1 00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:08,967 What? Oh, nothing. 2 00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,554 Pam's on vacation 3 00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:15,641 and she gets back tomorrow, so it'll be nice to see her. 4 00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:16,767 It'll be nice. 5 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,895 And she set a date for the wedding with Roy. 6 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:23,524 June. Summer. So, that'll be nice. 7 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,276 And that's that. 8 00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:28,904 (Phone ringing) 9 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:32,032 What? Oh, nothing. 10 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:38,497 Jim's been looking at me, kind of, a lot all week. 11 00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:41,208 I would be creeped out by it, 12 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:44,628 but it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me. 13 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:30,632 Michael: Spamster! 14 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:35,512 Pam, plus spam, plus... 15 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:36,847 Hamster. Right. 16 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,141 Welcome back. How was your vacation? It was great. 17 00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:41,018 Yeah? Did you get lucky? 18 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,144 (Michael exclaiming) 19 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,353 Boink. 20 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,939 Roy and I just got back from the poconos. 21 00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:48,358 I get 10 vacation days a year 22 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:51,862 and I try to hold off taking them for as long as possible. 23 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:55,616 And this year I got to the third week in January. 24 00:01:56,992 --> 00:01:59,786 "I am Pam." Spicoli guy. 25 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,289 Oh, god. 26 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,333 Names, numbers. Okay. 27 00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:07,377 Whoa! God! Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! 28 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,880 Pam: What? Yuck! Wow, what happened in there? 29 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:13,467 I don't know. There is stink in there. My god. 30 00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,510 What is that? 31 00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,846 Oh, I don't know. Is that a bird? 32 00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:20,724 No, I don't think it's a bird. Oh, god. 33 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:24,645 How could that happen? How could... right in the middle of the carpet. 34 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:25,854 What's going on? 35 00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:29,024 Somebody vomited right in the middle of the carpet in my office. 36 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:31,902 Idonttmnkthatsvonflt checkitout 37 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,695 Kevin: Me? Michael: Check it out. 38 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:39,576 Don't be a wuss. Just get... No, I'm not holding your coffee. 39 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,620 Tell me what it is. Oh, that's ridiculous. 40 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:42,996 What is it? 41 00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,290 Michael. What is it? 42 00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:46,750 No, just tell me what it is! 43 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:50,545 Michael, I gotta get out of here. I can't hold my breath that long. 44 00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:51,963 Pam: Open the door up. 45 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,257 It smelled terrible. 46 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,722 Kevin: Oh! Michael: Jeez... 47 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,599 Oh, no... 48 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,770 Icannotbeheve a pipe burst and left that there. 49 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,898 That's no burst pipe. How do you know that? What is it then? 50 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,317 Hey, guys. Somebody making soup? 51 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,990 Here she comes. All clean? Great. 52 00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:24,621 (Coughing) It's still stinky. That is worse. 53 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:28,166 She probably scrubbed it into the fibers of the carpet. 54 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,001 Total permeation. 55 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:32,129 I am a big fear factor fan. 56 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,757 I'm a big fan of anything Joe rogan does, actually. 57 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:38,635 So this is sort of like my audition tape. 58 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:40,804 (Clearing throat) 59 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:47,102 I can't stand it. I can't stay in here another second. 60 00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:53,483 Hey. Welcome back. Thanks! 61 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:57,487 So, how was the resort? Did you ski a lot? A little. 62 00:03:58,655 --> 00:03:59,781 Good. 63 00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:00,907 (Door opening) 64 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,743 What's going on in here? 65 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:07,122 What? I did not do that. 66 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,833 That sounds disgusting. 67 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,669 It wasn't me. 68 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:17,507 It wasn't me. It was not me. 69 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:22,721 Wow. 70 00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:24,681 (Pam laughing) 71 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:29,311 Hey, Jim. 72 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:33,190 I thought that we would be desk buddies while they changed my carpet. 73 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,693 That might be a little difficult with the one computer. 74 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,278 Oh, it's... 75 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:41,239 There's definitely a desk open in the back. Yeah. 76 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:44,493 Which I guess I'll be taking. 77 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,220 No, no, no. Seriously, I don't mind sharing. 78 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:49,122 No, no, no. Seriously, I'll be in the back. 79 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,461 Hey, Kelly. 80 00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:57,714 Are you moving back here? 81 00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:00,675 Just for the day, while Michael's at my desk. 82 00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,427 Because Toby used to sit there, 83 00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:05,472 but then he had to move over there because of an allergy. 84 00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:08,725 Allergy to... the desk? 85 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:10,727 Weird. 86 00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:15,190 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Old bullpen. 87 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,027 The old bullpen. Don't ape me. 88 00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,111 Okay. 89 00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:22,739 This is great. Yeah. 90 00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:25,033 The pressures of my office are insane. 91 00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:28,787 I just... you couldn't understand, but man, you guys have it easy out here. 92 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,206 You know, I used to sit right here? 93 00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:32,791 Yeah. No way. 94 00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:35,085 And who had your office? 95 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,337 Ed truck. 96 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,463 (Exclaiming in disgust) 97 00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:42,551 Ed truck was the manager before me. Horrible. He hated fun. 98 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:46,012 It was like, "oh, ed truck is walking toward us, so stop having fun. 99 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,056 "Start pretending to do work." 100 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,600 What a jerk. He's... 101 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:53,186 You know what? I swore to myself 102 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,438 that if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, 103 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,858 people would laugh when they saw me coming 104 00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:00,694 and would applaud as I walked away. 105 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:04,197 I'm serious. My closet doors will not shut. 106 00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:07,659 I mean, it only takes so long to measure to make sure that clothes will hang up. 107 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:09,911 'Cause aren't all hangers, like, that big? 108 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,706 So I don't understand why the closet engineer didn't think of that. 109 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,332 So now I'm doing this new thing 110 00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:16,418 where I just leave piles of clothes on the floor 111 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,670 and I walk around the piles to get an outfit... 112 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,565 You know who used to sit at that desk? 113 00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:23,758 That guy miles, who quit to form his own company? 114 00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:25,510 Todd packer. No. 115 00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:27,113 Yeah. I thought he was out on the road. 116 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,805 He was, but 117 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:32,726 that desk was empty. He'd come in and sit there sometimes. 118 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:39,024 When I was in training, many years ago, not so long ago, 119 00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:43,278 I worked side-by-side with a fellow named Todd packer. 120 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:46,239 And together we rocked the office. 121 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:47,824 (Hammering loudly) 122 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:53,330 Michael: Packer and I once spent a whole day with our pants off. 123 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,458 And when people noticed, we convinced them that they were crazy. 124 00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:59,544 I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. 125 00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:01,379 Excuse me one second, please? 126 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:04,174 What is it that you need right now that can't wait 127 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,009 until I'm off the phone with a customer? 128 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,887 A customer. Well, sound the alarm. 129 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,264 (Chuckling) Okay. 130 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:14,976 Another time, packer held this guy's head in the toilet for like, a minute. 131 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:18,104 The guy had no sense of humor about it. Probably why he wasn't hired. 132 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,439 (Groaning) 133 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,775 What did you hit me for? Charley horse! 134 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,401 Charley horse! What? 135 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,445 Okay. You shouldn't have hit me, Michael. 136 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:29,699 Once, as a joke, packer banged every chick in the office. 137 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,660 It was hysterical. 138 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:36,790 Beyoncé, pink the color, pink the person, 139 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,876 hot dogs, basically anything that is awesome. 140 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,920 Snow cones... hey, Jim, 141 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:45,632 Michael wanted me to ask you how to raise your desk chair. 142 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:49,511 It's the lever on the side. That's what I told him. Thanks. 143 00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:57,477 Oh, my god, he is so cute. 144 00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:01,022 Would you talk to him for me and see if he likes me? 145 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:05,694 No, I don't think I can... oh, please, Jim. Please, please, Jim. 146 00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:08,822 Please, please, please, he's so cute. I like him so much. 147 00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:12,742 And I would do it, but I'm too shy. Please, Jim. Please, please, please. 148 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,662 Please, Jim. Please, please, please. 149 00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:18,039 (Whispering) Dwight? Michael. 150 00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:21,167 Let's send up accounting. 151 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,046 Old-fashioned raid. Sales on accounting. What? 152 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,632 Yeah, follow my lead. 153 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:31,845 Hey, guys. 154 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,555 Hey, Michael. What's up? 155 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:34,639 Hey, Dwight. 156 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,391 (Screaming wildly) 157 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:39,728 (Laughing) 158 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,859 Michael: Come on, come on, come on, come on! 159 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,155 Michael: Sales rules! Dwight: Yes! 160 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:52,115 Yeah! Yeah! 161 00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,178 Dwight: Should we help them pick up their stuff? 162 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,222 Michael: No, no, no, no. We don't do that. We don't do that. 163 00:08:58,246 --> 00:09:00,915 Okay. Watch out, Pam. You're next. 164 00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,601 You're gonna throw my things on the ground? 165 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,918 Maybe. 166 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,963 Oscar: Whathappened in Michael's office was wrong. 167 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,257 I understand it. It makes sense. 168 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,679 But it was still wrong. 169 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:18,433 Why would somebody ruin a perfectly good carpet? 170 00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:20,894 I don't know. 171 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:26,775 It could be done out of hate. It could be done out of love. 172 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,444 It could be completely neutral. 173 00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,946 Maybe somebody hates the cleaning lady. 174 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:34,866 And, well, she doesn't do a very good job, obviously, 175 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:39,204 because my office still reeks like you would not believe. 176 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,623 I hate her. 177 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:49,339 You know what? I am beginning to think that what happened to my carpet 178 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,801 was an act of terrorism against the office. 179 00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:55,136 The only thing that makes any sense. 180 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,305 Hello, am I the 107th caller? 181 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:03,186 Hello, rock 107, am I the 107th caller? 182 00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:09,192 Hello, rock 107, am I the 107th caller? 183 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:13,196 Stop. I'm totally gonna win us that box set. 184 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,281 Jethro tull... stop it. 185 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,576 Stop it. 186 00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:27,168 I need to make a sales call. 187 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,922 Please? All right. 188 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,101 Am I the 107th caller? 189 00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:46,312 Pam: Back so soon. Roy: We can go back. 190 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,332 Roy: We can go back in, like, a couple of weeks maybe. 191 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:51,025 Yeah, right. Okay, maybe another month, 192 00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:53,319 like, maybe for, like, presidents' day or something? 193 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,443 Yeah, that's right. We could do a three-day weekend. 194 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,324 Iwonder if I could, like, call in sick on the Friday. 195 00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,784 Then I get a four-day weekend. 196 00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,327 (Kelly talking inaudibly) 197 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,680 Kelly: And when I wake up, I feel fine. 198 00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:04,473 But it's so weird to fall asleep. And I just hate it 199 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,458 Kelly: 'Cause I try to go to bed at, like, 9:30. Pam: Are you kidding? 200 00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:08,918 Roy: No. Hi, guys. 201 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,713 We haven't finished getting things in order from your last visit. 202 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:12,881 I'm just walking around. 203 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,299 Were you? Vveh, yeah. 204 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,527 It's just that we're really swamped over here, Michael. 205 00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:18,344 Oh, and I'm not? Why would you say that? 206 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,762 Because I'm having fun? 207 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:22,849 You guys just are working for the weekend, aren't you? 208 00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,309 I am working for the week. 209 00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:28,688 Sales team. Listen to me. This is what we're gonna do. 210 00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:31,900 I'm gonna up the ante a little bit, literally. 211 00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,485 Right here I'm gonna put a crisp $100 bill. 212 00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:37,530 The person with the most sales at the end of the day gets to keep the cash. 213 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,115 Sound good? Yeah! 214 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,409 Seventy, eighty, one, two, three. 215 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:45,788 $83. Still a lot of money and I'm going to... 216 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:51,336 I'm gonna leave it right over here where everybody can see it. 217 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:55,298 I will be taking Jim's clients today 218 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:59,219 because he is not here, and out of sight. Out of the contest. 219 00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:01,471 Let's see who winds up with the cash, shall we? 220 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,056 You're gonna compete against us? 221 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,891 Oh, it is on, Phyllis. It is so on! 222 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,393 It is so on! God, this is gonna be fun. 223 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,731 Michael is gonna wipe the floor with us. 224 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,826 So, you have 40 boxes going out 225 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,371 and I will deliver those personally in a sebring. 226 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:29,332 Very good. Nice doing business with you. Thank you. 227 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,251 Yes! 228 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,253 Oh! Yeah. 229 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,965 Read it and weep. Oh! Oh, look at that! 230 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:40,301 Look at me, Phyllis! Oh, what is that? That's my sale! 231 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,178 (Humming victoriously) 232 00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:50,019 What's that? What are you doing? Nothing. 233 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,105 I think he's dancing. No, just... 234 00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,523 That was definitely not dancing. 235 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,417 You know what, guys? It's none of your concern. 236 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:56,901 It was official business, so just... 237 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,462 Darryl: Paper business. Yeah, paper business. 238 00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,196 Nope. Isflflsdone? 239 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,533 Extreme home makeover puts together a house in an hour. 240 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,536 If you were on that crew, you'd be fired like that. 241 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:09,664 Somebody did something bad to Michael's carpet. 242 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,084 Maybe that's all we need to know. 243 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:22,593 Who do you think did it? Are you kidding? I thought it was you. 244 00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,429 Really? I thought you. 245 00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:34,814 Michael: This was no act of god. A person did this. 246 00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:38,234 A person who works in this office. Maybe all of them. 247 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,195 You know what? 248 00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:45,158 Today is not a good day for a sales contest. 249 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,118 We're not doing this today. 250 00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,996 That doesn't seem fair. You want to talk about fair? 251 00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,582 Does anyone need to smell my old carpet? 252 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:56,085 You explain to me how that was fair and I'll explain to you how this is fair. 253 00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,545 Plus, I just... 254 00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,839 I think that picking today was sort of taking advantage. 255 00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:03,968 But you're the one who picked today. I am a victim of a hate crime. 256 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,346 Stanley knows what I'm talking about. 257 00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,139 That's not what a hate crime is. 258 00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:12,226 Well, I hated it a lot, okay. I... you know what? 259 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:16,564 If the guilty person would just come forward and take their punishment, 260 00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,107 we'd be done. 261 00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:25,114 Very well, then you're all punished. 262 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:28,034 What's our punishment? You're all on a time out. 263 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,661 Just sit there quietly. 264 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,082 (Phone ringing) 265 00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:36,667 Michael: No, no. 266 00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:44,425 What's up? Hey. 267 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,802 Nothing much. 268 00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:49,597 Let me ask you something. It's actually a little awkward. 269 00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:52,850 What do you think of Kelly? What? 270 00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:57,730 I don't know. It depends if you like alflflejunkin_. 271 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,608 She's really cool. 272 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:03,403 Are you interested in her? Yeah, totally. 273 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,363 Really? Did she say something? 274 00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:07,198 She said lots of things. 275 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:10,118 Do you know if she's looking for a long-term thing 276 00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:13,037 or if she'd be cool just hanging out? 277 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:16,582 I have no idea. Can you find out? 278 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,628 Yeah. Sure. 279 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,632 Oh, long-term, definitely. 280 00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:28,386 Fall in love, have babies, spend every second together. 281 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:31,639 But don't tell him that, okay? Just tell him I'm, like, up for anything. 282 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:33,850 I mean, I'm not a slut, but who knows? 283 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,936 Do you remember ed truck? Sure. He hired me. 284 00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:39,564 How's he doing? How would I know? 285 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,691 I thought you might. 286 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,026 My biggest fear is turning into him. 287 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,779 Michael, you should have much bigger fears than that. 288 00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:49,157 I wasn't talking literally, creed. 289 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:53,202 Yeah, being buried alive would be worse. Happy? Why am I talking to you? 290 00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:57,457 Ed? Hi, thanks for meeting me. 291 00:15:57,748 --> 00:16:01,711 It must be kind of neat coming back. Yeah. Shall we go upstairs? 292 00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:05,506 Well, honestly, ed, I really don't want to be up there right now. 293 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,092 So, what's the problem with my pension? 294 00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:11,596 Oh, no, no, no, you're good. It was clerical. You're good. 295 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,849 Well, somebody did something in my office 296 00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:18,019 and I now think that they did it on purpose and it was directed at me. 297 00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,353 Well, what was done? 298 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:22,148 I didn't get a good look at it, 299 00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:25,026 but it smells horrible. 300 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,529 Yeah, somebody once did that in my office. 301 00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:29,989 Really? Yeah. 302 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:32,992 Well, that figures. So, how did you deal 303 00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:34,785 with people not liking you? 304 00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:37,538 You can't expect to be friends with everybody. 305 00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,790 Well, sure I can. No. 306 00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:43,669 They'll always think of you as a boss first. Not necessarily. 307 00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:46,005 You can love a boss like you do a father. 308 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,633 Pninotsure thateverhappens vveh, okay. 309 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,843 Different management styles. 310 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:53,221 Why can't your workers be your workers, 311 00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:56,182 family be your family, your friends be your friends? 312 00:16:56,891 --> 00:17:00,353 Michael: Last week I would have given a kidney to anyone in this office. 313 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:03,856 I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. 314 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,316 But now, no. 315 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:08,819 I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. 316 00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,321 I hope they ask, 317 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,949 so they can hear me say, 318 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:17,078 "no. I only give my organs to my real friends. 319 00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,372 "Go get yourself a monkey kidney." 320 00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:24,335 Hey, Brenda, this is Jim Halpert, from the boat? 321 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,755 And I got your number from the corporate directory, 322 00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:30,883 and well, I was assuming that you probably gave it to them 323 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,719 because you wanted me to ask you out, right? 324 00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:37,056 So, give me a call back. 325 00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,934 You can get my number from said directory. 326 00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:44,897 Or just check your e-mail, 'cause I just sent you one. 327 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:49,569 Yikes. Give me a call back. I hope. 328 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,029 I'll talk to you later. Bye. 329 00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,868 You just asked a girl out on the phone. 330 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,039 (Phone ringing) 331 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:04,667 Yes. 332 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:08,671 Hello, yes, I'm looking for a gay nerd named Michael Scott. 333 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,007 Who is this? How did you get this number? 334 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,301 Your mom, you gay nerd. 335 00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:18,055 Oh, my god. Packer. Packster. Whacky pack, how you doing? 336 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:21,100 Hey, listen, did you get that package I left for you? 337 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:25,688 No. Did anybody see a package here today? 338 00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:28,941 No. How big was it? It was pretty big. 339 00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,318 Really? Yeah! 340 00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:32,153 Did you see a big package? 341 00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:35,489 Where did you leave it? Look in the middle of your office. 342 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:38,951 Really? Guys, did you see a big package in my office? 343 00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,704 You mean, the thing? 344 00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,372 (Packer guffawing) 345 00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,335 Are you kidding me? 346 00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:51,922 Special delivery. That was packer! 347 00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:55,676 You are dead! You are dead, my friend. 348 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,137 That is... oh, god! 349 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,389 Of course it was you. 350 00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:02,725 Sit on the throne, Michael. 351 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,935 Yeah! Yeah! 352 00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:08,105 Oh, my god! Itwas packer! 353 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:11,859 It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don't expect everybody to understand. 354 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:14,570 It was done out of love, just like I thought. 355 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:18,574 It's... god, these people are so... these are good people. 356 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,036 We have fun. We just have fun. 357 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,748 Oh, I'm just so sorry that I threw the thing out. 358 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,086 (Laughing) 359 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:38,969 Female voice: You have seven unheard messages. 360 00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:40,054 (Beeping) 361 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:41,472 Hey, Jim, it's Pam. 362 00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,182 I keep looking up to say something to you 363 00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,601 and then Michael's there and it's horrible. 364 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,145 Anyway, I'm bored. Come back. 365 00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:49,772 Hey, guess what? 366 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,191 I moved my computer so I can't see Michael's head. 367 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:56,362 It's working. I think I can have a career as a very specific type of decorator. 368 00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:59,532 Sudoku. Level, moderate. Time, 18 minutes. 369 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:01,283 Suck on that, Halpert, 370 00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:03,619 I'll transfer you. 371 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,872 Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Hold, please. 372 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,625 Dunder Mifflin, this is... Okay, sorry. 373 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,770 Michael was standing at my desk, and I needed to be busy 374 00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:14,130 or who knows what would have happened. So, thank you. 375 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:17,925 Hey, what's that word we made up for when you have a thing stuck in your shoe? 376 00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:20,469 Anyway, lhave a thing stuck in my shoe. 377 00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:22,888 Hey, lhave a chance to sneak out of here early 378 00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,683 and I'm not messing this up. So, I'll see you tomorrow. 379 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,476 Calling from my cell phone. 380 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,563 I don't know if you guys figured out who did that to Michael's carpet yet, 381 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:34,024 but I have a theory that involves an inter-departmental conspiracy. 382 00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:36,694 Everybody in the office. We need to talk.