1
00:00:01,252 --> 00:00:05,339
It is 6:00 am, and Deangelo and
I are about to go house to house

2
00:00:05,423 --> 00:00:08,050
to give everybody their
dundies nomination certificate.

3
00:00:08,134 --> 00:00:09,969
Just like the oscars. Yes.

4
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:11,596
And this happens every year?

5
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,472
Every year this happens.
Okay. Every year.

6
00:00:13,598 --> 00:00:15,725
You have a lot to learn,
my friend. (Chuckles)

7
00:00:16,726 --> 00:00:18,477
Well, you know,
why don't we try it,

8
00:00:18,561 --> 00:00:21,105
and if it goes good,
it'll be part of my tradition.

9
00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:23,816
Why are you even saying that?
You're going to love it.

10
00:00:24,609 --> 00:00:26,277
Here we go.

11
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,614
This way, this way.

12
00:00:32,325 --> 00:00:33,951
Okay. Nice house.

13
00:00:34,619 --> 00:00:36,204
Surprise! Congratulations!

14
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:41,375
You and Pam have both been
nominated for dundie awards.

15
00:00:41,626 --> 00:00:42,627
Okay.

16
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,420
(Exclaiming) Here we go.

17
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,398
Michael: Have Pam come down.
No, no, she's not here.

18
00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:47,465
Pam: What's going on?

19
00:00:47,590 --> 00:00:48,633
Stay in bed.

20
00:00:48,925 --> 00:00:50,593
Congratulations!
Stanley, we love you.

21
00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:54,680
Have you lost your mind? Get off
my property before I call the police.

22
00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:57,600
All right, we got it. Good.
Okay.

23
00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:58,744
Leave it at the door? Okay.

24
00:00:58,768 --> 00:00:59,810
Yeah, that's fine.

25
00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:07,985
Hey, Toby, you suck!

26
00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,072
Is this an employee of ours?

27
00:01:11,155 --> 00:01:12,323
(Laughing)

28
00:01:12,657 --> 00:01:14,325
Why are...
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

29
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,161
I've never seen this
place in the daylight.

30
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:19,622
This reminds me of Katrina.

31
00:01:21,165 --> 00:01:24,001
Here we go. All right.

32
00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:27,463
Got it? Are we set? Hello?

33
00:01:29,382 --> 00:01:30,424
Uh-oh. Oh.

34
00:01:30,508 --> 00:01:32,927
I'm so busted. Walk of shame.

35
00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:35,930
Do you usually leave your
door unlocked? And ajar?

36
00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:39,642
Nice. I got
a dundie nomination. Wow.

37
00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:41,269
Yes, that's right. Yes, you did.

38
00:01:41,352 --> 00:01:43,312
No big deal.
Congratulations, Meredith.

39
00:01:43,396 --> 00:01:44,772
Well, we should head out.

40
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,095
No, no, no, you've got to stay.

41
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:48,818
No, no, no, !have Vienna
sausages and I have napkins.

42
00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:50,861
Let me fix you breakfast.

43
00:01:51,821 --> 00:01:53,698
(Whispering)
I'm not going in there.

44
00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:57,994
(Whispers) Go.

45
00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:14,343
Good morning, Erin.

46
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,594
Oh, hey, didn't see you.

47
00:02:15,845 --> 00:02:17,013
Any big plans for tonight?

48
00:02:17,096 --> 00:02:18,139
I don't know.

49
00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:21,225
Maybe volunteer at the
women's shelter, go to bed.

50
00:02:21,434 --> 00:02:23,019
Or, I don't know,

51
00:02:23,436 --> 00:02:26,230
maybe I'm going to the dundies!

52
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,481
(Cheers)

53
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:30,735
You are getting
so funny. Very good.

54
00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:35,573
The dundies are my baby,
and they need to go on.

55
00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:41,329
When Larry king died, they
didn't just cancel his show.

56
00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:44,874
They got Pierce Morgan
to come in and do his show,

57
00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:48,044
and that way, Larry lives on.

58
00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:52,673
Anything can happen
at the dundies.

59
00:02:52,757 --> 00:02:53,799
(Laughing)

60
00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:56,177
They're like the golden
globes, but less mean.

61
00:02:56,344 --> 00:02:58,179
And I just want us to
all have a good time.

62
00:02:58,262 --> 00:02:59,638
Just a little
announcement, folks.

63
00:02:59,722 --> 00:03:02,183
Remember, the dundies
is a black tie affair.

64
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,018
Black tie optional.

65
00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,354
Every day is black tie optional.

66
00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:10,066
Fyi, tonight we will
be hosting at Louie volpe's.

67
00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:11,734
Nice. I love their breadsticks.

68
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:13,444
Oh, their breadsticks
are like crack.

69
00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,112
I love when
people say "like crack"

70
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:16,822
who've obviously
never done crack.

71
00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,871
Well, the breadsticks
are like what then, Ryan?

72
00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:20,927
What can I use? I don't know.
Something from your world.

73
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,536
"The breadsticks are
like scrapbooking."

74
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,848
You're right, you're right.
No, I'm a middle-class fraud.

75
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,415
Michael: Shh. Okay, okay, okay.

76
00:03:26,499 --> 00:03:29,794
Everybody's right. They're
like breadsticks on steroids.

77
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,462
Right? Yeah, that's great.

78
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,714
So, as you know,
the dundies are my legacy,

79
00:03:33,798 --> 00:03:35,549
so I'm going to need
to train a replacement.

80
00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:38,302
So this year, I have
decided to have a co-host.

81
00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:40,721
And that person is

82
00:03:40,805 --> 00:03:42,181
(mimicking drum roll)

83
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,101
Deangelo!

84
00:03:46,811 --> 00:03:49,438
Always the padawan,
never the jedi.

85
00:03:49,814 --> 00:03:53,484
Thank you, Michael.
Uh, but I will have to pass.

86
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,129
Think of it as
part of your training.

87
00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:57,571
I'm not much of a performer.

88
00:03:57,655 --> 00:03:59,281
Unless you count
singing in the shower.

89
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:02,910
Boy, okay.

90
00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:05,329
Okay, well, we'll work on it.

91
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,665
(Softly) Look,
I'm very, very bad.

92
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,208
Very bad. You are doing it.

93
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:11,836
Guys, I want you to help us
work on some banter.

94
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,838
Yes! I love banter.

95
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:14,922
Good.

96
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,174
But I hate witty banter.
Michael: Here we go.

97
00:04:18,217 --> 00:04:21,512
So, Deangelo, you and I
have a lot in common.

98
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,891
You lost 200 pounds, and I
lose my car keys every morning.

99
00:04:25,975 --> 00:04:27,017
(Laughing)

100
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:30,187
That is true. We do
share some similarities.

101
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:32,940
I know how we can fix
one of those problems.

102
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:34,316
For me, it was portion control.

103
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,235
For you, you need a keychain.

104
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,922
Maybe hang them on the...
Okay, okay, you know what?

105
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,364
I didn't actually lose my keys.

106
00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:41,800
Okay, so this did not happen.

107
00:04:41,824 --> 00:04:42,825
M'Kay.

108
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:46,036
There needs to be
what you call a "rat-tat-tat."

109
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,664
And right now,
it's all "rat" and no "tat."

110
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:49,832
Ryan, come on up here.

111
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,500
Deangelo, if you'd just...
Do you mind?

112
00:04:51,584 --> 00:04:53,502
Tap Deangelo out.
Because if I can see it.

113
00:04:53,586 --> 00:04:54,795
Just watch this. Okay.

114
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:56,964
Ryan, how are you today?

115
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,287
Why don't you ask my therapist?

116
00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,568
My mom certainly
pays her enough.

117
00:04:59,592 --> 00:05:02,011
There you go! Lovely!

118
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,472
Regis and Kelly. Nice.

119
00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:07,183
Use that as an inspiration.
Just be funny.

120
00:05:07,892 --> 00:05:10,436
Uh... you, sir.
Are we having fun tonight?

121
00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:12,406
Having a great time.
Thanks, yeah. Oh, good.

122
00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:13,957
Where were you
on September 11th?

123
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,066
No, gosh. No, no.

124
00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,128
Michael: Stop, stop.
Deangelo: This is so weird.

125
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:20,446
If I'm conducting a meeting,
good to go.

126
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:23,782
But if I think of it as a
performance, I fall apart, obviously.

127
00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:25,756
Why don't you think
of hosting the dundies

128
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,328
like you're just
running a meeting?

129
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:30,498
No, no, no, this is
the performance of your life.

130
00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:33,751
Why don't you just privately, in your
own head, think of it like a meeting?

131
00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:35,920
Jim, please, no loopholes.

132
00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:37,338
Mike, why do you have to control

133
00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:38,797
how he perceives it in his mind?

134
00:05:38,923 --> 00:05:40,925
This is my last dundies ever.

135
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:44,929
If I want mind control over
him, is that too much to ask?

136
00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:49,099
(Scatting gibberish)

137
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:51,810
Good. Good, good. Good.

138
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:53,521
Now, tell me something terrible

139
00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:54,772
thathappenedin yourchhdhood.

140
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,983
When I was very young,
my mother divorced my father

141
00:05:58,067 --> 00:06:00,277
and I had to go to court
and choose between them.

142
00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:03,197
Too personal. I don't want
to hear about that stuff.

143
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,823
Let's try this. Put this on.

144
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:10,663
I am going to turn this on and
turn the volume all the way up,

145
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:15,000
so you can't... that's right, you're
not going to be able to hear yourself.

146
00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:17,836
Read this, and it's
going to sound perfect.

147
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:21,298
(Loudly) "The dundies are all
about coming together,

148
00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:26,387
"and recognizing the
indomitability of the human spirit!"

149
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:27,972
Say it with an accent!

150
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:29,640
The dundies!

151
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:31,809
"The dundies!"
(Accented) The dundies!

152
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,352
I just don't
understand the desire

153
00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:34,937
to push sweet
potato fries on me.

154
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,063
I just want regular fries.

155
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,147
Yeah.

156
00:06:37,523 --> 00:06:38,524
Oh!

157
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,150
(Tapping on window)

158
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:42,069
Pam: Hey, Erin, everything okay?

159
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:43,797
Get away from the car,
or he's going to see you.

160
00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:45,072
Who's going to see us?

161
00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:46,477
Just get in.
Get in. Just get in.

162
00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:48,742
Jim: Get in the car?

163
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,912
Please, sorry, get in.

164
00:06:52,997 --> 00:06:54,290
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.

165
00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:55,666
What's wrong?

166
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:58,294
I eat lunch in the car now.
It's my alone time.

167
00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:01,714
It's just nice to have
some time away from Gabe.

168
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,025
Why don't you want to each
lunch with your boyfriend?

169
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:06,802
I really don't like
spending time with him.

170
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:09,589
Don't you think it's better
to tell him the truth now?

171
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:11,849
You know, rather than
waste more of his time?

172
00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:17,688
I think I'm going to go. What?

173
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,398
I think you got this. Okay.

174
00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:21,066
Okay? All right. Yeah.

175
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:22,860
Okay. Thank you, mn1 feelbefier

176
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:26,655
I'm sorry, that just
wasn't interesting to me.

177
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,492
I can't just dump him, Pam.
I'm not like you.

178
00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:31,910
I can't be mean.

179
00:07:31,994 --> 00:07:33,245
Wait, when am I...

180
00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:36,999
You just have to be
clear and firm, you know.

181
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:40,544
Just tell him you don't love
him. Just be honest with him.

182
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:45,924
Appalling.

183
00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:48,427
Eyesore.

184
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,888
Surprisingly adequate.

185
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:55,809
Okay, everyone, the festivities
commence in four seconds!

186
00:07:56,602 --> 00:07:58,771
Deangelo,
Jo's on the phone for you.

187
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:00,814
Hello?

188
00:08:00,898 --> 00:08:03,484
Deangelo, we're in
serious horse manure here.

189
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:06,070
The dundies are tonight,
and we ain't got no host.

190
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,655
Oh, no.

191
00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:09,615
Luckily, [have someone for you.

192
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,116
Billy crystal? Better.

193
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:12,493
Neil Patrick Harris?

194
00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:14,787
He's in little shop
of horrors on Broadway.

195
00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:16,705
Right. No, we
need Michael Scott,

196
00:08:16,789 --> 00:08:20,668
the best darn dundies host
both sides of the Mississippi.

197
00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:22,378
(Groans)

198
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,963
I've got to find Michael Scott.

199
00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:29,593
And then I've got to
get him to the dundies.

200
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,805
Hey, can you help me
find Michael Scott, Angela?

201
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:36,684
My boyfriend can.
He's a state senator.

202
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:37,810
Mmm-hmm.

203
00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:41,146
Oh, no, he can't help because
that title has no meaning.

204
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:44,233
Try Jim, Deangelo.
He'll be able to help.

205
00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:45,526
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

206
00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:48,862
Jim, do you know where
I can find Michael Scott?

207
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:52,741
Oh, I totally don't know
where Michael is, dude.

208
00:08:52,825 --> 00:08:54,952
Hey, you want to
listen to some records?

209
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,663
No one's listening to me.
I'm running out of time.

210
00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,958
Well, what are you
talking about?

211
00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:03,252
(Groaning loudly)

212
00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:07,131
I've fallen and I can't get up.

213
00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:09,925
Maybe I just need to
look into my heart.

214
00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:13,137
Deangelo,
where is Michael Scott?

215
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,848
I'm here. In a good way.

216
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:17,307
I've been here the whole time.

217
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:21,895
The analytical part of
me wants to examine it.

218
00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:23,814
But I know it has no content.

219
00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:26,066
Ladies and gentlemen,
please stand up

220
00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,818
for your co-host of the evening,

221
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,278
Michael Gary Scott!

222
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:37,077
Please remain standing for your
other co-host and new manager,

223
00:09:37,161 --> 00:09:42,166
Deangelo jeremetrius vickers!

224
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:51,008
Dwight: Is that part of the...

225
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:55,929
(Retching)

226
00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:57,681
Deangelo. Hey.

227
00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:01,369
Deangelo, what are you doing?
There's a live audience out there.

228
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:03,771
Just go do it by yourself,
or get Ryan.

229
00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:06,023
No, Ryan would never do it.
It's too on the radar.

230
00:10:06,148 --> 00:10:11,445
Look, look, the boss hosts
the dundies. It's sort of our perk.

231
00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:14,239
This was not part of
the job description.

232
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,407
Okay, listen to me.

233
00:10:15,491 --> 00:10:17,677
You're not doing this for me,
you're not doing this for you.

234
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,119
You're not even
doing this for them.

235
00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:21,205
What am I doing it for?

236
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,373
You're doing it for
all those kids out there

237
00:10:23,499 --> 00:10:25,209
eating off
the Louie volpe's kids menu

238
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,252
who are wondering,
"does it get better?"

239
00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:29,713
What I want you to do is,
I want you to say,

240
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,882
"it's show time."
And get out there.

241
00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:35,260
I can't. Say it.

242
00:10:35,511 --> 00:10:36,804
Stop hitting me.

243
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,222
You can do it, just say it.

244
00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:40,182
Hit me again.

245
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:41,975
Now hit me.

246
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:44,978
One, two, three...

247
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:46,122
It's show time! It's show time!

248
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,232
All right, here we go.

249
00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:55,447
Okay, okay, sorry about
the delay, everybody,

250
00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:58,826
but we were at
the dmv waiting in line.

251
00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:00,077
(Audience laughing)

252
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:03,789
Fall asleep right after sex.
Huh, guys?

253
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:05,999
Nope, go back to the script.

254
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:09,253
There are a lot of great
salesmen in this office,

255
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:13,423
but one of our great salesmen
is also a great dad,

256
00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:15,926
and a close
personal friend of mine.

257
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:19,137
Jim Halpert, best dad dundie.

258
00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:20,430
(Buzzer sounding)

259
00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:22,474
(Applauding)

260
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,103
Wow, I do not
parent for the awards,

261
00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:28,146
but I got to tell you,
it feels pretty good.

262
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:31,525
Cece, if you're watching this at
home, it's way past your bedtime.

263
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:34,611
By the way, how'd this
get televised? Thanks.

264
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:35,863
Well done.

265
00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:37,298
I don't know,
maybe being a good dad

266
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,633
is just following
your own compass.

267
00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:40,868
I don't know, I don't
know. Thank you. Okay.

268
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,223
Didn't think to mention me, huh?

269
00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:46,248
Didn't I?

270
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:49,877
Which moves us to
best mom dundie.

271
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,004
This person, well,
I guess we all sort of

272
00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:54,131
consider a mom
around the office,

273
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,507
Meredith Palmer!

274
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,551
Oh, my god!

275
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,136
Woman: Say what?

276
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:02,514
(All exclaiming)

277
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,578
I'll tell you one thing, I'm not
going to be a good mom tonight.

278
00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:08,687
Whoo!

279
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:11,982
Excuse me, can I get a photo of the
best mom and the best dad, please?

280
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:13,984
Step on up.

281
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,068
I've got to go do this.

282
00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:19,072
Let's go, big smiles, folks.
There they are.

283
00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:22,618
Year after year, I catch a lot
of flak on this particular award

284
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:26,747
because year after year, I present
this award to a guy instead of a girl.

285
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:31,168
Hottest in the office
goes to Danny cordray!

286
00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:33,754
Danny could not
be here tonight...

287
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,297
How do I feel about not winning

288
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,882
hottest in the office this year?

289
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,759
Um, I'm very relieved.

290
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:41,929
How do you judge something
like... what is his criteria, even?

291
00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:43,013
It's...

292
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:44,848
It's so subjective.

293
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:48,310
Stanley Hudson is a grump,
everybody knows that.

294
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,938
But did you know
that Stanley Hudson

295
00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:54,524
is also the face of a debilitating
disease known as diabetes?

296
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:55,943
(Buzzer sounding)

297
00:12:56,485 --> 00:13:00,072
The diabetes award
goes to Stanley Hudson!

298
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:03,200
Come on up here,
you sick bastard.

299
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:09,373
I have diabetes, too. You don't
see me making a big deal about it.

300
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:12,960
They say he's going to be
my right-hand man,

301
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:15,921
ad-lib masturbation joke. No.

302
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,548
I hate this. I hate it so much.

303
00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:23,345
Dwight schrute, please accept this
promising assistant manager dundie.

304
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,976
Thank you, thanks so much.
Um, I want to dedicate this award

305
00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:33,230
to something that, uh, we take
for granted in our daily lives,

306
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,898
and that is
the humble trash can.

307
00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:37,359
This is for you, trash can.

308
00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:43,532
(Kevin laughing)

309
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:46,159
Who gave you those crayons?

310
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:48,036
I brought them from home.

311
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:49,413
Do you have a red?

312
00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:50,747
This is a cloth tablecloth.

313
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,249
You can't color on it.

314
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:54,251
Oh, really?

315
00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:59,798
Did you know herpes affects one
out of every five sexually active adults?

316
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:02,259
Pippi longstocking,

317
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:06,096
Ronald McDonald's wife,
Ron Howard, Ron Weasley.

318
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,598
What do they all have
in common? Redheads.

319
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,434
And, Erin hannon,

320
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:15,439
come on up here to receive your
cutest redhead in the office award.

321
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:17,441
That is bull.

322
00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:23,363
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

323
00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:26,491
This is the first award I've
ever won in my entire life.

324
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:27,701
(All laughing)

325
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:31,621
People were right about the
dundies, they are magical.

326
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,417
But I don't feel it,

327
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,587
and I think that's because
I'm not with the right person.

328
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,255
Gabe...

329
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,089
Gabe: What?

330
00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:43,133
We should break up.

331
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,218
What?

332
00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:47,054
I'm not attracted to you.

333
00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:51,683
I just...
I cringe when you talk.

334
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,603
I have to be honest.

335
00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:56,229
Right, Pam?

336
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,735
Thank you for hearing me.

337
00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:05,947
Okay, well,
this is embarrassing.

338
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,076
Obviously really angry at Erin.

339
00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:12,412
Here comes that quarter-life
crisis everyone's talking about.

340
00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:16,625
All right, I'm gonna go.

341
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:18,251
(Buzzer imitating crickets)

342
00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:20,796
Let's... there you go.

343
00:15:21,505 --> 00:15:22,839
Damn, that was cold.

344
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:27,761
It is difficult to recognize the
person who will be replacing you.

345
00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:29,930
But he is a good guy,

346
00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:34,351
so the Michael Scott award
for best dundies host

347
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,353
goes to Deangelo vickers.

348
00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:37,854
(Applauding)

349
00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:40,690
(All cheering)

350
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:45,838
All: Speech, speech, speech...

351
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:46,863
Speech, speech, speech_.

352
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,534
Hold on, hold on one second.

353
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,205
Crank it.

354
00:15:57,249 --> 00:16:01,586
(Speaking loudly) I want to... I feel truly
blessed to be working with all of you.

355
00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:04,506
You know, before this
all started, funny story,

356
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:08,510
I was in the bathroom, vomiting
and vomiting in that men's room.

357
00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:10,303
Okay. That's why it
has been shut down...

358
00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:11,656
That's it.
For most of the evening.

359
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,640
This is important.
He's expressing himself.

360
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:14,933
Hosts don't get dundies. No.

361
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:17,060
This is truly special for me,

362
00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:20,355
and, anyway,
it's so much lighter.

363
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,357
Michael: Okay, we're
done. That's it. What?

364
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,650
Michael, are we... what?

365
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:24,901
We're done, we're done.

366
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:30,907
So, that is how it ends.
My last dundies ever.

367
00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:36,538
I was hoping it would be
more like godfather lll,

368
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:39,082
that wrapped up
the whole franchise

369
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:41,668
in an extremely satisfying way,

370
00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:44,963
but instead,
it is like godfather I,

371
00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:48,592
that was very confusing,

372
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:52,053
had maybe three big laughs.

373
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,097
Oh, well.

374
00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:55,223
Pam: Hey, Michael?

375
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:58,226
We were thinking maybe
we could keep this thing going.

376
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,270
What?

377
00:17:00,395 --> 00:17:01,664
I know I'm the cause
of this royal screwup,

378
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,231
but I would like to
see the show go on.

379
00:17:03,315 --> 00:17:05,275
No, don't. You're
being too hard on yourself.

380
00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:07,402
We had a very
truncated rehearsal time.

381
00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:09,362
Let's grab some
ice cream, go back

382
00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:11,239
to the office,
and finish what we started.

383
00:17:11,907 --> 00:17:13,909
So what you're saying is,
you kind of liked it?

384
00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:15,535
"I've fallen,
and I can't get up."

385
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:18,420
That Phyllis bit.
That was pretty good, right?

386
00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:20,474
I don't know that we need to
dissect it all right now, but it...

387
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:21,666
That got a big laugh. It did.

388
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,311
That actually got a big laugh.
Pretty huge laugh.

389
00:17:23,335 --> 00:17:25,003
You were laughing, right? I was.

390
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,592
Oh, you know what?
I have to go to the bathroom.

391
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:28,774
Don't worry, we're really close.

392
00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:30,776
Really, you know, I can just
run over to the gas station there.

393
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,111
We should just
wait here and not get

394
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:33,446
good seats in
the conference room?

395
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,222
That's true, we
wouldn't get seats together.

396
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,641
Okay, yeah, I'll hold it.
I'm fine.

397
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:41,436
You know, despite a couple of
hiccups, I thought that went very well.

398
00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:44,439
I thought it was the worst
dundies I've ever been to.

399
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:48,026
Man! Maybe you should have won
the kind of a bitch award.

400
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:53,156
Gladly. I'd accept that award,
because a bitch is a female dog.

401
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,409
What? What are you doing? Aah!

402
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:57,494
What... ooh!

403
00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:00,997
Please don't stop so suddenly.
Seatbelt's pressing on my bladder.

404
00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:02,475
Why are you even
wearing a seatbelt?

405
00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:03,893
You're sitting in
the backseat, baby.

406
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:04,960
What is your problem?

407
00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:07,379
I just don't see the point
of the dundies, okay?

408
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:10,131
The jokes are terrible, the venue
was bad, the fashion was boring.

409
00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:14,511
Okay, that is unfair. The
clothing was safe but tasteful.

410
00:18:14,678 --> 00:18:16,721
And next time,
why don't you pick a co-host

411
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,932
that doesn't have
microphone-a-phobia?

412
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:20,850
Look, whatever
you're going to do,

413
00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:22,769
how long is it
going to take, ballpark?

414
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:25,355
Because I just... I've got
to make a decision here.

415
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,653
He is in an all-out sprint.

416
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,406
Better than before.

417
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,199
Please, excuse me.

418
00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,618
Here... okay.

419
00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:40,704
By his own admission,
this person

420
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,872
actually tried
marijuana in college,

421
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:47,294
so the doobie doobie pothead
stoner of the year award

422
00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:49,921
goes to Andy Bernard!

423
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:52,048
Yes.

424
00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:53,300
Ohhh!

425
00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:55,528
There's a lot of
people I'd like to thank,

426
00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:58,013
but I think we all actually
want to thank you, Michael.

427
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,140
Oh! Thank you.

428
00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:03,810
I mean, we actually really all
want to thank you for everything.

429
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:09,899
Oh, my god.
Something's happening.

430
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:16,531
9,986,000 minutes

431
00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:20,577
we actually sat
down and did the math

432
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:25,790
9,986, 000 minutes

433
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:30,295
that's how many minutes
that you've worked here

434
00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:31,755
in costumes

435
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:32,839
and impressions

436
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:34,424
in meetings

437
00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:35,759
in cups of coffee

438
00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:37,052
for birthdays

439
00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,178
more meetings and...

440
00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:40,430
E-mail forwards you made us read

441
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:45,101
9,986, 000 minutes

442
00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:49,606
that's like watching
die hard 80,000 times

443
00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:51,941
you hit me with your car

444
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:54,319
you helped me get off drugs

445
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,738
I watch you when you sleep

446
00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,782
I forgive you for kissing me

447
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:02,118
remember to call

448
00:20:02,285 --> 00:20:04,204
you've got to remember to call

449
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,831
remember to call

450
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,334
love is a gift from up above

451
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,127
remember to call

452
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:14,005
text or call or e-mail or call

453
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:20,762
measure,
measure your life in love

454
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:24,599
remember to call

455
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,102
yeah, yeah, yeah

456
00:20:27,185 --> 00:20:29,187
remember to call

457
00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:32,399
yeah, yeah, you've
got to remember to call

458
00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:35,652
remember to call

459
00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:41,199
yeah, okay.

460
00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:46,538
Well, this is going to
hurt like a mother (bleep).

461
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,166
Every day, millions of Americans

462
00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:52,043
suffer from
extreme repulsiveness.

463
00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:55,672
Someone in our midst is
bringing that problem to light.

464
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,924
Toby Flenderson,
please come up here

465
00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:00,135
and accept the extreme
repulsiveness award.

466
00:21:00,218 --> 00:21:01,219
Oh, that's so mean.

467
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:02,303
No, it's fine.

468
00:21:02,554 --> 00:21:03,781
(Whispering)
It's his last dundies.

469
00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:04,931
You got to play along, man.

470
00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:07,225
Come on, Toby.

471
00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:08,518
Here he comes!

472
00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:11,521
All right, you deserved it.

473
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:15,150
I really disagree with this.
I think it's kind of hateful.

474
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:16,836
Although,
I am a little happy right now

475
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:19,154
to have a platform to talk
about the outcome of a case

476
00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:21,656
that I was recently a juror
on, the Scranton strangler.

477
00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:25,452
A man's being put to death,
I was part of the verdict,

478
00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:27,620
and I'm not so sure
he's guilty anymore.

479
00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:29,372
(Buzzer sounding)