For the first time in my life,
I'm truly and fully present.
I used to view the sea as a battlefield.
But now I can appreciate the bounty it has to offer,
and all of the natural beauty that surrounds it.
I am but a humble wanderer blessed with this feast.
No better than a heron, or a blade of grass,
or some sand,
or, like, I don't know, like, a wave or somethin'.
Even a single fish scale holds majesty.
Mysterious beauty.
I'd like to give thanks to the spirits of the deep
for the wonderful bounty that we caught today.
So many fish, and without really even trying.
I'd also like to pay thanks to
these two simple fishermen before me
who have welcomed me into their simple lives
and shown me their simple ways--
Pop-Pop!
- Call me simple again, I dare you! - Pop-Pop.
What? What have I done to offend you?
You don't work! You don't do anything! You sit on your ass all day!
Oh, well.
I just don't understand. I'll work harder. I'll work faster.
- You have no skills! - Well, you did say you could fish.
I said I caught a fish, once.
Oh, no, Pop-Pop, Pop-Pop, come on. Pop-Pop! Pop-Pop!
We are not simple!
- Get off me, Pop-Pop. - We aren't simple!
- One more time! - Pop-Pop. Calm down, Pop-Pop.
- You calm down! You calm down! - Calm down! Get off me, Pop-Pop!
You control your Pop-Pop. Control your Pop-Pop!
Stop callin' me Pop-Pop! Stop telling him what to do!
You ruined dinner!
I'm sorry if I offended you, Pop-Pop.
I was trying to say a nice thing. Here.
Here, just take your plate.
Hold out your bowl.
Okay, here we go. Here we go.
Okay. Put some of that fish onto yours.
Pop-- Pop-Pop, I'm so-- Pop-- Pop-Pop. Pop-- Pop-Pop.
It's just a fish! It's just a fish!
If you were ever good at anything, go and do that, you bum!
You guys are dicks!
Destroying the Republic of Pirates
and eliminating Zheng and the Eastern threat in one fell swoop.
Yes.
It was rather brilliant, wasn't it?
Well, who'd have thought
little Prince Richard could've pulled this off?
Anyone with half a brain.
Rule Britannia
Britannia rules the waves
Britain never, never, never shall be slaves
Rule Britannia
Britannia rules the waves
Freshen your drink, sir.
Britain never, never, never shall be slaves
Again!
Rule Britannia
Britannia rules the waves
Watch your step.
Never, never, never shall be slaves
If it isn't the great Spanish Jackie.
You know, I should thank you
for making me the man that I am today.
Which makes me think.
Where is my nose, by the by?
I would so love to see the little fellow again.
Get the nose jar. Don't spill any!
Here ya go.
Ah, yes. Disgusting.
Go on. Fetch it for me, please.
You're quite brave to assume the wine hasn't been poisoned.
I've got a contingency for that. A taster.
You want me to taste the--
Zheng? Hello? A farthing for your thoughts?
Morning time!
Morning time! Morning time! Morning tiiime!
You could try thanking me, by the way.
I did pull you to safety.
I pulled you to safety.
Did you? Well, don't wanna split hairs.
The main thing is we're alive.
Who cares?
I failed. Auntie and my whole crew are dead because of me.
Look, I've been a failure my whole life.
It's not so bad once ya get used to it.
Things have a way of working out.
At least for me.
- Don't touch me, Bonnet. - Yeah, sorry. I tried to be--
It was affectionate, but it was weird. It was weird.
- Gems always. - Not always, I'd prefer--
Someone's coming. Zheng! Get up!
Come on!
What have we here?
Looks like a straggler.
Oh, no!
- Get off me! Get off me! - Ring him.
Ring his legs.
You'll regret this!
Alright, genius. Jig's up.
- Or is it? - Another trophy for Prince Richard.
Let's take him to Jackie's.
Well, that went as well as I planned it.
Yeah, you really showed 'em, Bonnet.
Where are you going?
To skin a prince.
Right. Well, let's not underestimate the power of good planning.
Plans are useful.
Stede.
Help!
Oy, these are English waters. No fishing.
Probably lost his hearing when we blew the shit out the place.
Lousy, old fisherman...
If you were ever good at anything, go and do that...
you bum.
Okay, Pop-Pop.
Have it your way.
Hello, friends.
This is bittersweet.
I mean, here we all are at the end of piracy
and you'll all be hung in the next few minutes
and all your stories will be lost for the ages.
Which is a shame because I do love a good pirates' tale.
But don't you worry.
Because I will not be hanging you by the thumbs
like that deranged Captain Kidd.
That's not what he did, you twat.
Oh, my.
The great Izzy Hands.
And you're
Pinocchio?
A new one.
Bring him upstairs.
Sir, aren't we going to hang them?
Oh, yes, but they're not going anywhere.
So I have time for a drink with a legend.
Can't believe I have an audience with the great Israel Hands.
That's absolutely astounding.
I've always thought you were underrated.
I mean, it's absurd, isn't it?
Isn't it? That Blackbeard, he gets all this praise,
when you are quite clearly the brains of this operation?
Ya don't know the first thing about piracy, do ya?
Don't I?
It's not about glory. It's not about gettin' what you want.
It's about belonging to something
when the world has told you you're nothin'.
It's about finding the family to kill for when yours are long dead.
It's about letting go of ego for something larger.
The crew.
Oh, my goodness. You've just grown so tedious.
Brandy.
Here.
Nah, gimme the good stuff.
You'll never believe what I just found.
Listen to this.
"Dear Ed, I long for you."
"Every day we spend apart feels like an eternity.
"I know you don't wanna hear from me, but I write these letters daily,
hoping one will reach you."
-"Hope that's okay." - What's this, then?
Well, I found it in that bottle.
Apparently, some bloke's all hot and bothered about a guy called Ed.
"And I know we're not through."
"I can feel it in my soul."
"A love like ours can't disappear in an instant."
"We're joined to one another. Intertwined."
"We wrote our names on each other in permanent ink."
This is lovely.
You wrote me a lovely letter!
Look, I know you're still upset about the whole Ricky situation,
but we do need to be smart about this.
You don't need to do anything, Stede. I can go die all by myself.
You can't do everything on your own.
You need help.
Your help is about as good as no help at all.
I can do things. I'm not a total loss.
- Charge! - Oh, shit! Let's go!
- We're gonna die together! - Shit. Speak for yourself!
To guards! No, not you!
Ed!
Stede!
Ed!
Stede!
Go!
Stede!
Ed!
I'm sorry I was such a dick.
You weren't a dick. Life's a dick.
I love you. I love you.
I know. I know that.
Hey, guys!
- Who's your friend? - That's Zheng.
- She's super tough. - Guys!
Fuck!
Die, motherfuckers!
For love!
Stop, stop! It's ripping!
- Oh, shit. - It's not strong enough.
- We need those trousers. - No, thank you!
I love these jeans. Stop.
We need someone to pee on the shirt.
It won't tear if it's wet.
Oh, please no. I can't do that in public.
You alright down there, mate?
Sorry. I just gotta check you over.
Oh, my God. Auntie!
- It's nothing. - No. It doesn't look like nothing. Jim!
- I don't need help. - Jim!
Look, it's just a surface wound.
- Jim. - Hey, now what are we lookin' at?
She's lost a lot of blood.
- Okay. - I got plenty of blood.
Yeah. We gotta get that out.
Alright. In three, two, one.
Oh, shit, there you are. Sorry.
Did they get Zheng?
I'm sure she's fine.
Ya know, I've gotta say, all of that swordplay
back there was very impressive.
Thank you. It was really cool when you did that flip
- and you killed those guys. - You saw the flip!
- Dude. - I did some pretty amazing stuff, too.
I don't know whether you caught a lot of it, but wow!
- I caught it. Yeah. - Yeah?
It was incredible, babe.
The spinning around and stuff.
Okay. Yeah, your hand's still strong.
That's really good.
Look, I may have misjudged you, aye?
I was just looking out for Zheng.
Men have cost her too much.
But you're not a man.
You're soft.
She needed more soft in her life and I see that now.
I see that now.
- I just don't do soft. - A little sting.
Maybe just try soft?
And...
Okay!
- I don't do soft. - You don't do soft?
I destroyed the Republic of Pirates and that makes me the ultimate pirate.
You're not a pirate, lad.
You're a spoiled, entitled bunch of twats
dressed in puffy, blue nighties.
Shame, I was going to let you live.
Kill me.
Kill us all.
Our spirit will last throughout your entire fuckin' empire because
we're good.
And you
are a rancid, syphilitic cunt.
Avast, you scoundrels!
There's a lot of them.
Oh, shit, that's-- Is that us doing that?
What the hell was in that brandy?
Nothin' you wanna fuck with.
I ate poison? Am I going to die?
You best believe everybody is poison-trained
- in this household. - We are?
Yeah, baby.
This is for Auntie.
No!
Let me kill him.
- Auntie. - Hey, guys!
- Thank God you're alive. - Hey!
Captain.
You're alive!
Of course, I'm alive.
You took your time getting here.
I was roped into protecting these guys.
So you had help?
Soft, Auntie.
Soft.
Yep. Good job.
I am proud of you.
Thank you.
So we should probably make a plan here.
Still surrounded by English soldiers.
I think a royal hostage could prove valuable.
So, that is the plan.
We all live to fight another day.
Or it's a complete suicide mission.
- Yeah, that's suicide. - Sounds like we're gonna die, bro.
It's only suicide if we die.
Go, go, go.
Hello!
The operation is over now,
so we're just gonna head back to the ships, please.
They are pirates!
- Izzy, you okay? - I'm fine. Fuck off.
We're almost there!
- Move! Let's go! - Vamos!
Go!
Move! Go, go, go!
Help me take him!
Push, Swede, push!
It's okay, okay? Okay?
- He's alright. - Easy, easy, easy.
It's okay. It's okay.
Help. We need help.
Can someone get some fucking help?
I'll take care of it. Roach!
- Let's get bandages. - Yes, Captain.
Great, Bonnet's in charge. I'm definitely fucked.
It's not even that bad.
Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop! Eddie, just...
sit with me, Eddie.
I'm not goin' anywhere.
Ed, I'm sorry.
I've been terrible to you.
- No, I'm sorry. - No.
What are you apologizing for?
I should be the one who's apologizing.
I fed your darkness, Blackbeard.
For years, I egged him on, even though I knew you'd outgrown him,
- but the truth is... - Hey.
I needed him.
Blackbeard, it was us.
- You, me. - Yeah.
But you're good now.
You're ready.
- Stop. - No, just shush.
Izzy, you can't go. You can't leave me.
I wanna go.
No, please. You're my only family.
Oh, fuck off, you twat.
Ed, you're surrounded by family.
They love you, Ed.
No.
Just be Ed.
There he is.
Izzy?
Izz?
Bye, Izzy.
Well, that's that, then.
He was a good one.
Intense. Very intense.
He was a fucking nightmare.
What a guy.
Sorry for your loss.
I'll just say it.
I think we'd be good together.
Kick a lotta ass.
Maybe give him a moment.
Don't you wanna kill the fucker who did this?
Well, yeah, sure.
I wanna kill that same guy, so what if we,
say, teamed up?
The Pirate Queen, Blackbeard.
And we'll need you too, Bonnet.
You're a damn fine pirate.
Really?
Anything in particular ya like about my skill set?
- Hey, let's not do this. - She's said enough.
Take the compliment with grace.
Yep.
Do you vow to protect and, if necessary, kill for each other?
- Absolutely. - Yes.
Do you vow to avenge the other
in the event of your grisly death or dismemberment?
- Definitely. Yes, yes. - A little bit specific, but.
Do you vow to keep each other's ship afloat?
- Yes. Yeah. - Yes. Fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Fuck yeah.
You are officially mateys!
You may now slash each other's faces!
Or kiss or something if you're not into tradition.
- I think a kiss is probably better. - We can kiss.
Okay.
All clear, I think.
Ready to get underway?
Right! Hoist the anchor! Drop the mainsail!
- Love you, babe. - Hey!
It's upside-down.
Be aware of the new Revenge, dawgs!
- Raise the jib! - Raising the jib!
The sky's the limit, baby.
We're gonna rebuild the bar better than ever.
I like the sound of that.
Of course, you do, sugarballs.
So we're innkeepers then?
I thought we might give it a go.
Unless, of course, you're having second thoughts.
I'm not. No.
It's a bit of a shithole. I know.
It's a fixer-upper.
Good bones.
Come on. Let's try and find somethin' to eat.
Maybe there's a feral animal or something
we can cook up for dinner.
I love that idea.
Place just needs a little elbow grease.
Jesus, what is that smell?
Smells of the future, to me.
- Yeah, love that. - Me too,
but we should definitely find out what's making that smell.
Fuck, that's strong!
Maybe we just air it out a bit.
- Twist! Alright. - Come on.
- One more time. One more. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We got it. We got it. Got it!
That should be enough.
- Yeah. That's good. - Who's gonna go?
No, you can all fuck right off.
What about Frenchie? You think he'll fit?
No way. You do it.
Alright. Well...
Through your pops, sweetheart.
Hey, suck your bum in.
Think thin.
You can do it.
Go, Frenchie!