1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:06,131 Announcer: Support for Pawnee community radio comes from listeners like you. 2 00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:08,884 And from the new film the shadows of seven heads, 3 00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:12,012 the dramatic tale of an Israeli soldier who falls in love 4 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:16,683 with conjoined palestinian sextuplets. Out soon from focus features. 5 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:20,812 Welcome to thought for your thoughts. I'm your host, derry murbles, 6 00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:23,482 sitting in for Nina joplin, who is touring 7 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:26,735 the country performing a spoken-word opera 8 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,695 about pear-shaped women. 9 00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:34,660 My guest today is city councilwoman Leslie knope. 10 00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,328 It is a pleasure to be back, derry. 11 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:40,457 Your show last week on dolphin lactation 12 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,000 was just riveting radio. 13 00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:45,879 Derry, my team and I are trying to build a park. 14 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:50,050 And we need input on the design from you, 15 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:51,385 the citizens of Pawnee. 16 00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:54,930 So, I guess I'm here to send out the bat signal. 17 00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:58,225 A bat signal, for listeners who might not know, 18 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:02,688 refers to the children's character, the Batman, 19 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:06,775 a strong gentleman who fights crime nocturnally. 20 00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,235 That's correct. Well put. 21 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:11,780 This park is going to be a celebration of Pawnee, 22 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,825 by Pawnee, and for Pawnee. 23 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:18,787 So, you know, send in your plan or your resume. 24 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:21,832 And quick. Please hurry. 25 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,851 This is all going to fall apart if you don't hurry. 26 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:27,921 Coming up after the break, movie reviews with Ken Tucker, 27 00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,382 who is filling in for David bien-cooley, 28 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,926 who is in New York filling in for Ken Tucker. 29 00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:36,430 Leslie, would you like to introduce the next segment? 30 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:37,514 Okay. 31 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:41,393 Now, it's time for jazz plus jazz equals jazz. 32 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,396 Today, we have a recording of Benny Goodman, 33 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:47,482 played over a separate recording of miles Davis. 34 00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:56,199 Research shows that our listeners love jazz. 35 00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:21,516 Leslie: All right. So, this is a letter 36 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,144 from what looks like a federal penitentiary. 37 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,813 "Here is a model of what I thought the park could look like. 38 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,899 "Also, I am innocent. Please find me a lawyer." 39 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,026 Ben: Oh. Leslie: I'm getting kind of worried. 40 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:34,196 I mean, we have not received one usable idea so far. 41 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,239 Hang on. Look at this guy. 42 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,534 Thirty years of experience. Got a degree in architecture 43 00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:43,372 from the royal Danish academy of fine arts in Copenhagen. 44 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,623 Wow. 45 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:49,461 Beautiful fountain? Perfectly manicured shrubbery? 46 00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:52,506 This is, like, parks department porn. This guy is great. 47 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,883 I don't care if he's some junkie war criminal pimp. 48 00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,301 I am not going to change my mind. 49 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:58,970 His name is wreston St. James. He's from eagleton. 50 00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,347 Oh, I've changed my mind. 51 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:01,932 I'm not being melodramatic when I say 52 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,975 that people from eagleton are snobby and evil, 53 00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:05,203 and they look down on Pawnee. 54 00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:06,371 And they would most likely exterminate 55 00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:07,580 everyone who isn't from eagleton 56 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,981 if they weren't so busy being obsessed with themselves. 57 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:12,067 God, that was close. 58 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,544 Sometimes, when I rant about eagleton, 59 00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,487 I forget to breathe, and I pass out. 60 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:19,241 No. We cannot have someone from eagleton design a park for Pawnee. 61 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:22,536 We have had a blood feud that has lasted for 200 years. 62 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:23,829 We don't have a lot of time. 63 00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:26,289 And he is the first decent candidate. 64 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,250 So, let's at least go meet the guy. 65 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:31,211 Yeah, that's a good idea. Then, we can reject him face-to-face. 66 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,796 I like your plan. 67 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:38,385 Tom: Friends, former lovers, acquaintances, Jerry. 68 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,221 I introduce you to the future home of... 69 00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,223 Rent a swag. 70 00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:44,307 Ann: Yikes. 71 00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,017 Much like women in '90s stand-up 72 00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,603 comedy routines, Tommy be shopping. 73 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:51,106 I started a business where I rent my fancy clothes to teens, 74 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:52,417 so their parents don't have to buy them 75 00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:53,881 nice things they'll just grow out of. 76 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,527 So, if you see a 14-year-old kid 77 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,279 wearing a Louis Vuitton cravat, 78 00:03:57,696 --> 00:04:00,198 you know who to thank. Me. 79 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,784 And Louis Vuitton, for making some dope-ass cravats. 80 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:07,914 Son, I love wildlife. But is a store the best place for it? 81 00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:09,082 Help. 82 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:10,309 Yeah. The place needs some work. 83 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:14,713 But this is a great location. Lots of foot traffic. No metered parking. 84 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,757 And it's well within my fiscal range. 85 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,217 Good use of the word "fiscal," Tommy. Very upscale. 86 00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:21,386 Very impressive. Watching you gives me 87 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,555 faith that anyone can reinvent themselves. 88 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:25,474 Tommy Timberlake is dead. 89 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:28,351 Long live Thomas m. Haverford, responsible tycoon. 90 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:31,021 Help. I can't move. 91 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:33,982 I know. 92 00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,026 Leslie: He designed this place? What a dump. 93 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,277 Wreston: Ben. Leslie, hi. 94 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,781 Wreston St. James. Thank you so much for coming. 95 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:41,865 Well, thank you. 96 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,628 Well, what do you think of our newest park? 97 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,994 Meh. In a word, underwhelming. 98 00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:48,371 And a little inconvenient. There's no trash cans anywhere. 99 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,808 What am I supposed to do with my garbage, just throw it on the ground? 100 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:53,585 Oh, hey! Thank you for the trash. 101 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:56,755 Mr. St. James, I have to say, this park is incredible. 102 00:04:56,838 --> 00:05:00,675 Thank you. Its official name is five-mile grounds, 103 00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:03,804 butwe like to call it wide smiles abound. 104 00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:06,264 Because of all the smiles that occur? 105 00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:07,766 That's so boring. 106 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,202 Well, come on. I'll take you guys on a little tour. 107 00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:11,102 Great. He seems super cool. 108 00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:13,814 Yeah, he seems cool. Just you wait. 109 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:16,083 Leslie: Well, they always wine and dine you first. 110 00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:18,568 But the fact of the matter is, eagletonians are, 111 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,571 without exception, snobby, condescending jerks. 112 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:25,116 This is the Pawnee side of our border with eagleton. 113 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,993 And this is the eagleton side. 114 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,916 Oh, god. 115 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,167 Hey, babe, it's me. 116 00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:35,812 Will you come down here, please, and keep me company? 117 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,295 I'm so bored. I need you. 118 00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:39,923 April: Ifl come down there, can I at least break something? 119 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,967 Of course, baby. Anything, you know that. 120 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,343 Chris gave me this great job 121 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:45,026 as a weekend security guard at city hall. 122 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:47,556 Only one problem. It's a terrible job. 123 00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,119 I did everything I was supposed to do, 124 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,660 and I walked around the building four times. 125 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,435 Only 20 minutes has gone by. 126 00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:55,814 Ugh, I thought maybe 10 minutes had gone by since I started talking, 127 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,732 but it's only been 15 seconds. 128 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,529 Oh, babe, thank god you're here. 129 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:05,282 I got so bored, I started thinking about existence. 130 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,701 Do I matter? Do any of us? 131 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,787 Is there a master plan in the works? A grand design? 132 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,247 Just dumb stuff like that. 133 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,498 Yeah. Who cares? 134 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,418 I thought being a security guard would be exciting. 135 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,211 Nope. 136 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:20,505 Wait a minute. 137 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:24,259 Isn't this how all great Bert macklin cases start? 138 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,471 It's quiet. 139 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,808 A little too quiet. 140 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,286 Wreston: As you can see, we like to keep things quite immaculate. 141 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:36,980 I remember when Pawnee had that 142 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,482 massive sewage overflow in circle park. 143 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,651 Whatever happened with that? We totally fixed it. 144 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,194 Well, except for the smell. Ah. 145 00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:46,489 The scientists think it's going to linger for another 40 years. 146 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,325 Can we just cut to the chase here? 147 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:51,745 Why would a fancy eagleton architect like you 148 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,997 want to design a tiny Pawnee park? 149 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,665 Well, I heard your plea on the radio, 150 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,584 and you were so passionate about the project. 151 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,687 It doesn't matter if it's a giant park like this, 152 00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:01,087 or a little tiny pocket park. 153 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:04,758 It's about the people. We're here to serve them. 154 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,301 Balloon artisan: Hey, Mr. St. James? 155 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,887 Oh, our balloon artisan is out of balloons. Excuse me. 156 00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:10,388 There you go, kid. 157 00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,265 I have chills. Look at my arm. 158 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,184 Why are you so charmed by him? 159 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,495 You're like a southern belle when Rhett Butler comes around. 160 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:19,814 Yes. Rhett Butler. That's who he reminds me of. Or bono. 161 00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:20,899 What? 162 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,068 No one from eagleton has ever wanted to 163 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,528 help anyone from Pawnee for any reason. 164 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,073 In 1988, we were hit by a tornado. 165 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:31,493 We asked eagleton for help and they claimed they weren't home. 166 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:35,497 An entire town claimed they weren't home. 167 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,082 I don't trust that guy for a second. 168 00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:40,085 Leslie. Look what wreston commissioned from the balloon artisan. 169 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,586 It's us. 170 00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:49,135 Great work, team. Donna, you and your work 171 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:50,804 are ravishing as usual. 172 00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,889 Ann, great organizational skills. 173 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,724 Wow. Genuine praise. 174 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:58,061 It's a tip I picked up from Lee iacocca's autobiography. 175 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:01,231 "A small connection between you and your workers helps build loyalty." 176 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,983 Jerry, how's the old ticker? 177 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:06,111 Oh, well, the rehab is grueling... great! 178 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:09,030 Glad to hear it. Yo, Roomba! Drop a beat! 179 00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,824 Roomba: Hi-ho, hi-ho... 180 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,951 Renta swag is going to be the opposite 181 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,285 of entertainment 720. 182 00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,246 This is my last chance. 183 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:20,041 If this goes down in flames, I will have nothing. Except my looks. 184 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:22,502 I can always pimp myself out to hot older ladies. 185 00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,129 I need to remember that. 186 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:28,425 May, 1817. A scrappy group of frontiersmen and women 187 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,510 arrive at a hardscrabble chunk of land, 188 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,971 and call it Pawnee, Indiana. 189 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,015 We owe them a debt of gratitude. Mmm. 190 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:38,101 June, 1817. The richest among them 191 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,664 take all of their money from the bank, 192 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:42,564 and then flee up the hill like cowards to form eagleton. 193 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:47,235 Recognize any of your ancestors among the meanies? 194 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,237 Actually, like most people from the area, 195 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,531 I have ancestors on both sides. 196 00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,158 That's why I think this rivalry is just 197 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,909 a little silly and self-defeating. 198 00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:56,369 Yeah. You may not know this, 199 00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,204 but Leslie was actually born in eagleton. 200 00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,415 Do not blame me for the sins of my mother. 201 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:04,169 Look, Ms. Knope. I'm really trying here. 202 00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:08,465 But I just don't know if our working together is such a great idea. 203 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,592 Ah. Running away so soon. Typical. 204 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,361 You know, say what you want about pawneeans, 205 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,803 but we never give up. 206 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,848 We have a mural called the many surrenders of Pawnee. 207 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,571 Oh, look who's paying attention to me now. 208 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,935 Okay, can I speak to you privately for a minute? 209 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:25,732 My name is special agent Bert macklin. Tell me who you are, 210 00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,543 who you work for, and don't bother trying to lie to me, 211 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,818 because I'm amazing. 212 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,945 My name is Judy Hitler, 213 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:33,823 and I am the spoiled only daughter of Adolf. 214 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:37,285 And I'm going to tell my daddy you were mean to me, Bert macklin. 215 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:40,455 He's not going to like it very much. So, untie me. 216 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,040 Nice try, miss Hitler. 217 00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:43,541 But you have something that I want. 218 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,877 Where's the necklace with all of Germany's war secrets? 219 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,504 I don't know what you're talking about. 220 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,172 I think you do. I don't! 221 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:53,593 Now, you give me that war-ending necklace, 222 00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,762 or I will resort to torture. 223 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:56,971 Fine. 224 00:09:57,180 --> 00:10:00,058 I will show you where it is, damn it. 225 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:01,643 You're too good, macklin. 226 00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:05,063 Don't you do it, Hitler. Don't you dare fall in love with me. 227 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,109 Oh, Hitler, you sexy bastard. 228 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,069 Yes. 229 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:18,952 I am just filled to the brim with questions. 230 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,579 Why are you using this wood? Is it more pliable? 231 00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:24,374 What are these metal latches? Are they copper or brass? 232 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,126 Is one better? And if so, why? 233 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,587 If I tell you, then you won't have learned anything. 234 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:35,135 Another in along line of lessons from the great Ron Swanson. 235 00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:39,097 My therapist, Dr. Richard nygard, suggested that I try 236 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,057 some non-exercise-based hobbies. 237 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:44,727 So, I've been studying woodworking with Ron. 238 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:49,315 I made this. Before I started, it was bigger. 239 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:53,403 Here. I have designed something very important. 240 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:54,964 Why don't you start work on that right away? 241 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:55,989 Yes, sir. 242 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:58,992 It's a flight of stairs that leads to nowhere. 243 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:03,580 Were you listening to him when he was talking about serving the public, 244 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,456 and making our communities better? 245 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,292 I mean, you know who he sounds like, right? 246 00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,419 Yes. Idi amin. Or lord Voldemort. 247 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,255 No. You. Now, you've been very rude to him, 248 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:14,924 and you need to apologize. Ha, ha, ha. 249 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,552 You are a laugh riot, Ben. I am never going to apologize 250 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:18,720 to someone from eagleton. 251 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,388 All right. So, you can kiss your park 252 00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,806 and four years of work goodbye. 253 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:22,891 Upto you. 254 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,351 Come on. You can do it. 255 00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:26,853 I don't want to. 256 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,479 You can do it. 257 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:33,151 Mr. St. James, this has been a strange day. 258 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,777 Uh, butwe wouldn't want to leave you 259 00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,613 with the wrong impression of Pawnee. 260 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,740 Have you guys seen Hitler? 261 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:45,997 Anyway, we would love to have you design the park. 262 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,957 And in the spirit of reconciliation, 263 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,918 Leslie would like to apologize. 264 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,212 I may have allowed my prejudices, 265 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,422 my totally legitimate prejudices 266 00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:55,798 against eagleton 267 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:58,885 affect my feelings towards your involvement in this project. 268 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,846 And so, therefore, I would like to say that I'm... 269 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:08,228 I'm Leslie knope. 270 00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,938 No, that's not what I want to say. 271 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:12,774 Okay. I'm... 272 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:14,943 Sss... 273 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,737 My mouth is kind of dry. Mmm. 274 00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:20,531 My mouth is dry, this is Canada dry. 275 00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:22,092 Drink Canada dry if your mouth is dry. 276 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,117 That's nothing. 277 00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:27,497 What I want to say is I'm... sss... 278 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:33,795 You're a human being. You're a human being. You can just say... 279 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:36,631 Oh, my god. 280 00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:39,175 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 281 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,011 I'm very sorry that I was rude. 282 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,806 No, it's too soon. You know what? 283 00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,975 As a gesture of goodwill, I'd like to waive my fee. 284 00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:49,102 I'll design the park pro bono. 285 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:51,771 Thank you. That's very nice of you. 286 00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,315 I've been working up a little model of the design. 287 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,794 Why don't I bring it over and we could all go through it together? 288 00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,538 Great. And then you can come to our wedding. 289 00:12:58,569 --> 00:12:59,570 What? 290 00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:02,365 It's in may, and we haven't planned it yet. But save the date. 291 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,426 I was never here. 292 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:15,211 Well done, team. What do you think of the place? 293 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,046 Do you really like this yellow paint? 294 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:20,341 I mean, I know it was on sale, but it looks a lot like dried phlegm. 295 00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,135 Donna: For real, Tom. This place is sad. 296 00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:24,405 I think one of the mannequins tried to commit suicide. 297 00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:28,182 I think what's important is we all had a goal, and we achieved it. 298 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:29,517 So, you like the place? 299 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:30,893 Oh, no. It's quite terrible. 300 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:34,981 This is the best I can do for now. And I'm $46 under budget. 301 00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:37,942 Now, I have a small treat for you guys, for all your hard work. 302 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,610 Pizza party! 303 00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,613 One small pizza for all of us. 304 00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:43,781 With no toppings. 305 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,950 Cheese is a topping, Jerry. 306 00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,761 And why are these lights blaring, by the way? 307 00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:50,246 Does someone here own stock in the electric company? 308 00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:52,874 Hmm. 309 00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:57,253 If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party. 310 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,921 Ha, ha, ha. Youcantrun, hhmr 311 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:02,008 82nd airborne is everywhere. 312 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,676 History channel. 313 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,511 Andy: Oh, ho, ho. What is this? 314 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:08,848 A child spy, sent to steal the necklace? 315 00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,975 Bert macklin, FBI! Freeze! 316 00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,769 I didn't do anything. 317 00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:14,729 Yeah. Bad call, Bert. 318 00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,647 Uh-oh. Oh, hey. I'm just kidding, buddy. 319 00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:18,858 I'm just playing around. My name's really Andy dwyer. 320 00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,693 I'm a security guard. What's your name? 321 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:24,072 Joey. I was with my mom, and I got lost. 322 00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:25,865 Oh, well, gosh. Don't worry about that. 323 00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,950 I've gotten lost here about 500 times, 324 00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:29,535 and I work here. 325 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,412 What do you say we go find your mom, huh? 326 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:37,627 She's not in there, I bet. Let's try this way. 327 00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:41,005 Hello? Ms. Knope? Mr. Wyatt? 328 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,590 We're from wreston St. James' firm. 329 00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:45,426 Oh, hey. Come on in. Where's wreston? 330 00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:47,154 He's on his way. He wanted us to get started. 331 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:50,431 Aw. Uh, well, okay. I guess, go ahead. 332 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:54,227 We present the crown Jewel of Pawnee. 333 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:57,980 Containing the sights, sounds, and most importantly, 334 00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,108 smells that define your city. 335 00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:01,431 There are several drool buckets 336 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,319 for your more slack-jawed citizens. 337 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,905 We also have food troughs full of cheeseburgers 338 00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:07,740 and public showers. 339 00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,785 With instructions, for those who've never showered before. 340 00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:13,496 You have five seconds to get out of here, 341 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,581 or I will rip your throats out. 342 00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:17,500 Out. Now! 343 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,628 Oh, hey. My backyard is bigger than your park. So... 344 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,923 Stay back. Stay back. 345 00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:32,014 I told you that eagletonians are awful, terrible people. 346 00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:34,934 They call their boogers "Pawnee caviar." 347 00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:37,728 I'm on your side, and I'm furious, too. 348 00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:39,939 But this just doesn't make sense to me. 349 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,142 I'm going to talk to wreston 350 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,668 and I'm going to get to the bottom of this. 351 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,444 Yeah, any excuse to talk to wreston. 352 00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:46,446 Well, I am going to think about a revenge plan. 353 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,216 I know what we're gonna do. We're gonna find out where he lives, 354 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,509 we're gonna drive to his house, we're gonna 355 00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:51,951 set it on fire, and watch it burn. 356 00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:53,286 Leslie, we can't do that. 357 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,872 You're right. We can't. 358 00:15:57,582 --> 00:16:01,669 All right. So, does this look familiar? 359 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,129 No, not at all. 360 00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,338 I was talking to Joey. 361 00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:05,423 Mommw Joey! 362 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:09,385 There you are. Oh, god, I was so worried. 363 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,805 Thank you so much. You'll never know how much I appreciate it. 364 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:14,515 Just doing my job, ma'am. 365 00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:18,644 Thank you for saving me, Andy. Thank you, too, miss Hitler. 366 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,229 What? Don't worry about it. 367 00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:23,733 Wow. You made those losers very happy. 368 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,152 Oh, no, I didn't. Bert macklin did. 369 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,403 FBI. No. 370 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,740 No, actually, Bert macklin kind of made that little boy cry. 371 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,926 Well, he's a rogue agent who refuses to play by the rules. 372 00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:37,163 Seriously, I think Andy dwyer makes a better real cop than Bert macklin. 373 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:40,416 Maybe it's time for Bert macklin to hang up his shades. 374 00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:44,188 Can I get you something to drink? 375 00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:47,173 Iced tea, please. And, can I ask you... 376 00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:49,217 How are there palm trees here? 377 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,177 Well, eagleton lies on top of a hot spring, 378 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,387 which creates a micro-climate zone. 379 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,057 We are truly blessed. 380 00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,519 God, I am so sorry I'm late. 381 00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:00,811 What the hell happened, man? 382 00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:03,856 I had nothing to do with that stupid prank. 383 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,417 In fact, that's why I'm late. I was firing 384 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:06,859 the two people who were responsible, 385 00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,504 and I was escorting them out of the building. 386 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:09,779 Well, good. 387 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,405 Full disclosure, certain people 388 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,157 in the firm wanted to promote them. 389 00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,534 But I insisted they be fired. 390 00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:18,079 If you swear to me that you're serious, maybe we can salvage this. 391 00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,540 I would really love to. 392 00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:21,624 But what about Leslie? 393 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,185 I just doubt that she could ever get over 394 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,669 the bad blood between our towns. 395 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:27,880 I think you're wrong. Leslie is a very forgiving person. 396 00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:33,302 Revenge! This is for Pawnee, you butt-faced, pompousjerk. 397 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:34,804 Whoo! 398 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,180 I love you, Ben. 399 00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:40,268 Pawnee forever! You want a stupid tie? I'll give you a stupid tie. 400 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:43,229 Ha, ha, wreston. Suck it. Now, we're even. 401 00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,313 Ben: Leslie? Huh? 402 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,900 He didn't do it. And he fired the people who did. 403 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:59,078 Attention, please. I've been going over the books, 404 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:01,664 and I'm missing $9. 405 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:04,834 Now, I'm not angry at whoever took it. Just come forward, 406 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,419 you'll be served with a lawsuit, 407 00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:09,130 and we will move on with our lives. 408 00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,799 Hey, buddy. Let's go get some breakfast, okay? 409 00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:14,510 Fine. Itwas your idea, so you're paying, you're driving, 410 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,654 I'm not chipping in for gas. 411 00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:16,846 Okay. All right. 412 00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:19,765 Hlhave the pancake breakfast. 413 00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:23,769 And let me also get 12 eggs, uncooked, and some toast. 414 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:26,147 Twenty slices, untoasted, in a row, in a bag. 415 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,149 You want a carton of eggs and a loaf of bread? 416 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:30,276 Yeah, just the pancake breakfast is fine. 417 00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:32,212 Don't offer to pay if you're gonna be cheap. 418 00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:33,755 Listen, man. I know you don't wanna repeat 419 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,489 the mistakes of entertainment 720, 420 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:37,116 and that's great. 421 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,969 But you're going to need a little bit of the old Tom 422 00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,202 to make this business work. 423 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,246 No. That Tom ruined everything. 424 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:46,542 Yes, he did. And that Tom made you a horrible boyfriend 425 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:49,337 and a terrible employee, and drove you to bankruptcy. 426 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:50,838 Are we nearing the point? 427 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,506 But your swagger and your showmanship 428 00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,383 and your confidence is part of you. 429 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,968 And in small doses, it can help. 430 00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:58,304 You can't have rent a swag without the swag. 431 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,265 I barely have enough cash to get everything setup. 432 00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:03,100 I know. Take this. 433 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:06,354 We all chipped in. Use it to spruce up the store. 434 00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:07,664 And in return, you can give us, like, 435 00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:09,482 one share of stock in the company. 436 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,568 Like a mini public offering. 437 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,236 Smort, Ann. Smort. 438 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,906 This is a cause for celebration. Waiter! 439 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:20,451 Eight strips of bacon. Uncooked, in a sealed package. 440 00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:23,913 Wreston: I call it the Pawnee commons. 441 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,123 A celebration of Pawnee's history and people. 442 00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:28,834 A wamapoke-themed playground? 443 00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:31,003 Food trucks from local restaurants? 444 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,714 Li'i Sebastian fountain. I mean, it's perfect. 445 00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:34,799 Thank you. 446 00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:36,425 I can't see myself fighting you 447 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,219 on more than 60% of these ideas. 448 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,846 I'd expect no less. I'm just glad you like it. 449 00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:44,183 I've never met two people more passionate about their hometown. 450 00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,851 Oh, I'm actually from Minnesota. 451 00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,478 Why do you know so much about Pawnee? 452 00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:50,523 Well, I'm in love with a woman from here. 453 00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:54,193 A strange, passionate goofball of a woman. 454 00:19:54,777 --> 00:19:56,237 Me. He's in love with me. 455 00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:02,076 I'm sorry to see you go, macklin. 456 00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:03,994 You didn't always play by the rules, 457 00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:06,539 but damn it, you were a hell of an agent. 458 00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:09,125 Today, I say goodbye to the only life I've ever known. 459 00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:13,629 Well, some of the boys chipped in, and we got you... 460 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:14,755 This. 461 00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:20,970 It isn't much, but it's something to remember us by. 462 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:24,807 Forty years undercover. I never even met my family. 463 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:25,891 What? 464 00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:28,185 And this is all I have to show for it? 465 00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:31,605 Totally worth it. 466 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:33,607 It's been a pleasure serving with you, son. 467 00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,460 If you ever need me, you know where to find me. 468 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,404 In bed next to you, probably having sex with you. 469 00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:53,294 Welcome to the new, new rent a swag. 470 00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,463 Now with 30% more swag. 471 00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:58,048 I used the money you guys gave me to add a little flair. 472 00:20:58,132 --> 00:21:00,968 And I took everything I own in my house and brought it here. 473 00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:03,053 Except for my bed. I basically live here now. 474 00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:06,432 I hate all of this. Which probably means it's good for your business. 475 00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:08,476 Ron, my woodworking project. 476 00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:10,770 It's for displaying shoes. 477 00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:13,355 Yes. That was always the plan. 478 00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:16,275 All right, renta swag team. I have one more little surprise for you. 479 00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,611 Pizza party part two. 480 00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:22,072 Oh, wow. Two pizzas. And toppings. 481 00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:25,201 Only on half. I'm not Zuckerberg. Eat up, chumps.