1
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,423
Hey, how you doing?

2
00:00:05,715 --> 00:00:07,315
Been thinking about
my grandmother a lot.

3
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,511
Yeah. She was about to turn 97.

4
00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:13,764
At least she lived a very long,
and I'm sure, a very happy life.

5
00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,183
Mmm.

6
00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:16,684
Got you this card.

7
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:17,911
When you're ready,
we all signed it.

8
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,913
We just wanted you to know
we're thinking about you.

9
00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:21,189
Thank you.

10
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:26,986
"Congratulations, Darryl.
Let's get wasted."

11
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:29,530
"Have fun today, big guy."

12
00:00:29,614 --> 00:00:31,282
"Oh, yeah. Party time.

13
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,159
"Whoop-whoop."

14
00:00:33,826 --> 00:00:36,621
It's possible that some people
thought it was your birthday.

15
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,164
"Hooray. Live it up, big d."

16
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,099
"Days like this don't
come often enough.

17
00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:42,668
"Time to celebrate.

18
00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,003
"You deserve this"?

19
00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:47,673
(Laughing)

20
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,968
Birthday punches! One,
two, three, four, five, six...

21
00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:52,136
I'm so sorry.

22
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:56,474
13,14,15,16,17,18,19,
20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25...

23
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:20,748
So, I got an early
res at blu wasabi,

24
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,750
and I'm taking Rachel.

25
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,085
She's picking me up after work.

26
00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:25,336
Rachel from the party?

27
00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:27,880
Nice. Oh, yeah.

28
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:29,715
Do the damn thing.

29
00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:32,134
Blu wasabi is so good,
but get the cheeseburger.

30
00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:33,258
They say they won't do it,

31
00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:34,363
but they will if
you make a scene.

32
00:01:34,387 --> 00:01:36,055
B e. Okay, y okay, bye.

33
00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:37,723
(Both moan) I'll miss you.

34
00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:39,141
Miss you.

35
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:42,353
Okay. Hlbeinrny
ofimeifyouneedrne. Bye-bye.

36
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:43,729
(Kissing) Holly: Bye.

37
00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:44,855
Michael: Okay, bye. Bye.

38
00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:46,649
All right, bye. Bye. Bye. Okay.

39
00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:48,460
Holly: One more big one.
Don't go. I don't want you to go.

40
00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:50,319
Let go. Don't go.

41
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,451
Holly and I are dating.

42
00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:01,580
It's been a week, and
I still can't beheveit

43
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,040
(Michael sighs)

44
00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:04,643
It goes to show that everything

45
00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:06,043
you want in life, you get.

46
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:09,422
And you can't work for it.
It just comes to you.

47
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,257
And what do we have here?

48
00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:14,218
From my secret admirer.
That's you.

49
00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:15,720
Caught. (Giggling)

50
00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,388
I dominate Valentine's day.

51
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:20,391
I practically make
romance into a science.

52
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:21,851
"Roses are red.
Violets are blue.

53
00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:24,562
"Look in the vase
to find your first clue."

54
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,480
Oh, my gosh. It's a
romantic scavenger hunt.

55
00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:28,316
Close. It's a romantic
treasure hunt.

56
00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:31,319
A scavenger hunt is where you
find items from a master list.

57
00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:33,338
This is where you follow
clues that lead to a prize.

58
00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:34,739
Common misuse. Good luck.

59
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:35,948
But there's no clue.

60
00:02:36,032 --> 00:02:37,408
Well, get to work.

61
00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:39,327
Icant'cause there's no clue.

62
00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:41,037
The puzzle is the clue.

63
00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:45,583
(Clears throat loudly)

64
00:02:46,459 --> 00:02:47,499
Are these numbers correct?

65
00:02:47,543 --> 00:02:49,045
The numbers are
correct, Michael.

66
00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:51,047
Okay.

67
00:02:51,756 --> 00:02:52,757
(Clears throat)

68
00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:55,051
(Clears throat again)

69
00:02:56,469 --> 00:02:57,511
(Clears throat again)

70
00:02:57,595 --> 00:02:59,430
Are you... are you sick, Oscar?

71
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,514
Do you need to go home?

72
00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,183
'Cause you're grossing me out.

73
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:03,517
I just need a signature.

74
00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:10,608
Jim: There you go. Thanks.

75
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,443
Thank you.

76
00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:14,445
(Bothlaugh)

77
00:03:14,612 --> 00:03:16,364
How much did you give him?
Big tip.

78
00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:17,698
Wait. I don't have my scarf.

79
00:03:17,782 --> 00:03:19,909
What?
I'm missing my scarf. Oh...

80
00:03:22,787 --> 00:03:25,289
(Bothlaugh)

81
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:28,667
We decided to have
a Valentine's day lunch,

82
00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:31,021
and then that way we can spend
the entire night with Cece,

83
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:34,840
and avoid the Valentine's
day dinner thing.

84
00:03:35,466 --> 00:03:36,801
It's a whole thing.

85
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,594
Yeah, lunch was wonderful!

86
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,805
(Shushing) Um, there
was an amazing buffet,

87
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:43,599
and there was a
chocolate fondue station.

88
00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:44,975
And what else was there?

89
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:47,144
Uh, bottomless champagne. Yes.

90
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,731
Never found that
bottom, did we? No.

91
00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:53,984
Pssst! Pssst!

92
00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:55,736
What's up?

93
00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:57,071
Are you good at Jigsaw puzzles?

94
00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,298
Are you kidding me?
It's all I did every summer

95
00:03:58,322 --> 00:03:59,657
when my brothers
were out sailing.

96
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,159
Okay. But if this is a
romantic thing with Gabe,

97
00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:03,285
I should probably...

98
00:04:03,369 --> 00:04:06,205
Oh! No, no, no, no.
It's not weird at all.

99
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:07,928
You have your new
girlfriend, I have Gabe.

100
00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:09,291
This is just as friends.

101
00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:11,043
Well, okay then.

102
00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:14,046
Yes! At least until
Stanley calms down.

103
00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:16,006
Oh, is he...
(Stammering) Don't look.

104
00:04:16,674 --> 00:04:18,968
I accidentally did his sudoku.

105
00:04:19,385 --> 00:04:21,262
Andy.

106
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:23,806
All right, I will
fax over it to you.

107
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,185
I will fax it over to you.
Okay. Thank you.

108
00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:31,981
Okay, my name is

109
00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:36,610
(stammering) Jim Halpert,
and I will fax it in to you.

110
00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:38,237
Under you.
I'll fax it under you.

111
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,240
(Stammering) Oh, excuse me.
I just pissed my pants.

112
00:04:42,408 --> 00:04:43,951
Not really. I didn't really.

113
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,035
(Clears throat)

114
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,081
Wait.

115
00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:50,684
You're just filling
that out right now?

116
00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:52,418
That wasn't meant for me.

117
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,545
I will not be your Valentine.

118
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,047
Oh, nuts.

119
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,134
I don't know if anyone
else feels this way,

120
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:03,804
and don't get me wrong,
I love Michael and Holly.

121
00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:07,016
And maybe I'm being
overly sensitive, but

122
00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:08,267
the PDA...

123
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,561
Yes! The freaking PDA! Uh-huh.

124
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,146
Thank you!

125
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,564
I mean, I'm thrilled for them.

126
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:16,042
No one is more thrilled for them
than I am... yes. Yes, absolutely.

127
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,860
But it's totally inappropriate.

128
00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:20,529
Yeah, it's a little much.

129
00:05:20,613 --> 00:05:23,449
Obviously, so happy for them
both. Creed: So happy. Yeah.

130
00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,284
I don't know, guys. I, for one,

131
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:27,912
enjoy watching them,
because... no, stop. Just don't...

132
00:05:28,037 --> 00:05:31,165
Can I finish? Can I finish? Is
that okay? Oscar: No, no, no.

133
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,375
I was saying,

134
00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:36,337
I enjoy watching them

135
00:05:36,462 --> 00:05:38,088
because it makes me horny.

136
00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:39,173
(All groan in disgust)

137
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:40,341
God! Kevin!

138
00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:42,801
So, tell me about
your new girlfriend.

139
00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:44,470
She's neat.

140
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,114
Uh, I met her at
Darryl's cousin's party.

141
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:47,698
We were the only two
white people there.

142
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,266
Oh, cute.

143
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,393
Hey, look at that. Done.

144
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,020
Erin: That's Gabe's boom box.

145
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,855
Come on, we have to go find it.

146
00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:56,857
I wish you well on your quest.

147
00:05:56,941 --> 00:05:57,942
No, come on.

148
00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,109
I mean...

149
00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:00,694
Come on!

150
00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:02,321
Okay. (Exclaims in excitement)

151
00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:04,490
I hear them kissing
all the time.

152
00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:06,283
It's this horrible
plipping sound.

153
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,886
You know, it's like
Chinese water torture.

154
00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:09,370
Just_ (imitating kissing)

155
00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:10,955
Like it's coming
from my own head.

156
00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:13,207
Michael: Okay, sit. Okay.

157
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:16,043
(Moans) Just close your eyes.

158
00:06:16,961 --> 00:06:18,254
Holly: Can you get lower?

159
00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:20,381
Oh, yeah. A little lower.

160
00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:22,925
I cannot keep myself
from Michael.

161
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:25,469
Everything he does is sexy.

162
00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:30,266
He has this undeniable animal
magnetism. He's a jungle cat.

163
00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:33,060
The man exudes sex.

164
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:36,313
He can put both his
legs behind his head.

165
00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:39,251
Thank you all for meeting
on such short notice.

166
00:06:39,275 --> 00:06:40,442
(Clearsthroatloudly) Yes?

167
00:06:40,693 --> 00:06:42,403
Yes. Michael Scott,
dunder Mifflin.

168
00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:44,113
What is the purpose
of this meeting?

169
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:45,739
Seeing as it's Valentine's day,

170
00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:47,366
I felt it would
be apropos to have

171
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:50,077
a little refresher course
on romance in the workplace.

172
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,831
Perfect. Yes. It is quite
apro-propriate. Carry on.

173
00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:56,959
First things first, an office
romance is permissible.

174
00:06:57,334 --> 00:07:00,504
Not something you'd expect to hear
from corporate. Well, guess what?

175
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:03,674
Sabre is 100% tolerant
of office romances.

176
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,635
Speaking of, Gabe, I don't
see Erin at this meeting.

177
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,804
Uh, I also don't see Andy.

178
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,931
All: Ooh.

179
00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:12,766
Boom! Face!

180
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:15,102
(Chuckles) I get it.
Andy's slamming my girlfriend.

181
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:16,645
Very funny. (Laughing)

182
00:07:16,729 --> 00:07:20,899
What I do not approve of, however,
is public displays of affection,

183
00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:22,610
or pdas.

184
00:07:22,693 --> 00:07:26,447
Pdas are totally superfluous to
a happy, healthy office romance.

185
00:07:27,031 --> 00:07:28,699
A perfect example,
look at Jim and Pam.

186
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,619
Yeah. What? Us?

187
00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:33,787
They don't touch.
They don't kiss.

188
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:36,182
You would hardly even know
that they were husband and wife.

189
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,207
Did it. Yeah!

190
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:38,751
Loveit keep it going.

191
00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:40,461
Okay. So, pdas.

192
00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:43,672
That's gonna include behaviors
such as hugging, kissing...

193
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,549
Booby honking. Uh...

194
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,217
Yeah, booby honking. Sure.

195
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:48,302
Butt honking.

196
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,571
Butt honking.
Yup, all the honkings.

197
00:07:49,595 --> 00:07:51,698
The one where you start in a
crouched position, then you leap...

198
00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:54,058
Sure. Basically, there's
no precise definition,

199
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,768
but you know it when you see it.

200
00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:57,061
(Playful snorting)

201
00:07:58,312 --> 00:07:59,313
(Clears throat)

202
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,899
Are you guys listening to this?

203
00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,487
What? Are you talking
about me and Holly?

204
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,238
Pam: Yeah!

205
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:10,908
Maybe you find your own chair.

206
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:13,994
So, we kiss occasionally.

207
00:08:14,078 --> 00:08:15,829
Not occasionally. All the time.

208
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,396
Yeah, and it's not
just the kissing.

209
00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:19,166
It's the flirtatious whispering.

210
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,626
The flirtatious tickling.

211
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:23,337
Whispering and tickling
have their place in business.

212
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:26,548
That thing where you
softly exhale on her neck.

213
00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:29,968
Okay, yeah, that's pretty hot.
I will give you that.

214
00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:33,097
Look, you are all
hypocrites. You all do it.

215
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,516
Michael? Confession.

216
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,017
I have done PDA in the office.

217
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,185
Thank you.

218
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,229
I've had intercourse
in the office. All right.

219
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:41,689
As has Angela. Dwight!

220
00:08:41,772 --> 00:08:44,233
As has Ryan. As has
Kelly. As has Meredith.

221
00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:49,571
As has Phyllis. As has Darryl. As has
creed. As has Michael. As has Holly.

222
00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:51,031
As has Kevin.

223
00:08:51,115 --> 00:08:52,157
With who?

224
00:08:52,241 --> 00:08:54,159
She goes to another school.

225
00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:56,370
Okay, fine. No more PDA.

226
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:57,955
Good. You win.

227
00:08:58,455 --> 00:08:59,748
But here's what we are gonna do.

228
00:08:59,832 --> 00:09:02,584
We are going to designate one
of our closets as a hook-up zone.

229
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:03,794
No. Anything goes!

230
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:06,272
Just leave it how you said...
Dwight: Michael, that's absurd.

231
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,108
What if two couples want
to go at the same time?

232
00:09:08,132 --> 00:09:09,192
Angela: Ugh, Dwight!
Okay, then we have two...

233
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,343
No, no, we're gonna
have three closets,

234
00:09:11,427 --> 00:09:13,637
one for each base,
no homers. Yes?

235
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:15,761
And what is the hook-up zone
policy on masturbation?

236
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,059
Pro. Yes.

237
00:09:19,143 --> 00:09:20,602
What? Problem solved.

238
00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:23,313
No, no, it's great. I love
working at dunder Mifflin,

239
00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:26,525
a division of
Taliban enterprises.

240
00:09:26,859 --> 00:09:28,402
That's weird.

241
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:31,488
I mean, that's weird
to have sex in the office.

242
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:32,990
That's where you work, right?

243
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,074
Mmm-hmm.

244
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,869
You know, you're in a meeting,

245
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:40,038
and nobody knows that
you've had sex there,

246
00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:41,957
except for you and him.

247
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,083
(Snorts)

248
00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:49,506
Don't mind us. You keep working.

249
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:52,009
Okay, I'll keep working.

250
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:53,510
(Gasps)

251
00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:56,680
Oh, my god. It's a song.

252
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:57,806
(Whispering) Whoa.

253
00:09:57,890 --> 00:09:59,516
(Whispering)
What do you think is on it?

254
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:01,786
We should actually probably
talk about it outside,

255
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,812
or we might make Darryl mad.

256
00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:05,707
Not if we're talking
like this. I think it's okay.

257
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,566
He doesn't seem to hear us.

258
00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:10,903
I think he's just being nice.

259
00:10:10,986 --> 00:10:13,840
That makes sense 'cause I feel
like I'd be able to hear us at this level.

260
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:14,948
Darryl?

261
00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:16,950
Darryl is a jerk.

262
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:18,076
No, he's not.

263
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,745
No, I'm just testing
if he can hear.

264
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:20,996
I can hear you. Okay.

265
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:23,040
Then no more talking.
Let's just play the song.

266
00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:26,251
Gabe on stereo: (Singing)
The temp at night

267
00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:28,587
the temp at night

268
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,839
the temp at night

269
00:10:30,923 --> 00:10:32,841
the temp at night

270
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,719
temp at night?

271
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,054
What do you...

272
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,097
You got it.

273
00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:40,390
Pick it up. Take it out.

274
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:41,683
Pick?

275
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:43,060
Okay. Pick it up.

276
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:46,063
Take it out. Pick
it up. Pick it up.

277
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,523
Pick it up. Take it out.

278
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:49,733
Right. Okay.

279
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:02,538
Sorry to interrupt.
Forgot to collect my things.

280
00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:05,999
Ah, the old leave behind.
Oldest trick in the book.

281
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:07,501
Good thing it's working.

282
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:09,920
No. Michael, I don't want
to make people uncomfortable.

283
00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,840
Since when is comfort
the most important thing?

284
00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:15,551
I mean, I don't sit on your
lap because it's comfortable.

285
00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:18,354
I sit on your lap because I like
the way your thighs feel on my butt.

286
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:21,098
Yeah, but if they're uncomfortable,
it makes me uncomfortable.

287
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:25,227
Oh, okay. Well, if it
makes you uncomfortable,

288
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:26,854
then we'll stop. Okay.

289
00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:28,730
Holly and I are like
Romeo and Juliet,

290
00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:32,150
and this office is like the
dragon that kept them apart.

291
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:36,071
Hey, you know the only reason
why people here are complaining?

292
00:11:36,405 --> 00:11:40,784
They are jealous of two people
in love on Valentine's day.

293
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:42,369
Two people in love?

294
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:46,331
I love you.

295
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,543
Wait, wait, wait. What
do you mean you love me?

296
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,295
We've only been
dating for a week.

297
00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:54,464
Do you mean you love me like,
"hey, there's Holly. I love that girl,"

298
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:58,719
or do you mean you love me
like you "love me" love me?

299
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,971
I "love you" love you.

300
00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:02,431
(Gasps)

301
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,516
You "love me" love me.

302
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:08,979
I "love you" love you.

303
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:26,997
I am really disappointed in the
office's policy on PDA at this moment.

304
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:34,379
I love you.

305
00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:35,672
I love you.

306
00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:42,763
Yeah, whatever. No big deal.

307
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:45,515
Just the hottest girl
in the world loves me.

308
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,439
Okay, Ryan's the temp.
What does he do at night?

309
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:55,067
I guess we just have
to wait until night and see.

310
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,071
Or maybe not.

311
00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:01,031
(Gasps)

312
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:05,327
Cool.

313
00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:08,872
Andy: How romantic is this?

314
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:10,832
Erin: Super romantic. Right?

315
00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:13,627
Do you see a clue or...

316
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:14,878
Did you not see it?

317
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,214
Oh, my gosh. Hanks.

318
00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:20,217
(Exclaims)

319
00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:21,843
Oh, hey. Hey. No time to chat!

320
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:23,887
Sorry. Well, we were
just looking for Ryan.

321
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:26,139
So, he's not here.
Hey, you're looking for me?

322
00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:29,184
Oh, yeah, we were. We were
just looking to say hi. So, hey.

323
00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:31,937
No, you weren't.

324
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,020
No, we weren't.

325
00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,481
You wanted to have
sex in my office.

326
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:36,233
No. Definitely not.
That's disgusting.

327
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,776
(Stammering) It's cool.

328
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:41,238
Just, um, try to put everything
back where you found it.

329
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,657
Text me when you're
finished. I'll be out here.

330
00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:45,993
Hey, you don't have to...

331
00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:48,429
That was so embarrassing.
I'm gonna die.

332
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,080
That was really rough.

333
00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,335
Pam: Let me make
something clear.

334
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:59,131
Jim and I have never and
will never have sex in the office.

335
00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:03,427
Jim: No, because the office isn't
what I 'd consider a romantic place.

336
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,556
Pam: Besides, we have something
those other people don't have,

337
00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:09,516
which is a home and a bed.

338
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:11,768
And a shower.

339
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:14,646
Hello, Holly. Hello.

340
00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:15,856
Here, shake. No!

341
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:18,150
No, don't touch. No, we can't.

342
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:20,193
No touching. No touching.

343
00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:23,321
Ah, I'm trying not to touch you.

344
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:24,489
Both: Oh.

345
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,366
Almost got you. No, so close.

346
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:27,701
Both: Oh!

347
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:30,454
No, we can't do that.
We can't do this.

348
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,788
You're not touching me.

349
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:35,876
I don't know what your body
feels like, 'cause I can't touch it.

350
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:37,669
Okay, this is much
worse than before.

351
00:14:37,753 --> 00:14:39,796
Yeah, I agree. This is nasty.

352
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,715
Grab you here. And here.

353
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,884
Michael: And I will
grab you here anyway.

354
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:44,968
(Michael laughs)

355
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,136
You have to cut it out.

356
00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:47,387
Neveh okay.

357
00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:49,306
You said you would.
I did say I would,

358
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,391
but I was wrong. I can't stop.

359
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:54,978
You don't know what
it is like to love a woman

360
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:59,816
and have her love you back. It is
a feeling that cannot, and will not,

361
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:03,028
and frankly cannot be contained.

362
00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:06,656
No one is a bigger fan
of sexual touching than me.

363
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:09,993
But with you two, it's
reaching the level of a complex.

364
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,162
I can think of
three explanations.

365
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:15,624
One, you're taking mdma,
street name, ecstasy.

366
00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:17,292
I've done it,
and I know the feeling.

367
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,336
No, I don't think so.

368
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:23,381
Number two, you're desperately
trying to fit in a whole relationship

369
00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:27,928
before Toby comes back from jury
duty and Holly has to go back to nashua.

370
00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:31,264
Or three, you're at an age

371
00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:34,601
where your sexual climaxes
aren't as powerful,

372
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:39,564
so you need to overcompensate
with foreplay, taboo behavior.

373
00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:43,276
Yes, it was that. It's that one.

374
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,403
Yes. Number three.

375
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,909
Give me all your money
and take off your clothes.

376
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:52,410
We're not supposed to PDA.

377
00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:54,788
Come on. Nobody's looking.

378
00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:02,462
What's wrong?

379
00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:03,547
(Sighs)

380
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:09,052
I hadn't thought about you
having to go back to nashua.

381
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:13,098
Maybe we didn't want
to think about it.

382
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,107
We can make it work.
We'll date long-distance.

383
00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:19,104
That's what we said
last time, remember?

384
00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:21,606
We broke up on the drive.

385
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,001
How's this gonna
be any different?

386
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:25,193
We weren't in love last time.

387
00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:26,736
I was in love with you.

388
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:31,908
I'm not saying it won't be
hard, but we can make it work.

389
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,369
That's what she said.

390
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:35,912
(Chuckles softly)

391
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:39,166
(Exclaims)

392
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,918
One Erin special, please.

393
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:43,962
Here's your bottle
of sparkling cider.

394
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:45,672
That's my favorite.

395
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:47,007
I'm now supposed to tell you

396
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:52,179
to enjoy a mid-hunt break, and
look for a heart or some (bleep)

397
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:53,742
In the break room
when you're through.

398
00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:56,141
(Knock on window)

399
00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:57,559
Hey, buck up, buddy.

400
00:16:58,435 --> 00:17:00,395
Make that face he likes.

401
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:05,483
Hey. Hey, come on.
You're hurting him.

402
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:10,947
It's like a time bomb is
ticking down. (Shushing)

403
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:14,117
When it goes off, no more
kissing, no more hugging.

404
00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,243
Just hush.

405
00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:17,120
Sexual time bomb.

406
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:18,872
Justrock.

407
00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:24,085
"Boner bomb" starring
Jason statham,

408
00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:26,630
or we go against type with an
eisenberg or a Michael cera.

409
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,882
Movie idea? No.

410
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:32,093
Saving the world has
never been this hard.

411
00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:34,221
Okay. (Shushing)

412
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:37,184
Have you talked to her about our
feelings? Women really go for that crap.

413
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:38,558
No, I can't talk to her.

414
00:17:38,642 --> 00:17:42,395
I can't even look at her
without thinking about it ending.

415
00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:46,816
Kevin, do more stupid faces.

416
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:48,026
Which one?

417
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:50,111
I have a lot of stupid faces.
I don't know.

418
00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,821
Do a monkey face.
Do a monkey face.

419
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:55,784
I love that. I love that
face. Good. He loves it.

420
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,953
(Imitating monkey sounds)

421
00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:00,455
Good. Jump. Jump up and down.

422
00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:02,249
No, monkey!
Go back to the monkey.

423
00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:03,500
Don't do the squirrel.

424
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,086
Throw your poop.
Hurl your feces.

425
00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:07,754
Michael: That's good. Good.

426
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:09,089
That's good. He's throwing it.

427
00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:11,383
They really do that. I know.

428
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,093
Erin: B-9. Andy: B-9.

429
00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:14,594
Like benign tumor.

430
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:17,681
Maybe it's just
more like "be mine."

431
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,100
Oh, yes. There's a note.

432
00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:22,143
"A little cookie
for you, my miss.

433
00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:25,522
"But the real treasure
is your Valentine's kiss."

434
00:18:25,689 --> 00:18:27,274
Both: Mmm.

435
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:31,695
We're supposed to...

436
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:33,989
Hmm...

437
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,921
Holly, hey.

438
00:18:50,005 --> 00:18:53,174
Holly, I love you
so, so, so much.

439
00:18:53,258 --> 00:18:55,051
And I think that
we need to break up.

440
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:56,737
What? What are
you talking about?

441
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:57,947
Actually, it's Valentine's day.

442
00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:00,432
Shouldn't be doing this today.
I'll talk to you tomorrow.

443
00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:02,225
No, we're gonna talk now.

444
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:03,549
You're not breaking up with me.

445
00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:09,024
You're gonna go back to nashua
eventually, and I can't handle it.

446
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:11,818
So let's just... let's...

447
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:13,320
What if I said
it wasn't up to them?

448
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:15,822
The company. Who?

449
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,324
Nobody knows our future,

450
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:19,617
but it's not gonna be
decided by the company.

451
00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:22,329
It's not gonna be decided
by anybody but us.

452
00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:26,041
And what we are
is up to you and me.

453
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:30,086
Okay. Okay.

454
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:34,883
Ladies and gentlemen, I have
an announcement to make.

455
00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:38,511
As of today, officially,

456
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,513
Holly and I are
moving in together.

457
00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:42,265
Yay! (Scattered applause)

458
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:43,558
Thank you. Thank you.

459
00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:47,020
Oscar, this must be tough
for you, watching this go down.

460
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,814
You could not stand in the
way of true love, my friend.

461
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,917
Are you kidding? I wasn't
trying to break you guys up.

462
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:53,860
Better luck next time, pal.

463
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:58,698
Well, the point is, there will no longer
be any need for PDA here at the office

464
00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:01,242
between us, because
when we get home,

465
00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:05,080
we are going to make love
to and with one another,

466
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:08,625
and that, to me, is the best
Valentine's day present

467
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:13,296
that a person could receive.
So, I bid you all adieu.

468
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,548
You do? I do.

469
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:17,967
Go on. Kiss each other already.

470
00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:22,889
Suck it, Oscar.
This must kill you.

471
00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:24,432
I just told them to do it.

472
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:38,446
What?

473
00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:42,826
We took a walk. We took a walk.

474
00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:48,957
My perfect Valentine's day?

475
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,335
I'm at home, three cell
phones in front of me,

476
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:54,397
fielding desperate calls
from people who want to buy

477
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:58,591
one of the 50 restaurant reservations
I made over six months ago.

478
00:20:58,675 --> 00:21:01,970
Anybody can be prince
charming one day a year

479
00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:04,389
with the dinner and
the flowers and all that.

480
00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,182
But you know what impresses me?

481
00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:09,394
When a guy can do
that no days a year.

482
00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:13,022
Flowers, diamonds,
three-course meal,

483
00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:15,275
violinist comes to my
table to serenade me.

484
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:18,153
Pizza, soda, the moon,

485
00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:19,821
someone to share it with.

486
00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:22,449
What are our plans for tonight?

487
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,702
(Imitating bed creaking)