1 00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:05,173 Attention, everyone! Jim and I, on behalf 2 00:00:05,256 --> 00:00:06,567 of the party planning committee have an... 3 00:00:06,591 --> 00:00:08,009 Tooloud. Too, tooloud.Tooloud. 4 00:00:08,092 --> 00:00:12,471 But effective. Look. On behalf of Jim and I, merry Christmas. 5 00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:15,349 All: Merry Christmas. 6 00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:16,726 Merry Christmas. Good. 7 00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:19,770 My diabolical plot is on hold for Christmas. 8 00:00:20,271 --> 00:00:24,108 My heart just melts with the sound of children singing. 9 00:00:27,570 --> 00:00:31,490 Not really. I'm just tired. The days are short. I don't know. 10 00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,743 Maybe I'm depressed. 11 00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:35,745 It is time to unveil the tree. 12 00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:36,996 Hey, rockefeller center! 13 00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:38,164 Jim: Yeah. 14 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,641 Uh, I've actually been to rock center 15 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:40,767 and this is nothing like that. 16 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,251 This is all we have. Ugh! 17 00:00:42,335 --> 00:00:43,753 Nope, it's not "ugh." 18 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,047 It is office camaraderie. 19 00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:47,298 It is warm feelings. 20 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,234 Why don't we talk more about it instead of doing it? 21 00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:51,886 Thirty, 29, 28... 22 00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:53,447 Why would you start so high? ...27... 23 00:00:53,471 --> 00:00:54,472 Three, two, one. 24 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:55,556 26... 25 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:56,766 Phyllis: Ooh! 26 00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:58,059 You didn't decorate it. 27 00:00:58,142 --> 00:00:59,142 Exactly. 28 00:00:59,185 --> 00:01:02,230 We didn't, because we think it would be better to do it together. 29 00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:04,190 Everyone. Why would you wrap it in a sheet 30 00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:06,317 if you're not covering anything up? 31 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,319 Is... is it fake? Pam. 32 00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:13,532 Yes! We are unveiling an artificial tree that will never die. 33 00:01:13,616 --> 00:01:14,616 Yes. 34 00:01:14,659 --> 00:01:15,819 Like the spirit of Christmas. 35 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,137 And we're supposed to applaud you 36 00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:19,163 for taking a giant diaper off a fake tree? 37 00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:22,416 This was a successful unveiling! Go back to work! 38 00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:24,168 Merry Christmas. 39 00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:48,025 Hello. Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. 40 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:51,112 I'm not sure I've earned the right to make announcements yet, 41 00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:53,572 but whoever is giving me the 12 days of Christmas 42 00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:55,449 as my secret Santa, 43 00:01:55,783 --> 00:02:01,372 please stop. I can't take it anymore. My cat killed a turtledove. 44 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:05,042 The French hens have started pulling out my hair to make a nest. 45 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:06,794 Please stop. 46 00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,879 What psycho would send that as a gift? 47 00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:15,970 I begged Dwight and Jim to give me Erin for secret Santa, 48 00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:18,347 and I decided to give Erin the 12 days of Christmas. 49 00:02:18,431 --> 00:02:19,598 Bowtie time. 50 00:02:19,682 --> 00:02:23,686 Is it my fault that the first eight days there's basically 30 birds? 51 00:02:24,103 --> 00:02:25,396 Ho! Ho! Ho! 52 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:30,151 Merry Christmas, boys and girls. It's me, Santa claus. 53 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:31,694 Hey, Santa. 54 00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:33,446 Theyfinahy ietyou do it yeah. 55 00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:34,613 Congrats, phyl. 56 00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:35,740 It's so edgy. 57 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,034 Phyllis: I have been wanting to be Santa for years. 58 00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:40,119 I believe I have the right temperament 59 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,121 and the figure to do the job well. 60 00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:46,459 I slipped a note to Jim 11 weeks ago, and he said I could do it. 61 00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:51,714 It's been a long journey. 62 00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:56,260 But I'm Santa claus! 63 00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,431 So, Santa, what can we expect from this party? 64 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,601 It's going to be a very jolly time if you've been good. 65 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,019 What if you've been bad? 66 00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:07,021 Then nothing but a lump of coal for you. 67 00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:08,856 What if you've been really, really bad? 68 00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:11,150 More evil than strictly wrong. 69 00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:13,694 Hey, creed? We covered it. Lump of coal. 70 00:03:13,778 --> 00:03:14,862 Yeah. 71 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,192 For the past several weeks, 72 00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:19,075 my secret Santa has been giving me pieces of a machine 73 00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:20,826 that I've been attempting to assemble. 74 00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:24,914 I'm suspicious of this, because I had the exact same idea 75 00:03:25,164 --> 00:03:27,375 for catching osama bin laden. 76 00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:30,753 I would simply send him a different piece each day. 77 00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:33,589 He would assemble it to find himself 78 00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:35,466 in jail! 79 00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,303 You know, Oscar, every time I make this lasagne 80 00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:41,639 people ask me if it's a family recipe, 81 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,934 but really, I just get the recipe from the box. 82 00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:47,144 That's funny. 83 00:03:47,228 --> 00:03:50,940 Is it funny? I thought it was more interesting than funny. 84 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,572 I think my water just broke. 85 00:03:58,656 --> 00:03:59,990 That's too funny. 86 00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:02,451 Oscar and the warehouse guy. 87 00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:05,830 Go, Oscar! Go, gay warehouse guy! 88 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:09,166 Here's Santa! 89 00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:13,003 Hey, little girl, what would you like for Christmas? 90 00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:16,924 Ooh! You have been a very naughty girl, I see. 91 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,135 Michael, we already have a Santa. Phyllis. 92 00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:21,554 What the hell is going on? 93 00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,349 Phyllis, Jim? Phyllis is Santa? 94 00:04:25,683 --> 00:04:26,767 Yeah. Phyllis. 95 00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:28,328 Yeah. I told her a long time ago she could do it. 96 00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:29,520 Take it back. That is absurd. 97 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:30,646 No. I'm not gonna do that. 98 00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:32,189 No, Jim, come on! 99 00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:33,500 I think she's doing a good job. 100 00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:36,193 Itsinsane! A woman Santa? Where does it stop? 101 00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:39,822 No! Jim, this may be the last Christmas that we have here. 102 00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:42,658 Doesn't it make you a tiny bit anxious, 103 00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:45,077 me not playing Santa? Come on! 104 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,014 I'm not gonna go tell Phyllis that she can't be Santa. 105 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:51,750 Fine. Then do it anonymously. Ransom-note ster. You can... 106 00:04:52,585 --> 00:04:54,145 You know what? I have a bunch of letters 107 00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:55,713 cut out of magazines in my desk. 108 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:56,797 You can use those. 109 00:04:56,881 --> 00:04:58,466 If this were Russia, yeah, sure, 110 00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,092 everybody would go to one Santa, 111 00:05:00,176 --> 00:05:02,094 and there would be a line around the block, 112 00:05:02,178 --> 00:05:03,387 and once you sat on her lap 113 00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:04,614 and she asked you what you wanted, 114 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,057 you would say, probably, freedom, 115 00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:10,728 at which point the kgb would arrest you and send you to Siberia. 116 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,522 It's a good thing Russia doesn't exist anymore. 117 00:05:13,606 --> 00:05:17,109 Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! 118 00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:22,823 Why pay more to sit next to old trannie claus over there 119 00:05:22,907 --> 00:05:24,825 when you can sit on my lap? 120 00:05:24,909 --> 00:05:29,455 Phyllis is only pretending to be a man. I'm the real thing! 121 00:05:29,914 --> 00:05:32,333 Sit down on my lap and there will be no doubt! 122 00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,459 Okay. Okay. 123 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:36,086 No, it's not, like, penis-wise. 124 00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:38,380 Hello, little boy! What's your name? 125 00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:40,966 Michael, it's me, Kevin. 126 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:43,010 Phyllis says I'm too big for her lap. 127 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:48,974 Oh, I am so sorry that Phyllis hates you and hates your body, 128 00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:51,852 but Santa remembers a reindeer 129 00:05:51,936 --> 00:05:55,189 that was just a tiny bit different as well. 130 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,857 When can I sit on your lap? 131 00:05:56,941 --> 00:05:59,568 Right now! Come on over here, big boy! 132 00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:02,947 There we go! Oh, my god. 133 00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:06,534 That's really comfortable. 134 00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:11,580 What would you like for Christmas, little boy? 135 00:06:13,666 --> 00:06:17,002 I don't know. I didn't know you were gonna ask me that. 136 00:06:17,086 --> 00:06:19,463 Well, what did you think was going to happen? 137 00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:23,509 I didn't know. Nobody's ever let me sit on their lap before. 138 00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:26,053 All right, just say some toys, please. 139 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,846 Can you give me some choices? 140 00:06:28,097 --> 00:06:30,099 'Cause I really don't want to mess up on this list. 141 00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:32,142 Damn it, Kevin. Come on. 142 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:35,396 What about if I tell you the things I don't want? 143 00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,648 Okay, get off! Get off! Off! 144 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,026 Oh, god! 145 00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:43,028 I didn't even get to tell you what I wanted. 146 00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:44,613 Okay, you know what you get? 147 00:06:44,697 --> 00:06:46,991 You get a thousand helium balloons attached to you 148 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:50,160 so Santa doesn't have to go through this again. 149 00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:51,704 Awesome. 150 00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:53,289 Well? 151 00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:55,040 I'm trying, Phyllis. You're Santa. 152 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,126 The only Santa. That's what I want. 153 00:06:57,209 --> 00:07:00,588 You promised me this. Don't make me get Bob involved. 154 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,256 What would Bob do? 155 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,675 Never mind. I shouldn't have said that. 156 00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:06,594 Does it hurt? 157 00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:07,845 It stings a lot. 158 00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:09,555 Hmm. 159 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,224 I keep trying to figure out who's sending me these gifts. 160 00:07:12,308 --> 00:07:13,392 I know, right? 161 00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,394 So far no one will admit to it. 162 00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,187 Isityou? 163 00:07:20,024 --> 00:07:21,108 Yeah! 164 00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:25,404 Totally. I admit it. It's me. 165 00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:26,697 Seriously? 166 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,742 Seriously? Are you serious? 167 00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:30,951 Is... what... is it you? 168 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:35,664 Yeah. Totally serious. I'm your secret Santa. Busted! 169 00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:38,876 There he is. 170 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,210 Hey, man. 171 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:41,962 Is Matt around? I've got his check. 172 00:07:42,046 --> 00:07:45,549 Matt is on a delivery. Just leave it here. I'll take it. 173 00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:47,968 I'll just wait for him. 174 00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,238 Matt's a pretty good-looking dude, don't you think? 175 00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,681 I'll just leave it here with you. 176 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,729 Come here! Come here! Come here! 177 00:07:58,771 --> 00:08:01,440 I'm doing something over here. Come on! Ah! 178 00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,524 Ho! Ho! Ho! 179 00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:04,485 Michael: Come on, I need this. Come over here! 180 00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:05,653 Just sit down! 181 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:06,862 No, no, no, no, no, no! 182 00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:08,197 Is everything okay? Yeah. Yeah. 183 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:09,549 Ryan and I are just having some fun. 184 00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:10,717 Can I just talk to you for a second? Yeah. 185 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:12,576 No, now. Okay, what? 186 00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:15,162 You can't yell out, "I need this, I need this," 187 00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,081 as you pin down an employee on your lap. 188 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,166 Okay. You know what, Jim? 189 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:22,419 With two santas in the room, things get ruthless. 190 00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,147 Yeah. Do you understand? You forced my hand. 191 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,051 Michael, it's Phyllis. We want Phyllis as Santa. 192 00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:28,842 Do we? Do we? Is that what we want? 193 00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,260 Why don't we take a vote on it? 194 00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:31,345 Great. 195 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,805 Hey! Okay, everybody. 196 00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:35,891 The office is being pulled apart. I realize that. 197 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:38,852 There are traditions at stake. 198 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,580 And there are women... Who wants Phyllis as Santa? 199 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:43,649 No, no, no! Wait! No! There are other choices. 200 00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:46,860 There's information that we... Are you kidding me, Kevin? 201 00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:48,362 After you almost killed me? 202 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,115 Michael, I had you. I just want to try Phyllis. 203 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:54,410 And if you want Michael as Santa, raise your hand. 204 00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,246 Can I get you some punch? 205 00:08:57,329 --> 00:09:00,624 I... no, I'll get some punch. That looks delicious. 206 00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:03,836 Kelly: Michael! 207 00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,006 Excuse me. 208 00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:10,759 Whoever has been sending me the parts to this gun, 209 00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:13,762 I think you sent me a gear instead of a trigger. 210 00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:15,806 How do you know it's a gun? 211 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,474 What else does it look like? 212 00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:20,394 Not a gun. 213 00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:22,062 Well, I don't have all the pieces yet. 214 00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:26,817 Well, unless the missing piece is a gun, you don't have a gun. 215 00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:29,737 Not a gun. 216 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:34,575 In the north pole, I spend many nights alone tinkering with toys. 217 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:40,038 So today, let's put a twinkle in old kris kringle's eye. 218 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,541 Let the party begin! 219 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:52,259 I don't ask for much for Christmas. I really don't. 220 00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:56,346 It's not like I am begging people to buy me diamonds 221 00:09:57,556 --> 00:09:59,725 and broach pendants. 222 00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:01,226 Oh! 223 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:05,105 "Buy me something expensive, or I'm gonna kill myself." That's not... 224 00:10:05,189 --> 00:10:08,484 I don't care about that! All I want to be is Santa. 225 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:12,404 And you want to take that away from me, fine. 226 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,364 Go ahead. 227 00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,283 But when you need my help 228 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,743 because I am ruining everything, 229 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:18,911 don't look at me! 230 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,249 Behold, 231 00:10:25,501 --> 00:10:26,960 Jesus Christ. 232 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:31,340 And I bring to you glad Christmas tidings. 233 00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:34,968 I want to remind everyone the true meaning of Christmas. 234 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:38,806 Those of you who wish to join me, that's great. 235 00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:40,140 I am excited by that, 236 00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:42,059 and those of you who don't, 237 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,645 I forgive you, but I never forget. 238 00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:48,106 Wow, Michael. This must be obvious how wrong this is. 239 00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:49,817 The antichrist. 240 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:51,109 Okay, you can't... 241 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,278 Look, you cannot push religion. 242 00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,197 But I can push drugs in here. 243 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,508 Is that what you're saying? No. 244 00:10:56,532 --> 00:10:59,034 Well, you have to pick one or the other. Your choice. 245 00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:01,829 Pick your poison. Get back to me. In the meantime, 246 00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:05,415 I am going to spread my goodness all over this company! 247 00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:08,210 Hey, phyms? 248 00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:11,672 Could you not reveal to Erin that I'm her secret Santa? 249 00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,650 All right, sweetie, I'll just tell her it's Michael. 250 00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:14,758 Okay. 251 00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:18,095 Both: I saw three ships come sailing in 252 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,465 Pam: Have you talked to him? 253 00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:20,597 What? 254 00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,474 Matt. 255 00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:23,767 Oscar: Is it that obvious? 256 00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:27,229 No. Hey. 257 00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:29,982 Hmm. 258 00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:34,278 Good pate, right? Oscar made it. Have you met Oscar? 259 00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:35,988 I don't think so. 260 00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:37,781 Hey, Oscar, come here. 261 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:46,290 Oscar, this is Matt, and Matt loves your pate. 262 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,417 I had some. 263 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,668 Oscar's paté's great. 264 00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:54,339 I could eat it all day, every day. Mmm. 265 00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:59,845 How come the good ones are never straight, right? 266 00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:01,722 Okay, Pam. Okay. 267 00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:06,810 Yes. They're the only two gay guys I know. But they should be together. 268 00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:11,440 This just arrived from the dunder Mifflin north pole branch. 269 00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:14,318 We don't have a north pole branch. Idiot! 270 00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:19,197 Uh-oh! What's Dwight gonna get? What is it? 271 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:20,699 Yes! 272 00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,743 Oh, yes! It's space garbage. 273 00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:25,454 Dwight's gonna be able to build himself a friend. 274 00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:27,748 Deck the halls with crappy gifts 275 00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:31,960 and Stanley, you've been very good this year. 276 00:12:32,044 --> 00:12:33,086 I have. 277 00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:35,130 Yeah, except for cheating on your wife. 278 00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:37,966 Adultery's a sin. Look it up in the Bible, people. 279 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:39,092 What'd he get? 280 00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:41,053 He got scented candles. 281 00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:44,222 Well, that's appropriate. A lot of fire where you're going. 282 00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:45,724 Better get used to it. 283 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,435 You're going to h-e-I-I, double hockey sticks. 284 00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:49,728 Going to hell, Stanley. 285 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:50,938 Angela: Amen. 286 00:12:51,355 --> 00:12:53,982 And this brings us to you, little one. 287 00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:57,027 I can't see from here, people. Somebody shout it out. 288 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,904 Don't make me get up. 289 00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:02,699 It's fabric. I really wanted this. 290 00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:06,453 That's fantastic! You can make another dress that goes past your feet. 291 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,704 Andy, was this you? 292 00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:08,789 It's a secret. 293 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:11,416 No, Andy had Erin. Phyllis: It was a secret. 294 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,751 Pam: Michael! Phyllis: You... 295 00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:15,379 What? Was I not supposed to say? 296 00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:16,713 What? Turn it back on. 297 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,117 David: Yes, Michael. What is so urgent? 298 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,519 David, guess who I am sitting here dressed as. 299 00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:33,313 I'm not going to guess. You can tell me, or! Will hang up. 300 00:13:33,397 --> 00:13:36,316 I will give you a hint. His last name is Christ. 301 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:40,028 He has the power of flight. He can heal leopards. 302 00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:41,154 Michael... 303 00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:42,948 I am Jesus, David, and you know why? 304 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:47,411 Because Phyllis, a woman, has uslurped my role as Santa. 305 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:48,495 Michael... what? 306 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,831 This is a very, very bad time. 307 00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:53,458 Really? What's going on? 308 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,545 Stephanie, can you hop off, please? 309 00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:57,838 Stephanie: Sure, David. 310 00:13:57,921 --> 00:14:01,425 What the hell? How rude! Does she do that all the time? 311 00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,319 Erin: Do you want me off this call too, Michael? 312 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:06,680 Hey, what? Get off! Get off the phone! 313 00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:12,477 David: Listen, I shouldn't tell you this, but the company has a buyer. 314 00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:15,022 The board will have no choice but to approve, 315 00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:17,357 and they are going to clean house. 316 00:14:17,441 --> 00:14:18,692 What does that mean? 317 00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,444 I'll be fired. 318 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:23,030 We”, can't Alan protect you? 319 00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:24,656 Alan will be out, too. All of us. 320 00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:26,366 All of us? 321 00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:27,451 Goodbye, Michael. 322 00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:28,952 Oh, my god. 323 00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:34,708 Michael: Earlier today, this office needed a Santa. 324 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:39,921 And then it needed a second Santa. And then it needed a Jesus. 325 00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:42,799 And now, 326 00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:46,053 it needs a Michael. 327 00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:50,307 And that's one suit Phyllis cannot fit into. 328 00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:54,686 Hey, how's everybody doing? 329 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,939 Not great. You heckled Santa for an hour and a half. 330 00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:00,108 That was a different guy. That was Jesus. 331 00:15:00,192 --> 00:15:02,486 Jesus sort of ruined the party. 332 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,196 Hurt, petulant Jesus. 333 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,615 Are you serious? That is so offensive. 334 00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:09,826 You know what's even more offensive, 335 00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:14,956 is bailing on this party because some jerk ruined the first part of it. 336 00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,959 Dwight, come here. 337 00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:21,213 Here's my debit card. I want you to go pick up a bunch of pizzas 338 00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:22,440 and meet me in the conference room. 339 00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:23,507 What's your pin number? 340 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,467 I don't want to say. 341 00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:28,011 But it's fun to stay at the... 342 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,057 It's fun to stay at the... 343 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:35,018 Where? Holiday inn. I don't... 344 00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:43,652 I thought that you would like it. 345 00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:45,195 It was a little much, Andy. 346 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,323 Well, it's the thought that counts. 347 00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,075 What were you thinking? 348 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:56,164 I suppose a gentleman might throw in the towel at this point. 349 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,460 Guess what. Not gonna happen. 350 00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:04,589 You know what? Christmas isn't about Santa or Jesus. 351 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:08,927 It's about the workplace. All of you feel like my family. 352 00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:14,891 Ryan, you are my son, and Pam, you're my wife, and Jim... 353 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:20,063 And Angela and Phyllis, you are my grandmas. 354 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:23,483 And Stanley, you're our mailman. 355 00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:27,279 And I can't help but look at all of your wonderful, beautiful faces 356 00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:29,114 and think, "how could they do this to us?" 357 00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:30,197 What? 358 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,366 How could we do what to you? 359 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,552 That's not... never... nothing. 360 00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:33,576 Why would we... 361 00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:34,828 We deserve to know. 362 00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,055 Michael: I didn't say anything! 363 00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:37,330 We're going out of business! 364 00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:38,456 What? What? 365 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:39,540 Andy: You are kidding me. 366 00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:40,726 Wait, wait, wait. Who said that? 367 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,502 David told me on the phone. David told me. 368 00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:43,771 Andy: When? When did he tell you, today? 369 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:47,674 Earlier today, he said we have been sold. 370 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:48,800 Jim: What? 371 00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:52,262 Jim: Dwight! Jesus. Pam: Come on! 372 00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:55,348 Michael, wait. So they said we are sold. 373 00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:57,309 David is gone, Alan is gone. We're all gone. 374 00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,852 Okay, but we haven't gone under. 375 00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:00,997 We've been sold, and that can mean many different things. 376 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:03,273 It's hard for me to imagine a scenario 377 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,901 where Meredith Palmer keeps herjob and David Wallace does not. 378 00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:07,694 No offense, Meredith. No, I get it. 379 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:08,921 I'll call him. I'll call David. 380 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:11,072 No you won't, because he's not picking up his phone. 381 00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:14,951 Yes, I will, because I always know how to get through to him. 382 00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:18,205 He told me where his kids go to school. 383 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:20,790 I call the school. I tell them I'm the pediatrician. 384 00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:24,628 They patch me through to his secretary. I use my little girl voice. 385 00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:27,732 David: Hey, sweetie, what is it? 386 00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:30,217 It's not sweetie. It's Michael Scott. 387 00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,320 What the hell? Stephanie, could you hop off, please? 388 00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:34,179 Michael, I have never... 389 00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:35,302 David... never, ever... 390 00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:36,598 David, you are on speakerphone 391 00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:39,392 with the entire branch and the warehouse. 392 00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:41,394 Hi, David. All: Hey, David. 393 00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:42,854 Hi, everyone. 394 00:17:42,938 --> 00:17:45,106 David, they do not believe me 395 00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:48,485 when you told me that everyone was canned. 396 00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:50,421 You weren't supposed to tell anyone, Michael. 397 00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:51,905 Well, I think we're past that now. 398 00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:53,573 I am not supposed... 399 00:17:53,657 --> 00:17:55,700 Okay, fine. Guys, I was really 400 00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:57,577 only talking about Alan, myself, 401 00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:59,412 and a few other execs you don't know. 402 00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,915 Oh, my god. David, that's horrible. 403 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:06,544 How about us? It's Meredith. By the way, your wife is a very lucky woman. 404 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:10,006 Look, they're buying the company for the distribution. 405 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,926 You guys are the only thing about this company that works. 406 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:14,135 So congratulations. 407 00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:15,262 We're not fired? 408 00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:16,763 No. Congratulations. 409 00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,473 All right! Yeah! 410 00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,101 Come on! 411 00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:22,435 It's a Christmas miracle! 412 00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:23,812 Dwight: Yeah! 413 00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:29,609 Walk a lonely road 414 00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:32,862 only one that I have ever known 415 00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:35,490 don't know where it goes 416 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:38,702 but it's all to me and I walk alone 417 00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:41,413 it's true. Yes. 418 00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:43,456 Dwight: We all walk alone. Jim. 419 00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:46,001 Jim. 420 00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:49,629 Jim. 421 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:55,635 My shadow's the only one that walks beside me 422 00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,722 my shallow heart's... 423 00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,141 Wow. 424 00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:06,479 Yeah. Thatwastheidea thank you. 425 00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:08,481 Awesome. Thanks, man. 426 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:15,780 Christmas tree thou leaves are so unchanging 427 00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:17,240 of course! 428 00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:20,452 You got it? 429 00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:22,370 What is that? 430 00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:23,538 I have no idea. 431 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,168 Well, maybe those will help. 432 00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:30,003 Michael, please. Come on. 433 00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:32,547 Sure. Sorry. 434 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:33,631 Nice to meet you, Oscar. 435 00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:34,715 Nice to meet you, Mark. 436 00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:36,760 It's Matt. Right, Matt. 437 00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,430 I know what I'm doing, Pam. 438 00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:49,230 Oh, man! 439 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,025 I can use this for so many nuts. 440 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:54,986 Macadamias, Brazil nuts, pecans, 441 00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:58,281 almonds, clams, snails. 442 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:00,950 Hi, Santa. 443 00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,285 Hi, Michael. 444 00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,082 Okay. 445 00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:10,293 I'd like to make a wish. 446 00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:11,419 What? 447 00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:17,967 I would like an Xbox and a TV that's compatible with an Xbox. 448 00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:22,305 And I'm sorry. 449 00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:29,437 An Xbox it is, because I've decided you're a good boy. 450 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,149 Scott, what in the hell is going on here? 451 00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:35,127 No, no, no. We worked it out. You called Bob? Phyllis! 452 00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,570 I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. It was earlier today. 453 00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:38,822 Okay. 454 00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:40,466 Hi, sweetheart. You okay, baby? 455 00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:41,574 I'm good, baby. 456 00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:43,910 Oh, god. Get a room, santas. 457 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,498 Dwight: Thank you, Santa. 458 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,916 Okay, happy holidays. 459 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,253 It's real slippery out here. 460 00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:58,341 Oh, my god. 461 00:20:58,425 --> 00:20:59,843 Twelve drummers drumming. 462 00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:16,067 Merry Christmas, Erin. Take it away, boys!