1 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:13,222 Happy Halloween, everyone! Oh, that's great. 2 00:00:13,305 --> 00:00:15,557 Hey. Happy Halloween. 3 00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:17,851 Jan called. 4 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,521 (Sighs) Okay. 5 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:24,733 I know why she's calling. 6 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:26,443 It's the end of the month, 7 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:30,322 and I was supposed to let somebody go by the end of the month. 8 00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:31,406 (Sighs) 9 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:34,952 And somehow I'm supposed to put on a costume and smile. 10 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,495 (Telephone ringing) 11 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,497 Okay. Sherry: Jan Levinson's office. 12 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,916 Hey, Sherry, Michael Scott returning. 13 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:42,584 Oh, she's in a meeting. 14 00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:45,337 She just wanted the name of the employee you let go. 15 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,220 Well, I'm gonna wait until the end of the day, 16 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,817 because the book said it's best to wait until the end of the day. 17 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:52,094 I just need the name of who you're planning to let go. 18 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:56,598 I don't know yet. I will have to call her back. 19 00:00:57,849 --> 00:00:59,977 I know she wanted the name. 20 00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,437 Okay, Sherry? Yeah. 21 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:06,858 If you were getting fired, how would you wanna be told 22 00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:10,821 so that you could still be friends with the person firing you? 23 00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:14,283 Jan wants the name as soon as possible, Michael. 24 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,702 Thanks. I'll call her back. 25 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,747 I wish I could fire Sherry. 26 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,917 Hey, I'm still here. Okay. I'm sorry. 27 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,168 Yeah. 28 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,420 Okay. 29 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,005 Hanging up now. 30 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:08,295 I mean, you hear about layoffs in the news, 31 00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:12,758 but when you actually have to do it yourself, it is heavy stuff. It's... 32 00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:16,303 I mean, these are people's lives you're talking about. 33 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,513 You wanted me? Yes. 34 00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:28,732 Papier-maché? Yes. Yes. 35 00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:34,196 Pam, I have to let somebody go today. 36 00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:37,616 This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. 37 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,576 Why did you put it off until Halloween? 38 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,120 Because it's very scary stuff. 39 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,581 I think it's gonna put a damper on the party a little. 40 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:47,501 You're worried about the party? There's a man's life at stake here. 41 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,294 So it's a man? 42 00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:52,214 Or woman. A human life. 43 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,217 If you had to guess who it would be 44 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,470 based on their job performance 45 00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:02,182 and who you think deserves to be fired, who would that be? 46 00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:04,559 I just answer the phone. 47 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:08,355 And sometimes you just let it go to voicemail. 48 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,322 Your costume is fantastic. 49 00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:22,327 I know. I sent away for it in July from a catalog. 50 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,373 Pam: Oh, no. Don't, don't, don't, don't. 51 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:27,457 (Screeching) 52 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,001 Okay. 53 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:34,047 Oh, man. Okay, I have to fire somebody. 54 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,513 What is that? What are you supposed to be? 55 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,891 I'm the three-hole punch version of Jim, 56 00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:48,520 'cause you can have me either way, plain white Jim or three-hole punch. 57 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:51,106 That's great. I like it. Jim: Oh? Yeah. 58 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,483 Yeah, well, look. What about me? 59 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,152 (Hissing) What are... 60 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,447 What are you? A monk? 61 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,075 I'm a sith lord. 62 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:05,829 Oh, big deal. 63 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,082 Three round pieces of paper taped to a shirt. 64 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,835 This cost me $129. 65 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:13,795 Ass. 66 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,594 Hey, you guys excited about the party? 67 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,262 It's gonna be fun. 68 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,430 Yeah. Yes. 69 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:27,142 Oh, and look at you. Showing your colors. 70 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:30,353 Don't you wish you wore a dress every day. What are you implying? 71 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,856 All good. Happy Halloween. 72 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:36,067 What happened to all of those spooky decorations that we had, 73 00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,694 the cobwebs and such? 74 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,614 Yeah, I don't know. We put them all up last night. 75 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:44,576 (Sighs) 76 00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:47,913 Well, you know what? Go buy some more. I'll approve the overages. 77 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,164 Sound good? Yeah. 78 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,332 Good. 79 00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:53,919 Oh, yeah, also, about budget stuff... 80 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:59,090 I'm gonna need you to find, like, a full employee salary plus benefits. 81 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:00,717 Like 50 grand. 82 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,012 I'm gonna need you to find 50 grand in the numbers. 83 00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:05,847 But we don't keep two sets of books. 84 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:08,308 Well, that's not what I'm saying. Just, you know, find it. 85 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,852 Pretend that yourjobs depend on it. 86 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,652 (Laughs) 87 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,905 Interesting take on Dorothy. I love it. 88 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:25,534 Hey, you know what would even be better? A soccer ball and cleats. 89 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:28,203 Why is that? Bend it like Beckham. 90 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:31,581 Oh, like the movie about the Indian girl who plays soccer? 91 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,084 Yeah, that would be perfect. 92 00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:38,171 Yeah, I mean, I guess I could do that. 93 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,375 It'd be funny. I don't really play soccer or anything. 94 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:43,134 Well, I don't really have two heads. So... 95 00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:47,264 Wait, what are you again? Oh, right. Three-hole punch! 96 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:54,145 Okay, greatest strength. Okay, okay. 97 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:57,858 A dog-like obedience to authority. Nice. 98 00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:01,152 But that doesn't sound good. Okay, okay. 99 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,447 How about the ultimate team player? 100 00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:07,284 Dwight is special. 101 00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:11,621 But I don't believe that his talents are being used in this office. 102 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:14,040 So Pam and I have put his resume 103 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:17,168 on monster. Com, Google, Craig's list. 104 00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:21,756 We're really interested most in jobs that take Dwight out of state. 105 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,843 Preferably Alaska or India. 106 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,636 (Whispering) He's a gun nut. 107 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,721 (Grunting) 108 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:29,890 (Whispering) Sticks to his guns. 109 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:33,059 Well, I looked through all the budgets 110 00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:34,769 and there is one department... yes. 111 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,563 Yeah. That has three people... 112 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,899 Doing the work that could be done by two. 113 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:40,483 This is great. 114 00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:45,864 Yeah. 115 00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:50,744 Who do you think it should be? Jim, definitely. 116 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,245 No, Jim brings in money. 117 00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:53,955 Phyms? 118 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:57,667 Stanley, Pam, Oscar, Meredith, 119 00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,337 Kevin, Angela. 120 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,130 It's not a popularity contest. 121 00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:05,467 Although it does make sense to fire the least popular 122 00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:08,511 becausethathas the least effect on morale. 123 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:11,514 One of the warehouse guys. 124 00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:13,266 What? 125 00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:18,146 There is someone left off that list? Who? Who is he saying? 126 00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:19,230 (Gasps) 127 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:22,359 You're right. I didn't even think of him. 128 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,944 No, Michael. 129 00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,071 Yeah, that's actually a really good idea. No. 130 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:29,032 No. Not me. Yeah, I could. 131 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:32,118 Not Dwight. I'm not saying that's what he said. 132 00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,954 I know that's what he said. 133 00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:35,121 What? 134 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,832 Tell him not Dwight. 135 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,126 That is not a very nice thing to say about him. 136 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,294 Tell him to stop. 137 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,046 Are you kidding? Quiet, you! 138 00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,006 I agree. He'd land on his feet. 139 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,257 Make him be quiet. 140 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:53,056 Those aren't chips and dip. No, I made brownies. 141 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:54,683 (Exclaims) 142 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:56,685 What? 143 00:07:56,768 --> 00:08:00,522 I'm just trying to figure out why you're sabotaging things. 144 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:04,943 I made brownies. And I made cookies. Same category. 145 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:07,654 (Sighs) 146 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:11,199 I'm guessing Angela's the one in the neighborhood 147 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:15,370 who gives the trick-or-treaters some toothbrushes, 148 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:17,956 pennies, 149 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,500 walnuts... 150 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,419 Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. 151 00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,296 Yeah. 152 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:30,802 Just one second. I will transfer you to our manager, Michael Scott. 153 00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:33,388 (Telephone rings) 154 00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:34,556 Wow. 155 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,019 Michael Scott here. 156 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,981 Yes, I am regional manager of this orifice. 157 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:44,774 Hmm-hmm. 158 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:48,737 Dwight schrute is amazing. 159 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,572 Yeah. 160 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:54,784 No, he is actually the single greatest employee of his generation. 161 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:56,786 Hmm-hmm. 162 00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:58,496 You know what? I'm gonna tell you what. 163 00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:02,625 You hire Dwight k. Schrute and he does not meet, 164 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:07,380 nay, exceed every one of your wildest expectations, 165 00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:12,135 well, then, you can hold me, Michael Gary Scott 166 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:15,138 personally and financially responsible. 167 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:18,433 Okay. Okay. Okay. 168 00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,268 Okay. 169 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:29,652 Stanley, could you come with me, please? No. 170 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:35,200 As assistant regional manager... to the? 171 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,952 Look, I've got some bad news. 172 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,790 You're fired. You need to pack up your things and go. 173 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:46,044 I'm serious, Stanley. It's over. I'm sorry. 174 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,670 "You're fired." 175 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,507 Get your fingers off my phone. 176 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:59,641 So, how did it go with Stanley? How did he take it? 177 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,768 He wouldn't listen to me. Oh, come on. 178 00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:04,246 If you wanna fire him, you're gonna have to tell him yourself. 179 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,272 I don't wanna fire Stanley. I never said that. 180 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:09,150 I'm certainly not going to do it myself. 181 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:12,529 Get those big baleful eyes staring at me. 182 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,615 Yikes. Just... okay, just... 183 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,910 Cumberland mills? 184 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,622 And how did you get my resume? 185 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,667 Oh, no, no. I'm very flattered. Don't get me wrong. 186 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:29,003 I'm just not sure that it's my official résumé 187 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:31,422 or if it's something that maybe 188 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:34,509 a satisfied customer posted online. 189 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,888 What does it say under martial arts training? 190 00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:42,392 Oh, okay, I'm gonna have to supplement that. 191 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,686 Could I have your fax number? 192 00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:48,690 Would I ever leave this company? Look, I'm all about onalty. 193 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:52,944 In fact, I feel like part of what I'm getting paid for here is my loyalty. 194 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:57,448 But if there were somewhere else that valued that loyalty more highly, 195 00:10:57,949 --> 00:11:01,369 I'm going wherever they value onalty the most. 196 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,748 Oh, hey. 197 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:10,170 Oh, your dress is stuck in the back. Gotta just... 198 00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,676 So you got the fax. 199 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:19,053 So why didn't you add it to the resume? 200 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:22,056 What do you mean? Of course, martial arts training is relevant. 201 00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,266 Oh, excuse me, 202 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:26,394 I know about a billion asians that would beg to differ. 203 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,732 Yeah, I get a little frustrated when I'm dealing with incompetence! 204 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,535 Well, you know what? You can go to he”, too, 205 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,861 and I will see you there burning. 206 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:39,115 Fine. Oh, wait, so you'll let me know when you've made a decision... 207 00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,288 Jim is really talented. 208 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:49,250 And he should be the one who's getting a betterjob offer. 209 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,835 Like, for real. 210 00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:55,548 Don't take this the wrong way, but you should go for that job. 211 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,806 Yeah. It's in Maryland. 212 00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:06,142 But, I mean, look at the salary, 213 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:10,605 and it's definitely a step up and a challenge. 214 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,108 Yeah. 215 00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,489 Yeah. You know what, maybe... 216 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,533 Maybe I will. 217 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:26,955 Jim. 218 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:31,334 This is called leveraging an offer. 219 00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:36,172 Michael, can I talk to you mramomem? Oh, god. 220 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:40,468 I just thought you should know that I was just offered a job 221 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,845 with better pay, better benefits, 222 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:45,932 and a better title at cumberland mills. 223 00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,059 Fantastic. And I turned it down. 224 00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:50,520 What? That would have solved all my problems. 225 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:54,691 Out of loyalty to this company. Oh, you idiot. Go. 226 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,777 So I was hoping to be made assistant regional manager officially. 227 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,446 If you left, iwouldn't have to fire anybody. 228 00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:02,740 But then you wouldn't have me here. Big deal. 229 00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:05,785 Oh, it would have worked out so well. Can you get it back? 230 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,954 It's in Maryland. You could call. Can you call them? 231 00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:10,748 I can't... I suppose I... no. 232 00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:13,751 (Yelling) They never really made me an offer anyway. 233 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:16,879 Why are you torturing me? God. 234 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:23,970 Honestly, I don't think Michael has the slightest clue of who he's gonna fire. 235 00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:26,931 I think he keeps hoping that someone's gonna volunteer, 236 00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:29,934 or be run over by a bus before the deadline. 237 00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,652 But in the end, really, what's gonna happen is 238 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:36,316 it's gonna be the first person to give him a dirty look in the hall. 239 00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:39,319 And therein lies the true essence of his charisma. 240 00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:40,820 (Michael clears throat) 241 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,574 Can I speak to you a minute? Yes. 242 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,686 Michael, I really didn't mean to... help me. 243 00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:17,690 I'm sorry? I want you to role-play firing me. 244 00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:20,276 I want you to fire me, and I will take it. 245 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,403 Oh, you want me to be you. Yes. 246 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,447 Okay. I want you to be me and I will be creed. 247 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,532 Oh, are you firing creed? No, no, no. 248 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:30,078 That's just first thing... Came... can't... that head... 249 00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:33,539 We should switch seats in order to... yes, that's a good idea. 250 00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:34,957 All right? 251 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,210 Excuse me. 252 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,171 (Clears throat) 253 00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:44,467 I'm really sorry, but I have to let you go. 254 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:48,012 And it's purely budgetary. It's not personal... 255 00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:49,347 (Screaming) 256 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:52,308 I'm gonna kill myself! Wow. 257 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:55,228 I'm going to kill myself and it's your fault! 258 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,896 That's an overreaction. 259 00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:59,440 Corporate is really breathing down my neck 260 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:02,110 and they're saying this has to be done by the end of the month... 261 00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:04,529 Is this you? Are you being you? Or is this creed? 262 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,364 Are you... I am... 263 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,325 This is creed. Okay. 264 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:12,245 I'm improvising. So just try to keep up. 265 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:13,830 And I'm very angry. Hold that thought. 266 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,993 And I want... I'm gonna kill you. Michael Scott here. 267 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,167 Pntgonnaldhyou forfinngrne. Toby 268 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,395 I really have to take this, creed, 269 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,419 so it was really a pleasure working with you, okay? 270 00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:24,132 Get off. Get off. No, no. Just get up. 271 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,847 Just, just... yeah. 272 00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:32,181 (Sighs) 273 00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:36,144 What happened? It wasn't me. 274 00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:40,231 Oh, that was, like, crazy, because I was... yeah, I know. 275 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,825 Hey, creed? 276 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,537 Could I talk to you for a second? 277 00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:02,628 You are great and very ambitious, 278 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:07,341 and I feel like you want more than this little office has to offer. 279 00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:10,636 And I understand that you'd want to just spread your wings 280 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,806 and fly the Coop. What are you telling me? 281 00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:17,560 We're gonna have to... You want something better. 282 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,021 No, I don't. I wanna stay right here. 283 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:23,441 No, you wanna leave. No, I wanna stay here. 284 00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:26,068 Now, why are you making this so hard? 285 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,952 I think there's a misunderstanding about this. 286 00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:29,238 I think you're right. 287 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,741 Canlgo? No, ofcowseyoucantgo! 288 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:35,495 We haven't even started this horrible process of... 289 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,039 Okay, creed. 290 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:41,918 I need to let somebody go today. 291 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,922 They told me I need to let somebody go. 292 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,716 And as much as I think you're a great guy, and I like you, 293 00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:51,135 you're... goodbye. 294 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,971 Let's fight it. 295 00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:57,308 Let's call jan and fight this thing together like the old days. 296 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,031 What old days? What are you talking about? 297 00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:00,686 Did you start the paperwork yet? 298 00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,090 It's right here on the desk, yeah. 299 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,649 You don't have to do this, Michael. I can't, though. 300 00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:06,984 Undo it! I can't change anything. 301 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,129 This is the way it... no. You have the power to undo it. 302 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:11,447 I don't. Okay, just let's not... you can undo it. 303 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,907 Michael, undo it! 304 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:16,077 Yeah, I went hunting once. Shot the deer in the leg. 305 00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:19,205 Had to kill it with a shovel, took about an hour. 306 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,498 Why do you ask? 307 00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:23,501 I have to fire someone today. Okay? 308 00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:28,130 Fine. Fire someone else. Fire Devon. He's terrible. 309 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,841 I am so much better at my job than Devon. 310 00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:33,844 Okay, well, I already picked you and you know that, 311 00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:36,847 so, unless I just go through with this, 312 00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:39,559 you're always gonna look at me as the guy who almost fired you. 313 00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:43,813 No, no, no, no, no, no. I will forget so fast. You will be my savior. 314 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:47,108 You're the guy who gave me my life back. 315 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,278 Thank you. I knew you'd see it my way, Michael. 316 00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:51,404 God bless you. 317 00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,030 You're a fine man. Don't... 318 00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,740 Listen, you will not regret this, either. 319 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:57,368 Devon is terrible. No one's gonna miss him. 320 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,329 Good, good, good, good. 321 00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:02,873 (Door opens) 322 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:19,223 Devon, could I talk to you for a second? 323 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,143 Creed's an idiot. You know that. Well, he... 324 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:25,146 No, no, no, no, no, no. You had it right the first time! 325 00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:29,108 Well, maybe I did. Exactly, you gotta go with your gut, man. 326 00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:30,610 (Sighs) 327 00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:33,112 No, I can't... 328 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:36,157 No, I can't go back. I would look like an idiot. 329 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,908 That's why I'm being fired? No. 330 00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,452 So you might not look like an idiot? 331 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,037 No, it was all the stuff that I said. 332 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,581 It was the business downturn and cutbacks, and... 333 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,958 You... God, this is unbelievable! 334 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:49,045 I just hope that you and I can remain friends. 335 00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:54,050 Devon, wait. Please. What? 336 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,593 Look, look. 337 00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,930 In addition to severance and everything, 338 00:19:00,014 --> 00:19:02,892 I want to give you 339 00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:07,563 this gift certificate to chili's from me. 340 00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:11,233 Okay? No hard feelings. 341 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:19,492 Kevin, Jim, Pam, Kelly, Toby, Oscar, Meredith, 342 00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:21,994 Phyllis, Stanley, or the temp. 343 00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:25,414 If any of you wanna meet me for a drink, I'm gonna be at poor Richard's. 344 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,958 And the rest of you can go to hell. 345 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,507 (Door slams) 346 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,301 What about the Halloween party? 347 00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,307 Oh, hey, Jim. Wait, stop. 348 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,396 I'm sorry for pushing you toward cumberland. 349 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:53,484 Seriously, if you left here, I would blow my brains out. 350 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:56,821 Come on. 351 00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,907 Jim: That's just a figure of speech, you know. 352 00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:02,159 Blow your brains out? Come on. 353 00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:04,203 All it really means is that we 're friends. 354 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:07,957 And who else is she gonna talk to if I'm gone? Right? 355 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:11,544 I mean, if she left, I wouldn't blow my brains out. 356 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:15,214 Of course, I would take that job in Maryland because it's double the pay 357 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:18,843 and soft-shell crab just happens to be my favorite food. 358 00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:27,893 Michael: I love Halloween. 359 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:31,605 You know, it's just... but it's just fun. Every year, it's just fun. 360 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:34,859 Last Halloween, I came as Janet Jackson's boob. 361 00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,110 (Michael laughs) 362 00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,280 It was topical. People got a big kick out of it. 363 00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:42,366 The year before that I came as Monica Lewinsky, 364 00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:45,077 and I wore a stained dress. 365 00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:48,456 The year before that, I also came as Monica Lewinsky, 366 00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:52,460 and before that I was o.J. It was pretty funny. 367 00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:54,670 Oh, I wish you were here last year. 368 00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:01,927 (Doorbell rings) 369 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,514 Kids: Trick-or-treat! 370 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,475 Hey. How you doing? 371 00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:09,643 Wow, you guys look great! 372 00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:12,855 I'm a bumble bee. You look great. 373 00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:15,232 And you're a Princess? A fairy Princess. 374 00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:17,443 A fairy Princess. You're very... I'm a lion! 375 00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:19,612 You're a lion. Wow. I wanna hear your... 376 00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:22,740 Oh! Okay, that's all yours. That's all yours. Okay! 377 00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:23,908 Grab it. Grab it. 378 00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,911 You know what? You guys are getting all of these.