Bye-bye.
Can't believe you made me breakfast in bed.
Yeah, me neither.
I don't think I've ever even made regular breakfast.
What have we got?
Toast with a bite already taken.
- That was me. - Marmalade, of course.
And strangely, some twine. What's that about?
Yeah, it's a piece of twine. I panicked.
Didn't know what else to put on there so I thought that I should add a flourish
so I put the twine on.
It worked. It does. It actually made it.
Just my way of sayin' thank you.
For what?
Okay, you know that night that I died?
- Yeah. - You appeared to me.
- Appeared? - Yeah.
- Like a ghost? - No, like a mermaid.
Or a mer-man. You were a mer-person.
How'd I look?
Fantastic.
Ya know, orange and sparkly, and you sort of just
appeared out of the darkness under the water.
You saved my life.
Well, I'm glad I could help.
I'm sure you'll return the favor next time we're in a near-death situation.
How 'bout we just avoid all near-death situations?
Yeah. Nice idea.
Not bloody likely with our line of work.
- Hiya, boys. - Jesus!
- Fuck off. - It is my duty to inform the Captain
that the ship has docked on the Republic of Pirates.
Thank you. You could inform me on deck.
Aye, aye. Also, it's good to see that it's not just the ship
that has been well and truly docked.
Congratulations.
He's jealous.
What is this doing in my office?
Well, that's from the Prince.
He delivered one to every ship in the fleet.
Something about celebrating a time of peace
between pirate and civilized society.
Because "time" and "time."
Nice.
Man, it's really ugly, isn't it? Aye.
At least it's loud!
Hey, you seein' all these knobs
with the red, knotty doodads on their shoulders?
Pretty stylish, aye?
Zheng's recruitin'.
She must have some big plans.
Alright, we get it. Your queen's a genius.
I'm just sayin' she's ambitious, that's all.
- Alright. - Borderline brilliant, actually.
Wait, hey, isn't that her over there?
Zheng! Hey, girl! What up?
Looks like she remembers you.
- And it's not looking good. - Nope.
We've been living around here for weeks.
Can't believe I didn't know about this place.
Oh, no. This place is great. I know everyone. Hey, Maxie!
Yeah. My favorite thing about this place, I've never been stabbed.
- That's a first. - Yeah.
Well, I spent a lot of time at the beach writing you letters.
What kind of letters?
Just letters. Putting them in bottles.
Throwing 'em in the sea.
Letters in bottles.
It's not the most reliable postal service, but I love that.
I love that ya did that.
Hey. Don't mean to interrupt, but--
You want an autograph. Here we go.
Having a lovely little meal here with my friend.
But I tell you what, I'm feeling in a nice and generous mood.
Once we finish our meal, I will sign whatever you want.
Are you Stede Bonnet? You wasted Ned Low?
Yes and yes, I suppose.
Do we have a problem here?
We're just huge fans.
We're gonna be at Jackie's later, we'll buy ya a round.
Bring your friend, too.
Spanish Jackie's.
- So awesome we got a chance to meet him. - What?
Congrats, mate. You're infamous.
Come on. I mean, a few roughnecks outside a fish shack does not infamy make.
Tell ya what. Why don't we go and get that drink, ay?
You can try out your new fame.
Maybe just one.
Should we get the bill?
Pirates don't pay, especially famous ones.
Run for it.
- Go, go, go, go. - We didn't pay.
We didn't pay!
And so I said to the poor bastard, "Not with those shoes on, you won't."
Hey! Thanks, mate.
God, this is going great for you.
- I'm enjoying it. - You are getting famous.
Here's a couple of things about that.
Accept drinks, but never finish them.
Never insult someone's tattoo, especially if it's of you.
What? People have your face tattooed on their body?
Not just my face.
Yeah, what else?
Number one thing, for me, is I'd say, watch out for the papes'.
- What are they? - The paper-razzi.
Those assholes that float around,
they're hiding in the corners doing drawings of you
without your permission.
- There's one over there. - What?
Yeah. Fuck you!
Hey, someone's definitely, probably gonna try and kill you.
Oh, really?!-Yeah. Enjoy the night!
What? What? Kill me?
Maybe there isn't any bad blood.
Jackie might not even be here today.
- Dude! - What?
We set one foot in here, Spanish Jackie will have our heads.
More like your balls.
Oh, Christ.
- Oh, shit. -"The Revenge" boys.
I never thought I'd see you in here again.
- Sorry! - Everyone, listen up!
Here's the crew that 86ed Ned Low!
Hey!
- Come on in! - Hey.
Don't be scared. Come on!
The Swede will be happy to see ya.
This is my signature cocktail.
I call it the Sot och Saftig, or the Sweet and Spicy,
just like my wife.
- Okay. Thank you. - Cheers.
Is it just me or did The Swede get, like, so hot?
It's an adjustment for me as well.
Another round, for the legendary crew of "The Revenge"!
Thank you!
Hey, this free drink shit is for the birds.
You know what I mean?
Birds love drinking for free?
No, that's not what I mean. There's money to be made.
- Let's get our grift on. - Okay.
- Yeah? - Yeah, let's do it.
It looks like your man is famous.
Look at me!
Why you dressed like a dirty-ass orphan?
Just takin' a little break from the leathers, ya know?
Natural fibers, bird shit on your collar.
You goin' through that "If I was a regular dude" phase, huh?
Actually, it might not be a phase.
Does he know that?
Stede! Stede!
Because your guy just became the motherfuckin' man.
Okay, here we go.
Blackbeard,
- are you a poor now? - What? No.
I'm just trying something different, man.
- Oh, okay. - Jesus.
Back to basics.
- Love the new look. - Yeah, now he's mucho caliente.
Fucks like a jackhammer.
- Stede! Stede! - I'm a Sea God!
Shit.
You were kinda like the break in my day.
I've never been called "the break" in anyone's day before.
Ya know, she just looked at me like I was a worm.
Was it as devastating as it was arousing?
How'd ya do it, Swede?
How'd you make Jackie so happy?
Hard work. I put my heart, soul, my back into it.
My whole body.
Ya know, if it doesn't work out with you and your lady friend,
I could put in a word with Jackie.
There's decent turnover here, husband-wise.
I know things didn't end well,
but he thinks about you all the time, man.
Olu came with me because we're like anchors for each other.
- We're family. - Oh, yeah. Family who fucked.
- Not helping. Look. - Sorry, sorry.
Ever since Olu came with us, all he does is talk about you
and how he wishes he could make it up to you.
Thank you for telling me.
You wanna talk to him?
I would not say no to that.
See you soon, Pirate Queen.
Don't make yourself too available.
Havin' a think, are ya?
Hey, ya know what I did this mornin'? Bright and early?
Made your boyfriend blush.
Ya threw away your leathers, I saw ya.
'Course ya did.
How'd it feel?
Fucking great.
Maybe you should listen to it.
I just threw a violin.
Blackbeard didn't wanna kill Ned Low himself?
No, you see-- Well, maybe.
But we're a partnership.
We take turns on making our decisions.
That's what we do. It works for us, always has.
Right, Blackbeard?
- Where is he? Ed? - Stede fucking Bonnet!
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
Looks like I got someone all hot and bothered.
Gentlemen Pirate's the fuckin' dude!
You're not wrong.
Ed? I've been looking everywhere for you.
Hey, I'm just getting some air.
Someone tried to kill me, just like you said they would!
But I set them alight
and then I said a cool thing and everyone laughed!
Your first immolation. I'm sorry I missed it.
People are so jazzed! I even got my ear pierced!
It hurt like hell! It's been a great day.
Hey, I'm happy for you. I really am.
You don't sound that happy.
Man, I said to you that I needed to take this slow,
and it's been the complete opposite.
I think last night was a mistake.
I'm not ready for whatever this is.
Well, you know, this can be whatever we want it to be.
I don't even know who I am. Alright? I know I don't wanna be a pirate.
And you. Look at you, you're blowing up, ya know?
You're the toast of the town. Everyone wants a piece--
- Ed, you're panicking! - I'm not panicking. Alright?
And here's the news, I'm leaving.
What?
I got a job on a little fishing boat and I'm leaving.
I'm a fisherman now.
Ed. Seriously?
You're not a fisherman.
I am. I caught a fish. You saw that?
- One fish? - Yeah. You liked that fi--
You said it was a good fish.
It was a fine fish. It was whatever.
- I was just making you feel good! - Whatever? Whatever?
Okay, you know what? Fuck you. No.
If you're not taking my fishing seriously, fine.
Come on, it's not about that!
It's everything about that! It's everything about fishing.
Why don't we just stop now,
before we say something we can't take back.
You're just blowing this up.
Fishermen and pirates are nothing alike.
You're a coward!
- Hey! - What?
What is that doing here?
Queen said she didn't want it in her quarters.
Well, I do not wanna see it here.
Put it below deck. Fuck's sake.
Planks, ahoy! Planks! Authentic!
100% Gentleman Pirate-certified replica planks!
- Anyone for a plank? Yes, sir! Yes, sir! - Over here! Over here!
This is a genuine signature.
Very few of these available. This deal won't last.
The Gentleman Pirate, the genuine article!
- We need more of these, babe. - I'm going as fast as I can
with a missing finger, hon.
Fancy man from Barbados!
Ya know, for another piece of eight,
I can do the back of his head on the front of your torso.
- Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. - I've got all day, buddy.
Some people are afraid of success, but I feel like you guys get me.
You like me for me.
I've only known you a few hours, Bonnet, but I'd fuckin' die for ya.
A bit intense, but I like the feeling.
VIPs only.
Mr. Hands.
Steak Knife. Fuck off a minute.
Fucking off, sir.
Whatever you wanna say, you can say it in front of my friends.
- Fuck off, Bill. - Yes, sir, Mr. Hands.
Bill?
I know what happened. Edward left you.
So this is a victory lap, then?
Might take you a while with your horsey leg.
For the record,
I think you're good for him.
You balance each other out.
Took me a long time to realize that, but I do now.
Fat lot of good it's done us.
Yeah, well.
Ya know what he did when I told him I loved him?
- He shot me. - He shot you. Yeah, I know.
He's a complicated man.
No pressure, but this might be your last shot.
What we talkin' about?
Que valga la pena.
I have a hard time with trust.
You know that saying, "Fool me once, shame on me;
fool me twice, I need to end your life"?
Okay. That's not how that goes.
That's how I was taught.
Look, I'm sorry I left.
Okay? It was just all that stuff about killin' my friends.
- It was a little bit intense. - You don't have to explain.
I
I missed you.
You missed the break in your day.
'Cause that's what you used to say.
I missed the break in my day.
I love when you say that.
Okay.
Let's get you back on the ship. You need it.
Besides, you stay here much longer,
you're gonna end up on the wrong end of a sword.
Look at you, you got all four limbs.
He was concerned
- you were gonna stab him, but-- - So, yeah.
I'm gonna go with Zheng now.
So, thank you for being kinda nosy and crossing boundaries
and, you know what you did.
All good, Pirate Queen.
What's she doing here?
She's recruited half the island.
Well, she better back off my guys.
As I understand it, there might be a bit of room on the ship.
Would we get our own room or?
Don't push it.
I mean, we can also share.
- I mean, we've been doing that-- - Alright.
Oh, I see. We're all friendly now.
Zheng, last we saw each other, you were tryna kill everyone.
Hi, Stede.
Congrats on the Ned Low thing, that's big for you.
Leave my crew alone.
Are you sure they're yours?
They are. We've been through hell together.
This might make things a bit awkward, Cap--
- Stede, but-- - Et tu, Olu?
You're gonna stab me in the back right in front of me?
For her?
I took her entire crew down with chamomile tea!
Let's not do this here.
Do what? We're just talking, aren't we?
Unless, you had something else in mind.
I'm going to pretend you didn't just touch your sword.
Should I pretend you're not poaching my crew?
It's not poaching if they wanna leave.
Maybe go spend some time with your serial killer boyfriend.
Or did he already leave you again?
Oh, damn.
Who told ya that?
Oh, shit, really?
That was a lucky shot, but, yeah, figures.
I got this, boss.
That was really mean.
I'd back up.
- Now, I'll be mean. - Okie-doke.
Steak Knife!
No! What have you done?
Steak! Fight it! Steak-y!
- Draw. - Oh, Bonnet, no.
I'll make this quick.
You're gonna die quickly, are you?
You fight like a towel boy.
I've killed mediocre men.
I've killed exceptional men.
But you're the worst kind:
a mediocre man who thinks he's exceptional.
Thing about being mediocre, no one sees you coming.
Shit.
You got fucked up, bro. You got fucked up.
Hell no!
Oh, hell no! Y'all take this shit outside!
I said, take this shit outside!
Stay down, Stede! Stay down!
Oh, no!
Stede, please don't get up.
Say "mercy" and this all ends.
- Just do it. - Say it.
- Quit. - Say it, Stede.
Merci...
beaucoup.
Is this how you plank someone, Stede?
Am I doing it right?
Well, actually.
Oh, no, no, no.
- Fuck. - Fuckin' hell.
Now the plank walks you!
- Oh, my God! - Oh, God!
This rope is so rough on my tender fingies.
I shouldn't have agreed to do all this.
What if we just, don't?
I'm so relaxed, man. How did ya think of this?
My curl pattern was messed up by the salt air,
I was permanently sunburned,
my toenails were coming through my shoes.
And I said to myself, "Roach, buddy, you need to take care of yourself."
Yeah, that's so, so, so important.
Hey, check this out.
What? What are you doing?