1 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,881 Okay, where does it hurt? 2 00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:08,008 Just... all over. 3 00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:11,470 I don't want to do anything. I'm dying. 4 00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:12,614 No, that's not how it works. 5 00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,848 You have to point to a specific part of the body. 6 00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,059 Right there. 7 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:18,894 Dwight: Abdomen. 8 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,021 Menses. Maybe. 9 00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,291 "The uterus contracts after your egg passes through it." 10 00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:24,816 Not it, I don't have eggs. 11 00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,527 So when did this start? 12 00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,445 About 10 minutes ago. I don't... 13 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,364 When I came in with the paperwork? 14 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:31,865 About 40 times a year, 15 00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:34,368 Michael gets really sick but has no symptoms. 16 00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:37,204 Dwight is always gravely concerned. 17 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:41,166 Dwight: Is it possible you ate food that contained animal waste? 18 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:42,960 It's possible. 19 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,253 Pam: Michael? 20 00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:46,129 David Wallace is on line one. 21 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,301 All right, everybody out. Out, out, out. 22 00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:52,719 Okay. 23 00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:55,389 To what do I owe this great honor, David Wallace? 24 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:58,058 Da vid: Michael, I am calling to see... and gromit. 25 00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:03,021 Jan? Is jan there? 26 00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:06,525 Jan is out of town right now. Oh. You sigh like jan. 27 00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:12,072 I broke jan's heart, David. And I feel awful. Itwas... 28 00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:16,868 It was never my intention to ruin a life. But you know what? 29 00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:19,871 Sometimes... Michael? 30 00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:22,583 You just gots to get your freak on. Michael? 31 00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,334 Yeah? Michael? 32 00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:27,504 I am calling to see if you would come down 33 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:31,174 and interview for a job we have opening up in corporate. 34 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,677 Really? A week from today. 35 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,012 Bring your first quarter stats 36 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:38,140 and your recommendation for who'd take over the Scranton branch. 37 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,433 Wow. 38 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,894 I wish I had prepared something to say. 39 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:47,357 That's not necessary. May god guide you in your quest. 40 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:50,235 Yes. 41 00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:26,355 Okay. Everybody have their towels and swimsuits? 42 00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:30,317 We've got an hour and a half. I suggest that you all go potty now, 43 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,487 and then we will be congregating on the party bus. 44 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,447 Oh, I'm excited. Today is beach day. 45 00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,824 Michael is taking the whole office to the beach. 46 00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,952 So I'm wearing my bathing suit underneath my shirt. 47 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:43,497 Oh, yeah. I packed it in my purse. 48 00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:46,750 Oscar, you brought your speedo, I assume? 49 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,210 I don't wear a speedo, Michael. 50 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:51,004 Well, you can't swim in leather pants. 51 00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,800 I'm just yanking your chain. 52 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,385 Not literally. 53 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,970 Anybody need sun block? I've got spf 30. 54 00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:02,766 Oh. You know what? You're not going. 55 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,686 It's beach day. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. 56 00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:07,145 Toby, we... 57 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,314 Somebody has to stay here. 58 00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:14,111 I want today to be a beautiful memory that the staff and I share 59 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,572 after I have passed on to New York. 60 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:22,661 And if Toby's a part of it, then it'll suck. 61 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:26,415 Hey. You want my sunscreen? 62 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,166 Oh, great. 63 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:31,336 I forgot mine and I'm wearing a two-piece. 64 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,547 Thanks, Toby. 65 00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:40,262 Hey, Pam. I have a very importantjob for you today. 66 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,198 I thought we were just having fun at the beach. 67 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:46,184 We are. We are. But I would like you to take notes. 68 00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:49,020 And I want you to find out about people's character. 69 00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:52,065 You know, not their hotness, per se, 70 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:55,360 but their humor and their charisma, 71 00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:59,990 and the indefinable quality that makes you all glad to follow me. 72 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:03,201 What happens to a company if somebody takes a boss away? 73 00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:06,455 I will answer your question with a question. 74 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:11,668 It's like what happens to a chicken when you take its head away. 75 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,670 It dies. 76 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:17,132 Unless you find a new head. 77 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:23,805 I need to see which one of these people have the skills to be a chicken head. 78 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,100 You want me to write down people's indefinable quahfies? 79 00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:30,228 I want you to write down everything that people are doing all day 80 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:33,857 and then type it up in a way that is helpful. All right? 81 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,693 I have the most boring job in the office. 82 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:40,781 So why wouldn't I have the most boring job on beach day? 83 00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,659 This way to the party bus. 84 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,871 I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. 85 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,457 That's all I've ever wanted. 86 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:53,168 And the night got deathly quiet 87 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:56,505 and his face lost all expression 88 00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:59,716 said, "if you're gonna play the game, boy 89 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,928 "you gotta learn to play it right 90 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:06,556 all: "You got to know when to hold 'em 91 00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:09,476 "know when to fold 'em" 92 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,560 yeah. 93 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:14,731 "Know when to walk away know when to run 94 00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:18,485 "you never count your money 95 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:21,863 "when you're sitting at the table 96 00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:26,409 "there'll be time enough for counting 97 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,871 "when the dealing's done" 98 00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:33,667 everybody, may I have your attention, please? 99 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:38,672 Today, we are not just spending a day at the beach. 100 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,674 Oh, sweet mother of god. 101 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,985 If you don't like it, Stanley, you can go to the back of the bus. 102 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:47,430 Excuse me? Or the front of the bus or drive the bus. 103 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,683 Just_ 104 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:54,563 We are all participating in mandatory fun activities. 105 00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,148 Funtivities. 106 00:05:57,232 --> 00:06:00,360 And there is a special secret prize for the winner. 107 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:01,611 Yes! Funtivities! 108 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,214 I knew it wasn'tjust a trip to the beach. 109 00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:06,700 Okay, you know what? Your enthusiasm's turning people off. 110 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:09,202 I hope there will be management parables. Well... 111 00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:13,415 Hey, Pam. Did you get that down? Like what? 112 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,334 Like everything I said and everything they did, and just... 113 00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:18,813 I don't know exactly... don't... Write it down before you forget it. 114 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:22,340 That's... you've just been drawing pictures. 115 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,553 I can't stay mad at you. 116 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,722 Michael: Here we are, ladies and gentlemen. 117 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:32,559 Everybody ready? Last one down is a rotten egg. 118 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,853 Watch out for snakes. 119 00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,523 Everybody, put on sunscreen. 120 00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:42,527 All right. Find a cozy spot. Everybody, settle in. 121 00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:51,536 Okay, everybody up. Circle around. 122 00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,331 Let us play some games. 123 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:59,628 We are situated on the northeast corner of scenic lake Scranton, 124 00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:03,924 america's eighth-largest indigenous body of water. 125 00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:09,888 It is here that a group ofamericans will undergo the ultimate challenge. 126 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:14,643 One day, fourteen strangers who work together, 127 00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:16,978 but only one survivor. What? 128 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:21,691 Just words. Inspiring words. Not a contender. 129 00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:25,403 For the competitions, you will be divided into four tribes. 130 00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,197 Each tribe will have a leader 131 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,867 that I will pick randomly off the top of my head without thinking. 132 00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:33,912 Jim, Dwight, Andy, and Stanley. 133 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:35,664 Choose your tribes. Yes! 134 00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,707 Except for Pam, not Pam. 135 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,627 Jim Halpert. Karen. 136 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:45,256 Michael: Pros: Smart, cool, good-looking. 137 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,842 Remind you of anybody you know? 138 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,763 Cons: Not a hard worker. 139 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:54,057 I can spend all day on a project, 140 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,977 and he will finish the same project in half an hour. 141 00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,603 So that should tell you something. 142 00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,313 I choose Michael! 143 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,899 I'm not playing. 144 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,776 Okay. Temp. 145 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:08,154 Dwight is an obvious candidate for my job. 146 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:12,575 He has the best sales record in the office. He loves the work. 147 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,246 He is, however, an idiot. 148 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,456 We are going to choose team names. Dwight. 149 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:21,751 We will be called Gryffindor. Really? Not Slytherin? 150 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,104 Slytherin are the bad guys, Jim. 151 00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:26,506 I know. Okay, we will be Voldemort. 152 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,010 He who must not be named? I wouldn't do that. 153 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,512 Voldemort. Voldemort. Okay, seriously... 154 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:35,035 All: Voldemort. Voldemort. You really shouldn't be saying... 155 00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,392 Voldemort. Voldemort. Idiots. Idiots. 156 00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:39,894 Okay, okay. Stanley, your team name? 157 00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:41,730 I don't care what you call my team. 158 00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:44,107 Then I will name your team the red team. 159 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,859 No, the blue team. 160 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:50,780 I am also considering Stanley because of all the good 161 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:54,075 that black people have done for america. 162 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,661 We will be team usa. 163 00:08:56,745 --> 00:09:00,081 Very good. Pam, please, take a note that Andy is patriotic. 164 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:05,211 Andy Bernard. Pros: He's classy, he gets me. 165 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:08,840 He went to Cornell. I trust him. 166 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:12,677 Cons: I don't really trust him. 167 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:17,182 It is time for the great spoon and egg race. This one is with a little twist. 168 00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:20,935 There's already a twist, you're carrying an egg on a spoon. 169 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:23,563 The person carrying the egg will be blindfolded. 170 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,023 Please, put on your blindfolds. 171 00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:28,026 That person carrying the egg will go down, circle a torch, 172 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:30,945 come back, deposit their egg in the pail. 173 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:36,201 First team back is the winner. All right, ready, set, go! 174 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,661 Come on, Phyllis, you can do it. 175 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,705 Thank you so much. 176 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:43,291 Phyllis is out. Yes! Follow my voice. Follow my voice. 177 00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:46,544 Yeah, keep it moving, keep it moving right this way. 178 00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:48,564 Looking good. Kelly: I don't want to hit the big rock. 179 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,631 Don't worry, you're not... 180 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:52,276 I know I'm near the big rock, I just know it. Nowhere near the big rock. 181 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,402 Andy, I don't wanna get hurt by the big rock. 182 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,095 What are you doing? No! 183 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,765 See, now we're disqualified. 184 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:03,561 I am okay if I lose every single contest today. 185 00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:05,063 Honestly. 186 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:09,442 Because I see these contests 187 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:13,488 as an opportunity for me to demonstrate what a good sport I am. 188 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:14,823 Mallard. 189 00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:18,427 Stop, stop, stop. There's a hole. Dwight: Move it! 190 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,512 Just step over the hole. Dwight: Move your ass! 191 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,539 Come on, lazy-bones! Move it! Come on! Yup. 192 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,874 Pefiectjustmadeit okay, turn left. Come on! 193 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,376 Come on! Andale, andale! Arriba! 194 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,729 You have to stop this right now or I'm not gonna do this anymore. 195 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,231 What are you saying? You have to stop yelling at me 196 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,398 or I'm not gonna do the egg race. 197 00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:32,525 Okay, I apologize for yelling at you. 198 00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:33,609 That's what being a good captain is about. 199 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,693 I'm trying to bring team spirit! 200 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:35,986 It's about listening to your team. 201 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,679 Whoa, stop. Another hole. Take a big step. 202 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,198 Dwight: I am not hysterical. I am explaining... 203 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:40,265 Yes! 204 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:42,642 Oh, my god. You ass. 205 00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,397 There's nothing better than a beautiful day at the beach, 206 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:52,485 filled with sun, surf and diligent note-taking. 207 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,029 Michael: Pam, you're missing things! 208 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:11,796 Let's go! Let's go! Come on! Mush! Mush! 209 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,965 Come on, you bastard! What the... 210 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:16,718 Damn it, temp! 211 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,055 Greatjob, everyone, that was fantastic. 212 00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:27,645 Okay, Pam, I have another little project for you. 213 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:30,249 Does it have to do with these shopping bags filled with hot dogs? 214 00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:31,274 Smart as a whip! Yes. 215 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:34,652 These are pre-cooked, so it's not absolutely necessary, 216 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:37,447 but I would appreciate it if you could heat up 800 hot dogs 217 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:41,242 for a little contest I'm going to be having. I would greatly appreciate it. 218 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:44,162 When's the contest? Like, 10 minutes? 219 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:46,789 How am I supposed to get... Thanks a bunch. 220 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:53,838 A good manager has got to be hungry. Hungry for success. 221 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,215 Okay, who's hungry? 222 00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,759 No, no, no, do not touch the food. Please, not yet. 223 00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:00,887 That is our next event. A hot dog-eating contest. 224 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,222 Stanley: Oh, god. 225 00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:03,532 For those of you who are curious, 226 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:07,977 the world record is 54 and one half hot dogs. 227 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,230 Wow. And you know what? 228 00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,440 I personally have cooked up enough 229 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,668 so that each and every one of you could break that record. 230 00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:17,362 So shoot for the stars, okay? All right! 231 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:21,574 The team that eats the most hot dogs in 10 minutes will be declared the winner! 232 00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,618 On your Mark, get set... 233 00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:27,538 Can I have a Turkey burger? No. I have the only one. I claimed it. 234 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,374 Ready? Oscar: Turkey is a healthy meat. 235 00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:30,768 Ryan: Yeah, it's very good for you. 236 00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,919 I don't eat meat, Michael. I'm not gonna eat this. 237 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,355 Jim: It has I-tryptophan. Guys, guys. 238 00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:35,689 Comeonm Kevin: What's I-tryptophan? 239 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,131 Please! Let's just... 240 00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:41,344 Okay, it's very important that you all try to eat as many hot dogs as you can. 241 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:45,181 On your Mark, get set, eat! 242 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:49,852 Is there any mustard? No mustard! No mustard! Just eat it! 243 00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:54,315 Eat it, Phyllis. Dip it in the water so it'll slide down your gullet more easily. 244 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,110 Come on, the winner gets a big, big prize. What is it? 245 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,946 I can't say. You can't say? Or you can't pronounce it? 246 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:03,908 The winner gets regional manager salary for a year and a sebring 247 00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:06,178 and the feeling that they're making a difference in the world. 248 00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:07,471 Can we just take those first two things? 249 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:10,748 The winner of today gets my job. 250 00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:15,712 Okay? I'm interviewing for a job at corporate. 251 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,506 And they're only interviewing a handful of people, 252 00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:22,468 and I'm the most qualified, and I'll probably get it, all right? 253 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,305 You're leaving? I didn't wanna tell anybody. 254 00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:28,308 I didn't wanna cast a pal! Over our fun beach day. 255 00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:29,952 But you know what? I don't know who to recommend, 256 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,270 because, frankly, nobody's stepping up. 257 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,272 I am so hungry. 258 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:35,982 Do you expect me to believe 259 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:39,360 that you're truly making your recommendations on this basis? 260 00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:41,029 Word. 261 00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:45,033 Here we go. Let's see it. 262 00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:48,661 I would rather work for an upturned broom with a bucket for a head 263 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:53,541 than work for somebody else in this office besides myself. Game on. 264 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:57,879 Ryan: Come on. Come on. Four seconds. Three, two, one... 265 00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,964 Stop your eating! 266 00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:03,259 And the winner is Andy Bernard... Kelly: Team usa! 267 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,011 With 14 hot dogs! 268 00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:06,679 One came up. 269 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,681 Thirteen hot dogs, everybody. 270 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,183 Damn it! 271 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,435 Nobody told me we were gonna have hot dogs. 272 00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:19,025 Sabotage. 273 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:22,612 What? What are you saying? Did you say sandwich? 274 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:28,076 No. I was saying that before. Not now. Now I am saying sabotage. 275 00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:32,163 The ancient Dutch art of screwing up your own team. 276 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:37,335 I knew you were saying sabotage. I was giving you an example of it. 277 00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:42,340 I will misunderstand everything that Andy says until he goes insane. 278 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,635 If Michael organizes some kind of group hug, 279 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:46,969 stand next to me. 280 00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:50,515 It's very simple. There are only three rules. 281 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:55,728 You must not touch the ground. You must not step outside of the ring. 282 00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:59,190 And you must always wear the safety mittens. 283 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,109 We don't have any safety mittens. 284 00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:04,112 Probably left them in the trunk of my car. It's all right. Here we go. 285 00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:05,571 Get him, big boy! 286 00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:08,574 And go! 287 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:11,869 Karen: Come on, Jim! Come on! What are you doing? 288 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:13,704 Karen: Come on! Stop. 289 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,583 Michael: Nice, Stanley! 290 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:19,502 Stanley: Sorry about that. 291 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,421 It's all about taking points away from Dwight. 292 00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,714 Yeah. No. Good. Okay. 293 00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,591 Oh, my god. 294 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:29,595 I have never seen that look in a man's eyes, ever. 295 00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:34,559 I thought that I might die. On beach day. 296 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:41,274 Comeonlcomeon! Comeon! 297 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,335 Oscar: If either of these guys are put in charge of the office, 298 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:44,569 I will transfer to Albany. 299 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:45,820 Gil can come if he wants. 300 00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:48,865 I'm kind of looking for a way out of that relationship, anyway. 301 00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:54,495 I think I might try girls for a while. Angela thinks I can cross over. We'll see. 302 00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:57,832 One, two, three! 303 00:15:57,915 --> 00:15:59,750 Yeah! Yeah! 304 00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,169 Michael: Excellent! 305 00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,504 Gryffindor! Creed: Gryffindor! 306 00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:04,630 Kelly: Come on! 307 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,591 I didn't win. 308 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,969 But the only reason I didn't win is because I recently learned 309 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:12,305 that it's better to work things out with words. 310 00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,307 That's not why you lost. 311 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,559 Yeah, it is. I totally could have kicked your butt. 312 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,061 Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, right. 313 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:22,857 Yeah, right! Come on, come on! God! 314 00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:26,986 How do you like that? 315 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:46,088 Help. Help! Angela! Angela, hey. 316 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,424 Oh, thank god. Go tell somebody. 317 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:51,844 What, Andy? Andy, what should I tell them? 318 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,430 Go tell them I'm floating away, obviously. 319 00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,849 I don't understand what you want from me. 320 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,392 Angela, it's pretty simple. 321 00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:01,938 Look at what I'm doing and go tell somebody it! 322 00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:03,564 Sorry! 323 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:06,692 Bye, Andy! 324 00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:07,985 Angela! 325 00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:10,821 I knew that finding a successor would be difficult. 326 00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:13,741 I did not know that it would be impossible. 327 00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:17,495 Thus far the candidates have been wildly disappointing. 328 00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:21,374 Jim is not taking it seriously. Stanley is having a stroke. 329 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:24,293 And Andy, where is he? Where the hell is Andy? 330 00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:28,130 Where is he, Pam? Do you know? 331 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,093 Who's ahead in points? I think they're even. 332 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:35,346 At various times you gave Jim 10 points, 333 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:38,683 Dwight a gold star, and Stanley a thumbs-up. 334 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,744 And I don't really know how to compare those units. 335 00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:43,688 We”, check to see if there is a conversion chart in that notebook. 336 00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:46,524 I really doubt it, Michael. Please, just check. 337 00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:49,569 Great. Yeah, I'll see you next week. 338 00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:52,989 Thank you. And here is Karen filippelli. Bye. 339 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,618 Hello? Yeah, hi, David. 340 00:17:57,952 --> 00:18:01,581 Yes, I would like to be considered for the corporate position in well. 341 00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,374 "In well"? As well. 342 00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:05,835 How would that work, in well? 343 00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:07,712 I just want to know. Yes. 344 00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:09,255 Wait a minute. 345 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:12,174 That would be fine. Ifthisjob is in a well, I don't want it. 346 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:13,509 I don't. 347 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:17,513 What does a great manager need most of all? 348 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,766 Courage. How so? 349 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:24,312 I mean, sure thing. That sounds smart. 350 00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:27,356 I can't do this anymore. I'm going to sit in the bus. 351 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,942 Your loss, Stanley. 352 00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:33,195 Meanwhile, the rest of us will have a super-fun time 353 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:36,824 defeating our fear and creating a lasting memory 354 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:41,329 walking through fire! 355 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:49,670 Who among you has the guts to replace me? 356 00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:52,715 Let him walk across these coals. 357 00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,846 Are you gonna try it? 358 00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:02,391 I'm not gonna walk in the fire after your disgusting feet have gone through. 359 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,810 Angela, it is a million degrees. 360 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:08,230 I'm gonna do it. 361 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:11,233 And I fully expect to burn my feet and go to the hospital. 362 00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:15,613 That's the right spirit when doing a coal walk, right? 363 00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,908 No, no. Not you, Pam. You have to keep score. 364 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,534 I'd like to try it. Pointless. 365 00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:22,179 But I'm not kidding, I really wanna do it. 366 00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:24,413 Okay? This is about guts. 367 00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:28,000 It takes guts to be a regional manager. 368 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:29,377 Jim, you're up. 369 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,630 Nope. Why not? Come on. 370 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:35,716 Oh, 'cause I don't want my feet to get burned. 371 00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:40,888 You do not have what it takes to be a regional manager. 372 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,223 That's harsh. 373 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:47,019 Who's next? Andy, where is Andy? Andy is never here today. 374 00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:52,441 Hello? Who's there? 375 00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:56,237 My name is Andrew Bernard, I was with a group called dunder Mifflin. 376 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:00,908 Hello? 377 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,536 Why don't you go, Michael? 378 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:07,790 Because I already did. Remember? I burned my foot 379 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:09,834 on the George foreman grill. 380 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:12,420 That is not the same at all. 381 00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:15,190 If you're gonna ask other people to do it, you should do it yourself. 382 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,383 All right, okay. All right. Fine. 383 00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:21,512 Okay. 384 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:25,683 Okay. 385 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:40,322 The mind has to wrap around the foot. 386 00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,216 Okay. 387 00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,349 You want us to count to three? 388 00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:08,934 Yes, count to three, please. 389 00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:11,604 Three, two, one! All: Three, two, one! 390 00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:12,813 Count the other way. Go. 391 00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:14,231 No, no. Count one, two, three. 392 00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:16,025 Okay, okay. Not three, two, one. 393 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,986 One, two, three. All: One, two, three. 394 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:20,696 Ryan: Go! Do it! Dwight: Go, Michael. 395 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,115 Wait. Am I going on "go" or am I going on "three"? 396 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:25,343 Kelly: On "three". Dwight: On the "go" that's after "three". 397 00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:26,368 Okay. 398 00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:30,206 All: One, two, three, go! Kelly: One, two, three, go! 399 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:41,759 No! It's okay. I will do this, Michael. 400 00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:44,845 Don't, Dwight... I will walk and stand on these coals 401 00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:49,141 until you award me the position of regional manager! 402 00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:53,062 Wow. Yes. 403 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,416 Kevin: Dwight. Kelly: Dwight. Dwight. 404 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,959 Kevin: Keep moving if you're gonna walk there. 405 00:21:57,983 --> 00:21:59,109 Ryan: Keep moving! 406 00:21:59,193 --> 00:22:01,070 Angela: Keep coming. Give me the job! 407 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,696 That's enough! Give me the job! 408 00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:04,782 I'm not going to give it to you! 409 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,909 Don't kneel on the coals! 410 00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:08,202 Oh, my god! 411 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:10,037 Pam: Michael, do something! 412 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:12,206 God, that stinks! 413 00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:14,208 Kelly: Dwight, stop it! 414 00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:16,418 Being a boss is also about image. 415 00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:22,007 I've never looked like that. That was gross. 416 00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:27,847 I just... I don't see the connection between a fire walk and management. 417 00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:30,057 Worst $75 I ever spent. 418 00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:34,436 You know what? It! Had to pick my replacement based on today, 419 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,189 itwould be Mr. Outside hire. 420 00:22:37,273 --> 00:22:39,066 Or Mrs. Outside hire. 421 00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:41,777 Yeah. True. 422 00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:43,696 Look, I don't... 423 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:48,284 I don't wanna leave this branch that I love to an outside hire. 424 00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:53,831 Therefore, we're going to have a 100-point, winner-take-all, 425 00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:57,293 sudden death, tribal council round 426 00:22:57,376 --> 00:23:00,254 to test the aspect of my job 427 00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:05,259 that I think is the most important, something I call the Bob hope factor. 428 00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:06,969 Kelly: Who's Bob hope? 429 00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:10,014 God. He's... he's a comedian. 430 00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:12,892 Oh, like Amanda bynes. Who's Amanda bynes? 431 00:23:12,975 --> 00:23:16,437 She's from what a girl wants. Oh, I love that movie. 432 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:17,980 Yes. Kelly is right. 433 00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:23,193 The person to replace me has to have a great sense of humor. 434 00:23:23,277 --> 00:23:25,446 And they have to possess 435 00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:28,741 the leadership qualities of a bynes or a hope. 436 00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:38,542 So, without further ado, Jim and Dwight. 437 00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:42,671 Show us what you've got. 438 00:23:43,797 --> 00:23:48,677 Hey. I know what you're looking for, but I gotta be honest, 439 00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:52,306 I really don't think I should be considered as your replacement. 440 00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:54,350 You are being too modest. 441 00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:57,603 Michael, on Thursday, I'm gonna drive down and interview with David 442 00:23:57,686 --> 00:23:59,313 for the open position in New York. 443 00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:04,902 Okay, that is not funny. 444 00:24:05,903 --> 00:24:10,199 I am deducting 60 points from Voldemort 445 00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:12,034 for false pretenses. 446 00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:14,703 Okay, Dwight, your turn. Wow us. 447 00:24:16,205 --> 00:24:17,498 The aristocrats. 448 00:24:17,581 --> 00:24:22,002 A man and his wife and children go into the offices of a talent agency. 449 00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:31,387 And the talent agent says, "describe your act." 450 00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:36,225 And the man says something really, really raunchy. 451 00:24:36,850 --> 00:24:40,771 And the talent representative says, "what do you call yourselves?" 452 00:24:40,854 --> 00:24:43,315 And the man says, "the aristocrats." 453 00:24:53,617 --> 00:24:55,869 Dwight: I mean, truly repulsive acts. 454 00:24:55,953 --> 00:24:58,372 That is a very, very funny story. 455 00:24:58,664 --> 00:25:01,250 Hey. I wanna say something. 456 00:25:01,959 --> 00:25:06,046 I've been trying to be more honest lately, and I just need to say a few things. 457 00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:08,966 I did the coal walk. Just... I did it. 458 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:14,221 Michael, you couldn't even do that. Maybe I should be your boss. 459 00:25:15,723 --> 00:25:18,142 Wow, I feel really good right now. 460 00:25:19,643 --> 00:25:22,146 Why didn't any of you come to my art show? 461 00:25:23,147 --> 00:25:25,858 I invited all of you. That really sucked. 462 00:25:27,317 --> 00:25:31,071 It's like sometimes some of you act like I don't even exist. 463 00:25:34,992 --> 00:25:37,244 Jim, I called off my wedding because of you. 464 00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:39,580 And now. We're not even friends. 465 00:25:40,914 --> 00:25:44,668 And things are just, like, weird between us, and that sucks. 466 00:25:45,002 --> 00:25:46,503 And I miss you. 467 00:25:47,337 --> 00:25:50,215 You were my best friend before you went to stamford. 468 00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:52,760 And I really miss you. 469 00:25:53,969 --> 00:25:55,209 I shouldn't have been with Roy. 470 00:25:56,722 --> 00:25:59,808 And there were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding. 471 00:26:00,350 --> 00:26:02,631 But the truth is, I didn't care about any of those reasons 472 00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:03,687 until I met you. 473 00:26:04,021 --> 00:26:07,107 And now you're with someone else. And that's fine. 474 00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:10,277 It's... whatever. That's not what I'm... 475 00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:12,863 I'm not... Okay, my feet really hurt. 476 00:26:12,946 --> 00:26:15,783 The thing that I'm just trying to say to you, Jim, 477 00:26:16,116 --> 00:26:17,951 and to everyone else in the circle, I guess, 478 00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,080 is that I miss having fun with you. 479 00:26:22,998 --> 00:26:25,584 Just you, not everyone in the circle. 480 00:26:28,462 --> 00:26:32,174 Okay, I am gonna go walk in the water now. 481 00:26:33,634 --> 00:26:36,220 Yeah. It's a good day. 482 00:26:39,056 --> 00:26:41,767 Pam! That was amazing! 483 00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:45,813 But I am still looking for someone with a sales background. 484 00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:52,319 All: Flintstones. Meet the flintstones 485 00:26:52,402 --> 00:26:55,656 they're a modern stone age family 486 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,992 from the town of bedrock 487 00:26:59,076 --> 00:27:01,787 they're a page right out of history 488 00:27:02,996 --> 00:27:06,250 let's ride with the family down the street 489 00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:09,503 through the courtesy of Fred's two feet 490 00:27:09,670 --> 00:27:12,214 when you're with the flintstones 491 00:27:12,297 --> 00:27:14,675 you'll have a yabba dabba doo time 492 00:27:14,758 --> 00:27:16,343 a dabba doo time 493 00:27:16,552 --> 00:27:18,887 you'll have a gay, old time! 494 00:27:18,971 --> 00:27:21,807 Wilma! 495 00:27:22,224 --> 00:27:23,267 Nice.