --> 00:06:24,544 (applause) 127 00:06:24,544 --> 00:06:26,462 (indistinct chatter) 128 00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:31,300 Remarkable speech, Prince. 129 00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:33,553 This was delivered by messenger this morning. 130 00:06:40,977 --> 00:06:42,812 Oh. 131 00:06:42,812 --> 00:06:45,314 (lute music plays) 132 00:06:45,314 --> 00:06:47,692 Stede Bonnet: Alright. Party supplies on Ed. 133 00:06:47,692 --> 00:06:51,154 - Jim: We're gonna need flowers and lanterns. - (excited chatter) 134 00:06:51,154 --> 00:06:52,405 Fang: Ooh, we're gonna need a goat. 135 00:06:52,405 --> 00:06:54,699 And some rum. A rum-drinking goat! 136 00:06:54,699 --> 00:06:55,867 So, what do we think Calypso drinks? 137 00:06:55,867 --> 00:06:58,452 Bearing in mind Blackbeard is payin', so let's-- 138 00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:02,582 Oh, whoa, whoa. Then I reckon she drinks a fine brandy. 139 00:07:02,582 --> 00:07:04,417 - One worthy of a goddess. - Yeah. 140 00:07:04,417 --> 00:07:05,251 - Yeah. - Yeah. 141 00:07:05,251 --> 00:07:05,710 We've only got rum. 142 00:07:05,710 --> 00:07:07,837 One type. 143 00:07:09,130 --> 00:07:09,422 Cheap. 144 00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:12,842 - Well, we'll take that, then. Yeah. - Yep, yep. 145 00:07:13,551 --> 00:07:16,053 Blackbeard: Hey, urchins, I'm gonna change your lives. 146 00:07:16,053 --> 00:07:18,389 Here's 50,000 doubloons. 147 00:07:18,973 --> 00:07:21,142 You know how long it was till I had that kinda money? 148 00:07:23,978 --> 00:07:25,855 A fuckin' long time. 149 00:07:26,898 --> 00:07:28,858 And here is a knife. 150 00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:32,028 You stab anyone who comes near that money, okay? 151 00:07:32,028 --> 00:07:33,404 I want a knife. 152 00:07:33,863 --> 00:07:34,447 Yeah, you can have a knife, too. 153 00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:38,743 Pro tip here: When you're killing someone, 154 00:07:38,743 --> 00:07:41,037 okay, don't bother stabbing, alright? 155 00:07:41,037 --> 00:07:42,246 Chances are they'll survive. 156 00:07:42,246 --> 00:07:43,414 You wanna slash 157 00:07:43,414 --> 00:07:45,208 big, deep slashes side to side 158 00:07:45,208 --> 00:07:46,751 so the guts all fall out. 159 00:07:47,084 --> 00:07:47,919 Hey. 160 00:07:47,919 --> 00:07:50,838 Did I see you offer 161 00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:53,758 both these children knives... 162 00:07:53,758 --> 00:07:55,426 and a big bag of money? 163 00:07:55,426 --> 00:07:57,970 Yeah. Yeah, well, I just 164 00:07:57,970 --> 00:07:59,388 thought I'd give these filthy, little gutter rats, 165 00:07:59,388 --> 00:08:02,683 uh, the head start that I never had. 166 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,101 - Poison into positivity. - Ahh. 167 00:08:04,101 --> 00:08:05,102 Are you a pirate? 168 00:08:05,102 --> 00:08:07,438 - No, we're not pirates. - No. 169 00:08:07,438 --> 00:08:09,440 And you won't be pirates either. 170 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,484 Okay? We own an inn. 171 00:08:11,484 --> 00:08:12,985 Yes, of course. How can I forget? 172 00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:15,196 Blackbeard: Don't pirate, kids. Alright? 173 00:08:15,196 --> 00:08:16,197 Stede: Agree. Don't be pirates. Don't be pirates. 174 00:08:16,197 --> 00:08:20,618 (tense music playing) 175 00:08:21,369 --> 00:08:23,913 I see you've received our invitation. 176 00:08:24,455 --> 00:08:27,750 Hm. That's a very interesting way to describe blackmail. 177 00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:31,754 Do we like the term "blackmail"? 178 00:08:31,754 --> 00:08:33,339 (chuckles) It's so unpleasant. 179 00:08:33,339 --> 00:08:34,173 Can we just say that I... 180 00:08:34,173 --> 00:08:37,677 (deep inhale) I see you... 181 00:08:38,094 --> 00:08:39,804 clearly. 182 00:08:40,471 --> 00:08:42,139 Ah... Ah. 183 00:08:42,598 --> 00:08:43,808 Left a bit of yourself behind 184 00:08:43,808 --> 00:08:47,103 - at Spanish Jackie's, eh? - Auntie, please. 185 00:08:47,103 --> 00:08:48,646 He's been through enough. 186 00:08:48,646 --> 00:08:50,231 He's disfigured himself as a result 187 00:08:50,231 --> 00:08:51,983 of a business deal gone wrong. 188 00:08:51,983 --> 00:08:53,901 No, no, we don't need to pile on. 189 00:08:54,527 --> 00:09:00,658 I would be very careful who you trifle with, Zheng Yi Sao. 190 00:09:00,658 --> 00:09:02,535 'Cause I'm a minor prince. 191 00:09:02,535 --> 00:09:05,663 - And that's why we're blackmailing you. - Ah. 192 00:09:05,663 --> 00:09:07,999 Again, I don't like that term. (chuckles) 193 00:09:07,999 --> 00:09:12,253 "Minor prince." "Pirate queen who bent China to her will." 194 00:09:12,253 --> 00:09:13,379 These are, these are just labels. 195 00:09:13,379 --> 00:09:16,882 I don't wanna talk about who you are. 196 00:09:16,882 --> 00:09:20,511 (laughs) I wanna talk about... who you could be. 197 00:09:20,511 --> 00:09:24,056 - (Zheng pouring tea) - Prince Ricky: Hm. 198 00:09:24,056 --> 00:09:26,684 ("Wasting My Time" by Harry Mosco playing) 199 00:09:26,684 --> 00:09:29,186 Roach: Here we go, guys. The snacks are ready. 200 00:09:29,186 --> 00:09:31,689 (muffled music playing) 201 00:09:34,567 --> 00:09:37,528 - What's all this, then? - I'm working on my look. 202 00:09:39,071 --> 00:09:40,323 Look? 203 00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:42,491 The fuck's a look? 204 00:09:42,908 --> 00:09:46,621 Well, tonight I'm going as the Sea Goddess Calypso. 205 00:09:46,621 --> 00:09:51,667 I'm thinking dramatic eyes, dramatic lips. 206 00:09:52,418 --> 00:09:54,045 Drama on the cheeks. 207 00:09:54,045 --> 00:09:56,714 ♪ 208 00:09:56,714 --> 00:09:59,675 (crew cheering, laughing) 209 00:10:01,385 --> 00:10:05,848 Now, it's imperative you do not sip until Calypso herself decrees. 210 00:10:05,848 --> 00:10:09,852 - Roach: Ah! Come on! - May the goddess have mercy on this thirsty little guy. 211 00:10:09,852 --> 00:10:12,605 - (laughter) - Pirate: Woo! 212 00:10:13,481 --> 00:10:14,690 (laughs) What is this? 213 00:10:14,690 --> 00:10:17,943 Archie: Ah! Welcome, ye party animules! 214 00:10:17,943 --> 00:10:19,403 - Oh, thank you. - For you! 215 00:10:19,403 --> 00:10:20,613 Hang on, that's my tub! 216 00:10:20,613 --> 00:10:22,573 Is it? Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm new here. 217 00:10:22,573 --> 00:10:26,535 The moving of the tub, it's a sacred tradition! 218 00:10:26,535 --> 00:10:30,081 - Yeah, this guy's devout as fuck! - Just go with it. 219 00:10:30,081 --> 00:10:32,666 Fine. As long as it's returned without a dent. 220 00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:33,918 - Jim: Gah! - (Stede yelps) 221 00:10:33,918 --> 00:10:35,419 Do you feel that? 222 00:10:35,419 --> 00:10:38,047 - (Jim speaks Spanish) - (Archie exclaiming) 223 00:10:38,047 --> 00:10:39,590 Roach: Oh! She must be near! 224 00:10:39,590 --> 00:10:42,927 - (indistinct yelling) - (laughter) 225 00:10:42,927 --> 00:10:45,012 Wee John Feeney: Greetings, mortals. 226 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:47,973 - All: Ooh! - Whoa! Is that Wee John? 227 00:10:47,973 --> 00:10:49,100 'Tis I, Calypso. 228 00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:52,853 (crewmembers vocalizing) 229 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:55,481 Raise your motherfucking glasses 230 00:10:55,481 --> 00:10:58,275 or feel my absolute wrath. 231 00:10:58,275 --> 00:11:00,444 (all cheering) 232 00:11:00,444 --> 00:11:03,239 - (Wee John laughing) - (indistinct yelling) 233 00:11:03,239 --> 00:11:06,117 (sings) ♪ La, la ♪ 234 00:11:06,117 --> 00:11:08,285 Yeah, just play that. Just follow my beat. 235 00:11:08,828 --> 00:11:11,789 (Frenchie playing "La Vie En Rose" on lute) 236 00:11:12,998 --> 00:11:18,254 (sings) ♪ Hold me close and hold me fast ♪ 237 00:11:18,254 --> 00:11:20,464 ♪ The magic spell you cast ♪ 238 00:11:20,464 --> 00:11:26,178 ♪ This is la vie en rose ♪ 239 00:11:26,178 --> 00:11:30,349 ♪ When you kiss me, heaven sighs ♪ 240 00:11:30,349 --> 00:11:33,936 - ♪ And though I close my eyes ♪ - (Wee John sighs) 241 00:11:33,936 --> 00:11:37,022 ♪ I see la vie en rose ♪ 242 00:11:37,398 --> 00:11:41,485 - ♪ When you press me to your heart... ♪ - What's happening right now? 243 00:11:41,485 --> 00:11:44,071 - I think you did it. - Did what? 244 00:11:45,197 --> 00:11:48,534 Turned the poison into positivity. 245 00:11:50,244 --> 00:11:52,163 ♪ And when you speak ♪ 246 00:11:52,163 --> 00:11:55,374 - ♪ Angels sing from above ♪ - Come on. 247 00:11:56,125 --> 00:12:02,548 ♪ Everyday words seem to turn into love ♪ 248 00:12:02,548 --> 00:12:03,632 - (loud bang) - (all scream) 249 00:12:03,632 --> 00:12:06,427 Stede: Oh, God! We're under attack! 250 00:12:06,427 --> 00:12:08,554 - (indistinct yelling) - (cannon fire) 251 00:12:08,554 --> 00:12:11,474 - (screaming) - Get down! 252 00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:14,059 Roach: What's happening?! Is it fireworks?! 253 00:12:14,059 --> 00:12:18,439 Good evening, doomed crew of "The Revenge." 254 00:12:18,439 --> 00:12:21,275 (sighs) Ned Low. Fuckin' perfect. 255 00:12:22,151 --> 00:12:24,945 Oh, I'm going to torture you all, by the way. 256 00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:28,032 (tense music playing) 257 00:12:28,616 --> 00:12:30,534 Ned Low: Ya know, uh, we've never met. 258 00:12:30,534 --> 00:12:32,703 But there's a reason for that. 259 00:12:32,703 --> 00:12:35,873 Because I only hang out with cool pirates. 260 00:12:35,873 --> 00:12:40,628 No. The reason is that I have always thought 261 00:12:40,628 --> 00:12:41,795 you were a very... 262 00:12:44,006 --> 00:12:45,716 generic pirate. 263 00:12:45,716 --> 00:12:48,177 Ya know? Beard? Check. 264 00:12:48,177 --> 00:12:49,345 - Hair? Check. - Fuck off. 265 00:12:49,345 --> 00:12:54,225 Tattoos? Check. Ya know, just sort of a typical, common, 266 00:12:54,225 --> 00:12:58,646 dirty... bag of pirate. 267 00:12:58,646 --> 00:13:00,898 I didn't even want your fuckin' record. 268 00:13:00,898 --> 00:13:01,899 I only broke it 'cause I was bored. 269 00:13:02,274 --> 00:13:05,486 Mm-hmm. Hm. 270 00:13:06,403 --> 00:13:10,533 Ya know, music came very easily to my younger brother. 271 00:13:10,533 --> 00:13:11,825 Let me guess, you killed him? 272 00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:14,537 Strung up your little fiddle bow with his guts 273 00:13:14,537 --> 00:13:16,330 or something super melodramatic like that. 274 00:13:17,456 --> 00:13:21,544 - Ooh, shit. Struck a chord. I think you got it in one. - Oh. (laughs) Yeah. 275 00:13:21,544 --> 00:13:22,920 It's usually something like that. 276 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:24,463 It's often family-based stuff. 277 00:13:24,463 --> 00:13:25,589 I will (yells) not 278 00:13:25,589 --> 00:13:30,094 be undone by another idiot savant! 279 00:13:30,094 --> 00:13:31,804 - (screaming) - Fuck you! 280 00:13:31,804 --> 00:13:36,141 (groans, sighs) You torture like a bitch. 281 00:13:36,141 --> 00:13:37,393 - Oh, yeah? - That's good. 282 00:13:37,393 --> 00:13:38,769 But maybe don't encourage him. 283 00:13:38,769 --> 00:13:40,938 Hey. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 284 00:13:40,938 --> 00:13:42,898 - It's me you want. It's me you want! - Oh, oh! Ooh, ooh, ooh! 285 00:13:42,898 --> 00:13:44,275 - Don't! I'm gonna fuckin'... - (screaming) 286 00:13:44,275 --> 00:13:45,693 ...kill you, you fucker! 287 00:13:45,693 --> 00:13:47,570 Pirate: This is really gonna hurt. 288 00:13:47,570 --> 00:13:49,655 - (screaming) - Just so you know. 289 00:13:49,655 --> 00:13:52,616 Relax. Oh, I'm tender-headed, ya know? 290 00:13:52,616 --> 00:13:53,742 (groans) Alright! Okay! (yells) 291 00:13:53,742 --> 00:13:58,247 (laughs) I don't think the torture has begun. 292 00:13:58,247 --> 00:13:59,748 Wait, so it gets worse than this? 293 00:13:59,748 --> 00:14:02,418 Yeah, it gets way worse. 294 00:14:02,418 --> 00:14:05,129 So, what's the plan, you weird fuck? 295 00:14:05,129 --> 00:14:07,548 Um, yeah, I'm probably gonna cut your skin off 296 00:14:07,548 --> 00:14:09,133 in strips or some bullshit like that. 297 00:14:09,133 --> 00:14:10,467 You don't sound very excited about it. 298 00:14:10,467 --> 00:14:15,347 Hm. Uh, what are we, uh, 299 00:14:15,347 --> 00:14:16,974 what are we celebrating here, guys? 300 00:14:16,974 --> 00:14:19,226 - It's Calypso's birthday. - (chuckles) Calypso. 301 00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,645 - Uh, I'm Calypso. - Oh, God. 302 00:14:21,645 --> 00:14:23,272 Guys, they (chuckles) Calypso'd them. 303 00:14:23,272 --> 00:14:26,275 - (all laughing) - Ned would shit his pants if we did that. (laughs) 304 00:14:26,275 --> 00:14:28,694 Yeah, Captain likes a bit of whimsy now and then. 305 00:14:28,694 --> 00:14:31,405 Well, I guess our captains have very different ideas about whimsy. 306 00:14:31,405 --> 00:14:33,157 Uh, may-maybe we should talk about it. 307 00:14:33,157 --> 00:14:36,535 - No. Same shit, different day. - (groans) Okay. Okay. Okay. 308 00:14:36,535 --> 00:14:37,494 - I'll shut up. I'll shut up. - Ya know, whatever this is, 309 00:14:37,494 --> 00:14:40,205 it's just gonna turn me on. 310 00:14:40,205 --> 00:14:41,248 {\an8}- Oh, really? - Uh-huh. 311 00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:43,167 {\an8}Go fuck yourself. 312 00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:47,254 Wow. We were in there for a, a whole day. 313 00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:51,133 (sighs) I guess this is just engaged life. 314 00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:53,677 Here's to... 24 hours of... 315 00:14:53,677 --> 00:14:58,057 freaky... uninterrupted love. 316 00:14:58,057 --> 00:14:59,433 Mm. 317 00:15:02,311 --> 00:15:04,313 Yeah, why weren't we interrupted? Where is everyone? 318 00:15:04,313 --> 00:15:06,357 (crew screaming) 319 00:15:06,982 --> 00:15:11,737 - That doesn't sound-- - Are we... under attack? 320 00:15:12,446 --> 00:15:15,032 (groaning) 321 00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:20,871 Comfy? 322 00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:26,502 Tighter, please. I think you've almost fixed my lower back. 323 00:15:28,003 --> 00:15:30,673 - (Blackbeard screams) - Ned: Mmm. 324 00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:34,301 Alright, you idiots. It's almost showtime. 325 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:35,719 Everyone settled in? 326 00:15:35,719 --> 00:15:37,388 Prepared to give their finest performance? 327 00:15:37,388 --> 00:15:40,224 (crewmembers groaning) 328 00:15:40,224 --> 00:15:41,350 Can you hurry up? 329 00:15:41,350 --> 00:15:44,770 Do you want it done fast or do you want it done well? 330 00:15:44,770 --> 00:15:46,105 Both! 331 00:15:46,563 --> 00:15:47,731 (mutters) Yeah, right. Both. 332 00:15:47,731 --> 00:15:49,817 Torturing us won't get your record back. 333 00:15:49,817 --> 00:15:51,235 I know that. I'm just doing it for the lolz. 334 00:15:51,235 --> 00:15:53,904 (groans) 335 00:15:53,904 --> 00:15:56,907 Now, you are about to witness... 336 00:15:56,907 --> 00:16:01,495 a little something I call... "The Symphony." 337 00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:06,125 Let's all tune up! Tuning up! 338 00:16:06,125 --> 00:16:08,669 (all screaming at different pitches) 339 00:16:13,632 --> 00:16:15,259 {\an8}Black Pete (whispers): Okay, so, let's see here. 340 00:16:15,259 --> 00:16:17,177 Weapons. Weapons. Weapons. 341 00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:20,514 Babe, here's everything I could find that's sharp or pointy. 342 00:16:21,598 --> 00:16:25,602 Oh, my God, that's actually, like, making me nauseous. 343 00:16:26,812 --> 00:16:29,565 - We really have to, like, do something. - Yeah, yeah. No, no. 344 00:16:29,565 --> 00:16:31,817 Maybe we just, like, tell their stories. 345 00:16:31,817 --> 00:16:33,944 And in some ways, isn't that the best revenge? 346 00:16:33,944 --> 00:16:36,989 But we're not really at the revenge step. 347 00:16:36,989 --> 00:16:40,993 We're sort of in the, like... pre-revenge window. 348 00:16:40,993 --> 00:16:44,747 But there's a bunch of them and two of us. 349 00:16:44,747 --> 00:16:46,749 (crewmembers screaming) 350 00:16:46,749 --> 00:16:50,002 Right, so, so, so, like, a plan. 351 00:16:50,002 --> 00:16:51,503 Yeah, we definitely need a plan. 352 00:16:51,503 --> 00:16:52,546 And we probably need more knives. 353 00:16:52,546 --> 00:16:53,505 We definitely need more knives. 354 00:16:53,505 --> 00:16:54,298 Okay, I'll go get some. 355 00:16:54,298 --> 00:16:56,049 Okay. Like, a bunch more knives. 356 00:16:57,968 --> 00:16:59,178 (groaning, screaming) 357 00:17:01,638 --> 00:17:05,434 - Ah! Jesus! Ah! - No! You're late! 358 00:17:05,434 --> 00:17:07,811 - Pirate: I wasn't late. - It really hurts! 359 00:17:07,811 --> 00:17:09,521 Oh, thank you. 360 00:17:09,521 --> 00:17:11,315 It's nice to get a little positive reinforcement now and again. 361 00:17:11,899 --> 00:17:15,277 Don't talk to my employee. 362 00:17:15,277 --> 00:17:18,447 - Oh, God. - Oh, that's the problem. 363 00:17:18,447 --> 00:17:20,407 You see her as your employee 364 00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:23,494 rather than the person she actually is. 365 00:17:23,494 --> 00:17:24,953 Okay... kill him. 366 00:17:24,953 --> 00:17:28,207 - (pirate groans) - Alrighty, dumbasses. 367 00:17:28,207 --> 00:17:31,001 - Let's take it from the top! - (screaming) 368 00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:32,044 - Enough trifling! - Oh! 369 00:17:32,044 --> 00:17:36,590 Release my crew or Hellkat-- Is it Hellkat? 370 00:17:36,590 --> 00:17:38,342 Uh, it's actually H-Hellkat Maggie. 371 00:17:38,342 --> 00:17:40,177 - Oh, that's a beautiful name. - Oh, thank you. 372 00:17:40,177 --> 00:17:42,179 Hellkat Maggie gets it. 373 00:17:42,638 --> 00:17:43,847 (scoffs) Go ahead and kill her. 374 00:17:43,847 --> 00:17:46,183 She can't even tie a rope correctly. 375 00:17:46,183 --> 00:17:48,185 Maybe I'm demoralized by your constant fucking criticism. 376 00:17:48,185 --> 00:17:50,145 Pirate: Me too. I've had enough of the shiny fuck. 377 00:17:50,145 --> 00:17:53,106 I don't like the way it makes me feel working for you. 378 00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:55,818 - Yeah, this job sucks. - (Ned's crew agreeing) 379 00:17:55,818 --> 00:17:57,444 You're mercenaries. You don't have feelings. 380 00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,154 How about you stop telling me who I am? 381 00:17:59,154 --> 00:18:01,532 - Yeah, and she has a name. - Yeah. 382 00:18:01,949 --> 00:18:03,617 - A beautiful one. - (door slams open) 383 00:18:03,617 --> 00:18:06,328 Black Pete (yelling): Fuck yeah! You wanna get crazy? 384 00:18:06,328 --> 00:18:08,330 Let's get fuckin' crazy! 385 00:18:08,330 --> 00:18:10,541 {\an8}Guys, Stede's already got this! 386 00:18:10,541 --> 00:18:12,709 - Oluwande: Yeah. Where you been? - We got engaged. 387 00:18:12,709 --> 00:18:15,963 - All: Aww. - Oh, I love that. 388 00:18:15,963 --> 00:18:18,382 Anywho, where were we? Oh, that's right. 389 00:18:18,382 --> 00:18:20,884 Your lot was turning, weren't you? 390 00:18:20,884 --> 00:18:22,845 - Hellkat Maggie: Mm-hmm. - Stede: Good. 391 00:18:22,845 --> 00:18:24,680 Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. Come on. Come on. 392 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,808 Please. Let's have a little professionalism. 393 00:18:27,808 --> 00:18:29,977 Oh, now he's saying please. (laughs) 394 00:18:30,686 --> 00:18:33,021 Who's comin' in late now, Neddy? 395 00:18:33,021 --> 00:18:34,565 ♪ 396 00:18:34,565 --> 00:18:39,236 Oh, in summary, you have built a pirate navy, 397 00:18:39,236 --> 00:18:43,073 and you want the Crown to pay them not to pirate. 398 00:18:43,073 --> 00:18:45,409 Correct. Pay them a living wage. 399 00:18:45,409 --> 00:18:46,618 Then they will stop stealing your shit. 400 00:18:46,618 --> 00:18:50,706 Do you know where a fifth of your nation's treasure winds up? 401 00:18:50,706 --> 00:18:53,250 - On the sea floor. - On the floor of the sea. 402 00:18:53,250 --> 00:18:55,544 Get out. No way, the sea floor? 403 00:18:55,544 --> 00:18:57,713 But you-you are gonna end all that. 404 00:18:57,713 --> 00:19:01,174 You could end all that. 405 00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:04,094 Oh, because of Papa's access to the Treasury? 406 00:19:04,094 --> 00:19:07,723 Zheng Yi Sao: Yes, but more importantly, 407 00:19:07,723 --> 00:19:10,767 because you're Prince Richard Banes, 408 00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:13,937 respected pirate abolitionist. 409 00:19:13,937 --> 00:19:17,357 And you could be the man to end all piracy 410 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:20,235 without firing a single shot. 411 00:19:20,235 --> 00:19:22,487 - (strikes match) - Shot. 412 00:19:22,821 --> 00:19:24,573 Thanks for the treasure, Bonnet! 413 00:19:24,573 --> 00:19:25,949 You're a good dude. 414 00:19:25,949 --> 00:19:27,951 Awfully sorry to hear about your mum, Vincent. 415 00:19:27,951 --> 00:19:29,494 Hope she's feeling better soon. 416 00:19:29,494 --> 00:19:31,830 Thanks, Bonnet. You're the fuckin' man, bro. 417 00:19:31,830 --> 00:19:34,791 Alright. Full sail, dawgs! 418 00:19:34,791 --> 00:19:36,960 Oh, and I mean that supportively and affectionately. 419 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:39,922 Ned: You are all a disgrace! 420 00:19:39,922 --> 00:19:45,010 I'll find you! I'll hunt you down! 421 00:19:45,010 --> 00:19:47,638 Hellkat Maggie: Alright, gang! Let's talk profit sharing. 422 00:19:47,638 --> 00:19:50,641 - (Ned's crew cheers) - Pirate: Woo-hoo-hoo! Maggie! 423 00:19:50,641 --> 00:19:51,642 (Ned sighs) 424 00:19:51,642 --> 00:19:55,979 So... Bland Beard. 425 00:19:55,979 --> 00:19:57,481 How ya gonna do it? 426 00:19:57,981 --> 00:20:00,943 I'm not. I don't respect you enough to kill you. 427 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:03,278 You're not worth the poison. 428 00:20:03,278 --> 00:20:04,988 What happened to you? What happened? 429 00:20:04,988 --> 00:20:07,491 You used to be a killer, 430 00:20:07,491 --> 00:20:10,827 but now you're just a washed-up, low-born... 431 00:20:10,827 --> 00:20:13,789 - dirtbag. - (gasps) 432 00:20:15,874 --> 00:20:18,168 - Walk! - Oh. Oh, oh, now this is how ya do it. 433 00:20:18,168 --> 00:20:19,503 This is what it's all about right here. 434 00:20:19,503 --> 00:20:21,588 Go. 435 00:20:23,340 --> 00:20:25,926 ♪ 436 00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:29,346 Get up. 437 00:20:31,139 --> 00:20:34,226 - (plank creaks) - Ned: On the plank? 438 00:20:34,226 --> 00:20:34,685 Yeah. 439 00:20:34,685 --> 00:20:37,020 Oh, that is kinky. 440 00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:40,023 You're gonna toss me into the sea? 441 00:20:40,023 --> 00:20:42,025 ♪ 442 00:20:42,025 --> 00:20:44,861 Works for spiders. Works for men. 443 00:20:44,861 --> 00:20:50,534 Ya know, um, once you kill me, 444 00:20:50,534 --> 00:20:52,202 you are a real pirate. 445 00:20:52,202 --> 00:20:57,416 You're, you're not an amateur anymore. 446 00:20:58,041 --> 00:21:00,377 Don't do it, Stede. 447 00:21:00,377 --> 00:21:03,755 Killing in cold blood, you can't come back from that. 448 00:21:06,591 --> 00:21:09,511 See? That's why he likes you. 449 00:21:09,970 --> 00:21:13,849 It's because of your bumbling amateur status. 450 00:21:13,849 --> 00:21:16,643 You're like a pet, I think. 451 00:21:17,394 --> 00:21:18,353 You hurt my crew. 452 00:21:18,353 --> 00:21:22,315 You shit-talked my friend and damaged my ship. 453 00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:26,737 But worst of all, you fucked Calypso's birthday! 454 00:21:26,737 --> 00:21:29,239 (crew exclaims) 455 00:21:29,239 --> 00:21:31,283 - (all agreeing) - Fuck off. 456 00:21:31,283 --> 00:21:37,414 Alright, well, what would you like me to do? Jump? 457 00:21:37,414 --> 00:21:39,916 No, don't forget your fiddle. 458 00:21:39,916 --> 00:21:42,252 - (Ned screams) - (loud splash) 459 00:21:42,252 --> 00:21:44,880 (crew exclaiming) 460 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:48,300 (solemn music playing) 461 00:21:48,300 --> 00:21:49,426 (cheering) 462 00:21:58,018 --> 00:22:00,937 I'll be in my quarters. 463 00:22:00,937 --> 00:22:02,230 Izzy Hands: Give him a minute. 464 00:22:03,190 --> 00:22:04,441 First kill's always a mind-fuck. 465 00:22:07,027 --> 00:22:08,820 I'm gonna check on him. 466 00:22:12,324 --> 00:22:13,909 (knocks on door) 467 00:22:17,788 --> 00:22:19,331 Hey. You okay? 468 00:22:20,332 --> 00:22:23,251 (sighs) Look, I was a wreck after my first kill as well. 469 00:22:23,251 --> 00:22:25,295 I mean, well, it was my dad, so there's that-- 470 00:22:25,295 --> 00:22:28,965 (Izzy singing "La Vie En Rose" in French) 471 00:22:28,965 --> 00:22:32,469 (Frenchie plays lute) 472 00:22:33,637 --> 00:22:38,517 ♪ Je vois la vie en rose ♪ 473 00:22:38,517 --> 00:22:42,771 ♪ Il me dit des mots d'amour ♪ 474 00:22:42,771 --> 00:22:45,732 ♪ Des mots de tous les jours ♪ 475 00:22:45,732 --> 00:22:50,570 ♪ Et ca m'fait quelque chose ♪ 476 00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:54,908 ♪ Il est entré dans mon coeur ♪ 477 00:22:54,908 --> 00:22:57,869 ♪ Une part de bonheur ♪ 478 00:22:57,869 --> 00:23:01,498 ♪ Dont je connais la cause ♪ 479 00:23:01,498 --> 00:23:08,463 ♪ C'est lui pour moi, moi pour lui dans la vie ♪ 480 00:23:08,463 --> 00:23:14,010 ♪ Il me l'a dit, l'a juré, pour la vie ♪ 481 00:23:14,010 --> 00:23:17,013 - (Izzy holds note) - (all cheering) 482 00:23:20,433 --> 00:23:24,396 - (fireworks exploding) - (Roach laughs, cheers) 483 00:23:27,232 --> 00:23:33,363 ♪ Mon coeur qui bat ♪ 484 00:23:39,286 --> 00:23:41,204 ♪ 485 00:23:41,204 --> 00:23:43,915 (fireworks exploding) 486 00:23:45,959 --> 00:23:51,381 ♪ C'est lui pour moi, moi pour lui dans la vie ♪ 487 00:23:51,381 --> 00:23:59,014 ♪ Il me l'a dit, l'a juré, pour la vie ♪ 488 00:23:59,014 --> 00:24:02,225 ♪ Et dès que je l'apercois ♪ 489 00:24:02,225 --> 00:24:06,229 ♪ Alors, je sens en moi ♪ 490 00:24:06,229 --> 00:24:11,109 ♪ Mon coeur qui bat ♪ 491 00:24:11,109 --> 00:24:14,571 (crew singing along) 492 00:24:14,571 --> 00:24:18,033 All: ♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da ♪ 493 00:24:18,033 --> 00:24:24,122 ♪ Da, da, daaa, da ♪ 494 00:24:24,122 --> 00:24:27,292 (cheering, applause) 495 00:24:29,836 --> 00:24:33,798 All (chanting): One more song! One more song! 496 00:24:34,799 --> 00:24:37,385 Izzy: I've got one more song! 497 00:24:37,385 --> 00:24:39,429 (cheering) 498 00:24:39,429 --> 00:24:42,098 (fireworks exploding) 499 00:24:50,357 --> 00:24:53,235 - (goat bleats) - My apologies, guys, but I couldn't let 'em 500 00:24:53,235 --> 00:24:55,111 harm this little fella. 501 00:24:55,111 --> 00:24:57,113 So, we just went and hid off the side 502 00:24:57,113 --> 00:24:59,699 for a couple of hours, here. 503 00:24:59,699 --> 00:25:01,409 And now I've got really sore fingies 504 00:25:01,409 --> 00:25:03,995 from hangin' there holding you! Yes, you! 505 00:25:03,995 --> 00:25:05,288 Archie: Mate, you got sore fingies? 506 00:25:05,288 --> 00:25:06,331 I've got sore footsies and got tortured! 507 00:25:06,331 --> 00:25:08,667 - And we survived! - Oluwande: Yeah. 508 00:25:08,667 --> 00:25:11,920 - Let's fuckin' party! - (cheering) 509 00:25:12,837 --> 00:25:15,131 - I'll go get the fireworks! - Archie: Yeah! 510 00:25:15,131 --> 00:25:15,674 Ah!