1 00:00:02,294 --> 00:00:04,063 Hey. I couldn't find the article about you teaching 2 00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:06,757 sex ed to seniors, but I did find this folder labeled 3 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,218 "semorsexed thank-you notes." Don't open that. 4 00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:10,594 There's pictures in there. 5 00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:11,803 Ho! There are pictures. 6 00:00:11,887 --> 00:00:13,388 There are lots of pictures. 7 00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:16,683 Why would you not throw these away or incinerate them? 8 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,936 Because every memory deserves to be chronicled. 9 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,270 Even the saggy ones. 10 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:23,023 I am putting together a scrapbook commemorating 11 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:24,525 my first year on the city council. 12 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:27,819 This year whizzed by so fast. There was so much more I wanted to do. 13 00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:32,908 But time is the relentless and cruel enemy of the devoted civil servant. 14 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:36,286 It's actually one of the sub-titles of my scrapbook. 15 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:38,932 Probably would've gotten more stuff done 16 00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:41,959 if I hadn't spent so much time brainstorming scrapbook titles. 17 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,211 Ben and Leslie's day off. Let's go relax. 18 00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,755 I cannot wait for our day off. 19 00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:49,883 But what if we took a day on 20 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,778 and stayed here and worked on some projects? Hmm. 21 00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,845 Thatsounds pretty sexy, right? 22 00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:57,849 Leslie, you've worked non-stop. Holidays and weekends. 23 00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,202 You're just gonna take a day off. 24 00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:00,394 It'll be good for you. 25 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:01,728 All right. You're cute. 26 00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:02,980 Andyoutermht comeon 27 00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:04,106 let's relax. All right. 28 00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:07,859 Hey, April. I'll be gone for the next 19-and-a-half hours, 29 00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,653 so can you water my plants in my office? 30 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,488 We are all out of water, actually. 31 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,407 I'll have to use boiling hot milk. 32 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:14,908 Are you really gonna do that? Yes. 33 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,035 Well, everybody. 34 00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:22,833 Wow! It has been an honor and a pleasure to work with you all. 35 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:26,253 The time I have spent at parks and rec have been the happiest days 36 00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,005 of my life here in the government. 37 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,966 And I know everyone says it, but I sincerely hope 38 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,384 that we stay in touch. 39 00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:37,723 What the... is happening right now? 40 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,976 Today's my last day, Leslie. I'm retiring. 41 00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:43,353 What? Why didn't you tell us? 42 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,105 Well, ldidn't want to make a big fuss. 43 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:48,275 Although, gosh, I'm pretty sure I mentioned it a few times. 44 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,211 Oh, god, they're gonna fire people, aren't they? 45 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,029 Yeah, I am two years from my pension. 46 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:55,574 Can you believe it? Only six months left until I retire. 47 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,076 What did Jerry say? 48 00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,369 Jerry was here? 49 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,371 Well, this is my last weep. 50 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:05,208 Oops! I mean, "weep." Week. 51 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:08,253 Geez. 52 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:12,924 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Just wait. Everybody wait. Okay. 53 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,426 As much as we want this to happen, 54 00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:16,011 we can't let Jerry just disappear. 55 00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:18,013 We have to commemorate this somehow. 56 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:22,142 You're right. Jerry, thank you for your service. 57 00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,477 Good-bye. 58 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:27,064 Thanks, Ron. That speech means a lot. 59 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:30,275 Okay, well, I am going to go and say good-bye to some other folks. 60 00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:33,153 Okay, see you tomorrow, Jerry. 61 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:58,095 So we ran all your tests, and everything looks great. 62 00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:02,099 You might be the healthiest human being we've ever seen. 63 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,976 You have the resting heart rate of a 100-year-old tortoise. 64 00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,395 Yes, I get that a lot. 65 00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:09,398 So my childhood illness... there's no chance I would pass that on? 66 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:12,192 It wasn't genetic, so you shouldn't worry at all. 67 00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,986 You have every reason to expect a healthy child. 68 00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:17,823 In fact, if you'd like, you can provide your sample today. 69 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:21,076 Today? Like, today, today? 70 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:22,494 This today? Well, yes. 71 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:25,014 I mean, the timing is right according to Ann's ovulation schedule. 72 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,958 Unless there's a reason you'd like to wait till next month. 73 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,295 None. 74 00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,548 One other question. Completely off topic. 75 00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:37,884 Would I be providing this sample... today? 76 00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:41,680 Here I am thinking about how fast 77 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,974 my first year in city council has gone, 78 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:48,186 and Jerry has had 40 years whiz past him with nothing to show for it. 79 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,855 This is everything in his file, 80 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:52,357 a handicapped parking sticker from when he got gout, 81 00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:55,861 a parks and rec golf cart driving exam which he failed, 82 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:58,029 a scathing performance review. 83 00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,282 I mean, why would anyone be so mean? 84 00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:01,783 Oh, wait. I wrote this. 85 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,285 I stand by it. 86 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,953 Well, Jerry was never really the type 87 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:08,248 to rise above mediocrity or to it. 88 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,125 That's what I thought, but when he started, 89 00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:12,002 he had a lot of dreams and goals. 90 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,671 I mean, look at his original entry paperwork. 91 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:18,425 He wanted to meet the mayor, have a building named after him. 92 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:21,762 I just can't let Jerry leave here with nothing and go home to an empty life. 93 00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:24,973 Well, I'll help with anything. Just promise we'll do it quickly. 94 00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,808 I'm making us a Mac and cheese pizza for... 95 00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,268 Yeah. Mac and cheese pizza? 96 00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:29,770 Yeah. You're making that? 97 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,609 Torturing Jerry was my favorite thing in the world. 98 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,235 After making out with you. 99 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:39,404 Remember when we did both at the same time? 100 00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:41,323 It made him so uncomfortable. 101 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,076 This is a sad day. Who are we gonna make fun of now? 102 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,161 Ron: No need to worry. 103 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,872 Every place I've ever worked in has had a "Jerry." 104 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:49,956 When one Jerry leaves, 105 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,752 the office naturally selects a new Jerry to fill that role. 106 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:56,630 It's social dan/vinism. The strong prey on the weak. 107 00:04:56,922 --> 00:05:00,634 Soon, one of you will be ridiculed mercilessly. 108 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,803 Ha! Nature. 109 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,140 Okay. My transfer was approved. 110 00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:10,644 80 starting now, I am an employee of the county health board. 111 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,062 You are no longer my boss, 112 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,081 and we can have a baby without it being a conflict of interest. 113 00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:15,190 Clear sailing. 114 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,442 Goodbye, Ann Perkins, my excellent employee. 115 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,153 Hello, Ann Perkins, my fallopian Princess. 116 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,905 So here's the drill. 117 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,281 Make a deposit in here. 118 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:25,405 If you fill it up all the way, you get on the board. 119 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:29,096 Then we take the sample, spin it in the centrifuge, 120 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,264 and prepare it for fertilization. 121 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:31,498 Sounds romantic. 122 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,835 Iguessitsgotune. Gofime! 123 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,104 Wait, what am I doing? I don't go with you. 124 00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:41,007 Oh, no, no. I go in alone with this pornographic disc and do it myself. 125 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,384 And you stay out here 126 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,153 and try not to think about what I'm doing in there. 127 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,696 And I try not to think about you waiting out here 128 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,138 trying not to think about me. 129 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,515 Should I think about you? 130 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,433 This is so weird. 131 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,561 Chris, we don't have to do this today. 132 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:57,107 This was totally just sprung on us. Let's just take a moment. 133 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,651 There's so many pamphlets to look at. 134 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:03,363 Yes, we do have very important pamphlet reading to do. 135 00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,448 Excellent idea, Ann Perkins. 136 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,784 Do I keep this? 137 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:11,454 I don't know. It feels wrong to leave it here. Give it to me. 138 00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,041 I panicked. Run! 139 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:21,172 Here are the last of the animal control reports. 140 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,510 What are you doing, weirdo? 141 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,929 Just trying not to spill anything. 142 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:30,932 I believe Leslie said to organize these by year. 143 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:34,060 Way ahead of you. I made two pile files. 144 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:38,607 Pilo fibles. Filo pilos. 145 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,191 Filo pilos? That's not right. 146 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:41,568 Are you broken? 147 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,528 No, everything's fine. 148 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,780 Well, I guess that settles who the new Jerry is. 149 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:48,116 No, it doesn't! I barely even said it wrong. 150 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,910 Said it wrong. Stop it! 151 00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:53,872 This is how it begins. 152 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:55,624 The next "Jerry." 153 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,084 One screwed-up sentence, and 30 years later, 154 00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,961 I'm wearing aquamarine sweater vests 155 00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:03,965 and listening to Bonnie Raitt and the Da Vinci code on my iPod. 156 00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:09,054 It's already started. 157 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:13,308 Believe it or not, Jerry, you were young once. 158 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:14,726 Young and full of dreams. 159 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,436 I forgot I wrote all this. 160 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:19,648 And as unrealistic and absurd as those goals were, 161 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,275 we are not letting you retire until we help you achieve them. 162 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,070 So let's see what's first. 163 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:28,490 "Eat in city council private dining room." That we can achieve. 164 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,784 Right now? Sure. Let's go. 165 00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,243 Authorized personnel only. 166 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,578 Oh, they're with me. 167 00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:36,706 City councilor Leslie knope, clearance level four. 168 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,000 Guests are only allowed on wednesdays. 169 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,127 And we don't have clearance levels. 170 00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:43,630 I know, but shouldn't we? I mean, it sounds so cool. 171 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,674 Anyway, we just need to get in there real quick 172 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,509 and maybe take a picture. 173 00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:50,929 He's retiring as a city hall employee after 41 years, 174 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,681 and it was his dream to eat here. 175 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,015 His dream? Really? 176 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,101 Still no. 177 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,244 It's okay, Leslie. Come on. 178 00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:58,371 But thank you. Thank you for trying. 179 00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:00,206 No, no, no, no, no. I promised you an executive meal 180 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,398 andyoutegonna getone. 181 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,525 Ben. Okay. 182 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,819 I'm gonna go in there and take a picture with Jerry. 183 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,779 I put my arm around nothing. 184 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,906 And then you Photoshop him in later, okay? 185 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,120 Congratulations on your retirement. 186 00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,871 Aw, thank you. 187 00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:21,209 One, three, seven, two, five, nine. 188 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,129 Sudoku is easy. 189 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,172 Is there even rules to this game? 190 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,467 There's a natural successor to Jerry's sad, smelly crown. 191 00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:32,345 And it's not me. It's Andy. 192 00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:35,598 Big guy? Check. Goofy? Check. 193 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,184 All I have to do is wait for a textbook dwyer screw-up, 194 00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,854 which usually happens every 20 minutes. 195 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,523 Hey, if it isn't filo pilo. 196 00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,859 Real creative, Donna. You expect that to catch on? 197 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,027 Babe, the pen. 198 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:52,615 Look at Andy. There's ink all over him. Andy's the new Jerry. 199 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,701 Game over. Awesome. 200 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,411 Hey, I'm like a giant squid. 201 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,662 Hey, honey, I'm ink Dracula. 202 00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:58,747 No, stop. 203 00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,832 Squid Dracula is going to get you. 204 00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,210 Barking up the wrong tree, filo. 205 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,754 What do you mean? 206 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,631 Andy will never be the new Jerry. Nothing embarrasses him. 207 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,675 He's like a giant puppy with no shame. 208 00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:13,428 What you need is some fresh meat in the office. 209 00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,305 Or you guys could just stop making fun of me. 210 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:16,806 Yeah. No. 211 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:22,687 Okay, on to the next Jerry goal, meet mayor knudson. 212 00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:25,607 Oh, yeah. He was the mayor at the time. 213 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,692 I've always wanted to meet him. 214 00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:30,111 Well, today you're getting that chance. 215 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,740 So was he like a really great mayor? 216 00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,200 No, not really. 217 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,368 He resigned because of corruption and racketeering, 218 00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:39,454 and then he died from an overdose of pills. 219 00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:40,937 But actually his real cause of death 220 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:43,333 was being thrown out of a helicopter while handcuffed. 221 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,685 Some people say he's still alive 222 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,127 because they never found the body, 223 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,631 but they never found the body because he exploded on impact. 224 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,257 Sounds like a good dude. Jerry: Yeah. 225 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,551 I just wish I had a chance to meet him, 226 00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:57,305 you know, years ago before all the scandals and his death. 227 00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,140 But this is nice too. 228 00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:00,600 Is it? 229 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:01,893 Yes, it is. Mmm-hmm. 230 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,520 Okay, go over there. 231 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,356 Let's meet mayor knudson. I'll take your picture. 232 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,482 Butterflies. 233 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,068 Hello, Mr. Mayor. 234 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:11,608 First of all, I'm so sorry 235 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,239 that those Serbian mobsters shoved you out of that helicopter. 236 00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,323 You deserve better. 237 00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,659 Okay, you tried, but I took a day off 238 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:21,579 to spend with you, not with you and Jerry and a dead mayor. 239 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:22,997 Can we please just call it a day? 240 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:25,250 No, we can't because in a few short years, 241 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,685 we're gonna be visiting Jerry here, 242 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,029 and he will have achieved nothing. 243 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,337 Is that what you want? 244 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,630 Okay, then. No. 245 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,215 It's really been nice to meet you. 246 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,777 Okay, Jerry, let's go. Whoo. 247 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,719 Ron-fire of the vanities. 248 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,221 Filo pilo. 249 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,472 Are you kidding me? 250 00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,808 Listen, now that Jerry's gone, 251 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,369 we need to hire someone to pick up the slack. 252 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:44,561 A new person in the office? 253 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,688 Not a person. An intern. 254 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,190 Why on earth would I get an intern? 255 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,193 Interns cost nothing to the taxpayer. 256 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,946 And more importantly, they're usually stupid and terrible. 257 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,699 So they get no work done. It's like a Jerry you don't have to pay. 258 00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:59,659 Damn, son. That is one compelling argument. 259 00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:01,744 Keep it up, filo. 260 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,830 We may destroy this government one day after all. 261 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:09,043 These pamphlets are fascinating. 262 00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,588 It says here that some men gain "sympathy weight" 263 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,951 when their partners get pregnant. 264 00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:15,550 If that happens to me, I'll be miserable. But happy. 265 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:16,759 Butsad. 266 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:22,223 I would have never imagined the baby-making process to be this clinical. 267 00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:24,517 I mean, imagine if actual sex were like this. 268 00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:25,894 Let me remove my clothes 269 00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:29,689 so we may begin to engage in physical activity to multiply our genes. 270 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,318 And it's also weird because we dated 271 00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:35,695 and we remember what it's like to engage 272 00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:37,572 in some of those physical activities. 273 00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:38,656 Exactly. 274 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:42,994 And we were also pretty good at those physical activities. 275 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,704 Yes, we were. 276 00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,665 Yes, we were. 277 00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:55,298 You know, is this all the pamphlets? 278 00:11:55,381 --> 00:12:00,094 'Cause I think that maybe I have some left in my bedroom. 279 00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:02,847 Oh, well, then, we should definitely go look for those. 280 00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:04,408 Let's find those. We need to find those. 281 00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:05,767 Hurry. 282 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,732 Okay, everyone gather around. 283 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,192 Leshe, lreahy appreciate this, 284 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:16,527 but I did promise Gayle I would leave by 5:00. 285 00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:20,949 She has a tasty surprise waiting for me, if you know what I mean. 286 00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:22,492 Gross, Jerry. 287 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,743 She made a meatloaf. 288 00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,179 Leslie: Well, this is better than meatloaf. 289 00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:26,639 When Jerry first applied for this job, 290 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:29,499 one of this goals was to have a building named after him. 291 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,168 Again, that is an absurd request considering your work record. 292 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,755 But I thought maybe he could have a room named after him. 293 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,883 So henceforth, parks and rec conference room 294 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:43,596 will serve as a testament to your years of public service. 295 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:44,931 Oh, my god. 296 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,391 Hear, hear. 297 00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:50,561 "Jerry gergich memorial conference room. Rip"? 298 00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:54,274 Oh, the guy at the plaque store thought you had died. 299 00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:56,851 It was a rush job, so we didn't have time to change it. 300 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,821 It doesn't matter. We can just pretend it means "retire in peace." 301 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,406 Yeah. Yeah, okay. 302 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,824 So bring out the cake! 303 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:06,202 Jerry: Oh! Wow! Speech, speech, speech. 304 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,537 Well, thank you, guys. 305 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,665 I'm not much of a speechmaker, but I do like good cake. 306 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:12,831 Donna: Uh... Jerry: Mmm... 307 00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:14,168 You're on fire. 308 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,421 Whoa! 309 00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:17,839 Oh, my god, Jerry! 310 00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:31,477 Well, that went roughly as well as I thought it would. 311 00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:36,607 I promised Gayle I'd leave at 5:00. I guess this is it. 312 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:41,821 See you tomorrow, Jeremy. 313 00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:45,533 Well, pretty heroic, huh, guys? 314 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:46,784 Hard to make fun of that. 315 00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:47,994 Man, the cake. 316 00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,496 Filo pilo ruined the cake. 317 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,248 Classic pilo. 318 00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:53,916 What? How is that my fault? 319 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,169 Stupid Jerry. Should have never saved his life. 320 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:01,382 Well... 321 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:03,259 Hey, Jerry. Do you have a second? 322 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,470 Leslie. Well, this is a lovely surprise. 323 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:06,613 Come on in. Have breakfast with the family. 324 00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:10,183 That's okay. I just popped by to apologize and to give you something. 325 00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:11,851 Is that Leslie knope? Yes. 326 00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,019 Hi, Gayle. 327 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,312 What a surprise. 328 00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:16,647 I insist you join us for breakfast. 329 00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:20,485 This guy is the greatest breakfast chef in the world. 330 00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,779 Oh, you know, I'm not really into breakfast foods. 331 00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:25,156 Really? Your purse is shaped like a waffle. 332 00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,241 Is it? Please join us. 333 00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,744 The gergiches don't take no for an answer. Mmm-mmm. 334 00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,204 Okay. 335 00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:32,622 Come on in. 336 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,250 Girls, we've got company. 337 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,173 So, you want to get out of here? 338 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,634 Work just started, Ms. Meagle. 339 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:47,404 Yeah, but our work is just beginning. You know what I'm saying? 340 00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:49,305 Oh, Donna, who's the new boy toy? 341 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,973 I'm Taylor, the new intern. 342 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,809 This is the new intern? Are you kidding me? 343 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,972 Yeah, he went to high school with my sister, Natalie. 344 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,813 He was a big deal on the football team. 345 00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,358 Oh, meathead jock type, huh? 346 00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:02,527 Actually, I quit football senior year 347 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,530 so I could help my pastor run a homeless shelter. 348 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:07,694 Oh. This guy loves the homeless so much, he should marry them, right? 349 00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:10,118 Anybody would be lucky to marry him. 350 00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,804 Hey, Taylor, do you want to marry me and April? 351 00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:14,163 Wish I could, man, but I'm not a "marriage" dude. 352 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,557 I've got a lot of love to give, 353 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,501 and it just seems unfair to put boundaries on it. 354 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,127 He gets it. 355 00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:20,740 Donna: You so get it. 356 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,425 Oh, hey. 357 00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:29,137 Hi. Should I keep walking towards you? 358 00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:32,682 Yeah, I could stop, and you could walk. 359 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,309 Or you know what, we could meet in the middle. 360 00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:37,562 Great plan. 361 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,399 Hello. 362 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,032 Okay. Well... 363 00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,791 Ron, ask me if I'm sad. 364 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,128 Ron, I'm the new Jerry. 365 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,214 Well, is whining going to do anything about it? 366 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:08,009 You don't want to be a whipping boy. Stand up for yourself. 367 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:11,596 You don't understand, Ron. I already was Jerry. 368 00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:14,599 I was a skinny Indian kid in south Carolina, anditsucked. 369 00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:17,185 It took me 12 years, but I reinvented myself. 370 00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,562 I'm a business owner. I wear dope suits. 371 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,690 I have fur undennear. It was all for nothing. 372 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,108 I'm back to being a Jerry. 373 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,444 All right. 374 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,927 I'm gonna go buy some sweatpants and a Nicholas sparks novel. 375 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,531 Might as well lean into it. 376 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:34,285 Ron: Tom can take care of himself. He's a grown man. 377 00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:36,120 Well, half-grown. 378 00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:37,371 He does have a business 379 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:39,295 where he rents out his clothes to 12-year-olds. 380 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:42,752 All gergiches: J“ eggs, bacon, and toast 381 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,546 j“ eggs, bacon, and toast 382 00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,632 j' why don't you start your day 383 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:51,177 j' the gergich way with eggs, bacon, and... 384 00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,933 Oh. Me? Toast... 385 00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,519 J' eggs, bacon, and toast 386 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,563 j' eggs, bacon, and toast 387 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,357 j' why don't you start your day 388 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,275 j' the gergich way with 389 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,401 j' eggs, bacon, and... 390 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:08,528 J' toast j' 391 00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:12,198 Very good. 392 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,491 We sing that every morning. 393 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:16,786 But it's an extra treat because you're here to sing itwith us. 394 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,204 Jerry: Mmm-hmm. Thanks, guys. 395 00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,540 Jerry, I wanted your last day at work to be special, 396 00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:21,916 and I feel like I let you down. 397 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:26,963 So I made you this scrapbook with nearly four amazing pages 398 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,632 jam-packed with memories of your time in the government. 399 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,552 Oh, my god... well, look. 400 00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,637 Oh, honey. 401 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,765 You look great in every one of these. 402 00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:42,979 You are still the most handsome man in the world to me. 403 00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:45,273 Ugh! Mom, come on. 404 00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,024 Yeah, geez, mom. We're eating. 405 00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:49,527 You know, it doesn't make any sense. 406 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,656 Leslie, that is really sweet of you, 407 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,741 but you don't have to worry about me. 408 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:58,578 I'm great. Here. I want to show you something. 409 00:17:58,744 --> 00:17:59,745 Okay. 410 00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:01,622 Whoa! 411 00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:04,083 You also dropped that, clumsy. 412 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:08,546 Where am I? 413 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:13,593 I know I didn't achieve all my work goals, but, Leslie, I don't care 414 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:16,470 because for me, the best part aboutworking in the parks department 415 00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:20,641 was that I got to be home every night with my family at 5:00. 416 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,685 And to me, that's what mattered most. 417 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,147 Little Sebastian... wow! 418 00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:29,233 Jerry, thank you for sharing this with me. 419 00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:33,571 You have a wonderful life. 420 00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:34,697 Mmm-hmm. 421 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,198 Oh! 422 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:37,533 Group hug. 423 00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:40,786 Oh, here they are. The hug machine is here. 424 00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:46,667 Vroom, vroom, vroom. The hug machine... it's firing on all cylinders. 425 00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:52,048 Okay, I think we should be adults and talk about this. 426 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,591 I would love to. 427 00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:55,509 I was nervous after yesterday 428 00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,595 because I was thinking what does this mean for us? 429 00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,722 Not as parents, but as Chris and Ann? 430 00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,558 I don't think on-again, off-again is a great parental model. 431 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,310 Well, I completely agree. 432 00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:07,021 But if there is a hypothetical chance 433 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:10,232 that we could provide a home with two parents 434 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,956 who are hypothetically together, then that 435 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,861 could be even better. Hypothetically. 436 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:17,990 Of course. We should discuss and consider all the possibilities. 437 00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:21,285 The most important thing for me and I think for you 438 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,037 is that we have a child. 439 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,373 And I don't want to do anything to jeopardize that. 440 00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,211 Do you want to make out? I really do. 441 00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,006 Hey. 442 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,384 What are you doing here, Jerry? I thought you were fired. 443 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:38,386 I wasn't fired. I retired. 444 00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:39,637 That's what they all say. 445 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,430 I asked Jerry to come in. 446 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,558 That new intern wasn't working out, so I got rid of him. 447 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:48,020 Once again, I object in the strongest possible terms. 448 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,189 Once again, noted. 449 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:53,317 I have also asked Jerry to come in a couple hours a week 450 00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,611 until we find a permanent replacement. 451 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,172 Just when we were rid of him? 452 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,280 Yeah, I don't know, Ron. 453 00:19:58,406 --> 00:19:59,448 Are you hearing me, son? 454 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,118 Jerry will come in once a week, 455 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,786 and everyone will get to watch him eat 456 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:07,498 and talk to him about anything he might do or say or fart. 457 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,501 Welcome back, Jerry. Jerry: Oh, thank you. 458 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:13,337 It feels good just to be back... 459 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,049 Andy: Classic new guy. 460 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,927 I'm sorry that I spent your day off with Jerry 461 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,887 instead of relaxing with you. It's all right. 462 00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:24,140 And after you fell asleep making Jerry's scrapbook, 463 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:27,601 I went back to season 1 of fringe to check for plot holes. 464 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:30,104 As I suspected, airtight. 465 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:34,400 I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I love my job. 466 00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:37,236 But in the blink of an eye, I'm gonna be retiring, 467 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,947 you know, and flying off on marine one 468 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,615 with you and a secret service detail. 469 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:45,870 Achievements are great, but I want more than that. 470 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,955 I want what Jerry has. 471 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,209 I mean, we're always gonna work, 472 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:54,295 but I think we need to fill this scrapbook too. 473 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,298 Maybe we should take a real day off 474 00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,258 and talk about starting our family. 475 00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,762 Yeah. That sounds perfect. 476 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,015 Hey, while you were over at Jerry's, 477 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,618 did you happen to get any information about his history with Gayle? 478 00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,436 Like, was she a Russian spy 479 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:13,230 and the kgb forced her to marry Jerry as a cover? 480 00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:15,357 You know, it's a mystery, Ben. Let it go. 481 00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,359 Yeah, I can't. It keeps me awake at night. 482 00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,111 Hey, maybe Gayle has one of those 483 00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:21,906 Oliver sacks brain disorder thingies? 484 00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:24,366 Like, does she think Jerry is a friendly hat? 485 00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:25,534 I think you solved it.