1 00:00:06,841 --> 00:00:09,635 (Both greeting in Spanish) 2 00:00:10,386 --> 00:00:11,679 (Phone ringing) 3 00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:12,762 Hello, dunder Mifflin. 4 00:00:12,805 --> 00:00:14,223 No, no, no.No. 5 00:00:14,307 --> 00:00:15,975 (Speaking Spanish) 6 00:00:17,602 --> 00:00:19,746 I believe that every man, woman, and child in this country 7 00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,189 should learn how to speak Spanish. 8 00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:25,526 They are our neighbors to the south, and this would be a healing thing 9 00:00:26,277 --> 00:00:28,362 for all of North America. 10 00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:33,951 And I am going on vacation next week to Cancun. 11 00:00:34,327 --> 00:00:36,454 (Greeting in Spanish) 12 00:00:37,288 --> 00:00:38,288 (Greeting in Spanish) 13 00:00:38,331 --> 00:00:39,790 (Chattering in Spanish) 14 00:00:44,337 --> 00:00:45,504 (Laughs uncomfortably) 15 00:00:45,588 --> 00:00:47,048 (Greeting in Spanish) 16 00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:48,507 (Greeting in German) 17 00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:51,385 I don't understand why Michael is wasting his time with Spanish. 18 00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:53,888 I have it on very good authority that within 20 years, 19 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:56,390 everyone will be speaking German. 20 00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,893 Or a Chinese-German hybrid. 21 00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:01,145 (Speaking Spanish incorrectly) 22 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,439 (Correcting in Spanish) 23 00:01:04,357 --> 00:01:08,110 Michael's having a hard time with the gender part of Spanish. 24 00:01:08,194 --> 00:01:09,737 So, I told him to Mark everything 25 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:12,365 with the international symbol for gender. 26 00:01:12,448 --> 00:01:13,616 And... 27 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,328 I should have been more specific. 28 00:01:17,495 --> 00:01:19,872 Your office is full of genitalia. 29 00:01:20,206 --> 00:01:22,416 (Speaking Spanish) 30 00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:24,877 "That's what he says"? 31 00:01:24,961 --> 00:01:26,170 Damn it. (Knock at door) 32 00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:27,922 Ah, Angelo! 33 00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:29,090 Angela. 34 00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:33,052 Michael. (Speaking Spanish) 35 00:01:35,638 --> 00:01:36,847 (Scoffs) 36 00:01:58,077 --> 00:02:02,248 All right, so I'll finish up on bulk pricing and then you go into delivery guarantees. 37 00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:05,793 You know, maybe there's an opportunity for a joke there, like... 38 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:08,379 Like, "I just delivered a baby. 39 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:11,382 "They didn't offer me a guarantee." 40 00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:13,634 Yeah. Maybe we don't even need that. 41 00:02:13,718 --> 00:02:16,804 Can you smell the power? Halperts, power couple. 42 00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:18,782 You know what? I should be getting this client, Michael. 43 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,409 My numbers are better than either of theirs. 44 00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:23,352 I went with the people I thought would put the best face on the company. 45 00:02:23,436 --> 00:02:25,813 If you want people to put the best face on something, 46 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:26,999 why would you get two people 47 00:02:27,023 --> 00:02:30,860 who probably have never out the face off of anything in their lives? 48 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:31,944 It's a good point. 49 00:02:32,403 --> 00:02:34,322 This is our first joint sales pitch. 50 00:02:34,405 --> 00:02:35,924 I think we're gonna work really well together. 51 00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:38,826 Yeah. I think we have complementary strengths. 52 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:39,909 We understand each other. 53 00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:41,787 We have good give and take. 54 00:02:41,871 --> 00:02:43,497 I give, he takes! 55 00:02:45,124 --> 00:02:47,168 I don't even know who you are anymore. 56 00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:48,336 (Exclaims) 57 00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:54,550 Hi. Donna Newton. Here to see Michael Scott. 58 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:58,763 Hey, miss Newton. Hi. I'm Jim. How are you? 59 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,223 Did somebody order a hooker over here? 60 00:03:01,307 --> 00:03:02,350 Stop that. Hi. 61 00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:03,726 Hi. How are you? 62 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,811 There's this woman I met a few weeks ago. 63 00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:09,357 Her name is Donna. Manager of a sid and Dexter's. 64 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:13,527 And right now, we're in the midst of a passionate love affair. 65 00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:19,742 No, but she is coming by today, maybe to buy some printers, so... 66 00:03:21,035 --> 00:03:23,871 Right here, we have the wonder twins, Jim and Pam Halpert. 67 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:25,581 They will be assisting you today. 68 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,666 You look exactly alike. 69 00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,168 No, we're actually married. 70 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,503 We're not brother and sister. 71 00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:32,421 I have a sense about these things. All right. 72 00:03:32,505 --> 00:03:36,759 You have some ancestors in common somewhere back. 73 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:39,637 I knew it. You should see their baby. 74 00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:45,518 So, yes, laser printers are more expensive, but they cost less to operate, 75 00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:46,769 so it's a trade-off. 76 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,604 (Knocking at door) Hi. Sorry to interrupt. 77 00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:51,524 Little time sensitive. Do you, Donna, by any chance 78 00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:53,109 shop at Victoria's secret? What? 79 00:03:53,192 --> 00:03:56,362 Because I keep getting these magazines sent to me 80 00:03:56,779 --> 00:04:00,908 via the address of the woman who used to live in my condo before me. 81 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,243 None of this is time sensitive. 82 00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:04,745 Yes, the sale's on now through may. 83 00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:05,913 Oh, yeah, thank you. 84 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,415 Okay. I have more of them. 85 00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:11,377 You would have weekly conference calls with executives in corporate, 86 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:14,296 a two week training program at the Yale school of management. 87 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:18,134 Obviously you would be high on the list for advancement opportunities. 88 00:04:18,217 --> 00:04:19,260 Sounds all right. 89 00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:20,511 What is this? 90 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,096 This is print in all colors, 91 00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:25,057 sabre's minority executive training program. 92 00:04:25,141 --> 00:04:27,435 (Scoffs) It doesn't just sound "aite," it sounds amazing. 93 00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:28,811 I didn't say "aite." 94 00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,104 How do I apply? 95 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,814 You have to be a minority. 96 00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,608 Glasses wearers, cholera survivors, 97 00:04:34,692 --> 00:04:37,945 geniuses, non-organic family farmers. The list goes on and on. 98 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,506 You want me to keep going? Those don't really count. 99 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:42,533 We're thinking more ethnic and racial minorities. 100 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,827 Come here. Come here. 101 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,372 Ten seconds ago this guy was driving a forklift, okay? 102 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:53,294 Now, all of a sudden, he's cinderella of the office? What are you guys thinking? 103 00:04:53,586 --> 00:04:55,588 I like the sound of this. 104 00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:58,632 Maybe one day I'll be sitting in Michael's chair. 105 00:04:58,716 --> 00:05:00,426 Wouldn't that be something? 106 00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:03,387 Dwight: One minority from this branch is going to get into this program. 107 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,639 Who would I prefer? Hmm. 108 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:09,768 The competent hardworking one who does things his own way, 109 00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:14,565 or the malleable simpleton who can be bought for a few fashion magazines? 110 00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:18,068 This is the second time that you've sent me the wrong size. 111 00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:19,588 I mean, I know what a four should feel like. 112 00:05:19,612 --> 00:05:21,113 I've been a four my whole life. 113 00:05:21,197 --> 00:05:24,492 You know what? You can go to hell, all right? Thanks for nothing. 114 00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:27,661 Oh, man. White people, right? 115 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:28,945 I don't know if she was white. 116 00:05:29,038 --> 00:05:31,165 Well, you can kind of tell from their voice. 117 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,333 Yeah. 118 00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:35,669 I bet you get pulled over by the cops a lot just because of your race. 119 00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:38,547 Well, they say it's because of texting, but maybe you're right. 120 00:05:38,631 --> 00:05:42,676 I think you should consider applying for the executive minority training program. 121 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,887 I never thought of myself as an executive before. 122 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,847 I know, 'cause you have no role models. 123 00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:49,683 How many Indian CEOs can you think of? 124 00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:51,852 I can't think of any CEOs, any race. 125 00:05:51,936 --> 00:05:54,271 You could be the Indian Bill Gates. 126 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,650 You could be the Indian Ted Turner. 127 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,904 I could be the Indian Julia Roberts. 128 00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:05,616 That's not... she's... Okay. Yes. 129 00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:10,079 I took the Liberty to scan a few things earlier, and I want to show you... 130 00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:13,749 There we go! Look at those vivid colors. Look at my eyes. 131 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,709 Those are Shrek-green eyes. 132 00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:20,381 That is me again. I think this displays the crisp, dazzling white. 133 00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:22,883 And that would be a display 134 00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:24,127 of the crisp, gorgeous black. 135 00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:25,302 Donna: Yeah. 136 00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:28,639 It's subtle. It's how it works. 137 00:06:29,098 --> 00:06:30,849 I show her an image that turns her on, 138 00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:32,953 and then she looks at me, then she looks at the image, 139 00:06:32,977 --> 00:06:34,412 then back at me, then back at the image. 140 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:37,398 Soon she doesn't know what is me, what is the image, 141 00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:39,483 she just knows that she's turned on. 142 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:43,904 This is a place that I like to go to be alone with my thoughts. 143 00:06:43,988 --> 00:06:46,615 I've never taken anybody there before. 144 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,742 Ryan. Who took the photo? 145 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:51,954 And that's it. 146 00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:56,250 That's me. That's who I am. 147 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,003 Notbad. 148 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,546 Oh, thanks. 149 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,590 You're not bad, either. 150 00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:03,841 Thank you. 151 00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,263 (Clearing throat) 152 00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:12,099 Oh, my god. 153 00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,476 Jim, could you come in here for a sec? 154 00:07:15,728 --> 00:07:18,063 What was that printer we were looking at? 155 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:22,026 You didn't see it, Pam. 156 00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:24,754 She was giving me all sorts of signals that she wanted me to make a move. 157 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:25,821 Shortbread? 158 00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,323 I'll have one. 159 00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:29,825 Well, maybe you shouldn't try to kiss people at work. 160 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:32,328 Oh, really, Jim? What about Pam? 161 00:07:32,411 --> 00:07:34,413 And you did a heck of a lot more than kiss. 162 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:35,789 Maybe this could be my Pam. 163 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:37,374 Okay, well, all that is irrelevant... 164 00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,501 Maybe Michael has a point. 165 00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:43,839 I mean, if she was really that upset, she wouldn't still be here. 166 00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:46,216 Was it professional? No. 167 00:07:47,593 --> 00:07:50,721 But I work in the nightlife industry. I get hit on all the time. 168 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,932 In my 20s, it would've been annoying. 169 00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:56,060 In my late 20s, I find it really flattering. 170 00:07:56,852 --> 00:07:58,812 Look, I know that I screwed up in there. 171 00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:00,576 I know that I probably messed up your sale. 172 00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:02,107 I just want to go in and fix it. 173 00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:04,693 What if I back out and you finish the pitch with Jim? 174 00:08:04,777 --> 00:08:05,903 What? 175 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,250 What was that? Just let him flirt with her. 176 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,199 People meet each other all sorts of ways. 177 00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:13,202 Pam, you know he's not gonna get anywhere and he's gonna blow our sale. 178 00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:14,721 Who cares? It's not that huge a sale. 179 00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:17,831 Hey, the schwab guy told us to treat every sale like it was a huge sale. 180 00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:21,293 Don't act like you understood anything that guy said. 181 00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:24,588 Good luck, wingman. 182 00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:29,843 How has being a minority affected you? 183 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,571 Well, there's a lot of pressure from my parents 184 00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,889 to settle down and marry an Indian guy. 185 00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:36,308 Oh, good. And you resent this because... 186 00:08:36,392 --> 00:08:40,020 Indian guys always wear their cell phones outside their pants. It's so dorky. 187 00:08:40,104 --> 00:08:44,775 No, no, no. That's not dorky. Look, it's easily accessible. Boom. Like this. 188 00:08:45,109 --> 00:08:47,611 911, heho. Scranton strangler's in the house. 189 00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:49,321 Inside the house! 190 00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,116 Just put it in your pocket. 191 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,617 (Chattering) 192 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:56,912 Look at that. She's totally flirting with him. 193 00:08:57,079 --> 00:09:00,874 You don't know that. Some people can't help oozing sexuality. 194 00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:03,919 You ever notice you can only ooze two things? 195 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,964 Sexuality and pus. Man, I tell you. 196 00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:09,842 She just crossed her arms together. That's bad. 197 00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:14,263 Maybe she's just pushing her breasts together to make them look bigger. 198 00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:19,977 Like that? 199 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,479 Is this the best you can do right now? 200 00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:23,981 For that printer, yes. 201 00:09:24,148 --> 00:09:26,567 Unfortunately we don't have a lot of flexibility. 202 00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:30,404 Oh. Well, I guess I'm just used to the restaurant business where, 203 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:33,240 if you're in charge then you can always get discounts 204 00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:34,491 for the people that you like. 205 00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:35,826 Jim: Yeah. 206 00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:38,954 Maybe we can find a little wiggle room, right? 207 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,080 What's that? 208 00:09:40,164 --> 00:09:41,808 Maybe we can find some wiggle room. (Sighing) 209 00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:42,958 I don't... I don't think so. 210 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,918 I think we could. 211 00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:50,466 I don't see how we could possibly sell these for that little without losing money. 212 00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:52,050 Delivery alone will cost... 213 00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:53,343 Okay, well, sometimes, 214 00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:58,640 sometimes it makes financial sense to lose money, right? Like, for tax purposes. 215 00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,935 Actually, I ran the numbers on this, and in this case, 216 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,771 it makes more financial sense to gain money. 217 00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:04,956 Why don't you run them again? 218 00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:07,300 What if she's just flirting with you to get a better price? 219 00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:08,484 If she is, it's working. 220 00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:12,488 Yeah, Michael, here's a trick. Ask her if she wants a mint. 221 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:16,784 If she says no, then she is not interested. 222 00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:18,702 She does not like him. 223 00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:23,457 You can flirt with someone to get what you want and also be attracted to them. 224 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:24,917 How do you think we got together? 225 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,811 'Cause I stopped by your desk, like, 15 times a day. 226 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,629 I was after your money. 227 00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:29,922 Well, the joke was on you. 228 00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:31,381 Yes, it was. 229 00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,717 Can you stop micromanaging? 230 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,695 I know how to do this. You're yelling... okay. Okay. 231 00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:36,720 What are you guys doing? 232 00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:38,524 This girl was really rude to me at the mall, 233 00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:41,475 so I created a fake im account from a hot guy at her high school, 234 00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,036 and now I'm trying to make her anorexic. 235 00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:45,312 Tell her everyone in homeroom thinks she's fat. 236 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:46,396 Kelly: That is so good. 237 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,625 You know, we really should keep practicing for this interview. 238 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,108 Oh, that's okay. Ryan coached me. 239 00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:52,027 Ryan? What does he know? 240 00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:54,214 It's easy. You just turn every question around on them. 241 00:10:54,238 --> 00:10:56,090 Do you think you're treated differently because of your race? 242 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:58,784 Would you ask that same question if I was white? 243 00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,577 We're so in. We? 244 00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:03,372 When I become executive, I'm gonna make Ryan manager. 245 00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:06,291 And then the two of us are cleaning house. 246 00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:08,919 Dwight: Kelly will be even worse than Darryl. 247 00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:10,438 If you'd have told me this morning 248 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:14,174 that today I'd be creating a monster capable of my own destruction, 249 00:11:14,258 --> 00:11:18,178 I'd have thought you were referring to the bull mose and I are trying to reanimate. 250 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:23,225 "So, corporate approval of this contract is contingent upon buyer and seller 251 00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:26,144 "obtaining..." blah-de-blah-de-blah. 252 00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:29,481 "Boilerplate, pound of fish." Just kidding. 253 00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:32,442 Do you like mints? Yes. 254 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:34,361 I carry mints with me sometimes. 255 00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:35,612 Oh, I haven't tried those. 256 00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:36,697 Ever tried those? No. 257 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:37,823 They're good. 258 00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:38,949 You want one? 259 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,035 Sure. It's like... 260 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:47,207 "Cool... certified cool." I like how they say "certified." 261 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:51,044 Like there's some consortium of... 262 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:54,548 Michael! 263 00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:55,799 I'm sorry. 264 00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,407 I can't stop myself from kissing her. 265 00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:02,514 Yeah. Now you know how I feel sitting next to those M&M's all day. 266 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,367 Well, why don't you just move the M&M's? 267 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,809 Why don't you shut up? 268 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:10,022 Okay. Guys, guys, guys, just tell me it's not totally insane to try one more time. 269 00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:11,106 It is totally insane. 270 00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:13,734 Michael, he's right. You are turning into a stalker. 271 00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,652 (Sighing) Okay. What do you think? 272 00:12:16,028 --> 00:12:17,362 I think it's over, man. 273 00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:18,822 Andy? 274 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:21,158 (Groaning) 275 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,343 Okay, some for, some against. 276 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,410 Nobody's for. 277 00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:24,536 Pam. Hmm? 278 00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:25,704 What do you think? 279 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:28,766 I think it's really, really unlikely. 280 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:29,791 Okay. 281 00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,501 Really unlikely. 282 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:33,754 But I can't say that it's impossible. 283 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,047 What? 284 00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:37,215 I'm not saying she's in love with him, 285 00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:39,593 but she could have left a while ago. 286 00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:43,096 Most printer sales are done over the phone, miss boob shirt. 287 00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:44,848 I'm going with Pam's group. 288 00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,850 Wait. Michael. 289 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:49,394 Okay. Michael. Michael. 290 00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:53,440 No. Guys, guys, guys, guys, just thank you for talking. 291 00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:56,360 Wish me luck. Jim: No. 292 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:59,488 What sort of movie would Rudy have been if he had just stopped 293 00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:02,032 and given up after two rejections? 294 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:07,287 Would have been a lot shorter, probably been a lot funnier, 295 00:13:07,371 --> 00:13:10,666 but it would have ultimately been a disappointment. 296 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:16,546 I still would have seen it, but that's not the point. 297 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,843 Kelly is disqualified. What? 298 00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:24,012 You said the program is not open to caucasians. 299 00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:27,933 Well, anthropologically, she is Indian. 300 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:31,144 Indians migrated from the caucasus region of Europe. 301 00:13:31,228 --> 00:13:34,523 Therefore, technically, she is Caucasian. You're welcome, america. 302 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,108 Yeah, but she's not white, though. 303 00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:38,568 Well, obviously she's brownish, 304 00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:41,613 but come on. I mean, Darryl is far more ethnic. 305 00:13:41,697 --> 00:13:43,490 Darryl withdrew his application. 306 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:48,412 The dates of the Yale program interfered with his softball league, so he's gone. 307 00:13:49,121 --> 00:13:51,707 I got my whole life to be a minority executive. 308 00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:54,459 I only have about a year left in these knees, though. 309 00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:56,503 So Kelly is the only applicant. 310 00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:58,588 Yeah, unless somebody else applies today. 311 00:13:58,672 --> 00:13:59,923 (Greeting in hindi) 312 00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:04,594 Oh, dear god. Okay. 313 00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:09,850 Don't make any decisions just yet. Okay? I'll be right back. 314 00:14:11,435 --> 00:14:12,561 Hello. 315 00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:15,147 That's very nice. Inevernoficed that before. 316 00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:16,857 Sometimes my bangs cover it. 317 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:21,194 Yeah. I don't want to be offensive, but may I ask you what that means? 318 00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:23,780 I do find that offensive, actually. 319 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,784 We should have your contract done by Thursday. 320 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:31,204 Oh, great! Great. I will look out for that stuff, then. 321 00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:32,789 Okay. And... 322 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:37,711 You know, I just wanted to say it was really, really nice to do business with you. 323 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:40,672 Yeah. It was nice to do business with you, too. 324 00:14:40,756 --> 00:14:42,090 Thank you. 325 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,926 Did I get everything? 326 00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,053 I don't know. 327 00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:47,220 I think so. 328 00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:48,388 Yeah, I think so. 329 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:50,223 Okay. 330 00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:54,895 So... oh! Donna? Donna: Yeah. 331 00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:57,647 Do you need validation? We don't validate. 332 00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:58,958 No. It's just in the lot, so... 333 00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,067 Thank you so much. 334 00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:03,904 You're welcome. You're welcome. 335 00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:05,530 Mmm. 336 00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:12,954 (Clearing throat) So, if you have... 337 00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:14,915 If there's any other questions that you have... 338 00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:18,668 I don't have any other questions. 339 00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:22,923 I'm just gonna make my way down to... 340 00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,549 Michael: Okay. All right. Bye. 341 00:15:24,633 --> 00:15:25,759 Donna: Bye-bye. 342 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,094 Have a good elevator ride. 343 00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:28,220 Donna: Okay. 344 00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:32,474 What's that out there? 345 00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:39,022 Michael, how did it go? 346 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:45,821 How would one of you feel if I told you I could put you on a fast track 347 00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:48,156 to an executive position at this company? 348 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,283 Holy cow. I'd be so happy. 349 00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:51,910 I wasn't talking to you, pale face. 350 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,787 I know. I meant I'd be happy for them. 351 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:58,083 What I'm offering is a ticket on a bullet train straight to middle management. 352 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,377 Dwight, I know these programs. 353 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:04,548 Every color is important, because together we make a rainbow. 354 00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:05,715 Yes. 355 00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:07,151 I'll slap you in the face with a rainbow. 356 00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:08,552 Mmm. 357 00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:13,473 Speaking of rainbows, Oscar, you are kind of a double minority. 358 00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:15,392 Gay. 359 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,186 So, we at sabre could really benefit from your perspective. 360 00:16:18,270 --> 00:16:20,522 Dwight, we know Kelly applied. 361 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:25,235 We're not going to cross her, no matter how good the program is. 362 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,695 I can protect you from Kelly. 363 00:16:26,778 --> 00:16:27,779 (Scoffs) 364 00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:29,531 Will you get out of here? Seriously. 365 00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:33,535 For hobbies, yoga, belly dancing, 366 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:36,371 snake-charming, beds of nails, I like lying... 367 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:40,959 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! This is hidetosha hacigawa. 368 00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:43,813 He would like to apply for the sabre minority executive training program, 369 00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,077 print in all colors initiative. 370 00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:46,464 Dwight, what are you doing? 371 00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:50,135 Helping heal america in a dramatic fashion in the eleventh hour. 372 00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:52,137 God, I hate you so much. 373 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:53,972 Caucasians. Am I right? 374 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:56,516 Have a seat. I'll translate. 375 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,143 Why? I don't need translator... 376 00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:00,812 You don't know what you need, just... 377 00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:03,523 Why don't you tell me a little about yourself, hide. 378 00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:05,275 (Speaking English) 379 00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,782 (Sighing) 380 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:26,880 Hey, Michael, how you doing? 381 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:29,174 I don't know. I don't know. 382 00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:31,176 Can't really trust my feelings anymore. 383 00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:34,888 You know what, Michael? For what it's worth, I was wrong, too. 384 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,556 I thought she was interested in you. 385 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,726 She suckered you, too? Was it the cleavage? 386 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,645 Yeah, and the shoulder cutouts. 387 00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:44,314 Michael, you know, it's easy to get fooled. 388 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:48,652 Bob's warehouse guys flirt with me all the time. It's mostly harmless. 389 00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:50,862 Usually I don't let it go too far. 390 00:17:50,946 --> 00:17:54,074 You know, when I tore my scrote, I was... 391 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:59,246 I was seeing this really hot urologist about it and thought she was into me, 392 00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:03,583 but now I think she was just doing a bunch of stuff to bill my hmo. 393 00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:06,086 You know, she's touching around down there. 394 00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:07,796 It's easy to get confused. 395 00:18:07,879 --> 00:18:09,381 Michael, I think Donna left this here. 396 00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:12,550 Should I put it in the lost and found for 14 days and then I can take it home? 397 00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:13,677 God. 398 00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:17,055 She left this here? Okay. 399 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,351 Maybe she wants me to return this to her at her work. 400 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,602 What? No. No. 401 00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:23,687 Kevin: No. 402 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,188 Yeah. This could be a signal. 403 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,357 People don't just take barrettes off. 404 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,693 It's not a signal. It's just a coincidence. 405 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,003 No, it's not even a coincidence. 406 00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:32,338 It's just something that happened. 407 00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:33,488 Michael. Well... 408 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:38,034 She doesn't want you to return the barrette. She's not interested in you. 409 00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:41,204 I know. I know. I know. I'm sorry. 410 00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:44,749 I know. You're right. Thank you. Thanks, everybody. 411 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:46,960 (Clearing throat) 412 00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:50,005 Michael! 413 00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:51,631 (Sighing) 414 00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:00,181 Michael! 415 00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:04,561 Oh, you're still here. I have your baguette. 416 00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:09,024 Everyone, it is my pleasure to announce 417 00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:12,319 our newest member of the sabre minority executive training program, 418 00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:14,446 Kelly rajanigandha kapoor. 419 00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,826 They're going to be pretty pleased in Tallahassee 420 00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:22,329 that I snagged an Indian for the program. 421 00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,539 She'll be the first. The program's mostly black. 422 00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,499 It's almost too black. 423 00:19:27,751 --> 00:19:29,753 That didn't sound right. 424 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:32,839 And the best part is, is that I get a business sfipend 425 00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:34,841 to buy all new clothes. Kevin: Awesome. 426 00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,569 So you can totally buy any of my old clothes 427 00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:37,695 that I'm not gonna need anymore. 428 00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:38,863 Oh, my god, thank you so much. 429 00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:41,890 I love that denim jumpsuit you have. How much? 430 00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:45,810 Actually, I was thinking about clothes that I was just going to give to goodwill anyway. 431 00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:47,604 Great. Hey, kiddo. 432 00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:51,900 Congratulations are in order. You deserve it. 433 00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:57,280 Thank you, Dwight. Oh. 434 00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:59,675 I'll never forget everything that you've done for me. 435 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,409 Gosh. (Laughs) 436 00:20:01,493 --> 00:20:02,952 Because I never forget anything. 437 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:09,876 Just once I would like to be a puppet master and have nothing go wrong. 438 00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,628 Is that too much to ask? 439 00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:16,216 You know what? Everybody told me that you weren't interested. Everybody. 440 00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:18,343 And I didn't believe them. 441 00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:21,137 And they were right. 442 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,974 So, here's your barrette. 443 00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:28,937 No, you were right. 444 00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,898 You were right. Who? 445 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,150 About what? 446 00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:35,485 You were right. 447 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,244 I'm sorry. No. No. No. 448 00:20:44,327 --> 00:20:45,787 Nope. 449 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:53,586 What happened? 450 00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:55,463 Kelly got into the minority training program. 451 00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:59,843 Really? Oh, that's great. That's such good news. I did it. 452 00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:02,679 I kissed. We kissed. 453 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:03,805 Oh, Michael... 454 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:06,266 No, I'm serious. The... this happened. 455 00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:11,229 I went down to the parking lot and I was... I returned her barrette. 456 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,571 We did. Okay. We did. We did. 457 00:21:20,363 --> 00:21:21,865 You know what? It doesn't matter, 458 00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:25,577 because I know what happened, and that is all that counts. 459 00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:28,788 I did do it!