1
00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:06,048
There is nothing wrong,
nor will there ever be wrong,

2
00:00:06,132 --> 00:00:08,050
with any sabre printers.

3
00:00:08,134 --> 00:00:09,177
Case closed.

4
00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:10,761
(Phone ringing)

5
00:00:11,721 --> 00:00:13,806
Michael Scott, as seen on TV.

6
00:00:13,890 --> 00:00:17,852
Man on phone: [Saw you on the
news and I want to pinch your tiny wiener.

7
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,437
(Mouths) Oh, my god.

8
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,688
It's packer.

9
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:24,150
Oh! Pac-man,
I thought you were a girl.

10
00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:26,903
Apparently,
there are allegations

11
00:00:26,986 --> 00:00:29,447
that sabre printers
can cause a fire.

12
00:00:29,989 --> 00:00:33,117
So, they asked me to give
a statement to the press.

13
00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:35,953
I'm like, "what? All right."

14
00:00:36,287 --> 00:00:37,663
So, I do it.

15
00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:41,626
It's on TV last night,
and it's in the paper today,

16
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,211
and it's online.

17
00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:47,340
And then I call froggy 98.7,
their request line.

18
00:00:47,423 --> 00:00:49,217
I talked to the host
about it on the air.

19
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:52,011
It's like,
"come on, people, enough."

20
00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:54,597
Everybody, we are at defcon 5.

21
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,850
I am officially the second
most watched clip of the day

22
00:00:57,934 --> 00:00:59,769
on the wbre news site.

23
00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:00,853
What's number one?

24
00:01:00,937 --> 00:01:03,898
Oh? That teacher who was
wrongfully accused of being a pedophile.

25
00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:07,151
Now, we cannot let
the pedophile win again.

26
00:01:07,485 --> 00:01:10,988
I would like you all to go to the
web site and watch my clip 11 times.

27
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:12,632
So, instead of working,
you want... yes.

28
00:01:12,657 --> 00:01:14,033
Okay. Yes.

29
00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,326
Michael: Come on.

30
00:01:16,494 --> 00:01:20,581
Get it up. That's
what... let's do it.

31
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:23,584
Oh! Did you see this report

32
00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:25,503
that the zoo got a baby otter?

33
00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:26,754
It's on the same site.

34
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:29,048
(Chuckles) Aw!
It's kissing its mommy.

35
00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:30,442
Michael: Please.
Michael, you have to see this.

36
00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:32,051
This is, like,
the cutest thing ever.

37
00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:33,719
(Employees laughing)

38
00:01:33,803 --> 00:01:39,016
Really? A baby otter? Okay,
count me in as "who cares?"

39
00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:42,311
It's not even that
interesting, the baby otter.

40
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,730
It can't even stand up.

41
00:01:44,814 --> 00:01:46,440
It's trying to stand up.

42
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:50,861
There he goes.

43
00:02:17,430 --> 00:02:18,848
(Dog barking) Howdy.

44
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,809
I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.

45
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:23,936
Jo, we were not expecting you.

46
00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:25,688
But you all no doubt
know why I'm here.

47
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:28,482
No. Turns out our
printers are famous.

48
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,235
They're all over the news.

49
00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:32,778
It's an interesting story.

50
00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:36,198
Cheap, foreign printers

51
00:02:36,699 --> 00:02:38,409
attacking innocent Americans.

52
00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:42,038
Well, actually the real
story isn't quite as racy.

53
00:02:42,747 --> 00:02:43,831
But

54
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:47,835
let's give it a go.

55
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:50,254
Jo, I think that
I know what happened.

56
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,757
I'm not sure you do, Teddy bear.

57
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:55,134
Well, now I think I might not.

58
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:59,013
Not long ago, we discovered
a defect in one of our printers.

59
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,515
So, we got a software
patch, fixed it right up.

60
00:03:01,599 --> 00:03:02,850
Just like that.

61
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,310
I don't know how it works.

62
00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:07,563
Just as we were about to

63
00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:10,149
send out a letter to
our affected customers,

64
00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:13,736
giving them free toner,
and we keep them happy.

65
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:16,572
But somebody here, they
liked that first story better.

66
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,908
The one where
we lose half our clients

67
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,118
(shouting)
For no damn good reason!

68
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:26,791
Whoever it was who talked to the
press, just come forward, please.

69
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:27,958
Michael: Jo,

70
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:30,009
I can assure you it was
no one in this office.

71
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,837
Can you, now? Absolutely.

72
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,131
Anyone who talked to the
press, please raise your hand.

73
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,010
Put your hand up, Norma rae.

74
00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:41,222
If you say anything,
so help me god,

75
00:03:41,305 --> 00:03:42,945
I'll break off the
temples of your glasses

76
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,517
and stick them in
your eye sockets.

77
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:45,976
An dy: So unfair.

78
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:49,438
Even if I thought that our
printers killed baby seals,

79
00:03:49,522 --> 00:03:51,857
I would not be a whistleblower.

80
00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:55,528
The bernards, for generations,
have silenced whistleblowers.

81
00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:57,571
It's how we made all our money.

82
00:03:57,655 --> 00:03:59,490
Woody Guthrie
wrote a song about us.

83
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:02,243
Old mister Bernard

84
00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:04,078
old mister Bernard

85
00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:07,289
who have you silenced today?

86
00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:10,418
It's a little form.
Says, "I did not do it."

87
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,670
There is no reason for
anyone here to sign this

88
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:15,193
because I know everything there
is to know about these people.

89
00:04:15,548 --> 00:04:17,091
I know when their birthdays are,

90
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:18,652
I know what their
favorite kind of cake is,

91
00:04:18,676 --> 00:04:20,177
I know what color
streamers they like.

92
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:22,739
All that's just birthday
information, Michael.

93
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,266
Yes, yes, but it
shows a bigger picture.

94
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:26,767
Why don't you come with me?

95
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,145
We'll start out with the
honcho, what do you say?

96
00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:30,354
Okay.

97
00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:32,773
When mama was working
as a prison guard,

98
00:04:32,857 --> 00:04:35,901
and something went missing,
she'd ask one question,

99
00:04:36,652 --> 00:04:39,029
"what do we do when
we find the guilty party?"

100
00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:41,157
And if they said,
"come down on them

101
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,326
"with that swift hammer
of justice," innocent.

102
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,496
A clear conscience
don't need no mercy.

103
00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:52,293
But if they said, "officer bessie,
well, they may have had a reason."

104
00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:54,295
Blah, blah, blah, blah...

105
00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:57,882
Well, nine times out of 10,
that's the anus they checked.

106
00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:00,301
So, say we catch
this whistleblower.

107
00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:01,653
What do you think
I should do with them?

108
00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:04,555
We should give them a
one-way ticket to montego bay.

109
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:06,891
Where they keep
all the al-qaeda.

110
00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:12,062
Uh, that's Guantanamo bay. Yes.

111
00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:13,623
You put them in jail
for a long time,

112
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,483
you put them in jail
for as long as you can.

113
00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,234
Well, I guess we're
all right, Michael.

114
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:19,945
I want these people to really
pay. I want them to suffer.

115
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,656
I'd prefer it if they died.

116
00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:23,782
Because it's not right.

117
00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:24,950
Okay. Yeah.

118
00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:27,077
Hey, Dwight. Hey, it guy.

119
00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:29,013
You mind if I get in
there for a second?

120
00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,456
Oh, sure thing, go ahead.

121
00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:34,502
Just... (Groaning)

122
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:35,961
Dwight, what the hell?

123
00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:38,172
Apache persuasion hold,
that's the hell.

124
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,441
What are you doing
to my computer?

125
00:05:39,465 --> 00:05:42,760
The lawyers are searching our
hard drives for information on the leak.

126
00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:44,008
Thanks a lot, big brother.

127
00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:45,179
You're with big brother?

128
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:47,014
Okay, go ahead.
I got nothing to hide.

129
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:48,992
Wait, are they searching
all our computers?

130
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,100
Yeah.

131
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,770
Nick: I already
got to yours, kev.

132
00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:58,776
No, that's cool.
Sometimes I run.

133
00:05:59,652 --> 00:06:01,237
I'm a runner.

134
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,405
Everybody knows it was Andy,

135
00:06:03,489 --> 00:06:07,284
and it is not fair for us all to take
the fall for his big, stupid mouth.

136
00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:09,370
Ridiculous, Angela.

137
00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:11,653
And like I'm going to believe
one of his spurned lovers.

138
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:15,459
Look, he's been complaining
about this for a while. It's not crazy.

139
00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:20,756
(Phyllis scoffs)

140
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,425
Okay, Dwight. Hold that thought.

141
00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:24,569
I don't want to waste your time

142
00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:26,053
and iwouldn't dare waste mine.

143
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,179
I didn't do it.

144
00:06:27,263 --> 00:06:29,181
Now, I don't know
exactly who did it,

145
00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:32,643
but I have a list right here.

146
00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:35,437
You should fire
the following people.

147
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:37,356
Well, I'm inclined
to believe you.

148
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,792
Why would I disparage
a company that has

149
00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:40,317
made me rich beyond
my wildest dreams?

150
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:42,111
Yeah, I noticed
you've had a great year.

151
00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:43,696
Good boy. (Laughing)

152
00:06:43,779 --> 00:06:45,906
You turning that money
into more money?

153
00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:50,578
Are you referring to alchemy?

154
00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:53,181
I don't like to tell a man
what to do with his money,

155
00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:54,683
but if you ain't
investing in property,

156
00:06:54,707 --> 00:06:56,041
then you're dumber than a dummy.

157
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,835
I'm not dumb, I'm smart.

158
00:06:58,002 --> 00:07:00,671
Well, buy property.
That's my advice.

159
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:05,073
Michael: Is there something
that you would like to say to me?

160
00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:08,262
About talking to the
press? Uh, I do... no...

161
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:10,931
I didn't do that. Okay?

162
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,059
Didn't do it.
I don't believe you.

163
00:07:14,143 --> 00:07:17,104
I swear on the graves of my
parents who aren't even dead yet.

164
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,398
That's a little much.
All right, all right.

165
00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:21,066
I don't care.
That's how much, I swear.

166
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:22,651
Okay, I believe you.
I believe you.

167
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:24,528
How come no one's
giving Darryl any crap?

168
00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:26,363
He was more bothered
about it than me.

169
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:32,244
Did you tell anyone
outside of this office

170
00:07:32,828 --> 00:07:34,622
that the printers
were catching on fire?

171
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:37,958
Yeah, I did.

172
00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:39,043
(Sighs)

173
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:40,919
I was talking to
this girl at a bar.

174
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:42,212
Oh, no, no, no.

175
00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,798
I think she could
sense my sadness.

176
00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:48,344
And I found out too late that
she was a copyeditor at the trib.

177
00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:49,428
Oh, my god.

178
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,721
Was she cute?

179
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:53,724
Oh, god, danw.

180
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,977
I basically swore up and down
that none of my employees did it.

181
00:07:57,061 --> 00:07:59,438
And then I find out that
one of my best ones did.

182
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:02,024
And now he's probably
going to get fired for it.

183
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:06,779
And if that is not poetic
justice, I don't know what is.

184
00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:11,533
Sounds like you were as
blind-sided by this as I was.

185
00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:12,618
Yes.

186
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,620
And we didn't find anything
on your computer.

187
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:15,871
Good.

188
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:17,373
Except this.

189
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:22,336
Wow. This is just a mystery
novel that I've been working on.

190
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,922
I know what it is.
I skimmed the first chapter.

191
00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:26,090
I'm just curious,

192
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,175
why would a man who hates people

193
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,886
want to have
a relationship with a maid?

194
00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:33,347
I don't know...
The way I look at it,

195
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,099
there's only one of two reasons.

196
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:38,102
He knows a secret about her
that she doesn't know herself.

197
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:44,149
Or he wants to use her
services to mop up after a murder.

198
00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:45,526
(Exclaims)

199
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:46,777
Yes.

200
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,196
Write your own damn novel.

201
00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:51,365
It was me.

202
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:52,658
What was you?

203
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:56,203
Okay, you were the leak?

204
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:57,766
I'm talking to this
woman at day care,

205
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:01,250
she's telling me all about her
amazing trip to Vietnam. I have nothing.

206
00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:03,961
I tell her our printers
catch on fire spontaneously.

207
00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,188
Why'd you do that?
Her husband's a reporter.

208
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,296
Yeah.

209
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:09,299
So, now everyone hates Andy,
and it's this whole mess,

210
00:09:09,425 --> 00:09:11,593
and I don't know what
to do. Okay, just relax.

211
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:13,846
Just need to relax.

212
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:17,182
I could tell Jo,
or I could tell Michael.

213
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,018
This is a very good idea.
This is good.

214
00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:22,688
Let's get all the bad ideas
out now. Flush them out.

215
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,064
(Whispers) You leaked it?

216
00:09:24,148 --> 00:09:26,567
I don't know what to do.
Do I go tell Jo or...

217
00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,545
I don't want everyone to
keep blaming the wrong person.

218
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,821
I don't know what
the best plan is, Pam.

219
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,323
Oh, god.

220
00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:35,451
My mind is going a mile an hour.

221
00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:36,869
That fast?

222
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:37,995
(Groans)

223
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,873
Two whistleblowers. Two.

224
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:42,851
I always thought Darryl and Pam

225
00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:45,294
might get me fired
for something I said.

226
00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:49,131
Yeah?

227
00:09:57,848 --> 00:09:59,892
I weirdly know exactly
what you're saying to me.

228
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,828
So, I'll see you in
Meredith's Van in five minutes.

229
00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:03,562
Okay, you didn't need
to actually say that.

230
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,483
I have never seen
so many parking tickets.

231
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,610
All right,
this is just messed up.

232
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:11,320
No, you know what's messed up?

233
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:14,615
This situation all up in
here is what's messed up.

234
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,700
We need to brainstorm,
we need to get out of this.

235
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:19,620
Brain-hurricane, come on.
Think. What have we got?

236
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,123
Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.

237
00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:24,287
We're not going for yogurt.

238
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,835
It's okay, she's cool.
She also whistle-blew.

239
00:10:26,919 --> 00:10:29,505
Guys, I couldn't help it. It
is so boring where we work.

240
00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:31,465
I mean, it's as interesting
as a morgue.

241
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:33,467
It might be less interesting
than a morgue.

242
00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,969
Hey, hey, it's as
interesting as a morgue.

243
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,347
Of course I'm the leak.
I think I tweeted it.

244
00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:39,866
I can't control
what I say to people.

245
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:41,050
Ispend the whole day talking.

246
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:45,229
I mean, I video chat, I Skype,
I text, I tweet, I phone, iwoof.

247
00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:46,998
Woof is a site that
I'm launching to be

248
00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:48,649
the last word in
social networking.

249
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,734
Forjust $12.99 a month,
woof links up

250
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:51,878
all your communication portals,

251
00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:53,237
so you are always within reach.

252
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,880
It's part of the dog pack,
as I call it.

253
00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:57,658
But look, why tell you,

254
00:10:57,741 --> 00:11:00,327
when I can show you?

255
00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:02,830
I just sent myself a woof.

256
00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,374
(Dog barking)
(All machines beeping)

257
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,185
Erin on intercom: Ryan,
you have a woof on line one.

258
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:08,669
Thank you, Erin.

259
00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:10,379
Woof!

260
00:11:10,546 --> 00:11:14,633
Okay, here's what we do. I say
we just smash all the computers.

261
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,094
We destroy the evidence.
No evidence, no case.

262
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,471
Wouldn't we get fired for
smashing all the computers?

263
00:11:19,555 --> 00:11:22,683
No, okay, not all the
computers. Just our computers.

264
00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:24,410
That idea sucks. Pam: I
don't think that's a good idea.

265
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,514
Michael: Just don't say no.

266
00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:28,313
Mike, you know you
don't have to turn us all in.

267
00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:31,608
All you need is one scapegoat.

268
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,444
Uh, if you turn me in,
I'm turning in Darryl.

269
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:37,823
That's just what we need, another
black man in prison, you know?

270
00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:40,576
Nobody's going to prison. Okay?

271
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:45,247
All right, Michael, you need to
convince Jo to go easy on us.

272
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:48,041
And then we'll all confess
once we know our jobs are safe.

273
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,502
Okay, you can count on me.

274
00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:54,715
Let me give you a hand.

275
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:56,091
Ready? On three.

276
00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,554
(Cell phone ringing)
Oh, shoot. Got it?

277
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:01,889
Got it.

278
00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:04,308
Dwight schrute.

279
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,286
Realtor: The property
you're looking at is in great shape.

280
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:08,896
By the way, it has a very
spacious basement office.

281
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:12,524
Basement office?
You mean like a lair?

282
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,153
Hey, Jo. Michael.

283
00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:19,031
I was thinking about
our little leak problem.

284
00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:20,341
I was up all lunch
thinking about

285
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:22,200
what we should do
to this individual.

286
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,037
You know what I
think we should do?

287
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:28,582
We make them come to
work. And we work them,

288
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:31,960
and we make them sit next to
all the people they screwed over.

289
00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:34,588
And we pay them,

290
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:39,134
but we make them feel like
they did something really wrong.

291
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,779
The one question I have is, "do
we give them a Christmas bonus?"

292
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:44,306
I say yes, it's Christmas,

293
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:47,684
but right after, they're
back into the thick of it.

294
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,394
Michael Scott.

295
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:52,147
What do you know?

296
00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:54,107
What?

297
00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:56,443
It doesn't matter what I know.

298
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,612
If it doesn't matter,
then tell me. Why?

299
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:01,239
Because I wanna deal with it
the way I deal with it.

300
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:03,116
Well, deal with this.

301
00:13:05,077 --> 00:13:06,954
Empathize with me for a moment.

302
00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:08,622
I came up here
with a big problem,

303
00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:10,582
and now,
I've got a branch manager

304
00:13:10,666 --> 00:13:12,417
who's giving me
the silent treatment.

305
00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:15,253
Speak to me.

306
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:17,631
Speak.

307
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,050
(Barks)

308
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,220
Come with me.

309
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:24,763
What?

310
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:32,145
Are you leaving? Oh, my. Should
I continue with the investigation?

311
00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:47,202
Are you gonna kill me?

312
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:48,662
(Jo laughing)

313
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,269
Realtor: I just need you to
come by later and sign a few forms.

314
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:57,587
Okay. What time works for you?

315
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:01,717
Mr. Schrute? What time works?

316
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:09,266
Cancel it. I want you to make
an offer at 1725 slough Avenue.

317
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:12,227
Make them an offer
they can't refuse.

318
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,771
No, on second thought,
iowball them.

319
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:17,315
Don't call me till you have it.

320
00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:18,442
But...

321
00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:22,084
Michael: Are we going
some place far away?

322
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:24,281
I know you said no questions,

323
00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:29,619
but I have an early dinner
that I need to get to.

324
00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:32,789
With the chief of police.

325
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:35,709
I'm very relieved
to learn it wasn't you.

326
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,087
All right. Stan, you're up.

327
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:40,630
It wasn't me.

328
00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:43,717
What a rich timbre
your voice has.

329
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:47,345
Okay, I am prepared to
conclude theinvesfigafion.

330
00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,474
Andy: And? You did it.

331
00:14:51,183 --> 00:14:53,727
What? Based on what?

332
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:57,731
Just all the evidence. And it
really seems like it was you.

333
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,358
Can we all agree to say
that it was Andy for now

334
00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:02,444
and sit with it,
see how it feels?

335
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,945
All right, sounds good. Okay.

336
00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:05,781
Guys, I think that
seems a little unfair.

337
00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:08,104
I mean, I feel like we don't
definitely know it was Andy.

338
00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:12,746
Yeah, you know? I mean, for all
we know, it could have been Jim.

339
00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:14,623
Really?

340
00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,291
Michael. I have rights.

341
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:17,918
Let's just talk.

342
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,711
I am not going to
tell you anything.

343
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:23,006
Honey, you don't seem
like your normal self.

344
00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:26,360
Well, I'm going through a
little bit of a rough patch.

345
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,386
Mama Jo knew
there was something up.

346
00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:30,347
The whole year, actually.

347
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,141
My favorite restaurant
closed down. Oh.

348
00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:34,768
I hate that.

349
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:37,437
And my new favorite
restaurant sucks.

350
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,234
I bought a video camera lastyear

351
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,027
and I was looking at the tapes,

352
00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:48,198
and there were only, like, 12
minutes that I felt was worth taping.

353
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,825
The whole year.

354
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:52,786
And most of that was just
birds in my condo complex.

355
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:54,454
What is that?

356
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,708
And I miss Holly.

357
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:00,752
Who's Holly?

358
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,672
Holly flax.
From the nashua branch.

359
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,842
Best hr rep that dunder
Mifflin has ever seen.

360
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:12,305
It has not been a blockbuster
year for me financially.

361
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,641
My blockbuster stock is down.

362
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:17,853
I think that
the real question is,

363
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,564
"who is the whistleblower?"

364
00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:22,232
Just_

365
00:16:22,566 --> 00:16:25,110
I may have heard from an old
client and I may have immediately

366
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:28,655
started spreading the news to other
clients and potential clients, yeah.

367
00:16:29,573 --> 00:16:30,967
But I'm not here
to talk about that.

368
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:34,411
I'm here to talk
about suck it. Suck it...

369
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,664
Gabe, I told you all
about the printers.

370
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,107
Jim: I mean,
it could be you, Gabe.

371
00:16:39,291 --> 00:16:40,852
Yes, it's totally obvious.
I mean, that's the point.

372
00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:44,212
I think we all can agree
it's either Gabe or Angela.

373
00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:46,423
It's Angela. Get her, boys.

374
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:49,134
Hey, guys. Sorry to interrupt.

375
00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:50,817
I just wanted to say
goodbye to everyone.

376
00:16:50,886 --> 00:16:52,095
Through teach for america,

377
00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:53,239
I'm going to go down to Detroit

378
00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,182
and teach inner-city kids
about computers.

379
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:57,243
Not now. Nick: Yeah,
it's just that my friends

380
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,311
are in the car waiting,
so I thought I'd...

381
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,771
(Whispering) Phyllis, what's
this guy's name again?

382
00:17:01,897 --> 00:17:05,192
I don't know. Is it shadow or
garth? It's something weird, I...

383
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,443
My name is Nick.

384
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:09,362
Okay, well, "Nick,"
we're in a meeting.

385
00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:13,742
Okay, look, I get it, people. I'm the
lame it guy and everybody hates me.

386
00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:15,957
Hey, listen, man, you
can't take it personally.

387
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,121
You call me "man"?
I just said my name,

388
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,831
just now. Did you
forget it already?

389
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,126
Spofl.

390
00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:26,421
You guys have 15 parties a
week. You can't learn my name?

391
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,924
Hey, hey, hey, it guy.

392
00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:30,258
Here's the story, champ.

393
00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:32,278
None of us have spent a lot of
time getting to know you, okay?

394
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:35,847
We liked the last guy, sadiq,
because he kept to himself.

395
00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:37,742
And we also thought he
might have been a terrorist.

396
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,827
You know what? I'm going to
leave you with one other thought.

397
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:43,396
Inner-city kids use computers
for two things, games and porn.

398
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,233
So, goodluck
wasting your life, lurch.

399
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,776
Thank you so much for that.

400
00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:49,861
I saw all of your hard
drives. And guess what?

401
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:53,406
You're not a photographer. And
you definitely can't fit into a size two.

402
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,075
Darryl, man, you're on Facebook.

403
00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:57,094
Why have you been telling
people you're not on Facebook?

404
00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:58,958
People want to be your
friend, man. Kelly: Hey.

405
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:01,498
All right? And you... this guy.

406
00:18:01,665 --> 00:18:02,808
You're the one
who told the press.

407
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,167
You wrote
an e-mail to the editor.

408
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:06,253
I saw it and I also
saw a quicktime movie

409
00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:08,713
of your little printer fire
test on your hard drive.

410
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:12,008
This guy's the snitch, he's the
snitch. So, that's it. Check it out.

411
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,680
We're going to believe that guy?

412
00:18:17,639 --> 00:18:19,266
When I was growing up,

413
00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:23,019
there was nothing better than
being a big old business tycoon.

414
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,981
And I thought I'd
break that glass ceiling

415
00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:29,276
and be a hero to all
those little girls out there.

416
00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:32,279
And they'd make
a Barbie out of me.

417
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:33,488
(Chuckles casually)

418
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:37,117
I hate that
I sell cheap printers.

419
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:39,369
I do.

420
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,622
But if I have to go out
there in front of the press

421
00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:45,917
and make one of them
public apology recalls,

422
00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:50,505
I mean, that's all I'll
ever be remembered for.

423
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:53,216
Nobody will want to
play with my Barbie.

424
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:55,593
(Clicks tongue)

425
00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:57,971
Well, you know,
I would be willing,

426
00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,639
under the right circumstances,

427
00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:01,266
to do that for you.

428
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:04,644
Oh, honey, surely
you don't want that.

429
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,855
(Clicks tongue)

430
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:09,649
I surely do,
and don't call me honey.

431
00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:12,944
(Both laughing)

432
00:19:16,031 --> 00:19:17,324
Airplane ll.

433
00:19:17,574 --> 00:19:19,659
I'm about to buy
this building, you know?

434
00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:22,787
You don't say.

435
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:26,333
I own a one-eighth share in a
rental property down in pittston.

436
00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:29,127
Well, I'm one-eighths
proud of you.

437
00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:32,756
Enjoy that chair for now.

438
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:37,218
'Cause pretty soon you
will be on your feet.

439
00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,346
Like Buckingham Palace.

440
00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:46,436
Hey, Phyllis,
have you seen my bag?

441
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:49,773
You deserve it.

442
00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:53,360
Andy: Look, ldidn't want
houses and schools

443
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,820
to burn down
and children to die.

444
00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:58,948
Does that make me a hero?

445
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:00,909
Kevin: No, it does not.

446
00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:05,997
Well, it doesn't make me the
worst guy in the world, either.

447
00:20:06,081 --> 00:20:07,290
Angela: It does!

448
00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:11,669
Hey. Andy?

449
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:16,925
I wanted to say that I think it was
very brave of you to go to the press.

450
00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:25,725
Thanks.

451
00:20:26,518 --> 00:20:28,311
Yeah, you know.

452
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,564
Just seemed like
the right thing to do.

453
00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:32,649
Yeah.

454
00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:40,031
"We at sabre have
betrayed the trust

455
00:20:40,115 --> 00:20:42,242
"that we have built
with our customers.

456
00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:46,413
"We regret our slow response and
our lapse in candor and judgment.

457
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:51,960
"At this time, we are issuing a full
recall of all sabre gh400 printers.

458
00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:55,130
"We will not rest until
this problem is solved.

459
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:58,550
"There will be no questions."
Are there any questions?

460
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:07,434
Hey, I appreciate you reading that
statement. You looked pretty up there.

461
00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:08,726
That was fun.

462
00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:10,603
I hope your rough patch
ends soon.

463
00:21:10,687 --> 00:21:12,021
Thanks. Today helped.

464
00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:15,191
Well, give a shout
if I can brighten your life.

465
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:18,528
Okay. Hey, you could transfer
Holly back from nashua.

466
00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:22,490
Let me see what I can do.