1 00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:03,796 Look at that, huh? Nice! 2 00:00:04,088 --> 00:00:05,590 I love cycling. 3 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,466 Andy, I feel like a tourist in my own city. 4 00:00:07,550 --> 00:00:09,236 I literally can't wait to wake up every morning. 5 00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:10,887 Okay. She is a beaut. 6 00:00:10,970 --> 00:00:13,389 Can't beat a horse. A horse is a bike that pedals itself. 7 00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:14,599 Yes, it is. 8 00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:15,725 Look at that, smooth roll. 9 00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:17,101 Yeah. Kevin: You got it! 10 00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:18,227 Lance Armstrong's bike. 11 00:00:18,311 --> 00:00:19,311 Yes! 12 00:00:19,395 --> 00:00:22,481 His ass was on that seat? All right! Kevin: Nice. 13 00:00:22,565 --> 00:00:24,205 No, Meredith, it's not his actual bicycle. 14 00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:26,861 But it is the same exact model he uses. 15 00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:28,744 I'm on sheryl crow's side in that whole thing, 16 00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:30,489 so I feel really weird right now. 17 00:00:30,615 --> 00:00:31,991 Pam: Michael! Michael: Oh, god! 18 00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:35,161 Yes, I can ride a bike. 19 00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:37,872 I take spinning classes three times a month. 20 00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:39,957 I think I know how to ride a bike. 21 00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:41,518 Are you sure you once knew how to do this? 22 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:42,835 I did, yes! 23 00:00:42,919 --> 00:00:46,756 I had those extra wheels on the back that support you. 24 00:00:46,839 --> 00:00:48,633 (Chanting) Michael! Michael! 25 00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:49,985 All: (Chanting) Michael! Michael! 26 00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:51,010 Michael! Michael! 27 00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:52,178 Michael! Michael! 28 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:53,262 Michael! Yeah! 29 00:00:53,346 --> 00:00:54,388 All right! Pam: Yeah! 30 00:00:54,472 --> 00:00:55,472 Just steer more now. 31 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:56,557 Oh, my god! 32 00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:58,142 Not the car! No, no. 33 00:00:58,226 --> 00:00:59,477 (Grunting) 34 00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:04,732 You never forget. 35 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,067 (Whooping) 36 00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,090 (Exhales) 37 00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:31,384 How do I look? 38 00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:32,760 Amazing. How do I look? 39 00:01:33,678 --> 00:01:35,221 Normal. Ugly. 40 00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,723 Well, I do the best with what I've got. 41 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:39,600 Let's go. All right. 42 00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:43,938 Wait, wait, wait, wait for me. It's weird if I come in slightly after. 43 00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:47,984 We have a big meeting with the chief buyer for frames select, Steve Nash. 44 00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:50,027 He's not "the" Steve Nash. He's... 45 00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:52,172 He's big, though. He's kind of like Scranton's Steve Nash. 46 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:54,758 Will you stop trying to put it in terms you think they'll understand? 47 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:55,783 It's condescending. 48 00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,535 I'm not doing that. I'm just explaining. 49 00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,204 And who is this "the" Steve Nash? 50 00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:02,373 Phoenix suns' point guard? 51 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,791 No? Nothing? No. 52 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,793 No, Mr. Jock hipster. 53 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:08,587 Well, I'm neither of those things, so... 54 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:10,881 Oh ho. 55 00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:12,967 Libby dirketts got married. 56 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,845 Big, red mazel tov to the libster. 57 00:02:16,429 --> 00:02:17,430 Ooh. 58 00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:20,474 It says here Dan Becker fell off the side of Kilimanjaro 59 00:02:20,558 --> 00:02:21,851 in a climbing accident. 60 00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:23,811 It appears Dan's sherpa survived 61 00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,563 to tell the tale... oh, my god! 62 00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:26,981 What? Is Dan okay? 63 00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:28,691 No, he died. 64 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,359 It's broccoli Rob. 65 00:02:30,443 --> 00:02:32,643 You know this guy. I showed you his picture on Facebook. 66 00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:34,405 Yes. 67 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:39,076 "Some Vermont-based alums can hear 'broccoli' Rob blatt, '96, 68 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:42,413 "in the state milk lobby's new milk awareness song calci-yum, 69 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,582 "featu ring phish's Trey anastasio. 70 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:47,335 "Says broccoli, 'Trey and I had a ton of fun in the studio, 71 00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:49,021 and I think you can hear it in the song."' 72 00:02:49,045 --> 00:02:50,755 oh, that's great news for your friend. 73 00:02:51,756 --> 00:02:53,174 Yeah. Yeah. It's great. 74 00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:56,260 You know, I forget about milk. This is a terrific reminder. 75 00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:02,433 I was the artsy musical one. 76 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:06,354 In here comes treble, I had four solos, broccoli Rob had three. 77 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:07,688 Right? 78 00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:09,940 (Grunts) 79 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,571 Go tell her we're here. You're good with receptionists. Ha. 80 00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:19,367 Dwight. 81 00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:25,414 Crap. 82 00:03:26,749 --> 00:03:28,250 Danny cordray is the worst. 83 00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:29,668 Well, by worst, you mean the best. 84 00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:31,587 The best salesman ever. 85 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,381 He works for osprey paper over in throop, 86 00:03:33,464 --> 00:03:35,442 steals more clients from dunder Mifflin than anyone. 87 00:03:35,466 --> 00:03:37,093 So the situation is the worst. 88 00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:38,552 Also, he slept with Pam. 89 00:03:38,636 --> 00:03:40,137 No, he didn't. 90 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:46,185 Tell them. Nothing happened. 91 00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:49,355 We went on a couple of dates. He never called me again. 92 00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:52,066 What? He never called you? I thought you said it just fizzled. 93 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,652 That's fizzling. I mean, someone has to start the fizzle. 94 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:55,986 Yeah, I thought you started it. 95 00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:57,905 No, I liked him. 96 00:03:57,988 --> 00:03:59,949 For a couple of days. 97 00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,575 Four years ago. 98 00:04:03,369 --> 00:04:04,995 You know I have a kid with you, right? 99 00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:06,330 Aah! 100 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:10,584 I'm gonna intimidate him. Okay? 101 00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:11,710 Okay, great. 102 00:04:11,794 --> 00:04:13,421 I'm just gonna watch. Watch this. 103 00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:16,632 So anyway, she says, "that is the biggest penis I have ever seen." 104 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:17,925 And I said, "I know. 105 00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:20,010 "That's why I brought you to the penis museum, 106 00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:23,597 "where tickets are $1,000." Well, hello, Danny. 107 00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:26,600 Hey, Dwight. Good to see you. Jim, hey. 108 00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:27,810 How are you? I'm good. 109 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:29,270 What are you doing? 110 00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:30,713 Well, I'm just here for the coffee. 111 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,982 Like hell you are. Dwight! 112 00:04:33,399 --> 00:04:35,279 He's not just here for the coffee, Jim. Wake up. 113 00:04:36,861 --> 00:04:38,946 Brainstorming session is now open. 114 00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:41,657 (Cell phone ringing) Anyone has an idea... hold on. 115 00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,702 Sorry, sorry, sorry. Hello? 116 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:47,913 Hey, it's Jim. Listen, this is important. Are you busy? 117 00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:49,582 Oh, hey. No, I'm not busy. What's up? 118 00:04:49,665 --> 00:04:51,375 You are busy! We're in a meeting! What? 119 00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:53,544 It's Jim, okay? Yes. 120 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:54,813 Listen, you gotta get over here, 121 00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:55,981 'cause we're pitching Steve Nash 122 00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:57,339 and Danny cordray's here. 123 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,258 You need the big guns, yes? 124 00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:00,759 Yes. What'd he say? 125 00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:02,720 What did he say? The big gun thing. Stop. 126 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,181 I will see you in 10. Bye! Hold tight. 127 00:05:06,182 --> 00:05:07,183 (Exhales) 128 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,310 Well, I know a lot of you thought 129 00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:11,061 that my sales days were behind me. 130 00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,271 And, to be honest, so did I. 131 00:05:13,022 --> 00:05:15,316 And the only reason I got out of the sales game 132 00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:17,109 was to be reluctantly called back in. 133 00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:19,904 You don't look reluctant, Michael. You look really eager. 134 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:23,616 No, I don't have time for this. Are you kidding me? 135 00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:26,035 Pam: You don't? No! Okay. All right. 136 00:05:28,621 --> 00:05:30,706 Knockity-knock, don't knock back 137 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:33,751 just kidding, you can knock. It's your office. Do you have a minute? 138 00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:36,504 I'm very busy with time-sensitive work. 139 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,465 Not to go all Sherlock Holmes on you, 140 00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,151 but I can tell by the reflection in your glasses 141 00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:43,511 that you're entering points into weightwatchers.Com. 142 00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:46,680 If you don't enter them immediately, you forget. 143 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:48,556 What? 144 00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:51,769 I'm starting a band, and I need you on keyboards. 145 00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:53,062 Nah! 146 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,355 I play for pleasure. 147 00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:55,814 This is for pleasure. 148 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,608 Wouldn't enjoy that. 149 00:05:57,775 --> 00:05:58,817 I'm willing to pay you. 150 00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:00,569 Oh, yeah? Yeah. 151 00:06:00,653 --> 00:06:02,363 How much? 60 bucks a session. 152 00:06:02,446 --> 00:06:03,989 That's crazy money. 153 00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:05,073 I'll take 40. 154 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,116 Yes! 155 00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:08,953 There he is. 156 00:06:10,246 --> 00:06:11,830 Oh, no, that's a male model. 157 00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,874 No, that's him. That_ 158 00:06:15,334 --> 00:06:16,460 Hello. 159 00:06:17,628 --> 00:06:19,314 Michael Scott, dunder Mifflin paper company. 160 00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:20,464 Danny cordray, osprey paper. 161 00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:21,632 Nice to meet you. 162 00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:23,527 Three of you guys for one sale? 163 00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:25,970 Yeah, well... We call it overkill. 164 00:06:26,095 --> 00:06:28,013 (Chuckles) Why am I telling you my strategy? 165 00:06:28,264 --> 00:06:30,307 Well, whatever works for you. 166 00:06:30,683 --> 00:06:31,892 Anyway, all right. All right. 167 00:06:31,976 --> 00:06:33,161 Good to see you guys. Nice to meet you. 168 00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:34,270 Goodbye. 169 00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:36,480 I could swear that guy was a male model. 170 00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:37,565 He's ready for you. 171 00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:38,649 Oh! Thank you. 172 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,985 All right. On the count of three, it's show time. 173 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,708 Ready, one, two... No, I'm not doing that. 174 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,172 I've been in show time mode since breakfast. 175 00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:45,715 You're not? Okay, all right, just forget it then. 176 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,575 Show time! It's show time! 177 00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,577 Never mind. Let's go. 178 00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:52,204 When I knock on your door, you know who it is. 179 00:06:52,288 --> 00:06:53,497 It's Michael Scott. 180 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,249 We've been together forever, and... 181 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:57,293 Michael, I appreciate everything 182 00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:59,420 that dunder Mifflin has done for this company. 183 00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:02,339 You know what? You are having some problems with your loading dock. 184 00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:06,260 Are you not? All right, we're going to deliver to you on weekends. 185 00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:07,845 That's very generous, but... 186 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,763 And you know what else we're gonna do? 187 00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:11,199 I can't believe I'm gonna say this. 188 00:07:11,223 --> 00:07:13,934 We are going to offer you our paper at cost. 189 00:07:14,018 --> 00:07:15,144 I know. 190 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:16,871 I could get in a lot of trouble for this, 191 00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:17,956 so you'd better shake my hand right now. 192 00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:18,980 He's not kidding. 193 00:07:19,023 --> 00:07:20,024 Shake it, shake it! 194 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,307 Michael, I'm going with Danny. 195 00:07:23,027 --> 00:07:24,028 Thanks for coming in. 196 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:25,779 Okay. Thank you. 197 00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:27,031 Thank you. 198 00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,743 Jim talked too much. No, I didn't. 199 00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:32,620 Yes, you did. Stop it. Just stop it. 200 00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:36,040 We did what we should have done. We just got bested. 201 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,060 Why is there a door close button 202 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,419 if it doesn't even close the door? 203 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,381 How do I feel about losing the sale? 204 00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:48,093 It's like if Michael Phelps came out of retirement, 205 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:51,513 jumped in the pool, belly-flopped and drowned. 206 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,141 You know who we always lose out to? 207 00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:56,560 Staples, the big guys... 208 00:07:56,894 --> 00:08:00,439 Osprey? They're a small company. They're smaller than we are. 209 00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:03,359 What's our excuse? How do we combat this guy? 210 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:04,892 Stanley, how do we combat him? 211 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:06,028 We sell better? 212 00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:07,821 Okay. You know what? 213 00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:10,741 You clearly don't care, so why don't you just leave? 214 00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,951 I would like to stay. This pertains to me. 215 00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:14,828 Why don't you go outside 216 00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:17,331 and take a shot of Insulin and have a nap, okay? 217 00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:19,333 Why do you always assume I have diabetes? 218 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,126 I don't know. Your frame, your build. 219 00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,604 Why don't you have a glass of apple juice 220 00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:24,922 and tell me you're not a diabetic? (Grunts) 221 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,840 See? I could tell by the sound you made 222 00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:28,300 when you stood up that you have... 223 00:08:28,384 --> 00:08:29,760 Okay. Yes, Phyllis? 224 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:30,969 I could try to seduce him. 225 00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:32,388 Oh, my god! 226 00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:34,890 I know how we can learn his tricks. 227 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:38,686 What I'm about to show you is of the utmost secrecy. 228 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:40,854 Is that your office? 229 00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:41,938 Yes, Jim. 230 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:44,261 And with a little tweaking, it becomes a different office. 231 00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:47,611 We lure Danny to it and watch him sell. Phyllis: Oh. 232 00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:49,363 I'm out of here. This is weird. 233 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,532 You know what this is? This is a stinger. 234 00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,033 A what? 235 00:08:53,117 --> 00:08:54,201 Like the movie. 236 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,161 I think you mean the sting. 237 00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:58,056 Paul Newman, Robert redford. They're bank robbers? 238 00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,307 Nope. Different movie. It's called the stinger. 239 00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:00,666 The sting. 240 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,381 Your 2:00. 241 00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:08,716 Thanks, hon. 242 00:09:09,425 --> 00:09:10,968 Meredith was the perfect choice 243 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,137 to play the head of the company. 244 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,281 Her lunch break lined up with our appointment with Danny, 245 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,599 and... that's it. 246 00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,643 That's really all we were looking for. 247 00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:21,353 Danny cordray. It's great to meet you. 248 00:09:21,437 --> 00:09:22,956 Meredith Van Helsing. Pleased to meet you. 249 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:24,606 Meredith Van Helsing? 250 00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:26,233 Van Helsing was a respected professor 251 00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:27,651 before he was a vampire killer. 252 00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,695 Okay. But what is he more famous for? Shh. 253 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,574 (Whispers) Hey! That's my mug. 254 00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:35,075 You know this isn't real TV, right? 255 00:09:35,159 --> 00:09:36,577 (Whispers) Yes. 256 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,997 Please, Mr. President 257 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,083 if you wanna give hope a whirl 258 00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:45,919 bring our troops home safe and sound 259 00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:48,046 says this little girl 260 00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,592 please, Mr. President 261 00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:53,486 wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. 262 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:56,513 So, the song is from the point of view of a little girl? 263 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,182 Yeah. But you're singing it. 264 00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,767 Yeah. But I'm using my falsetto. 265 00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:02,519 No, that's not a good idea. I don't see it as a very good song. 266 00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,313 Yeah, well, it'd sound a lot better 267 00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:06,106 if you actually sang with some soul. 268 00:10:06,482 --> 00:10:08,192 I never sing with soul. That's a lie. 269 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,359 I could sing it. 270 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,695 I just was hoping to maybe save your voice 271 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:13,781 in case we did a novelty song about frogs. 272 00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:17,034 But my voice is unique. Like Bob Dylan. 273 00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:18,577 Okay, three-way argument 274 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,370 between a drummer, a keyboardist, 275 00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,122 and the front man, lead singer. 276 00:10:22,748 --> 00:10:24,708 Wonder who's gonna win this one. 277 00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:27,044 Two, three, four... 278 00:10:27,211 --> 00:10:29,171 I'm gonna take off my coat, if you don't mind. 279 00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,507 It's just a bit warm in here. 280 00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:35,469 Hello! 281 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,054 No, no, no. Don't. 282 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,199 People can't keep their true natures hidden for long, 283 00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:40,974 and this guy is smoldering like a tire fire. 284 00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:42,059 Testify. 285 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,435 Okay, he's not that good-looking. 286 00:10:43,519 --> 00:10:44,662 I don't understand why everybody's... 287 00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,039 Yeah, he is that good-looking. Okay? 288 00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,314 He's very, very handsome. 289 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,817 That's a great set of shoulders you got there. 290 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:52,152 What is that, genetics? 291 00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:53,278 Creatine? 292 00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:54,363 (Phone ringing) 293 00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:55,531 Sorry. 294 00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:58,242 Yeah. Pull it together, all right? 295 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,118 Stop looking at him. 296 00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:01,537 I'm sorry. 297 00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:05,391 You're here to sell me some paper. 298 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:09,503 Well, actually, no, miss Van Helsing, that's not why I'm here. 299 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:13,423 I'm here to meet you, see if we'd be a, you know, good fit. 300 00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:14,550 What do you mean? 301 00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:18,220 Oh, my god! He's making her sell to him. 302 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:21,473 Bring our troops home safe and sound 303 00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:23,600 says this little girl 304 00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:26,603 okay. Honest feedback time. Oscar. 305 00:11:26,812 --> 00:11:30,023 That's pandering. And it makes me think you think I'm stupid. 306 00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,109 But do you think it could be famous? 307 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,672 Like in a car commercial or something? 308 00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,112 Not really. 309 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,239 It's kind of weird that a grown man is singing 310 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,408 from the point of view of a little girl. Mmm-hmm. 311 00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:41,994 I feel like I can see someone ice skating to it, 312 00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,871 you know, like in the Olympics. 313 00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:48,584 I don't think they usually skate to such bad songs. 314 00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:51,503 Rude. And not helpful. 315 00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:53,505 Well, I really, really, really liked it. 316 00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:56,466 Well, that really bums me out. 317 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:58,719 You're welcome. 318 00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:01,555 Well, you should think of this as a first date. (Laughs) 319 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,932 And I think it's going very well. How about you? 320 00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:05,434 Real well. 321 00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:08,812 Feels more like a third date to me. 322 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,564 (Phone ringing) (Laughs) There you go! 323 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,483 Stay... Shut up and let me do this! 324 00:12:15,319 --> 00:12:18,780 You know, what is with this desk keeping us so far apart? 325 00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:20,657 I've never been a desk man. 326 00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:24,411 Always traveling on the road. Come on... why not? Uh? 327 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,872 Well, we'll get this... 328 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,127 Oh, man. So, what's your drink? 329 00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:34,755 You a vodka man? Me, too. 330 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:37,140 We gotta get someone else in there right now. 331 00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:39,051 You're an exec at Pennsylvania solartech. 332 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,260 That sounds fake. 333 00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:41,404 What do you mean? I told you. 334 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,263 You're an exec at stark industries, 335 00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:44,824 a corporation you inherited from your father. 336 00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:46,224 Will you stop? Here's the story. 337 00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:48,068 They need Meredith somewhere else asap, okay? 338 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,203 Okay. So you're taking over. 339 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,997 You just gotta get her out of there as soon as you can. 340 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:52,564 I can do that. Then what? 341 00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:53,732 Then make him pitch to you. 342 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:54,918 You gotta see what he's got. Yes. 343 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,377 Exactly. You can do this. Okay, and remember. 344 00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:57,611 You're not gay. 345 00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:58,854 Stop it. It's gonna be great. 346 00:12:58,904 --> 00:13:01,865 Listen, if anything else happens, just roll with it. 347 00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:05,202 Meredith, I... 348 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,286 Manuel. 349 00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:09,915 This is Manuel, my cleaning man. He doesn't speak any English. 350 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:14,711 (Speaking Spanish) 351 00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:17,547 Manuel, cleano El window. 352 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:18,840 Give me the... 353 00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:19,925 Who else we got? 354 00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:25,055 Okay. You're a young hotshot from stark industries. 355 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,140 You've just bought this company. Meredith is fired. 356 00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:29,643 It's a whole new regime. He's gotta pitch to you now. 357 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:31,645 Okay, stark industries isn't real. 358 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:32,896 I run Google. 359 00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:34,749 Larry and sergey brought me... Great. Sounds awesome. 360 00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:36,573 Just have him pitch to you. Don't let us down. 361 00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,110 Will do. Won't do. 362 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,528 Yeah, sure. 363 00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:40,946 You smell like a scorpio. 364 00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:44,157 This is Esteban, another cleaning man. 365 00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:46,535 He doesn't speak English either. 366 00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:48,578 Esteban, El flooro. 367 00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:58,714 You know what? I may have parked my car in a compact space, 368 00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:00,477 and I hate when I see others do that, so... 369 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,092 Danny, I feel a real connection to you, 370 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,385 and I got to get real. 371 00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:04,469 Jim: No. No, no, no. 372 00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:05,571 Michael: No, no, no, no, no! 373 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:06,823 I'm going in! I'm going in! Michael! 374 00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,265 No, Michael, stop it! No! 375 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:09,808 Stop, stop! Oh, my god! 376 00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:12,394 Okay. Stop it, stop it, stop it. 377 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,105 Gross! Stop it, please. Everybody stop. 378 00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:16,690 Michael Scott. 379 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:17,816 I said stop. 380 00:14:19,443 --> 00:14:20,902 Okay, Danny, 381 00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,888 this is not Pennsylvania solartech. 382 00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,948 This is dunder Mifflin paper company. 383 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,366 This is Meredith Palmer. 384 00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,011 Pleased to meet you. Don't... stay away from him. 385 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,662 Please, just leave. Get out of here. Go. Forever. 386 00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:31,913 Hmm. 387 00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:35,250 I owe you a most sincere and humble apology. 388 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:38,295 We were trying to watch you to see your sales technique 389 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,297 so we could stop losing so many clients to you. 390 00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:41,882 Watch from where? 391 00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:43,467 A surveillance room next to this one. 392 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,470 Okay, so you set up this fake company, 393 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,806 then you hired this homeless woman to impersonate an executive, 394 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:53,643 to spy on me so that you could copy my sales technique. 395 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:55,687 Yes. And it's the sincerest form of flattery. 396 00:14:56,313 --> 00:14:57,314 Or crazy. 397 00:14:57,606 --> 00:14:58,732 Well... I'm gonna go. 398 00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,901 Okay. You know what, it wasn't just me. 399 00:15:01,151 --> 00:15:03,236 Jim and Dwight are behind that wall 400 00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:05,906 in the surveillance room, and it was their plan, as well. 401 00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,157 No, no, no, no. 402 00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:08,729 Well, then, yeah. All right, hey! 403 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,660 Good luck, guys! 404 00:15:10,786 --> 00:15:12,221 Seems like you got a great operation here. 405 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,748 No, we don't. Here's... here's my point. 406 00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:18,168 Danny, listen, you have to understand 407 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,961 that we are not normally like this. 408 00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,756 We just... we wanted to know your tricks. 409 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,692 What do you mean, tricks? There's no tricks, man. 410 00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:27,320 I'm just a good salesman. You wanna copy that? You can't copy that! 411 00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:30,764 You are, you are. You are! Stop it, stop it. Stop. 412 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:31,932 You are a good salesman. 413 00:15:32,516 --> 00:15:34,392 And because of that 414 00:15:35,519 --> 00:15:36,728 I want you to work for me. 415 00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:38,688 Sure. You seem like a fun, professional guy. 416 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,023 So you will. No! 417 00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:41,650 Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold on. 418 00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:44,694 Hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. 419 00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:47,364 Danny, I want you to look at me. (Sighs) 420 00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:49,991 Do you want your life to be better 421 00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:51,743 or to be worse or to stay the same? 422 00:15:52,077 --> 00:15:53,596 Get out of my way. Answer the question. 423 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,080 Do you want a better life, Danny? 424 00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:56,957 I swear to god, I'm gonna hit you. 425 00:15:58,542 --> 00:16:00,752 I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. I'm not... 426 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,230 It's just, I'm very upset right now. I know. 427 00:16:02,254 --> 00:16:03,356 I'm very upset! I know, I know. 428 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:06,883 Do you want more freedom, less freedom, or to stay the same? 429 00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:10,720 More freedom. I can give you more money. 430 00:16:11,054 --> 00:16:12,472 There's your better life. 431 00:16:12,556 --> 00:16:14,683 I can let you come and go as you please. 432 00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:16,476 There's your freedom. 433 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:17,978 And you already know dunder Mifflin 434 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:20,147 has the best service and the best prices. 435 00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:22,274 But you beat us anyway. (Chuckles) 436 00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:26,444 Can you imagine how well you would do selling our stuff? 437 00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:32,325 Everyone, may I have your attention? 438 00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:35,579 I would like to introduce you to Mr. Danny cordray. 439 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:39,749 He's going to be joining us as our new traveling salesman. 440 00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:41,334 Say hello to Danny! 441 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,128 (Bleep) Me. 442 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:45,046 Okay. You know what? 443 00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:47,007 No. No. 444 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:50,719 This is not some sort of construction site, or all of Italy 445 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,962 where you can just go around treating people like meat. 446 00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,598 We are to respect him. 447 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:58,935 I respect him because he reminds me of somebody. 448 00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,270 Can anybody guess who that is? 449 00:17:00,604 --> 00:17:01,604 Josh duhamel. 450 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:02,731 Yeah, I can see that! 451 00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:05,442 No. No. No. Somebody in this office. 452 00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,611 He's like a better-looking Andy. 453 00:17:07,903 --> 00:17:08,904 Thanks, Kevin. 454 00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:10,780 No. Me. Right? 455 00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:14,201 Sort of like a little, younger version of me. 456 00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,786 It's hard to judge ourselves accurately, isn't it? 457 00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:17,954 Michael. Yes. 458 00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:19,724 Can I talk to you about something? No, you may not. 459 00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:21,350 It's about this very announcement you just made. 460 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,001 I said no. Michael... 461 00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:24,437 Michael, I think you really want to talk to him. 462 00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:27,172 Okay, let's... all right, all right. Let's talk. 463 00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:28,399 Please don't let him leave. Don't leave. 464 00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:29,424 Got you. 465 00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:30,884 You hired him? 466 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,028 Guys, let me ask you something. 467 00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:34,763 Do you want your life to be better or worse or stay the same? 468 00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:35,972 All: Stay the same. 469 00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:38,975 Okay. Well, get ready, 'cause it's gonna get better. 470 00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:41,853 It's not gonna get better. He's gonna steal all of our clients. 471 00:17:41,937 --> 00:17:43,396 No. No. Wrong. 472 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,232 He would have stolen your clients, 473 00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:46,983 but you know what? He can't now. 474 00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:49,110 This guy used to steal sales from us. 475 00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:51,321 Now he's going to steal sales for us. 476 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,406 Where's he gonna sit? There's no more seats. 477 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,218 He doesn't need to sit. He's a traveling salesman. 478 00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:58,078 Look, I am not going to exclude good people from our staff 479 00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:00,372 simply because they are threatening to you. 480 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,308 And unless you have a better argument than that, 481 00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:03,667 isuggestyouleave. 482 00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:05,335 Yeah. 483 00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:08,505 Where's he gonna park? There's no more reserved parking spots. 484 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:09,839 Goodbye! 485 00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,762 Songs about truth. Yeah. 486 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:17,555 What's something you really care about? 487 00:18:18,682 --> 00:18:19,808 Reverse snobbery. 488 00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:21,017 More universal. 489 00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:23,937 Sometimes I feel like life has passed me by. 490 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:29,192 Couldn't get out of bed today 491 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,945 wish the alarm clock would go away 492 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,071 nice! 493 00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,489 Holy crap. Are you kidding me? 494 00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,008 You just made that... That's amazing. 495 00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:37,075 Go ahead. 496 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,536 Which me am I gonna be today? 497 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,913 Which me am I gonna be today? 498 00:18:41,997 --> 00:18:44,374 I got a closet full of mes ha ha! 499 00:18:45,417 --> 00:18:48,336 Am I gonna be the happy me? 500 00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:50,839 Or the me that stinks? 501 00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:53,717 Oh, my gosh. We're almost out of time. 502 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,176 How much for another half hour? 503 00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:57,137 Don't worry about it. 504 00:18:58,013 --> 00:19:00,140 Yeah. Vvah. Sehousw? 505 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,851 So we're just, like, jamming as friends? 506 00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:05,520 One, two, three, hit it. 507 00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:07,731 Closet full of mes... 508 00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:12,152 Oh, you know, funny, your wife and I went on a few dates. 509 00:19:13,028 --> 00:19:14,779 Did you? Yeah, way, way, way back. 510 00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:16,215 I'm just kidding. She told me about it. 511 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:18,783 Good. She was not into me. 512 00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:20,243 Obviously. Oh. 513 00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:21,890 I don't even think she called me back. 514 00:19:22,037 --> 00:19:23,955 You snubbed her. Dwight, please. 515 00:19:24,039 --> 00:19:27,709 Let me handle this, Jim. Drop the act, cordray. Okay? 516 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,377 We all know that you probably thought 517 00:19:29,461 --> 00:19:32,922 that Pam was too "meh" or thin without being toned. 518 00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:34,317 But I wanna tell you something. 519 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,676 She is one of the plain, hearty women of Scranton 520 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,636 that make this city great. 521 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,347 And so what if she doesn't wear makeup? 522 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:41,598 I wear makeup. 523 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,121 We like her better that way! And you steal clients, don't you? 524 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,602 Don't you? 525 00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:47,312 Okay, that's different. 526 00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:48,897 "That's different," is it? 527 00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:51,024 Okay, thief. 528 00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:54,152 You better check your things, people. In fact, where are my keys? 529 00:19:54,652 --> 00:19:58,114 Oh. They're in my pocket. False alarm. 530 00:19:59,074 --> 00:20:00,158 Okay. 531 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,871 So you're gonna be working here. 532 00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:08,625 I mean... yeah. 533 00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,502 Welcome aboard. 534 00:20:12,796 --> 00:20:14,506 Thank you. 535 00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,716 Hey, crazy. Um... 536 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,719 So, that's it? You're just... you're fine? 537 00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:23,139 It's after 5:00, Jim. I'm not gonna take this home. 538 00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:25,809 Pleasure. 539 00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:27,352 Thanks. 540 00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:30,480 This morning, Danny cordray stole a sale from me. So what do I do? 541 00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:32,690 I go out and I steal Danny cordray. 542 00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,902 The sale that mattered, I made. Boom. 543 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:37,463 Funny thing about it, we don't even need him. 544 00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:39,697 We already have packer on the road. 545 00:20:39,823 --> 00:20:40,824 (Exclaims) 546 00:20:40,949 --> 00:20:43,076 Crap. I forgot about packer. 547 00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:46,496 (Exhales) 548 00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:49,791 Star's in her eyes, tongue full of flies 549 00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:52,710 would you like to share my pad? 550 00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:56,548 Croak, croak, croak, bullfrog in love 551 00:20:57,507 --> 00:21:00,093 croak, croak, croak, bullfrog in love 552 00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:01,302 and I gave her the croak 553 00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:02,887 that meant I love you 554 00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:06,015 I'll be your croak monsieur 555 00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:08,435 I'll be your croak madame 556 00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:10,687 your mama might've said that bullfrogs are dogs 557 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:13,356 but I'm here to tell you that I'm a frog 558 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,443 come and sit on my log, you little pollywog 559 00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:18,820 I find you absolutely ribbitting! 560 00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,531 Croak, croak, croak, bullfrog in love 561 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,200 croak, croak, croak, bullfrog in love 562 00:21:24,284 --> 00:21:25,493 croak ribbit 563 00:21:25,577 --> 00:21:27,787 scoopty splash 564 00:21:27,871 --> 00:21:29,164 nice.