1 00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:03,337 Nothing much, what's up with you? 2 00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,797 Icannotbeheve I fell for that. 3 00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:07,883 Oh, my gosh! 4 00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:11,178 What? What? Where's the funny? 5 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,347 Give it to me. 6 00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:17,893 Is it me or does it smell like updog in here? 7 00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:19,061 What's "updog"? 8 00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,979 Nothing much, what's up with you? 9 00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:26,485 Oh, wow. I walked right into that. 10 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,654 Oh, that's brilliant. 11 00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:31,448 Hey, Stanley, is thatjacket made of updog? 12 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:32,783 I'm on the phone. 13 00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:39,414 What flavor coffee is that? Updog? 14 00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:40,541 What's that? 15 00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:43,126 I don't know. Nothing, what's up with you? 16 00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:46,129 No, damn it. 17 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:47,589 What does that mean? 18 00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:48,840 What does what mean? 19 00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,426 That thing you just said. Just forget it. 20 00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:52,803 Dwight! 21 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:56,932 Hey, is it me, or does this place smell like updog? 22 00:00:57,015 --> 00:01:01,311 What's "updog"? Gotcha! Oh, god. 23 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:02,896 Crap. 24 00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:07,359 Nothing. How are you doing? 25 00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,152 Good. 26 00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:10,779 How are you doing? 27 00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:16,952 Damn it! 28 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,866 Michael: Today is spring cleaning day here at dunder Mifflin. 29 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,702 And yes, I know it's January. I am not an idiot. 30 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,371 But, if you do your spring cleaning in January, 31 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:04,124 guess what you don't have to do in the spring! 32 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:05,417 Anything. 33 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:08,378 They say a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind. 34 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:12,132 Well, I say an empty desk means an... empty mind. 35 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:15,260 No, that's not... no, that's not what I was gonna say. 36 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,304 Meredith, the men's room. 37 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:20,807 Make sure you replace the urinal cakes, they're worn down. 38 00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:23,518 Kevin, file drawers. 39 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:27,022 Angela, kitchen. Oscar, dusting. 40 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,524 Where is Oscar? He's out sick. 41 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,779 That's unacceptable. I agree. It's unacceptable. 42 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,119 What are you guys doing? 43 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,665 Michael? Yes? 44 00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:49,670 Oscar is out sick. 45 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,422 On a Friday? 46 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,055 Can I do some of the talking? I will do the talking. 47 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,658 Okay, let him know thathn here. Oscar: Hello? 48 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,602 What difference does it make whether you're here? 49 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:06,186 Hello? Hi, Oscar, it's Michael. 50 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,521 And Dwight. 51 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,940 Yeah. Heard you were under the weather? 52 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,900 Yeah, I think I came down with the flu. 53 00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:14,403 Really? Oh, that is a shame. 54 00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,571 You know it's cleaning day here today. 55 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:19,199 Could've used some of that famous hispanic cleaning ethic. 56 00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:20,742 Yeah, I feel terrible about it. 57 00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:22,828 Ask him his symptoms, I'm on webmd. 58 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,246 What are your symptoms? 59 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,164 I have the chills. 60 00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:28,917 I'm feeling nauseous, and my head's killing. 61 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:32,879 Checks out. 62 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:34,683 Michael, is there anything you need from me? 63 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,134 I'd like to go back to bed. I need you to go to bed. 64 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:40,220 I need you to get better. See you Monday, unless you're still sick. 65 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:41,555 So have a great long weekend. 66 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,265 I 'ii just be sleep... 67 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,436 Okay, first impressions. He sounded sick. 68 00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:49,271 Which is exactly how you'd want to sound, 69 00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,082 if you wanted someone to think you were sick. 70 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,333 That's exactly what I was thinking. 71 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,735 Quesfion. May I investigate? Yeah. 72 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:57,487 Drop what you're doing. Make this a priority. 73 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,615 Because an office can't function efficiently 74 00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:03,952 unless people are at their desks, doing their jobs. 75 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,287 I bought my veil. 76 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,539 Oh, my god, that is so exciting! 77 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,416 Can I be a bridesmaid? 78 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,712 Listen, you don't have to answer now, but how are you going to do your hair? 79 00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:16,381 Okay, I was thinking about wearing it down. 80 00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:20,927 Kind of like, I don't know, like, loose with big curls? 81 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:23,555 You look like an angel. I'm seriously gonna cry. 82 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:26,767 Wowey! Mikey iikey! 83 00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:30,687 Why don't you wear your hair like that all the time? It's much sexier. 84 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:35,150 Man, this must be torture for you. 85 00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:38,528 Yeah, on the booze cruise, 86 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:42,282 I told Michael about some feelings I used to have for Pam. 87 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:46,953 I had just broken up with Katy, and had a couple of drinks, 88 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:51,082 and I confided in the world's worst confidante. 89 00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:58,381 Hey, Michael. Michael: Hey, Jim-bag! 90 00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:03,136 Remember that thing I told you on the booze cruise about Pam? 91 00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:05,514 That was personal. 92 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:08,892 So if we could just keep that between you and me, that would be great. 93 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,102 Really? Who else knows? 94 00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:12,354 Nobody. 95 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:13,897 Wow. 96 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:19,236 Jim and I are great friends. We hang out a ton, mostly at work. 97 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,405 But the fact that he told me his secret and no one else 98 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,783 says everything about our friendship. 99 00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:30,163 And it is why I intend on keeping that secret for as long as I possibly can. 100 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:32,666 My lips are sealed. 101 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:33,893 My lips are sealed 102 00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:36,336 bangles. All right. Great. Thank you. 103 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,505 Can you hear me? 104 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:42,467 They talk about us telling lies 105 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:47,138 listen, temp. I'm conducting a little investigation. 106 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:50,433 So, I'm no longer gonna be able to head up spring cleaning. 107 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:51,893 Do you think you can handle it? 108 00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:53,436 Yeah, I think I can handle it. 109 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,314 Do you think, or do you know? 110 00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,316 I think. 111 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,113 Oh, god. Here. 112 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:08,952 Hey, what you getting? I'm going with grape. 113 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,830 Good stuff. Good stuff. 114 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:14,624 Did you see the game last night? 115 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:15,750 Which game? 116 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,294 Any of them. 117 00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:24,551 So, what's the 411? Any updates on the "p" situation? 118 00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:26,678 I don't know any... p-a-m. 119 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,847 P-a-m. Yeah. Oh, okay. 120 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:31,391 No, it's okay, we're talking code. What is? 121 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:34,519 Listen, Stan, you know, how long does it take for you to pick out a soda? 122 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:38,148 I'm gonna take off, actually. All right, well, cool. 123 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,484 Still deciding? 124 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:48,408 Peachicetea. You're gonna hate it. 125 00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:51,620 Hey, Oscar. How you doing? Dwight schrute calling. 126 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,538 Listen, little question for you, buddy. 127 00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:56,750 I called six minutes ago and no one answered. 128 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:59,336 So, I was wondering if you could explain... 129 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:04,215 Oh, I see. So, sounds like you're too sick to come into work, 130 00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:06,426 but you're well enough to go to the pharmacy. 131 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:09,763 There are several different ways to tell if a perp is lying. 132 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,515 The liar will avoid direct eye contact. 133 00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:17,062 The liar will cover part of his or her face with his hand, 134 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,271 especially the mouth. 135 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,066 The liar will perspire. 136 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:26,905 Unfortunately, I spoke to Oscar on the phone so none of this is useful. 137 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:34,996 It's grape! Soda! 138 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,539 Tony the tiger. Yeah. 139 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,750 You don't hear that much anymore. Not so much. 140 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,669 Okay, what is going on here? 141 00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:43,546 Nothing. Oh, really, nothing? 142 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,841 Fact. You are drinking grape soda, you never drink grape soda. 143 00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:49,803 Fact. You are talking to Jim, you never talk to Jim. 144 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:52,389 Fact. I love grape soda, I always have. 145 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:56,226 Fact. Jim and I talk all the time. We tell each other secrets. 146 00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,895 Okay, so what is the secret, Michael? Look, l_ 147 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:02,232 I had asked Michael if I could head up the Oscar investigation. 148 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,275 And he said that only Dwight 149 00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:07,904 was capable of handling such sensitive material. 150 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,866 Is that true? 151 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:20,333 I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is. 152 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,419 Thank you, Michael. 153 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,879 I know you're telling the truth. Okay. 154 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:27,799 I can tell. I won't let you down. 155 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,175 Good. 156 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,510 Thanks. 157 00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:36,433 Nice. That was slick. What are you doing for lunch? 158 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,660 I don't know. I'm probably just gonna eat 159 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,602 my ham and cheese sandwich in the break room. 160 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,438 Oh, nonsense, no way. No. 161 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,899 Why don't I take you out to lunch? My treat. 162 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,651 No. That's all right. Thank you, though. 163 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,380 It's... I gotta do some cleaning, I should probably stick around here. 164 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:50,655 Hey, you know what we could do? 165 00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,466 We could spread out a blanket in the break room, 166 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,701 have a little picnic, order some 'za. 167 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:57,704 Talk about you know who. 168 00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,122 Oh, no. 169 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:02,000 You know what? Let's go out. That was a good idea. Let's go out. 170 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,668 I know just the place. 171 00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:10,884 Oh, man. You should order milk. Get it? 172 00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,054 Why do I like Hooters? 173 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:19,267 Well, I will give you two reasons. The boobs and the hot wings. 174 00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:25,398 Here we go, here we go. Bogey at 3:00. 175 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,609 Hi. Hey, I'm Dana, welcome to Hooters. 176 00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:31,154 We're not worthy, we're not worthy! 177 00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:36,785 Heho, Dana. I am Michael and this is Jim. 178 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:39,871 And we are brothers. No. We're not brothers. 179 00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:41,831 I'm his boss, actually, and I treat him well. 180 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,375 I'm taking him out to lunch because I can afford it. 181 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:45,960 And he can have whatever he wants. 182 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,480 Could I just have the ham and cheese sandwich? 183 00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:48,505 Dana: Great. Thanks. 184 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,466 And for you? Tell me, Dana. How is your chicken breast? 185 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:54,427 Oh, it's great. It's served with our world-famous wing sauce. 186 00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:55,970 Sounds yummy. 187 00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:59,557 I will have a chicken breast, hold the chicken. 188 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,228 Is that what you really want? 189 00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:09,150 No, I'm gonna have the gourmet hot dog. Great. 190 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,325 Who took all the black ones? That's a communal bowl. 191 00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:20,036 So, how did Oscar sound when he called in? 192 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:23,081 Sick. Like lots of sniffling, I don't know. 193 00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,457 Sniffling, how? 194 00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,603 How many different ways are there to sniffle? 195 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,837 Three. 196 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,297 Okay, it was the second one. 197 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:35,051 Okay, good, thank you. That wasn't so hard, now, was it? 198 00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,016 What do you like best about Pam? 199 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,018 Oh, I really don't want to talk about it. 200 00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:46,229 Isitherlegs, herboobs, her_ 201 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:49,816 She's easy to talk to, I guess. 202 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,402 And, uh, she's got a really good sense of humor. 203 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:55,321 Really? Never gets any of my jokes. 204 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,534 What about you? Her boobs, definitely. 205 00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:02,203 Wow. That's not what I meant. 206 00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:03,621 Dana: Here you go. Oh, thank you. 207 00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:06,374 And I understand we have a birthday today! 208 00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,835 Oh, happy birthday, Jim! 209 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,628 Dana: Ready, girls? Front side! 210 00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:13,631 You put your front side in you put your front side out 211 00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:16,676 you put your front side in and you shake it all about 212 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:19,679 you do the hokey—pokey and you turn yourself around 213 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,431 that's what it's all about! 214 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,267 Thank you. Oh, yeah! 215 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,768 Thanks. Thanks, Dana. 216 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,604 Thank you very much! 217 00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:31,274 There you go. 218 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,817 Hhanous. Hey! 219 00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:37,363 What did you guys talk about? Just, you know, politics, literature. 220 00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:39,908 I hate you. 221 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,369 Quick Oscar update. 222 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,639 I have conducted interviews with everyone in the office... 223 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,224 Just go to his house and see if he's sick. 224 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:49,751 I could have done this investigation in, like, 20 minutes. 225 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,920 Including prep time? Just do it. 226 00:11:57,508 --> 00:12:00,720 Ryan: If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, 227 00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:03,556 and nobody would ever know I had ever been here. 228 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,309 And I'd forget, too. 229 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,155 Michael: Expense this. 230 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:24,285 Michael, is that a wig? No, it's... 231 00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,371 I wear it like that sometimes. 232 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:28,414 Is that a wig? 233 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:31,334 This is from Hooters. Yeah. It's a business lunch. 234 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:35,213 Did Toby approve this? No, he did not. I don't need his permission. 235 00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,465 You just got your corporate credit card back. 236 00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,342 You really want me to take it away again? 237 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,760 It's ridiculous. 238 00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:44,889 They took my card away because I spent 80 bucks at a magic shop. 239 00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:48,017 What they don't understand is that I bought the stuff 240 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:52,146 to impress potential clients, so business related. Right? 241 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:55,275 I put a cigarette through a freaking quarter, 242 00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:58,569 and you know what, Toby, they almost bought from us. 243 00:12:58,653 --> 00:12:59,862 I'm not processing this. 244 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:03,032 Look, Jim needed a relaxing lunch. 245 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,369 He has been depressed and it has been affecting his productivity. 246 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:09,038 How is that not work-related? He seems fine to me. 247 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,957 You're not his friend, you don't know. 248 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,960 He is in love with a girl he works with who is engaged, 249 00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,170 so just cut me some slack. Please? 250 00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:17,380 Pam? 251 00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:29,309 Angela, who would you choose? Jim or Roy? 252 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:33,521 It's nobody's business, Phyllis. Roy. 253 00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,692 Jim has got it bad for Pam. 254 00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:40,111 Oh! Which one is Pam? 255 00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:42,363 Well, she's... 256 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:43,948 Hey, Michael. 257 00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:46,576 So, do you think Jim will try to break up the wedding? 258 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,911 You know what, Kevin, Jim is a friend of mine. 259 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:52,081 So, the only people that this crush really concerns 260 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,750 is Jim and Pam, and me. 261 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,896 Dwight: As a volunteer sheriff's deputy, 262 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,922 I've been doing surveillance for years. 263 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:04,761 One time, I suspected an ex-girlfriend of mine of cheating on me. 264 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:08,973 So I tailed her for six nights straight. Turns out, she was. 265 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:12,018 With a couple of guys, actually, so... 266 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,272 Mystery solved. 267 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:20,777 Jim, why didn't you tell me that you had a crush on Pam? 268 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,095 Jim: Well, the cat's out of the bag. 269 00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:28,868 I used to have a crush on Pam, and now I don't. 270 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,329 Riveting. 271 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:34,957 Yeah. 272 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,417 No, it's not. 273 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:37,668 Nice. 274 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,172 She's so hot. 275 00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:47,428 Hey! 276 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,989 Did you find anything good in your desk? 277 00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,392 Uh, coupon for a free sandwich. 278 00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:54,477 Score! Expired in August. 279 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,938 And my cell phone charger from two years ago. 280 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,481 Big day. Big day. 281 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,734 Hey, listen. 282 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:12,161 I told Michael on the booze cruise... it's so stupid. 283 00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:20,294 I told Michael that I had had a crush on you 284 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,214 when you first started here. Oh. 285 00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:29,095 Well, I just thought that... I figured you should hear it from me 286 00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:33,141 rather than... I mean, you know Michael. 287 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:35,226 Right. 288 00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:40,648 And, seriously, it's totally not a big deal. 289 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:41,774 Okay? 290 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:46,446 And when I found out that you were engaged, I mean... 291 00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:49,574 No, I know. Like, I kind of... 292 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:54,078 Like I thought that maybe you did when I first started. 293 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,204 Oh, you did? 294 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,099 No, I mean, just 'cause we, like, got along so well. 295 00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,876 Oh, yeah. No, yeah, you saw through me. Great. 296 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,797 So, are you gonna be, like, totally awkward around me now? 297 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:09,010 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hope that's okay. 298 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,511 Mmm-hmm. 299 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:16,601 And, Pam? It was, like, three years ago. 300 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,646 So, I am totally over it. 301 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,191 Cool. 302 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:24,567 Okay. 303 00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:33,951 Stay low. 304 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,957 This is it. There he is. 305 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:43,127 He's been gone for at least two... who is that? 306 00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:45,546 Come to papa. 307 00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:49,800 Oh, yes. 308 00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:54,597 Let's roll. I knew it! 309 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:02,688 Oh, man! You are so busted! 310 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:07,527 Ice skates, shopping bags? I think I know what's going on here. 311 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,238 You weren't sick at all. 312 00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:11,405 Who is this? 313 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,407 This is Dwight schrute. 314 00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:14,659 Who is this? 315 00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:15,993 Gil. 316 00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,329 Are you going to tell Michael? 317 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:19,747 How about this. 318 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,207 I don't tell Michael, 319 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:25,211 and in exchange, you owe me one great big, giant favor, 320 00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:29,882 redeemable by me at a time and place of my choosing. 321 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,718 Guess what I found out about Oscar tonight. 322 00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:36,347 He was lying about being sick. 323 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:40,059 Should I have reported Oscar's malfeasance? 324 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:44,063 Probably, but now I know something he doesn't want me to know. 325 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:48,234 So I can use his malfeasance to establish leverage. 326 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:53,197 Otherwise, it's just malfeasance, for malfeasance's sake. 327 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,202 Jim: Hey. I know. 328 00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:00,746 I know, I know. 329 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:06,794 What happened? I... oh, just... 330 00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:11,090 I was trying... the expense reports... and then... 331 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:15,428 Toby, you know, hejust... I know, I just... 332 00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:17,513 I just hope it... 333 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:21,183 I just hope that this doesn't affect our friendship. 334 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,731 It's stupid. It's so stupid. 335 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,232 Hey, hey. 336 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:33,404 Listen, man. You know, it's not a big deal. Well, okay. I'm fine. 337 00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:35,615 It's going to be fine. No, I know, I'm good, I'm good. 338 00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:37,033 It's just... 339 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,161 Look, it's one day. 340 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,954 Yeah. Everything's gonna be all right? 341 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,307 No big deal. You good? Yeah, I'm good. 342 00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:44,332 Okay. 343 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,461 Creed, did you organize the menu book? 344 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,881 I thought that was more on a volunteer basis. 345 00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:57,094 That was mandatory. Oh, lthought that was a volunteer thing. 346 00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:05,478 Hey, your schedule for next week. 347 00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:11,275 Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. Look. About you and Jim. 348 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,069 No. No, that's... You don't have to... 349 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,739 I just feel it's my responsibility as your boss/friend... 350 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,199 No, it's really, it's okay. 351 00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:21,952 I know that Jim had, like, a crush on me when he first started, 352 00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,455 but that was a long time ago, so... 353 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:27,458 It wasn't that long ago. It was on the booze cruise. 354 00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:33,714 Jim had a crush on me on the booze cruise or he told you about it on the booze cruise? 355 00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:38,260 Okay, shut it, Michael. 356 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:41,555 I'm done, that's it. I'm out. 357 00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:47,311 Ready? Yeah. 358 00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:57,446 Michael: People are always coming to me, "Michael, I have a secret. 359 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,490 "You're the only one I trust." 360 00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:01,158 No thanks, 361 00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:05,246 because keeping a secret can only lead to trouble. 362 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:09,500 Like, I was watching cinemax last weekend, this movie. 363 00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:15,423 Portrait of a prostitute, or something. 364 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,509 Secrets of a call... More secrets of a call girl. 365 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:22,012 And the lead character shyla is framed for murder, 366 00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:26,392 goes on the run, and winds up working at a bordello in Malibu. 367 00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:32,231 I don't... I don't wanna live like that. I like it here. 368 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:36,193 I don't wanna be shyla, I like being Michael Scott.