1 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:10,928 Twenty minutes a day, Jim. That's all it takes. 2 00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:13,639 Twenty minutes a day, all feet, no hands, 3 00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,516 andlllhave the pedidexterity of a chimp, 4 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,977 and you'll be sitting there like an idiot. 5 00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:20,646 Okay, here we go. Yes. 6 00:00:21,314 --> 00:00:22,773 Do you mind? I'm sorry, Pam. 7 00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:25,109 Allow me to write you an apology letter. 8 00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:27,737 You don't have to do that. 9 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:37,496 Backspace, a_.Dean_ 10 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:43,461 Thank you, hands. 11 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,963 Nothing else in the universe can do what you do. 12 00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:57,391 Don't worry about it. Dwight, it's okay. You were wrong. 13 00:00:57,767 --> 00:00:58,768 It's so hot. 14 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:09,028 Well, "a" for effort, right? 15 00:01:25,044 --> 00:01:27,171 Welcome. Start your morning right 16 00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:29,423 with a burst of blueberry or try plain. 17 00:01:29,507 --> 00:01:30,508 What's the occasion? 18 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,927 Dwight said this entry was a waste of space. 19 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:37,014 I would like UN muffin du blueberry, por favor. 20 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:39,767 $8? 21 00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:42,979 Owning a building is a war between the landlord and the tenant. 22 00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:44,897 Not a literal war, unfortunately, 23 00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:46,857 but I am using the same tactics. 24 00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:50,987 I've surrounded the enemy, and I'm slowly starving them. 25 00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:53,197 To save on electricity, I have installed a timer 26 00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:55,408 and motion sensors on the lights. 27 00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:59,495 It's part of my green initiative. And by green, I mean money. 28 00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:02,415 Mmm-hmm. 29 00:02:02,498 --> 00:02:04,542 China. China. 30 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,043 Michael, how was the dentist? 31 00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:07,962 It was great. 32 00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:09,255 China. 33 00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:11,044 Are you okay? What's wrong? 34 00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:13,134 Everything here was made in China, Pam. 35 00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:14,528 Yeah, that's where they make stuff. 36 00:02:14,552 --> 00:02:17,555 They used to make stuff in america, Andy, but we're falling behind. 37 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:18,639 Did you know that? 38 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:22,393 China is a sleeping dragon that is just beginning to stir. 39 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:23,728 Oh, no. Yeah. 40 00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:26,272 Right here. It is right there. 41 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,150 Anybody read the news anymore? 42 00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:32,111 "China is on the move." 43 00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:34,655 I found that in the waiting room at the dentist's office. 44 00:02:34,739 --> 00:02:36,657 This kid had the magazine I wanted to read. 45 00:02:36,741 --> 00:02:38,242 That's the only one I could reach, 46 00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:39,910 and I read it and then I read it again. 47 00:02:40,036 --> 00:02:43,331 My whole life I believed that america was number one. 48 00:02:43,414 --> 00:02:44,665 That was the saying. 49 00:02:44,749 --> 00:02:48,085 Not america's number two. England is number two. 50 00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:51,589 China should be, like, eight. 51 00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:53,591 Hey, Andy. 52 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,009 Hey, Darryl. 53 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,178 You gotta stop texting me so much. 54 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,742 But I wanted you to know that Michael and I are wearing the same tie today. 55 00:03:01,766 --> 00:03:02,767 Itsinsane. 56 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:06,062 You need to change your standard for what's worthy of a text. 57 00:03:06,145 --> 00:03:09,398 Ask yourself, "is this something Darryl needs to know?" 58 00:03:09,482 --> 00:03:11,192 The answer's almost always "no." 59 00:03:11,776 --> 00:03:13,402 Got it. Then, I will call you. 60 00:03:14,904 --> 00:03:17,365 There was a time when the only people who texted you 61 00:03:17,448 --> 00:03:20,659 were people you wanted to text you. Girls. 62 00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:23,954 And they'd all say the same thing. "I'm coming over, baby." 63 00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:28,834 And I would text back. B-t-b. "Bring that Booty." 64 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:33,964 Dwight. Why is the toilet paper only half a ply? 65 00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:36,842 I'm sorry. Is that not good enough for your anus? 66 00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:40,888 Don't get me started on how coddled the modern anus is. 67 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,431 Okay, Stanley, 68 00:03:42,515 --> 00:03:45,035 maybe you can just unspool a little more each time you need to... 69 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,977 Don't tell me how to do my business. 70 00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:51,649 Stanley, as a fellow dunder Mifflin employee, I feel for you, 71 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:54,402 but, like you, I am completely powerless 72 00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:55,712 to the whims of the new building owner. 73 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:56,737 Which is you. 74 00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:58,489 "Which is you" is not a sentence. 75 00:03:58,656 --> 00:03:59,949 I disagree with. 76 00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:01,802 Are you gonna just sit there, office administrator, 77 00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:03,494 or are you gonna do something? 78 00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:07,957 Dwight, can we talk about these out backs? 79 00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:11,419 Pam, when I'm sitting at this desk, I'm a salesman. 80 00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:13,105 If you wanna talk to the new building owner, 81 00:04:13,129 --> 00:04:15,049 you should call Nate and schedule an appointment. 82 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:16,757 I'm not gonna do that. 83 00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:18,944 Well, then you're not going to talk to the new building owner, 84 00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:19,968 which is a shame, 85 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,679 because I hear he's a very reasonable guy. 86 00:04:24,348 --> 00:04:26,267 Y'ello? Hi, Nate. It's Pam Halpert. 87 00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:27,350 Oh, hey, Pam. 88 00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:30,271 Hey, I would just love to schedule a meeting today with Dwight. 89 00:04:30,396 --> 00:04:32,815 Let me put you on hold just for one eensy second. 90 00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:34,233 Sure. 91 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:38,696 Dwight schrute. 92 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:39,947 Mmm-hmm. 93 00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:41,949 Tell her I'm busy. 94 00:04:43,159 --> 00:04:44,439 I don't know. Make something up. 95 00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:48,581 Nate: Hey, Pam, Dwight's being questioned by the police 96 00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:52,543 in connection with a string of dognappings that have been... 97 00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:54,128 Dwight. 98 00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:58,466 Dwight, can you please tell the new building owner 99 00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,926 that he is screwing over all the people he works with. 100 00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:03,679 People he's worked with for years, his friends. 101 00:05:04,889 --> 00:05:06,974 You know what, Pam? You're right. 102 00:05:08,851 --> 00:05:09,977 This isn'tjust a business, 103 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:12,980 this is a home. 104 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:15,149 And I would much rather see a smile from Kevin 105 00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:17,902 than save hundreds on plumbing and electricity. 106 00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:21,238 Erin: Oh, my god. 107 00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:22,363 What? 108 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:25,326 According to the Internet, the tallest man in the world is Chinese. 109 00:05:25,618 --> 00:05:27,411 So much for keeping our secrets up high. 110 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:28,746 What's america gonna do? 111 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,514 I know what we're gonna do. We're gonna put our best minds on it. 112 00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,544 Everybody, stop working. 113 00:05:36,629 --> 00:05:38,506 I want you all to imagine a world 114 00:05:38,589 --> 00:05:40,758 in which america is not the number one superpower, 115 00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:43,427 where forks are irrelevant, 116 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,388 and where every man, woman and child 117 00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:49,225 is expected to learn how to play the cello. 118 00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:51,434 Now, open your eyes. 119 00:05:51,477 --> 00:05:52,853 You never told us to close them. 120 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,396 Welcome to your future. 121 00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:56,065 What do we do? How do we stop this? 122 00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:59,485 How do we stop it? With a big idea. 123 00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:02,154 That's what america is built on. 124 00:06:02,238 --> 00:06:05,824 Big ideas, blue jeans, the Grand Canyon. 125 00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:07,826 Who's got one? Who's got a big idea? 126 00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:09,453 An idea bigger than the Grand Canyon? 127 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:11,205 Michael: Yes, indeed. 128 00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:13,290 Yes, Kevin. 129 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:17,378 An antacid that you only take once a week. 130 00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:22,675 Once-a-week antacid is the idea to beat. Anyone else? 131 00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:24,635 Nobody? 132 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:25,719 Okay, then, we are... 133 00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:26,803 Michael. Yes. 134 00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:31,392 An antacid pill that you take once every six weeks. 135 00:06:31,475 --> 00:06:33,143 Why not just go one for the year? 136 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,228 I don't know. 137 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,289 It's too big a pill to swallow. Michael: All right. 138 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:39,191 What if we all get together and help each other, 139 00:06:39,275 --> 00:06:41,360 and hire a new guy and then we all kill him, 140 00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:44,446 but first we take out, like, a $100,000 life insurance policy? 141 00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,323 I bet you guys like that idea, don't you? 142 00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,260 I think that's what they're doing to me. 143 00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:52,746 I can't prove it, but I wanted to see their faces when I said it. 144 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,123 I learned nothing. 145 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,625 I don't know what the That was. 146 00:06:56,709 --> 00:06:57,710 I say we bomb 'em. 147 00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:00,045 By 2020, they're gonna be the world's largest economy, 148 00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:03,007 and they're getting a taste for protein. We'll all starve. 149 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,609 Yeah, Dwight's right, we should drop the bomb. 150 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:05,944 Michael: No, he's not right. We're not... 151 00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:07,678 Where would we even drop it, Phyllis? 152 00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:12,308 Did you know that in China there are 56 cities with over a million people? 153 00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:14,226 You know how many we have here? Nine. 154 00:07:14,310 --> 00:07:15,769 Actually, that's not true. 155 00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:17,521 I know the figure you're referring to, 156 00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:19,368 and it's a projection of 15 years from now. 157 00:07:19,398 --> 00:07:20,441 Kevin: Thank god. 158 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:22,026 No. No, that is right now. 159 00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:25,362 Michael, China's agrarian. Urbanizing fast? You betcha. 160 00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:26,447 But still agrarian. 161 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,949 Most in terms of land, not population. 162 00:07:29,033 --> 00:07:30,313 Come on, Michael, you couldn't... 163 00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:31,689 No! No, you're wrong about this. 164 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,139 Where are you getting this information? 165 00:07:34,163 --> 00:07:35,789 I got it from newyorktimes.Com. 166 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:36,915 Uh-oh. 167 00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:38,959 Getting nervous, Oscar? 168 00:07:39,043 --> 00:07:40,169 Okay, someone look it up. 169 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:41,462 I'm on it, Jim. I'm on it. 170 00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:42,963 Guys, it's not worth it. Really. 171 00:07:43,047 --> 00:07:45,025 Guys, this is not worth our time. 172 00:07:45,049 --> 00:07:46,925 "Are you watching this?" Seriously? 173 00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:48,719 Well, are you? 174 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:50,095 I'm sitting right here. 175 00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:51,722 Darryl: Got it. 176 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:55,517 China has 56 cities with a population of over one million. 177 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:58,520 The us. Has nine. 178 00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:00,981 Suck it, Oscar. 179 00:08:01,065 --> 00:08:03,084 Well, on the plus side, all this worrying about China 180 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,818 has made you smarter than Oscar, Michael. 181 00:08:05,069 --> 00:08:06,236 Great, I was wrong. 182 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,863 I'm wrong. Is everyone happy? 183 00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:11,950 So, I happen to know more than the smartest guy in the office. 184 00:08:12,034 --> 00:08:15,412 So what? I don't care. 185 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:18,749 Okay, now, where were we before I bested Oscar? 186 00:08:21,377 --> 00:08:23,754 Wow, so this building can get uglier. 187 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,840 I will not work in a roach billboard. 188 00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:28,926 Oh, my god. I can't look at roaches. 189 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:30,803 Michael, do something about this. 190 00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:33,263 Absolutely. Pam, this is exactly why 191 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:34,890 I hired you as office administrator. 192 00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:35,974 Handle it. 193 00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:37,434 Taking care of business. 194 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:40,312 Dwight, take it down. 195 00:08:42,398 --> 00:08:44,441 I'm serious. Take it down or else. 196 00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:47,236 Or else. Or else what? There's nothing you can do. 197 00:08:48,821 --> 00:08:50,072 We can move out. 198 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,204 Ugh. 199 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,288 Really? 200 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:09,466 So, does anyone wanna know where I've been for the last two hours? 201 00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:12,052 Oh, my god, I've been playing zombie soccer for two hours? 202 00:09:12,136 --> 00:09:15,097 I went out to look for a better office space. 203 00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:16,765 Waste of time. Not really, 204 00:09:17,141 --> 00:09:18,350 because I found one. 205 00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:20,978 Jim: Oh, wow. 206 00:09:21,145 --> 00:09:22,145 These are nice. 207 00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:23,188 Let me see. 208 00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:26,126 Look at the huge offices, Jim. Yeah, I know. 209 00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:28,152 Check out that conference room. Totally. 210 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,486 You can't just move out. 211 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:30,863 Oh, in three months we can. 212 00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:31,946 Check the lease. 213 00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:34,050 And if you don't undo all the changes you've made, we're moving. 214 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,634 Hey, guys, can I show you some pictures? 215 00:09:35,659 --> 00:09:37,819 Oh, my gosh, she's so cute. She looks like both of you. 216 00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:39,663 Theytenotofcece oh, cool 217 00:09:40,164 --> 00:09:42,082 this is possibly our new dunder Mifflin office. 218 00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:44,209 Well, I like being in the same building as Bob. 219 00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:45,335 It keeps me honest. 220 00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:48,422 Well, this building isn't far, and it's much newer. 221 00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:50,674 There's a dry cleaner, a nail place and a gym. 222 00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:52,615 Oh, and it's next door to an outback, 223 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,052 so it always smells like steak. 224 00:09:54,178 --> 00:09:55,679 Are you trying to kill me? 225 00:09:56,889 --> 00:09:58,640 Is the nail place Koreans or whites? 226 00:09:58,849 --> 00:09:59,850 Koreans. 227 00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:01,810 Good. And the dry cleaners? 228 00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:02,978 White? 229 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,062 Good. 230 00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:12,404 Whoa, there's a lot of brain power in this room. 231 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:15,365 We got Michael and Oscar, the two smartest guys in the office. 232 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:16,992 Also, in that order. 233 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,494 Funny. Jim, that is funny. 234 00:10:18,577 --> 00:10:20,162 Very comedically humorous, Jim. 235 00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:21,514 Kelly: I have a computer question. 236 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,998 Hey, Oscar? What is it? 237 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:24,601 Can you move aside so that I can ask Michael? 238 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:25,865 All right. All right, I get it. 239 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,753 Michael, how do I create a new tab? 240 00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:29,963 Try control "."P 241 00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:31,048 that's print. 242 00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:33,050 Not if the printer isn't hooked up. 243 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,344 You are making some very dangerous assumptions, Oscar. 244 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:38,323 Oscar, it must be killing you now that Michael is smarter than you. 245 00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:42,434 He's not smarter than me. He was just right about one thing. 246 00:10:42,518 --> 00:10:46,563 Yeah, but it was a really smart thing to be right about, actually. 247 00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:48,273 Actually, it was. 248 00:10:48,524 --> 00:10:51,109 Around here, Oscar is known as "actually," 249 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:54,321 because he will insert himself into just about any conversation 250 00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:57,241 to add facts or correct grammar. 251 00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:58,575 Actually, you're speculating. 252 00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:02,663 He really does fit that old stereotype of the smug, gay Mexican. 253 00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:07,167 "Megan fox. Question Mark." What's that mean? 254 00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:10,003 Megan fox. Come on. 255 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:11,713 You know what? 256 00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:14,591 You're one bad text away from getting blocked. 257 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:17,594 Yes, but one good text away from a high five. 258 00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:18,679 You accept these terms? 259 00:11:18,971 --> 00:11:19,972 Oh, it's on. 260 00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:24,768 In your perfect world, what would make this building awesome? 261 00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:26,895 I'm putting together kind of a wish list. 262 00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:29,523 I wish for a million wishes. 263 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:30,607 Yeah, 264 00:11:30,983 --> 00:11:32,502 no, I'm not a genie. I'm just talking about... 265 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:34,236 Then see you later, building. 266 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,588 Dwight: You can't possibly be serious. 267 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:36,798 I said, "see you later, building." 268 00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,699 Hey, Michael. Hey. 269 00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:41,094 I was thinking about some of the stuff you said earlier about China. 270 00:11:41,118 --> 00:11:42,119 Mmm. 271 00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:43,996 Pdloveto talk more about it. Yeah. 272 00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:45,747 Maybe over some coffee later? 273 00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,207 Sure. 274 00:11:50,586 --> 00:11:52,605 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you know what you just agreed to? 275 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:53,922 Just coffee, Jim. 276 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,382 No, it is not just coffee. 277 00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:58,302 He's trying to set you up, Michael. 278 00:11:58,468 --> 00:11:59,553 What's gonna happen is 279 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:01,138 he's gonna try to bring up whatever 280 00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:02,945 you're talking about in a very casual way. 281 00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:05,642 But secretly he'll be trying to trip you up. 282 00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:07,769 And when he does, boom, it's awful. 283 00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:09,271 Haven't you noticed that 284 00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:10,623 I don't bring up the tour de France around him? 285 00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:11,648 Yes. 286 00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:16,153 And then, he will smugly pay the check and make you feel so small. 287 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:20,824 All right, well, I just need to learn everything about China. 288 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,969 To be safe, I should learn everything about everything, 289 00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:24,620 but I don't have time, okay? Okay. 290 00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:26,246 I'll just learn about China 291 00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:30,667 and science and geography and math and literary. 292 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:31,793 No politics? 293 00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:34,046 I'm pretty good on politics. 294 00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:36,024 California is bankrupt. 295 00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:38,300 And California, California. 296 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,265 What? 297 00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:49,561 Parlay. My office. Five minutes. 298 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,521 Paday? 299 00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:54,816 Pirate code. He wants to meet. 300 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,944 So, everyone here knows pirate code? 301 00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,820 I understand it. I can't speak it. 302 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,825 Pam, I am not an unreasonable man. 303 00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:06,828 If you guys stay, I will stop watering down the soap. 304 00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:08,830 You've been watering down the soap? 305 00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:11,634 Why do you even need soap? Are you that bad at going to the bathroom? 306 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,669 We want everything back the way it was. 307 00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,045 You don't wanna move. 308 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,482 Moving is one of the most stressful things you can do in life. 309 00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:19,383 You'll probably just take it out on your kid. 310 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:22,552 Jim will turn to the drink. The family will fall apart. 311 00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:23,887 And 25 years from now, 312 00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:28,642 Cece will become world famous for stripping. 313 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:33,021 That's a sad story. I have another one. 314 00:13:33,105 --> 00:13:35,649 We move, the other tenants follow, 315 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:36,852 the bank takes the building, 316 00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,569 takes your farm, takes your car and beats the crap out of you. 317 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:40,946 Penniless, you die. 318 00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:44,825 And my daughter, Cece, dances on your grave fully clothed. 319 00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:56,420 Ryan: Where is Tibet? 320 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,505 Pass. 321 00:13:58,714 --> 00:13:59,715 When was China founded? 322 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,508 Pass. Two for two. Keep it up. 323 00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:02,592 Who is mao? 324 00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:05,929 Lifeline. 325 00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,139 Damn it, Michael. 326 00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:10,434 You are moments away from the smack down of your life. 327 00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:11,911 If you don't know something, 328 00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:14,015 steer the conversation back to something you do know. 329 00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:16,857 I could talk about boobs. I bet he knows nothing about boobs. 330 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,108 What do you know aboutboobs? 331 00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:22,880 Michael, I have to tell you something. 332 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,104 It's from rocky ll. Thank you. 333 00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,285 "This guy doesn't just wanna win, 334 00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,454 "you know, he wants to Bury you. 335 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,039 "He wants to humiliate you." 336 00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:33,999 Wait, wait, wait. How long is this gonna take? 337 00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:35,601 I'm, like, a quarter of the way through. 338 00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:36,626 Is it gonna be worth it? 339 00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:40,672 Just in case, Michael, I made you a cheat sheet. 340 00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:41,965 I don't need to cheat. 341 00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:43,175 Show him how to use it. 342 00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:44,801 10,706... 343 00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:46,094 Here it is, right here. 344 00:14:46,178 --> 00:14:47,429 Pull over. Pull over. 345 00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,223 Oh, my god. 346 00:14:50,474 --> 00:14:52,100 No way. 347 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,144 Man, look at that. 348 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,228 Yeah. 349 00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:56,688 There's no building. 350 00:14:58,023 --> 00:14:59,274 This can only mean one thing. 351 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,650 Building's underground. 352 00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,027 She was lying. 353 00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:05,030 Pam, Pam, Pam, Pam. 354 00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:06,907 Pam, Pam, Pam. 355 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:07,991 Yeah? 356 00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:09,326 Pam? 357 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,786 I'm Pam. What? 358 00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:12,621 Dwight: Oh. No, you're not. 359 00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:15,165 I'm sorry, we have a colleague with the same name. 360 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,708 Oh, that's funny. 361 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,335 You're not a liar too, are you? 362 00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:20,712 I've been known to bend the truth. 363 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,631 Damn it, Pam. Get out. 364 00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:25,121 Right now. Leave it. I mean it. Get the hell out of here. 365 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:32,015 I can't wait to do to Pam what I just did to Pam. 366 00:15:34,518 --> 00:15:35,519 Hey, Pam? 367 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:36,685 Yeah. 368 00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,021 You know, I'm the only one here 369 00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,707 that you haven't asked about the new office. 370 00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:42,025 I know, because you're the reason we're moving. 371 00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:44,361 Yeah, but I'm still an employee here, 372 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,044 and that part of me is really excited about the change of scenery. 373 00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:49,008 What's the square footage in the new place? 374 00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:50,534 I think it's something like... 375 00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:52,244 What's the exact square footage? 376 00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:54,537 Let me see. 377 00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:55,681 Dwight: How many offices are there? 378 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:57,457 I'll just look at the one-sheet myself. 379 00:15:57,541 --> 00:15:59,621 Actually, I don't know what I did with the one-sheet. 380 00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:02,963 You know, that's the problem. You only have one sheet. 381 00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:06,675 Oh, you're a funny guy, Pam. 382 00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,604 What's the first thing you guys are gonna do 383 00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,471 when you move into the new office? 384 00:16:11,555 --> 00:16:13,074 I'm gonna walk down the hall, and I'm gonna say, 385 00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:17,102 "wow, I can't believe this is real, but it is." 386 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:19,479 Mmm-hmm. I can't wait. 387 00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:23,733 I lied about some aspects of the building. 388 00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,002 It's still on a bike path, though, right? 389 00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:26,695 There's no building. It doesn't exist. 390 00:16:26,778 --> 00:16:27,863 What does that mean? 391 00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:30,551 I needed leverage, so I pulled those pictures off the Internet. 392 00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:32,325 It's just this... 393 00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:34,744 This office administrator thing, I don't want to... 394 00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:37,164 What? 395 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:40,500 Fail. I don't want to fail. Again. 396 00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:41,584 You didn't fail. 397 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,336 That's what you said about art school, 398 00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:45,172 and that's what you said about sales. 399 00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,257 And you didn't fail those things either. 400 00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:54,306 Well, I'm not an artist, and I'm not a salesman. 401 00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:55,557 So, what would you call it? 402 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:58,768 Hey. Hey, hey, hey. 403 00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:02,981 Michael, the reason I asked you down here for this chat is 404 00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:04,774 I've been thinking that your fears 405 00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:06,610 about China are a bit exaggerated. 406 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,821 Did you know that China has a new missile 407 00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:13,074 that can sink a us. Naval carrier 900 miles off the coast? 408 00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:14,159 We have missiles, too. 409 00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:16,119 Did you also know that China has secretly 410 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:18,121 been expanding its nuclear arsenal? 411 00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:19,414 But what do I know? 412 00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,374 I mean, that's just according to the Pentagon. 413 00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:22,542 Our Pentagon. 414 00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:28,632 I wasn't here. 415 00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:29,966 What? 416 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,678 I wasn't here. It's a pretty common saying. 417 00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:35,722 You may want to log it away for future use. 418 00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,432 Yeah. Vveh, thanks. 419 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:43,730 China has been loaning us billions upon billions of dollars. 420 00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:46,942 We are going to be owing them for the rest of our lives, 421 00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:48,026 and they will control us. 422 00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:52,906 Actually, we're in a mild recession right now, I'll give you that, 423 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,468 but people use China as the boogeyman for all their problems. 424 00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:57,160 In the 1980s, it was Japan. 425 00:17:57,244 --> 00:18:00,413 How then do you explain that in the past year 426 00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:03,708 manufacturing in China has risen by 17%, 427 00:18:04,376 --> 00:18:06,795 and in the us. It has only risen by 8%? 428 00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:09,232 Do you really think that manufacturing is a relevant indicator 429 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,716 of where the world economy's heading in 2011? 430 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:14,469 Do you know the comparative expansion 431 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,054 of, say, the information sector? 432 00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,640 I'd say that's far more relevant, wouldn't you? 433 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,740 Hello. Hello. 434 00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,867 You're breaking the law. Impossible. I love the law. 435 00:18:37,993 --> 00:18:39,452 Read article 19. 436 00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:42,297 There are certain standards that you have to maintain the building at, 437 00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:45,292 and that includes comfortable temperatures and adequate lighting. 438 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:48,295 It also means no more cutting the tampons in two, 439 00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,547 and no more tampering with the toilet paper. 440 00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:55,343 I see I've underestimated you, and I didn't think that was possible. 441 00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:56,886 Nate. 442 00:18:58,263 --> 00:18:59,389 Re-ply the paper. 443 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,075 I don't think it goes that way. 444 00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:02,267 Re-ply it! 445 00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:06,771 Don't worry about the coffee. It's on me. 446 00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:07,856 Yeah, I figured that. 447 00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:12,652 Michael, I am so happy that we were able to have this little chat. 448 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:15,280 Wait. 449 00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:17,949 You forgetting something? 450 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:19,576 What? This chat. 451 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:22,996 Two men. One white. One latino. 452 00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:26,458 A boss and a money cruncher. I could fire you. 453 00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:29,044 Fire him. No. Show mercy. 454 00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:30,378 But here we are. 455 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,755 What's your point? 456 00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:33,214 My point is 457 00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:41,014 that as long as people like you and me don't stop talking, 458 00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:43,141 nobody can stop the usa. 459 00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:45,352 Yeah, go, girl. Right. Yes. 460 00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:49,773 I am talking about freedom, about choice. 461 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,608 America... 462 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,568 I don't think you need to worry, 463 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,570 because if you want to beat China, you will. 464 00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,739 If you don't, that's fine. 465 00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:01,659 That, my friend, is your victory. 466 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,538 You know, a lot of people say that 467 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:07,290 if you dig long enough and hard enough, 468 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,542 you will get to China, and that may be true, 469 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,378 but what they don't tell you is that 470 00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:16,132 if you dig long enough and hard enough in a conversation, 471 00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:17,550 you get to a friend. 472 00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:22,389 So, here is to conversation. 473 00:20:22,514 --> 00:20:23,515 That's not... 474 00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:26,309 Raise your cups on high. 475 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,311 Case closed. Yeah! 476 00:20:30,105 --> 00:20:33,400 That wasn't what we were... That wasn't the whole... 477 00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:36,778 They say the best vampires don't bleed their victims dry, 478 00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:39,114 but give them the strength so that they can bounce back, 479 00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:40,323 only to be fed on again. 480 00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:43,118 I spared Pam, and I might feast 481 00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:45,537 off of her profits for years to come. 482 00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:48,790 I let Pam win. 483 00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:53,503 I was not motivated by compassion. 484 00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:56,089 I have no compassion. 485 00:20:56,172 --> 00:21:01,261 Make sure you got that. "Not motivated by compassion." 486 00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:13,189 "Come to parking lot. Crazy pigeon action." 487 00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:20,155 Shh. 488 00:21:20,238 --> 00:21:21,739 You're gonna scare them away. 489 00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:30,290 That's a text. Yeah, right? 490 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:32,375 That's your new standard.