1 00:00:06,090 --> 00:00:07,192 They caught the Scranton strangler. 2 00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,416 They trapped him in his house. 3 00:00:08,551 --> 00:00:10,737 Female newscaster on computer: And then photographing them, 4 00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,013 is believed to be inside. 5 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:15,850 Police have now surrounded the apartment complex. 6 00:00:15,975 --> 00:00:17,185 Police have surrounded. And we 7 00:00:17,310 --> 00:00:19,896 now see what appears to be a SWAT Van pulling up. 8 00:00:19,979 --> 00:00:21,480 SWAT, SWAT's arriving. 9 00:00:21,564 --> 00:00:23,274 It is unknown if he is armed with any... 10 00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:25,109 They should do that thing where they play 11 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:27,570 the really good music to get him to come out. 12 00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:31,532 Ugh! They shouldn't televise any of this. It just encourages copycats. 13 00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:34,785 Just say copies. Why do you have to drag cats into this? 14 00:00:34,911 --> 00:00:37,496 Okay, while this is interesting, we should get back to work. 15 00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:39,290 These standoffs can last a long time. 16 00:00:39,624 --> 00:00:41,167 What if it's another waco? 17 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:42,501 It's pronounced "wacko." 18 00:00:42,585 --> 00:00:44,253 Some events are so newsworthy, 19 00:00:44,337 --> 00:00:47,048 so historic, that you have to stop everything to watch. 20 00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:49,967 Balloon boy, Michael Jackson's funeral... 21 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:52,887 Uh, things that, if you didn't see them live, 22 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:55,723 you wouldn't really care that you didn't see them at all. 23 00:00:55,932 --> 00:00:57,868 Female newscaster: Coming to you from the corner of... 24 00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:59,685 Columbia street and Washington ave. 25 00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:01,270 God, when is he gonna come out? 26 00:01:01,354 --> 00:01:03,814 For what we all pray is the last... (Phone rings) 27 00:01:04,357 --> 00:01:06,442 Andy: I bet he's wishing he had a hybrid, right? 28 00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:08,069 Sixty miles to the gallon in the city! 29 00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:11,197 No, I bet he's wishing he was strangling someone. 30 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,448 Okay, that's our street. 31 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,384 That's our street. He's going down our street. 32 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,493 Come on, everybody. 33 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:16,911 Kevin: Go. Go, go, go. 34 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,621 (Sirens wailing) 35 00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:20,665 There it is. There it is. 36 00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:21,934 I saw it. Andy: Where? Where? 37 00:01:21,958 --> 00:01:23,417 I saw it. It's gone. 38 00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:24,502 Andy: Oh! 39 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,587 He went right by. 40 00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:29,032 You missed it. You missed it. (All groan in disappointment) 41 00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:33,261 Michael: "Grandpa, where were you the day 42 00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:35,221 "the Scranton strangler was caught?" 43 00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:39,725 (In gruff voice) Well, I was there, kiddo. I was there. 44 00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:44,272 And I'll tell you what, 45 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:50,069 you go sell these and buy yourself a nice spaceship. 46 00:02:11,382 --> 00:02:13,092 Michael. 47 00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,219 Walk with me. 48 00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:16,637 Gabe and I are having a party, 49 00:02:16,721 --> 00:02:18,657 and everyone's invited, and it's at his apartment. 50 00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:20,325 And we're gonna watch glee. Glee? What is glee? 51 00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:21,767 Some sort of television program? 52 00:02:21,851 --> 00:02:23,853 Jim, I need that thing, stat. 53 00:02:23,936 --> 00:02:25,438 Okay. Erin: Yeah, it's a TV show. 54 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,898 Dwight. Signing. 55 00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:30,210 I don't have time for parties. I don't have time for TV shows. 56 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:32,045 Stanley, what time is that thing that I have to do? 57 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:34,155 Cancel it. Are you still here? 58 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,657 Oh, it's just... it's our first party together. 59 00:02:36,741 --> 00:02:38,909 Mmm-mmm! So... 60 00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:40,953 Did you hear what I said? 61 00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,403 I'm a very busy man. I don't have time for your TV show. 62 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:45,458 Okay, sorry. I'm joking. 63 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:47,960 Wait, which... I'm joking. 64 00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:50,129 I'm kidding around. 65 00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:52,089 I'm not actually angry. 66 00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:54,467 (Both laughing) 67 00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:56,302 I'm not busy at all. I'm not doing anything. 68 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:58,387 And I know what glee is. I am a total gleek. 69 00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:00,597 Oh, me too. You know who my favorite character is? 70 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,224 Theinvahd. 71 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,250 Yes, I'd love to come to your party. 72 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,519 Oh, my gosh. 73 00:03:05,603 --> 00:03:07,938 I don't know if Michael likes Gabe that much, 74 00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:09,899 but there's this thing on glee called mash-up, 75 00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:13,569 where two things that don't go together make one great song. 76 00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:17,406 Take Gabe, take Michael, you make "gaymike." 77 00:03:18,157 --> 00:03:19,200 Best friends. 78 00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:20,493 No, really? 79 00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:22,787 Is there time to change this? That show... 80 00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:24,955 I mean, first they say that Mr. Schue 81 00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,639 doesn't know anything about choreography, 82 00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,352 and then, like, three episodes later, 83 00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:30,252 he's this fantastic choreographer. 84 00:03:30,336 --> 00:03:31,337 Pick a Lane, people. 85 00:03:31,629 --> 00:03:33,172 And what was with Jesse's sudden turn 86 00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,924 on Rachel between dream on and funk? 87 00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,634 Where the heck did that come from? 88 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,637 Honestly, that show, it's just... it's irresponsible. 89 00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:41,472 Are you going? 90 00:03:41,806 --> 00:03:43,682 Not because I want to. 91 00:03:44,183 --> 00:03:48,479 Of all feelings, to base a show around glee? (Scoffs) 92 00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:50,856 Thirst. Now that's a show I'd watch. 93 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,692 I would watch that. 94 00:03:53,776 --> 00:03:54,920 Tonight might be a convenient night 95 00:03:54,944 --> 00:03:56,224 for us to have some intercourse. 96 00:03:59,782 --> 00:04:01,635 You're having a party at Gabe's apartment? Mmm-hmm. 97 00:04:01,659 --> 00:04:03,411 I'd love it if you were there. You would? 98 00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:05,581 You and Michael are always the life of the party. 99 00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:07,706 (Sighs) 100 00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:10,167 Try and keep me from coming. 101 00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:12,002 Why would I keep you from coming? 102 00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:15,256 Try and hide it, I will track this party down. 103 00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:16,924 (Laughing) Why would I hide it? 104 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:20,594 Kevin. 105 00:04:20,678 --> 00:04:22,221 Hey. You going tonight? 106 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:23,347 Yes, I am. Are you? 107 00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:25,479 Yeah. You got to go to the boss's party, right? 108 00:04:25,558 --> 00:04:26,559 Mmm-hmm. 109 00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:29,728 What? No, Gabe... Gabe is not the boss. 110 00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:32,523 No, he's not the boss. 111 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:34,630 Why did you just say he was the boss? 112 00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:37,486 'Cause you're the boss. 113 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,698 Guys, do you consider Gabe to be the boss? 114 00:04:45,161 --> 00:04:46,454 It's a make-your-own-pizza night. 115 00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:47,537 Michael: Okay. 116 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:49,623 Isntgabes waces0iflce? Uh-huh. 117 00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:51,587 Look at the size of those wine glasses, Michael. 118 00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:53,669 They're big. 119 00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:56,714 Those posters used to be real French ads. 120 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:57,882 All right. 121 00:04:58,007 --> 00:05:00,718 So, these are your cheeses, your hams, 122 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,053 your sausages, your herbs and your vegetables. 123 00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:05,055 Here's what's been done. Start creating. 124 00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:07,808 Sometimes it helps to think of a part of the world 125 00:05:07,892 --> 00:05:10,102 and then make... Okay. Okay. Okay. 126 00:05:10,186 --> 00:05:12,396 Gabe likes to entertain a lot, 127 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:16,442 and he cooks in an oven, and all thatjazz. 128 00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,069 I just have a different lifestyle. 129 00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:20,529 They have these bags of vegetables 130 00:05:20,613 --> 00:05:22,907 that steam right inside their own bag. 131 00:05:23,115 --> 00:05:24,700 So, I'll get a glass ofsangna, 132 00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:26,368 sit down in front of the TV, 133 00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:28,287 my bag of vegetables... 134 00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:30,998 Before you know it, I'm ready for bed. 135 00:05:31,457 --> 00:05:32,458 Okay. 136 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,710 You don't really toss the dough. 137 00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:36,420 Try to destroy the old ways, Gabe. 138 00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:38,255 I will not let you. 139 00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:43,302 So, welcome to my man cave. 140 00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:47,765 I did my senior year abroad in Japan. Best year of my life. 141 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:48,891 You play? 142 00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:51,519 I like to create soundscapes. 143 00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:55,981 Imagine one instant of a song expanded to be the size of the universe. 144 00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:57,566 I can't even do that. 145 00:05:57,942 --> 00:05:58,984 (Cece coomo) 146 00:05:59,068 --> 00:06:01,737 She's up. Great. 147 00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:03,739 Cece is reverse cycling, 148 00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:06,700 which means she sleeps all day, and she's up all night, 149 00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:09,912 which basically means I'm up all day, and I'm up all night. 150 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:14,708 And if it doesn't stop soon, I am gonna be up all night. 151 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:20,047 The show's starting. The show's starting. 152 00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:23,050 The show's starting. 153 00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:25,636 Show's starting. 154 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:29,181 Finn: All right, let's gather around. 155 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,140 Who's that? 156 00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:32,184 Kelly: Finn. 157 00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,228 Who's that? Rachel. 158 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:37,481 Okay. Which one's glee? 159 00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:39,275 You have to stop. 160 00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:40,901 Where's Michael? Where's Michael? 161 00:06:40,985 --> 00:06:42,319 We can't start without Michael. 162 00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:47,157 Oh, here he is. Oh, yay, and let the show begin. 163 00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:48,367 (Increases volume) 164 00:06:48,993 --> 00:06:50,073 Gabe: That's a little loud. 165 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:54,498 Well, actually, I think it's not loud enough. May I? 166 00:06:54,832 --> 00:06:56,500 Excuse me. Thank you, sir. 167 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,919 There you go. It's glee, right? 168 00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:00,337 Rock and roll. (Increases volume) 169 00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:01,880 Turn it up to 11. 170 00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,132 Come on, Michael. 171 00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:05,175 Spinal cord. (Decreases volume) 172 00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:06,987 Some of us are trying to have a conversation. 173 00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:08,846 Well, some of us are trying to... 174 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,431 I'll just turn the captions on. 175 00:07:11,223 --> 00:07:13,017 Well, I will turn the volume up. 176 00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:14,935 That's for the other box. 177 00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:16,937 Okay. 178 00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:18,522 (Sighs) 179 00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:25,988 Okay. 180 00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:29,825 Here's what we're gonna do. 181 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,410 Right down the hall is a bedroom. 182 00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,912 All the real glee fans are gonna go down the hall 183 00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:35,664 to the real glee party in the bedroom. 184 00:07:35,748 --> 00:07:37,333 Follow me 185 00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:39,293 where we can crank it. 186 00:07:43,047 --> 00:07:44,256 What's your angle? That woman. 187 00:07:44,340 --> 00:07:46,026 She's been in a couple of episodes of Friday night lights. 188 00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:47,152 You know what? I'm so confused. 189 00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:50,346 Is this a glee watching party or is this a glee pausing party? 190 00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:52,348 Yeah. Yeah, I know. Because we keep stopping it 191 00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:53,742 to get a history lesson about television... 192 00:07:53,766 --> 00:07:54,826 Oscar: I didn't know the rules. 193 00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:56,477 There. It's on, it's on. 194 00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:58,562 I didn't read the rule book. 195 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:00,773 Hey, Michael. (Michael sighs) 196 00:08:01,774 --> 00:08:04,777 Maybe you should try going in the other room again. 197 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:08,030 You can have my seat. It's closer to the TV. 198 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,114 It'll seem louder. 199 00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:12,242 Pam, I have a loaded gun in my desk at work. 200 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,704 And if I ever start acting like that weenie, Gabe, 201 00:08:15,788 --> 00:08:16,914 I want you to take that gun, 202 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,791 and I want you to shoot me, like, 100 times 203 00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:20,751 in the groin till I'm dead, okay? 204 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,419 You have a gun in your desk? 205 00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,088 Somewhere. 206 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:27,925 Hey. Marantz tube stereo from the 1970s! 207 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,719 I respect that. I respect that a lot. 208 00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,388 (Laughs) 209 00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:35,182 The five Chinese virility herbs. 210 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,518 No kidding. This is powdered seahorse. 211 00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,104 They say that 15 Chinese soldiers 212 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,898 fought off the entire army of genghis Khan just using this stuff. 213 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,442 You know what they say... No, what? 214 00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:49,113 What is this, samurai woodcuts? Yup. 215 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,031 Pretty erotic. 216 00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:52,616 Hmm. Yeah. 217 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:56,036 Better men than Gabe have tried to be my boss. 218 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,162 (Crying) 219 00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:58,372 David got fired. 220 00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:00,666 Charles got fired. Jan went crazy. 221 00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:03,752 Ed truck, who I liked, got decapitated. 222 00:09:03,836 --> 00:09:04,837 Michael. Yes. 223 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,381 I find it absolutely disgraceful 224 00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,442 that no one followed you in here for your walk-out. 225 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:12,594 I took the Liberty of making a list of everyone who didn't follow you in here. 226 00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:14,722 Jim, Oscar, creed, 227 00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:17,975 me, at first... Kelly... Maybe I should go. 228 00:09:19,143 --> 00:09:22,146 Are you gonna quiet that baby or do I have to? 229 00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:24,314 (Cece continues crying) 230 00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,568 (Babbling) 231 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:30,821 (Shushing) 232 00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:36,034 In the schrute family, the youngest child always raises the others. 233 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,162 I've been raising children since I was a baby. 234 00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:45,127 Take a shot. 235 00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:47,171 Oh, thanks. 236 00:09:49,173 --> 00:09:50,591 So much Asian stuff! 237 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,843 I wonder if there's a guy in China right now 238 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,220 looking at a bunch of our stuff. 239 00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:57,264 Why does Erin like Gabe? 240 00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:01,477 Andy, look, 241 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:04,605 all I know is, if I was a girl and I had to choose 242 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:07,524 between a tall dude who loved Asia 243 00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:12,279 and a you-looking dude who loved sweaters and wearing sweaters, 244 00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:15,240 I'd choose you. 245 00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,202 That's really nice. Thank you. 246 00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:20,162 And I'd blow your mind. 247 00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:34,235 Oscar: Jim, what are you doing? 248 00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:36,488 It's a commercial break, so I just wanted to check the scores. 249 00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:37,512 Flip it back, please. 250 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:38,764 Okay. 251 00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,477 The show's back on. What happened? 252 00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:45,062 We were behind. 253 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,396 Go to the recorded version. 254 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,106 Oh, my god. What song was that? 255 00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,733 I wasn't recording it. What? 256 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,693 What song was it? 257 00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:53,137 Wait, why do you have to record it? 258 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,280 Right now is why, Erin. We're living it. 259 00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:56,740 Start recording now. Jim. 260 00:10:57,199 --> 00:10:59,493 Okay, they did blinded by the light, 261 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:02,371 and they did it with an actual blind guy. 262 00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:06,166 Was it worth it, Jim? 'Cause we missed it. 263 00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:10,963 If I could get her sleeping normally, I would get my life back. 264 00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:12,982 That would be nice, wouldn't it? 265 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,174 I can't even talk about it. 266 00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:15,819 You know, it's not really necessary for me 267 00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:17,344 to sit here holding her all night. 268 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:20,806 Just go to Gabe's refrigerator, get a lump of suet, 269 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,851 or any kind of congealed animal fat will do, really. 270 00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:26,562 Tie a piece of string to it, tie the other end to her toe, 271 00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:28,438 pop the suet in her mouth, 272 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,274 she'll be happy for hours. 273 00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:33,110 I kind of doubt Gabe has suet. 274 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,612 Really? 275 00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:38,365 Well, then here we are. 276 00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:39,491 Michael. 277 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,703 Gabe is making the pigs in a blanket, (dwight shushing) 278 00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:44,705 (Whispering) And he kind of needs some help, 279 00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:46,874 so he was wondering if you could help him. 280 00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:59,595 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Phyllis Vance. 281 00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:02,764 (Sniffing) 282 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:06,321 Is that white diamonds by Elizabeth Taylor? 283 00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:07,603 You know your perfumes. 284 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,771 My nanny used to wear that. 285 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,315 I just ate an entire seahorse. 286 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,942 I have to admit, I did not think it was gonna work, 287 00:12:14,026 --> 00:12:15,319 but it's totally working. 288 00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:18,238 I feel exactly like a seahorse. 289 00:12:18,447 --> 00:12:20,073 (Neighing) 290 00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:22,326 (Gurgung) 291 00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:26,330 Look who I found. 292 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,624 Yeah, well, iwasn't very hard to find. 293 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,192 Let's go ahead and wash your hands. 294 00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:36,173 Is this the same dough that you used for the pizza crust? 295 00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:38,258 Yeah. Waste not, right? 296 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,665 So, these are pizza dogs. These aren't pigs in a blanket, 297 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:41,803 perse. 298 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,741 Michael knows everything there is to know about snacks. 299 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:45,766 Well. 300 00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:47,392 Gabe was born in 1982. 301 00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:49,244 He was the longest baby in the hospital. 302 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,687 He's the longest baby in this room. 303 00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:53,941 What's the longest thing you've ever seen? 304 00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:55,168 For me, it was the tail from a jet... 305 00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:56,232 Erin, you don't have to... 306 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,276 Yeah, you know what, Erin, you do have to. Michael, 307 00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,789 you are making this harder than it has to be. 308 00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:02,115 That's what she said. 309 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:11,875 (Whispering) Hey. 310 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,210 Pam: It's a miracle. 311 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,712 She loves him. 312 00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:18,423 I don't know about "love." 313 00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:20,258 She loves me. 314 00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:24,763 Outside. My car. Two minutes. 315 00:13:27,391 --> 00:13:28,826 All right. Something's come up. I gotta go. 316 00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:29,911 No, no, no, she'll wake up. 317 00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:30,978 No, lhave something to do. 318 00:13:31,061 --> 00:13:33,063 I know what you have to do. Please stay with Cece. 319 00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:38,527 Dwight, I've always considered us to be very good friends. 320 00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:39,903 Great friends. 321 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,113 Remember your concussion? 322 00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,115 I do, 323 00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:44,384 but you married my worst enemy. 324 00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:46,410 I know. Well, I think enemy's a strong word, 325 00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:48,388 'cause I think we have a really charming back-and-forth... 326 00:13:48,412 --> 00:13:49,746 Enough. 327 00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:56,920 I will require beer and pizza to think this over. 328 00:13:57,129 --> 00:13:58,672 Absolutely. From Jim. 329 00:13:58,755 --> 00:13:59,816 Well, I don't think that's... 330 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:02,217 Do it. 331 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,079 What kind of pizza would you like? 332 00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:06,972 Surprise me. No. 333 00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:09,349 Pepperoni. 334 00:14:13,729 --> 00:14:15,731 Okay. 335 00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:17,566 All right. 336 00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:20,360 And the winner is, by two votes, Sam and... 337 00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,446 (Screams) What's going on? 338 00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:25,991 (All murmuring) 339 00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:31,329 Hey, creed. Do you read Chinese? 340 00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:32,580 Better than English. 341 00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,624 What does this say? 342 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:37,919 (In mock mandarin) 343 00:14:45,177 --> 00:14:48,638 Hello, ups, still waiting on that five minutes with Erin I ordered. 344 00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,140 Oh, never mind, it's here. 345 00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:53,310 Well, if it isn't the belle of the ball. 346 00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:56,772 You throw a lovely party, milady. 347 00:14:57,189 --> 00:14:59,357 Are you having a good time? 348 00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:01,234 Did you wear my favorite outfit on purpose? 349 00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:02,319 Andy, you look awful. 350 00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:06,031 You're four seasons in a day. (Gags) 351 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:10,786 You got the Autumn thing going on. 352 00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:12,746 But if you put on baby... 353 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,081 (Gagging) 354 00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,375 But if you put on a blue... 355 00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:24,716 It's springtime in the rockies. 356 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,927 Are you all right? 357 00:15:27,511 --> 00:15:29,930 (Whispering) Mmm-mmm. Insert it in my mouth. 358 00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:31,157 Okay, that's not gonna make your 359 00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:32,941 pizza-eating experience any better, trust me. 360 00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:33,974 Oh, try me. 361 00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:37,020 Jim, just don't think of it as degrading. 362 00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:39,731 Think of it as you happen to be moving the pizza 363 00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:42,776 six inches this way, and he happens to be biting it. 364 00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:44,778 I'd prefer for him to think of it as degrading. 365 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:45,862 Okay. 366 00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:50,867 Crust first. 367 00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:55,789 Okay. Now the beer. 368 00:15:58,458 --> 00:15:59,459 Beer me, Jim. 369 00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:02,754 (Exclaims) 370 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:05,757 Gentle. 371 00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:08,426 Mmm, mmm. 372 00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,805 Now I've got to go meet Angela. 373 00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,768 What? No, wait. You said you were gonna help us. 374 00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,977 I have a legal obligation to Angela, okay? 375 00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:18,270 She needs to be serviced. 376 00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:19,539 You need to stop talking. Oh, god. 377 00:16:19,563 --> 00:16:20,897 Oh, come on. 378 00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:22,440 Can we stop the fake prissy act? 379 00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:23,524 Join the real world. 380 00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:25,152 Sex contracts exist, okay? 381 00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:26,903 Okay, fine, there must be some way 382 00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:28,547 to get out of it, even just for tonight. 383 00:16:28,572 --> 00:16:30,115 Yeah, sure. Jim can go see her. 384 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,177 Okay. You've been with a blonde before? 385 00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:33,243 It's the big leagues. 386 00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:34,637 I'm going home, and I'm taking my baby. 387 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,496 No, no, don't. 388 00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:37,664 I will go talk to Angela. 389 00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,332 She is in heat. 390 00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:40,496 She will eat your face off. 391 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:43,587 The reverse cycling ends tonight. 392 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,323 A single piece of pepperoni, please. 393 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:49,926 I'm not... 394 00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:58,894 What are you doing? 395 00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:03,356 I wanted to eat a pig in a blanket in a blanket. 396 00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,526 (Retching) 397 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,034 Phyllis: Are you all right? 398 00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,494 Erin likes Gabe. 399 00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:17,871 I know. 400 00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:19,789 I thought you two were nice together. 401 00:17:20,332 --> 00:17:21,708 Do you think that they've ever... 402 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:22,792 Made love? 403 00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:26,129 I don't know. 404 00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:28,798 Well, girls tell each other things, right? 405 00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:31,218 I'll see what I can find out. 406 00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:34,137 (All chattering) 407 00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,306 Where you been? 408 00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,053 I just went out for a walk. 409 00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:39,601 Cable's out. 410 00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:41,394 What? Really? 411 00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:42,646 That stinks. 412 00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:43,897 It's still on upstairs. 413 00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:47,067 What does that mean? Party's over? Everybody leaves? 414 00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:48,276 Creed: Are you sure? 415 00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:52,739 Hey, puck and Finn worked it out, and the solo is now a duet. 416 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,241 Are you kidding me? No. 417 00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:55,408 Now, that's going on. Yep. 418 00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:58,245 Kevin: I can't believe we're missing that. 419 00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:00,830 Boy, I wish I could see that. 420 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,166 You know what? I have an idea. 421 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,685 I don't know if it's gonna work, 422 00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:07,045 but let me give it this... okay. 423 00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,128 I'm gonna give it a shot. 424 00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:10,465 Please, Michael, just make the glee happen. 425 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:11,591 Good luck, Michael. 426 00:18:11,675 --> 00:18:12,926 Erin. 427 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,887 So, how long have you two been going out now? 428 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:17,514 Oh, like three months. 429 00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:19,557 I imagine things are starting to heat up. 430 00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:20,975 I don't know. 431 00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:22,617 Of course, you don't want to rush things. 432 00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:25,647 I mean, the anticipation can be so exquisite. 433 00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:27,899 Bob and I took our time. 434 00:18:27,983 --> 00:18:30,543 The first time we saw each other naked, we didn't even make love. 435 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:34,281 We just stared at each other until we fell asleep. 436 00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:35,490 It was magical. 437 00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:38,201 I have to go, Phyllis. Really magical. 438 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,289 Hey in there. It's me, Pam. 439 00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:43,972 It's not Dwight. Don't think it's Dwight. 440 00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:45,625 What are you doing here? 441 00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:48,253 I know you and Dwight have this weird deal. 442 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,256 He sent me out here to see if you could postpone. 443 00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:53,341 Are you authorized to do this? 444 00:18:53,425 --> 00:18:55,552 Yes. I have been so authorized. 445 00:18:56,011 --> 00:18:59,764 Okay, well, tell him that we'll do this tomorrow night instead. 446 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,850 Okay. Wait, Pam. Pam. 447 00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:05,812 How did he seem? You know, like, did he seem disappointed? 448 00:19:06,438 --> 00:19:08,898 You know, there are a lot of guys out there 449 00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:10,358 who would just love 450 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:13,570 and appreciate a woman... You know what, Pam, just save it. 451 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:19,451 You did this? 452 00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,995 No, I was just check... Yes, I did. Yes. Yes. 453 00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,078 Why won't you like him? 454 00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:25,081 What is there to like? He's just... 455 00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:30,587 He's a weird, little, skeevy guy with no waist. 456 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,350 Why do you care whether we like him or not? 457 00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:34,132 I care if you like him. 458 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,092 Why? I'm not your father. 459 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:52,192 All right. 460 00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:53,485 Okay. Go to your room. 461 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,153 What? 462 00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:56,946 Go to your room, young lady. 463 00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,912 I'm not going to my room. 464 00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:07,082 You listen to me. 465 00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:08,291 You listen good. 466 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:12,379 You are not to see that boy anymore. 467 00:20:12,587 --> 00:20:13,671 You listen to me. 468 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,715 You are not to tell me what to do. 469 00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:17,717 As long as you are living under this roof, 470 00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:19,041 you are going to do what I say. 471 00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:20,345 (Shouts) I hate your roof. 472 00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:21,572 Do not raise your voice to me. 473 00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:23,396 I'll raise it all I want. I'll raise the roof. 474 00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:25,266 I will pull this car over. 475 00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:27,394 I hate it. I hate your car. 476 00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:29,687 See you, Oscar. 477 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,947 If you break that girl's heart, I will kill you. 478 00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,190 It's just a figure ofspeech. 479 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,032 But seriously, if you break that girl's heart, 480 00:20:41,116 --> 00:20:43,868 I will literally kill you and your entire family. 481 00:20:43,952 --> 00:20:46,287 Gabe, just go and have fun with Erin, 482 00:20:46,371 --> 00:20:48,289 but not too much fun. 483 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:52,210 That girl's gonna turn my hair gray. 484 00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,338 What happened? 485 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:59,509 I accidentally ate some seahorses. 486 00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:01,970 How much? 487 00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:05,306 I don't know. It's powdered, so... 488 00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:08,268 Like, four or five, I don't know. 489 00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:11,020 I've got just the thing. 490 00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:20,363 This one is called "earthrise on the moon." 491 00:21:20,572 --> 00:21:22,699 (New age instrumental music playing) 492 00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:26,244 That's so beautiful.