1 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:06,840 Coafl 2 00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:10,427 Michael just rented the devil wears Prada. 3 00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:13,555 He has his Netflix sent here to the office, 4 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:16,934 and he watches them in pieces when things are slow. 5 00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:18,685 Michael: Steak! 6 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,689 Where's my steak? 7 00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:24,358 Pam: He's a big Meryl Streep fan, 8 00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:27,819 so I shouldn't be surprised that he's identified with her character. 9 00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,446 Get me Armani. 10 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:30,531 A suit? 11 00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,032 On the phone. 12 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:33,218 Like the main company number? 13 00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:35,345 'Cause I'm gonna have to call information. Where's Armani? 14 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:39,331 He's on the phone. Too slow. You're not going to Paris. 15 00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:40,916 I'm so much better than you. 16 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:57,057 I owe you an apology. 17 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,308 You finished the movie. 18 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,852 Yeah. It was awesome. Big surprise ending. 19 00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:01,937 Won't ruin it for you. 20 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,855 No. Go ahead. 21 00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:06,650 Meryl Streep is the bad guy. Never see it coming. 22 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:11,697 Anyway, if I was mean in any way to you, I am sorry. 23 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:15,075 I just want what's best for you, minooshka. 24 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,121 (Whispering) Minooshka. 25 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:24,084 Mo cuishle. He's watching million dollar baby. 26 00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:29,590 He's gonna try to kill me. 27 00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:05,208 So this one goes with my eyes, and this one goes with your eyes. 28 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,228 People have said I have very pretty eyes. 29 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:08,462 (Chuckling) You do. 30 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:11,632 I haven't heard the same about you. So let's just go with mine. 31 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:14,259 Well, they both go with the carpet that I've ordered, 32 00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:17,387 and if we go with the brown leather on the sofas then they go with that, too. 33 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,056 We already have a sofa so why are... 34 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,682 A futon's not a sofa. 35 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,726 It folds up. You've only seen it flat. 36 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:23,953 I know what a futon is, Michael. 37 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,521 I... okay. How much is this gonna cost? 38 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:27,981 It costs what it costs. 39 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:29,566 No. That doesn't even mean anything. 40 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,461 We have gone through this, okay. We have gone through this. 41 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:36,406 Yes. Money has been a little bit tight lately, but at the end of my life, 42 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:41,453 when I'm sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? 43 00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:46,375 No. I'm going to be thinking about how many friends I have, 44 00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:50,587 and my children and my comedy albums. 45 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:54,424 I mean, I have a yacht, so I obviously did pretty well money-wise. 46 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:58,720 It's just, you know, you say it's gonna cost what it... 47 00:02:58,804 --> 00:02:59,805 (Ringing) 48 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,890 Yeah? Pam: Michael, it's Ryan for you. 49 00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:04,726 Conniving little runt. Put him through. 50 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:07,437 Put him through. Yes? Ryan, my man. 51 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,290 I sent you an e-mail about the new powerpoint. 52 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,833 Yes. And thank you for sending that to me. 53 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,652 I had it install the updated powerpoint on your computer 54 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,362 so you can use it for the presentation. 55 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,197 I really want people there using powerpoint. 56 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,533 Okay. Yeah. No, I don't know. 57 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,576 I don't know. I think those it guys messed up. 58 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,012 Hold on. I'll get them on the phone. 59 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,746 Wait. No. Here it is. Here it is. Found it. 60 00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:26,540 Sure. I can hold. 61 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:27,666 (Phone ringing) 62 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:30,377 Dunder Mifflin. Dwight schrute. 63 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,795 Please hold. 64 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,852 Schrute farms, guten tag. How can I help you? 65 00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:51,898 Yes, we have availability on those nights. How many in your party? 66 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:57,404 Oh, no. I'm sorry. No king beds. No queen either. 67 00:03:57,487 --> 00:04:01,658 Well, we make our own mattresses that don't conform to the traditional sizes. 68 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,660 Closest would be twin. 69 00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:07,706 Thank you so much for calling. Call back again. Auf wiedersehen. 70 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:11,668 Hey, Dwight. 71 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,253 None of your business, Jim. 72 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,397 You running a bed and breakfast? 73 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,714 It is not a b&b. 74 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:18,800 Agrotourism is a lot more than a bed and breakfast. 75 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:24,014 It consists of tourists coming to a farm, showing them around, 76 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:27,184 giving them a bed, giving them breakfast. 77 00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:31,278 Does the department of health know about this? 78 00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:32,898 I am not telling you anything. 79 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:34,381 (Phone ringing) Permits are pending. 80 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:36,627 Dwight schrute, dunder Mifflin. 81 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:37,712 Pam: Hello. I'm looking for a room. 82 00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:40,697 Okay. This is a misuse of company phones. 83 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,200 It says here you cater to the elderly. 84 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,284 Where did you read that? 85 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:45,994 Trip advisor. 86 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:51,416 Trip advisor is the lifeblood of the agrotourism industry. 87 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,503 A couple of bad reviews there, you may as well close up shop. 88 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,588 That's what took down the stalk inn, 89 00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,965 one of the cutest little asparagus farms you'll ever see. 90 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,053 How many in your party? 91 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,137 Two. 92 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:07,307 We offer tours of the fields and of the barn. 93 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:11,812 Perhaps you'd be interested in mose's table-making demonstration? 94 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:14,314 So, I forgot to tell you that I need the car tonight. 95 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:17,859 Oh, actually I need the car. 96 00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:19,611 Why? For improv? 97 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,490 Why don't you just pretend that you have a car? 98 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:28,578 Good practice in case you ever do a scene where you need to pretend you have a car. 99 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:32,457 Used to have two cars, traded them in. Now we're down to one. 100 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:37,838 Good economic sense, although the new car's a Porsche, for her. 101 00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:40,590 One cardigan. 102 00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:44,052 One sleeping cardigan. 103 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,222 One sleep apnea mask. 104 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,477 What about my cherub figurine? 105 00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:53,728 You took that with you. 106 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,314 No. I left it on my night... 107 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,400 Your night table, by the lamp. 108 00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,360 You are incorrect. 109 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:04,114 I was recently scrubbing my room of memories, and I didn't see it there. 110 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,283 Fine. 111 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,618 Dwight: My girlfriend and I broke up recently, 112 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,413 and I must say I am relieved. 113 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,915 It gives me a chance to sow my wild oats. 114 00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,292 In the schrute family, 115 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:18,962 we have a tradition where when the male has sex with another woman, 116 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:23,717 he is rewarded with a bag of wild oats left on his doorstep by his parents. 117 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:27,137 You can use those oats to make oatmeal, bread, whatever you want. 118 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,139 I don't care. They're your oats. 119 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:34,394 The bar uses an applause meter. That's why it is so important 120 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:39,566 that you all come and applaud only for my band, scrantonicity ll. 121 00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:43,528 Not scrantonicity, which I am no longer a part of. 122 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:46,197 Michael, can I count on you? 123 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,908 You cannot. I have a thing tonight. 124 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:49,284 Kevin: Damn it. 125 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:52,203 Michael. 126 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,205 What? That reminds me. 127 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,249 If the invitation still stands, 128 00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:59,127 Pam and I would love to have dinner tonight. 129 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,922 Oh, no. I have a thing tonight. 130 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:04,716 Michael: That stinks. Darn it. 131 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:05,967 Shoot 132 00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:08,011 how about this weekend? No.Cant 133 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:12,515 we only had tonight free, and we really wanted to spend it with you. 134 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,810 Damn it to hell. Okay, all right. 135 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,771 Jim: What do you got going on tonight? 136 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,815 You wouldn't understand. It's a secret. 137 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,610 I wouldn't understand or it's a secret? 138 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:26,571 You wouldn't understand, Jim. It's a secret. 139 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:37,308 Michael: I'm sorry, Mr. O'brien. I didn't mean to interrupt your dinner. 140 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,084 I just have a very exciting offer. 141 00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:43,254 My records indicate that you have expressed interest in losing some weight. 142 00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:44,422 Well, what if I told you 143 00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:47,842 that I have a pill that will make you 50 pounds lighter in five minutes? 144 00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:49,219 How would that sound? 145 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,470 Amazing, right? 146 00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:53,473 Well, it won't be that fast, but it will... 147 00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,267 It will be that easy. 148 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,690 Jim: I can't believe this place is real. 149 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:04,502 I mean, I've heard about his beet farm for years, but I never thought... 150 00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:05,735 The beets motel. 151 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,737 The beets motel? 152 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,447 That is... wow. 153 00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:10,907 Thank you. 154 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,993 Jim: The borscht hotel. 155 00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:15,912 The embassy beets. Radish inn. 156 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:16,997 How are you doing this? 157 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,540 Pam: I don't know. 158 00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:28,800 Oh, my gosh. 159 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:40,770 I just love sales. I love it to death. It's as simple as that. 160 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:45,984 And I don't get to do enough of it as a manager, so I took this second job 161 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,445 kind of as a hobby. 162 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:52,157 Some people have golf or relaxing... 163 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,159 What's going on here? 164 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:58,163 Hey. I just got off the phone, and I was gonna make another call. 165 00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:01,750 We're a legit operation with a license from the city. I can show you. 166 00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,835 We pay minimum wage against commission. 167 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:09,132 Nope. They're with me, so... this is Nick figaro, manager to the stars. 168 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,945 Dwight: We have three rooms, each with a different theme. 169 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:14,429 What are the themes? 170 00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:18,141 America, irrigation and nighttime. 171 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,225 Irrigation. 172 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:20,351 Nice. 173 00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,645 I'll put you down for irrigation. 174 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,899 Now then, do you have any special needs or dietary restrictions? 175 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:28,818 Yes. We will be requiring a bedtime story. 176 00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,947 Not even Harry Potter? No, Jim, come on. 177 00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:36,242 But you promised... Dwight: Mose, bags, now. 178 00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:43,208 Here we are. Irrigation room. 179 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:47,587 A very special room. So I'll come get you before the table-making demonstration. 180 00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:51,633 And as of this morning, we are completely wireless here at schrute farms, 181 00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:54,010 but as soon as I find out where mose hid all the wires, 182 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,887 we'll get that power back on. 183 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,347 All righty. 184 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:06,648 Everybody in the conference room in five minutes. 185 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:11,111 These meetings are useless. 186 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,905 I just want to remind you to stick to the script. 187 00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,949 It's been proven to work, so... 188 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,492 (Reading) 189 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:21,955 Got it? 190 00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,581 Very inspirational. 191 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:24,666 (People chuckling) 192 00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:30,130 We're offering a $50 bonus tonight to the guy with the most sales, okay? 193 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,381 Or a woman. 194 00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:33,133 Or a trained seal. 195 00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:37,137 You can make jokes when you've made a sale there, rookie. Okay? 196 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,437 I'd say one in six. 197 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:47,689 What? 198 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:51,401 I thought you asked me what our chances were of being murdered here tonight. 199 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:56,114 Jim: You know, I just realized this is Pam's and my first night away together. 200 00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:59,367 I used to play it over in my head, 201 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:02,036 and it was just a little bit different. 202 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:08,501 Maybe a nice hotel or a romantic dinner, wine, 203 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:11,296 but wine that wasn't made out of beets. 204 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,673 Didn't think Dwight would be involved at all. 205 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:17,719 And I always imagine less manure. 206 00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:21,055 I mean some manure, just less. 207 00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:22,348 This is beet food. 208 00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:26,186 Mose, what are you doing? No, mose. Put the manure down. 209 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:29,022 Put it down! Do not throw it! Do not... 210 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:31,149 Yes, is Mr. Hudson there? 211 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:32,233 Man: Yeah. Who is this? 212 00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:35,236 Well, I'm just calling because you responded positively to... 213 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,571 Michael? 214 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,115 Stanley? 215 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,035 Why are you calling me here at home? 216 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,805 (In Mexican accent) Senor, are you happy with your long-distance service? 217 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:48,166 Michael, I know that's you. Why are you calling me here at home? 218 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,418 (In croaky voice) Have you... 219 00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,420 Have you considered satellite television? 220 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,672 Michael, I know that's you. I know your voice. 221 00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:55,757 All right. 222 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,967 Why are you calling me here at home? 223 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,071 Stanley on speakerphone: When I'm at home, at night, in my own house, 224 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:04,557 in my sweats drinking some red wine, watching my mystery stories, 225 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:06,851 the last thing in the whole godforsaken world 226 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,687 I want to hear is the voice of Michael Scott. 227 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,457 Well, your son sounds like he's really motivated. 228 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:14,317 I think it's crazy that the coach won't play him, frankly. 229 00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:16,736 My office. 230 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,238 You bet. 231 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:21,616 Just dial the number on the sheet and stick to the script. 232 00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,868 Say those words exactly, got it? 233 00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:26,138 I don't know why we have to keep having this conversation. 234 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:30,124 Look, I know sales, and I had that sale. I just needed a few more minutes to... 235 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,377 A few more minutes is a waste of our time. 236 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,271 It's not a waste of time. This is a trading game. 237 00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,797 No. Look. You give a quick pitch, 238 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,299 you make the sale, you move on. That's how vikram does it. 239 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:40,176 Vikram doesn't have my people skills. 240 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,762 Good for vikram, because he outsells you every night. 241 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:47,600 No. Well, I hope this conversation has helped. 242 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:53,898 "And Harry saw the white hand raise its wand 243 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:56,526 "and felt voldermort's surge of vicious anger. 244 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,696 "Saw the frail old man on the floor writhe in agony. 245 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:03,283 "'Harry.' it was over as quickly as it had come. 246 00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,118 "Harry stood shaking in the darkness, 247 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:08,288 "clutching the gate into the garden, his heart racing." 248 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,625 What you got tonight? 249 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:16,337 It looks like mixed masala, eggplant and rice. 250 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,089 Oh, that looks good. 251 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,967 And what about you? Peanut butter flavor again? 252 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:25,680 I am going with the vanilla crisp this evening. 253 00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:26,764 Enjoy. 254 00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:28,266 Thank you. 255 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:32,854 I was a surgeon back home. 256 00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:34,230 Really? Yeah. 257 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,457 Wonder what I would have been back home. 258 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:36,941 Well, this is your home. 259 00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:41,487 I know, but it's so competitive here. 260 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:44,032 What's $1 worth in your land? 261 00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:47,785 Medical school must have cost like 40 bucks or a donkey or something. 262 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,620 Uh, no. 263 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,292 I would have been chief of surgery. 264 00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:58,921 Or a cowboy. 265 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:03,092 (Banging) 266 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:05,863 Jim: Wait, you're going out there? 267 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,930 Pam: Yeah. Coward. 268 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,936 (Banging continues) 269 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:28,117 Oh, my god. What century is this? 270 00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:32,248 You know what, here's the thing about die hard 4. 271 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:38,002 Die hard 1, the original, John mcclane is just this normal guy, you know? 272 00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:40,171 He's just a normal New York City cop 273 00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:44,634 who gets his feet cut, and he gets beat up, but he's an everyday guy. 274 00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:50,139 In die hard 4, he is jumping a motorcycle into a helicopter in the air. 275 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,391 Yeah. 276 00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:52,725 You know? He's invincible. 277 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:56,020 It just sort of lost what die hard was. It's not Terminator. 278 00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:58,481 Dude, you should review movies. 279 00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,108 Oh, my god. Yes. 280 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,360 I'm telling you. Yeah. You should. 281 00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:03,986 I actually wrote a movie. Really? 282 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,321 Well, I'm writing one, yeah. 283 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,823 Lisa: What's it about? 284 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,408 Sort of a spy thriller. 285 00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,451 Hey, what's so captivating? 286 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,163 I love captivating things, 287 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:18,042 and this must really be captivating because it's keeping you off the phones. 288 00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:21,671 I mean, time is your money. That's how I know how captivating it is 289 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,257 because of how much time you've spent talking. 290 00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:28,636 (Moaning) 291 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:31,639 Pam: Yourturn. 292 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,434 (Moaning continues) 293 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,825 Dwight: Come in. Did you have another nightmare? 294 00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,414 Hey, Dwight. 295 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,625 Oh, Jim. 296 00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:02,753 I thought you were mose. 297 00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:04,964 Does mose have nightmares? 298 00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,592 Oh, yes. Ever since the storm. 299 00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:15,141 Is everything satisfactory with your stay? 300 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,185 Yeah. Yeah. 301 00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:19,061 Great. 302 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:24,358 Just thought I heard crying or moaning or something in here. 303 00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:29,071 Oh, well, I'll look into that in the morning. 304 00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:35,369 Thank you for bringing that to the attention of the staff. 305 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,498 Good night, Dwight. 306 00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:51,219 (Dwight moaning) 307 00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:58,351 Hey, so we're all gonna go out for a beer. You want to come? 308 00:16:58,434 --> 00:16:59,661 We'd love for you to come, Michael. 309 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:02,104 Thanks, no. I have to work in the morning, so... 310 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,397 All right. Next time, dude. 311 00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:05,107 Okay. See you guys. 312 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,028 Hey, how you doing? 313 00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,572 You drive. I had too much wine. 314 00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:12,782 Okay. 315 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,493 How was yoga? 316 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,537 I didn't go. Why? 317 00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:19,539 Why not? I just didn't. 318 00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:20,623 Okay. 319 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,208 How was improv? 320 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,128 Good night, vikram. Good night. 321 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,272 Hey, congrats on the bonus. 322 00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,297 Thank you, Michael. 323 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:29,733 I'm gonna nab it one of these nights. 324 00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:33,427 Well, if you concentrate and make your calls faster, yeah. 325 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,932 Good night. Good night. 326 00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:47,108 Michael. Mmm. 327 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,861 Morning. Hi. 328 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,163 Hey, Dwight. How are you? 329 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,373 Dwight: Pam. 330 00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:05,835 You okay? 331 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:10,131 I am better than you have ever been or ever will be. 332 00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:17,513 Hey, guys. What's happening? How's my favorite branch doing? 333 00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,517 Okay, Michael, why don't you start us off? 334 00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,646 That wasn't much of an introduction. 335 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,191 Ladies and gentlemen, your boss, Michael Scott. 336 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,569 Oh, still lame. Okay. 337 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:33,946 All right. 338 00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:39,160 Thank you, Ryan, for that wonderful introduction. 339 00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:44,749 Okay, today we're going to be talking 340 00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:49,587 about powerpoint. 341 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,634 Powerpoint. Powerpoint. Powerpoint. 342 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:59,221 Yes, I forgot about Ryan's presentation, and yes, itwould have been nice 343 00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:02,475 to do well with the first presentation that he had given me. 344 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,644 But you know what else would have been nice? 345 00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:06,937 Winning the lottery. 346 00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:11,400 And the best way to start is to hit "start," 347 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:15,696 and up comes the tool bar, that's what she said. 348 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:20,701 What we have to do here is go to "run," 349 00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:26,999 and then you look up to "powerpoint." 350 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,669 And we are in. 351 00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:33,381 We are going to register. You hit "register." 352 00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,008 Updates are ready. I should update. 353 00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,256 "Estimated time 12 minutes." 354 00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,598 So this should take about five or 10 minutes. 355 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,802 Ryan: Is this the first time you've opened powerpoint? 356 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,788 You didn't prepare a presentation at all, did you? 357 00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:51,399 No. I had a really rough night, and my boss can back me up on that. 358 00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:52,692 I'm your boss. 359 00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:54,360 My other boss, Mr. Figaro. 360 00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,195 You have another job? 361 00:19:56,278 --> 00:20:00,908 What I do between 5:30 pm. And 1:00 am. Is nobody's business but mine 362 00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:02,993 and my other business'. 363 00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:05,121 Are you a cocktail waitress? 364 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,415 You cannot have a second job 365 00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:09,583 if it affects your work here. It won't. 366 00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:10,710 It did already. 367 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,837 Okay, honestly, 368 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:16,340 it is unlikely that I was gonna figure this out anyway. 369 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:17,800 (Kelly laughing) 370 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:19,593 Kelly: You're so funny. 371 00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:20,678 Ryan: Why is Darryl here? 372 00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:21,822 Michael: He works in the warehouse. 373 00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:22,847 I invited him. 374 00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:26,267 It's not a party. Darryl, back downstairs. This isn't information you need. 375 00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:29,812 This information here, yeah, you're right, I don't need this. 376 00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:31,939 Okay. 377 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,693 Hey, come on. 378 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,112 See you later tonight. 379 00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:39,238 I got plans later. 380 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:40,948 Okay. Bye, honey. 381 00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,224 How long until you actually get this presentation ready? 382 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,928 Vvhydontyoudo the presentation? Honestly... 383 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,561 Because I don't want... I mean, you know how to do it. 384 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,254 What I really want, honestly, Michael, is for you to know it 385 00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:57,149 so that you can communicate it to the people here, 386 00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:58,591 to your clients, to whomever. 387 00:20:58,674 --> 00:20:59,717 Okay. 388 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,093 What? 389 00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:02,553 It's whoever, not whomever. 390 00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:03,888 No, it's whomever. 391 00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:05,556 No. Whomever is never actually right. 392 00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:06,724 Well, sometimes it's right. 393 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:10,060 Michael is right. It's a made-up word used to trick students. 394 00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:13,939 No. Actually whomever is the formal version of the word. 395 00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:17,276 Obviously it's a real word, but I don't know when to use it correctly. 396 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,361 Not a native speaker. I know what's right, 397 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:20,738 but I'm not gonna say 398 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,741 because you're all jerks who didn't come see my band last night. 399 00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:24,885 Do you really know which one is correct? 400 00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:25,910 I don't know. 401 00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:29,413 It's whom when it's the object of a sentence and who when it's the subject. 402 00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:31,540 That sounds right. Well, it sounds right, but is it? 403 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,542 How did Ryan use it? Asanomed? As an object. 404 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,169 Ryan used me as an object. 405 00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:36,420 Is he right about that? 406 00:21:36,504 --> 00:21:37,647 Pam: How did he use it again? 407 00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:42,259 It was Ryan wanted Michael, the subject, to explain the computer system, the object... 408 00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:44,470 Thank you. To whomever, meaning us, 409 00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:47,723 the indirect object, which is the correct usage of the word. 410 00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:51,977 No one asked you anything, ever. So whomever's name is Toby, 411 00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:54,396 why don't you take alefieropenerand stick it in your skull? 412 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,399 Hey, this doesn't matter, and I don't even care. 413 00:21:57,483 --> 00:22:00,319 Michael, you quit the otherjob or you're fired here. 414 00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:06,992 I've never done this before. 415 00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:10,538 I have never quit anything in my life. 416 00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:15,292 So you are filming history. 417 00:22:15,376 --> 00:22:19,046 Nick, I had a dream last night that I had two full-time jobs. 418 00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:22,800 One here at the lipaphadrazone diet pill company. 419 00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:24,802 Lipophedrine. And in the other, 420 00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:28,848 I was a regional manager of a small paper supply company called dunder Mifflin. 421 00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:29,932 Never heard of it. 422 00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:31,058 In this dream, 423 00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:37,273 I did both of these jobs beautifully and I loved it and everybody loved me. 424 00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:40,651 The truth is, I can't do this. 425 00:22:40,734 --> 00:22:42,361 Are you quitting? 426 00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:44,947 I am. 427 00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:48,742 Come back anytime. Don't forget to disinfect your headset. 428 00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:52,872 I was never in this for the money. 429 00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:58,961 But it turns out that the money was an absolute necessity for me. 430 00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:03,841 I tried to live the dream, I tried to have a job, a girlfriend, 431 00:23:04,925 --> 00:23:07,469 another job, and I failed. 432 00:23:09,179 --> 00:23:14,351 But the good thing about the American dream is that you can just go to sleep 433 00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:18,564 and try it all again the next night. 434 00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:30,951 What's up? 435 00:23:31,035 --> 00:23:32,119 Me. All night. 436 00:23:32,202 --> 00:23:34,663 Dreaming about Angela's smoking hot body. 437 00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:35,831 You're being gross. 438 00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:37,875 Not from a male perspective. 439 00:23:37,958 --> 00:23:41,253 You need to set me up with her. I know she told you that she's looking, 440 00:23:41,337 --> 00:23:43,756 and she's totally not responding to my moves. 441 00:23:43,839 --> 00:23:44,840 What moves? 442 00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:47,968 I have moonwalked past accounting like 10 times. 443 00:23:48,052 --> 00:23:49,362 I can't believe that's not working. 444 00:23:49,386 --> 00:23:50,387 Yeah. 445 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,892 I don't know if I really see you two together. 446 00:23:54,975 --> 00:23:59,688 Really? Well, maybe you should look in the smart part of your brain. 447 00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:00,940 She's very religious. 448 00:24:01,023 --> 00:24:05,694 Okay, well, I come from a line of wasps so long it leads back to Moses. 449 00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:09,949 Okay, well, she takes her convictions pretty seriously. She can be kind of severe. 450 00:24:10,032 --> 00:24:11,951 Yeah, and I punched a hole in a wall. 451 00:24:12,034 --> 00:24:13,994 Thatsnght youtfld. Yeah. 452 00:24:14,078 --> 00:24:17,957 Now that I think about it, Angela and Andy might actually make a good couple. 453 00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:21,377 But I couldn't do that to Dwight. 454 00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:23,128 Or Angela. 455 00:24:24,171 --> 00:24:25,506 Or Andy. 456 00:24:29,343 --> 00:24:32,680 Hey, Kevin, you're a gambler, right? 457 00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:38,435 A rounder? You play the ponies, small horses? 458 00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:40,896 I do gamble, Michael. 459 00:24:41,021 --> 00:24:44,441 Yeah. I was thinking about doing some gambling myself. 460 00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:46,193 You know, just a little bit of money. 461 00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:49,780 Maybe doubling it, then doubling it several more times. 462 00:24:49,863 --> 00:24:52,408 I don't know, kind of just for fun. 463 00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:57,371 I was thinking, do you have any tips or ideas about sure things? 464 00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:01,291 Like a boxer 465 00:25:01,375 --> 00:25:05,671 who is gonna throw the big fight? 466 00:25:05,796 --> 00:25:09,508 You know, like he's tied into some crooked dealings 467 00:25:09,591 --> 00:25:13,595 and maybe his kid is sick or something? Like, who do I call about that? 468 00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:16,181 (Whispering) The mob. 469 00:25:17,975 --> 00:25:19,852 (Whispering) Do you know anybody in the mob? 470 00:25:22,688 --> 00:25:23,814 Okay. 471 00:25:26,900 --> 00:25:28,110 Oscar, 472 00:25:29,028 --> 00:25:32,364 (whispering) I'm gonna need to take another advance on my salary. 473 00:25:32,781 --> 00:25:34,408 What do you mean you have plans tonight? 474 00:25:34,491 --> 00:25:37,453 I have my daughter tonight. We're renting Charlotte's web. 475 00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:39,038 Well, you have to make a choice. 476 00:25:39,121 --> 00:25:40,581 It's either your daughter or me. 477 00:25:40,664 --> 00:25:42,207 My daughter. 478 00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:43,792 Okay. 479 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,587 That's how it is. 480 00:25:48,464 --> 00:25:49,465 Oops! 481 00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:55,220 That was cold. 482 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,687 He's always been terrible with money. 483 00:26:03,771 --> 00:26:06,565 I bet it's jan spending him straight to the poorhouse. 484 00:26:06,648 --> 00:26:08,817 Yeah. Women be shopping. 485 00:26:08,901 --> 00:26:11,070 I can't believe he has a second job. 486 00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:12,547 He's not even good at his first one. 487 00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:13,781 Michael: Hey, guys. 488 00:26:13,864 --> 00:26:14,865 Shh. 489 00:26:17,534 --> 00:26:19,620 What you talking about? 490 00:26:20,329 --> 00:26:24,374 Okay. I know what's going on. You're talking about Jim and Pam, 491 00:26:24,458 --> 00:26:25,626 if they're having sex, 492 00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:27,270 what it looks like, and I think... Michael. 493 00:26:27,294 --> 00:26:28,796 Hey, hey, hey. 494 00:26:29,963 --> 00:26:33,092 Michael, are you having money problems? 495 00:26:33,175 --> 00:26:35,594 Monkey problems? No, I'm not having monkey problems. 496 00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:37,262 Why would I have monkey problems? 497 00:26:37,346 --> 00:26:38,546 I know you heard me correctly. 498 00:26:38,597 --> 00:26:40,099 Oh, I hate monkeys. 499 00:26:40,182 --> 00:26:43,018 What's going on? Why do you have a second job? 500 00:26:43,102 --> 00:26:44,895 I don't have a second job. 501 00:26:44,978 --> 00:26:49,274 Maybe I am having an affair with Suzanne somers. 502 00:26:49,358 --> 00:26:50,609 Doesn't jan have money? 503 00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:52,295 I don't talk to my girlfriend about money. 504 00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:53,987 It is rude and unsexual. 505 00:26:54,071 --> 00:26:55,114 True. 506 00:26:55,197 --> 00:26:57,491 It's best to hide our money problems from women. 507 00:26:57,574 --> 00:27:01,954 I totally agree with you, but I don't have money problems. 508 00:27:02,037 --> 00:27:04,623 All right, you know what? Watch this. 509 00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:10,546 If I had money problems, would I do this? 510 00:27:19,012 --> 00:27:20,013 Well... 511 00:27:20,097 --> 00:27:21,157 Stanley: You just put it back in your pocket. 512 00:27:21,181 --> 00:27:22,266 Oscar: Yeah. 513 00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:25,477 Yeah, but I destroyed it. It's not even useable anymore. 514 00:27:29,356 --> 00:27:31,775 Hey, let's call this what it is. 515 00:27:34,111 --> 00:27:37,573 It's like she only wants to hook up when Ryan comes around. 516 00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:39,300 It's gotten to the point where I get excited 517 00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:42,578 every time I see that little dude walk through the door. 518 00:27:43,203 --> 00:27:46,290 Well, I just need to know where this is going. 519 00:27:46,373 --> 00:27:48,959 Hey, I like you. 520 00:27:50,294 --> 00:27:51,295 All right? 521 00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:53,380 What's not to like? 522 00:27:55,507 --> 00:27:58,594 But you need to access your UN-crazy side. 523 00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:01,722 Otherwise maybe this thing has run its course. 524 00:28:03,724 --> 00:28:06,226 Don't you dare walk away from me, Darryl philbin. 525 00:28:06,310 --> 00:28:07,412 You are the most selfish person 526 00:28:07,436 --> 00:28:08,812 I have ever met in my entire... 527 00:28:08,896 --> 00:28:11,190 Slow down. Think it over. 528 00:28:13,066 --> 00:28:17,279 Darryl philbin is the most complicated man that I've ever met. 529 00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:20,365 I mean, who says exactly what they're thinking? 530 00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:23,827 What kind of game is that? 531 00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:30,292 Hey, cuz. Heard you're having money problems. 532 00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:31,501 No, you didn't. 533 00:28:31,585 --> 00:28:32,961 Listen, I got the answer. 534 00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:36,340 You declare bankruptcy, all your problems go away. 535 00:28:36,423 --> 00:28:38,175 Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. 536 00:28:38,258 --> 00:28:39,885 When creed Bratton gets in trouble, 537 00:28:39,968 --> 00:28:44,014 he transfers his debt to William Charles Schneider. 538 00:28:44,223 --> 00:28:47,935 How would that help, creed? In monopoly, you go bankrupt, you lose. 539 00:28:48,018 --> 00:28:51,605 You don't go by monopoly, man. That game is nuts. 540 00:28:51,688 --> 00:28:54,858 Nobodyjust picks up get out of jail free cards. 541 00:28:54,942 --> 00:28:56,860 Those things cost thousands. 542 00:28:57,694 --> 00:28:59,238 That is a good point. 543 00:28:59,321 --> 00:29:02,199 Bankruptcy, Michael, is nature's do-over. 544 00:29:02,282 --> 00:29:04,701 It's a fresh start. It's a clean slate. 545 00:29:04,785 --> 00:29:06,620 Like the witness protection program. 546 00:29:06,703 --> 00:29:08,497 Exactly. Not at all. 547 00:29:09,539 --> 00:29:12,501 I've always wanted to be in the witness protection program. 548 00:29:12,584 --> 00:29:15,379 Fresh start. No debts, no baggage. 549 00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:19,800 I've already got my name picked out, lord Rupert Everton. 550 00:29:19,883 --> 00:29:24,596 I'm a shipping merchant who raises fancy dogs. 551 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,265 That's the life. 552 00:29:30,310 --> 00:29:31,979 (Michael clears throat) 553 00:29:32,062 --> 00:29:37,276 I declare bankruptcy! 554 00:29:44,783 --> 00:29:46,201 (Knocking) 555 00:29:47,327 --> 00:29:49,496 Hey. I just wanted you to know 556 00:29:49,579 --> 00:29:53,041 that you can't just say the word bankruptcy and expect anything to happen. 557 00:29:53,125 --> 00:29:55,043 I didn't say it. I declared it. 558 00:29:55,127 --> 00:29:57,587 Still. That's not anything. 559 00:29:59,006 --> 00:30:00,757 This is a lot of credit card debt. 560 00:30:00,841 --> 00:30:02,426 Yeah. Tell me about it. 561 00:30:02,509 --> 00:30:07,639 You know, jan has my credit cards, and she's using them as if I'm made of money. 562 00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:10,309 She thinks I'm a human atm machine. 563 00:30:10,934 --> 00:30:12,894 Okay, $125 at Amazon. 564 00:30:13,979 --> 00:30:16,982 Oh, best of the muppet show on DVD. Classic. 565 00:30:18,025 --> 00:30:20,861 $1,200. What's a core blaster extreme? 566 00:30:21,028 --> 00:30:24,948 That is by far the best way to strengthen your core. 567 00:30:25,032 --> 00:30:30,203 This machine, you sit on a stabilizer ball, you put your feet into the power stirrups, 568 00:30:30,287 --> 00:30:32,748 you reach up and you grab onto the super rod, 569 00:30:32,831 --> 00:30:38,337 and you twist and you twist and you twist. It strengthens your entire core, 570 00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:43,258 your back core, your arm core, your... 571 00:30:43,342 --> 00:30:47,679 The marine corps actually uses it. I think that's how they got corps. 572 00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:55,729 And y: I left a little present for Angela. 573 00:30:55,812 --> 00:30:57,939 I think she's going to like it 574 00:30:58,023 --> 00:31:01,276 'cause I found it outside Vance refrigeration all alone, 575 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:05,447 and I told her in the note that the cat came to find her, 576 00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:08,241 that they were destined to be together. 577 00:31:11,661 --> 00:31:13,038 I got game. 578 00:31:18,668 --> 00:31:22,422 Okay, the green bar is what you spend every month on stuff you need, 579 00:31:22,506 --> 00:31:24,383 like a car and a house. 580 00:31:24,466 --> 00:31:27,511 That's so cool how you have my name at the top. 581 00:31:29,179 --> 00:31:33,141 The red bar is what you spend on non-essentials, 582 00:31:33,225 --> 00:31:35,018 like magazines, entertainment. Right. 583 00:31:35,102 --> 00:31:36,520 Things like that. 584 00:31:36,645 --> 00:31:43,276 This scary black bar is what you spend on things that no one ever, ever needs, 585 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:46,488 like multiple magic sets, professional bass fishing equipment. 586 00:31:46,571 --> 00:31:49,741 How did you do this so fast? Is this powerpoint? 587 00:31:50,117 --> 00:31:53,370 (Playing you give lovea bad name) 588 00:31:59,876 --> 00:32:01,086 Oh, man. 589 00:32:02,671 --> 00:32:07,384 Angela really had a hold on him. Angela. 590 00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:10,053 Michael, I'm gonna set you and jan up with a debt consolidator. 591 00:32:10,137 --> 00:32:11,417 You meet with this guy... No. No. 592 00:32:11,471 --> 00:32:14,182 We are going to leave jan out of this. 593 00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:15,475 She has to know. 594 00:32:15,559 --> 00:32:17,060 We will find another way. 595 00:32:17,144 --> 00:32:19,146 We'll ask powerpoint. 596 00:32:19,229 --> 00:32:20,730 Michael, this is a presentation tool. 597 00:32:20,814 --> 00:32:24,151 You're a presentation tool if you think I'm gonna tell jan about this. 598 00:32:24,234 --> 00:32:26,445 I'm done. No, you're not... okay. Just... 599 00:32:26,528 --> 00:32:29,698 You're not a tool. Look, we'll tell her that it's bad, 600 00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:34,327 but it could have been a lot worse, but due to some fancy financial footwork, 601 00:32:34,411 --> 00:32:36,538 I was able to cut it in half. 602 00:32:37,914 --> 00:32:39,458 Jan is smart. 603 00:32:39,541 --> 00:32:40,667 She poses. 604 00:32:44,463 --> 00:32:46,423 Dwight, how's the hotel business? 605 00:32:46,506 --> 00:32:47,841 Stupid. 606 00:32:49,259 --> 00:32:51,261 Have you checked trip advisor recently? 607 00:32:54,014 --> 00:32:55,765 Maybe you should. 608 00:32:55,849 --> 00:32:59,019 Maybe you should... whatever. 609 00:33:02,606 --> 00:33:05,775 We wrote a good review. Under "comments," we wrote, 610 00:33:05,859 --> 00:33:08,612 "the natural aroma of the beets drifts into the bedrooms 611 00:33:08,695 --> 00:33:10,864 "and makes you dream of simpler times." 612 00:33:10,947 --> 00:33:14,576 Jim: "The dawn goose walk will tug at your heart strings." 613 00:33:14,659 --> 00:33:17,496 Pam: "Table-making never seemed so possible." 614 00:33:17,579 --> 00:33:20,624 Jim: "You will never want to leave your room." 615 00:33:20,707 --> 00:33:24,377 "The architecture reminds one of a quaint tuscan beet farm." 616 00:33:29,299 --> 00:33:30,926 I'm glad you enjoyed your stay. 617 00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:33,136 We really did. It was fun. 618 00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:37,182 (Sighing) 619 00:33:38,892 --> 00:33:44,105 So due to Michael's clever financial maneuvering, 620 00:33:44,189 --> 00:33:47,108 he finds himself tremendously in debt. 621 00:33:47,192 --> 00:33:48,735 Jan on speakerphone: You're broke? 622 00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:49,986 (Michael stammers) 623 00:33:50,070 --> 00:33:52,364 How did you get that from what Oscar said? 624 00:33:52,447 --> 00:33:55,116 How... I mean, Michael, how did this happen? 625 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:57,410 Where exactly did your money go? 626 00:33:57,869 --> 00:34:02,582 I don't... I don't get this. I really don't. I don't... 627 00:34:02,666 --> 00:34:08,880 I don't understand how you could be so irresponsible. 628 00:34:08,964 --> 00:34:14,511 I mean, it is astounding to me, really. 629 00:34:14,594 --> 00:34:15,905 I don't know what more to say, it's just... 630 00:34:15,929 --> 00:34:17,430 Jan? 631 00:34:17,514 --> 00:34:19,558 Yeah? What? Michael left. 632 00:34:21,142 --> 00:34:22,769 Okay. Where did he go? 633 00:34:22,852 --> 00:34:24,437 I don't know. 634 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,566 Well, is he coming right back? 635 00:34:27,649 --> 00:34:29,359 Oscar: I don't think so. 636 00:34:30,694 --> 00:34:31,695 (Jan sighs) 637 00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:33,530 I'll be right there. 638 00:34:50,213 --> 00:34:54,342 Michael: What am I doing? I am blowing dodge. 639 00:34:54,426 --> 00:34:57,387 I'm getting out of town. 640 00:34:57,470 --> 00:35:01,016 Whatever you call it, I am running away from my responsibilities. 641 00:35:02,434 --> 00:35:03,935 It feels good. 642 00:35:08,732 --> 00:35:10,567 You may ask me out to dinner. 643 00:35:12,736 --> 00:35:17,282 Nothing fancy or foreign. No bars, no patios, no vegetables and no seafood. 644 00:35:25,790 --> 00:35:27,000 Dwight? 645 00:35:33,506 --> 00:35:36,384 (Moaning) 646 00:35:50,565 --> 00:35:53,234 Did I ever tell you why I left Scranton? 647 00:35:53,818 --> 00:35:55,570 (Mumbling) 648 00:35:56,279 --> 00:35:58,406 Yeah, I didn't think I had. 649 00:35:58,907 --> 00:36:01,951 Well, it was all about Pam. 650 00:36:03,036 --> 00:36:04,663 (Mumbling) 651 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:09,542 Yeah. I mean, she was with Roy, 652 00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:12,921 and I just couldn't take it. 653 00:36:14,547 --> 00:36:16,549 I mean, I lost it, Dwight. 654 00:36:18,259 --> 00:36:22,931 I couldn't sleep. I couldn't concentrate on anything. 655 00:36:25,392 --> 00:36:29,938 And weird stuff, like food had no taste. 656 00:36:32,232 --> 00:36:34,567 So my solution was to move away. 657 00:36:36,736 --> 00:36:38,238 It was awful. 658 00:36:39,948 --> 00:36:43,660 And it is something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. 659 00:36:47,372 --> 00:36:49,249 And that includes you. 660 00:37:24,909 --> 00:37:27,162 Hey, I was thinking about dinner, we... 661 00:37:32,625 --> 00:37:36,254 Dinner. Let's see, maybe we should try 662 00:37:36,337 --> 00:37:38,497 the new Italian place where the dry cleaner used to be. 663 00:37:38,548 --> 00:37:39,591 Okay. Yeah? 664 00:37:39,674 --> 00:37:41,551 Yeah. Okay. 665 00:37:44,220 --> 00:37:47,307 Jim's just really passionate about Italian food. 666 00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:53,104 Yeah. I'm very passionate about Italian food. 667 00:37:55,231 --> 00:37:59,235 In fact, I'm in love with Italian food. 668 00:38:08,244 --> 00:38:09,496 Jan, he went running that way. 669 00:38:09,579 --> 00:38:11,706 (Exclaims) Okay, great. Thanks. 670 00:38:14,584 --> 00:38:18,588 Runaway train, never coming back 671 00:38:19,589 --> 00:38:22,592 run away and I'm never coming back 672 00:38:22,675 --> 00:38:23,927 Michael? 673 00:38:24,886 --> 00:38:26,095 Hey, jan. 674 00:38:28,431 --> 00:38:30,058 What's going on? 675 00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:34,020 Not much. What's up with you? 676 00:38:34,103 --> 00:38:35,539 Well, why are you sitting on a train? 677 00:38:35,563 --> 00:38:36,648 Where are you going? 678 00:38:36,731 --> 00:38:38,525 I am out of answers, jan. 679 00:38:38,608 --> 00:38:40,068 What does that mean? 680 00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:42,362 I told you. No more answers. 681 00:38:43,530 --> 00:38:45,365 This is who I am now. 682 00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:49,494 A guy on a train with no answers. 683 00:38:50,078 --> 00:38:51,746 I hope that can be enough for you. 684 00:38:51,830 --> 00:38:54,207 Michael, come on. 685 00:38:54,290 --> 00:38:56,501 Running away from your problems won't solve anything. 686 00:38:56,584 --> 00:38:58,169 You know that. I don't know that. 687 00:38:58,253 --> 00:39:00,505 Your creditors can follow you anywhere with ease. 688 00:39:00,588 --> 00:39:03,466 Your debt follows you around the world, electronically. 689 00:39:03,550 --> 00:39:05,301 I'll stay off the grid. 690 00:39:05,385 --> 00:39:06,886 Michael, come on. 691 00:39:06,970 --> 00:39:10,223 Come on. You can deal with this. It's not that bad. 692 00:39:11,307 --> 00:39:12,725 Yeah, it is. 693 00:39:14,269 --> 00:39:17,313 It is. I really messed up. 694 00:39:19,315 --> 00:39:20,525 Well... 695 00:39:22,193 --> 00:39:23,403 When... 696 00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:27,198 When my life fell apart and they screwed me in New York 697 00:39:27,282 --> 00:39:30,827 and I felt like my whole world was collapsing around me, I didn't have anyone. 698 00:39:30,910 --> 00:39:34,497 I mean, my whole family still won't even talk to me on the advice of counsel, 699 00:39:34,581 --> 00:39:38,251 and my friends were just waiting for this to happen. 700 00:39:38,334 --> 00:39:40,169 That's really nice of you to say. 701 00:39:40,253 --> 00:39:44,507 Michael, no. What I want to say is you were there for me, 702 00:39:46,134 --> 00:39:47,510 by my side, 703 00:39:48,636 --> 00:39:50,555 without even a thought. 704 00:39:51,848 --> 00:39:53,766 That's just who you are. 705 00:39:57,896 --> 00:40:04,319 I mean, no matter how badly I treat you 706 00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:08,364 or what I'm going through, you just... you are there for me, 707 00:40:08,448 --> 00:40:11,993 and that is a guy worth staying beside. 708 00:40:14,537 --> 00:40:16,581 So where is this train taking us? 709 00:40:23,004 --> 00:40:25,006 I think the engineer left. 710 00:40:57,413 --> 00:40:59,791 Hello, this is Dwight schrute calling from dunder Mifflin, 711 00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:04,170 and according to our records, you appear to be low on office supplies. 712 00:41:04,253 --> 00:41:07,173 Okay. Sure. Yeah. I can take care of that right now. 713 00:41:09,384 --> 00:41:11,302 Don't sell your implants, please. 714 00:41:11,386 --> 00:41:13,721 I'm keeping them. I know you like them. 715 00:41:17,266 --> 00:41:18,744 They're kind of uncomfortable, though. 716 00:41:18,768 --> 00:41:20,687 It's nice, though. Looks cute. Kind of painful, 717 00:41:20,770 --> 00:41:23,090 and my nipples aren't as sensitive now. Looks cute, though.