1 00:00:01,252 --> 00:00:02,587 We could get Deangelo flowers. 2 00:00:02,837 --> 00:00:04,565 No, you can't get flowers for someone who's in a coma. 3 00:00:04,589 --> 00:00:05,923 They'll wilt before he wakes up. 4 00:00:06,299 --> 00:00:07,550 Yeah, that's true. Good point. 5 00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:11,095 All in favor of the baskets full of chocolates, Teddy bears and balloons. 6 00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:14,182 Wait, wait. All in favor of the knapsack 7 00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:16,017 filled with canned goods, chainsaw, 8 00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:19,312 gasoline and emergency radio in case he wakes up post-apocalypse. 9 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:23,482 Nope. Baskets have it. 10 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,943 So as it turns out, unless you're a young child, 11 00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:29,697 or a prison inmate, you don't need anyone supervising you. 12 00:00:30,114 --> 00:00:32,950 People just come in and do their work on their schedule. 13 00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:36,579 Imagine that. People like us allowed to sell paper. 14 00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:38,122 Unsupervised. 15 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,498 And yet, somehow it works. 16 00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:42,543 Must be because the stakes are so high. 17 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:44,629 Well, I really appreciate the offer, 18 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,797 but I'm just happy the way things are. 19 00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,717 Okay. Thank you. 20 00:00:51,135 --> 00:00:54,764 That was Jo asking me if I wanted to take over as acting manager 21 00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:56,047 while they find a replacement. 22 00:00:56,349 --> 00:00:59,060 I told her I don't wanna mess this up, right? 23 00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:00,811 There's a consensus. People are happy. 24 00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:08,694 Dwight schrute. 25 00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:12,907 Yes, I would. 26 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:15,993 Dwight: Thank you. 27 00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:20,331 Jordan, gather my things from my desk. 28 00:01:31,676 --> 00:01:32,676 Wait. 29 00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:39,100 What have you done? 30 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,605 Mose? 31 00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:47,692 You'll never guess where I am right now. 32 00:02:26,272 --> 00:02:27,732 Can't stay there all day. 33 00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,233 I'm coming. 34 00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:33,070 Do I at least get to go with you in this fantasy? 35 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,573 You'd slow me down. 36 00:02:35,865 --> 00:02:39,243 Dwight has been acting manager for three months now. 37 00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:42,913 No, a week. Just feels like three months. 38 00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:46,042 Let's see. We all have to punch into a time clock, 39 00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:48,419 which is very old, very strong, 40 00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:50,921 and has the slot about the size of a finger. 41 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:53,007 We were all given new business cards, 42 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:55,676 big enough to set us apart from the competition. 43 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,929 Which is howl learned that our titles are all now junior employee. 44 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,892 Our lunch breaks are staggered to prevent wasting time. 45 00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:06,145 Mine's at 10:30 and I find that the first hour 46 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:07,938 of the day goes by a lot quicker 47 00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:10,149 than the second seven hours. 48 00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:11,776 Stop stalling! 49 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,447 Come on. 50 00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:23,996 All: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America 51 00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:26,624 and to the republic for which it stands, 52 00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:31,128 one nation under god, indivisible, 53 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,839 with Liberty and justice for all. 54 00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:34,924 Justice for all. 55 00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,217 Amen. Dwight: Excellent. 56 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,010 Morning announcements. 57 00:03:38,094 --> 00:03:41,305 There's been a problem with some people sharing copier codes. 58 00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:45,309 Your copier code is a distinct 21-digit number that is unique to you 59 00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:47,728 and you only, okay? Don't share it. 60 00:03:47,812 --> 00:03:50,123 Jo Bennett, our ceo, will be here today for a high-level meeting 61 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:51,190 involving Gabe and myself. 62 00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:52,400 Ooh! About what? 63 00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:54,151 That's on a need-to-know basis. 64 00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:56,320 I thought I needed to know for your calendar. 65 00:03:57,196 --> 00:03:58,239 General meet and greet. 66 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:00,717 So I expect you to be on your best behavior, 67 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,327 which means none of you will be insubordinate, 68 00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:05,579 nor will you foment insurrection. 69 00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:08,249 Question. If we've already fomented insurrection, 70 00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:09,542 may we be grandfathered in? 71 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,002 Define "foment." 72 00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:13,087 You define "foment." 73 00:04:19,385 --> 00:04:21,585 Dwight: Please take note of the new color-coding system. 74 00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:25,516 Ah-ha! 75 00:04:25,558 --> 00:04:27,198 Oh, mygom what is wrong with you? Got you! 76 00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:28,269 Why are you late? 77 00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:29,413 It's none of your business, actually. 78 00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:30,688 It's very medical and personal. 79 00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,314 All right. 80 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:35,568 You stop me when I reach the diseased area. 81 00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:46,579 In fairness, Darryl did tell me thatjoke, so... 82 00:04:46,704 --> 00:04:48,789 Oh! Darryl's funny. 83 00:04:48,873 --> 00:04:50,374 Andy: I know, right? Hey, Andy? 84 00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,042 Yeah? Can I talk to you a second 85 00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:53,544 about these client memos? 86 00:04:53,878 --> 00:04:54,962 Sure. 87 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,179 Andy: What's going on? 88 00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:07,295 Are you still in love with Erin? 89 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:08,934 What? 90 00:05:09,018 --> 00:05:10,019 Because I am. 91 00:05:10,436 --> 00:05:13,606 I need to get her back. I can't be alone anymore. 92 00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:16,901 Andy, do you like being alone with me right now? 93 00:05:17,443 --> 00:05:18,861 No, this is horrifying. Gabe: No, 94 00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,822 idonthke being alone with me, either. Okay? 95 00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:23,866 I have to get Erin back. 96 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,743 Are you still gonna date her? 97 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,703 We're just friends, okay? 98 00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:29,413 Do you promise that? 99 00:05:29,914 --> 00:05:32,458 Yeah, fine, I promise. We'll never date again. 100 00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:33,876 Can we go outside now? 101 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,336 No, just give me a second. 102 00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:38,047 I don't want anyone to know I've been crying. 103 00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:48,825 Hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you think you're doing? 104 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,142 What's this? What's the fist? 105 00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:51,852 It's just a social club. 106 00:05:51,936 --> 00:05:54,331 Like the French revolution or the black panthers or communism. 107 00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:57,107 It's just a club. Guys talking. 108 00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:59,722 You expect me to believe that you're starting a rebellion? 109 00:05:59,777 --> 00:06:01,654 Nope, social club. God, I hate 110 00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:03,179 when everybody calls us a rebellion. 111 00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:10,329 Okay, you know what? I would love to join the fist. 112 00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:13,791 And we would love to have you, but not today. Unfortunately, it's a bad day, 113 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,644 what with operation overth row and everything. 114 00:06:15,668 --> 00:06:18,295 But I have noted it. 115 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,229 One. 116 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,869 Pam, I have to show you this video. 117 00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:54,748 You're gonna love it. It's beyonce falling with a fart mixed in. 118 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,216 I will never be happier than I am right now. 119 00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:06,302 I will also never be less happy. 120 00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:09,888 I will be at my current maximum happiness for the rest of my life. 121 00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:13,684 Because I am manager of the Scranton branch of dunder Mifflin. 122 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:16,854 Acting manager. 123 00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:23,861 No food now? Someone has to do something about Dwight. 124 00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:27,114 He put some snacks in the freezer for us. 125 00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:29,199 You mean the frozen mice for the piranha? 126 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,619 No, the queberry slurpy pouch. 127 00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:33,621 Hmm. He means the ice pack. 128 00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,415 2:00 should probably be okay. 129 00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:38,959 I can either take your number or... 130 00:07:39,043 --> 00:07:40,123 I'm sorry, this can't wait. 131 00:07:40,336 --> 00:07:41,354 He's just gonna call back. 132 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,380 Erin, I am in love with you. 133 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,634 I don't believe in much, okay? 134 00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:50,054 I don't believe in horoscopes. I don't believe in Christmas. 135 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,056 I sure as he” don't believe in god. 136 00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:54,558 What? 137 00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:55,869 Or maybe there's a god, I don't know. 138 00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:58,062 It's just not a guy with a long, white beard. 139 00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:03,901 Or it could be. It's possible that that is exactly what god is. 140 00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:07,905 But for all of the disbelief, I believe in us. 141 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,157 Ibeheveinlove. 142 00:08:11,075 --> 00:08:13,911 You have made me believe that for all of the hokum 143 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,412 out there... 144 00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:18,040 Do we not have voicemail? 145 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:21,043 Dwight doesn't trust robots to give us our messages. 146 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,338 Well, 147 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:25,422 it just... 148 00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,716 It messes up my rhythm, but... 149 00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:30,678 I'm taking a break from dating. 150 00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:34,223 Gabe was a great guy with so many wonderful qualities, 151 00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:36,892 but it was a challenge being touched by him. 152 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,687 Wow, you've really embraced the whole bond villain aesthetic. 153 00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:41,313 Jim, Jim, Jim. 154 00:08:41,397 --> 00:08:42,898 The gun is a beaumont Adams. 155 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:46,151 Jo collects them. I thought we could have some nice small talk about it. 156 00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:48,320 And the piranha's a rescue. 157 00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:49,780 And the desk. 158 00:08:50,114 --> 00:08:53,367 The desk is a replica of uday Hussein's desk. I saw a picture in newsweek. 159 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,595 Listen, I'm a very busy man, let's get right down to business. 160 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,204 Okay. Jo is coming later today. 161 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,665 I cannot have a subordinate trying to make me look stupid. 162 00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:02,310 Okay? I need you to promise me that you'll be on your best behavior. 163 00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:06,505 I promised other people that I'd be on my worst behavior. 164 00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:07,788 And I gave them my word, so... 165 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:09,383 Don't make me fire you. 166 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:12,511 You can't fire me. You're acting manager, not office manager, 167 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:14,012 so you have no firing powers. 168 00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:16,056 Don't make me pre-fire you. 169 00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,474 You wouldn't dare. 170 00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:20,728 Watch this. You're pre-fi red. 171 00:09:20,811 --> 00:09:23,605 And when I'm promoted, you'll be full-fired. 172 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,942 If you get promoted. 173 00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,985 And if you haven't fallen in love with me by then. 174 00:09:29,153 --> 00:09:30,154 What? 175 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,965 If I had thought that there was a real chance 176 00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:33,615 that Dwight would be permanent manager, 177 00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:35,367 I would have pre-quit. 178 00:09:35,451 --> 00:09:36,511 And you might be saying to yourself, 179 00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:37,971 "well, that's pretty premature to think." 180 00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:41,915 But I always say, "it's better to be pre-pre-pre-prepared." 181 00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:44,376 How you doing, Jordan? 182 00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:45,502 I'm good. 183 00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:47,313 Everyone here thinks that you're a joke. 184 00:09:47,546 --> 00:09:49,649 They think that you were hired because of your good looks, 185 00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:50,924 which won't last long anyway. 186 00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:53,093 As your pale skin and severe bone structure imply, 187 00:09:53,177 --> 00:09:54,553 youwlage swiftly and poorly. 188 00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:56,221 Why are you telling me this? 189 00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:59,224 Now I want you to find out what people are saying about me. 190 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:02,352 Things they don't want me to know about. 191 00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:12,946 It's a holster. 192 00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:20,704 Yep-yep, yep, yep- 193 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:24,833 looking good. 194 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:32,549 What a day. What a day. 195 00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:35,511 Dwight, are you carrying a gun? 196 00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:38,347 The holster was a gift from my great-uncle, honk. 197 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,641 I don't know. I guess he's saying that he's proud of me. 198 00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:43,477 Dwight, guns make me really uncomfortable. 199 00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:46,021 The gun is just an accessory to the holster, okay? 200 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:48,482 I can't walk around wearing an empty holster. 201 00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,317 Why do you need to wear the holster at all? 202 00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:51,586 Why do you need to keep wearing 203 00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:52,879 those booby shirts all the time? 204 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:53,904 Thank you. 205 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,823 You could put your cell phone in it instead. 206 00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:57,658 Hello. 207 00:10:58,033 --> 00:10:59,576 You could put a banana in it. 208 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,245 Why would I put a banana in my holster? 209 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:04,873 In case you weren't hungry now, but you got hungry later. 210 00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:08,126 Dwight, no gun, okay? Don't make us call Jo. 211 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:11,088 Okay, all right, fine. Everyone calm down. 212 00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,757 Someone, get me a banana. 213 00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:15,042 Sorry I freaked you guys out. 214 00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:17,302 Andy! 215 00:11:17,386 --> 00:11:18,929 Ow! God! 216 00:11:20,264 --> 00:11:21,723 It's so loud! 217 00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:25,936 My god. 218 00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:29,356 There is a hardwood floor underneath this carpeting. 219 00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:30,691 Why would they do that? 220 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:35,779 There's like this crazy ringing going on. I can't... 221 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,284 I can't find perfect c. 222 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:43,036 Okay, everyone make a list of what's lost for the insurance. 223 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,289 I lost a necklace, a ring, a painting. 224 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:46,790 Hey, what happened? 225 00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,101 Dwight went on a shooting spree 226 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:49,435 and then he shot Andy in the head. 227 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:52,796 No, no, no. All we know is that a gun fired. That's all we know. 228 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:56,049 No, that's not true. Actually, we heard a loud noise, 229 00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:59,136 later a hole was seen. No one saw the bullet leave the gun. 230 00:12:03,849 --> 00:12:05,009 Something's definitely wrong. 231 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,269 I'll look on webmd. What are your symptoms? 232 00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:09,980 Everybody, Oscar found a reason to look on webmd. 233 00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:12,441 Fuewau icantreachjo. 234 00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:13,710 She must already be on the plane. 235 00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:14,894 Okay, why are you calling Jo? 236 00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:16,129 I think I should go to the hospital. 237 00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:17,553 - I'll go with you. - Gabe: No! 238 00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:21,992 We really shouldn't be without a receptionist. Now more than ever. 239 00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:23,118 Darryl: I'll take him. 240 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,329 Thank you, Darryl. 241 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,961 What's wrong with you? 242 00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:34,922 Yeah. It's my ear. 243 00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:36,006 Okay, sorry. 244 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:40,385 I should get the accident report binder. 245 00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:43,430 I've never used the gun violence forms before. 246 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,432 Gabe: I'm gonna keep trying Jo. 247 00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:48,894 Okay, everyone, conference room! Right now! 248 00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,274 Yee-haw! 249 00:12:54,358 --> 00:12:55,525 Woo-hoo! 250 00:12:57,361 --> 00:12:59,196 Howdy, partners. 251 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,574 It's me, gun safety Dwight. 252 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,785 And I'm the rootin'-est... 253 00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:06,453 I can't do this. 254 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:08,789 Look, obviously a gun went off under my watch 255 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:10,707 and I'm launching a full investigation. 256 00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,167 We all saw you do it. 257 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,627 Really? You did? 258 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:16,310 What hand was I holding the gun in? What did Andy's tie look like? 259 00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:18,382 Navy blue, little red anchors. 260 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,025 I have no way of knowing if that's true. 261 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:22,469 I am supposed to collect eyewitness accounts. 262 00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:24,388 Who saw Dwight do this? 263 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:25,472 Dwight: Okay, really? 264 00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:27,315 Would you consider this a terrorist incident? 265 00:13:27,391 --> 00:13:28,392 I felt terrorized. 266 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:29,725 Come on. 267 00:13:29,768 --> 00:13:31,848 Oh! There's a whole other terrorism booklet for that. 268 00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:33,188 I just really, really think 269 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,666 that we should handle this internally. 270 00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:36,483 Dwight, why is it on us to protect you? 271 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:40,070 Because you guys are my best friends. And I mean that. 272 00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:42,447 Managing you for this last week 273 00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:44,700 has been the greatest honor of my life. 274 00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:48,286 And if you ruin this, I will burn this office to the ground. 275 00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:51,665 And I mean that figuratively, not literally. 276 00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:55,043 Because you guys are so, so important to me. 277 00:13:55,419 --> 00:13:56,586 I love you guys, 278 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,756 but don't cross me, but you're the best. 279 00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:02,759 Andy: Hey. 280 00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:04,594 We're back. 281 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,014 There he is, our hero. 282 00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:08,557 You look fantastic. How you doing? 283 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,159 Dwight: Here, tell us your war stories. 284 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,935 Well, I burst my ear drum. 285 00:14:13,729 --> 00:14:15,647 Doctor said it could take weeks to heal. 286 00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:16,958 Did they say what caused it? 287 00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:19,462 'Cause I know you like putting q-tips deep into your ear canal. 288 00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,778 Yeah. How's your hearing? 289 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:24,531 Temporary deafness in one ear. It was both ears. 290 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:25,967 I couldn't hear a thing Darryl was saying 291 00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:27,271 when we were in the waiting room. 292 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,911 I was talking like this... 293 00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:33,790 I don't feel good about it, 294 00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,709 but he just kept calling himself 295 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,794 a gunshot victim, and it got to me. 296 00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:39,963 Dwight, I would like tomorrow off so that 297 00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,757 I can go on my American idol audition. 298 00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:43,425 American idol? What? No. 299 00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:45,427 Okay, I guess I can just not go. 300 00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:46,750 Do you guys wanna hear my solo? 301 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:51,641 J“ why did my temporary boss go on a shooting spree? J“ 302 00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,578 okay, fine, you can go on your singing audition. 303 00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:55,812 Okay, well, then I want an extra vacation day. 304 00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:58,231 Pet day. I want pet day back, no dogs. 305 00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:01,151 Put back everything in the vending machine, except the fruit. 306 00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:02,795 I put everything back in the vending machine. 307 00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:06,740 Put everything back in the vending machine, except the fruit. 308 00:15:07,324 --> 00:15:09,326 You have to get rid of all your weapons. 309 00:15:09,493 --> 00:15:11,495 All of them, including killer fish. 310 00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:13,497 Okay. 311 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,668 Is it my turn? Oof. I'm on the spot, I don't know. 312 00:15:18,794 --> 00:15:20,921 Um. You know what? I think I'm good. 313 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,298 Thank god. No. When Jo's here, 314 00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:24,883 can you work in "shagadelic, baby" 315 00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:26,760 at least three times in the conversation? Oh! 316 00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,720 And when I cough, can you do jazz hands? 317 00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:30,722 What's jazz hands? 318 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:33,767 Fine. 319 00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:50,742 What the Is that? 320 00:15:51,535 --> 00:15:52,869 Oh, my... 321 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,289 Jo: Hey, all! 322 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:59,209 Cornelius, bobo, have at it. 323 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,669 Nobody let my dogs hump each other. 324 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,394 They don't seem to know they're brothers. 325 00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:04,131 Hello, Jo. Welcome. 326 00:16:04,256 --> 00:16:05,382 Shall we begin? 327 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,800 Slow yourself down there. 328 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,928 Just like a man, wants to jump right into it while I still got my socks on. 329 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,473 Jim Halpert, the only man to ever turn me down. 330 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,892 I don't know about that. Just wasn't for me. 331 00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:20,272 But let me assure you, Dwight is firing on all cylinders, right? 332 00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,440 Well, they're some pretty big shoes to fill. 333 00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:24,234 I was sorry to hear about Deangelo. 334 00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:26,111 He was a good man. It was tragic. 335 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:32,242 Well, what can you do? Life. 336 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:35,370 Andy: We have to clean this up, now. 337 00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:36,538 She had so much... 338 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,206 Hey, guys. Hey. 339 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,025 Hope I'm not interrupting anything. 340 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:45,231 Hey, Andy, did you tell Erin about our conversation earlier 341 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:47,335 when you said you would never want to date her again? 342 00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:56,490 I just thought that it was so interesting that you promised that. 343 00:16:57,309 --> 00:16:59,436 Did I say that earlier? 344 00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,771 Yes, I did. 345 00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:05,317 Because you, Gabe, were crying. 346 00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:07,319 No, I was not. 347 00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:09,196 And sobbing uncontrollably. Yes. Uh-huh. 348 00:17:09,321 --> 00:17:12,699 You were in hysterics and my maternal instincts kicked in. 349 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,368 Is it actually how I feel? 350 00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:19,789 Yes. 351 00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:22,167 Or no. 352 00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:26,379 That is between me and my diary. 353 00:17:34,930 --> 00:17:36,741 Oscar, can you print out last year's sales statements? 354 00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:38,391 Sure. Hey, Dwight, 355 00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:40,352 give me a back massage. No, Kevin. Come on. 356 00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:42,771 My back is sore, Dwight. Massage it. 357 00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:44,105 Kevin, not now. 358 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,066 Hey, Jo... okay, okay. 359 00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:49,736 No, under the jacket. 360 00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:52,197 You're kidding me. 361 00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:55,242 Oh, god, what am I touching? It's moist. 362 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,077 Kevin: I don't feel anything. 363 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,245 Dwight: It's wet. 364 00:17:58,745 --> 00:17:59,829 Push harder, Dwight. 365 00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:01,081 I can't. 366 00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:02,791 I can't push harder. 367 00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:04,251 Go a little higher. 368 00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:06,878 There. 369 00:18:06,962 --> 00:18:07,962 There you go. No, higher. 370 00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:09,464 I can't... 371 00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:10,590 Higher. 372 00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:13,635 Oh, my god. There we go. 373 00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:15,387 How's that? Kneadit 374 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:16,596 knead it like a pizza. 375 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:17,681 I'm kneading it. 376 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,516 Kevin: But don't eat it. 377 00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,309 Okay. 378 00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,687 Dwight, walk me out. 379 00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:29,526 Let's talk soon. And stay on top of these people. 380 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:30,902 You've got to admit it, 381 00:18:30,986 --> 00:18:33,196 it's nice to have a little power, eh? How's it feel? 382 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,372 I accidentally fired a gun in the office today. 383 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,957 What? I am telling you this 384 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,709 because I care too much about this job 385 00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:47,460 to be blackmailed into doing it poorly. 386 00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:50,672 All I've ever wanted is to be manager here. 387 00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:52,799 And if you feel like you cannot promote me 388 00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:55,468 over this one accident, I understand. 389 00:18:55,677 --> 00:18:57,357 But if you think that extortion is worse... 390 00:18:57,429 --> 00:19:00,807 Shooting is worse. Are you kidding me? 391 00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:05,020 It's not even in the same... you shot a gun? What is wrong with you? 392 00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:06,688 It was a beaumont Adams, if that helps. 393 00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:08,064 Beaumont Adams is a girl's gun. 394 00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,469 That just makes it plain stupid. 395 00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:10,775 I take full responsibility. 396 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,277 Who else would be responsible? 397 00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:15,196 Pam made me put a banana in my holster. 398 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,656 You shot a gun off. 399 00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:18,158 Okay, did I make a mistake? 400 00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:19,409 Yes. 401 00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:22,245 Do I regret the decision that I made? Yes. 402 00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:26,041 Stop asking yourself easy questions so you can look like a genius. 403 00:19:26,249 --> 00:19:27,249 Got it. 404 00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:28,293 I love you, Dwight. 405 00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,920 But you don't fit this job. 406 00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:33,757 Jo, please. 407 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,675 No. No, child. I will... 408 00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:38,803 It's over. 409 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,766 Now I've got to find a replacement for my replacement. 410 00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:55,528 You three are my search committee. 411 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,448 You're in charge of finding me my next manager. 412 00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,825 All right-y? Yeah. 413 00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:04,037 Till then, we need a new acting manager. 414 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,373 Now who's got the most experience in this office? 415 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:09,876 Uh, well... 416 00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:12,295 We probably don't wanna go just on seniority. 417 00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:13,880 Who is it? 418 00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:21,346 Hey, Dwight? What's up? 419 00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:22,972 Shut up. 420 00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:24,057 Okay. Well... 421 00:20:24,474 --> 00:20:27,227 You do know that Jo was right to take the job away from you, right? 422 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,062 There's no debating that. 423 00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,982 But I will say, in your one week, 424 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:34,906 every single one of the orders went out on time 425 00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:38,863 and I think that is shagadelic, baby. 426 00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,383 Foun 427 00:20:58,466 --> 00:20:59,551 One, 428 00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:00,802 seven, 429 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:02,262 one. Another one? 430 00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:03,346 Yes! 431 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:04,514 Seven_. 432 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:05,991 Could you turn the volume down on the beeping? 433 00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:07,350 Six, nine. 434 00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:08,852 Shut up, Oscar. Eight. 435 00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:10,311 Nine first, put the nine. Nine. 436 00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:12,105 Eight. Five. 437 00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:13,188 Thank you. 438 00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:14,482 Three, 439 00:21:14,566 --> 00:21:15,859 zero, 440 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:18,486 zero, again. Zero. 441 00:21:18,570 --> 00:21:19,612 Okay. 442 00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:21,030 Foun 443 00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:22,365 six. Nice. 444 00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:23,533 Two, one. 445 00:21:23,658 --> 00:21:24,802 I hit three, I hit three instead. 446 00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:25,827 God!