1
00:00:14,557 --> 00:00:16,017
Stop it! Stop what?

2
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:18,060
You're talking
about me in morse code.

3
00:00:18,144 --> 00:00:20,563
But you know what? Joke's on
you 'cause I know morse code.

4
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:24,525
Yeah, that's what we're doing.

5
00:00:24,901 --> 00:00:27,486
In our very limited free time
and with our very limited budget,

6
00:00:27,570 --> 00:00:30,323
we went and got a nanny, and
then we went out and took a class

7
00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:33,284
on a very outmoded and very
unnecessary form of communication

8
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,953
just so we can talk
about you in front of you.

9
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,831
Yep, that's exactly what we did.

10
00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:43,544
It all started when Dwight was tapping
his foot against the leg of his desk.

11
00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,189
When I asked him
to stop, he said,

12
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:48,382
"I will when you
lose the baby weight."

13
00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:54,096
Very well. I must have
imagined it. I apologize.

14
00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:10,363
Detonator? Detonator. Where?

15
00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:12,156
Michael!

16
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:15,493
Jim, are you
clicking a detonator?

17
00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:17,787
It's a pen. Michael, come on.

18
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:20,206
Get back to work,
Dwight. Please.

19
00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:23,501
Fine.

20
00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:29,715
Hey, tap away.

21
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:07,878
Whoo!

22
00:02:08,004 --> 00:02:11,841
Things with Donna are so...
They're going great!

23
00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:17,305
I... we're just
clicking on every level.

24
00:02:18,014 --> 00:02:22,727
Emotionally, and
sexually, and orally.

25
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:27,940
And I am not used to
relationships going this well.

26
00:02:28,024 --> 00:02:31,319
I'm actually having trouble
focusing on my job.

27
00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:34,739
And I like it

28
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:37,742
who enjoys the weekends?

29
00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:41,996
Of course. Now the
weekend is always great

30
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:46,208
if you have someone, which
I do. I have Donna, she is hot.

31
00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:47,793
She has a pilates butt.

32
00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:51,255
But we need to find something to
do this weekend beside have sex.

33
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:53,424
Did I say that? Yes, I did.

34
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,469
And the reason you are here
is that I need ideas

35
00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:59,392
for things that Donna and I can do
on the weekend. 80 just shout it out.

36
00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:01,182
I have an idea for
your weekend. Okay.

37
00:03:01,307 --> 00:03:03,517
Let me go back to my
desk right now. Okay.

38
00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:05,770
You get out of here, big dog.

39
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,772
No, no, no, no, you guys
sit down. I need ideas.

40
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:08,856
Stanley got to go.

41
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,334
Yeah, well, Stanley
doesn't help with anything.

42
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:11,668
Come on, shout them out.
Shout them out.

43
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:12,943
Walk around apple orchards. Oh!

44
00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,278
Superromanfic thafsfun.

45
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:15,488
Eel fishing. All right.

46
00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:17,198
Curl up with your favorite DVD.

47
00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:18,721
You and Donna
should hit the poconos.

48
00:03:18,783 --> 00:03:21,535
They have heart-shaped
jacuzzis, room enough for three.

49
00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:23,746
We actually went to the
poconos last Tuesday.

50
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:28,751
We headed up there, we went to
a little Chinese bistro, pf. Chang's.

51
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:31,188
Why would you go all the way
to the poconos to pf. Chang's

52
00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:32,963
when we have
the great wall in Scranton?

53
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,608
Because when your
super-hot girlfriend

54
00:03:34,632 --> 00:03:36,068
says, "I want to
go to mount pocono,"

55
00:03:36,092 --> 00:03:38,844
you go to mount pocono,
and you do her.

56
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:41,222
And we screwed. Whoops! Tmi!

57
00:03:41,305 --> 00:03:43,557
Wait, that's crazy far. Are
you sure she's not cheating?

58
00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:45,726
You know what, Kelly,
this is the real world.

59
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:48,229
Not, the real world, Scranton.

60
00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:49,897
Oh, my god, this is super weird.

61
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,083
When Ryan had two girlfriends,

62
00:03:51,107 --> 00:03:52,827
he used to take me to
some diner in hazleton

63
00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:54,044
just so the other
girl wouldn't see.

64
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,529
Some diner?
It was the starlight diner.

65
00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:59,657
It's in a life magazine
spread about americana.

66
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,409
You guys think
Donna's cheating on me?

67
00:04:01,659 --> 00:04:03,577
No. Michael, no.

68
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:07,039
You had a nice meal with
your girlfriend in a lovely place.

69
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,749
And sex. We had
sex, too. That is right.

70
00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:10,668
Don't make any more of it. How?

71
00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:12,878
How what? How do I
not make any more of it?

72
00:04:12,962 --> 00:04:14,755
You could start by
concluding this meeting.

73
00:04:14,839 --> 00:04:15,881
All right.

74
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:19,093
Okay. And she
won't say, "I love you."

75
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,176
Dwight: Oh, no.

76
00:04:20,219 --> 00:04:21,512
How many dates have you been on?

77
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:24,223
Nine dates. I said it
on the second date.

78
00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:28,352
That seems quick,
even for lesbians.

79
00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:30,664
Ryan: Does she keep
herphonelocked around you, Michael?

80
00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:32,982
Does she watch how much
she drinks around you, Michael?

81
00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:35,001
Does she leave the room
when she takes phone calls?

82
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:37,505
Does she keep perfume in her
purse? Does she shower before sex?

83
00:04:37,570 --> 00:04:39,155
Does she shower
after sex? Does she...

84
00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:40,781
Yeah, she does all that.

85
00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:42,105
Sowy, dude. Oh, no, no, no, no.

86
00:04:42,158 --> 00:04:44,034
Michael, do not let
your imagination run amok.

87
00:04:44,118 --> 00:04:45,369
Run what? Amok.

88
00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:47,613
It means don't let your
imagination run out of control.

89
00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:49,331
Why didn't you
just say that, Pam?

90
00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:51,615
Michael, do not let your
imagination run out of control.

91
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:53,085
Well, that's easy
for you to say.

92
00:04:53,169 --> 00:04:55,045
You have a bad
imagination, it's stupid.

93
00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:56,630
I live in a fantasy world.

94
00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:57,798
You do?

95
00:04:57,882 --> 00:04:59,633
Yes, Jim, I do.

96
00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:01,510
And I can't stay
in a relationship

97
00:05:01,594 --> 00:05:03,387
that is full of lies and deceit.

98
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,365
But you didn't believe any of
this was true five minutes ago.

99
00:05:05,389 --> 00:05:07,475
That's what makes it so raw.

100
00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:09,894
Ever since I found out that
Donna might be cheating on me,

101
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:12,021
I have not eaten or slept.

102
00:05:13,397 --> 00:05:16,400
It's the not knowing,
that's what's killing me.

103
00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:22,072
Oh, god, that tickles.
What do you...

104
00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:25,201
I want someone to follow Donna.

105
00:05:25,284 --> 00:05:26,619
I want her tailed.

106
00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:29,747
I need the name of a
good private investigator.

107
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,249
I think I've got one for you.

108
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,419
This is you.
How much do you charge?

109
00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:37,046
$100 a day plus expenses.

110
00:05:37,129 --> 00:05:38,529
I'll give you 50.
Money's no object.

111
00:05:38,589 --> 00:05:39,632
Done.

112
00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:41,985
I'm just going to warn you,
and I say this to all my clients,

113
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,344
you might not like what I find.

114
00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:44,470
Okay.

115
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,972
And you might not
like how I find it.

116
00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:53,062
Of course.
Yeah, that's terrible.

117
00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:55,356
Okay, let me get back to you.

118
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,693
Hey, Stanley, one of my clients just
called and said that their sabre printer

119
00:05:59,777 --> 00:06:02,071
started smoking
and caught on fire.

120
00:06:02,446 --> 00:06:06,492
My doctor told me to cutout
hot dogs. We all got problems.

121
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,831
Hey, Gabe, I need to talk to you
about something. It's really important.

122
00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:15,018
There's no way that you guys
have any almond butter, right?

123
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,211
Yeah, I don't know. Look,
one of my clients called.

124
00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:18,605
He was in the middle
of a big printing job

125
00:06:18,629 --> 00:06:20,548
and the back of the
printer started smoking

126
00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:22,299
and then the paper
tray caught on fire.

127
00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:25,636
That's weird. I haven't
heard of that happening.

128
00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:27,471
I would even settle
for apricot preserves.

129
00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:28,990
What are we going
to do about this?

130
00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:31,600
I don't know. Call hq,
see if they know anything.

131
00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:36,814
Yeah, that's what I'll
do today. All right.

132
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,399
Let me know what they say.

133
00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:43,279
Wow, that dude is good.

134
00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:44,488
What do you mean?

135
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,824
You didn't feel like
he was hiding something?

136
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,117
I don't know.

137
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,828
Like he was
covering something up?

138
00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:52,496
Maybe.

139
00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:04,633
Two years ago,
Andy blamed the warehouse

140
00:07:04,717 --> 00:07:07,261
for a late shipment
that he forgot to process.

141
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:10,306
We got yelled at pretty bad,
almost lost my job.

142
00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:12,766
Man, I was mad as
hell at the time.

143
00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:16,186
But I said, "Darryl,
just wait. He's a fool.

144
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:19,773
"There's going to be an
opportunity. Just be patient."

145
00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:23,777
Hey, stranger.

146
00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:25,946
Oh, hi. You work for Michael.

147
00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:27,906
I work with Michael. Right.

148
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:29,825
Dwight schrute. Donna, hl

149
00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:32,077
all cases are solved with logic.

150
00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:35,623
The only logical way to find out if
Donna is a cheater is to seduce her,

151
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:39,877
bring her to orgasm, then call
Michael and tell him the sad news.

152
00:07:41,337 --> 00:07:43,148
Wow. It's a little early for
ice cream, don't you think?

153
00:07:43,172 --> 00:07:45,633
It's never too early
for ice cream, Jim.

154
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,676
But we didn't
have any ice cream,

155
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,470
so this is mayonnaise
and black olives.

156
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:50,596
Oh! Oh, my god.

157
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:51,847
It's comfort food, all right?

158
00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:53,474
God!

159
00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:55,452
Michael, this whole Donna
thing is going to be okay.

160
00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:56,911
You just...
Stop beating yourself up.

161
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,604
I know. Well,
I hope you're right.

162
00:07:58,687 --> 00:07:59,748
We'll see what Dwight says.

163
00:07:59,772 --> 00:08:01,041
Why do we have to
see what Dwight says?

164
00:08:01,065 --> 00:08:02,816
Because I have him
investigating her.

165
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,044
I'm waiting for a text update.

166
00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:05,295
Michael, no, no, no, no, no, no.

167
00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:06,445
No, no, no, no, no. Undothat

168
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,697
undo that.
It's too late to undo it.

169
00:08:08,781 --> 00:08:11,617
I need to know, otherwise this
thing is going to spiral out of amok.

170
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,870
Michael, okay, I'm going
to talk straight to you

171
00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:16,264
because I think you
need to hear it. Michael...

172
00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:17,581
This is so disgusting.

173
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:20,459
Stop eating it.
Do you want to be happy?

174
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:24,296
Look at you. You have a major
self-destructive streak in you.

175
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,173
I know. And you...

176
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:29,885
You kind of torpedo every
romantic relationship you're in.

177
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,136
That's not true.

178
00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:36,266
You're right. I ruin everything.

179
00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:39,144
And I have known
some wonderful women.

180
00:08:39,395 --> 00:08:41,522
Holly, Carole, jan.

181
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:42,690
Helene.

182
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:43,857
Helene?

183
00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,609
My mother. Oh!

184
00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:46,694
My mother, helene.

185
00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:48,362
Oh, yeah. Yes, yes, yes.

186
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,448
All of the greatest
loves of my life.

187
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:56,120
You should stop this. You
should call Dwight right now.

188
00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,289
All right.

189
00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:07,881
Oh, gosh, we're both going for
the same weight at the same time.

190
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:09,049
You go ahead. Thank you.

191
00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:10,217
It's all yours.

192
00:09:28,152 --> 00:09:29,152
You okay?

193
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:30,446
Yeah, I'm good.

194
00:09:30,696 --> 00:09:33,490
Hey, you know an exercise for
two people that uses the whole body?

195
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,369
Yeah, I think I know
what you're talking about.

196
00:09:37,453 --> 00:09:39,246
Tractor pull.

197
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,415
Too bad there's
not a tractor here.

198
00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:50,698
One thing you need
to know about me,

199
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:53,010
I don't quit until
something tears or pops.

200
00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:57,055
You look like you're
getting a good workout.

201
00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:58,182
Can I feel your pulse?

202
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,142
Nope, I'm good. Thanks.

203
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,477
Really?

204
00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:02,936
Hey. All right.

205
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:04,563
Young man, can you
wipe down that seat?

206
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:05,939
Get out of my way.

207
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:09,067
Tomorrow's
fertilizer, am I right?

208
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:10,277
I'm out of here.

209
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,737
Donna, Donna, wait. Please.

210
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,489
I'm sorry, okay?

211
00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:16,700
Listen, we both know
why I'm here.

212
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:20,204
To see you naked

213
00:10:20,496 --> 00:10:24,333
while I'm naked.

214
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:27,211
You stay away from me
or I'm calling security.

215
00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:29,880
Donna, come...

216
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,092
You're back. What happened?

217
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:36,804
I pulled muscles in both
my thighs. Thanks for asking.

218
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,305
No. What happened with Donna?

219
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:40,057
Yeah, no. She's not cheating.

220
00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:43,435
Oh, man! Will you help me
work out this knot? Right here.

221
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,479
Put your fingers here.
Ugh! No, no.

222
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:46,814
Are you sure? I'm positive.

223
00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:49,983
Yeah, here's your expense
receipts. Right there.

224
00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:51,735
Who eats eight protein bars?

225
00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,014
People who don't
trust egg whites.

226
00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:56,490
Okay. Well, I am just
glad this is all over.

227
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:57,616
Oh! Me, too.

228
00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,493
And by the way,
I told her not to,

229
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,336
but she's coming over
here and she's furious.

230
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,298
What? No, she didn't
say that. You're right.

231
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,666
I was paraphrasing.

232
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:08,585
What she actually said was,
"what is with him?

233
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:11,046
"He is crazy. I'm coming
over there to talk to him."

234
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,899
And this was after
I had no other recourse

235
00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,842
but to tell her and gym security

236
00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:17,886
that you had sent me there
to see if she was cheating.

237
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:22,474
Also, I joined the gym.
You'll be billed monthly.

238
00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:27,938
I am not
paying for that membership.

239
00:11:36,989 --> 00:11:39,575
Maybe you'd be more
comfortable in your own office.

240
00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,910
No, I like the attention.

241
00:11:44,288 --> 00:11:45,289
Is she here yet?

242
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,042
Wait, yes. That's her?

243
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,627
Yeah.

244
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:52,754
Mmm-hmm.

245
00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:57,009
Right. Right. Right.
Okay, I'll talk to you later.

246
00:12:01,138 --> 00:12:03,223
How could you think
I would cheat on you?

247
00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:05,726
I didn't, everybody
else here did.

248
00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:09,021
Everybody convinced me
that something was up.

249
00:12:09,104 --> 00:12:10,647
They poisoned my mind.

250
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:11,857
That's pathetic.

251
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:15,736
Well, no, it's a lie.

252
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,821
That's not what happened.

253
00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:21,116
I just like you. I can't
believe I get to be with you.

254
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,244
You work at an adult arcade.

255
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:26,663
You could have any man you want.

256
00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:32,044
When I tell you I like you,
you need to trust me.

257
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,712
Not some freak.

258
00:12:35,047 --> 00:12:36,715
If you want to dump me,
I totally get it.

259
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:38,342
I told you I like you.

260
00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:42,471
Well, you are bonerific.

261
00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:50,020
Hey, if I said that we should go
away for a couple days, you would...

262
00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:51,438
Poop my pants.

263
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:53,315
Have you ever
been to vero beach?

264
00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:55,192
Oh, my god, vero beach?

265
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:58,153
No. Is that on the water?

266
00:12:58,236 --> 00:12:59,237
We're going.

267
00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:00,447
Yeah. We are?

268
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:01,949
What's up? I read your e-mail.

269
00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:03,700
Close the door.

270
00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:05,702
Okay.

271
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:09,164
I don't have a plan exactly,
more of a loose structure.

272
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:13,126
Gives me freedom to
improvise. It's like jazz.

273
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:18,131
J“ Andy don't mess with me j“

274
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:21,218
I'll figure something out.

275
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,512
Some freaky stuff going on.

276
00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,806
I was walking by Gabe
and I heard some things.

277
00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:27,474
Such as?

278
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,893
It was kind of mumbled.
I don't know.

279
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:34,314
The only thing I could make out
clearly was, "Andy, problem, eliminate."

280
00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:35,541
Something. I don't
know what it meant.

281
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,150
What? You don't
know what it meant?

282
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:40,821
How about, "Andy is a problem
and we must eliminate him."

283
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,323
Oh! I hadn't even
thought of that.

284
00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:45,033
Yeah.

285
00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:51,915
Oh, hey, I love your earrings.

286
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,041
Thank you.

287
00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:54,751
Did Michael get them for you?

288
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,878
No, I bought them myself.

289
00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:58,463
Where?

290
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:00,173
Steamtown mall.

291
00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:03,010
Claire's? Zales? Ricky's?
Earrings, earrings, earrings?

292
00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:04,594
Fancy girl? Platinum cat?

293
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:05,762
Where?

294
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:08,140
You know, I actually
got them in Philadelphia.

295
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,391
In a mall down there.

296
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:10,517
Franklin mills?

297
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,770
King of prussia?
Springfield? Governor's place?

298
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,772
Franklin mills.

299
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:20,902
What? Hmm.

300
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:22,612
Oh!

301
00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:25,073
It's probably nothing.

302
00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:29,202
Okay, heart-shaped jewelry is not
something that a woman buys for herself,

303
00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:32,039
a man definitely
bought it for her recently,

304
00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:34,041
and it wasn't Michael.

305
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:36,877
Wait, so you like heart-shaped
jewelry, though, right?

306
00:14:38,462 --> 00:14:40,839
Except for the pendant
that you bought me.

307
00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:42,466
Which I love.

308
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,053
Psst!

309
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,979
Creed's head
of quality assurance,

310
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:58,273
so he'd definitely
be wrapped up in this.

311
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:00,901
So there I am
minding my own business,

312
00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:03,236
and Darnell offers me
three bucks.

313
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:06,239
All I've got to do is walk
by Andy and go like this.

314
00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:09,201
Darnell's a chump. I
would've done it for anything.

315
00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:11,203
I've done a lot
more for a lot less.

316
00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:17,292
Pam: So, it turns out Donna and I have
a Facebook friend of a friend in common,

317
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:20,629
so I was able to see
some of her pictures online.

318
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:24,007
This was taken two weeks ago.

319
00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:28,345
And this was
taken the same night.

320
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:32,641
This photo was
taken this morning.

321
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,559
It's Cece.

322
00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:37,354
She's never going
to do anything wrong.

323
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:40,398
Isn't that something?
Wow. That's exciting.

324
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,234
Hey, Michael. Hey.

325
00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:43,860
Sorry to interrupt you.

326
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,339
I actually have something very
important to talk to you about.

327
00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:47,590
Well, it can wait.
Business related.

328
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,366
It can wait.
I lied, it's personal.

329
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,742
It's about me and Jim, we're...

330
00:15:50,826 --> 00:15:53,120
You're the only
person I can talk to.

331
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:55,038
Jim is her husband.

332
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:56,762
Pam: And... and
they're having problems...

333
00:15:56,832 --> 00:15:58,351
No, no, we're not...
And so she comes to me.

334
00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:00,710
We're not having problems,
but it is personal.

335
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,712
And I was... in bed.

336
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:07,634
Yes, yes, I desperately
want to speak with you

337
00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:09,362
about my sex life with Jim.

338
00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,638
Oh, my god, look at how
cheap street-level rooms are.

339
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:14,391
Am I the only person
who enjoys people-watching?

340
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,892
I need you to sign this!

341
00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:18,436
So bad! Okay, weirdo.

342
00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:21,439
I love... this idea is neat.

343
00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:22,565
Yeah. I've never been.

344
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:23,650
It sounds lovely.

345
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,920
Yeah, I think it'll be a nice trip.
We're going to get a lot done.

346
00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,946
You're going to want to
look at the date on that.

347
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:30,824
Oh! Wow. Look at golfing.

348
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:31,950
Are you a golfer?

349
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:33,535
I am, but I gave my clubs away.

350
00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:35,120
Swear too much.

351
00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:40,250
Hey, you okay?

352
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:43,253
Yeah, I just remembered that
I have to go to the bathroom.

353
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,754
Pam? Absolutely.

354
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:50,969
Look, I'm not down anymore, so
if the guys start making fun of you,

355
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:52,929
you've just gotta
stand up for yourself.

356
00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,974
I know. It's just, I'm scared...
Andy: I got your text.

357
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,184
It said, "911."

358
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,019
Glen, could you excuse us?

359
00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:07,027
It's bad. What's bad?

360
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:08,110
It's real bad.

361
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:09,362
Still no plan.

362
00:17:09,613 --> 00:17:11,531
Oh, god. It's getting bigger.

363
00:17:11,615 --> 00:17:15,493
I might have to go public here, but
no one's going to believe me. Uh...

364
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,829
I need proof. I need, like,
a printer to catch on fire.

365
00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:19,539
Yeah. I can videotape it.

366
00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:23,710
There it is.

367
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:24,920
There what is?

368
00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:26,213
What?

369
00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:29,216
Who the hell is this?
Who is this guy?

370
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,759
God! I don't know who it is.

371
00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:32,928
Lowest of the low, that guy.

372
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:34,471
Just a notch above Toby.

373
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,639
You know what? What?

374
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,892
I'm going to kill him.
No, I'm not. I feel... no.

375
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,061
I'm not going to kill him.

376
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,997
You just have to go in there.
You have to hear it from her.

377
00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:45,124
I have to hear it from her. But
you have to settle down first.

378
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:47,776
I need to have her
tell me herself. Okay.

379
00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:48,860
O right? Kay-

380
00:17:48,944 --> 00:17:50,046
yes. I need to have her say...

381
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,714
I need to say, "what the
hell is that? Calm down first.

382
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,049
"What the hell is that?"
Hey, look at this.

383
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:54,241
Look at this baby picture.

384
00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:55,742
Oh, god, no. Oh, my god.

385
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:56,868
Hi, Michael.

386
00:17:56,952 --> 00:17:58,745
Okay. Hi, Michael.

387
00:17:58,828 --> 00:17:59,996
Okay.

388
00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:01,831
Okay.

389
00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:06,253
I talked to corporate. Turns out there
have been 12 reports of faulty printers.

390
00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:07,754
Out of 400,000.

391
00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:10,632
We've investigated. Every
time it's been user error.

392
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,676
They block the vents
or something, I don't know.

393
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,344
That's why we have
the fine print.

394
00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:16,322
Thank you for bringing
this to our attention.

395
00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:17,847
So, I'd like to
reward you for that.

396
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:24,688
That's good for five bucks at
dunkin' donuts. Any dunkin' donuts.

397
00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:39,744
You know what? We should
really do something fun this week.

398
00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:41,204
Yeah. Wouldn't that be fun?

399
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:42,455
Yeah.

400
00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:43,748
How about Thursday?

401
00:18:43,832 --> 00:18:45,000
Thursday works, yeah.

402
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,419
What do you want to do? I
can't do it Thursday, book club.

403
00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:48,878
How about Friday?

404
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,588
Oh! Friday doesn't work.

405
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:54,092
Oh, really? 'Cause I was
thinking we could go to this concert.

406
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:57,679
Spice girls are opening
for weird al. Front row.

407
00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:59,389
Be a great, great concert.

408
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,057
Shoot. I'm working.

409
00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,892
Oh! Okay, well,
maybe I should stop by.

410
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:05,478
Well, won't you
be at the concert?

411
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:06,938
Nope, that's Tuesday.

412
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:08,565
Well, I can make it on Tuesday.

413
00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:10,859
You're cheating.

414
00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:14,154
You're cheating on me.

415
00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:18,450
How do you know?

416
00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:20,285
Pam told me.

417
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,205
Did she see me?

418
00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:25,999
Nice effort.

419
00:19:26,249 --> 00:19:29,294
We're printing on 24-pound
premium stock paper,

420
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:33,048
approximately 300 sheets in.
So far no signs of distress.

421
00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:35,091
You haven't even
introduced yourself. Right.

422
00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:37,677
My name is Andrew baines
Bernard and if you're watching this,

423
00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:40,305
it's because I've turned state's
witness, because I'm in danger,

424
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:41,723
because I know too much.

425
00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:43,075
You should talk
in a higher voice

426
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,684
'cause the camera
makes you sound weird.

427
00:19:44,768 --> 00:19:45,768
Higher, okay?

428
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:48,271
Recently certain events
have come to my attention...

429
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,396
Higher. Make it higher?

430
00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:53,068
Okay. I have come to the
conclusion that the sabre corporation...

431
00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:54,194
One more, yeah.

432
00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:56,756
May be
overlooking certain safety regulations.

433
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,573
At the danger...

434
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:02,065
It's smoking.

435
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,454
I knew it!

436
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:07,665
This...
We are blowing the roof off!

437
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,543
Blowing the roof off!

438
00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:13,713
Nice, nice.

439
00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:16,508
This is my partner,
Darryl philbin.

440
00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:19,052
He's been my partner
through this entire thing.

441
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:21,429
I don't want to prank anymore.

442
00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:24,140
Things get real. It's not funny.

443
00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:27,685
I'm just going to be good.
Stay in my room,

444
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:30,980
go to church, try to do
one nice thing per day.

445
00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:34,651
I do not want to prank anymore.

446
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,237
Who is he?

447
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,697
Wait, what do you mean?
The other man.

448
00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:41,324
Who's the guy? Who is it?

449
00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:44,285
It's you. I'm married.

450
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:48,915
I'm the mistress?

451
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:53,420
Okay, everybody,
let's take this next hill!

452
00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:56,464
Excuse me. Yeah, I 'd appreciate
it if you'd just let me run this.

453
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:58,628
You know what? You had
your chance, you're no leader.

454
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,736
Up, out of your seat! Let's
blast! Don't listen to him.

455
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,555
We 're approaching a
cool-down, down a gentle hill.

456
00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:06,307
No! The hill's a trap. Let's
take the dirt road off to the side.

457
00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:08,226
No, guys, no.
We 're just cooling down.

458
00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:10,228
If they catch us,
they will rape us.

459
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:14,274
Go for the cliff.
And three, two, one, jump!

460
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:17,569
No! You're dead, you're
dead, you're dead. Good jump.

461
00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:21,114
You're barely alive.
Okay, now, nice cool-down.

462
00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:22,198
Check your pulse rate.