1
00:00:03,795 --> 00:00:05,047
There you go.

2
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,346
Nice dress, Ryan.

3
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:14,431
It's not a dress, it's a kurta.

4
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,599
Okay.

5
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:19,394
Tonight, one of our most
ethnic co-workers, Kelly,

6
00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:23,607
has invited us all to a diwali
celebration put on by her community.

7
00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:26,235
What is diwali, you may ask?

8
00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:29,821
Well, to have Kelly explain it,

9
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:35,702
"It's... I have...
It's so super fun and it's gonna be great."

10
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,622
A lot of gods with
unpronounceable names.

11
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:42,668
Twenty minutes later you find out
that it's essentially a hindu Halloween.

12
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,336
You look so handsome.

13
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:45,879
You really do.

14
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:47,923
Pam: I love the material.
I know.

15
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:49,466
How come you didn't get me one?

16
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:26,587
Okay. So, between
Meredith's minivan

17
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:30,215
and if I borrow Bob's Yukon
that should fit about 12 people.

18
00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:33,176
I actually might not go.
I'm feeling kind of tired.

19
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,054
Do you want to make appletinis and
watch sex and the city at my place?

20
00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:38,807
Oh, I don't know.
I haven't decided yet.

21
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,352
I don't get why you won't go.
Did I do something wrong?

22
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,247
I mean, I thought
we were really close friends.

23
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,623
I just feel
kind of tired, you know?

24
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:46,898
Maybe you've got mono.

25
00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:48,275
Maybe.

26
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:51,194
I just... I don't really
have anyone to go with.

27
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:54,197
Well, go with Dwight.
He's single too, right?

28
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,992
Yeah, totally single.
Hundred percent available.

29
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:01,204
Are you guys going to this
Indian thing tonight?

30
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,207
I don't know.
Who's... who's going?

31
00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:08,503
Oh, you mean like,
"is Pam going?"

32
00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:10,297
Don't go.
They eat monkey brains.

33
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,174
Michael: Hey, hey, hey.
Stop that.

34
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:15,844
That is offensive. Indians
do not eat monkey brains.

35
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:19,681
And if they do, sign me up

36
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:23,018
because I am sure that they
are very tasty and nutritional.

37
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:31,109
It's important that this
company celebrates its diversity.

38
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,196
And you know what, Stanley,

39
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,615
come kwanza time,
I have got you covered, baby.

40
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,950
I don't celebrate kwanza.

41
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:41,953
Really? You should. It's fun.

42
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:44,873
I love the people here.

43
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:50,170
And if there was one thing
I don't really care for,

44
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:54,091
is that they can be
terribly, terribly ignorant

45
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,717
about other cultures.

46
00:02:55,967 --> 00:03:00,681
And I don't want them embarrassing
me in front of my girlfriend, Carole.

47
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:05,477
Diwali is a very important
holiday for the hindus.

48
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,604
But frankly,
I'm a little appalled

49
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:11,066
that none of you know very
much about Indian culture.

50
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:15,404
So, without further ado,
Kelly, you are on!

51
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:22,828
Diwali is awesome and there's
food and there's gonna be dancing,

52
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,871
and I got the raddest outfit.

53
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,665
Kelly? It has sparkles...

54
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:32,170
Why don't you tell us a little bit
about the origins of the holiday?

55
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:35,048
Oh, I don't know.
It's really old, I think.

56
00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:37,008
How many gods do you have?

57
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,553
Like hundreds, I think,
maybe more. I don't know.

58
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,680
And that blue, busty gal,
what's her story?

59
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,682
She looks like Pam
from the neck down.

60
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,434
Dwight: Pam wishes.

61
00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:48,603
Kelly, I'll take this one.

62
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:52,357
Diwali is a celebration of the
coronation of the god-king rama

63
00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:56,194
after his epic battle with
ravana, the demon-king of Lanka.

64
00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:57,380
It symbolizes the battle...
All right...

65
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:58,548
Between good and evil...
All right.

66
00:03:58,572 --> 00:03:59,823
This isn't lord of the rings.

67
00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:01,700
Here we are.

68
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:05,287
I'm sorry.

69
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,498
I started biking to work.

70
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,835
Josh does it and he lives
a lot farther away than I do.

71
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:16,673
And also it saves gas money, keeps
me in shape, helps the environment

72
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:21,678
and now I know it makes me
really sweaty for work.

73
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,807
Nice basket.

74
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:27,142
Thank you.

75
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:32,981
Now a lot of people say that
Kelly is one in a million

76
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:36,568
and that's true, but it's also
not true, because frankly,

77
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:40,822
there are literally billions of
people just like Kelly in the world.

78
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,700
Here are some famous Indians.

79
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,664
Subrahmanyan chandrasekhar.

80
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:54,419
He is a nobel prize-winning
physicist. Impressive.

81
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:58,298
Apu from the Simpsons.
Hilarious Indian.

82
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:02,803
M. Night shyamalan, the
village, unbreakable, sixth sense...

83
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,055
"I see dead people." Okay.

84
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,515
Spoiler alert.

85
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,975
He was dead the whole time.
Just stop it.

86
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:13,855
What's... oh, what?
Where did that come from?

87
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:20,821
Karen, my chips got stuck
in the vending machine again.

88
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,281
Ineed your skinny little arms.

89
00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:25,784
Did you shake it?

90
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,370
Yeah, I shook it, I shook it.

91
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:35,919
We have such a
roller-coaster thing, Karen and I.

92
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,964
Excuse me?
Roller-coastery friendship.

93
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:44,761
Hot and cold, on again, off again,
sexual tension-filled type of deal.

94
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,138
It's very Sam and Diane.

95
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,392
Wow. Yeah? From cheers. Yeah.

96
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:54,813
And another thing about the Indian
people, they love sex positions.

97
00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:57,858
I present to you the Kama Sutra.

98
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:01,278
I mean, look at that.
Who has seen that before?

99
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,697
I have,
that's union of the monkey.

100
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:06,116
Oh, that's what they call it.

101
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,839
This is the best meeting
we have ever had.

102
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,035
Michael: Thank you, Kevin.

103
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,996
You know, I find this
incredibly offensive.

104
00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:12,372
Well, I find it beautiful.

105
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:15,876
Well, whatever Kelly wants
to do in her own house is fine,

106
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:17,878
but we shouldn't all
be subjected to it.

107
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,588
Actually, she's right.

108
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:22,632
This is inappropriate.
Why don't I take these?

109
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,110
Michael: No, you're not
going to collect them.

110
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,636
Yeah. No, this is a
delightful, charming culture.

111
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,848
My Indian cultural seminar
was going great until

112
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:34,978
Toby decided he was too immature
to deal with culturally explicit images.

113
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,647
It's just sex, people,
everybody does it.

114
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,693
I'm doing itwith Carole
probably tonight.

115
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,449
All right, I think you guys
should be all set.

116
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,701
Oh, here's the corporate
card fordinner thanks.

117
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:52,871
Now, Karen, let's keep it
to $20 a person this time.

118
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,247
Okay. Got it.

119
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,460
Once a quarter, the sales staff
of this branch has to stay late

120
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:01,755
to do order form
consolidation which,

121
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:06,134
amazingly, is even less
interesting than it sounds.

122
00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,345
You guys ready to party?

123
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:09,930
What's that?

124
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:13,642
I said,
"are you ready to party!"

125
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,861
Isn't this fun?
Not wearing shoes?

126
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,072
I wish some of us
still had our shoes on.

127
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:31,034
Stop it. It's a disease.
I told you.

128
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,830
I thought you said
this was a costume party.

129
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,626
What does that look like to you?

130
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,753
An Indian woman in a sari.

131
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,213
No one's even gonna notice.

132
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,297
Nice outfit.

133
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:48,009
Hey, Kevin. It's a costume.
So you can just cool it, okay?

134
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:49,970
Carole? Carole...

135
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,974
I'll have one of those as well.

136
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,809
Thank you very much. Thank you.

137
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,686
Now these are limes,
lemons, onions...

138
00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,813
I'm a vegetarian.
What can I eat?

139
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,023
It's all vegetarian.

140
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:03,817
I'll just have some bread.

141
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:07,612
You used your hands.

142
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:12,993
Oh, yuck, oh...

143
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,288
What, is it too spicy? No.

144
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,250
These s'mores are disgusting.

145
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,544
They're not s'mores,
they're samosas.

146
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:26,089
Do you think
they have any s'mores?

147
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,967
All they are is chocolate,
Graham cracker and marshmallow.

148
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:31,177
How difficult
would that have been?

149
00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:37,642
So, youte Kelly's sisters, huh?

150
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,566
What? Rupa, neepa, Tiffany,

151
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:46,818
stop acting like such little
losers and just be cool!

152
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:50,905
Come on, Ryan. Come on.
Leave him alone! I hate you guys.

153
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,717
Ryan: They said something
about Zach braff...

154
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,075
Don't even listen to them...

155
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,452
No, you know...

156
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,330
Very official.

157
00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:00,999
I decided to come.

158
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,877
I feel a little underdressed,

159
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,589
but at least I'm not dressed
like a slutty cheerleader, right?

160
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,674
Is that mean?

161
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:26,691
Temp! Temp!

162
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,684
I don't even want
to hear it, okay?

163
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,043
Stop it. Stop it right now.

164
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:46,437
I didn't come to diwali
to get yelled at.

165
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:48,588
Ryan is a temporary worker.
Makes no money.

166
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:52,217
Vali is a whole doctor, so
handsome. Makes good money...

167
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,486
Do you think
I want to date a doctor?

168
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:54,719
And he's a perfect match.

169
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,557
Hey, big tuna, you ready?

170
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:06,272
One, two, three, shot!

171
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,610
Oh, holy mother of god...

172
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,570
Andy: Oh, that burns!

173
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,240
Andy: Golly... that's good...

174
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:40,306
Wow! Thirty years.

175
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:43,476
And you two only met once
before the wedding night?

176
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,395
Yes. Wow.

177
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,981
How long have you been married
to the cheerleader?

178
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:52,986
She's not a cheerleader! She
thought this was a costume party.

179
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,239
No, we're not married

180
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:57,949
yet.

181
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:00,827
She is very fair.

182
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:03,997
She is very fair.
Very fair and very kind.

183
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:08,334
So, tell me, is your marriage
the kind of thing

184
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:11,713
where when you die, she
has to throw herself on a fire?

185
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,007
No, okay.

186
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,760
It's still very cool.
Okay, thanks.

187
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:26,144
One, two, three, shot!

188
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,407
Are you okay?

189
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,242
I'm gonna be.

190
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,875
Hi. I'm just gonna...
Just for a sec. Just a sec.

191
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:53,546
Everyone? I'm sorry. Could I
have your attention, please?

192
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:58,635
Thank you. Hi. Sorry, I just
have an announcement to make.

193
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:06,559
Okay. I have learned a lot
about Indian culture tonight,

194
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:10,730
but I have learned
even more about love.

195
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,650
And I know you're all thinking,

196
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,861
"who is this crazy gringo
and what is he talking about?"

197
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:21,324
Well, I'm not crazy.
Maybe I'm crazy in love.

198
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:27,163
So, without further ado,
Carole...

199
00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:29,666
Carol stills,

200
00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:38,258
I would like you to do me the
honor of making me your husband.

201
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,887
Oh, Michael...

202
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,681
What do you say?

203
00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:48,101
Can we talk about this
in private?

204
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,978
I didn't hear you?

205
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,605
Can we talk about this
in private?

206
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,275
Oh, you gotta be kidding.

207
00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:58,778
Okay.

208
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:08,955
No, I get it. I get it.
You're not ready. We'll wait.

209
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,332
This is our ninth date, Michael.

210
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:12,917
Well, yeah. But I...

211
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:16,004
I feel like I've known you
many lifetimes.

212
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:21,384
Maybe I'm hindu after all.
Okay, I'm not hindu, but...

213
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:25,930
Carole, Carole, I just... I feel
like... I just like you so much.

214
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:30,184
I'd better go. Okay? You
can find a way home, all right?

215
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:31,436
Yes.

216
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:32,770
Okay. Okay.

217
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,608
Okay. Good night.

218
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:39,349
Good night. Hey, you know what?

219
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:41,112
Why don't I come with you?

220
00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:43,948
'Cause I've got this book
called the Kama Sutra...

221
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:46,200
Okay, good night, Michael.
All right.

222
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:48,661
Good night.

223
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:58,338
Well, I was a temp,
but I got promoted.

224
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:01,674
So the compensation
is a lot more competitive.

225
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,551
So you're saving money now...
Yes...

226
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,011
To start a family and home?

227
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,555
Oh, or travel?

228
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,266
And buy an Xbox.

229
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:17,523
Is there anything you wanted
to ask us tonight?

230
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:22,236
Can you believe that my boss
proposed to his girlfriend in public?

231
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,364
That is so Michael. Is it?

232
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,783
He's really outgoing, huh?

233
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,368
Yeah.

234
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:31,245
Hey, would you excuse me
for a second?

235
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,211
It's hot in there.

236
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:40,546
How's the naan?

237
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:41,964
Dry.

238
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,883
You look like
you were having fun.

239
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,177
I am. You should come
dance with us.

240
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:49,097
I have to watch our shoes
so they don't get stolen.

241
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,390
Who were you texting?

242
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:51,474
No one.

243
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:05,071
Andy: I went to
the doctor I went to the mountains

244
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:07,073
I looked to the children...

245
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,325
Andy, no a cappella.

246
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:16,916
Andy: I looked to the
children I drank from the fountain

247
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:21,254
There's more than one answer
to these questions

248
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,464
pointing me in a crooked line...

249
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:24,882
Wait.

250
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:28,594
The less I seek my source

251
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:29,720
oh, come on, guys, please.

252
00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:33,015
The closer! Am to fine

253
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,726
the closer! Am to fine

254
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:37,186
that's not good.

255
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,939
Tuna! Are you kidding me?

256
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:46,821
Oh, my god.

257
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:51,951
Wow. That's so spicy. Here.

258
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:53,035
Yeah.

259
00:15:58,458 --> 00:15:59,917
You're waiting for a call?

260
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:07,800
Wow.

261
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:15,558
Pam, when Carole said,
"no," tonight,

262
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:19,812
I think I finally realized
how you must be feeling.

263
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:23,149
We're both the victims
of broken engagements.

264
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:27,028
Well, you were
never really engaged.

265
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:31,532
I was in that
marriage arena, though.

266
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,827
Yeah. Yeah.

267
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:38,456
Oh, well.

268
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:43,628
I kind of thought something
would happen tonight, too.

269
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,466
So alike.

270
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:51,969
So alike.

271
00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:05,024
What are you doing?

272
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,984
What are you doing?

273
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,319
I'm rejecting your kiss.

274
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,112
I... what? I didn't...

275
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:28,214
Can I have a ride home?

276
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:31,551
If you sit in the back.

277
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:34,845
Night, guys.

278
00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:45,481
Hey, can I have a ride, man?
I have my bike.

279
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:48,693
No way, dude.
I am not driving home.

280
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:54,782
I brought an inflatable bed
for just such occasions.

281
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,868
You're welcome to share it,
though. It's a roomy twin.

282
00:17:58,703 --> 00:17:59,787
I'm good.

283
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,856
Hey, dummy, get in the car.

284
00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:29,400
I'm a drunk driver.

285
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:30,735
Yes, you are.

286
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:33,321
Here, let me take that thing.

287
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,281
Just get in the car. Okay.

288
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,617
You can really hold
your liquor, though, really.

289
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,368
Yeah. You can't.

290
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,745
Okay.

291
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:44,081
And I am just going to lie down
in the back, if that's all right?

292
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,166
Sure.

293
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:49,587
Here's your bag.
Just don't puke on anything.

294
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:57,386
You okay? So good.

295
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,554
Good.

296
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,728
These are not my shoes.

297
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:17,531
This is just like that show
taxicab confessions...

298
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,700
If you say one more word,
I'm stopping the car.

299
00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:20,785
Sorry.

300
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:26,207
This is going out to
Indians everywhere.

301
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:30,711
It's a tribute to one of the
greats, Mr. Adam sand/er.

302
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:38,135
Diwali is a festival of lights

303
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,221
let me tell you something

304
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:45,935
tonight has been one crazy night

305
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:50,064
so put on your saris

306
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:53,734
it's time to celebrate diwali

307
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:56,529
everybody looks so jolly

308
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:59,740
but it's not Christmas,
it's diwali

309
00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:02,326
the goddess of destruction, Kali

310
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:05,371
stopped by to celebrate diwali

311
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:09,166
don't invite any zombies

312
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:12,420
to a celebration of diwali

313
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:15,423
along came Polly

314
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:18,634
to have some fun at diwali

315
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,929
if you're Indian
and you love to party

316
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:25,725
have a happy, happy, happy

317
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:29,061
happy diwali!

318
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:31,355
Happy diwali!