1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:03,004
Everybody, can I please
have your attention?

2
00:00:03,296 --> 00:00:05,965
Ryan and I have
a huge announcement.

3
00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:08,384
Oh, my gosh! Pam: Wow.

4
00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:12,263
Over the weekend, Ryan
Bailey Howard and I got divorced.

5
00:00:12,555 --> 00:00:14,182
Sweet. Free ring.

6
00:00:15,308 --> 00:00:17,768
Divorced? Just so you
know, it's totally amicable.

7
00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:20,688
We're fine. We don't need
people here to take sides.

8
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:22,899
The last thing that we
want is any kind of drama.

9
00:00:23,608 --> 00:00:26,194
Wait, I... can you back
up? What's the story?

10
00:00:26,277 --> 00:00:28,237
We were having a beautiful
weekend in the poconos.

11
00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:30,114
We were making love constantly.

12
00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:32,825
We saw the sun rise,
and Ryan was crying a lot.

13
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,428
That's not a relevant
detail. And in the morning,

14
00:00:34,452 --> 00:00:35,953
we walked by a chapel,

15
00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:38,581
and we stopped suddenly,
and Ryan said,

16
00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:40,666
"I don't think I should be
married to you anymore."

17
00:00:42,418 --> 00:00:45,171
Wait... sorry, when
did you get married?

18
00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:48,507
Um, like, a week ago. We got
really wasted, and it just felt right.

19
00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:49,967
And you didn't invite any of us?

20
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,761
We are getting divorced, Andy!

21
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,971
This is such a raw time.

22
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:56,033
God, baby, you know, with
people's reactions to this,

23
00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:57,642
I wonder if we made a mistake.

24
00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:00,394
No, with the messed
up laws in this country,

25
00:01:00,478 --> 00:01:03,689
I don't want to be married
until everyone can be married.

26
00:01:03,773 --> 00:01:04,899
You know what, Ryan?

27
00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,567
I talked to the other gay guys,

28
00:01:06,651 --> 00:01:09,004
and we're okay with it. We all
agreed it's fine for you to get married.

29
00:01:09,028 --> 00:01:11,906
No. No, Oscar.
Not until everyone can.

30
00:01:12,198 --> 00:01:13,438
Kelly: Ryan, I changed my mind.

31
00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:14,531
Okay, fine. You know what?

32
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,993
This actually isn't
amicable at all,

33
00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:18,329
and we actually do
need people to take sides.

34
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,455
Who's on my side?

35
00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:24,043
And who is on my side?

36
00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:51,028
All right, bye. Bye.

37
00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:52,738
Let's go. Just a minute!

38
00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:55,116
How long do we have
to wait? For what?

39
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:56,867
You broke up with
a.J. Weeks ago.

40
00:01:57,243 --> 00:01:58,911
Don't you have a
sales call to go on?

41
00:01:58,995 --> 00:02:00,579
I don't understand.
I really don't.

42
00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:03,749
I mean, we know we're gonna
start dating. Why not now?

43
00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:05,251
We don't know that. Sure we do.

44
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,795
Why is it such a certainty that
we're supposed to be together?

45
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,630
Why does the sun
rise in the morning?

46
00:02:09,714 --> 00:02:11,465
Why do magnets stick together?

47
00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:13,884
Because everybody
says so. Everybody.

48
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:16,304
Michael, I can't keep
getting into a situation

49
00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:18,681
where I date whoever
I'm working with.

50
00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:20,349
Well, you could understand that.

51
00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:22,310
Yeah, I understand.
I just don't agree.

52
00:02:22,435 --> 00:02:25,021
Vveh, youdont have
to agree. Yes, I do.

53
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:27,690
No, youdont yes, ldo.

54
00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,108
No, you can have
your own opinion,

55
00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:30,544
and I can have mine.
Michael: I have my own opinion,

56
00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:32,820
and my opinion is to
disagree with you. (Exhales)

57
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:35,197
He's gonna be a lot of fun
to drive around in a car with.

58
00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:36,949
Oh, you'll get through it, hon.

59
00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:39,952
Just make a game out
of it. A funny Jim game.

60
00:02:41,454 --> 00:02:43,497
That's it? That's all I get?

61
00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:46,342
Even after all the hard work I put
into celebrating your talent today.

62
00:02:47,043 --> 00:02:48,169
All right, what'd you do?

63
00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,504
Well, those things that
you consider doodles,

64
00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:51,714
I consider art.

65
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:56,761
Where'd you put it?
Where'd I put what?

66
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,721
Let's go. Oh, sorry. I gotta go.

67
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:00,097
Sayit. Vvhere? Okay, fine.

68
00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:03,351
Three hints. One, when you're getting
colder, you're really getting warmer.

69
00:03:03,434 --> 00:03:04,810
Two! Thefndge.

70
00:03:04,894 --> 00:03:07,521
You have a better chance
if you think Bob Vance.

71
00:03:07,605 --> 00:03:08,939
Thefndge, goth. Andthefinaldue_.

72
00:03:09,065 --> 00:03:10,917
Michael: Let's go! You
know what? Just think about it.

73
00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:12,735
You'll be fine. Bye. (Laughs)

74
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:14,945
(Door closes)

75
00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:17,448
Erin: Holly is ruining
Michael's life.

76
00:03:17,782 --> 00:03:20,201
He thinks she's so special.

77
00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:22,453
And she's so not.

78
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:26,040
Her personality is like a three,
her sense of humor is a two,

79
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:29,585
her ears are like
a seven and a four.

80
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:32,546
Add it all up,
and what do you get? 16.

81
00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:34,757
And he treats her
like she's a perfect 40.

82
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,175
It's nuts.

83
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:44,141
Cheer up. We made a sale.

84
00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:45,935
Just drive faster.
I wanna get back.

85
00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:49,271
Vveh, pn1gomg
thespeedhnflt okay, fine.

86
00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:50,815
My feelings don't matter to you.

87
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,983
What matters to you is
your precious speed limit.

88
00:03:53,776 --> 00:03:54,776
Someone's in a bad mood.

89
00:03:54,819 --> 00:03:56,237
No, I'm not.

90
00:03:57,655 --> 00:03:59,532
I'm not in a bad mood.

91
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:03,536
I'm not, Jim. Hello?

92
00:04:05,121 --> 00:04:07,540
Okay, fine, ignore me.
Have it your way.

93
00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:10,209
Let's just talk
about you as always.

94
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,212
Sex different after
the baby, Jim?

95
00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,506
All right, let me turn on
some music. I need to pee!

96
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,925
No, you don't. Yeah, I
do. My word against yours.

97
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,528
All right, well, we'll
be there in 10 minutes.

98
00:04:19,552 --> 00:04:23,347
What part of "I need to
pee" do you not understand?

99
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,433
I'm upset, my bladder is full,

100
00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:28,769
there is no telling what
I might do right now

101
00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:31,605
all over the inside of
your precious little car.

102
00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:34,108
All right. Well, if I see a
gas station, I'll pull over.

103
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:36,068
Well, I hope I make it.

104
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,279
(Cell phone ringing)

105
00:04:38,863 --> 00:04:41,073
Hello? Hi, Jim, it's helene.

106
00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:44,118
Hey, helene. Is everything okay?

107
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,078
E verything's fine. Baby's fine.

108
00:04:46,162 --> 00:04:48,539
She has a tiny fever. I'm
taking her for a checkup.

109
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:49,790
Nothing to worry about.

110
00:04:50,374 --> 00:04:51,417
Okay.

111
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,753
A tiny thing. I
locked her in the car.

112
00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:55,837
What?

113
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,798
She's smiling. She's
happy. Oh, my god.

114
00:04:57,882 --> 00:05:00,259
Jim, I don't have a
spare key. Oh, my god.

115
00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:03,220
Just stay there. I'll be
there in one second.

116
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:04,555
Michael!

117
00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:06,891
Michael!

118
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:10,495
Excuse me, sir, there's a...
There's a guy in the bathroom.

119
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,706
He's coming out, but I have
to go, 'cause it's an emergency.

120
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,291
Will you just tell him
to call the office?

121
00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:16,150
Just call... call the office.

122
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,902
Thank you! Please?

123
00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:28,954
Hello?

124
00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:37,296
(Toilet flushing)

125
00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:50,267
(Phone rings)

126
00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:53,938
This is Pam. Jim: Hey, it's me.

127
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:56,148
So, don't worry.
E verything's okay.

128
00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:58,192
What's wrong? Nothing,
absolutely nothing.

129
00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:00,378
But you're not holding a cup
of coffee or anything, are you?

130
00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:04,031
Jim, what? Uh, okay. So,
Cece had a little bit of a fever,

131
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,116
and your mom also
locked her in the car.

132
00:06:06,242 --> 00:06:08,035
Oh, god. What?
No, no, no, it's okay.

133
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:11,413
So, Cece's with daddy now, and
she is laughing and she's happy,

134
00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:13,057
and we're on our way
to see Dr. Barbara.

135
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:14,416
Okay, so she's okay?

136
00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:17,044
Yes, and your mom got a
very well-deserved day off.

137
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:21,549
So, here's the thing, though, lleft
Michael at the gas station on Bennett.

138
00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:22,675
Understood.

139
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,843
And his wallet and phone
are on the seat next to me.

140
00:06:24,927 --> 00:06:26,053
Got it.

141
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,013
I will put out an a.P.B.,

142
00:06:28,097 --> 00:06:31,100
otherwise known as
an "ask Pam beesly."

143
00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:36,230
Did the phone cutout? Nope.

144
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,732
All right, just call me
after the doctor. Okay.

145
00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:40,109
All right, bye. Bye.

146
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:43,028
I know, I know. You have a
phone policy. I understand.

147
00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:45,864
But this is an emergency,
because my friend isn't here,

148
00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:49,493
and I'm worried that
he has been abducted.

149
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:50,786
And... no.

150
00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:53,497
No, he ditched you, man.
I saw him drive away.

151
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,207
There's no way he ditched me.

152
00:06:55,291 --> 00:06:56,584
There's no way that happened.

153
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:59,628
He's my... okay. May I please
just use your phone? Please?

154
00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:01,672
Justmakeitqmck thank you. Okay

155
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,425
I will make it quick.
I will make it very quick.

156
00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:07,511
And you don't have my
numbers on speed dial.

157
00:07:08,012 --> 00:07:09,972
Okay, what is it?

158
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:13,392
You don't know. You
don't... you know what?

159
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,436
I could dial 411,
get Jim's number...

160
00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:18,147
He left you here on purpose,

161
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:19,607
all right? I saw it.

162
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,984
He just drove away.

163
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:23,253
Michael: Actually, this is good.

164
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:26,697
I am going to take
this opportunity

165
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,365
to go walk about.

166
00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:31,994
Good, good.

167
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,831
No, get away.

168
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,583
No. That's enough.

169
00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:39,710
(Sighs) Okay.

170
00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:43,672
Okay.

171
00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:46,183
It's the gas station on
Bennett street? Yeah.

172
00:07:46,759 --> 00:07:48,927
You know what? Why
don't you stay and I'll go?

173
00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:50,554
Oh, no, no, no, I'll be fine.

174
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:53,349
It's kind of a sketchy neighborhood,
though. I better come along.

175
00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:55,100
Problem solved, everyone.

176
00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:58,312
Space orphan and Princess
nincompoop are off to rescue Michael.

177
00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:00,606
Unbelievable. I'm going.

178
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:04,193
You drive. I got a car full of
fox meat. (Clears throat)

179
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:07,738
Cute. (Laughs)

180
00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,371
Very funny, everyone.

181
00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:17,039
Who wrote captions
under my doodle?

182
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,167
I'm not even kidding.
They're pretty good.

183
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,086
Which one in particular?
Yeah, which one?

184
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:25,464
Well, the first one
has a surprise factor.

185
00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:27,424
"I'm a suck, suck,
suckity sabre."

186
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:28,550
Booya!

187
00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:31,345
(All laughing)
No.No, no no, no, no.

188
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:34,682
But I suppose the second
one is the better written line.

189
00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:36,850
Yousuppose? Vvhatsitsay?

190
00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:38,686
"I'm supposed to
be wearing red gloves,

191
00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:41,522
"but my color cartridge
portal gotjammed again."

192
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:44,316
(All laughing)
Okay. No, no, no, no, no.

193
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,693
Gloves. Keep it real.

194
00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:47,986
You guys, if I knew you
wanted to do a caption contest,

195
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:49,589
I would have drawn
something more challenging.

196
00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:52,658
And I will take
you all down. You?

197
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:54,552
I've been reading the
comics to my daughter

198
00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:55,953
since she was three years old.

199
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,747
Not once have I used the
real captions to family circus.

200
00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:02,459
That crazy family is hilarious
to her for one reason, me.

201
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:07,423
It is on like genghis Khan
wearing Sean John in Bhutan.

202
00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:10,050
Yes. You guys,
I have the perfect idea.

203
00:09:10,134 --> 00:09:12,386
Okay, it'll just take me 10
minutes. (All cheering)

204
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,263
Kevin: All right.
Andy: I want to do it.

205
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:19,893
Male, Caucasian, 40s, black
hair, facial type, marsupial.

206
00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:22,020
He answers to Michael,
Michael g. Scott,

207
00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:24,440
Michael j. Fox, Mr. Fox,
the incredible Mr. Fox...

208
00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:26,358
Yeah, he just left.
Which way did he go?

209
00:09:26,442 --> 00:09:28,736
Okay, hey, hey, hey,
let me answer this.

210
00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:32,197
Stupid question. He went back to
the office, obviously, which is that way.

211
00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:36,076
Oh, really? You don't think he walked
by that bakery just for the smell of it?

212
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:38,912
She's right. He went that way.

213
00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:41,915
All right.

214
00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:45,586
Don't get a swelled head.
You're no tracker. (Scoffs)

215
00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,004
Let's ride.

216
00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:04,313
(Puppies barking)

217
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:06,231
Hey, you guys. Listen to me.

218
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:08,609
Don't get hung up
on just one girl,

219
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:11,361
because there are a lot
of other girls out there.

220
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:13,197
Look over there. See?

221
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:15,282
They look cute.

222
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,284
(Squawking softly) Hello.

223
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,495
You guys are so beautiful.

224
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:20,704
You're so colorful.

225
00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:23,999
I wish I could understand you.

226
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,251
That's a metaphor, I guess.

227
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:30,506
You are disgusting.
You'll never find love.

228
00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:31,840
(Exclaims)

229
00:10:31,924 --> 00:10:34,843
Do you think she needs more
time, or it's just never gonna happen?

230
00:10:34,927 --> 00:10:37,012
I'm being serious. Seriously.

231
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,431
Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam.
Has Michael checkedin?

232
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,017
Oh, hey, Dwight. I
asked you a question.

233
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,894
No, he hasn't. Okay, bye.

234
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,646
No, wait. Hey, while you're out,

235
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,981
could you pick up some paper
towels and chocolate syrup?

236
00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:49,375
We have ice cream,
so I thought we could...

237
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:50,818
Pam, this isn't a
shopping trip. No.

238
00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:52,694
This is a
manhunt/rescue mission.

239
00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:55,572
Okay, I just... when you're
done, or any time it's convenient,

240
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:56,800
I just thought
since you're out...

241
00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:59,385
Pam, I'm obviously gonna get that
stuff for you, so just shut up. God.

242
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,370
Okay, well, it wasn't...
(Phone disconnects)

243
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,082
No word from Michael.

244
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,166
(Exclaims)

245
00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:07,960
Ta-daa!

246
00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:13,090
Okay, it's two giant dogs
with two giant palm trees

247
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,883
on a regular-sized island.

248
00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:16,260
Oh, lgotone. Yeah?

249
00:11:16,635 --> 00:11:18,178
Yes. Gabe: Okay, I'm sorry,

250
00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:19,805
but I'm gonna have
to shut this down.

251
00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:21,223
(All booing) Both: Why?

252
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,684
Unless we can all agree
to some ground rules.

253
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:26,353
It's either that, or
I can fax this to Jo

254
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:27,855
and let her decide
how to proceed.

255
00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:31,859
Gabe, tell us your stupid
rules so we can start the game.

256
00:11:31,984 --> 00:11:33,861
Number one, and this
should be obvious,

257
00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:36,280
no captions that insult
the company we work for.

258
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,115
(All protesting)
Irony is such a critical...

259
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,867
Number two,

260
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:42,327
no pop culture references.

261
00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:43,912
Seriously? Wow.

262
00:11:43,996 --> 00:11:46,206
I think we can all agree
they tend to alienate those

263
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:49,209
who don't get the reference,
making them feel like the other.

264
00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:50,711
Wrap it up, Gabe.

265
00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:53,213
Okay, final thing,
and this is a fun one,

266
00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:55,883
instead of writing the caption
directly under the picture,

267
00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:59,094
let's all try using
sticky quips.

268
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:01,722
All right? New from
dunder Mifflin sabre.

269
00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:05,726
Sticky quips are fun.
They're safe. They're handy.

270
00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:07,811
I like to use sticky quips
as regular post-it notes

271
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,938
when I'm in a fun mood. (Laughs)

272
00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:11,398
Not every day.

273
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,233
Go get 'em. Start quipping.

274
00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:14,443
Hmm.

275
00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:17,821
Pam, I think I'm
gonna send you an im.

276
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,907
Oh, okay.

277
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,968
Send me one, too. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, put me on that.

278
00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:23,827
Phyllis: Cc. Darryl: Ditto.

279
00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:28,874
Hello. I would like
a hot dog, please.

280
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:30,536
Now, I don't have any money,

281
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:33,003
so here is what
I would like to do.

282
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,839
I leave you here with my watch,

283
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:38,300
and I come back later
and I pay for the hot dog.

284
00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:39,760
I'm not a pawn shop.

285
00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:43,555
Well, I understand that,
but this is a $45 watch.

286
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:47,517
Wow. With that, I
could buy half the menu.

287
00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:50,020
I can't just go giving
away hot dogs. All right.

288
00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:52,648
What do you do with the
hot dogs that you don't sell?

289
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:54,274
Throw 'em away. Well, okay,

290
00:12:54,358 --> 00:12:55,710
instead of throwing
them all away later,

291
00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:57,861
why don't you just throw
one away now into my mouth?

292
00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:01,740
Okay. You've just
lost my business.

293
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:04,618
(Sighs)

294
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,292
Hey, you were in
there forever. Hey.

295
00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,378
There's too many
brands. Where's Holly?

296
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,755
She wandered off like an idiot.

297
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:18,882
Hey. Hey.

298
00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:21,551
What are you doing? Just
changing my cell phone plan.

299
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,804
Okay. Okay. Here you go.

300
00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:25,931
I'll take my free
stress ball too now.

301
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,975
Sure thing. Here you go, miss...

302
00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:29,977
Okay, Fanny smellmore.

303
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,520
Real original. What?

304
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:34,022
You know what? Say hi to
Orville tootenbacher for me.

305
00:13:34,106 --> 00:13:35,565
Tootenbacher.

306
00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:38,670
Orville tootenbacher, that's
Michael's millionaire character that

307
00:13:38,694 --> 00:13:40,112
farts popcorn. Farts popcorn.

308
00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:42,114
Of course. He was here.

309
00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:44,282
She's the key. Amazing.

310
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:47,744
Holly.

311
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:50,455
Hey, where would
you like to go next?

312
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,332
Holly?

313
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,879
Are their egg rolls
really that big?

314
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,049
Oh, boy. That was yummy.

315
00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:02,926
Thank you so much.

316
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:12,185
You know what? I think
I left my wallet in my car.

317
00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:13,579
Do you mind if
I run out and get it?

318
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:14,771
No problem. Okay.

319
00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:17,024
I'll be right back.

320
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,281
God! Okay, you know what?

321
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,824
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

322
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:31,580
I don't have my wallet.
And I was... (Laughs)

323
00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:34,916
I was gonna try to dine and
dash, and that was stupid,

324
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,210
and I realize I can't do
that to you fine people.

325
00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:38,574
So, you can't pay for your food?

326
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:41,715
Well, I can, but I will have
to come back later tonight

327
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,508
and pay you.

328
00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:45,844
But the point is I
did the right thing.

329
00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:47,220
You did not.

330
00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:49,681
You have no money, but you
dined, and you dined so much.

331
00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:53,101
Well, the number three
is not such a giant feast.

332
00:14:53,185 --> 00:14:54,811
Okay. Mr. Choo!

333
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,480
All right. You know what?

334
00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:59,983
You're trying to steal
food from us? I am not.

335
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,903
I just have had
a bad day, and I...

336
00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:07,783
Okay. I'll be back later with the
money. I'm just gonna leave right now.

337
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,076
You can't. We'll stop you.

338
00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:11,995
Well, I think I can
get through the door.

339
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:20,629
Excuse me, do you speak English?

340
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:22,756
We are looking for a man,

341
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:26,343
Michael, this tall,
black hair, Caucasian.

342
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,886
(Gasps) It's Michael!

343
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,682
He just left.

344
00:15:33,809 --> 00:15:35,435
You knew. What?

345
00:15:35,519 --> 00:15:37,270
No. Dwight asked if
I wanted an egg roll.

346
00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:38,855
What... what are you implying?

347
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,607
Uncanny.

348
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:41,775
Put a pin in that.

349
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:42,859
Which way did he go?

350
00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:46,279
That guy, when he leave here,

351
00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:49,282
which way did he go?
We looking for him.

352
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:52,911
This way? This way? This
way? I don't know. Do you know?

353
00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,621
I think he was heading downtown.

354
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,333
He's heading downtown.

355
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,298
So what, no one's
even gonna try?

356
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,467
Guess not. Oh, come on.

357
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:10,345
My rules could not possibly
have been that oppressive.

358
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,222
You crushed our spirits, Gabe.

359
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,058
Congrats. You're a big man, huh?

360
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:19,646
Takes a lot to destroy the
creativity of a whole group of people.

361
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:22,649
(Im beeps)

362
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,151
(All laughing)

363
00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:27,237
Hey...

364
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,203
(Whispering) Click the "x."
I'm clicking!

365
00:16:35,287 --> 00:16:37,164
In the box. I am clicking.

366
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:39,127
Woman, you've had a
computer for years! Phyllis!

367
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:40,250
Too late!

368
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:45,714
Oh, huh, an im chat. Very
clever. I'll just print that out.

369
00:16:47,299 --> 00:16:48,967
Come on, guys. Grow up.

370
00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:52,721
I don't want to
be your babysitter.

371
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,266
(Darryl boos softly)

372
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:14,951
"Darn it, Bob, I told you not
to buy a sabre brand lifeboat."

373
00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:16,870
(All laughing)

374
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:18,663
Nice! Gabe: No, not nice.

375
00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:20,165
Terrible.

376
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:22,250
Doesn't even include
the fact that they're dogs.

377
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:24,211
Do the next one. "Wake up, Fred.

378
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:27,464
"The power cord on your sabre
printer shocked you into a coma,

379
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,716
"and you're dreaming you're
a dog on a desert island."

380
00:17:29,925 --> 00:17:32,302
Dreaming he's a dog
on an island. (Laughs)

381
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:34,179
Uh, excuse me, excuse me.

382
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:36,806
How does the speaker know what
the guy in the coma is dreaming?

383
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,250
Well, if you think it's so easy,
Gabe, why don't you try it?

384
00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:43,688
You don't have to sniff
my rear end anymore, Bob.

385
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:45,482
I'm the only one here. (Laughs)

386
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:46,816
That's tasteless, Gabe.

387
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,276
Tasteless? Tasteless.

388
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:49,462
Gabe: More tasteless than this?

389
00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:52,072
"Is that a palm tree,
or did Gabe get skinnier?

390
00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:53,490
"Either way, let's pee on it."

391
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,408
(All laughing) I like that.

392
00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,247
Ladies and gentlemen,
I think we have a winner.

393
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:01,957
Yes. Kevin: Yes. Well done!

394
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:03,667
Whose is it? Who wrote that?

395
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:05,835
Yeah. Who wrote it?

396
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:12,342
Please. It was easy once I decided
I wanted the dog to piss on Gabe.

397
00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:15,428
Where did he go, Holly?

398
00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:17,013
I have no idea.

399
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,683
Do you see a little clown
that you wanna follow, huh?

400
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,602
Is there a little bird that's chirping
to you, "this way, this way"?

401
00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:24,271
I don't know.

402
00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:25,522
Okay. Close your eyes.

403
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:28,733
We need you to think. What
is Michael seeing right now?

404
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:30,777
Can you tell him
that we miss him?

405
00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:32,060
Michael, we're coming for you!

406
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:33,113
Will you stop?

407
00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:35,615
There have been a few
coincidences, that's all!

408
00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:37,325
All right, then.

409
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,536
Okay. Someone propose a plan.

410
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:41,871
We fan out... notyou, enn.

411
00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:44,499
Stop looking at me like that.

412
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,711
Okay, look, let's just
go up somewhere high

413
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,714
and see if we could spot
him on the street below.

414
00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:52,173
That is the stupidest
idea I've ever heard. No.

415
00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:55,552
Tap into your common mind,
and tell us what he would do next.

416
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,930
(Sighs) Look, I'm not playing.
I'm gonna go look for him.

417
00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:00,223
(Both sigh)

418
00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:02,600
Good. We don't need her. Right.

419
00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:05,145
I can do this on my own.
I can think like Michael.

420
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:07,355
All right...

421
00:19:07,439 --> 00:19:09,816
I'm deep below the ocean's
surface in a submarine.

422
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:11,359
A torpedo's coming right at me.

423
00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:15,113
No. Damn it, that's
just my own imagination.

424
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,575
Maybe he's bowling.

425
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:54,611
Michael?

426
00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:58,531
Hi. (Laughs)

427
00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:03,536
How did you know I was up here?

428
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:04,871
What are you doing up here?

429
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:05,954
I got turned around.

430
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,249
I thought I could see
dunder Mifflin. Dunder Mifflin?

431
00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:11,336
Yeah. (Laughs)

432
00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:12,670
Wow!

433
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,885
I just miss you so much.

434
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:26,726
I missed you, too.

435
00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:27,977
Really?

436
00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:30,438
Yeah.

437
00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:35,276
Can I kiss you?

438
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,153
Okay. Yeah.

439
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:49,124
Maybe that's not the
best one. Keep reading.

440
00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:50,917
Yeah, it was. Maybe it wasn't.

441
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,961
"Oh, thank god, I had
a horrible nightmare

442
00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:55,088
"that I was stuck
in america with Gabe."

443
00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:56,506
(All chuckling)

444
00:20:57,715 --> 00:21:00,051
No, that's not the one I
was thinking of. Keep going.

445
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,595
"I know what it smells like,
but I didn't roll in anything.

446
00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:05,432
"It's from listening
to all of Gabe's..."

447
00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:06,975
(All laughing)

448
00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:09,561
"Isn't this the perfect
romantic getaway, Erin?

449
00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:12,522
"Sitting on a desert
island in dog costumes?

450
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,774
"I'm Gabe, and I'm a weirdo."

451
00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:16,234
(Laughs)

452
00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:19,821
"Gabe's mom. Hmm, Gabe's mom?

453
00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:22,323
"Wait, tall woman?
Looks like Gabe?

454
00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:25,118
"Yeah, I banged her."

455
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:26,953
Yeah, there you go. (All laugh)