1 00:00:07,133 --> 00:00:10,803 Dwight: I have the best stocked survival shelter in northeastern Pennsylvania. 2 00:00:10,887 --> 00:00:12,030 But everything has a shelf life. 3 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:15,975 So I must eat and then replace everything that's about to expire. 4 00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,935 It's nice not to have to plan my meals. 5 00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:20,688 You're eating eight-year—old tomatoes. 6 00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:21,957 They're still good for another week. 7 00:00:21,981 --> 00:00:23,709 You know, I think I might have some type ofcheese 8 00:00:23,733 --> 00:00:25,318 in the back of my fridge you might like. 9 00:00:25,401 --> 00:00:27,737 I've got some cheese you might like, too. 10 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,697 In between my toes. 11 00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,075 Dwight: Hardy-har—har. All right, picture this. 12 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,578 Snowy ash drizzles from the sky. 13 00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:37,914 A rabid pack of dogs surrounds you 14 00:00:38,039 --> 00:00:40,041 as the flame at the end of your stick dies out. 15 00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:43,002 There's only one hope left for you, the door to my shelter. 16 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:46,172 You pound. You beg. "Dwight, please let me in." 17 00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:48,935 But I ignore your cries and do not let you in. You want to know why? 18 00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:51,344 Because of the sign that says, "no pounding. No begging." 19 00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:53,471 No, because you laughed at me. 20 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,307 Kevin will be eaten. Pam will be taken slave. 21 00:00:56,933 --> 00:01:00,228 Jim will be made a warlord's Jester. Meredith will do okay. 22 00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:03,397 Be assured this day will come. It's just a matter of time. 23 00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:05,316 Could be one month, could be two months. 24 00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,610 Three months. Could be. 25 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,403 Four months. 26 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,572 I see that happening, yes. 27 00:01:11,656 --> 00:01:12,990 Eight months? 28 00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,117 That's a realistic timeline. 29 00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:18,871 Eleven months. 30 00:01:18,955 --> 00:01:19,997 Perhaps. 31 00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:23,668 Okay, wait, now really think hard about this one. 32 00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,002 One year. 33 00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:28,589 I could see that as a very real possibility. 34 00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,239 Four hundred and ninety-four months. 35 00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:32,468 I could see that happening. 36 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,680 Four hundred and ninety-five months. That's just... 37 00:01:56,993 --> 00:01:59,829 I really thought I was becoming too much of a womanizer. 38 00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:02,999 I realized I had shirts in five different women's houses. 39 00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:04,518 Still not seeing the problem there. 40 00:02:04,542 --> 00:02:05,542 All right. 41 00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:08,671 Truth is, I got a couple love bumps on my ding-dong, 42 00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,756 so I was like, "game over." 43 00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:14,760 Michael: It was the best of times. It was the "awesomest” of times. 44 00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:17,221 And now packer wants to come home. 45 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:20,725 And look who's here to sign off on it. 46 00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,310 My boo, Holly. 47 00:02:23,436 --> 00:02:25,062 Hi. 48 00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:27,648 You must be Todd. 49 00:02:27,732 --> 00:02:29,150 Whoa, I'm sorry. 50 00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:30,919 Michael, I thought we were meeting Holly today, 51 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:32,028 not Jennifer Aniston. 52 00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:33,154 (Laughs nervously) 53 00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:34,822 Very funny. 54 00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:36,657 Okay, let's get started. After you. 55 00:02:36,741 --> 00:02:37,908 Okay. 56 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,955 Michael, this'll be just us. 57 00:02:43,039 --> 00:02:44,415 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 58 00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:48,169 Just so you know, he's at his funniest 59 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:49,812 when you've given him, like, five shots. 60 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:50,838 Okay. 61 00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,232 And it also helps if you've had five shots. 62 00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:53,758 I already have. 63 00:02:58,387 --> 00:02:59,597 Why is packer back? 64 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:00,765 Is packer here? 65 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,099 Why is he talking to Holly? 66 00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:03,392 Don't know, don't care. 67 00:03:03,476 --> 00:03:07,271 Michael loves you, and your sales speak for themselves. So... 68 00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:08,898 (Exclaiming) 69 00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:12,943 Yes! The pack is back. 70 00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:15,279 Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you 71 00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:16,739 to a man who needs no introduction, 72 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:19,533 probably because most of you have done it with him. 73 00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:21,744 Just kidding. He wouldn't be interested in any of you. 74 00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,204 In all seriousness, 75 00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:27,166 Todd packer is a permanent salesman at this branch. 76 00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:30,419 And I would like to invite you now to welcome him with open arms. 77 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,879 Yes! What? 78 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,089 (Scattered applauding) 79 00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:34,924 It's great to be among friends. 80 00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:38,219 And until then, you suckers will do. 81 00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:39,637 Nice. 82 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,639 We got burned. Michael: You did. 83 00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:43,974 You got burned, because packer's back. 84 00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:47,395 Packer is turning in his car for a desk. 85 00:03:47,478 --> 00:03:51,649 He is turning in his condoms for a condominium, 86 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:54,378 although he's probably going to have to use condoms from here on out. 87 00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:55,945 Holly. You approved this? 88 00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:57,071 Yes, I did. 89 00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:59,657 I think Todd's gonna make a great addition to the staff. 90 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,534 You did approve it? Yeah. 91 00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:04,620 What don't you understand about the word "approved"? 92 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,747 It seems a couple of you don't know 93 00:04:06,831 --> 00:04:08,833 what the word "approved" means. 94 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:12,545 I have very little Patience for stupidity. 95 00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,464 Sorry we're late. Gabe fell in the shower. 96 00:04:15,548 --> 00:04:16,757 Such a klutz. 97 00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:19,718 Yeah, and it took the fire department forever to get there. 98 00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:22,346 Oh, my god. Where did this come from? 99 00:04:23,139 --> 00:04:24,598 Who did this? 100 00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:25,933 Pam: I got Erin a new computer 101 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:28,018 because the one at reception sucked. 102 00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:29,603 I should know. 103 00:04:29,687 --> 00:04:31,564 And I don't want to say the other one was old, 104 00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:34,567 but its ip number was one. 105 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:37,820 Right? 106 00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:38,946 Thank you, Pam. 107 00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,489 Oh, you're welcome. 108 00:04:40,573 --> 00:04:41,615 My pleasure. 109 00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:51,184 Can I do something for you? 110 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,335 I just helped someone out. It feels good. 111 00:04:53,419 --> 00:04:54,712 Nice. 112 00:04:54,879 --> 00:04:57,173 You know, I cleaned up our daughter for, 113 00:04:57,256 --> 00:04:58,984 like, an hour at 4:00 am. This morning, so... 114 00:04:59,008 --> 00:05:00,301 So you know the feeling. 115 00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:03,947 Special delivery for Dwight k. Schrute. 116 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,139 I didn't order anything. 117 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:06,491 And I don't have anything for you, 118 00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,642 but I do want to talk to you about something. 119 00:05:08,726 --> 00:05:10,766 We have been thinking about where packer should sit, 120 00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,473 and we can't just sit around waiting for creed to die. 121 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,625 Well, there's a lot of seats in the annex. 122 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,735 So you wouldn't mind permanently relocating 123 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,862 so that packer can take this desk here. 124 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,281 Todd: Thanks, man. It would mean a lot to me. 125 00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:25,034 I've been sitting here for 10 years, Michael. 126 00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:27,161 Well, I was there for 12 years. 127 00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:28,913 Plus, my name's carved under the desk. 128 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,789 No, hisnot histoo. 129 00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:32,166 Where? Let me see this. 130 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:33,667 Right there. 131 00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:34,919 Check it out. 132 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,837 Dwight: Michael, I don't want to move desks. 133 00:05:36,921 --> 00:05:38,023 Michael: Don't be a baby. We're... 134 00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:39,340 Okay, there it is. 135 00:05:39,423 --> 00:05:41,091 "Packer was here and so was your mom." 136 00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:42,176 Yeah. 137 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,299 Do I have any say in this? 138 00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:45,262 Michael: No! No! 139 00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:46,805 It's $20 to watch, Halpert. 140 00:05:48,641 --> 00:05:51,310 Hey. Whose dirt box is this? 141 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:52,770 That's our zen garden. 142 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,397 What do you growing here, bull crap? 143 00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:00,069 Hey, Holly. 144 00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:02,655 Hey. What's up, guys? 145 00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:04,156 Don't "what's up" us. 146 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:07,660 You think you're so cute with your pretty blond hair. 147 00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:11,288 Pull it back. Why did you hire Todd packer? 148 00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,957 Pam: He's seriously awful. 149 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,084 Michael's recommendation was glowing. 150 00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:17,628 And honestly, he's been nothing but nice to me. 151 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,548 That's how he gets you to take off your panties. 152 00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:21,757 Why are you nodding? 153 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,300 United front. 154 00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:26,095 Okay, look, we can't fire someone because we don't like him. 155 00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:27,638 Right. This isn't the us. Government. 156 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,099 What are you referencing? 157 00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:32,142 Everything. Everything. 158 00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:35,563 Do any of you have any concrete complaints about something he's done? 159 00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:36,939 Well, I mean, he humped Michael. 160 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:40,442 Well, if that's the case, I guess I've got to be fired, too. 161 00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:44,446 Hey. Hey, you guys. 162 00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,930 The yarmouth regatta video is up. Gather round. Check it out. 163 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,160 This guy's on a full beam reach. 164 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,537 They're hiking out like mad. 165 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,163 Luff him up. Luff him up. 166 00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:55,332 Nice! 167 00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:59,253 This computer's a hunk ofjunk. 168 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:02,172 Hey, sailor, come watch your regatta over here. 169 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:03,549 Where did you get this? 170 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,301 Pam gave it to me. 171 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:08,512 This is a sick computer. 172 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,431 Gwen Stefani has this computer. 173 00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:13,767 Pamem. Yep? 174 00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:18,022 What does a guy have to do to whom to get one of them? 175 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,773 You have a computer, Andy. 176 00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:21,626 Yeah, but if you donated my computer to Africa, 177 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:24,445 it would become famous as the slowest computer in Africa. 178 00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:27,364 Okay, listen, we just don't have the budget for it, okay? 179 00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,617 Reception needed a computer, so we got one. 180 00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,910 Well, Andy's desk needs a computer. 181 00:07:32,036 --> 00:07:35,205 And, I mean, it's just kind of a coincidence that I work there, but... 182 00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,458 Yes, but reception is a one-person department. 183 00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:40,628 If I get you a new computer, I have to get one for everyone in sales, 184 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:43,047 for Dwight, for Stanley. It would be crazy. 185 00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:46,884 So something good happening to Stanley is crazy now. 186 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,194 Andy: They're not asking for one. 187 00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:49,345 I am. I need it. 188 00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:52,056 If you're just handing them out, I want one, too. 189 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,058 Phyllis, nobody's handing anything out. 190 00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,851 See? That's what I'm talking about. 191 00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,686 What, are you gonna play mahjongg faster? 192 00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,480 Pam: I'm sorry, Andy. 193 00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:06,403 Hey, what's going on, you guys? 194 00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:07,488 Yeah. 195 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:08,572 Three muske-queers. 196 00:08:09,782 --> 00:08:10,991 Mean, but good. 197 00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:14,161 So, Todd, this must be nice for you, getting off the road. 198 00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:15,889 You get to spend some time with your daughter. 199 00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,373 I don't know. 200 00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:19,917 I love her and all, but she's turned into a bitch. 201 00:08:20,084 --> 00:08:22,836 Most days she's great, but some days she acts like her mom. 202 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:24,838 Well, some girls go through a phase. 203 00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:27,341 Yeah. Your life is so insane. 204 00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:29,343 You should write a book. 205 00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:30,866 Since when did you learn how to read? 206 00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:33,055 I do know how to read, though. 207 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:35,974 Yeah. You know how to read a menu. 208 00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:37,518 (Laughs) 209 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:39,019 This guy... 210 00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:46,402 I... he's right. I mean, I could lose some weight. 211 00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,612 Kevin, in sumo culture, 212 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,448 you'd be considered a promising up-and-comer. 213 00:08:57,371 --> 00:09:00,874 What the heck? Why do you have Erin's computer? 214 00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:02,000 It's crazy, right? 215 00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:04,628 Erin just wanted me to have it, so we switched. 216 00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:07,089 What? Erin, is that true? 217 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,383 I just thought he seemed to really need a new computer, 218 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:10,735 and he knows so much about that one. 219 00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:14,596 Erin, it's not up to you. This computer was for reception, okay? 220 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:16,223 It's not yours to give away. 221 00:09:17,975 --> 00:09:19,560 Pam. 222 00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:22,730 When I'm freaking out, I just sort of step back, 223 00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:24,898 take three deep breaths. I'm not freaking out. Okay? 224 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:26,650 And then I ask myself, 225 00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:30,070 "is this worth freaking out about?" 226 00:09:30,154 --> 00:09:32,865 Andy, why should she have your crappy computer? 227 00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:34,408 That's interesting. 228 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,410 So you also think my computer's crappy. 229 00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,245 Switch the computers back, Andy. 230 00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,332 Sedousw? Sedousw. 231 00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,418 Pam, come on. 232 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,211 Pam: Now, please. Andy: Fine! 233 00:09:48,881 --> 00:09:51,216 Please make sure nobody is humping me. 234 00:09:51,884 --> 00:09:53,111 If you're going back to the annex, 235 00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,375 could you take these to Dwight? 236 00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,096 I think the ants are waking up. 237 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:57,460 They need to start farming soon. 238 00:09:58,182 --> 00:09:59,475 Thanks. 239 00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:01,518 Best day ever. Best day ever. 240 00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:04,480 So much is happening. 241 00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:07,816 Question. Should I get stripes shaved into the side of my head? 242 00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:09,234 No. No. 243 00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:10,319 Please. 244 00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:12,237 Did Todd tell you to do that? Yes. 245 00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:14,114 Yeah, I thought so. You love him, right? 246 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:16,492 You love him. I can tell. 247 00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:18,410 I love you. No, no, not me. 248 00:10:18,494 --> 00:10:19,661 Him. What... 249 00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:21,288 He's certainly opinionated. 250 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:22,557 If you're not gonna take the ants over, 251 00:10:22,581 --> 00:10:24,421 I should probably just do it myself. I'm going. 252 00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:29,630 No. Are you jealous of him because you think he's funnier than you? 253 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,380 Honey. 254 00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:32,484 I don't think he's funnier than me. 255 00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:33,675 He's funnier than me. 256 00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,178 He's not funny at all. 257 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,280 So I'm less funny than not funny at all? 258 00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:40,724 Hey, oh-oh, I think the ants are starting to eat each other. 259 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:45,562 No, what I'm saying is he's not funny, but you're funnier than he is. 260 00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:49,399 Okay, bill cosby, Steve Martin, 261 00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:51,318 Charlie bit my finger, 262 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:54,363 Michael Scott, then all the way down here, 263 00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:56,323 Todd packer. 264 00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,408 Thafsinsane. 265 00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:00,744 Honey, he's a jerk. 266 00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:03,872 For Pete's sake, it just needs to be done. 267 00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:10,796 So you two are married now, right? 268 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,047 Yeah. 269 00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:14,174 That's sweet. How's the sex? 270 00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,218 Yeah. Dwight: Hey, packer, 271 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,846 I made you some hot chocolate. 272 00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,849 'Cause I want to let bygones be bygones, 273 00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:23,016 show you I'm cool. 274 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:25,102 You're the new guy. It's cold out. I made too much. 275 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,247 I got this awesome hot chocolate recipe from my wife. 276 00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:29,022 That's a lot of reasons. 277 00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,274 Drink it. 278 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,441 I think I'll pass. 279 00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:34,653 The only hot chocolate I'm into is vivica a. Fox. 280 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:35,922 Can I talk to you for a second? 281 00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:37,364 Here. Okay. Okay. Okay. 282 00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:38,925 So this hot chocolate thing with packer... 283 00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:40,284 None of your business. 284 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,786 Well, you know you can't actually poison him. Right? 285 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,872 It isn't poison. It's a laxative. 286 00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:46,315 People take laxatives all the time. 287 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,710 This is just a lot more of a laxative. Let me handle it. 288 00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:52,605 I really think we should join forces on this one. 289 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:53,881 Really? What do we think? 290 00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:55,591 What would drive him crazy? 291 00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:57,885 I know. Here we go. 292 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,721 Pepto-bismol in his hot chocolate. 293 00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:02,097 You have got to stop 294 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,599 with the hot chocolate stuff. 295 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:04,725 Okay. 296 00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,452 I was thinking maybe we could jam his drawers 297 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:07,895 so they only come out two inches. 298 00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:09,897 Then, that way, you can see everything in them, 299 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,023 but you can't get at it. 300 00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:15,277 Does Edgar Allan poe know about that one? So sinister. 301 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,904 That wouldn't annoy a person at all. 302 00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,447 Where do you come up with this stuff? 303 00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:21,491 Okay. All right, well, this isn't my best, but call froggy 101, 304 00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:23,928 say that we're the tour manager for Justin bieber, 305 00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:25,138 and we're giving away free tickets. 306 00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:27,765 We give them a number to call for the tickets, and it's his number. 307 00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:29,082 Who is justice beaver? 308 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:33,462 He... it's a crime-fighting beaver. 309 00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:35,839 Why don't you write up your best 40 ideas 310 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,317 and e-mail them to me. Can you do that? 311 00:12:37,341 --> 00:12:38,484 Absolutely. I'll e-mail you 100. 312 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,508 Okay. 313 00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:43,347 Yeah. Write up your list of 100, edit it down to your top 40, 314 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,598 and I'll read it over. 315 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,099 Pam, can I talk to you in private? 316 00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:48,620 I don't know if there's really a private place in this office. 317 00:12:48,644 --> 00:12:50,371 Well, I put a sign-up sheet in the conference room, 318 00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,272 and I signed us up for three mods. 319 00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:55,776 A mod is five minutes, and it started two minutes ago, so... 320 00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:57,545 You did that? Can we talk about this in the meeting? 321 00:12:57,569 --> 00:12:59,029 Okay. 'Cause we're already late. 322 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:00,673 Wow, when did people sign up for that? 323 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:01,697 Mind if I close the door? 324 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,994 What you did out there earlier was totally UN-cool. 325 00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:08,664 Well, what I was supposed to do, let you walk all over me? 326 00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,749 You humiliated me in front of everybody. 327 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,378 Okay, well, I didn't think about it like that. 328 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,338 It's just... I can't do anything about it. 329 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,757 I can't replace your computer unless that one breaks. 330 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,134 Well, I mean, it's pretty broken already. 331 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:24,012 Well, if it breaks all the way, 332 00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:25,222 I can get you a new one. 333 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:30,060 Pretty sneaky, sis. 334 00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:31,937 (Knocking on door) 335 00:13:33,397 --> 00:13:37,192 Hey, cats, we got a jam session in mods six, nine and 12. 336 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,489 There are 400 of these. 337 00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:44,241 Yeah, I couldn't cut it down. 338 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,534 They're all good. 339 00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:49,663 So good. "Number three, eat a frog." That sounds promising. 340 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,456 "Number four, eat a dog." 341 00:13:51,707 --> 00:13:54,334 I don't know, from a practical standpoint... 342 00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:56,461 One thirty-five. Did you like one thirty-five? 343 00:13:57,004 --> 00:14:00,424 "Eat a brog." Maybe it's 'cause I didn't understand it. 344 00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:05,137 I just had a couple of notes. Let me grab a pen and... 345 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:06,930 Damn it. 346 00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:12,352 Just when we were... just when we were getting going. 347 00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:27,784 Allow all cookies? Why, soitenly. 348 00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:29,911 Pop-ups? Yes, please. 349 00:14:30,746 --> 00:14:33,707 Bit torrent streaming from a somalian music website? 350 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,292 Yeah, why not? 351 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,546 I hope you don't get sick, Mr. Computer. 352 00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:42,424 Why are you doing this to me, Andy? 353 00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:44,760 Because I hate your broke ass. 354 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,846 And a 76ers fan to boot. I like that. 355 00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:49,556 And you made Hank smile. 356 00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:52,017 That doesn't happen often. You're very charming. 357 00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:55,228 You know what? That is something that you should take upstairs 358 00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:57,564 and use on the people that really matter. 359 00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:00,442 I don't know. 360 00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:03,737 Holly mentioned that there were some complaints 361 00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,947 and that you had said some things about Kevin. 362 00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,866 Holly said that? Yeah. 363 00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:09,910 She was laughing hysterically the whole time. 364 00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:11,971 I guess you said something weird about your daughter. 365 00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:14,956 She asked me, Michael. It would have been rude not to answer. 366 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,917 You've been on the road a long time. 367 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,002 And you've been an outdoor cat. 368 00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:20,962 And now you have to be an indoor cat, 369 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,215 so you can't be peeing all over the walls. 370 00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:26,009 Michael, can I open the kimono with you? 371 00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:29,012 I've been on the road too long. 372 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:32,224 But I want to connect with my daughter. 373 00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:34,494 And it's not right to call her a bitch in front of strangers. 374 00:15:34,518 --> 00:15:36,186 No, it isn't. 375 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,498 You're right. I got to... I got to watch my behavior. 376 00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:39,689 Yeah, a little bit. 377 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:42,692 Don't give up on me. 378 00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:46,696 I won't. 379 00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:50,575 Okay. Everybody? I need you to see this, 380 00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:52,786 because maybe there is somebody here 381 00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:55,622 that you underestimated who will surprise you. 382 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,041 Todd packer is going to apologize. 383 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,043 Kevin, front and center. Come here. 384 00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:03,338 I got a lot of numbers here to put together. 385 00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:05,924 Kevin, we know that you are just trying to save face. 386 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,135 We know that you are hurt and embarrassed. 387 00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:09,719 That's silly. 388 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:12,055 I should be apologizing to packer, 389 00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:16,184 'cause everybody knows that I can dish it as good as I can take it. 390 00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:19,896 Okay, sweetie, no, you shouldn't be apologizing to packer. 391 00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:21,356 That doesn't make any sense. 392 00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:23,483 You ready for this? Are you ready for this? Mmm-hmm. 393 00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:25,569 Gentlemen, start your engines. 394 00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:29,698 I'm sorry if you were offended by my comments earlier. 395 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,700 Well, like I said, I wasn't offended, 396 00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,785 but I'll stand here for the big show. 397 00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:36,204 Kevin, do you accept the apology? 398 00:16:36,288 --> 00:16:38,415 Don't do it, Kevin. That's that fake kind of apology. 399 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:39,833 Okay, go back to the annex. 400 00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:42,419 This is textbook. It's so UN-cool. 401 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,462 Ryan does this to me all the time, 402 00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:46,423 like it's some offense to have feelings. 403 00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:47,549 Don't do it, Kevin. 404 00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:48,675 Sometimes you overreact. 405 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,236 Oscar: Michael, how is this supposed to work? 406 00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,179 Packer's gonna keep saying terrible things, 407 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,347 and then he's just gonna make half-ass apologies, 408 00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:55,599 and we're back to square one. 409 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,934 Okay. You want an apology? Here goes. 410 00:16:58,435 --> 00:17:00,270 Kevin, I am so sorry. 411 00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:03,273 You are skinny, and you're a genius. 412 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:06,109 Okay. That... That was maybe too much. 413 00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:09,863 Packer is a survivor of divorce, Stanley. 414 00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:13,200 Packer doesn't speak with his child, Meredith. 415 00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:16,786 Packer never lived up to his parents' expectations, Andy. 416 00:17:16,912 --> 00:17:18,121 (Laughs) 417 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:21,041 Angela loves pussycats. Packer loves... 418 00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:22,125 No, don't. 419 00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:23,793 I was going to say "dogs!" 420 00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:25,754 Okay, you know what? This is over. 421 00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:28,423 Apology has been issued, and we're through with it. 422 00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:32,802 Packer's going to be here until the day he dies, just like the rest of us. 423 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:37,224 So, listen, we have to really scuff this up. 424 00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:40,810 No, no, no, we can say that the previous owner was a neat freak 425 00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:42,979 or an elegant old lady, and she just kept it around 426 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,065 in case her grandkids came to visit. 427 00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:48,526 But they died, and they never came. I'm gonna make myself cry. 428 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,695 Andy, this is the deal we made. 429 00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:52,465 That's probably good. That's enough. 430 00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:53,949 We should break this hinge maybe. 431 00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,492 Let's not go crazy. 432 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:56,701 Well, thanks. Will do. 433 00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:59,037 Jim: Absolutely. Now, when you get down there, 434 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,248 Jo's a little bit forgetful, 435 00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:03,291 so she may have locked the gate, 436 00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:05,335 but what you're gonna do is, go ahead, hop it, 437 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,045 and just head back to the pool. 438 00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,338 That sounds weird. 439 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,590 Jim: It is weird. Look at you. Perceptive. 440 00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:13,593 Now I know why Jo's kept her eye on you. 441 00:18:13,677 --> 00:18:15,363 (In southern accent) And you make sure to get down there 442 00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:16,972 and check out the Harry Potter world. 443 00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:19,641 Jim: Whatever you want to do in your spare time is up to you. 444 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:22,477 Harry Potter world is supposed to be fantastic. 445 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,121 Apparently, as soon as corporate found out 446 00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:25,981 I wanted to come in off the road, 447 00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:28,817 Jo offered me a cushy new job in Tallahassee. 448 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,277 And here's the best part. 449 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,946 I'm a huge alligator nerd. 450 00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:37,033 I can name you every genus, every subspecies. 451 00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:38,910 Also, I'm a huge boob nerd. 452 00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:41,454 Check it out and have a free butterbeer on us. 453 00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:43,099 Keep the receipt, and we'll get you back. 454 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:44,582 What are you doing? 455 00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:45,726 This is a very important client. 456 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,061 All right, so just pack your bags. 457 00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:49,129 And be sure to bring those swimming trunks. 458 00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:50,422 Bye, now. Bye. 459 00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:54,134 I cannot believe this. You're sending packer to Florida? Why? 460 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:55,945 Because he's a jerk. You gave him my desk. 461 00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:58,888 Okay. So you're tricking him into flying to Florida. 462 00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:01,253 This wasn't my first choice. Jim had so many better ideas. 463 00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,369 You have to tell him. You have to tell him what you did. 464 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:05,979 No, no, no, no, no, no. That is not in the plan. 465 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:07,689 That is actually anti what we're doing. 466 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,733 He is my oldest friend. I am going to tell him. 467 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:12,378 Wait. Why don't we come up with a plan that we're all happy about? 468 00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:13,653 Yeah, that... 469 00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:16,948 Pam, how is this thing even any better than my old computer? 470 00:19:17,032 --> 00:19:19,826 Come on, Andy. I mean, you said you wanted a computer. 471 00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:21,286 This is the best I could do. 472 00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:22,829 Where'd you even find this thing? 473 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,352 Like, in the corner of the warehouse? 474 00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:26,791 Yes, I found it on a shelf in the corner of the warehouse. 475 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:30,795 All right, well, thank you for my garbage computer. 476 00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:35,633 (Computer starting) 477 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:38,511 (Knock on door) 478 00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,638 You're looking at the new face of corporate. 479 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:43,224 Gonna put the "ass" in Tallahassee. 480 00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:44,559 Yes, about that... 481 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:46,603 Man, we got to go out and celebrate tonight. 482 00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:48,411 Well, I don't know if that's a good idea. 483 00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:50,398 The old ball and chain? 484 00:19:50,482 --> 00:19:52,233 No. No. Nothing like that at all. 485 00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:53,860 Listen, I'm gonna tell you something 486 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:56,363 that none of these people have the stones to tell you. 487 00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:57,864 It's your girlfriend. 488 00:19:58,531 --> 00:19:59,783 She's uptight. 489 00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:01,826 Sorry? 490 00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,203 I know this stuff can hurt, 491 00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:05,747 but I wish someone had said something to me about my ex-wife. 492 00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:08,708 All I'm saying is, in about a month or so, have you down to Florida, 493 00:20:08,792 --> 00:20:12,087 introduce you to all the local talent. 494 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,883 Sounds great. 495 00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,093 Yeah. It's gonna be so good. 496 00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:19,736 Michael: That is. It's gonna be awesome. 497 00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:23,056 I think you're really going to enjoy it down there. 498 00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:28,103 I'm sorry about your friend. 499 00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:30,063 No. He's an ass. 500 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,232 You are. 501 00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,402 You are. 502 00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:38,446 What are you, wicked smaht? 503 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,157 No, you are. 504 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,951 Hoo-ah! 505 00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,165 Hoo-ah! 506 00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:54,003 Saw Andy's new computer you found in the warehouse. 507 00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:55,338 Yep. Lucked out. 508 00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:56,423 Yeah, you really did, 509 00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:59,426 'cause I know every inch of that warehouse. 510 00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:01,636 Yep. Super lucky. 511 00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:02,988 Maybe you could go back down there 512 00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:05,473 and see if you can find me some extra sick days. 513 00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:13,523 Yeah. 514 00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:18,194 You know what? I think I saw one sick day. 515 00:21:20,238 --> 00:21:21,614 I think maybe I saw five. 516 00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:22,782 Three. 517 00:21:26,744 --> 00:21:28,538 I'm full-on corrupt.