1 00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:03,504 Michael: Kahlua sombrero, please. 2 00:00:03,587 --> 00:00:04,880 All right. So just you tonight? 3 00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:08,091 Actually, I'm meeting somebody, but I'm a little bit early. 4 00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:11,970 Leaving my company after 19 years. 5 00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:13,430 I'll drink to that. 6 00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:15,873 I'm starting at a company this week. 7 00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:17,267 Oh, really? 8 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:18,727 To beginnings and endings. 9 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:22,981 And to middles. The unsung heroes. And to moms. 10 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:24,608 The moms of the troops. 11 00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:25,817 Mmm. 12 00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:28,779 Do not tell my fiancee I'm drinking on a Wednesday. 13 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,489 (Laughs) I won't. 14 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:32,366 I don't know her. 15 00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:33,534 Moving out to the 'burbs. 16 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:36,137 Actually, I'm moving further than the 'burbs. Moving to Colorado. 17 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,204 Colorado? Yeah. 18 00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:38,830 Sunshine state. Yep. 19 00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:39,915 Don't mess with Colorado. 20 00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:40,999 No, don't. 21 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,501 Doing some skiing? 22 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,711 No, no. I don't want to end up like Sonny bobo. 23 00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:48,006 Well, that's just good sense right there, yeah. 24 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:50,676 Everyone I know who skis is dead. 25 00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:54,155 You know what? I would like to try the luge, though. 26 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,223 Try it once, you're hooked. 27 00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:58,183 That's my guess. That's what I've heard. 28 00:00:58,267 --> 00:00:59,476 I'm an Olympics nut. 29 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,687 Oh, yeah? Me, too. Summer or winter? 30 00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:04,106 Summen summen 31 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,358 knuckle. Actually, 32 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,628 I've got to come around and give you... yeah, come on. 33 00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:11,405 You know, it's funny. I actually tried 34 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,574 to get an animal Olympics going. 35 00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:15,158 Really? What happened? 36 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,828 You know, life happened. 37 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,048 What are you gonna miss most about Scranton? 38 00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:24,334 Mmm-hmm. Oh. Wow. The mountains, where things are. 39 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:26,878 That's the way it goes. 40 00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,298 Man, he is late. 41 00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:30,858 I'm gonna call him. Do you mind? I'm sorry. 42 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,259 No, no. 43 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:34,011 Where is this guy? 44 00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:37,598 (Phone vibrating) (Clears throat) 45 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,266 Excuse me. 46 00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,437 Hello? This is Michael Scott. 47 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,188 Yes, hi. Yes. 48 00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,315 You running late? 49 00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:49,026 No, I'm here. I'm at the bar. 50 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,110 I'm at the bar, too. 51 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,154 You are? What bar? 52 00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:57,701 I'm at the bar, the bar that's located in the lobby of the hotel. 53 00:01:57,993 --> 00:01:59,036 I do not see you. 54 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,120 How long have you... 55 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:03,290 I've been here about, gosh, over half an hour. 56 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:04,625 Okay, yeah, me, too. 57 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,752 Sorry. Sorry. 58 00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:07,919 What are you wearing? 59 00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:10,547 I'm wearing a gray suit, red tie. 60 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,549 Are we both at the right place? 61 00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:15,010 Which place would... 62 00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,178 I hear your voice. 63 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,679 Ihearyoun_ I see your lips moving. 64 00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:19,056 I hear your voice 65 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:23,310 in the phone. And that's... Man! And... oh, brother. 66 00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:25,145 (Both laughing) 67 00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:26,229 Michael Scott. 68 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,314 Deangelo vickers. 69 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:28,649 Wow. 70 00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:30,651 That is insane. 71 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:33,528 "That is insane" is right. That's the right term. 72 00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:36,365 Bartender, let's get some vodka up in this cranberry 73 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,824 and one for my friend. 74 00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:41,370 I have heard that it is impossible to become addicted to vodka. 75 00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:44,623 That is true. That is true. Vodka is non-addictive. 76 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:48,377 Most of the higher spirits are undetectable. 77 00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:49,753 It's because of the potato. 78 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,338 One, two, three... two, three. 79 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,964 To new friends. 80 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:55,383 Wow. 81 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:56,510 Wow. Wow. 82 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,596 This is gonna take hours. 83 00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:02,182 Are her breasts different? 84 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,265 No panties on this one. 85 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:04,518 Okay, good. Good. 86 00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,728 And I think the sail was folded differently. 87 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,706 Oh! No. No, it's good. That's okay. That's okay. 88 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:09,730 It's all good. 89 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,859 On this one, I think she's like, "get lost," 90 00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:14,653 but on this one, I think I have a chance. 91 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:15,778 Okay. No. 92 00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,340 Now, I still think the sail is different. 93 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,532 (Exclaims) Come on. 94 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:19,735 Hey, I think this is broken. 95 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,119 Wanna play again? Definitely! 96 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:23,787 That right there... 97 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:25,194 You want to try this. Trust me. 98 00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,289 Really? Trust me. 99 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,458 You want to try this. 100 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,628 Mmm-hmm! Are you kidding me? 101 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:34,673 Because one day, they say that blueberries prevent cancer, 102 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,151 and then the next day, they say that blueberries cause cancer. 103 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,885 That's totally true. 104 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:42,806 You know what would be a great onion headline? "Cancer prevents cancer." 105 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,391 (Both laughing) 106 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,023 That's so onion. I know! 107 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,818 It's so you, but it's also so onion. 108 00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:58,196 Here we go. Ready? 109 00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,322 I am ready. 110 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,574 All right, here we go. 111 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:06,163 Well, this is it. What do you think? 112 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:11,084 She'll do. Oh, she'll do just fine. 113 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:12,711 (Chuckles) 114 00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:16,798 I am very much looking forward to tomorrow. It is... 115 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,986 (Sighs) It feels like the culmination of a lot of hard work, 116 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,970 a lot of good fortune and... 117 00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:23,180 (Smokers) 118 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,516 (Laughs) Hey, come on. Did that... did that just happen? 119 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:30,479 We should write a movie or something. I'm serious. 120 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,547 Rise and shine. Coffee time. 121 00:04:58,381 --> 00:04:59,382 There you go. 122 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,426 (Sighs) 123 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,971 Do not talk to me until I have had my coffee. 124 00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:09,434 Until I've had my coffee, do not talk to me. 125 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:14,731 Mmm. 126 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,443 Oh, I feel better. 127 00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:19,820 I feel awesome. 128 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,780 It does not agree with me, 129 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,449 coffee... 130 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:25,826 And yet, I have to have it. 131 00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:28,495 You know what? Coffee keeps me regular. 132 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,038 Yeah. 133 00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,042 Thatsthe best time of the day. That's... that's... 134 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,484 In that regard. Right, right, right. 135 00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:36,646 And it's the best time of the day. 136 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:37,712 Right, right, right. 137 00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:41,466 I give it about seven minutes. 138 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,635 Yup. Really. 139 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,178 Seven minutes from this. 140 00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:46,805 Beehne. 141 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:50,475 So at 8:37... 142 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:57,023 Michael is leaving. 143 00:05:57,107 --> 00:06:00,318 And apparently they already hired a new manager. 144 00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:03,613 And we're meeting him today. It's a lot to process. 145 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,575 Paperwork-wise. 146 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:15,959 Nope, it's not Ashton kutcher. It's Kevin Malone. 147 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:19,170 Equally handsome, equally smart. 148 00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:22,632 Good morning. Michael: Good morning. 149 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,970 Good morning. Good morning, to you. 150 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,517 What's this? 151 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,145 Oh, nothing. That is just a screenplay. 152 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:39,482 The adventure pals by Deangelo vickers and Michael Scott. 153 00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,319 Oh, my gosh, it's 150 pages long. 154 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,405 Okay, everyone, as you know, 155 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:49,326 one of my favorite things is fanfare for its own sake. 156 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,620 So without further ado, 157 00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,705 let's all start clapping. 158 00:06:56,917 --> 00:07:01,004 Presenting Deangelo vickers! 159 00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,799 Hi. Hello. 160 00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,510 Michael: Come on out! 161 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,973 Hello. Hey. How are you, sir? 162 00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:13,433 I'm well, sir, how are you? 163 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:16,519 Uh, can I just say I am so excited to be working here. 164 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:20,023 We couldn't be more excited about having you here. Welcome. 165 00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:24,277 Little bit about myself, I love the American southwest, for starters. 166 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:28,073 You may call them Arizona, new Mexico, Nevada, Utah. 167 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:29,449 I call them heaven. 168 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:32,452 I have a peanut allergy, something I live with. 169 00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,579 It's a part of me. I've learned to cope with it. 170 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:38,041 I was a nationally ranked high jumper in high school. 171 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:39,584 Really? Yeah. 172 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,668 I didn't know that. 173 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,629 Couldn't do it in college for academic reasons, 174 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,923 and that's something that still bugs me. 175 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:50,387 What else? I'm just as comfortable at a ball game as I am at the opera. 176 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:52,305 I was a... 177 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:55,308 Did I want to be made manager? Sure. 178 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,894 A great opportunity squandered? Absolutely. 179 00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,647 A crushing blow? Yes. 180 00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,149 Will I get over it? 181 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,275 Mmm... 182 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:09,406 But life goes on. Not for me. 183 00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:12,075 I think with a little hard work, 184 00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:16,037 we can become the greatest office in the world. 185 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:20,500 And I truly believe that, that's not an understatement. Okay? 186 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,252 Right? 187 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,879 Yeah. Yeah? Yeah? Okay. 188 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,090 That's about it. That's about it? 189 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,383 Yeah. There's so much more. 190 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:30,969 This guy is being so modest, no. 191 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:34,180 There's a lot more to him than what he just said. 192 00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:38,101 We can't wait to learn it all, right, guys? Again, welcome. 193 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,354 Fantastic. Thank you so much. 194 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:43,231 Sir? Yes. 195 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,316 Thank you very much. 196 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,028 So we talked for like 20 minutes, 197 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,822 no clue it's Deangelo the whole time. 198 00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:52,282 It's kind of embarrassing. 199 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,491 No, no. 200 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,785 Yeah, that story makes you sound stupid. 201 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:59,914 I happen to like the hilarious high jinks that I get myself into. 202 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,541 There he is, there he is. 203 00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:05,253 Deangelo, I was just telling them about last night when we met. 204 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,505 Remember that? (Laughs) 205 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,549 That was crazy. That was crazy. 206 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:12,093 Let's see, where's my replacement? 207 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,888 Where's the guy I'm replacing? I don't know. 208 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,890 Why don't I look to my left? (Laughs) I know. 209 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,433 He's sitting right there. I know. 210 00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:22,353 Well, that's what I was just saying. That's... 211 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:26,274 That exact situation is why I always carry around a couple of these. 212 00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:27,734 Just in case, 'cause, you know, 213 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,128 sometimes you need to ID yourself. 214 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,487 (Laughing) 215 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:31,946 Office funny guy. 216 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,866 Always glad to have an office funny guy around. 217 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,465 Andy: I wasn't even trying to make a joke. 218 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:42,540 I guess I've always been sort of quirky, offbeat, a little twisted. 219 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:47,212 This is Jim and Pam, a.K.A. Jap. 220 00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:51,174 What started as an affair has blossomed into a family before our eyes. 221 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,152 Well, it wasn't... it wasn't an affair. Yes, it was. 222 00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:54,803 But, no, but we are a family. 223 00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,137 We made that. 224 00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:57,472 Cecelia. Deangelo: Oh! 225 00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,891 Congraunafions thank you. 226 00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,054 I have four kids of my own. 227 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,143 Really? Yeah. 228 00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:06,189 Oh, my gosh, well, we just have the one, but she poops for four. 229 00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:07,523 Uh-oh. 230 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:10,568 Someone started off on a good foot with the new boss. 231 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:13,113 Yeah, they don't ever talk about careers that were made 232 00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:16,074 because of unplanned pregnancies. So... 233 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:20,078 Meredith has shown me her breasts on three separate occasions. 234 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:22,038 Really? There's Dwight. Dwight! 235 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:25,392 Best right-hand man in the business, but you better buy a taser 236 00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:26,644 to keep him from wiping you butt. 237 00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:29,212 Hey, Dwight. You had something to say to Deangelo? 238 00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:33,758 "Welcome, new manager of dunder Mifflin. 239 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,971 "I am Dwight k. Schrute, I am assistant regional manager. 240 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:40,557 "I will be at your Beck and call, night and day. 241 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:45,061 "Consider me an extension of your own hand. I serve at your pleasure. 242 00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:48,898 "Congratulations on joining the staff here. 243 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,733 "This truly is a great day." 244 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:52,610 The end. 245 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,737 Very nice. Thank you. 246 00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,406 I brought you some cookies. 247 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,217 Oh, Dwight's home baked cookies. Really, you didn't have to. 248 00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,885 These are the best. Lemon bars or the coconut ones? 249 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,452 I got these at the store. 250 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:05,123 Apparently it's one of the most popular brands in the United States. 251 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,750 Enjoy. Chips ahoy! 252 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,002 Okay. 253 00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:14,007 Maybe he ran out of yeast, I don't know. 254 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:17,635 Maybe syrup? No, not... Well, maybe syrup. I don't know. 255 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,640 But didn't... oh, sure, sure. You can use syrup. 256 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,015 That apple looks delish. 257 00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:23,766 I do a lot of portion control. 258 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,436 Try to keep my daily caloric intake under 1,200. 259 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,771 Deangelo, you're going to starve to death. 260 00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:29,856 (Deangelo laughs) 261 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,750 So you decided to have an orgy and not invite me? 262 00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,234 Come on. I call middle. 263 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,069 (All laugh) 264 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:36,988 That's cool that you like the southwest. 265 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,865 It's one of my favorite regions. 266 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:42,952 "It's one of my favorite regions." Did I just sound totally lame? 267 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,332 I sounded good. 268 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,919 I love the desert. It's one of my favorite ecosystems. 269 00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,171 Here's the great thing about the southwest, 270 00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:55,924 there is so much more than desert. 271 00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:58,134 Along the north rim of the Grand Canyon 272 00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:00,470 is a forest as lush as you've ever seen. 273 00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:02,680 Burned. It's lush, dummy. 274 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:06,309 Hey, Deangelo, what do you think about bald people? 275 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:08,811 I hate them. 276 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:11,397 Deangelo, I forget, did you mention you liked politics? 277 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:12,481 I did not. 278 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,609 Because I was thinking, you should meet my boyfriend. 279 00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:15,944 He's a state senator. 280 00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:19,405 I really think the two of you would hit it off. He's a great person to know. 281 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,324 Sounds very interesting, thank you. 282 00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:22,659 Angela: Mmm-hmm. 283 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,619 Psst. Thanks for meeting me. 284 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:25,703 Are you kidding? 285 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,580 I would come anywhere to see a turtle. Yeah. 286 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:28,748 Where'd you find him? 287 00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,727 There's no turtle, Michael. I just wanted to get you here. 288 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:32,794 (Groans) 289 00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:34,254 You know me very well, Dwight. 290 00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,547 That's because I'm your right-hand man, Michael. 291 00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,424 But I can't do it. I can't do it again. 292 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,348 I can't be a right-hand man to a whole new guy. 293 00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:43,012 Now, I'm gonna have to go online and look at turtles 294 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,490 or else I'm gonna be off the whole day. 295 00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,641 I want to be manager. 296 00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,269 I have been Robin to your Batman for 11 years, 297 00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:51,354 11 glorious years, Michael. 298 00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:54,691 But at a certain point, Robin needs to become Batman. 299 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,610 Batman scares me, Dwight. Let's not talk about Batman. 300 00:12:57,694 --> 00:13:00,780 Yeah, well, you know what? Bats scared Bruce Wayne, too. 301 00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:03,616 That's why he became Batman. Ha! 302 00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:08,621 What are you thinking? 303 00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:09,706 Nothing. 304 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,165 Is there a turtle man? 305 00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:12,500 No, Michael... (Groans) 306 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:16,879 I just don't understand why I wasn't even interviewed for the job. 307 00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:18,298 I mean, what's wrong? 308 00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:21,301 I'm totally qualified. You were pushing for me. 309 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:24,220 I didn't know Dwight wanted to be manager. 310 00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:26,472 (Sighs) 311 00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:31,144 Deangelo. You'll get a kick out of this. 312 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,645 Do you know those old school blocks, 313 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,772 the wooden blocks for kids? Mmm-hmm. 314 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:37,525 Oh, my gosh, yes. Oh, yeah. The block story. This is great. 315 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:38,609 Right. Okay, go ahead. 316 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,504 So, the blocks with the letters on... with the letters. 317 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:41,547 Yes, right, okay. Yeah sure, sure, sure. 318 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,031 So we give a set of those to Cece 319 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,633 and we turn around for, like, a second... 320 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:45,658 A second. A second. 321 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:50,496 And we turn back, and she has spelled out the word "ass" in the blocks. 322 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,291 So we're laughing, she's grinning... 323 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:54,792 It was so funny. 324 00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:58,171 Kids are a riot. They really do say the darndest things. 325 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,214 (Phone rings) 326 00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:03,801 Dunder Mifflin. This is Erin. Okay, let me transfer you. 327 00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,138 Why do you use your name when you answer the phone? 328 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:09,349 Oh, that's how Pam does it. I just copy her. 329 00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:11,434 She's sort of a living legend. 330 00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:12,977 (Chuckles) 331 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,301 Try it without using your name. 332 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,481 Dunder Mifflin. This is. 333 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,442 Oh, yeah, I like it. 334 00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,986 Dunder Mifflin. How may I assist you? 335 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:23,571 Oh. "Assist." 336 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:24,734 I sort of like the old way. 337 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,242 I just prefer it without the name. 338 00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:30,203 Andlthought_ okay. No, no, no. 339 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,222 I've got to start doing some managing at some point, right? 340 00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:34,266 I know, I know. I'm sorry. But if it's not a big deal, 341 00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:35,851 we should just do the old way. And it really isn't. 342 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,543 Okay. That good? Erin: Yeah, okay, good. 343 00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:39,545 Well, I'd like to change it, actually. 344 00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,714 Michael: Well, you know, whatever... 345 00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:43,424 Yeah. Whatever you think would work. 346 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,009 What do you... yeah. 347 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:46,719 I think a change would be nice. 348 00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:50,473 You could do the old way or the, you know... whichever one you want to do. 349 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,891 Mmm-hmm. (Phone ringing) 350 00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:55,965 Deangelo: (Whispering) Change it. 351 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,022 (Phone continues ringing) 352 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,741 I'm so sorry. Sorry. 353 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,164 Deangelo: Come on, you maggot. 354 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,166 Bye-bye, calories. 355 00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,836 (Exclaiming with effort) 356 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,088 (Fast music playing on stereo) 357 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,172 Don't stop, now. 358 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,508 No one's stopping me. 359 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,468 (Continues exclaiming) 360 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,179 All right. Hey. Okay. 361 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,849 Wow! Look at you. 362 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,600 Don't hug me. 363 00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:36,769 No! Get away, get away. 364 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:40,606 I see you've been introduced to our conference room. 365 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,442 Multi-function room, yeah. 366 00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:46,320 So I was thinking that maybe I could show you around a little bit more? 367 00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,698 You could shadow me. Still a lot to learn, so... 368 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,535 Yeah, you know, I'm feeling like I'm ready to dive in. 369 00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:55,204 Well, the water's pretty cold. A lot of octopuses out there. 370 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,456 (Chuckung) 371 00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,958 Well, I've been taught by the best octopus hunter in the biz. 372 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,169 I haven't taught you everything. There's... 373 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,504 Pretty good teacher. I feel pretty prepared. Mmm... 374 00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:05,756 You know what? No teacher in the world 375 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,675 could teach this job in one day. 376 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,528 I think you just about did. 377 00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,304 Well, I don't think I did, so why... 378 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,682 Wanna go? You'll shadow me? 379 00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,895 Let me finish getting dressed. All right. 380 00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,733 Oh, hey, Dwight. Before I forget, 381 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,319 I would love to know of any great restaurants in town 382 00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,070 if you have any thoughts. 383 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,698 I've got a list here that has pretty much every place in town. 384 00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:31,908 Oh, great. 385 00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:37,288 Just make sure you get that back to me. 386 00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:46,005 (Exhales) I'll get that, you guys. Don't... 387 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,173 No, I'll help you. Here. 388 00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:48,299 You know, it's just... 389 00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:50,009 You know... 390 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,013 Hello. Hi. Hi. 391 00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:56,724 Have we met before? 392 00:16:57,350 --> 00:17:00,102 No, not officially. I saw you coming out of the bathroom earlier. 393 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,523 Well, I guess I'm gonna go back to my cave. 394 00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,608 Okay. It was really great meeting you. 395 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:10,112 And that is what they call a meet cute. 396 00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:19,121 Hey, funny guy. I have a little midday lull here. 397 00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:21,499 Make me laugh. Huh? What do you got? 398 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,060 I can't even look at you. (Laughs) 399 00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:24,126 Here we go. 400 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,045 Okay... (Laughs) 401 00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:31,801 What do African Americans cahthe_. 402 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:35,638 (Both laughing) 403 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,267 What? 404 00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:40,560 Erin: Deangelo? Yeah? 405 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:41,644 Did you order a barber? 406 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,521 Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on back here. 407 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:46,399 Put a pin on that, okay? I can't wait to hear the punch line. 408 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:48,943 Finish the joke, Andy. 409 00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,445 What do African Americans call? 410 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,489 I don't know. Help me. 411 00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:56,951 That is so bad-ass. 412 00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,662 Just so hardcore. 413 00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,372 Yeah, very cool. 414 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:02,665 Real power move. Yeah. 415 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,087 I saw a hawk today. 416 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,381 It was just sitting right there 417 00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:13,134 on the overpass, looking at me. 418 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:17,763 Shave me. 419 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:23,561 Well, this is going to be funny. 420 00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:25,724 Because it looks like we're gonna be shaving buddies. 421 00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:29,025 Okay, all right. I love it. I love it. (Laughs) 422 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,943 Michael, this is Reggie. Hello. 423 00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:32,612 He is the number one 424 00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:34,947 yelp-reviewed shaver in Scranton. It's not even close. 425 00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:38,576 And this is Erin, and she's going to shave my face. 426 00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,036 Here we go. 427 00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:47,835 All right. 428 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,963 This is how we do it. 429 00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:52,173 Michael: Mmm. 430 00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:53,257 Feels nice, doesn't it? 431 00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:54,675 It really does. 432 00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:59,388 This is luxury. Here we go. 433 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,311 Okay. Okay. 434 00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:07,104 Oh, that is nice. 435 00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,207 You wanted to talk to us, Deangelo? 436 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,859 Oh, yes, yes, please. Cozy up there. 437 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:14,630 I just thought we could have some rap sessions with smaller groups. 438 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,948 You know, we don't really do rap sessions, we kind of do... god! 439 00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:21,160 We sort of do more of like powwows and what-ups. 440 00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:22,870 Okay, well, powwows, then. Fine. 441 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:24,205 Thats_. 442 00:19:24,747 --> 00:19:27,249 Hey, Deangelo, my mom just sent me this picture of Cece. 443 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:28,376 It is so adorable. 444 00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:30,103 All right, wait, but a little bit of back story. 445 00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:31,563 She loves dogs, she calls them dadas... 446 00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:32,672 Dadas. 447 00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:34,315 And what happens is... You know what? 448 00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:36,592 Enough about your baby, okay? 449 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:38,803 I'm sorry. 450 00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:40,572 Well, we were just... I think she was just trying to... 451 00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:43,641 No, no, no, I know what you're doing. Just quit it. 452 00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:48,187 I want to hear from the rank and file. 453 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:51,148 How can I be the best manager for you all? 454 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:52,900 You know, what can I do better? 455 00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:54,819 Okay, you know what, everybody? 456 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:57,446 There's... you have to be honest here. 457 00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:01,409 You can't say that everything is perfect, right? 458 00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:04,704 So, you know, come up with something. 459 00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:07,623 Oscar: Well, Deangelo, I'd say communication could be improved. 460 00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:10,209 People stopped reading memos. 461 00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:11,711 So everyone marks them urgent. 462 00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:14,130 Okay, you know what? I Mark it urgent ","a 463 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,507 urgent "b," urgent "c," urgent "d." 464 00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:18,467 Urgent "a" is the most important, 465 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,971 urgent "d" you don't even really have to worry about. 466 00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:24,658 Okay, Michael, can you stop talking now? I have to do your lips. 467 00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,475 Don't shave my lips. 468 00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:28,978 Deangelo: How about you, Dwight? 469 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:34,567 Uh, yeah, I'm just right by your side, so... yeah. 470 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:38,487 Personally, Deangelo, I just want to sit and see how you do things. 471 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,739 I'm really excited. 472 00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:42,616 There must be something you'd like to see, specifically, improved. 473 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:45,703 I do think that there is a web of racism and/orjealousy 474 00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:47,788 that is trying to keep me down. 475 00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:51,083 Okay. Well, this has been very helpful. 476 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,586 This is a great start. Props to you. 477 00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,713 (Groans) (Exclaims) 478 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,007 Deangelo's great. I love the guy. 479 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,343 But I'm not sure he's a good fit for the office. 480 00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:04,597 And also, I'm not sure if I love the guy. 481 00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:06,474 Did we just totally blow it? 482 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:10,728 I don't know. I mean, I get that talking about your kid can be annoying. 483 00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:13,981 You know, everybody thinks their kid is the cutest in the world. 484 00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:15,775 Cece really is. Right? 485 00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:17,359 Yeah. 486 00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,155 We just got to get her in here. 487 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:24,825 What's up? 488 00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,744 I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but... 489 00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:31,165 I wrote the perfect joke. Topical, edgy, funny. 490 00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:35,961 I saw this thing in the news. Democrats want electric cars. 491 00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:37,880 Republicans don't. Right. 492 00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,965 I'm thinking, how crazy is it 493 00:21:40,049 --> 00:21:43,928 that we got a car debate going on in a city known for gridlock. 494 00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:47,932 Um... let's not talk politics in the office, okay? 495 00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:50,585 I like you better as the funny guy. 496 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:53,687 I wasn't taking a position. It was just sort of one of those things. 497 00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:57,525 (Laughs) 498 00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:06,158 Now that's funny. That's funny. 499 00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:07,618 You walk much? 500 00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:09,787 Yeah, right? I mean... 501 00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:11,413 (Groans) 502 00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:16,293 Mmm-hmm. A little click. 503 00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:20,172 Deangelo, this box came for you. 504 00:22:20,256 --> 00:22:21,382 Great, thank you. 505 00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:24,593 That's my stuff. Yeah. (Exclaims) 506 00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:26,720 Michael, take a look at this. 507 00:22:26,804 --> 00:22:28,639 Need a hand? Oh, that'd be great. Thank you. 508 00:22:28,722 --> 00:22:30,075 Hey, you know what? This office sort of 509 00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:32,476 has a perfect fung shooey to it, and... 510 00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:36,939 You know, let's not go overboard with the redecorating. 511 00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:38,649 And I'm still here, so... wow. 512 00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:39,817 Right? Ooh. 513 00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:40,901 That's nice. 514 00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:43,279 I still have to look at this stuff, guys, so... 515 00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:45,531 Oh, man. So this is a 10-gallon hat? 516 00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:47,199 Yeah, you like that? 10-gallon hat. 517 00:22:47,283 --> 00:22:49,785 Technically, it only holds about 3 quarts. 518 00:22:49,910 --> 00:22:51,787 A little factoid. Interesting. 519 00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:54,707 No! No, I've always loved the southwest. 520 00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,876 I got a lot of this stuff at home. 521 00:22:56,959 --> 00:23:00,880 You know, turquoise and rocks. 522 00:23:01,630 --> 00:23:03,257 I need this job, man. 523 00:23:04,258 --> 00:23:06,302 I love this. I love change. 524 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:08,429 Change is good, and you know what? 525 00:23:08,512 --> 00:23:11,432 I think right now, I'm going to change this supermodel 526 00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:13,225 back into Kevin Malone. 527 00:23:13,642 --> 00:23:14,852 Oh! There he is. 528 00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:16,312 Erin: (Softly) Oh, my god! 529 00:23:18,981 --> 00:23:20,232 (Coughs) 530 00:23:21,442 --> 00:23:25,154 All right, this was just... It was just awful. 531 00:23:27,448 --> 00:23:30,242 Thank you, Michael. You're welcome. That's better. 532 00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:35,497 Cool, cool. 533 00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:37,392 All right, see you later, girl. 534 00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:38,542 Hey, hey, hey. 535 00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:41,837 No, I'm good. Keep that. 536 00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:47,509 Hey, funny man. What you got for me? Make me laugh. 537 00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:55,559 (Grunts) 538 00:23:58,062 --> 00:23:59,229 (Laughs) 539 00:24:05,361 --> 00:24:08,739 Let's see if my favorite tea is in... 540 00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:10,199 Whoa! Jeez. 541 00:24:10,532 --> 00:24:11,867 (Screams) 542 00:24:13,661 --> 00:24:14,995 (Groaning) 543 00:24:18,248 --> 00:24:19,541 (Yelling) 544 00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:21,251 (Laughing) 545 00:24:23,754 --> 00:24:25,297 (Breathing heavily) 546 00:24:25,381 --> 00:24:26,882 (Screams) 547 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:28,092 That's hot coffee. 548 00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:31,220 Drink some soap. 549 00:24:31,428 --> 00:24:32,554 (Panting) 550 00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:34,139 Eat some hand soap. 551 00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:35,766 (Laughs) 552 00:24:42,356 --> 00:24:44,066 I guess this is my life now. 553 00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:46,986 Michael: Can you believe that? 554 00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:50,861 They're all treating him like he's some sort of god. 555 00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:53,826 You know, they used to say that I was the world's best boss. 556 00:24:54,368 --> 00:24:55,953 Now you're a lame duck. 557 00:24:56,078 --> 00:24:57,746 Yeah, well, you're a retarded owl. 558 00:24:58,664 --> 00:25:00,416 And Deangelo is a fat cow. 559 00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:04,253 He has the same body type that you have. You're like body twins. 560 00:25:04,670 --> 00:25:06,797 I guess I mean just from how he used to be. 561 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,424 What do you mean? 562 00:25:08,674 --> 00:25:11,969 I have just come into the possession of a photograph 563 00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:16,682 that is very embarrassing, and just may change the way 564 00:25:16,765 --> 00:25:19,768 you perceive a certain person in this office. 565 00:25:20,060 --> 00:25:21,061 Pam: What is it? 566 00:25:21,979 --> 00:25:23,856 It's a picture of a super fat guy. 567 00:25:23,939 --> 00:25:25,274 Michael: Yes. (Snickers) 568 00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:26,692 Dwight: (Laughing) I'll say. 569 00:25:27,026 --> 00:25:28,068 It's Deangelo. 570 00:25:28,152 --> 00:25:29,319 Yes, it is. 571 00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:34,324 This is a photograph taken of Deangelo vickers. 572 00:25:34,408 --> 00:25:36,910 I just... I can't get that picture out of my head. 573 00:25:37,077 --> 00:25:41,832 Dwight: This curly-haired idiot used to be so fat. 574 00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:46,712 It really is a shame that a person's weight, or their former weight, 575 00:25:46,795 --> 00:25:49,006 makes us think less of them. 576 00:25:49,131 --> 00:25:50,299 (Exclaims indifferently) 577 00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:51,842 How do you let yourself go like that? 578 00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:52,925 Michael: I don't know. 579 00:25:52,968 --> 00:25:56,513 I know, Michael. Right? Justjog in place 10 seconds a day. 580 00:25:56,597 --> 00:25:57,723 That's all it takes. 581 00:25:57,848 --> 00:25:58,974 I know. That's... 582 00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:01,143 I didn't have 10 seconds a day. 583 00:26:02,311 --> 00:26:03,979 I was too busy eating. 584 00:26:06,273 --> 00:26:08,067 That's okay. Pass it around. 585 00:26:08,650 --> 00:26:10,962 Let everyone take a look. Creed, have you looked at it yet? 586 00:26:10,986 --> 00:26:12,404 Yes, but I'll gladly look again. 587 00:26:12,529 --> 00:26:16,658 I used to weigh 425 pounds. 588 00:26:17,326 --> 00:26:19,620 I was unhappy and unhealthy. 589 00:26:19,703 --> 00:26:21,830 Used to go to tapas restaurants 590 00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:24,166 and gorge myself on Spanish charcuterie. 591 00:26:25,209 --> 00:26:26,710 I mean, let's be honest. 592 00:26:26,835 --> 00:26:29,838 Tapas is a cuisine for groups. Not with me. 593 00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:31,632 Tapas party of one. 594 00:26:32,091 --> 00:26:35,260 Looks like you went over the tapas with food. 595 00:26:36,678 --> 00:26:39,598 One day, I had a long layover in Phoenix. 596 00:26:39,681 --> 00:26:42,160 I thought I'd do some sightseeing and my car broke down in sedona. 597 00:26:42,184 --> 00:26:45,562 I found myselfjust wandering, delirious with hunger. 598 00:26:46,063 --> 00:26:49,942 And I swear to god, I felt an energy. 599 00:26:51,401 --> 00:26:55,614 I felt stronger than I'd ever felt before, like I could do anything. 600 00:26:55,697 --> 00:26:57,658 Keep in mind, I was naked. 601 00:26:57,741 --> 00:27:00,285 But in that moment, I felt like I could change, 602 00:27:00,369 --> 00:27:04,540 and I made a promise that I would lose 202 pounds within a year. 603 00:27:04,623 --> 00:27:07,751 I just... I can't get that image out of my head, of what you used to... 604 00:27:07,835 --> 00:27:09,675 Michael, stop, please. Look like. It just... 605 00:27:09,753 --> 00:27:12,339 My friends, my new family, 606 00:27:13,048 --> 00:27:16,593 I stand here today... Guess how much weight I lost. 607 00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:18,470 Two hundred and two pounds? 608 00:27:18,887 --> 00:27:23,600 203. I beat it by one. I beat it by one. 609 00:27:24,726 --> 00:27:26,061 Beat it by one. 610 00:27:26,812 --> 00:27:30,149 And that is why I so firmly believe 611 00:27:31,859 --> 00:27:36,697 that this extraordinary group of people that I'm looking at 612 00:27:37,573 --> 00:27:39,950 has a chance, has an opportunity, 613 00:27:40,075 --> 00:27:42,452 to become the greatest office in the world. 614 00:27:43,579 --> 00:27:46,456 Because we can change anything we want. I'm living proof. 615 00:27:46,540 --> 00:27:48,083 You know what? He's right. 616 00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:53,046 If he can lose all that weight, then I can wear fake hair. 617 00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:55,674 Thank for sharing, Deangelo. Amazing. 618 00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:56,842 Thank you. 619 00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:07,561 And thank me for bringing it up. 620 00:28:09,938 --> 00:28:12,232 How do I become a manager at sabre? 621 00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:14,318 Well, first things first, 622 00:28:14,401 --> 00:28:16,278 thank you for coming to me directly, you know. 623 00:28:16,361 --> 00:28:17,881 I know you could have called Tallahassee, 624 00:28:17,905 --> 00:28:19,823 but they would have just looped back to me. 625 00:28:19,990 --> 00:28:21,342 So it's cool you recognized my role here. 626 00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:22,618 I left a message at corporate. 627 00:28:23,368 --> 00:28:24,411 There you go. 628 00:28:24,995 --> 00:28:26,330 Get a recommendation from Michael. 629 00:28:26,914 --> 00:28:28,308 That'll put you right on the short list 630 00:28:28,332 --> 00:28:29,625 for next time there's an opening. 631 00:28:29,917 --> 00:28:32,397 Can't you just use the recommendation you already have on file? 632 00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:34,171 What recommendation? 633 00:28:34,421 --> 00:28:36,298 From when he recommended me to replace him. 634 00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:38,675 (Chuckles) 635 00:28:42,095 --> 00:28:44,348 I'm sorry. I never know how to act 636 00:28:44,431 --> 00:28:46,642 in these awkward type situations. 637 00:28:47,142 --> 00:28:50,187 Best whale watching? Easily the west coast. 638 00:28:50,270 --> 00:28:51,789 If you're gonna go whale watching on the east coast, 639 00:28:51,813 --> 00:28:54,858 you might want to bring a magazine called west coast whales. 640 00:28:55,317 --> 00:28:57,197 (All laughing) Because you're not gonna see any. 641 00:28:57,277 --> 00:29:00,906 (Clears throat) Snack time! It's the witching hour. It is the sandwiching hour. 642 00:29:01,073 --> 00:29:02,074 Awesome. 643 00:29:02,157 --> 00:29:03,218 Phyllis: Hmm. What you got? 644 00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:05,077 Pb and j. My mom's recipe. 645 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,287 Michael, Deangelo has a peanut allergy. 646 00:29:07,371 --> 00:29:09,682 Okay, I need a wide berth. I need a wide berth from those nuts. 647 00:29:09,706 --> 00:29:11,768 Michael, what are you doing? Have you lost your mind? 648 00:29:11,792 --> 00:29:14,169 I think Kevin wants one. Kevin, here you go. 649 00:29:14,461 --> 00:29:15,796 (Exclaims) 650 00:29:15,879 --> 00:29:17,148 Oscar: Michael, this is serious. 651 00:29:17,172 --> 00:29:18,983 Do you know what happens if Deangelo touches a peanut? 652 00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:20,050 (Chuckles) What? 653 00:29:20,133 --> 00:29:22,302 Michael, the last time I was exposed to a peanut, 654 00:29:22,386 --> 00:29:24,596 I was itchy for three days, okay? 655 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,724 I had to take baths constantly. I missed the oj. Verdict. 656 00:29:27,808 --> 00:29:29,494 Had to read about it in the paper like an idiot. 657 00:29:29,518 --> 00:29:32,521 Wait, so you don't go into, like, shock or die or anything? 658 00:29:32,688 --> 00:29:36,358 No, Jim. Not everything's life and death. I want to feel comfortable. 659 00:29:36,608 --> 00:29:38,485 Oscar, here you go. (Smacking lips) 660 00:29:38,902 --> 00:29:40,028 Oh! Whoa! 661 00:29:40,112 --> 00:29:42,322 You're getting nut particles all in the air. 662 00:29:42,406 --> 00:29:45,867 No one had a problem with the air here until you came around. 663 00:29:54,459 --> 00:29:57,629 Everyone, mandatory meeting. Multi-purpose room, now. 664 00:29:57,713 --> 00:29:59,065 No, that's good. You just stay in there. 665 00:29:59,089 --> 00:30:00,733 Except for Michael. Stay in there by yourself, loser. 666 00:30:00,757 --> 00:30:02,801 Nobody go in. Nobody go in there. What? 667 00:30:02,884 --> 00:30:04,303 Why? Just stay where you are. 668 00:30:04,386 --> 00:30:05,637 Michael, this is insane. 669 00:30:05,721 --> 00:30:07,014 No, it's not insane, Oscar. 670 00:30:07,097 --> 00:30:09,016 I've been here for 19 years, 671 00:30:09,099 --> 00:30:10,868 and just because someone else is called the boss, 672 00:30:10,892 --> 00:30:12,412 you're gonna throw it all away? No, no. 673 00:30:17,899 --> 00:30:20,152 Listen, you're the one who decided to leave. 674 00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:22,863 Come on, he's our new boss. You know we have to do this. 675 00:30:23,030 --> 00:30:24,448 Okay. 676 00:30:26,033 --> 00:30:28,035 Well, who needs them? 677 00:30:28,118 --> 00:30:29,678 Looks like it's just you and me, Dwight. 678 00:30:30,412 --> 00:30:32,748 Correction. (Clears throat) Just you. 679 00:30:35,208 --> 00:30:38,920 All right. Meeting, multi-function room. 680 00:30:39,588 --> 00:30:41,214 Deangelo: Apology accepted. 681 00:30:42,883 --> 00:30:43,925 Hold on. 682 00:30:46,261 --> 00:30:49,389 Hey, Michael. Michael, wait up, hold up. Hold up. 683 00:30:52,934 --> 00:30:54,061 So, for these meetings, 684 00:30:54,144 --> 00:30:56,063 do you justjump into business 685 00:30:56,146 --> 00:30:58,023 or do you start with some chitchat or... 686 00:30:59,441 --> 00:31:02,903 I start with some chitchat and maybe a couple ofjokes. 687 00:31:04,279 --> 00:31:06,782 And you might want to develop a couple of characters. 688 00:31:07,115 --> 00:31:09,409 You know what? You just... you'll be fine. 689 00:31:09,618 --> 00:31:12,454 Maybe, maybe not. 50-50. 690 00:31:13,830 --> 00:31:17,209 You know, it is too bad for this place that you're leaving. 691 00:31:21,963 --> 00:31:23,924 Bring it in. Come on. 692 00:31:27,010 --> 00:31:28,470 Bring it. 693 00:31:30,305 --> 00:31:32,974 Okay. Okay. 694 00:31:39,481 --> 00:31:40,732 (Exhaling deeply) 695 00:31:44,778 --> 00:31:45,779 (Sighs) 696 00:31:46,029 --> 00:31:48,698 Why did you have to be so damn good? 697 00:31:49,074 --> 00:31:51,785 I... I'm adequate. 698 00:31:53,954 --> 00:31:55,163 I'm half as good as you. 699 00:31:55,247 --> 00:31:56,998 No, no, no. Comeon 700 00:31:57,124 --> 00:31:59,960 you are good. They know it. Come on. 701 00:32:01,044 --> 00:32:04,047 I just didn't expect you to get there so fast. 702 00:32:04,339 --> 00:32:07,634 Deangelo: Would you do me a favor and enjoy this time, okay? You've worked so hard. 703 00:32:07,717 --> 00:32:10,846 Get your senioritis on. It's lake havasu time. 704 00:32:11,304 --> 00:32:13,432 I guess I've been working so hard 705 00:32:13,515 --> 00:32:15,642 I forgot what it's like to be hardly working. 706 00:32:15,725 --> 00:32:17,060 (Chuckung) 707 00:32:20,897 --> 00:32:22,232 Okay. 708 00:32:26,194 --> 00:32:29,656 What is the native American girl's name? 709 00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:31,491 You'll figure it out. 710 00:32:41,376 --> 00:32:42,627 Deangelo: Thank you, Dwight. 711 00:32:42,711 --> 00:32:43,920 Dwight: Thank you, sir. 712 00:32:47,632 --> 00:32:48,884 Deangelo: Listen up... 713 00:32:54,389 --> 00:32:57,309 Hey, Deangelo. Want to meet Cece? 714 00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:06,651 That's a cute baby. (Both laugh) 715 00:33:06,735 --> 00:33:09,321 Very cute baby. Adorable. Very cute. 716 00:33:09,404 --> 00:33:10,739 Thank you very much. 717 00:33:11,907 --> 00:33:13,384 I'm sorry, I should get back to work, but... 718 00:33:13,408 --> 00:33:15,008 Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Absolutely, yeah. 719 00:33:15,076 --> 00:33:16,137 Thank you so much. Say, "bye-bye." 720 00:33:16,161 --> 00:33:17,412 Say, "bye." Bye! 721 00:33:17,496 --> 00:33:18,705 See? We knew it. 722 00:33:18,788 --> 00:33:20,332 If he just met her, he'd understand. 723 00:33:20,415 --> 00:33:21,917 We're back in. 724 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,418 Ha. 725 00:33:23,502 --> 00:33:24,586 Right? 726 00:33:24,669 --> 00:33:27,422 I'm telling you, that baby could be the star of a show 727 00:33:27,506 --> 00:33:30,008 called babies I don't care about.