1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:04,671 Michael: I'm an early bird and I'm a night owl. 2 00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:07,508 So I'm wise and I have worms. 3 00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:11,136 Michael: Oh, breakfast. 4 00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:13,263 Igotyoursausage, egg and cheese biscuit. 5 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,308 Yummy, yummy, thank you, Ryan. 6 00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:21,188 What was the thing you needed me to come in early for? 7 00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:27,236 The sausage, egg and cheese biscuit. But, thank you. 8 00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:32,241 And why don't you just take a couple hours. Office is yours. 9 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:37,287 Home alone, risky business. Take your pants off, run around. 10 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,582 Whatever you want to do. 11 00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:42,866 I'm just going to take a nap in my car till work starts. 12 00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:44,044 Okay. 13 00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:49,466 See? Healthier, got to watch those carbs. 14 00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:28,297 Today, I, Michael Scott, am becoming a homeowner, investing in real estate. 15 00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:29,798 Diversifying. Smart. 16 00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:31,967 Yes, it is. Yes, it is. 17 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:35,429 It is very important to own property. 18 00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:39,308 Back in olden days, they would not even let you vote 19 00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:42,936 unless you owned property, and they'd throw you in the stocks and humiliate you. 20 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,146 And it worked. Yes. 21 00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:46,416 They should bring the stocks back, people would obey the law, 22 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,500 there'd be less troublemakers. 23 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,067 Maybe. 24 00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:59,036 Pam: Every so often, Jim dies of boredom. 25 00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:03,248 I think today it was the expense reports that did him in. 26 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:06,501 And our deal is, that it's up to me to revive him. 27 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,463 You see Dwight's coffee mug? 28 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:12,049 Sometimes when he's not here, I try to throw stuff in it. 29 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,342 No way. 30 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,428 Let's do this. 31 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:24,436 Here, try paperclips. 32 00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:27,773 Oh, wait, this message, for Dwight. 33 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:28,857 Perfect. 34 00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:33,362 You should go. 35 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,113 Yes, yes. Final walk-through. 36 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:36,982 Sign the papers at the condo. 37 00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:38,283 You have your lawyer there? 38 00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:39,368 I don't need one. 39 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:40,511 Can I be your representative? 40 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:42,138 I think I should be there. I don't need representation. 41 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,514 No, no. No, I'm good. I can make sure 42 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,178 things are up to code. No, Dwight. Please. 43 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,000 I'm always the guy that you rely on at work. 44 00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,795 Well, this isn't about work. This is closing on a condo. 45 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,213 It's completely personal. 46 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,465 So, you're taking a personal day? 47 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:56,718 Except that it's about my living arrangement 48 00:02:56,802 --> 00:03:01,390 and as boss I need to have a living arrangement in order to do work. 49 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,642 Please. I'll make you proud. 50 00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:06,019 Okay, fine. Yes, you can come. 51 00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,229 Yes. As your representative? 52 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,814 As my associate. Same thing. 53 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,190 No, it is not. 54 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:13,568 I have been Michael's number two guy for about five years 55 00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,320 and we make a great team. 56 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,698 Why, we're like one of those classic, famous teams. 57 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:21,410 He's like Mozart and I'm like Mozart's friend. 58 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:25,497 No, I'm like butch Cassidy, 59 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,333 and Michael is like Mozart. 60 00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:33,130 You try and hurt Mozart, you're gonna get a bullet in your head, 61 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,257 courtesy of butch Cassidy. 62 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,760 Most honorable Pamela. 63 00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:41,680 Not offensive, because that's the way they talk in movies. 64 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,265 You headed out? We are. 65 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,600 Dwight and I are going to the big thing. 66 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,687 So, why don't you have everybody work on their expense reports 67 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,814 and I'd like them in by the end of the day. Okay. 68 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,041 Very good. Have a great time. 69 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,026 We will. Did you do the thing I asked you to do about the magazines? 70 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:57,112 Good. Yeah, I changed them to your new address. 71 00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,656 The small business man? Yep. 72 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,992 Maxim? 73 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,785 American way? Cracked? 74 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:07,748 Yes, I changed your cracked magazine subscription. 75 00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:11,543 How about fine arts 76 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,130 aficionado monthly? 77 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:20,594 No? Okay. Well, could you get on that, 'cause I don't just read cracked. 78 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:21,720 Thank you. Yeah. 79 00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,597 Okay. See you soon. 80 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,891 What kind of shocks you got on this baby? 81 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,934 I don't know, regular, normal ones. 82 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:31,438 Nothing fancy, not my style. 83 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,362 What are you doing? I want to put the top down. 84 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,611 What are you... no, Dwight. It's 50 degrees outside, please. 85 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,112 But then no one can see us. 86 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:41,531 I_.just_ would you put it up? 87 00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:45,702 Okay, fine, just leave it down. Whiner. 88 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:50,499 Check it out. Terminator. 89 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:54,044 I do not understand what you spend your money on. 90 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:59,841 Hey, Oscar. These new expense reports, do we really have to go back to last quarter? 91 00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:02,636 Yeah, it's a terrible system, I know. 92 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,765 What does "2005 season" mean? 93 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,076 Wait a minute. What is this? 94 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,310 It's a scoreboard. 95 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:11,394 What? 96 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,271 Kevin and I play this paper football game 97 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,564 when Michael's out. Really? 98 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:17,359 Kevin: Or when we're bored. Oh, my god. 99 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,736 Wait, this goes back two years. 100 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:20,904 We're bored a lot. 101 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:24,533 Sweet. 102 00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:26,368 Yes, so close. 103 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:31,081 I really love the "paper triangle flicking and hitting things" game_ 104 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,749 Yeah. We call it "hate ball." 105 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:36,503 Because of how much Angela hates it. 106 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,047 Hey, do you guys have any other games? 107 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:42,801 Sometimes we play "who can put the most M&M's in their mouth." 108 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,052 You play that. 109 00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:47,347 You should ask Toby to teach you "dunder ball." 110 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,308 Home, sweet home. 111 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,561 Which one's yours? 112 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:57,566 Right there. My sanctuary, my party-pad. 113 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:03,989 Someday, I can just see my grandkids learning how to walk out here. 114 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:09,119 Hang a swing from this tree, push them back... 115 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:13,999 Wait. No, it's this one right here. 116 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,626 Home, sweet home. 117 00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:23,466 So that's what this sound is all day. 118 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:26,219 Michael, this is bill. He's the head of the condo association. 119 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:29,931 Oh, hey, how are you? Nice to meet you, bill. Bill, Mr. Bill. 120 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:33,226 Oh, no, Mr. Bill! 121 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:38,189 Snl. When they pull him apart? 122 00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:41,902 He would always get rolled over by something. 123 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,112 Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. 124 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,906 This is smaller than your old place. 125 00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:48,074 Yes, well, I'm buying it. I'm not renting it. 126 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,702 So, it's still an upgrade. 127 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:55,498 He doesn't know anything about property ownership. He's kind of an idiot. 128 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,834 Dwight: Actually, I do own property. 129 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,421 My grandfather left me a 60 acre working beet farm. 130 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,506 I run it with my cousin moes. 131 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,801 We sell beets to local stores and restaurants. 132 00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:09,888 It's a nice little farm. 133 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:13,433 Sometimes teenagers use it for sex. 134 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,101 Are we ready to sign some papers? 135 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,938 Actually, no, we have a couple of questions. 136 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:19,606 About the neighborhood. 137 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:20,690 It's very safe. 138 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,400 It's very clean. 139 00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:25,737 Also, it's very accepting of all lifestyles. 140 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:30,450 It's a very gay-friendly neighborhood. 141 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,203 Oh, good, that's good. 142 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:36,748 It's good to be accommodating of that. 143 00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:39,834 Let's go check out the master bedroom. 144 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:43,838 Stanley, I just played dunder ball with Toby. 145 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,107 What about you? You got any games? 146 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,174 Yeah, I got a game. 147 00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:49,386 It's called "work hard, so my kids can go to college." 148 00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,346 Fair enough. 149 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:56,476 This, my friends, is the master bedroom. 150 00:07:56,559 --> 00:08:00,563 Check out the cathedral ceilings. Those are, like, 17 feet high. 151 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:05,151 We have cable readiness right there. I'm going to totally pimp this place out. 152 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:07,654 I'm going to put a surround sound system. 153 00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,323 I'm going to put a plasma screen right against this wall. 154 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,426 Oh, terrible idea. Here's where I'm putting my bed, right here. 155 00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,619 No, no, no, no, this is a shared wall. 156 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,329 Neighbor throws his wife into the wall, 157 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,373 plasma screen hits the floor, totally smashed. 158 00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:19,791 Well, then I will get a warranty. 159 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:20,917 Warranties don't cover it. 160 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,002 Plus they're a rip-off. 161 00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,187 Well, then I won't get a warranty. 162 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,689 Wait. So, that's the problem, it's solved. What? 163 00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:25,773 Neighbor: I don't hear you practicing. 164 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:28,091 Listen. Can you hear that? 165 00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:30,802 Oh, man, 166 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,972 these babies are thin. 167 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:49,571 This scented candle, which I found in the men's bathroom, 168 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:54,492 represents the eternal 169 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,121 burning of competition, 170 00:08:58,455 --> 00:08:59,581 or something. 171 00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:00,665 It smells like cookies. 172 00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:04,544 Yes, it does. Yes, it does, my friend. 173 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:09,883 Okay, we will be competing for gold, silver and bronze yogurt lids. 174 00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:12,385 Now, the bronze are really blue 175 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,888 and they're also the backside of the gold, so no flipping. 176 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,723 Okay, honor system. 177 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:22,771 Angela: / do play games. 178 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:26,399 I sing and I dangle things in front of my cats. 179 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:29,527 I play lots of games, just not at work. 180 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,946 Let the games begin. 181 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:40,246 And then I just need you to sign here at this arrow. 182 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,123 What kind of mortgage did you get? 183 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:43,583 Ten year. 184 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:47,504 Well, 10 over 30. So 30 year total. 185 00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:48,713 What? What? 186 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,132 You said 10. 187 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:56,304 Ten year fixed, over 30, 30 year total. 188 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:57,722 Oh, 30 years. 189 00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,265 Okay, okay, okay. 190 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,352 Wow, you'll be paying this off in your mid-70s. 191 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,062 All right. 192 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,272 Forget about retiring when you're 65. 193 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,359 Hey, I have an idea. You know that extra bedroom? 194 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:11,611 If the whole girlfriend thing never happens, that's where the nurse can live. 195 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:14,781 Okay, all right. Oh, boy. 196 00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:15,907 Okay, now, this is it. 197 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:16,991 Whenever you're ready. 198 00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:18,201 Yeah. 199 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:22,497 Oh, okay, is that supposed to come off? 200 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,623 Actually, yeah. 201 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,266 Dwight: Hey, look, cool, carpenter ants. 202 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:29,212 I'm going to take a little breather for a second, excuse me. 203 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,922 We'll be here waiting for you. 204 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,006 Oh, man. 205 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,300 A 30-year mortgage at Michael's age 206 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,553 essentially means that he's buying a coffin. 207 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:40,557 Now, if I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls 208 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,143 so you couldn't hear the other dead people. 209 00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:48,606 Carol: Whenever you're ready, Michael. 210 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:54,863 You have what is the national sport of Icelandic paper companies. 211 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,908 And I'm blanking on the name. Could you help me out, Pam? 212 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:02,954 Jim, they refer to it as "flonkerton." 213 00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:06,416 In English, "box-of-paper snowshoe racing." 214 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,669 Fair enough, but I like flonkerton. 215 00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,963 The thing about Jim is 216 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:16,009 when he's excited about something, like the office Olympics, 217 00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:19,721 he gets really into it and he does a really great job. 218 00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:23,141 But the problem with Jim is that he works here, 219 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,393 so that hardly ever happens. 220 00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:29,731 So, who will be challenging Kevin in flonkerton? 221 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,941 Anyone? I'll do it. 222 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,359 Yes, Phyllis. 223 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:34,736 Phyllis. 224 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:41,075 Phyllis, if you just put your foot right through here, right through the flonk. 225 00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:44,287 The ceilings are lower than they were last week. 226 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:45,413 That... I don't... 227 00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:46,765 What? I don't know if you showed me 228 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,082 the same unit or not. 229 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,876 Michael, this is the unit you saw. 230 00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:52,754 And where are all the hot people? 231 00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,965 I was told that there would be all these attractive singles. 232 00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,610 Who told you that? And as far as I can tell, 233 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,552 I'm the best-looking person here. 234 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:01,429 There's a basic principle in real estate, 235 00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:04,766 that you should never be the best-looking person in the development. 236 00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,184 It's just sort of common sense. 237 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:10,939 Because if you are, then you've no place to go but down. 238 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,899 Is this a financial thing? 239 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:16,486 If it's a financial thing, what some people do is they rent out the third bedroom. 240 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,796 That's an extra income for you. No, no. 241 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,531 I'm not going to rent the third bedroom. 242 00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:24,035 I want a price reduction or I am a-walking. 243 00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:28,498 You will lose $7,000 if you walk away right now. 244 00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:35,505 I made the right decision. I'm glad I signed. 245 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,174 Look, I'm a homeowner. Right? 246 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:41,386 Good to be a homeowner, diversified. This is good. 247 00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,596 This is fun. We're having fun. 248 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:44,681 Totally having fun. 249 00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:47,767 Can you imagine those poor saps stuck at the office today? 250 00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,271 Here we go. Here we go. 251 00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:52,522 Woman: Go, go, go! 252 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,692 Man: Pair of shoes. Dig deep. Dig deep. 253 00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:00,405 It's Phyllis, Phyllis by a nose. 254 00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:03,533 Gold medal in flernenton. Flonkerton. 255 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,493 Thank you, delegate from Iceland. 256 00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:16,671 Wow, okay, no one else should even try. 257 00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:19,924 Gold medals. Give him medals. 258 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:21,926 Wow. 259 00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:27,682 There's something else, Dwight, I want to talk to you about. 260 00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:30,643 I have a surprise for you, for helping me out today. 261 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:31,811 Oh, you didn't have to... 262 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:33,604 No, no, I insist, I insist. 263 00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,982 Because you've really done some great work, great work. 264 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:38,693 And that is why I'm going to let you 265 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:42,363 move into my third bedroom and pay me rent. 266 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:45,867 Why did I do it? 267 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:49,329 Because I believe in rewarding people for their efforts. 268 00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:53,833 I rewarded Dwight with the room 269 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:56,919 and he is rewarding me back 270 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,797 with $500 plus utilities. 271 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,966 I don't even know what to say. 272 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:05,595 I'm thinking, lock you into a four-year commitment. 273 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,513 We'll go month-to-month after that. 274 00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:11,434 Or until I start dating, have a girlfriend and then, you're... 275 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:13,394 You know, you're gone. So... 276 00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:16,022 Question. Where can I put my terrarium? 277 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,068 What the hell is a terrarium? 278 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,070 It's a fish tank for snakes and lizards. 279 00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,530 Oh, so, an aquarium? 280 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:30,328 That will not come into this place, okay? 281 00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:32,080 Question. Oh, my god. 282 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:36,209 My grandparents left me a large number of armoires. 283 00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,686 Pam: Are you sure you don't want to play? 284 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:38,711 I'm sure. 285 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:41,547 Come on, Angela, don't you have a game? 286 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,466 I have one, yes. 287 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:44,884 Well, let's play. What is it? 288 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:46,928 I call it "Pam-pong." 289 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,013 I count how many times Jim gets up from his desk 290 00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:51,432 and goes to reception to talk to you. 291 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,267 We're friends. 292 00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:54,435 Apparently. 293 00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,521 Jim: Very nicely done. 294 00:14:56,604 --> 00:15:00,733 Okay, so, I think that's h.O.R. For Stanley and h0. For Phyllis. 295 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:02,485 Are you calling me a ho? 296 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,569 Oh, my god. 297 00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,447 Phyllis coming alive, I like it. 298 00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:09,784 Question. What about car-pooling? Who pays for the gas? 299 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,244 We take separate cars. 300 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,347 Okay, question. Can sometimes I drive your car and you drive mine? 301 00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:15,164 Why would we do that? Just forfun. 302 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,290 Okay, question. 303 00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,934 Who's the primary on the fire insurance? 304 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,086 Game over. 305 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,131 Offer revoked, Dwight. 306 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:27,051 I'm sorry, but you reach out and you try to be a nice guy 307 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,929 and help out a friend and this is what happens. 308 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,764 This is what I get. 309 00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:35,101 Oh, god, I'm... okay. 310 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,813 Dwight: Thank god. 311 00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:42,692 It was nice of him to offer, butlee in a nine-bedroom farmhouse. 312 00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:47,071 I have my own crossbow range. It's a perfect situation for me. 313 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,240 Although, two bathrooms would have been nice. 314 00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:50,741 We just have the one. 315 00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,828 And it's under the porch. 316 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,583 Who had somebody from Vance refrigeration? 317 00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:00,293 I did. Ryan Howard. 318 00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:03,087 Ryan, gold medal. 319 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,215 I made something for our closing ceremonies. 320 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:10,470 What? Oh, my god. Where did you have time to make that? 321 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:14,765 Automatic voicemail. All right, Pam, all right. 322 00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,226 Nice work. 323 00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:29,447 You know, you can always refinance your mortgage. 324 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:32,283 We had a 15-year on our beet farm, we paid it off early. 325 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:35,828 Yeah, well, you know what? Nobody cares about your stupid beet farm. 326 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,413 Beets are the worst. 327 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,081 People love beets. Nobody likes beets. 328 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,166 Everyone loves beets. 329 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:42,460 Nobody likes beets, Dwight. 330 00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:45,630 Why don't you grow something that everybody does like? 331 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,632 You should grow candy. 332 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,594 I'd love a piece of candy right now. 333 00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:53,554 Not a beet. 334 00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,474 Let's get this roof going. Stop it! 335 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,559 Final lap, final lap. 336 00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:02,813 The time to beat is 1:15. Time to beat is one minute, 15 seconds. 337 00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:03,898 Here they come! 338 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,734 Meredith: Go, go, go! 339 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,280 Guys. 340 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,201 What is going on? Nothing. 341 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,120 Guys, timer's still going. 342 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,373 That's my stopwatch. 343 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,768 Here you go. All done. 344 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:41,894 Great. 345 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:44,397 Jim: Yeah, ifilled out the expense reports. 346 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:48,901 That took about five minutes and then I closed two sales at lunchtime, 347 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:52,905 so, about as productive as any other day, 348 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,116 if not more so. 349 00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:04,667 Ryan: I figured I could throw it away now 350 00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:08,796 or I could keep it for a couple of months and then throw it away. 351 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,762 I mean, it was really nice of Pam to make them, 352 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,342 but what am I going to do 353 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:17,763 with a gold medal made of paperclips and an old yogurt lid? 354 00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:28,899 Hey. 355 00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:29,984 I have 59 voicemails. 356 00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:35,865 Hey, can you ignore those and do something for me, instead? 357 00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:37,825 Sure. 358 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:40,494 Okay, today, 5:00, 359 00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,331 closing ceremonies. 360 00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:44,415 Really? 361 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:45,916 Notify the athletes. 362 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,209 Cool. 363 00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:51,255 Michael? 364 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,632 Yeah. Jim. Slim Jim. 365 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,052 What's going on? Nothing. 366 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,721 I just wanted to congratulate you on your condo. 367 00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:01,265 Oh, thanks, thanks. It's very cool. 368 00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:04,185 It's three bedroom, gay-friendly. Nice. 369 00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:05,353 You know. 370 00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,247 Hey, would you mind coming out here for a second? 371 00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,065 I just have something for you. 372 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,149 Really? 373 00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:13,778 What's this? 374 00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:16,906 These are the closing ceremonies. Step up. 375 00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:21,202 Here, on the top one. 376 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:26,415 Congratulations to Michael, because he closed on his condo, 377 00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:28,292 so gold medal. 378 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:37,176 I don't really know what to say. 379 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:43,849 I'm not one for making speeches, 380 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:47,561 but my heart is very full at this moment. 381 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:53,359 And for Dwight schrute, the silver medal. 382 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:56,904 Get on up here, Dwight. 383 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:03,953 Silver medal. 384 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,371 Yeah, not as good as gold. 385 00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:14,630 Why are you playing the national anthem? 386 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,300 'Cause your condo's in america. 387 00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,851 What the hell is that? 388 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,436 Those are the doves. 389 00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,133 Man: All right.