1 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:25,108 (Theme music playing) 2 00:00:57,933 --> 00:01:00,143 Hey, ai, can I help you out in here? 3 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:01,395 Oh, I'm all set, thanks. 4 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,522 Gotcha. Good. I'd go with the rows. 5 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:04,690 That's a good idea. 6 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:06,858 Michael: Today is diversity day, 7 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:09,337 and someone's gonna come in and talk to us about diversity. 8 00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:11,863 It's something that I've been pushing... 9 00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:14,157 That I've been wanting to push for a long time. 10 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:15,951 And corporate mandated it. 11 00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:18,829 And I never actually talked to corporate about it. 12 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,039 Um, they kind of beat me to the punch. 13 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,374 Uh, little bastards. 14 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:25,794 Um, but, uh... But I was going to. 15 00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,605 And I think it's very important that we have this. 16 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,465 And, uh, I'm very, very excited. 17 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,177 Jim: That's the thing. It's very sturdy paper. 18 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:37,097 And on the back it says, "100% post-consumer content." 19 00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:39,016 So... what? 20 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,436 Hello? Uh-huh. 21 00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:44,396 Wait, what? 22 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,690 I'm sorry, Mr. Deckerd, I think I'm iOS... 23 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,734 I think I'm losing you. (Whirring) 24 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:51,320 Hello? Hello? (Whirring) 25 00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:54,323 Yeah. Hold on one sec. I don't know. 26 00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:55,407 Hold on one second. 27 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:57,075 Do you really have to do that right now? 28 00:01:57,159 --> 00:01:58,285 Yes, I do. 29 00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,088 I should have done this weeks ago, actually. 30 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:02,164 Mr. Deckerd... I'm sorry about that. 31 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,290 What were you... 32 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,875 Can you hold on one second? 33 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,376 Yeah, just one second. 34 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,170 Thanks. 35 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:09,880 (Whirring stops) 36 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:11,840 Hello? 37 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,425 Oh, that's it. Perfect. 38 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:14,718 So what I was saying... 39 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:15,802 Hello? (Dial tone) 40 00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,391 Thanks, Dwight. 41 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:22,476 Retaliation. 42 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:23,727 Tit for tit. 43 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,271 That is not the expression. 44 00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:28,315 Well, it should be. 45 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,442 (Whirring) 46 00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,796 Jim: This is my biggest sale of the year. 47 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:38,200 They love me over there for some reason. 48 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,243 I'm not really sure why, but, uh... 49 00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,207 You know, I make one call over there every year, 50 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,705 just to renew their account. 51 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:47,209 And that one call ends up being 25% of my commission. 52 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,418 For the whole year. 53 00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:51,296 So, you know, ibuy a mini bottle of champagne. 54 00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:52,631 Celebrate a little. 55 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:55,634 And this year, I'm pushing recycled paper on them 56 00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:57,386 for one percent more. 57 00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,264 I know, I'm getting cocky, right? 58 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:03,600 (Telephone ringing) 59 00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,314 Solitaire? 60 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,358 Yeah, freecell. 61 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,443 Six on seven. 62 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,070 I know. I saw that. 63 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,613 So then why didn't you do it? 64 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,281 I'm saving that, 65 00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:20,117 'cause I like itwhen the cards go... 66 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,160 (Imitates cards shuffling) 67 00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:23,537 Who doesn't love that? 68 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:24,621 (Giggles) 69 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,165 (Keyboard clacking) 70 00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:35,465 Hey, Oscar! 71 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,634 How you doing, man? All right. 72 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,636 So, did you get a good weekend going there? 73 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,471 It was fine. Oh, yeah, I bet it was fun. 74 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,473 (Laughs) 75 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,601 Oh, hey! This is Oscar. 76 00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:47,978 Martinez. 77 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,272 Right, see? I don't even know. First-name basis. 78 00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:51,648 Great, uh, we're all set. 79 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,692 Oh, hey, well, diversity, everybody. 80 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,026 Let's do it. 81 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,112 Oscar works in... here. 82 00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:58,989 Jim, can you wrap it up, please? 83 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,866 Mr. Deckerd, please? 84 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,909 I... it's diversity day, Jim. 85 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:04,578 I wish every day was diversity day. 86 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,121 You know what? 87 00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:08,331 Um, I'm actually gonna have to call you back. 88 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,292 Thank you. Sorry about that. 89 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,897 Thank you. Come on, people, let's get 'em in. 90 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,548 Thank you, great. Get in the cards! 91 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:17,632 Get in the cards! 92 00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:19,134 Thank you. Thank you very much. 93 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:20,969 Okay, thanks for filling these out, 94 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,888 and I promise this'll be quick. 95 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:24,431 At diversity today, 96 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,433 ourphhosophy is about honesty 97 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,769 and positive expectations. 98 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,145 We believe that 99% 99 00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,855 of the problems in the workplace 100 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,607 arise simply out of ignorance. 101 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:36,610 You know what? This is a color-free zone here. 102 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,279 Stanley, I don't look at you as another race. 103 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,324 Uh... see, this is what I'm talking about. 104 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,409 We don't have to pretend that we're color-blind. 105 00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:45,911 Exactly. We're not color-blind. 106 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:48,413 That's fighting ignorance with more ignorance. And tolerance. 107 00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:49,849 No, with more ignorance. Ignorance. 108 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,458 Right, exactly. 109 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,502 Uh, instead, we need to celebrate our diversity. 110 00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,879 Let's celebrate. Right. Okay. 111 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,089 Celebrate good times. Come on! 112 00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,508 Let's celebrate diversity, right? 113 00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:00,801 Yes, exactly. 114 00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,511 Now, here's what we're gonna do. 115 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,387 Uh, I've noticed that, uh, uh... 116 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,431 You know what? Here's what we're gonna do. 117 00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,809 Why don't we go around, and everybody... 118 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:11,478 Everybody say a race 119 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:14,564 that you are attracted to sexually. 120 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,024 I will go last. Go! 121 00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,108 I have two. Nice. 122 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,610 White and Indian. 123 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,904 Brown: Actually, I'd prefer not to start that way. 124 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:24,115 Michael, I would love to have your permission to run this session. 125 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:25,408 Can I have your permission? 126 00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:27,994 Yes. Thank you very much. 127 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,680 And it would also help me if you were seated. 128 00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,581 Okay. Thank you. 129 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,584 Okay, now, at the start of the session, 130 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,503 I had you write down an incident 131 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:39,089 that you found offensive in the workplace. 132 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,441 Now, what I'm going to do is choose one, 133 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:41,625 and we're gonna act it out... 134 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,860 Dwight: A few other ground rules, just real quick. 135 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:45,095 Hey, why don't you run it by me, and I'll run it by him. 136 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,514 Okay, can we steer away from gay people? 137 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:51,768 Uh, I'm sorry, it's an orientation. It's not a race. 138 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,955 Plus, a lot of other races are also intolerant of gays. 139 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:56,022 So... paradox. 140 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,291 Brown: Well, we only have an hour. 141 00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,526 Dwight: Good. It'll save time. 142 00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,903 Why don't we just defer to Mr... Um... 143 00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:02,988 Mr. Brown. 144 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,573 Ah! Oh, all right. 145 00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:07,075 Okay, first test. I will not call you that. 146 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,077 Well, it's my name. It's not a test, okay? 147 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,997 Um, so, looking through the cards, 148 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,016 I've noticed that many of you wrote down the same incident, 149 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,626 which is ironic, because it's the exact incident 150 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,420 I was brought in here to respond to. 151 00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:19,772 Now, how many of you are familiar 152 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,423 with the Chris rock routine? 153 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,302 Hmm, very good. 154 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,803 Okay. 155 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,514 Michael: How come Chris rock can do a routine, 156 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,976 and everybody finds it hilarious and groundbreaking, 157 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,520 then I go and do the exact same routine, 158 00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:36,771 same comedic timing... 159 00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:39,316 And people file a complaint to corporate? 160 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:42,611 Is it because I'm white, and Chris is black? 161 00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,949 So we're going to reenact this with a more positive outcome. 162 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,576 I will play the Chris rock guy. 163 00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:50,660 (Employees grumble) 164 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,555 I would like to see someone else pull this off. 165 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:55,290 Well, let's have someone who wasn't involved do the reenactment. 166 00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,918 Okay, I will play guy listening. 167 00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,502 Great, guy listening. 168 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,171 Okay, anyone else remember? 169 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,964 Kevin: I remember. Brown: Great. 170 00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:04,901 You're the Chris rock guy, and you're guy listening. 171 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,009 Okay. 172 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,802 Kevin is a great guy. 173 00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:09,638 He's a great accountant. 174 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,348 He is not much of an entertainer. 175 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,601 Basically, there are two types of black people. 176 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:17,520 And black people are actually more racist, 177 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,565 because they hate the other type of black people. 178 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,444 See, every time the one type wants to have a good time, 179 00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:28,239 then the other type comes in and makes a real mess... 180 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:30,492 Okay, I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry, he's... 181 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,243 He's ruin... he's butchering it. 182 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:33,745 Um, could you just let me... 183 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,139 (Imitating Chris rock) Every time... 184 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:38,041 Every time black people wanna have a good time, 185 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,210 some ig'nant ass (bleep)... 186 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,754 Hold on... I take care of my kids, 187 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,881 (bleep) Always want credit 188 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,883 for somethin' they supposed to do! 189 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,385 Brown: Stop it! 190 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,808 (Imitating Chris rock) What chu want, a cookie? 191 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:00,563 (Ringing) 192 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,524 Brown: Now, this is a simple acronym. 193 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:03,733 Hero. 194 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,527 Uh, at diversity today, we believe 195 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,529 it's very easy to be a hero. 196 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:08,738 All you need are honesty, 197 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,741 empathy, respect, and open-mindedness. 198 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,034 Dwight: Uh, excuse me. Yeah? 199 00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:15,096 I'm sorry, but that's not all it takes to be a hero. 200 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,997 Oh, great. Well, what is a hero to you? 201 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,416 A hero kills people. People that wish them harm. 202 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,709 Okay. 203 00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:23,545 A hero is part human, and part supernatural. 204 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,339 A hero is born out of a childhood trauma, 205 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,174 or out of a disaster 206 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,844 that must be avenged. 207 00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,681 Okay, um, you're thinking of a superhero. 208 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,933 We all have a hero in our heart. 209 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:41,062 Brown: Now, I need you to take these forms. 210 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:45,191 This kind of expresses the joint experience we had today. 211 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:48,486 I want you to look them over and sign them as kind of a group pledge. 212 00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:52,782 (Clears throat) 213 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,035 I don't think I can sign this. 214 00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:56,661 Uh, I can't leave until you do. 215 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:59,289 Well, okay, it says here that I learned something. 216 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,459 And... I knew all this stuff already. 217 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,753 So... I could, you know, I could sign something 218 00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:06,421 that says that I taught something. 219 00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,214 Or that I helped you teach something. 220 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:10,675 So, Pam? Where is she? 221 00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:12,594 Pam, could we change something on this? 222 00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:15,680 Uh, Michael, can I talk to you candidly? 223 00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:16,973 Sure. 224 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:18,683 We both know that I'm here 225 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,935 because of the comments that you made. 226 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,645 Here's the thing... this office 227 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:26,566 I think is very advanced in terms of, uh, 228 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,943 racial awareness. 229 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,821 And, uh, it's probably more advanced than you're used to. 230 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,907 It's probably throwing you off a little. 231 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,825 It's not throwing me. I need your signature. 232 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,994 Okay, well, I know. You told me that. 233 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,162 Several times. 234 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,705 Yes, but you're not listening to me. 235 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:43,208 Yours is the only signature I need. Oh, okay. 236 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:45,331 Those are my instructions from the corporate offices 237 00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:47,087 to put you through this seminar 238 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,089 for the comments that you made. 239 00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:50,983 And the only reason why I made copies for everyone 240 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,567 was so that you wouldn't be embarrassed. 241 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:00,934 Well, here I am thinking 242 00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:04,729 that you actually cared about diversity training. 243 00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:06,773 And... you don't. 244 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,483 Don't worry about dating it. 245 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:09,818 I won't. 246 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:14,989 Okay, thank you. 247 00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,366 Yep, yep. 248 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:24,415 "I regret my actions. I regret offending my coworkers. 249 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:26,876 "I pledge to bring my best spirit of honesty, 250 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,754 "empathy, respect, and open-mindedness..." 251 00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:31,714 "Open-mindedness." that even a word? 252 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,341 "Um, into the workplace. 253 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:36,427 "In this way, I can truly be a hero. 254 00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,138 "Signed... 255 00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:39,722 "Daffy duck." 256 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:48,314 He's gonna lose it when he reads that. 257 00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:50,316 Yeah, hi. Is Mr. Deckerd around? 258 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,979 Oh, well, could you just have him call me after lunch? 259 00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:54,154 Thank you. 260 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,867 I... pledge 261 00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:01,661 "to always keep an open mind 262 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:04,455 "and an open heart!" 263 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:17,343 I do believe in that part of the pledge that I just read. 264 00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:18,928 But a pledge? Come on. 265 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,471 I mean, who are we, the girl scouts? 266 00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,182 No. Look... 267 00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,851 The, um, the guy, Mr. Brown, 268 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,227 uh, he got us halfway there. 269 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,312 He got us talking. 270 00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:29,856 Well, no, I got us talking. 271 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,357 He got us nothing. 272 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,818 He, uh, insulted us, and he abandoned us. 273 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:35,182 You call that diversity training? 274 00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:36,821 I don't. 275 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,866 Were there any connections between any of us? 276 00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,743 Did anyone look each other in the eye? 277 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,953 Was there any emotion going on? 278 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,747 Were... no! 279 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,040 Where was the heart? 280 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,374 I didn't see any heart. 281 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:49,751 Where was my Oprah moment? 282 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:54,214 Okay, get as much done as you can before lunch, 283 00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,007 because afterward, 284 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,760 I'm going to have you all in tears. 285 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,773 (Busy tone on telephone) 286 00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:13,524 All right, everybody pretty? 287 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,318 Come on, here we go. 288 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:16,402 It's time. 289 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:17,862 Let's do some good. 290 00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:20,949 Hey, we're not all gonna sit in a circle, Indian-style, are we? 291 00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,158 (Laughter) 292 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,493 Get out. 293 00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:24,869 Sorry. 294 00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:26,496 No. This is not a joke. 295 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,874 Okay? That was offensive, and lame. 296 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:31,918 So double offensive. 297 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:35,171 This is an environment of welcoming. 298 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:38,049 And you should just get the hell out of here. 299 00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,928 Okay, let's go! Let's do it! 300 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,571 Come on, let's have some fun, everybody. 301 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:46,057 Here we go. Take a seat. 302 00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:47,934 Cop a squat. 303 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:51,521 And, um, thank you for coming in. 304 00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:55,858 Diversity... 305 00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,988 Is the cornerstone of progress, 306 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,614 as I've always said. 307 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,366 But don't take my word for it. 308 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,826 Let's take a look at the tape. 309 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,417 (On tape) Hi, I'm Michael Scott. 310 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,669 I'm in charge of dunder Mifflin paper products 311 00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:16,212 here in Scranton, Pennsylvania. 312 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:19,173 But I'm also the founder of diversity tomorrow. 313 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:21,759 Becausetoday is almost over. 314 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,597 Abraham Lincoln once said that 315 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,391 "if you're a racist, 316 00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:30,601 "I will attack you with the north." 317 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,272 And those are the principles that I carry with me 318 00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:35,606 in the workplace. 319 00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:41,654 Okay. Questions, comments? 320 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:43,448 Anybody? Jim? 321 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:44,907 Uh, is that it? 322 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,285 Uh, yes, I only had an hour to put it together. 323 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:48,995 But I'm gonna add onto it later on. 324 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,663 It was kind of hard to hear. 325 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,750 Uh, yes, that probably had something to do with the camera work. 326 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,336 Anybody else? Um... 327 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,546 I have a customer meeting. 328 00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,923 Yeah, well, if you leave, we'll only have two left... 329 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,175 Yes. 330 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,468 Enjoy! 331 00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,553 Absolutely. Namaste. 332 00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:08,765 Okay, well, since I am leading this, 333 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,266 let's get down to business. 334 00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:14,520 And why don't I just kind of introduce myself, okay? 335 00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:16,647 Um, I am Michael. 336 00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:21,277 And I am part English, Irish, uh, German, 337 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,945 and scot'ish! 338 00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:26,199 Sort of a virtual United Nations. 339 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,950 But what some of you might not know 340 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:32,080 is that I am also part native American Indian. 341 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:33,456 What part native American? 342 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,083 Two fifteenths. 343 00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:37,546 Two fif... that fraction doesn't make any sense. 344 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,420 Well, you know what? 345 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:40,731 It's kind of hard for me to talk about. 346 00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:41,995 There's suffering. So who else? 347 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,091 Let's get this poppin'. 348 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:45,134 Come on. Who's going, who's going? 349 00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:48,554 Ah, let's go here. Oscar, right here. 350 00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:49,722 You're on! 351 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,724 Okay, Michael. Um... 352 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,602 Well, both my parents were born in Mexico. 353 00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:55,728 (Whispering) Oh, yeah. 354 00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,106 And, uh, they moved to the United States 355 00:14:58,189 --> 00:14:59,357 a year before I was born. 356 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,525 (Whispering) Yeah? 357 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,068 So I grew up in the United States. 358 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,986 Wow. And my parents are Mexican. 359 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:07,281 Wow, that is... That is a great story. 360 00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:09,367 That's the American dream right there, right? 361 00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:10,701 Thank... yeah. 362 00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:13,913 Um, let me ask you, is there a term 363 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,375 besides "Mexican" that you prefer? 364 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:18,918 Something less offensive? 365 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:20,962 Mexican isn't offensive. 366 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,547 Well, it has certain connotations. 367 00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:24,590 Like what? 368 00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:26,717 Like, wa... 369 00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:28,177 I don't... well, I don't know. 370 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,720 What connotations, Michael? No, no. 371 00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:31,139 You must have meant something. 372 00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:32,890 No, now, remember... I'm just curious. 373 00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:35,435 Honesty, empathy... 374 00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:36,853 (Telephone ringing) Respect... 375 00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,563 Jim? Jim! 376 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,982 Hello? 377 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,525 Hello? 378 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,737 I have something here. I want you to take a card. 379 00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:48,781 Put it on your fore... Don't look at the card! 380 00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:51,909 I want you take the card, and I want you to put it on your forehead. 381 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,536 And... take a card. 382 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,163 Take a card, any card. 383 00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:59,125 Um, and I want you to treat other people 384 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:03,463 like the race that is on their forehead, okay? 385 00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:05,173 So everybody has a different race. 386 00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:07,341 Nobody knows what their race is. 387 00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,429 I want you to really go for it. 388 00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:12,722 'Cause this is real. 389 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,074 You know, this isn't just an exercise. 390 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,141 This is real life. 391 00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:18,478 And I have a dream 392 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:21,063 that you will really let the sparks fly. 393 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:23,441 Get 'er done! 394 00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:26,944 Because Martin Luther King is a hero of mine. 395 00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:29,655 There's this great Chris rock bit 396 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,241 about how streets named after Martin Luther King 397 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,826 tend to be more violent. 398 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,954 I'm not gonna do it, but it's... 399 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,123 Oh, this is a good one. 400 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,501 Um, hi. How are you? 401 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,169 Fine. How are you? 402 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,272 Michael: (Whispering) Push it, push it. Great... um... 403 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:46,589 Pump it up. Let's go. 404 00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,966 I admire your culture's success in america. 405 00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:50,468 Thank you. Michael: Good. 406 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:51,928 (Singing) Bum, buh, bum, bum 407 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,012 come on. 408 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,931 Olympics of suffering, right here. 409 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,517 Slavery versus the holocaust. Come on. 410 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,060 Who am I supposed to be? 411 00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:00,520 No, no, no. Well, that... 412 00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:01,729 That was inadvertent. 413 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:03,231 We didn't actually plan that. 414 00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:05,608 Lots of cultures eat rice. 415 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:06,776 It doesn't help me. 416 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,611 Um... shalom. 417 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,405 I'd like to apply for a loan. 418 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:12,615 That's nice, Dwight. 419 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,660 Okay, do me. Something stereotypical, so I can get it really quick. 420 00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:17,411 Okay, I like your food. 421 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:18,955 Uh, outback steakhouse. 422 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,182 (In Australian accent) I'm Australian, mate! 423 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,166 Pam, Pam! Come on. No. 424 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,085 "I like your food"? No, come on. 425 00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:27,129 Stir the pot! Stir the melting pot, Pam! 426 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,340 Let's do it. Let's get ugly. Let's get real. 427 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:30,967 Okay. 428 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,385 If I have to do this, 429 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:35,429 based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, 430 00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:37,056 that I do not agree with, 431 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,934 you would maybe not be a very good driver. 432 00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,103 Oh, man, am I a woman? 433 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,939 You'll notice I didn't have anybody be an arab. 434 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,774 I thought that would be too explosive. 435 00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:48,401 Uh, no pun intended. 436 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,405 But I just thought too soon for arabs. 437 00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:55,199 Maybe next year. Um... 438 00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:57,577 You know, the ball's in their court. 439 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,203 What're you watching? 440 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:00,413 Chappelle's show. Really? 441 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:02,373 Yeah, I downloaded it on her computer. 442 00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:04,017 I hope she doesn't mind. She just had a lot of extra space. 443 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,084 No way, no. 444 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,461 I think she really likes this stuff. Great. 445 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:08,921 She's cute, huh? 446 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,591 Yeah. You know, she's engaged, but... 447 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,051 Oh, no, the girl in the... sketch. 448 00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:17,555 Oh, yeah. She's hot. 449 00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:18,639 Yeah. 450 00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:19,974 Hey. 451 00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,142 Hey. 452 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,603 You wanna go to the beach? 453 00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:24,770 Sure. 454 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,148 You wanna get high? 455 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,651 I think you do, "mon." 456 00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,528 Stop it. Okay, all right, no. 457 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:36,157 That's good, it... you just... you need to push it. 458 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,242 You know, you need to go a little bit further. 459 00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:40,244 Uh, ahnght okay. 460 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:42,622 (Indian accent) Kelly! 461 00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:44,790 How are you? I had the longest meeting. 462 00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:47,627 Oh, welcome to my convenience store! 463 00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,629 Would you like some cookie-cookie? 464 00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:51,839 I have some very delicious cookie-cookie! 465 00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:53,841 Only 99 cents, plus tax! 466 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:57,219 Try my cookie-cookie. Try my cookie-cookie. 467 00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:59,096 Try my cookie-cookie. Try my... 468 00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,484 All right! All right! 469 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:13,194 Yes! 470 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,822 That was great! She gets it! 471 00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:20,242 Now she knows what it's like to be a minority! 472 00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:28,292 Mr. Deckerd, we didn't lose your sale today, did we? 473 00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,127 Excehenfl okay. 474 00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:33,589 Let me just get your... What's that? 475 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,717 No, we didn't... We didn't close last time. 476 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,011 I just need your, uh... 477 00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:41,931 Oh! 478 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:44,392 What... what code were you given? 479 00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:46,560 Oh, okay. 480 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,706 Yeah, no, that's actually another salesman here. 481 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,982 Yeah, I can redo it if you wanna do that. 482 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:53,693 Oh, he gave you a discount? 483 00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:55,319 No, I don't blame you. 484 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,655 I just hated it when that guy was in here. 485 00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:00,908 Mr. Brown, ifthat was his real name. 486 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,994 I mean, he had never met any of us before, 487 00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:06,414 and here was telling us how to do our thing. 488 00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:08,332 I just wanted... 489 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:11,335 I just wanted to do it our way, you know? 490 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,046 On our own. 491 00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:17,907 Man, I should have gotten some food. 492 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:19,653 (Kevin in Italian accent) Maybe some spaghetti. 493 00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:21,679 Michael: Okay, Kevin, you can take off that thing. 494 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:22,930 Okay? 495 00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:29,103 That would have really, really shown him up, wouldn't it? 496 00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:33,357 If I'd brought in some burritos, or some "colored" Greens. 497 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:36,902 Or some pad Thai. I love pad Thai. 498 00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:39,071 Stanley: It's collard Greens. Michael: What? 499 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,656 It's collard Greens. 500 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,908 Uh, that doesn't really make sense. 501 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,845 'Cause you don't call them "collard people." 502 00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:45,870 That's offensive. 503 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,288 (Sighs) 504 00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:49,623 (Sighs) 505 00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:51,417 Okay, well, it's after 5:00. 506 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:55,671 So... thank you very much. 507 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,673 Buena vista, Oscar. 508 00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,467 Thank you. 509 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,052 Good job. Ah, my man. 510 00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:05,890 Thank you, Brazil. 511 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:08,768 Nice. 512 00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,235 (Whispering) Uh... hey. 513 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:20,905 Hey. 514 00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,573 We can go. 515 00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:24,617 Sorry. That's fine. 516 00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,202 Talk to you later. 517 00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:35,419 Not a bad day.