1 00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:05,714 Leslie: Washington, DC. Take a deep breath, Andy. 2 00:00:07,049 --> 00:00:09,635 I mean, you can practically smell the bills becoming laws. 3 00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:10,719 Yeah. 4 00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:13,055 You can taste the sweet sugar of bureaucracy at work. 5 00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:14,741 That building looks like a boob. 6 00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:15,825 Leslie: Yeah, well, it's not. 7 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,410 Andy: Oh, yeah, I know. It's the white house. 8 00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:18,810 No. It's the capitol. 9 00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:21,271 My amazing lover, Ben Wyatt, is here 10 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,665 working on a congressional campaign, 11 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,775 and he took April with him as his intern. 12 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,778 I'm here to visit, but I'm also here to work. 13 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,530 Because I have a very important meeting 14 00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:31,490 where I am going to try to get federal funding 15 00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,534 so we can clean up the Pawnee river. 16 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,035 It's a bit of a fixer-upper. 17 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:39,581 Romantic reunions. Government meetings. Self-guided museum tours. 18 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:42,501 I mean, am I living the dream? I don't know. 19 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,419 Did I alsojust walk past a food truck 20 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,088 and buy myself a waffle sundae? 21 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,214 Yes! 22 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:48,799 Now, take out your guidebook. 23 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:49,984 Oh, ldidn't bring a guidebook. 24 00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:51,301 Oh, I brought you one. You did? 25 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,511 Yeah. Thank you. 26 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:53,637 Now, throw it away, 27 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,682 because Leslie knope is your guidebook. I didn't... 28 00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,895 I didn't mean literally. I had some notes in it. 29 00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:01,270 Okay. Grab the book and let's hit the national mall. 30 00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:03,897 There's a mall? That's awesome. I need to get some flip-flops. 31 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,230 Why are we having a conference room meeting? Leslie's gone. 32 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:30,215 Ron has taken initiative and he is leading the meeting. 33 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,093 He's not joking. 34 00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:36,054 I wanted to let you all know that I will be throwing 35 00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:39,516 the annual parks department employee appreciation barbecue. 36 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:41,538 You're going to throw the Leslie knope 37 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:45,105 employment enjoyment summerslam grill jam fun-splosion? 38 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,607 That's right. 39 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,751 You are going to oversee the Popsicle-eating contest, 40 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:51,945 the slip-and-slide-a-thon, the watermelon carving, the gazpacho-off 41 00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:56,033 and star in a one-woman show about parks rules and regulations? 42 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,284 Parks and dolls! 43 00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:01,496 I got your park right here its name is ramsett park 44 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:05,042 all: And its gates are open from dawn till dark 45 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:08,462 I am not doing any of that, which is the point. 46 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:11,214 Every summer, Leslie throws a barbecue 47 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,342 to thank the parks and maintenance staff. 48 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,093 It's horrifying. 49 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:17,387 Barbecues should be about one thing. 50 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,389 Good shared meat. 51 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,767 There will be no foofy desserts. 52 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,394 There will be no giant soap bubble guns. 53 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,855 There will be no adult men in costumes. 54 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:31,568 And most of all, there will be no Vegetables. 55 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,945 Well, Ron, can we at least have corn on the cob? 56 00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:41,286 Leslie: "In this temple, as in the hearts of the people, 57 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:43,372 "for whom he saved the union, 58 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:46,541 "the memory of Abraham Lincoln is enshrined forever." 59 00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:47,918 Andy, what are you doing? 60 00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:51,171 Have you ever seen any of the national treasure movies? 61 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,482 Everything in this city is a clue. 62 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,007 Nothing in that movie is accurate. 63 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,927 A-ha! A clue. Check it out. 64 00:02:58,095 --> 00:02:59,221 I think that's just gum. 65 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:01,056 How do I know this isn't a treasure map 66 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,259 just waiting to be unfurled? 67 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,934 Because it's gum. 68 00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:06,186 Thatsgunt yeah. 69 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:08,790 So, you can see that the color changes about a third of the way up, 70 00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:11,042 and it's when construction was actually halted on the monument. 71 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,693 Leslie, this is a really cool penis 72 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,056 but Ben and April are meeting us 73 00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,612 at the Smithsonian in 10 minutes. 74 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,030 Let's talk on the way. 75 00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:18,865 1776. A nation was born. 76 00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:19,950 Andy: Which nation? 77 00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:24,371 Chris: I offered Ron a job last month, and he turned me down. 78 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:27,040 And it literally broke my heart. 79 00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:30,419 But now, I see that this is truly where he belongs. 80 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,754 Way to be, Ron! 81 00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,674 You're really getting it done, man! 82 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:38,176 He can't hear me. 83 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,220 Okay, let's begin the barbecue. 84 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,889 Hey, little guy. What are you doing? 85 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,099 Oh, no. 86 00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,393 Everyone? Meet your meat. 87 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,978 No. 88 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,938 Ron. Why are you doing this to us? 89 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:51,565 Well, in my opinion, not enough people 90 00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,233 have looked their dinner in the eyes 91 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:55,152 and considered the circle of life. 92 00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:58,155 This is your dinner. His name is Tom. 93 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:01,241 Burn. Senousw? 94 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,368 No, I understand that it's hilarious. 95 00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:05,412 But that is his given Christian name. 96 00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:07,831 Tom is very smart and incredibly loyal. 97 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,416 He's basically a dog. 98 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,877 A dog we're going to cook, chew, and swallow. 99 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,755 Dude, there's kids around here. Ron: Good point. 100 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,757 Which one of you youngsters wants to help me 101 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,425 drain the blood from this animal? 102 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,361 If you do a good job, I'll give you the bladder. 103 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,220 You can blow it up for a fun play ball. 104 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,430 Hey, Ron. 105 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,533 You're not going to slaughter that pig here, are you? 106 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:27,809 Not to worry. I have a permit. 107 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,022 This just says, "I can do what I want." 108 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:35,984 I am the director of the parks department and this is a park. 109 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,319 It's not a parks thing. 110 00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:40,739 It's against, like, three laws and a dozen health codes. 111 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,075 Fine. 112 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,995 Barbecue is postponed until I can go pick up 113 00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:48,663 some meat from the food 'n' stuff. 114 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,457 Let's go, Tom. 115 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,292 No. Pig Tom. 116 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,774 Leslie: So, I want to see the history of the girl scouts, 117 00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:01,676 and then Lincoln's pocket watch and the first ladies exhibit, 118 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,513 and everything. I want to see everything. 119 00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:05,680 Andy, get down from there. 120 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,700 Hey, Leslie, is this the train from back to the future ill? 121 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,267 Get down from there. I think it is. 122 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:11,770 Hey, buddy. Come on down from there for me, please. 123 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,690 Sir, you protect our nation's history and you're a hero. 124 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:17,567 Yeah. A hero with something to hide. 125 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,361 Like probably a treasure map. 126 00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:21,238 Ah! Hey! It's so good to see you. Hey! 127 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:25,283 Hssogmat to see you, too. Yeah. 128 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,576 Yikes. 129 00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:30,288 Leslie: Okay. Uh, guys? Let's motor. 130 00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:31,873 Guys. Guys. 131 00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:34,042 Let's go get some astronaut ice cream or something. 132 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,961 We were thinking about maybe just... 133 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:38,004 Uh, maybe we were going to go back to... 134 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:39,339 We were going to have sex. 135 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,341 Okay. You look great, April. 136 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:42,902 Sorry, hon. I actually have to go, too. 137 00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:45,086 No, really? I thought maybe we could sightsee together. 138 00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:46,776 I know. I have, like, a thousand meetings. 139 00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:49,766 But I just wanted to come wish you luck before your presentation. 140 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,309 Oh, but you know what you should see 141 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:52,787 while you're here is George Washington's... 142 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,187 Farewell address candle stand. 143 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:55,991 That was the first thing I was going to see. 144 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,607 God, I love you so much. 145 00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,776 Come to my office as soon as you're done. 146 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,111 Okay? Okay. 147 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,697 And it was nice to see you again. 148 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,740 Were you talking to my butt? Yes. 149 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,200 Okay. 150 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,620 Where is Swanson? 151 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,873 Ann, I'm hungry and my legs are tired. 152 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,001 It feels like I just exercised. 153 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,168 Just sit on the ground. 154 00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,295 No, Jerry. 155 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,297 It's dirty and I'm wearing my summer linens. 156 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,464 God, you're such a baby. 157 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,109 Look, I brought a picnic blanket from your house. 158 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,926 That's not a picnic blanket. 159 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,304 That's a merino wool throw for my eames chair. 160 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,388 Donna: Uh-oh. 161 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:31,474 Do I sense trouble in the Haverford-Perkins household? 162 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,726 No such luck, Donna. 163 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:36,146 Ann and Tom, a.K.A. Haverkins, is stronger than ever. 164 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,189 Everyone said it wouldn't last. 165 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,774 And it didn't. 166 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:43,653 Ann: Shocking that our drunken plan to move in together wasn't a success. 167 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,031 Let's move in together. Totally. 168 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,199 No take-backs when we sober up, though, partner. 169 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,201 No take-backs, paflner 170 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,997 after the first day, we realized we had made a huge mistake. 171 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,081 Huge! 172 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,792 However, everyone was being so smug about it, 173 00:06:57,876 --> 00:06:59,312 saying there was no way it would last. 174 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,296 So, we're pretending to still be together. 175 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:04,090 That way, no one gets the satisfaction of being right. 176 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,508 Eventhough they are, but still. 177 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,719 More importantly, I bet Donna $1,000 178 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,429 that we'd be together for another month. 179 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:11,097 I can't stress this enough. 180 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:14,517 If she finds out that we broke up, I'll go bankrupt. 181 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:18,271 Oh, my god. Food.Food. 182 00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:20,273 Yes. I am returned. 183 00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:22,108 No. Not so fast, Shirley. 184 00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:24,611 I just have to thaw the meat, season it, and grill it up. 185 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,255 So, it's going to be a few hours. All: Aw! 186 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,656 No, Ron 187 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:30,033 my tummy's rumbling. It's scary. 188 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,701 Tommy's got the tum-rums. 189 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,703 Ron? Chris traeger feelings update. 190 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:37,040 I am now feeling that your guests are getting a little antsy. 191 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,502 Fine. I'll skip a few steps and speed things up. 192 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:42,671 There you go. Is there at least something to drink? 193 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:43,964 There's beer in the cooler. 194 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,298 What about for the children? 195 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,217 You can get water from that water fountain 196 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,843 and use it to water down the beer. 197 00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:50,679 Why not just give the kids water? 198 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,222 I suppose you could do that. 199 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,723 Now, would everyone please back off 200 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,266 and just let me cook in peace? 201 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,602 These people are soft. 202 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,145 They're grill virgins. 203 00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:01,481 But by the time this day is over, 204 00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,441 they will have been taken by the grill 205 00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:05,151 and delicately and tenderly 206 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:07,654 shown the ways of flavorful meat-love. 207 00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:09,906 Mmm. 208 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,659 The first time is so beautiful. 209 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,435 Leslie: Ben and! Are a power couple, 210 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,330 like the roosevelts or the Clintons. 211 00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:18,999 I've got a big meeting here. 212 00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:21,501 Ben is off running a congressional campaign. 213 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,837 I mean, the only way we could be more awesome 214 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,172 is if we had our own signature dance move. 215 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,842 Oh, wait. We do. Three, four... 216 00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:37,225 I'm Leslie knope. I have a 3:00 with Mr. Jepson. 217 00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:38,435 What's this in reference to? 218 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,936 I'm here to present my application 219 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,063 for the federal riverbed preservation Grant. 220 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:44,315 Oh. Most people just mail their apphcafionsin. 221 00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:46,192 I'm not most people. 222 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:48,379 Well, Mr. Jepson actually had to step out for the day. 223 00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:51,197 You can just add your proposal to that pile there. 224 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,160 Oh. Uh, I'm sorry. I was told I would have 225 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:56,703 a face-to-face meeting with him 226 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,955 so I could make my case for my town. 227 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,319 Does he have office hours, or... 228 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,013 He's unavailable for the rest of the week. 229 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,711 But you can just add the proposal. He'll get to it. 230 00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:07,547 Okay. 231 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:13,219 It's kind of a special application. 232 00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:19,434 You know, there's a cd inside that plays the sound of a babbling river. 233 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,812 And I was going to play that while I gave my presentation. 234 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,856 Uh, I was also going to show a DVD 235 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:27,442 that had some images of frolicking river otters. 236 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,611 You know what? I'll make sure he reads it. 237 00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:30,737 What city is it for? 238 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:32,655 Pawnee. 239 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,950 Is that Pawnee, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, 240 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:38,453 Missouri, Nebraska, Oklahoma, or Texas? 241 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,164 Indiana. Okay. 242 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,752 This is amazing. Look at this. 243 00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,962 This whole place is your office. 244 00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:49,798 Nope. This is my office. 245 00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:51,716 Ben, you're fired. It's my office now. 246 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,135 Boom! You heard the boss. Scram, Wyatt. 247 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,553 Hey. Hey. 248 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:56,638 How did it go? 249 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,098 Um, I think okay. 250 00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,474 Yeah? Okay, I think. 251 00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,684 Well, I have a surprise for you. 252 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:05,772 There's a swanky D.C. cocktail party at the hay-Adams. 253 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:08,066 And I got us all on the list. 254 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,318 Wow, look at you. You're a big shot. 255 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:13,238 Andy: Hey, Benjamin. How fancy is this party tonight? 256 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,950 I mean, is it, like, a shorts or a pants kind of gala? 257 00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:19,410 Pants. Andy: Great. 258 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:22,294 Could we just real quick stop at the nearest place that has free pants? 259 00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:28,002 I know that Ron doesn't want us to eat anything before the meat, 260 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,254 but I smuggled in some candy. 261 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,755 Oh, thank god. I'm starving. 262 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:32,632 Raisins? 263 00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,175 It's nature's candy. 264 00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:38,012 Now, they're basically grapes, so remember to pace yourself. 265 00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:42,559 I can't even follow my own advice. They're so delicious. 266 00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,981 Oh, my god. Did you put glitter in the laundry detergent? 267 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,584 Oh, yeah. I'm experimenting with some new entrepreneurial ideas. 268 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:53,945 That one is called "sparklesuds. Dress loud." 269 00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,030 Tom, will you stop putting glitter in everything? 270 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,508 This morning, you put glitter in the butter. 271 00:10:57,532 --> 00:10:59,367 "Disco dairy. Spread the party." 272 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,619 No, that's not a good idea. That's terrible. 273 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:04,455 Well, the target demographic isn't angry, middle-aged nurses. 274 00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:05,832 Oh, you know what? Shh. Stop it. 275 00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,542 Hey. Hey. 276 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,985 I'm going to get in line for some food. Y'all want anything? 277 00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,379 We're good. We're really good. 278 00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:13,422 No, just spending a little time with my baby girl. 279 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,676 Get off me. 280 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,990 Andy: There's so much free food at this party, honey. 281 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,432 I love politics. 282 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,601 Look. I made a shrimp claw. 283 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,102 I'm really proud of you, babe. 284 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,496 Now, put your used plate in my purse. 285 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,664 I almost have a complete set. 286 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,356 Really? Oh, my god. You're so smart. 287 00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,025 Kate: They say it will pass, 288 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,819 but we'll only get $400 million instead of $900. 289 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,654 Kate works at the Pentagon, 290 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:39,115 and Lacey works for Eric cantor. 291 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,283 What do you do, leshe? 292 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:43,077 I was just recently elected. I'm a councilwoman. 293 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:44,913 Local government is so important. 294 00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:47,290 My grandma is on the city council in her town. 295 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:48,973 It gives her a reason to leave the house. 296 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:51,836 Where did you say you were from? 297 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,087 It's called Pawnee. 298 00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,380 Pawnee, Missouri? 299 00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,883 Oh, my. That is so random. 300 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,219 I've been there. It's totally cute. 301 00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:01,846 Pawnee, Indiana. Pawnee, Missouri, is a total crap-hole. 302 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,934 Ben and I both did some amazing things today. 303 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:09,312 He scored a victory for the congressional campaign he's working on. 304 00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:14,067 And I was mistaken for Beverly d'Angelo by a Japanese tourist. 305 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:17,654 So, pretty big day for both of us. 306 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,658 Ron, can I have a burger? I'm hungry. 307 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,701 For the last time no burgers yet. 308 00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,703 I've got ribs and I've got beef cheek. 309 00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:28,373 Ron, where are my vegan soy patties? 310 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,208 I gave them to the kids. They love them. 311 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,771 They're skipping them across the pond. 312 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,520 Donna, I've got to go to the boys' room. 313 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,546 Can I have a ride in your car? Absolutely not. 314 00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:36,881 This barbecue stinks. 315 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,549 I'm saying it. It stinks. 316 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,134 Do you have any plates or anything? 317 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:41,779 I mean, how are we supposed to eat these rumps? 318 00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,554 Ron, if no one takes me to the bathroom, 319 00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:44,990 I'm just going to have to go in the trees. 320 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:47,558 All right. Forget it. 321 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,353 You have ruined a perfectly good barbecue 322 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,689 with your demands and chatter. 323 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,942 Enjoy the rest of your evening. 324 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,872 Does anybody feel like they can't breathe? 325 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,100 I think I need some fresh air. 326 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,292 We're outside. 327 00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:13,543 God, these women. 328 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,212 They're so smart and accomplished and pretty. 329 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,382 And they're tall. Why are they all so tall? 330 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:22,468 It's like c-span and neiman Marcus had kids or something. 331 00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:24,780 Hey. So, there's a couple more people I want you to meet. 332 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,223 Oh, great. I can't wait to meet, like, five more tall women. 333 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,142 Ben: Excuse me, senators? 334 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:31,352 Ben Wyatt, from congressman Murray's campaign? 335 00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:33,396 Ben, I remember you from the Kennedy center. 336 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:36,065 That's right. I wanted to introduce my friend, Leslie knope. 337 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,776 Senators Barbara boxer and Olympia snowe. 338 00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,528 Pleasure to meet you. How do you do? 339 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:41,863 So, Leslie, what do you do? 340 00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:45,116 I am a city councilwoman from Pawnee, Indiana. 341 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,635 But you've probably never heard of us. 342 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,779 We're small and unimportant. 343 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:49,579 I'm sure that's not true. 344 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,914 But it is. We've got tons of problems. 345 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,834 We're overrun with raccoons and obese toddlers. 346 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,252 Anyway, I'm probably boring you. 347 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,630 I just wanted to say that you are my role models 348 00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:02,717 and you are incredibly amazing women, 349 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,040 and it is an honor to meet you, 350 00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:06,679 and I really respect your grace under pressure. 351 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,890 And thank you for your time. 352 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:13,519 Excuse me, senators. 353 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:17,940 Uh, Leslie? 354 00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,109 Hello? 355 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,819 What's going on? Nothing. 356 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,571 I'm just tired. Okay? 357 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,698 I saw 24 historical sites in a day. 358 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:28,659 And it's 120 degrees out with 200% humidity, 359 00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:30,286 because this is a stupid swamp town. 360 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,829 Okay. That would make anyone cranky. 361 00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:33,748 Okay. I'm not cranky. 362 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:36,876 I thought you'd enjoy meeting numbers 4 and 26 363 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,628 on Leslie's list of amazing women. 364 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,171 I do. I did. 365 00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,091 You're the most amazing boyfriend ever. 366 00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:44,651 And if you don't get out of here soon, 367 00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:46,035 I'm going to punch you in the face. 368 00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,805 Journal needs a quote for the profile. 369 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:52,225 It's fine. Just go. 370 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,768 I'll see you at your apartment later. 371 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,147 This is Ben Wyatt. 372 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:03,444 Excuse me. I just need to get my coat here. 373 00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:05,113 Could you give me a minute here, please? 374 00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:08,449 Are you okay? Can I get you anything? 375 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:09,742 I would like you to just leave 376 00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,786 and give me a little privacy here, please. 377 00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:12,954 All right. I'm sorry. 378 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:14,914 I hope everything's okay. 379 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,877 Nosy people have no respect for personal space. 380 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:26,134 Ann. What the hell? 381 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,804 I put glitter in all your moisturizers and lotions. 382 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,223 I'm calling it "sparkleskin by Annie. 383 00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,600 "Twinkle, twinkle, big star." Ann. 384 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,437 That is an amazing idea, and I will buy it from you. 385 00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:38,563 But never do that again. 386 00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,126 That was really expensive moisturizer. 387 00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:42,024 Yeah, well, you ruined all of my clothes. 388 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,527 Well, then, I did you a huge favor, because they stink. 389 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,154 Are you serious? Yes. 390 00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:47,738 Oh, hello, lovers. 391 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:50,741 Tom. You're amazing. 392 00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:52,702 Kiss me more. 393 00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:54,704 Uh-huh. All right. Enough of this. 394 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,827 Y'all broke up a long time ago, didn't you? Tom: No. 395 00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,583 We're stronger than ever. So... 396 00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:01,252 It's all right. I'm going to let y'all have this one. 397 00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:04,505 As someone who has lied a lot about various aspects 398 00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,174 of a myriad of relationships, 399 00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:08,176 I respect the effort you've gone to. 400 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:09,719 Let's call off the bet. 401 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,053 Thanks, Donna. 402 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,305 No problem. 403 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,849 I guess that's it. Yep. 404 00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:16,726 The end of a relationship, 405 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,228 and the beginning of a partnership. 406 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,521 Let's talk sparkleskin. 407 00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:23,274 Do we know anyone in product development over at sephora? 408 00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:24,817 Goodbye, Tom. 409 00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:27,904 Here's a picture of me and April making out in her apartment. 410 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:31,657 Here's a picture of us making out in Ben's office. 411 00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:34,076 This is a picture of... This is us making out... 412 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,721 I don't know where that is, but you can tell that 413 00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:36,871 she's sucking on my lip. 414 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:39,790 Traveling. 415 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,375 Making out... you okay, boss? 416 00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:42,919 No, not really. 417 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,063 I know I should be focusing on this river cleanup, 418 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,672 but all I keep thinking about is Ben 419 00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:48,966 laughing in a helicopter with hot Rebecca. 420 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,177 Who's hot Rebecca? 421 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,763 She's just this jealousy amalgam I created. 422 00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:57,475 I combined all of the giant, dark-haired 423 00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:59,101 smartphone power goddesses 424 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:01,521 into one woman called hot Rebecca. Oh. 425 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:04,023 I mean, Ben's life is filled with senators 426 00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:05,775 and briefings and super pacs. 427 00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:08,778 I can't even get a meeting with some bureaucrat. 428 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,239 Yeah. I don't know what a bureaucrat is. 429 00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:14,450 Everything is going to be fine with you and Ben 430 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:18,913 because if I know Ben, he, too, is an amalgam. 431 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:20,039 Yeah. 432 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,917 Point is you're better than hot Rebecca. 433 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:24,502 You're kickass Leslie. 434 00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:27,547 Long distance relationships are never easy, 435 00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,174 but you never, ever give up on stuff. 436 00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,218 Thanks. 437 00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:33,427 That's what makes you... 438 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,221 Nope. ._ananuflgam. 439 00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:36,639 Nailed it. 440 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:39,517 Ron, a word? 441 00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:40,977 Mmm. 442 00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,354 Are you aware of what's going on out in your department? 443 00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:44,438 I am. 444 00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:47,525 My department is pouting because I didn't put on a puppet show 445 00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:50,278 based on the funniest email chain of the year. 446 00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:51,797 I would have liked to have seen that show. 447 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:54,073 My nomination was "Jerry accidentally 448 00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:56,617 "forwards his bank statement to everyone." 449 00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:59,704 Classic. And depressing. 450 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:04,083 The point of a barbecue is not to do hokey office-joke theater. 451 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:05,793 The point is... 452 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,671 The point of the barbecue was to thank the department. 453 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,340 It was an employee appreciation barbecue. 454 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,801 Ron, lgave you the chance 455 00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:15,928 to become assistant city manager, 456 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:19,140 and you chose to stay here, which is fine. 457 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:21,392 But if you're going to lead the department, 458 00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:24,020 you occasionally havetolead the department. 459 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,356 And I say that as one of your closest colleagues 460 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,733 and dearest friends. 461 00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:31,944 But also as your boss. 462 00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:37,450 I went to our nation's capital this weekend 463 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:41,454 in order to apply for a federal Grant to clean up our city's river. 464 00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:44,248 But things move pretty slow in Washington, 465 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:45,750 and I'm not going to wait around. 466 00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:48,294 And I was recently reminded by someone 467 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,129 that I'm not the type of person 468 00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,131 to shy away from hard work. 469 00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:56,552 What? Did I... do you need something from me right now? 470 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,970 No. No. Never mind. 471 00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:01,390 Point is I'm going to clean up this river by myself. 472 00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:05,061 Every Saturday from 8:00 am. To 10:00 am, I will be here. 473 00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,396 Those are my office hours. 474 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,814 If you want to come and talk to me 475 00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,650 or ask me questions or raise an issue, 476 00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:12,151 this is where I'll be. 477 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,403 Let's get to work, Pawnee. 478 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,221 Oh, my god. The smell is so much worse when you get up close. 479 00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:20,534 Yeah. Oh! Look. A handgun! 480 00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:21,786 I call it! Holy... 481 00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:22,995 Whoa! 482 00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:25,956 Everyone, get in here now! 483 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,253 Your work is appreciated. 484 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:32,672 Eat some corn. 485 00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:34,298 Ann: Thanks, Ron. Thank you, Ron. 486 00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:35,525 Tom: Thanks, Ron. Thanks, Ron. 487 00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,218 Also, here's Tom. 488 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,220 Ah! 489 00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:43,057 It actually smells really delicious. 490 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:44,433 It really does. 491 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:47,269 Give me some of Tommy's ribs. Jerry: Oh, heck, yeah. 492 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,479 Ann: Sorry, Tom. 493 00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:50,064 Donna: Oh, my god. Tom: That's good. 494 00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:53,651 I mean, if I had known it didn't go well with the guy from interior... 495 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:55,611 No, no, no. You did nothing wrong. 496 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:58,322 I am so happy for you, and how much everyone loves you 497 00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,408 and how great you're doing. 498 00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:02,576 I just freaked out. I'm sorry. 499 00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:03,703 Long distance sucks. 500 00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:06,455 It does. But we can do this, right? 501 00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:08,958 Yeah, definitely. 502 00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,501 Can you come visit next month? 503 00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,378 We can take a proper tour of the sights. 504 00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,381 There's only one sight I want to see right now. 505 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:19,552 All right. I mean, this is getting weird. But, there it is. 506 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,555 I meant the Jefferson memorial, you perv! 507 00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:26,475 Right. Sorry. Sorry. I don't... I'm just... 508 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:28,936 Wait. No, you didn't. 509 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:30,521 No, I didn't. 510 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,690 Spin it around and back it on up. 511 00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:33,941 All right. 512 00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:38,070 The white house, america's most whitest house. 513 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:42,032 Most notably is where Sinbad lived in the film, first kid. 514 00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:43,451 Sinbad. Wow. 515 00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:46,120 The other tour guide never said anything about that. 516 00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:49,039 Do you know why it's called the oval office? 517 00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,499 Because of a man. 518 00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,543 Oval redenbacher. 519 00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:54,086 What? The popcorn inventor. 520 00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,088 He used to hang out with John F. Kennedy. 521 00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:58,215 Excuse me. Attention, everyone! 522 00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,759 This tour guide is the most amazing 523 00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:01,343 tour guide there ever was. 524 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,345 Please. Step up. 525 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,431 $200 cash up front.