1 00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:05,047 Next up, secretary schrute will read the minutes from Sunday's meeting. 2 00:00:08,092 --> 00:00:10,928 "Minutes from previous meeting, of knights of the night." 3 00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:12,805 No! Jim, hey. 4 00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,576 This meeting is for knights of the night only. 5 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,852 Knights of the night are volunteer crime patrollers. 6 00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,454 We're often compared to the guardian angels, 7 00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:21,238 but we could not be more different from them. 8 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:24,984 Seriously, we are nothing like the guardian angels. 9 00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:27,653 I mean, broad strokes purposes, sure. 10 00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:28,946 Think guardian angels. 11 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,781 One of our many recent good deeds, 12 00:00:30,948 --> 00:00:32,742 we set out to capture the Scranton strangler. 13 00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,494 Mission accomplished. 14 00:00:35,578 --> 00:00:36,913 Not by us. 15 00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:39,457 I'm actuallyjust looking for my BlackBerry, so carry on. 16 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,667 No, no, no, no, no. I see how this movie ends. 17 00:00:41,751 --> 00:00:43,586 You make fun of me, everyone laughs. 18 00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:44,837 (Sarcastically) Ha, ha, ha. 19 00:00:44,921 --> 00:00:45,922 Screw you. 20 00:00:46,172 --> 00:00:48,925 Dwight, don't be bothered by your friend's presence. 21 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:50,757 What are you gonna do now? 22 00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,887 You gonna make fun of our leader's weird voice, huh? 23 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:55,556 "Dwight, don't be bothered..." (Babbling mockingly) 24 00:00:55,848 --> 00:00:56,933 Over the line, Jim. 25 00:00:57,141 --> 00:00:59,518 I'm just looking for my phone, so pretend I'm not here. 26 00:00:59,602 --> 00:01:02,855 Fine. "Minutes from previous meeting of knights of the night." 27 00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:04,726 It's our official name, Jim. 28 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:05,858 Sounds good. 29 00:01:05,942 --> 00:01:08,569 "Reflective strips were glued to patrol jackets. 30 00:01:08,653 --> 00:01:11,322 "Knights went outside with flashlights to test them." 31 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,490 Smart. 32 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,867 And the rest was just boiler plate stuff, that's... 33 00:01:14,951 --> 00:01:16,345 Go ahead and read it, some people weren't here. 34 00:01:16,369 --> 00:01:17,411 Okay. 35 00:01:17,495 --> 00:01:20,164 Knights stayed outside to play flashlight tag. 36 00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:22,166 Oh, come on. That sounds awesome. 37 00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:23,751 It was pretty cool. Was it? 38 00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:25,002 It was fun. 39 00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:26,407 It was... it was pretty awesome. 40 00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:27,713 (Chuckung) 41 00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:29,674 (Cell phone ringing) 42 00:01:30,341 --> 00:01:32,885 Hey, yeah. No, I got it. 43 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:34,762 Just leaving now. 44 00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:59,203 January 3, 2011. 45 00:01:59,537 --> 00:02:01,914 A day which will live infamously. 46 00:02:02,707 --> 00:02:06,210 Holly partridge flax, othennise known as Holly, 47 00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:09,463 othennise othen/vise known as a living, breathing angel, 48 00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:11,382 is engaged to another man. 49 00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:14,051 This is freaking me out. I... 50 00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:17,638 Okay, let's just switch to the happy video, okay? 51 00:02:17,722 --> 00:02:19,974 No, no, no, no. Let's push through. We'll do this. 52 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:22,338 Today will either be the best or the worst day of my life. 53 00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:25,021 Holly gave a.J. An ultimatum. 54 00:02:25,104 --> 00:02:27,606 He either proposes by new year's or they break up. 55 00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,692 Now if she's engaged, I'm gonna go crazy. 56 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,819 And I'm gonna start attacking people. 57 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:34,238 If she's not engaged, in all honesty, 58 00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:35,507 I may just burn this whole place 59 00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:36,675 to the ground out of happiness. 60 00:02:36,699 --> 00:02:40,077 Either way, I am going to need some talking down. 61 00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:43,622 And nobody talks me down like myself in a video talking me down. 62 00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,458 Michael, I know what you're thinking. 63 00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:47,894 Holly is engaged to somebody else and you want to kill yourself. 64 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,920 That may seem like a good idea, but it's not. 65 00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:51,005 (Laughing) 66 00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:52,214 Snot. 67 00:02:53,049 --> 00:02:55,885 Sorry, it sounded like you said, "it's snot." I'm so sorry. 68 00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:58,346 Okay, so killing yourself... 69 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,389 (Both laughing) 70 00:03:00,473 --> 00:03:01,974 I was just thinking about snot. 71 00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:06,979 Good morning. 72 00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:08,898 Hey, guys. Uh, fun thing. 73 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:11,609 The index cards on your desk are resolution cards. 74 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,702 You write your new year's resolution on them, 75 00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:17,365 I'll collect them, and then display the cards on... 76 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,575 (Mimicking drum roll) 77 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:22,036 This. Resolution board. 78 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:24,288 Wow, did your baby draw that? 79 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,499 The glitter is blinding. 80 00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:29,126 I think it's good. It's gonna be fun. 81 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,711 I recently met sue, 82 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,714 the office administrator at Vance refrigeration. 83 00:03:33,798 --> 00:03:36,425 She has this awesome wall full of fun initiatives 84 00:03:36,509 --> 00:03:38,219 and morale boosters and stuff. 85 00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:41,222 Sue just goes for it. She's awesome. 86 00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:44,433 I know sue, she's not that great. 87 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,144 And you know her husband's in a wheelchair, right? 88 00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:49,271 Okay, champagne. Happy. 89 00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:52,316 Sponge. Sad. 90 00:03:52,483 --> 00:03:53,567 To soak up my tears. 91 00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:57,279 Gummy bears and gummy worms. 92 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,532 Bears sad, worms happy. Come on, Erin. 93 00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:02,410 Ukuleles. Happy? 94 00:04:02,535 --> 00:04:03,744 Sad. Something to break. 95 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,706 Chocolates. For you, job well done. 96 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,500 Thank you. 97 00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:11,252 And two bottles of scotch. 98 00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:12,420 Both sad. 99 00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:14,588 And did you get the tickets? 100 00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:16,715 I did, I did indeed. 101 00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:19,593 Two front row center to Paula poundstone, live in poughkeepsie. 102 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:20,928 Holly's favorite. 103 00:04:21,053 --> 00:04:23,253 I hope she doesn't call us up on stage, that would suck. 104 00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:26,267 "Hey, you think you could do my job better?" "I don't know." 105 00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:28,310 "What's your name?" "Michael." 106 00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:29,687 (Both laughing) 107 00:04:29,854 --> 00:04:31,939 I'm really excited for Michael either way. 108 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:36,569 Because if Holly chooses to be with him, he will be so, so happy. 109 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:40,614 And if not, he'll be avoiding the biggest mistake of his life. 110 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,492 Oh, hey, guys. I'd like to introduce you 111 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,536 to a new little friend of mine. 112 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,746 His name is new year's resolution board. 113 00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:51,375 (Staggering) Shut up. Hello. 114 00:04:52,001 --> 00:04:53,520 (Whispering) What happened? Is there a ring? 115 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:55,546 So, high five me. We're back. 116 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:56,714 To a happy... 117 00:04:57,506 --> 00:05:00,134 Woo! Look at those. Mittens. Those a present? 118 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:01,635 Come on. They're warm. 119 00:05:01,719 --> 00:05:03,637 Those are so fuzzy and warm. 120 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,556 Let me feel those. Let me feel that. 121 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,409 Put her there. Give me a good firm one. 122 00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:08,577 Ooh, that's a good, firm handshake. 123 00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:09,685 You're hired. 124 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:12,354 Yes, well let's get right into the Anderson account, shall we? 125 00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:14,148 Okay. Yes, yes, right away. 126 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:15,941 Yes, yes. Right away. 127 00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:17,067 Okay. 128 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:19,671 (Whispering) Hey, hey, hey. Want me to crank the thermostat to 90? 129 00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:21,673 Smoke her out? She can't keep those mittens on forever. 130 00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,991 Yes. No, what? Stop. Yes. 131 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,246 Congrat... 132 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:30,498 Wow. Oh. 133 00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:32,875 Oh, my god. That's it, that's it. 134 00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:37,338 Oh, I get it. Everybody knows about the ultimatum. 135 00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:38,756 Yes, I told everyone. 136 00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:41,050 Ha, ha! 137 00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:44,386 Hey, right back at you, bitch. 138 00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:48,182 Happy, happy, happy, happy! 139 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:49,430 (Both exclaiming joyfully) 140 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:50,809 (Blowing party whistle) 141 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:54,897 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 142 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,608 Okay, calm down! Breathe. 143 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:58,835 I'm trying. (Upbeat music playing) 144 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,152 I said breathe. 145 00:06:00,236 --> 00:06:01,320 I'm trying. 146 00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,989 Wait a second. Are you listening to music? 147 00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:05,074 What? 148 00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:06,534 Shut that off. 149 00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:08,369 I'm not listening to the music. 150 00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,704 Fine, just go crazy for a little while. 151 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,209 Looking good. You're looking good. 152 00:06:18,254 --> 00:06:20,130 I gotcha, I gotcha! 153 00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:22,258 I'm pulling you back! 154 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,427 Michael dance-off! 155 00:06:26,679 --> 00:06:27,721 That's nice. That's nice. 156 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,057 Me, okay! 157 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,725 Go! Oh, yeah! 158 00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,435 Nice! We're gonna calm down later. 159 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,020 Pntdomgit oh, yeah! 160 00:06:35,104 --> 00:06:38,524 Oh, yeah! Right there, right there! 161 00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:40,109 Oh, yeah! (Screaming) 162 00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:45,257 Hey, Dwight. I'm collecting resolution cards. 163 00:06:45,281 --> 00:06:46,281 Not doing that. 164 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:47,324 Why not? 165 00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:50,077 I've achieved plenty, and there's no better than the best. 166 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,245 Drink less caffeine. 167 00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,372 That's a good one, Pam. Here's mine. 168 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:56,458 "Learn to cook for one." 169 00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,210 Yeah, I love cooking. 170 00:06:58,294 --> 00:07:01,005 But I always find myself throwing out half the food that I prepare. 171 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:04,091 So I figured it's time to just start preparing the right amount of food 172 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,552 for the right number of people, which is one. 173 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,040 Well, maybe you'll meet someone. 174 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,055 No, some people just don't meet someone. 175 00:07:10,139 --> 00:07:12,057 I'm fine with it. Really. 176 00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:13,601 This is not a pity party. 177 00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,644 It's not a party at all. It's just sad. 178 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:18,439 Angela. Yes. 179 00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:21,025 "Make time for romance." 180 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,360 Who's the senator? My boyfriend. 181 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,309 Oh, you mean the state senator. 182 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:28,616 I'm sorry, I was confused 'cause you accidentally wrote "the senator." 183 00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:31,201 Wait, wait, wait. It's that easy? 184 00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:33,954 That's not a resolution. That's just something I wanna do. 185 00:07:34,038 --> 00:07:36,290 Okay, fine. I can do that. 186 00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:43,797 My resolution is "meet a loose woman." 187 00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:44,882 Oh, god. 188 00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:47,092 That's a good one. Yeah? 189 00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,403 You know what? That's my new one. 190 00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:49,553 I'm taking that one, too. 191 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,846 Awesome. 192 00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,640 You know what you guys should do? 193 00:07:52,723 --> 00:07:53,932 Go to the book store at lunch. 194 00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,852 There's tons of cuties and it's easy to talk to them. 195 00:07:57,353 --> 00:07:58,896 "Hey, what book is that?" 196 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,481 "Cool, let's hang out tonight." 197 00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:01,899 "Sex already? Whoa." 198 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,151 The book store? It's that easy? 199 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,545 I'll come with you, show you how it's done. 200 00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:06,820 Okay. I'll drive. 201 00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:08,822 My resolution is to read more. 202 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:10,991 And if someone else is driving me to the book store, 203 00:08:11,075 --> 00:08:13,661 I can eat my pb and j in the car. 204 00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:17,247 2011 is coming up all Darryl. 205 00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:21,585 Hello. Somebody's got a new phone. 206 00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:23,295 Yeah. That is neat. 207 00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:26,006 I got it for Christmas. I'm so out of my league here. 208 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,467 (Imitating e.T.) E.T. Phone Holly. 209 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,219 Holly like phone? 210 00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:33,180 (Imitating e.T.) Holly misses old phone. 211 00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:37,851 New phone is confusing, gets bad reception. 212 00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:39,144 Oh, bummer. 213 00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:40,479 Bummer. 214 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,772 Reese's pieces. 215 00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:43,148 Reese's pieces? 216 00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:44,608 Kelly: Oh, god. Please stop. 217 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:48,737 (Normal voice) I still have my old phone. This thing, indestructible. 218 00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:53,117 (Cell phone ringing) 219 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,307 (Normal voice) Oh, I should get this. 220 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:56,870 (Clearing throat) 221 00:08:57,121 --> 00:08:58,205 Hey. 222 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,959 No. Don't go see that one. I want to see that together. 223 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,169 Yeah, go see that action one. 224 00:09:05,129 --> 00:09:06,213 (Laughs) Okay. 225 00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:08,424 I love you, too. 226 00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:11,969 All right. 227 00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:16,807 Holly doesn't seem to be engaged, 228 00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:19,101 but she's talking to a.J. Like she is. 229 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,436 I can't figure it out. 230 00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,936 Do you think she's already dating a different a.J.? 231 00:09:23,147 --> 00:09:24,231 I don't think so. 232 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,994 When you broke it off with Roy did you still tell him you loved him? 233 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,194 No. But you did still love him. 234 00:09:29,278 --> 00:09:30,918 I'm not gonna have... Do you love him now? 235 00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:33,699 Just talk to her. 236 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:35,159 No, she'd just resent me. 237 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,494 Or worse, she would think of me as her friend. 238 00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,329 "Oh, hi, friend." (Exclaims in disgust) 239 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:40,914 I'll talk to her, Michael. 240 00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,207 You think she'd talk to you? 241 00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:43,333 Why wouldn't she? 242 00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,669 That's true, she's really nice. She'd talk to anybody. 243 00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:49,057 Why don't you bring Erin to balance you out? 244 00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,091 There's a plan. 245 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,386 All right, we should divide up by section. 246 00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,430 I will take romance and travel. 247 00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,265 I'll take the entirety of the second floor. 248 00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,267 I got that cutie behind the counter. 249 00:10:06,482 --> 00:10:09,109 Well, if you read a lot you should check out our e-readers. 250 00:10:09,193 --> 00:10:10,694 They're really neat. 251 00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:12,362 Oh, I work at a paper company. 252 00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,114 Those things terrify me. 253 00:10:14,198 --> 00:10:15,991 They could put us out of business, you know? 254 00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,927 Heard those machines hold, like, 10 books at once. 255 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,369 Actually, it's 10,000. 256 00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,038 Holy (bleep). What? 257 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:22,706 Let me see that. 258 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,584 So light. Like a croissant. 259 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,336 Hi. 260 00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,046 Welcome. 261 00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:30,826 Let us know if you need anything. 262 00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,424 Thanks. 263 00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:35,636 Why did we pretend like we work here? 264 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,054 Is that what we were doing? 265 00:10:37,221 --> 00:10:38,347 I don't know... 266 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:39,640 Hey, how'd you do? 267 00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:41,725 Good. Yeah. Good, real good. Yeah. 268 00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:43,453 I think we kind of nailed it. Yeah, pretty much. 269 00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:45,957 But, you know, this place is kind of tapped out, so let's roll. 270 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,606 Okay. Cool. 271 00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:48,899 What'd you get? 272 00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,192 A book about oceans. 273 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,544 Oh, really? What else? Let me see. 274 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,153 That's porn. 275 00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:56,240 Pornography. Old lady. Nasty porn. 276 00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:01,328 (Whispering) Follow my lead. 277 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,496 Hey, want some company? 278 00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:03,747 Want some company? 279 00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:05,249 Oh, sure. Have a seat. 280 00:11:07,251 --> 00:11:08,371 Holly: How were your breaks? 281 00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:09,878 Oh, really good. I went to Portugal. 282 00:11:09,962 --> 00:11:11,004 I went to Portugal. 283 00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:12,965 Oh, wow. You went together? 284 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,675 No. 285 00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,928 So, I just gotta know. What's going on with you and a.J.? 286 00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:19,263 Nothing really happened. 287 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:21,223 I mean, I know I made a big deal 288 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,975 about this whole new year's deadline, 289 00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:25,352 but, it came and went and we're still together. 290 00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:26,871 You didn't break up with a.J. At all? 291 00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:29,176 I mean, not even for a week to make him buy you a present? 292 00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:32,359 It just wasn't fair of me to give him an ultimatum in the first place. 293 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,444 The whole thing is totally my fault. 294 00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:37,197 But we're gonna be just fine. Just fine. 295 00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:38,282 Both: Hmm. 296 00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:43,996 (Tires screeching) 297 00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:46,123 Whoa! Hold on. 298 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,375 I am not going back until I fulfill my resolution. 299 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,168 Oh, no, no, no. Uh-uh. 300 00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:52,421 Dwight: Come on, why not? 301 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,148 I've never been in one before. 302 00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:56,592 I'm tired of being Mr. Perfect role model all the time. 303 00:11:57,009 --> 00:11:58,169 I'm telling you, don't do it. 304 00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,304 I got nothing against strip clubs, 305 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:03,390 but I do have something against them at noon on a Monday. 306 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,601 The day shift at a strip club? 307 00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:07,561 You can't UN-see that. 308 00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:10,290 Well, we can't just go back. I mean, we came out to meet women. 309 00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:12,399 Hey, there's a roller rink across the street. 310 00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:13,969 There's always chicks at the rink. 311 00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,045 What kind of chicks are you gonna meet there? 312 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,280 I don't know. Single moms at a skating party? 313 00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:21,533 Sweet 16, 10-year reunion parties. 314 00:12:21,617 --> 00:12:23,577 Chicks fall down, need help getting back up. 315 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,579 Roller derby practice. 316 00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:26,872 (Growling joyfully) 317 00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:28,582 We're going skating. 318 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,542 (Upbeat music playing) 319 00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:41,654 The goal of this meeting is to get 320 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,513 everybody excited about their resolutions. 321 00:12:44,723 --> 00:12:46,725 Who's been good about their resolution so far? 322 00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:49,436 Erin, tell us about it. 323 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,814 Well, my goal was to learn a new word every single day. 324 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:56,026 And I must say that it is going immensely. 325 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:57,527 Cool. 326 00:12:57,611 --> 00:13:01,323 Here's a little "way to go" gift from sabre. 327 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:03,283 Intercepted. Hey... Gabe. 328 00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:04,368 Oops-e-doops. 329 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:07,120 Creed, I notice you don't have a resolution on the board. 330 00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:08,372 What's yours? 331 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:09,706 I want to do a cartwheel. 332 00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,041 But real casual, like. 333 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,960 Not make a big deal out of it. 334 00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:16,797 But I know everybody saw it, just one stunning, gorgeous cartwheel. 335 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:17,965 How's it going? 336 00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:19,967 I'm having a little trouble motivating. 337 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:23,512 One of the hardest parts about making resolutions is keeping them. 338 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:26,890 In fact, most resolutions are abandoned by February. 339 00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:28,684 Orsooner yeah. 340 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:30,644 It's not a joke. But that's okay. 341 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:33,188 Because it's not about being perfect, it's about trying. 342 00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:36,358 In fact, why don't we go around and confess some of the ways 343 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,201 that we've already fudged on our resolutions? 344 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:42,489 Well, I said that I would eat more vegetables, and I haven't yet. 345 00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:44,700 But it's okay. I still have time. 346 00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:46,660 Since last year I ate none. 347 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:50,664 Okay, well, my confession is that today I had a sip of coffee. 348 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,124 But that's fine. Is it? 349 00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:55,002 Yes, because with all of your support, 350 00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:59,006 by this time next year maybe I'll be down to one glass of iced tea a week. 351 00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:01,550 Next year? Come on. I mean, what is the point? 352 00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:02,926 What is the point of that? 353 00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:05,679 I made a resolution to Ross. And I did it. 354 00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:07,472 12:01, January 1st. 355 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,057 Bam! Blood everywhere. 356 00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:11,351 Not all of us are Michael "freaking" Scott. 357 00:14:11,435 --> 00:14:14,062 What is wrong with you people? Can't you stick to anything? 358 00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:17,566 Erin, I want you to go to the kitchen and get me some vegetables. 359 00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:20,736 Creed, you say you want to do a cartwheel? Nothing's stopping you. 360 00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:22,654 Come on, old man. Do a cartwheel! 361 00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:24,031 Well, I can't. I don't know how. 362 00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:26,634 You're just going to somersault around for the rest of your life. 363 00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:29,202 And you know what's gonna be on your tombstone? "Loser." 364 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,055 My tombstone's already made, thank you. 365 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,247 Just do a cartwheel! 366 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,582 This is all I could find. 367 00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:36,793 Eat it. 368 00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:38,879 Pam: You don't have to do that, Kevin. 369 00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,797 Oh, no. I'm glad this is happening. 370 00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:43,050 Thank you, Michael. 371 00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:44,718 Why are you eating stem first? 372 00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:47,471 This is a new food for me. How else should I eat it? 373 00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,514 Gabe: The other way. 374 00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:54,061 Can I get some cheez whiz? Or hollandaise? 375 00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:55,771 No, no. No cheez whiz, no hollandaise, 376 00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,481 no chocolate sauce, just eat it. 377 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,292 Come on, here comes the airplane. There you go. 378 00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:01,485 Open, open, into the hangar, there you go. 379 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,236 Pam: Oh, Michael. Yeah, eat it. 380 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,214 Put it in your mouth, and just eat it. 381 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,364 God, I hate it. 382 00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:08,134 I don't care whether you hate it, you said you'd do it! 383 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:09,177 Michael, Michael. All right. 384 00:15:09,201 --> 00:15:11,161 Eat it, eat it! Oh, my god. 385 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,412 You're killing him, Michael. 386 00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,782 All right, all right, all right! Shh! Angela: Michael! 387 00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:18,001 (Mouth full) Okay, I ate the fluffy part. Can I be done? 388 00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:20,215 Let me see if you swallowed it. Open your mouth. 389 00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,590 Under your tongue. Oh, god! 390 00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:26,760 You guys are pathetic. 391 00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:32,909 Can I get some candy or something? 392 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,893 No, you can't have any candy! I'll get him water. 393 00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:36,520 Pam: Okay, Michael. Just settle down. 394 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:38,480 Pam: Um... 395 00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:41,650 (All groaning) 396 00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:43,193 Oh, god! 397 00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:48,573 Michael: (Imitating e.T.) Holly flax. 398 00:15:48,657 --> 00:15:49,950 Yes, Michael? 399 00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:52,369 Not Michael, e.T. 400 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,787 What's up? 401 00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:58,017 (Normal voice) Well, I just want to talk about what happened in there. 402 00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:00,335 Oh, no, Michael. I don't want to talk about it with you. 403 00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:03,046 And I'm fine, I just... I don't want to talk about it. 404 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,214 Okay. 405 00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:36,180 Michael: Holly, come on in. Thanks for coming. 406 00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:39,499 I thought there should be an hr rep here for this. 407 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,003 So Kevin and creed, 408 00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:44,981 things got a little bit intense in the conference room. 409 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,131 You think? 410 00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,424 And I wanted to apologize. 411 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,676 These resolutions should be about you, 412 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:51,845 and I made it about me. 413 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:53,138 And it was none of my beeswax. 414 00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:54,347 You were super mean. 415 00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:56,308 It was insensitive and I am sorry. 416 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,852 It was traumatizing, Michael. 417 00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:02,105 I wouldn't be surprised if I never ate a vegetable again. 418 00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:06,693 I really wanted you to follow through on your resolutions. 419 00:17:06,985 --> 00:17:08,612 The cartwheel, the veggies. 420 00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:12,490 I... I care about you. Very much. 421 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:16,328 And you loom so large in my heart 422 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,788 that I crossed the line. 423 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,791 Okay, Michael, no offense. 424 00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:24,252 But you need to get your own life. 425 00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:25,962 You're right. 426 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:30,300 And I hope that we can still be friends. 427 00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:33,303 I don't think I'm there yet, boss. 428 00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:35,722 Well, I am. Okay. 429 00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,260 (Voice squeaking) All right. 430 00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:39,601 Kevin: I'm gonna help you. 431 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,061 Okay, okay. 432 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,817 Hey, it's just you. Anything you want to hear? 433 00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:52,656 Dave Matthews Band. 434 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,324 No hits, deep tracks only. 435 00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:55,825 Okay. 436 00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:58,495 (New song playing) I said, no hits. 437 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:14,094 Ryan: I just feel blocked. I feel like I'm living... 438 00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:15,512 Hey, Ryan. Yeah. 439 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,639 How's your fart project coming? 440 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,140 That's real, real classy, Kevin. 441 00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:20,701 Hey, was it me or you that just shoved 442 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,102 the butt end of a pound of broccoli 443 00:18:22,185 --> 00:18:24,187 into my mouth because Michael told me to? 444 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:26,564 Kevin, don't. 445 00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,609 Come on. 446 00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:31,152 Oh, Pam? Soda. Caffeine. 447 00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:34,447 Yeah, just a little. I have a lot to deal with today. 448 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,408 Well, if you don't have to do them... 449 00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:38,844 Meredith, what are you doing? I could be pregnant. 450 00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:40,036 Okay, no. 451 00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,664 Oh, my resolution was to get more attention. 452 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:43,957 Ryan: Nope, she's lying. 453 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,750 Kevin: Hey, Ryan. 454 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,210 (Blowing raspberry) 455 00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:48,586 (Farting) 456 00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:51,172 One, two, three. 457 00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,259 I did it. I did a cartwheel. 458 00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:55,802 (Bleep) You! (Bleep) You! 459 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:56,928 Oh, god! 460 00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:58,012 Okay, that's it. 461 00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,055 God! 462 00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:07,939 Lesson learned. 463 00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:12,569 What's up? 464 00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:14,154 Hey, where'd you go? 465 00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,364 To the arcade. Oh, cool. 466 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,325 Why, did you meet someone? 467 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:19,826 Yeah. I did, actually. 468 00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:21,995 His name is Andy. 469 00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:24,497 And he roller skates like a Greek god. And you know what? 470 00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:26,666 I kind of like hanging out with him. 471 00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,335 Right on, son. 472 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,962 Gentlemen. 473 00:19:31,046 --> 00:19:32,922 And where did you go? 474 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,132 Strip club. 475 00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:36,718 I was looking at the strippers at the strip club. 476 00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:38,970 Right. So that's it, guys? 477 00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:41,014 If you want I can put on the strobe. 478 00:19:43,058 --> 00:19:44,351 (Dance music playing) 479 00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:47,103 All: Yeah! 480 00:19:50,774 --> 00:19:51,775 (Andy whooping) 481 00:20:01,493 --> 00:20:02,577 Do you want to keep this? 482 00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:06,081 Do you want to keep this? 483 00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,290 Yeah. 484 00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:10,710 Do you wanna keep this? 485 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,045 No, you can toss them. 486 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:18,009 My resolution? I never want to make Holly cry again. 487 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,388 Unless it's from laughing too hard. 488 00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:24,474 Or making love too beautifully. 489 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,647 Holly: We're gonna be just fine. 490 00:20:33,316 --> 00:20:35,036 You know how you say something over and over 491 00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:37,612 and the words start to sound weird? 492 00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:39,572 Going to be just fine. 493 00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:42,909 Just fine, just fine, just fine. 494 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:47,580 I just think we need to cool things down for a while. 495 00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,625 Yeah, a break. 496 00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:53,503 At least until I get back to nashua. 497 00:20:54,546 --> 00:20:56,089 Yeah, I'm sure. 498 00:20:58,842 --> 00:21:01,928 Look at where you're going to be doing the cartwheel. 499 00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:03,656 So look where you're going to be placing your hand. 500 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,181 Mmm-hmm. So pick a spot. 501 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:06,975 You ready to do this? Yes, sir. 502 00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:09,161 You know what? I'm gonna stay here as long as it takes. 503 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:10,830 I really appreciate it. I'm gonna spot you. 504 00:21:10,854 --> 00:21:12,147 Spot you. 505 00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:16,860 I did it! 506 00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:18,652 You did? 507 00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:19,696 A perfect cartwheel. 508 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:20,780 (Laughing) 509 00:21:20,864 --> 00:21:21,948 Okay, good! 510 00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:24,492 What a rush! That's all I had to do all year. 511 00:21:24,576 --> 00:21:26,202 Congratulations. 512 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:29,539 All right. Well, all right, see you tomorrow.