1 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:10,844 What's wrong, Michael? 2 00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:12,596 I got gum in my hair. 3 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,680 You do. 4 00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:16,058 This just stinks. 5 00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:17,684 Don't touch it. Please, don't touch it! 6 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:18,828 You've got a ton of dandruff. 7 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:19,895 Okay, let me be. 8 00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:21,122 How'd you get gum in your hair? 9 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,750 I was walking in and I noticed something shiny under Stanley's car, 10 00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:28,028 and I'd gotten under to see what it was, and I messed up my hair. 11 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,155 All for a stupid piece of tin foil. 12 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,491 But, best-case scenario, you thought it was a quarter. 13 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,034 Kill me, right now. 14 00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,328 We have peanut butter in the kitchen. 15 00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:39,164 I don't feel like peanut butter. Get me an ice cream sandwich. 16 00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:42,626 Nope, not for you, it's for your hair. And it is 9:00 am. 17 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:46,213 No, Dwight, not the good peanut butter. People are gonna get mad. 18 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:49,007 Hey, hey, hey. This is my hair we're talking about. 19 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:52,928 Smells good. 20 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:55,222 Tastes good, too. 21 00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,182 Oh, don't, that's disgusting. 22 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:58,934 Wow, a lot of calories. 23 00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:01,311 Well, just don't leave it on too long. 24 00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:03,772 Keep massaging, please. 25 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,275 Oh, yeah, that's nice. 26 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,563 Hey, Michael, how was your date last night? 27 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:49,026 I will be honest. The dating has not been going well. 28 00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:52,696 Look, men are visual creatures. 29 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:59,578 We crave beauty. Like a piece of fine art by 30 00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,874 any number of renowned artists. 31 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:09,630 Or an arty photograph of Cindy Crawford nude. 32 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:13,133 That, but the women I'm getting fixed up with are... 33 00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:19,348 Not that they aren't nice or have great personalities, 34 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:23,477 they just, they just lack a certain crawfordness. 35 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:27,189 I am livid. Absolutely livid. 36 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,357 It's ridiculous. 37 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,068 Yes, I'm having the Scranton branch come in on one Saturday, 38 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,570 so they can re-enter sales that they made on the phone 39 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:36,823 as sales made by the website, which they should've done in the first place, 40 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,450 if the website had been working. 41 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:44,665 My favorite branch. How's everybody doing? 42 00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,060 Hey, man, do you mind if I run something by you? 43 00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,044 Love it! Go. 44 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:53,215 Well, I kind of feel like what we have going for us is our customer service. 45 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,592 And no matter how much we change this up, 46 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,303 I don't know that a website's gonna be able to replace that. 47 00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,573 I can tell you've thought about this a lot. I appreciate that. 48 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:01,598 Thanks. 49 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:02,808 David Wallace does, too. 50 00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:06,061 You told him all about this at the Christmas party, right? 51 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:08,855 Did I? 52 00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,107 You did, yeah. 53 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,191 Hmm. 54 00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,402 Watch your back, Jim. 55 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:16,530 I'm just kidding. 56 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,786 Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? 57 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,080 I know that a lot of you are very angry with Ryan, 58 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,266 because he is the reason we all have to come in tomorrow. 59 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:32,295 However, I swear to god, if any of you hurts him in any way 60 00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:34,506 emotionally, or taunts him, 61 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:38,176 or makes fun of his height or his half-beard... 62 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,512 Okay. Thanks Michael. He... yeah. 63 00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:41,763 I'm here today 64 00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,808 to do some creative problem solving about dunder Mifflin infinity 65 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:46,768 and field your questions. Question. 66 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:47,853 Dwight. 67 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,038 Why am I being forced to come in tomorrow 68 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,148 and pretend that a website made sales that I made? 69 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:54,443 This is a temporary measure to increase the legitimacy of the site. 70 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,154 I don't like when my clients call me to help them use the website. 71 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,864 I'm not seeing commissions on that. 72 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,450 I hear you, Stanley. That is a great observation. 73 00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:06,246 Problems like that will not happen when we launch dunder Mifflin infinity 2.0. 74 00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:08,165 When will that be? Tbd. 75 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,249 Phyllis. 76 00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:10,435 Did the police solve the problem with... 77 00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:12,753 Yes, yes, they did. Yes, they did. 78 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:17,007 Yes, the social networking feature of the dunder Mifflin infinity website 79 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,593 was infiltrated by sexual predators. 80 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,596 I don't understand why our website needs to have social networking at all. 81 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,615 Yeah, actually I have to agree with Dwight on that one. 82 00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:28,143 It's all about creating a one-stop consumer experience. 83 00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:30,145 All right? You're chatting with your friends, 84 00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,980 you're talking about the latest music. 85 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:33,106 About the election. 86 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:37,402 All of it is happening in our virtual paper store. 87 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:40,030 And then an older gentleman asks you, "boxers or briefs?" 88 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,491 I don't get the big fuss, here. I like the site. 89 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:45,786 If I had created a website with this many problems, I'd kill myself. 90 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:46,971 Do you have a question, Kelly? 91 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,275 Yeah, I have a lot of questions. 92 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,081 Number one. How dare you? 93 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:59,174 Ryan has done a very good job, and I am not applauding sarcastically. 94 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,926 Think about it. A month ago, 95 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,261 nobody would go on this site, because we were worried 96 00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:07,724 about getting molested or losing our identity, having it stolen. 97 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:14,356 But now, at a time tdb, all of these problems will be in the past. 98 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,900 You done good, kid. You done good. 99 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,782 Well, it has been nice seeing you again, my friend. 100 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:24,908 You, too. 101 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,204 Oh, Ryan, I need a girlfriend so bad. 102 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,789 Michael, let me go. 103 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,040 Let me go, Michael. 104 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,208 All right. 105 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:36,920 Do you know any girls in New York you might want to hook me up with, 106 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,923 that might be interested in a guy like me? 107 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:41,675 Nah. Nah. 108 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,343 Sony, man. Vveh, youtned. 109 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,886 But, seriously... 110 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,681 You should see the girls I meet at clubs in the city. 111 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:48,807 Unreal. 112 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,267 They sound great. 113 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:54,896 Bye, everyone! Stay real, Scranton, all right? Peace! 114 00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:58,900 Would you have sex with Meredith? 115 00:05:58,984 --> 00:05:59,985 What? 116 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,295 Do you think she'd keep it quiet? 117 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,904 I'm gonna go to my desk. 118 00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:06,825 Jim, it's not the horniness, okay? It's thelonehness.Thats_. 119 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:08,201 I know. 120 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,745 Let's go to New York. We'll go clubbing with Ryan. 121 00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,080 I can't. Yes, you can. 122 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,915 You're single, I'm single. It'll be awesome. 123 00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,041 I'm not single. 124 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,626 Who are you dating? 125 00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,253 Pam. 126 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,880 That's still going on? 127 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:25,010 Okay, Dwight, grab your stuff. 128 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:27,679 We're going to New York to party with Ryan and to meet girls. 129 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:28,847 Yeah! Andy: Oh, yes. 130 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:33,101 Count me in, dudes. I am in serious need of some bro time. 131 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:37,188 Old ball and chain's been a lot more chain than ball lately, 132 00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:38,992 if you know what I'm saying. I'm right here. 133 00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:42,527 No, singles only. Singles only. Also, three is unlucky. 134 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,196 Curse of three. Sorry, Andy. 135 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,532 Cannot take any chances on curses. Not tonight. 136 00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:50,285 Let's go. Everybody, I will see you tomorrow, Saturday morning, 137 00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:53,663 probably wearing the same clothes that I'm wearing right now, 138 00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:55,957 if you catch my drift. 139 00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,167 Pam: We get it. 140 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,752 I am going 141 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,462 to go get laid. 142 00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:01,546 Goodbye! 143 00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,256 With sex! 144 00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,696 You know what? If we all stayed a couple hours late tonight 145 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,890 without Michael distracting us, we wouldn't have to come in at all tomorrow. 146 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:17,145 So I caught everyone before they left, and I told them my idea. 147 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:18,563 And they loved it. 148 00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:21,399 Because this is a group that respects good ideas. 149 00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:24,194 The one time a year they hear one. 150 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,449 Ryan's assistant told us 151 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:32,494 that he would be at this club this evening. 152 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,204 It is called prerogative. 153 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,418 Michael: This place is packed! 154 00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:42,003 Dwight: Fire hazard. 155 00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:43,463 Packed with 156 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,173 "beautiful babies." 157 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,801 Swingers, classic. 158 00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:51,930 Jon favreau, tall guy from dodgeball. 159 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,224 These women look like white slaves. 160 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,518 Michael: No, they'rejust hot. Hotties. 161 00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:59,813 I don't know. When you think about it, cabo is really the third world. 162 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,541 Ryan: I don't go to a place like that to see more poverty, you know? 163 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:03,668 You go there to get some glamour, and... 164 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:04,693 Hey. 165 00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:05,777 Michael? 166 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:06,861 Hey. 167 00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:07,946 What are you doing here? 168 00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,072 Well, you know, 169 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,035 just taking you up on your offer to party, so... 170 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,075 Ta-da! 171 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,785 That is so awesome, man! 172 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,078 All right! 173 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:16,621 And you brought this guy! 174 00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:17,956 Yeah! 175 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,290 Oh! 176 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:22,711 Ryan, it's Michael and Dwight. 177 00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,170 I know it's you guys! Okay. 178 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,172 I'm so psyched you're here. Well... 179 00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:28,508 All right! 180 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,176 Let's get a drink! 181 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:31,261 Let's do it! 182 00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:40,937 Jim: Thanks a lot, guys! Good job! 183 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:44,941 Later. 184 00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:46,526 Nice job, everybody. 185 00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:47,736 Great work. 186 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:57,203 Did you not tell the security guard we were working late? 187 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,873 Nope. I didn't. 188 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:03,543 But let's go inside and I can call him right now. 189 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:06,546 We can't. I locked the office from the inside when we left. 190 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:09,174 Perfect. You guys worked together on this one. 191 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:13,762 If I'm not in my bath with a glass of red wine in one hour, you're both dead. 192 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:21,394 There is a master key and a spare key for the office. 193 00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,688 Dwight has them both. 194 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:27,942 When I asked, "what if you die, Dwight? How will we get into the office?" 195 00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:31,446 He said, "if I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks." 196 00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:35,408 Ryan: Guys, I want you to meet a really good friend of mine. This is Troy. 197 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:36,594 Michael: Hey, nice to meet you. 198 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:37,660 How're you doing? 199 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,037 Hi. Dwight. 200 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,539 You resemble the tolkien character. 201 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:44,584 He basically is, man. He's a regular banking wizard. 202 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,795 No, no, no, not a wizard. A hobbit. 203 00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:49,166 Ryan: Bottle service, y'all? 204 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,591 Michael: Oh, okay. All I know is, 205 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:54,844 I would like some chicken fingers and a midori sour. 206 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,679 We don't serve food here. 207 00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:59,808 Oh, okay. Then just bring me two cups, 208 00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:03,978 one with olives, and another one filled with maraschino cherries. 209 00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,982 Do you live in a regular-sized house? 210 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:10,443 Yeah, he's a normal guy. He's cool. 211 00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:12,713 You really don't have his phone number? 212 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,989 I told you, I have the number that rings here. 213 00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,157 Do you want that number? 214 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,951 I might have it in here. 215 00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,911 Wow, that's great, Toby. 216 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,830 It's so random that I have it. 217 00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,414 Toby, you're the best! 218 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:26,852 When I put it in, I thought it might be a waste of time, but I guess it was worth it. 219 00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:29,254 Great. It's under here as "security guard home." 220 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,214 Did you not get his name, or... no. 221 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,550 It's ringing... does anybody have his name, quick? 222 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,676 Yes, it's Eddie. 223 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,803 It's not... it's not Eddie. It's Evan or... 224 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,263 Hank. His name is Hank. 225 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:41,015 No, guys, his name's not Hank, it's... is it Edgar? 226 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,100 Elliot. Elliot. 227 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,144 Is it... hey, chief. 228 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,980 This is Jim Halpert from 229 00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:48,398 where you work. 230 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:52,944 You are the guy who sits behind the desk. You're the... 231 00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,488 The African-American guy. 232 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,073 I mean, you're... 233 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:58,992 Who have I got here? 234 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:02,620 Dwight schrute, man. How's schrute farms? 235 00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:03,955 Good. 236 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,832 This guy owns his own beet farm. 237 00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:06,958 Insane! 238 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,085 Well, it's weevil season, but we were prepared. 239 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,838 "Weevils." what a crazy word, man. 240 00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,424 I don't even know what that means. What does that mean? 241 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,885 They lay their eggs inside the unripe beetroot, 242 00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:19,053 then, come springtime, the babies eat their way out. 243 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,471 Crazy! Sick! 244 00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,975 That's too much for me, man. I'm gonna hit the bathroom. 245 00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,060 You've already been several times. 246 00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,145 Yeah? 247 00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:28,873 Maybe you have some kind of bladder infection. 248 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:29,939 I don't know. Maybe. 249 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,691 I'll order you some cranberryjuice. 250 00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,568 With vodka. You're the best! 251 00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:36,738 Do you have powers? 252 00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,531 Oh, thank you, Hank. 253 00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:41,284 You are a lifesaver, Hank. Appreciate it. 254 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:44,996 All right, so Hank is going to come down here. He's gonna let us all out. 255 00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,332 He said it should be just under an hour, so... 256 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:48,666 All: Oh! 257 00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:49,792 We did it. 258 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,670 We should all make sure to give him a big tip this Christmas. 259 00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:55,924 Sorry, guys, but I don't think I chipped in for last year's. 260 00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:57,258 Neither did I. 261 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,677 Jim was supposed to collect it. 262 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,681 Way to go, man. 263 00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:05,058 Now he's never gonna come. 264 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:08,937 By a show of hands, who thinks we're a better couple than Jim and Pam? 265 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,107 Phyllis! 266 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:19,113 I thought about getting a tattoo on my back, as well, at one point. 267 00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:22,200 I was thinking about getting back to the future. 268 00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,285 "Back" because it's on my back, 269 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:29,040 and "future" because I'm the kind of guy who likes to look ahead into the future. 270 00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:32,669 I just think a tattoo should mean something, you know? 271 00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:34,295 And it's my second-favorite movie. 272 00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:35,797 I've never heard of that movie. 273 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,008 Back to the future? Oh, wow! 274 00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:41,970 Well, you should take a film education course. 275 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,304 How old are you? 276 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,306 40... I'm in my 40s. 277 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,518 Wow, that's so cool. 278 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:49,602 Yeah. 279 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,021 Well, I'm gonna go back to my group now. 280 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,314 Oh, okay. 281 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:54,524 Thanks for the drink. 282 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,984 You are welcome. 283 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,616 This place is like a... Like a sexy preschool. 284 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,636 Did you want a place where we can meet older women? 285 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:08,037 I would love a place where we can meet older girls. 286 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,247 Hell, yeah! 287 00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:11,416 I'll hook it up! 288 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,668 Wow, that's dangerous. 289 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,344 Excuse me. 290 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:24,512 Yeah? 291 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,056 How did you all find each other? 292 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:31,185 We're the Jersey state varsity basketball team. Northeast regional champs. 293 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,064 Amazons! 294 00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:38,234 It's off. It's not the dude I know. 295 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,462 It's some other loser who won't let us in without chicks. 296 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,047 Michael: You're kidding. Ryan: Let's bail. 297 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:45,366 Wait, wait, wait. You two, Jersey state girls, let's go. 298 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:47,327 We're not going unless we can all go. 299 00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,828 Okay, you know what? Fine. 300 00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:51,247 Let's go, two girls to a guy. Come on, let's do it. 301 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,915 Come on, Ryan. Move out! 302 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:56,210 Hey, three or four with him. Let's go, come on. Here we go. 303 00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:57,795 Don't step on him. 304 00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:00,631 Pam: Really? 305 00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:02,592 Hey, look what I found in the back. 306 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,111 Want to play? I can teach you to throw. 307 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:05,321 I know how to throw a football. 308 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,471 Of course you do. 309 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,306 Andy: Yeah, Pam! Hit me up! 310 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:09,515 Kevin: Go long! 311 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:17,607 Bartender: There you go. 312 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,610 Wait a minute. What is this? I didn't order this. 313 00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,861 It's for you. From them. 314 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,233 Troy: What are you doing, man? 315 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:31,037 It's not safe. Anything could have been in there. 316 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:32,497 Nice try! 317 00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,624 I've never met anybody who does that. 318 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,793 You wash dogs. Very cool. 319 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,420 That's one aspect of small pet grooming. What do you do? 320 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:40,838 I am a bank teller. 321 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,509 Ryan told me to always tell women you work in finance. 322 00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:45,802 Cool. Yeah. 323 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,428 I think so. Yeah, I have fun. 324 00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:49,389 I'm just gonna use the powder room. 325 00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:51,057 All right. So, phsee you soon. 326 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,392 Very perfect. 327 00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:03,194 This needs to be shared. 328 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:25,049 She washes dogs. 329 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,467 You're doing it, man I know! 330 00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:29,053 I don't want to get ahead of myself, but... 331 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:30,739 I think I want her to meet my mom. 332 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,265 Hey, man, 333 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:35,393 do you ever think there's gonna be this massive nuclear holocaust? 334 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,276 And after all the major nations are destroyed, 335 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:40,148 there'll just be tribes in the jungles that rise up and survive? 336 00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:42,775 Thatjungle warfare is gonna rule the world? 337 00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:44,861 Yeah, maybe. 338 00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:54,888 Ryan: It's inevitable, right? 339 00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:55,913 Mmm-hmm. 340 00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:58,851 Please don't pick up. Please don't pick up. 341 00:15:58,875 --> 00:15:59,876 Hank: Hello. 342 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:00,960 Hank. 343 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,503 Is that you? Yeah. 344 00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:04,731 Still haven't left the house yet, huh? 345 00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:06,299 Hank: I was getting ready to leave. 346 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,384 Good. Please hurry. 347 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:11,262 Stop calling me, so I can put on my damn socks. 348 00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:14,015 Will do. I'll stop calling. 349 00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:18,144 Michael: I am. 350 00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,896 I am getting out there. 351 00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:23,065 Well, no, I've asked a lot of girls to dance, mom. 352 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,442 They're just... it's not... 353 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:26,861 Listen to me for a second. 354 00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:30,531 Michael: Yes, I shaved the back of my neck. 355 00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,658 Oh, my god. Mom, I gotta go. 356 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,822 One of my friends is getting beaten up by some girls! 357 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:40,374 Actually, it's kind of too bad we're not coming into work tomorrow. 358 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:42,936 I bet Michael had some elaborate 359 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,130 theme party planned, like "scrambled egg Saturday." 360 00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:50,468 More like, "hey, everyone, let's get your boss laid" Saturday. 361 00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:04,565 I have an announcement to make. 362 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:08,861 I am moving to Costa Rica. 363 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:12,198 I've thought about it for a long time, now, 364 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,033 and I'm finally gonna do it. 365 00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:20,540 I'm just gonna hop the fence and jog home, then. 366 00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:37,866 Those girls really whaled on you bad. 367 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,517 Why wouldn't they let me dance? 368 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,977 Okay, I gotta go. 369 00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:43,062 Do not take him to a hospital. 370 00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:46,691 Pretty weird. 371 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,234 Do you have to go with them? 372 00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,610 I do, I have to go. 373 00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:50,861 Stay. Just stay, please. 374 00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:52,071 Okay, no. I have to go. 375 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:53,549 Good luck against conn college, all right? 376 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,699 Call me. 377 00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:55,783 Uh-huh. 378 00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,034 I'm not gonna call her. 379 00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:58,178 I don't want to go back in. 380 00:17:58,202 --> 00:17:59,328 I know. Here we go. 381 00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:06,127 Cleaning people. Oscar? 382 00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,316 Okay, so all you need to do is explain to them what happened, 383 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,484 'cause I think they can help us. 384 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:15,094 Why are you assuming they only speak Spanish? 385 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:17,430 If they speak Spanish. 386 00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:19,098 Oscar: Good evening. 387 00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:20,808 We locked ourselves in. 388 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,524 They happen to speak Spanish. 389 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:29,942 Lucky us. 390 00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,741 This is a one-time thing. You know that, right? 391 00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,492 Dwight: Wow. All right! 392 00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:39,994 Michael: This is it. 393 00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,787 This is where the magic happens. 394 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,664 Nice! Very nice. 395 00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:46,375 One of you can have the sofa, and one of you can have the floor. 396 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:47,877 I got the sofa. Dwight: I got sofa. 397 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,146 Dwight, I got the sofa, I'm the boss. 398 00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,588 Come on. I got floor! 399 00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,232 In case anybody needs to go to the bathroom 400 00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,484 in the middle of the night, I don't want to get my head stepped on. 401 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,844 Do you want me to sing you a song my mother used to sing me 402 00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:58,429 when we were sick? No. 403 00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:02,350 Okay, Dwight. Dwight. 404 00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:05,853 Leave him alone. It's a lullaby. 405 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:09,190 Ryan? Ryan, we're gonna take your clothes off. 406 00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,070 Guys... 407 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:18,324 I think my friend Troy might have a drug problem. 408 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,368 What do I do? 409 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,913 I think his species might have a higher tolerance than ours. 410 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,956 Just stop. 411 00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:27,958 Here's what you do. 412 00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:32,963 You tell him that you're his friend and that you're going to help him, 413 00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:35,132 and that everything's gonna be all right. 414 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,345 And then you put a wire on him, 415 00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:42,264 and you find out who's selling him drugs. 416 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:45,976 And then you get that guy and you flip him. 417 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:48,771 You turn him into a snitch. You follow that guy 418 00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:51,941 to the people who're really, really bad. 419 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:55,820 I've been watching the wire recently. I don't understand a word of it. 420 00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,154 Ryan: Guys, I'm going to sleep. 421 00:19:57,238 --> 00:20:00,324 You can leave the light on if you want, but please stop talking, okay? 422 00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,159 Okay. Good night, Ryan. 423 00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:03,953 Good night, Ryan. 424 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,708 Best night ever. 425 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,543 Like I said, 426 00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:13,754 it's not about the horniness. It's about the loneliness. 427 00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:16,382 And how can I be lonely with my boys? 428 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,677 Like a famous person once said, 429 00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:21,679 boys on the side. 430 00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:23,681 But I don't... I disagree. 431 00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:27,393 I say, let's hear it for the boys. 432 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,452 Son of a bitch.