1 00:00:02,752 --> 00:00:04,045 Oh, for god's sake. 2 00:00:07,048 --> 00:00:09,175 Planking is a very stupid and dangerous trend. 3 00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,386 Basically you lie like a plank in weird places. 4 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:13,138 That's it. 5 00:00:13,221 --> 00:00:14,764 Sometimes you get run over. 6 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:16,683 Welcome to the Internet. 7 00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:19,561 Planking is one of those things where, 8 00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:22,230 hey, you either get it or you don't. 9 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:26,401 And I don't. But I am so excited to be a part of it. 10 00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:30,822 After you, my good sir. 11 00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:31,906 No, I insist. 12 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,700 Jim: The search committee finally decided, 13 00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:35,493 after a lot of deliberation, 14 00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:38,913 on Robert California for the manager position. 15 00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:42,917 Who took one look around and left. 16 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:47,797 He drove down to Florida and convinced Jo to make him c.E.O. 17 00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:53,094 C.e.o. Her own job. 18 00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:55,083 He talked her out of her own job 19 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,973 and I don't really know how someone does that, 20 00:00:57,098 --> 00:01:00,268 but anyway, then the position was his to fill, 21 00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:02,520 and he chose... 22 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,195 It's unbelievable. 23 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:13,031 Andy: True. Imay have been the second choice, 24 00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:15,325 but I was the first choice's first choice. 25 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:16,701 And about Dwight, 26 00:01:16,784 --> 00:01:19,704 I sense that he might have some resentment about not getting the job, 27 00:01:19,787 --> 00:01:21,187 so I sat him down and we had a talk. 28 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:24,042 And I told him, "I need a really strong number two. 29 00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:25,376 "I want you to be my enforcer." 30 00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:27,504 Smart, right? Very smart. 31 00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:31,633 This has got to stop. 32 00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:32,884 I can't get down. 33 00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:34,802 Hey! Kevin! 34 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:39,891 Yeah, at first I was really disappointed. 35 00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:42,769 But I've got a great daily routine going right now. 36 00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:44,562 I've upped my karate to eight times a week. 37 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,689 I've added boxing at lunches and on weekends, 38 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,859 I do kick-boxing three times a week, krav maga four times a week, 39 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:52,362 an hour of meditation every morning at sunrise, 40 00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:53,988 and again at sunset. 41 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:56,991 So yeah. I'm doing great. 42 00:01:57,825 --> 00:01:59,202 I'm going to need some help. Pam? 43 00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:00,870 I don't think I should. 44 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,749 Oh, yeah. Pregnant. 45 00:02:04,832 --> 00:02:06,751 Right here. Little Michael Scott. 46 00:02:06,834 --> 00:02:09,128 Nope. I told you I don't like that joke. 47 00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:10,922 It is a boy. We found out early. 48 00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:13,633 Much different the second time around. 49 00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:15,760 And I have to say it is nice not being 50 00:02:15,843 --> 00:02:17,554 the only pregnant woman in the office. 51 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:22,433 Look, it's "little pregs" and "big pregs." 52 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,495 Wait, when did we start calling each other... 53 00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:27,105 Isn't it amazing the difference in our sizes? 54 00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:28,940 Well, I am a few months ahead of you. 55 00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:31,693 I'm having a child with my husband, the senator. 56 00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:36,364 And Pam is having a child with Jim. The great salesman. 57 00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,032 Hoist him aloft! 58 00:02:38,866 --> 00:02:40,702 Come on, Darryl, lift. Lift, Darryl. 59 00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:42,078 Come on, man. 60 00:02:42,161 --> 00:02:45,582 Yeah, I wanted the managerjob, but I got something much better. 61 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,168 This soda. 62 00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,337 This is mine. 63 00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:56,217 It might be easier if you take a deep breath, lift from the knees, 64 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,844 and shove it up your butt. 65 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,366 I came up with a new thing this summer. 66 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,891 I act like I'm telling someone how to do something. 67 00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:07,312 I go on with a long description and then I say... 68 00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:09,105 And shove it up your butt. 69 00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:14,402 It's stupid, but it's my thing now. 70 00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:16,779 No one should be planking at all. 71 00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,406 Thank you. Yes. 72 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:22,493 Dwight, my enforcer, my number two, can you take care of this? 73 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:23,786 Say no more. 74 00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:37,925 Kids, don't try planking, it's dangerous. 75 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,262 Especially with me around. 76 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:13,897 Are you watching that commercial again? 77 00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:18,970 Why do you keep watching it if you know it's just going to make you cry? 78 00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:21,886 Because everything makes me cry, so what's the difference? 79 00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:26,808 This dog, he just wants to protect his bone. 80 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:28,893 He's got a bank vault. That's a start. 81 00:04:28,976 --> 00:04:29,976 Not enough, though. 82 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:31,020 All right. 83 00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:39,737 The new ceo. Works out of the conference room about half the time, 84 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:43,991 but whenever he takes a break, he does these weird walks around the office. 85 00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,261 And you never know who he's going to zero in on 86 00:04:46,285 --> 00:04:48,454 for these really intense small talks. 87 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,832 You just hope it's not you. 88 00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:55,294 And yet you hope it is you, too. It's strange. 89 00:05:02,009 --> 00:05:03,678 Here we go. Hello. 90 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:06,848 Robert California. Let's have a conversation. 91 00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:08,766 Describe your day so far. 92 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,560 Well, I woke up and... 93 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,979 When you recount yourday, neversay you woke up. 94 00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,272 It's a waste of your time. 95 00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:17,358 That's how every day has begun for everyone since the dawn of man. 96 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,777 Very smart. Very smart. 97 00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:25,032 Suddenly, I was awake and I... 98 00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:30,747 Hey, robefl. We have that 9:30 am. Casual chit chat scheduled. 99 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:34,333 I emailed you about it last night to confirm. And again this morning. 100 00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,419 First item on the agenda, can I get everyone 101 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,463 an extra long Columbus day weekend? 102 00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:40,882 Item number two, connect with the guy. 103 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:44,260 Robert California, what does he think of me? 104 00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:45,720 Don't know. Super care. 105 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,515 Number three, time permitting, we lost our biggest client. 106 00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:04,864 Pam. Pam. Psst! Pam. 107 00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:21,130 Jim. 108 00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:34,393 Can I call you right back? Thank you very much. 109 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:36,729 Okay. 110 00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:41,192 What is this? 111 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,364 The Friday before Columbus day, thoughts? 112 00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:47,573 What are your thoughts? 113 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:48,991 Just making chit-chat. 114 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:53,329 Kind of a medium year for women's soccer, no? 115 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:57,500 What are you looking at? 116 00:06:58,292 --> 00:06:59,669 It's nothing. 117 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,879 It can't be nothing. Yeah, it can't be nothing. 118 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:04,590 It's just a list of our names split into two columns. 119 00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,133 What? 120 00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,803 Okay, just wait one second, all right? I will copy it. 121 00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:11,138 Do you have a pen? No. 122 00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:15,268 Okay. Um, I'll take a photo of it. 123 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,880 Dwight, can you throw me my phone? 124 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,149 Nice catch. 125 00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:24,318 If he comes out, distract him. 126 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,404 We need a warning signal. 127 00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:28,197 We don't need a warning signal, Kevin. 128 00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:29,466 We can see him right there. Kevin: We do. 129 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:30,551 I promise you we don't need a... 130 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:33,744 Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! 131 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,580 Jim: Phyllis! Phyllis! 132 00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:38,875 Dwight: You okay? 133 00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:42,670 Dwight: You okay? Yeah. Yeah. 134 00:07:42,753 --> 00:07:44,171 Dwight: One, two, three. 135 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:45,298 Phyllis: Thanks, guys. 136 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:52,054 Okay. Which side of the list am I on? 137 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,181 Yes! Left. 138 00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:56,517 Why are you... how do you know? 139 00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,896 Really great list of names, guys. 140 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,315 Thank you so much. Good work. 141 00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:05,109 No, actually, that was in Robert's notebook. 142 00:08:05,192 --> 00:08:07,194 He left it at reception and we photocopied it. 143 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:08,613 Oh! 144 00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:11,657 Okay. I don't want any part of this. 145 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:14,118 Maybe it's the list of people he's going to fire. 146 00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:16,621 Okay. It's not that, Pam. 147 00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:18,956 You know, I was thinking it reminds me 148 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,499 of those lists Dwight used to make. 149 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,376 This is if we were all on a cruise ship 150 00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,211 and had to divide into life boats. 151 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,857 And this is if we were on a cruise ship 152 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,673 and had to divide into life rafts. 153 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:32,219 Here's something. "Who would eat who in an alive situation?" 154 00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:37,642 No. That can't be it. 155 00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:38,725 Andy: I gotta say, 156 00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,771 it kind of seems like the left side is the side to be on. 157 00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:44,815 Me, Jim, Dwight, Darryl, no offense, Pam. 158 00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,567 I don't think... excuse me? 159 00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,611 Shh. Pam, come on. Don't be such a right-sider. 160 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:52,740 Did you guys figure it out? We couldn't crack it. 161 00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:55,409 Go in there, just ask the man what it means. 162 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:59,705 He'll know that we looked at his private notebook. 163 00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:02,249 Come on. Just say you saw the list by accident. 164 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,693 I'm already working on this Columbus day thing for you guys. 165 00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:07,171 And it's starting to stack up. 166 00:09:07,254 --> 00:09:08,854 It feels like a lot. One thing at a time. 167 00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,884 Yeah, that's all you had to do today is ask about Columbus day? 168 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:19,350 Yes. For god's sake, Andy, yes. Come in. 169 00:09:22,269 --> 00:09:23,896 What's up? 170 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:26,399 Weird thing. Totally awkward. 171 00:09:27,274 --> 00:09:30,027 But you left your notebook on the reception desk. 172 00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,153 Great. Thank you. 173 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,906 And it was open, 174 00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,076 and people saw this, 175 00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:39,120 and they're just kind of going nuts and, hke_. 176 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,204 What is this? 177 00:09:40,287 --> 00:09:41,287 Wondering what it is. 178 00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,374 It's a photocopy from your notebook. 179 00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:47,086 You read my notebook? And photocopied it and distributed it? 180 00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:53,592 No. They did. And they asked me to ask you about it. 181 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,636 Please. 182 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,017 Here's what it is, it's a doodle. 183 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:02,560 What? 184 00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:05,980 Some people doodle at work when they let their mind run. 185 00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,606 They draw houses, penises, 186 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:10,693 funny how the houses are always colonials 187 00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,486 and the penises are always circumcised. 188 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,530 Don't you think? 189 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:19,160 Well, I doodle too but I'm not an artist so I draw words and lists. 190 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:23,664 That is fascinating. 191 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,875 And by the way, I am so glad I asked. 192 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,544 People were just sort of... Did you just move my name? 193 00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:31,422 Might as well have been sketching a cube. 194 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,013 Okay, Robert's in the annex, everybody think quick. 195 00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:40,490 What do these groups have in common? 196 00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:42,492 Maybe we're supposed to do it with people in our group. 197 00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:43,809 That's not it. 198 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,061 People in the other group. 199 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,479 Mmm. Still wrong. 200 00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:49,315 Stanley, you do puzzles all day. What do we got? 201 00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:51,609 Well, you take the first letter from each name, 202 00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:54,070 assign it a number, add them all up, 203 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,821 and shove it up your butt. 204 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,282 Thank you, a little much needed comic relief. 205 00:10:58,365 --> 00:11:00,659 But we really need to figure this out, guys. 206 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,078 I know. 207 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:04,497 It's alphabetical. 208 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,416 Andy: No, it's not. 209 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,501 Here's how we find out. 210 00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:10,252 Let's line up and compare the lines, 211 00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,587 see if we learn anything, okay? 212 00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:14,048 Left-siders over here, right-siders line up over here, 213 00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:15,132 face each other. 214 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,635 Match up by height and relative weight. 215 00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:21,097 Let's just size each other up here. 216 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:23,682 And left side of the list, 217 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,726 afiack! 218 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,895 Wait, wait, wait, stop, stop! 219 00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:29,563 Jim: Will you stop? 220 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:31,816 Dwight! 221 00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,067 Don't do it! 222 00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:34,902 What are you doing? Stop! 223 00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:38,072 Warning! Warning! Warning! 224 00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:47,957 I'd like to invite the following people to join me for lunch. 225 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,459 Jim, Dwight, 226 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,212 Angela, Darryl, 227 00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:57,758 Kevin, Toby, Phyllis, Oscar. 228 00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:02,388 That's great. Let's do this, guys. 229 00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:07,226 All right. Well, I will see you in a bit. 230 00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:08,519 I love you so much. 231 00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:12,189 Hey, it's nothing, all right? 232 00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:13,750 I'll text you when we get there. 233 00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:15,734 I'll let you know what's going on. Okay. 234 00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,611 No. No dog video. 235 00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:19,113 Okay. Okay. 236 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:20,948 See you, guys. 237 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,328 Well, we should all be really excited about 238 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:30,166 our very own pizza party. 239 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:35,212 Pizza party! Pizza party. Pizza party. 240 00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:38,507 Jim, your daughter Cecelia, what does she think of the street? 241 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,092 The street? 242 00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,302 Sesame street. 243 00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:43,387 Oh. I didn't know anybody called it... 244 00:12:43,470 --> 00:12:44,722 She likes it a lot. 245 00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:46,348 She loves elmo. 246 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,726 Elmo, god save us, the elmo era. 247 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:49,810 Right? 248 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,562 Sesame street was created to reflect 249 00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:53,365 the environment of the children watching it. 250 00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:55,941 Complete self absorption of elmo 251 00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:57,943 is brilliantly reflective of our time. 252 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,113 Ours is a cultural ghetto. Wouldn't you agree? 253 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:04,700 Yeah. She does like elmo. 254 00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:07,953 Cultural ghetto? Totally agree. 255 00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,121 Completely. 256 00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,665 Apt. Apt analysis, Robert. 257 00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:15,502 The thing that I like about elmo is the tickling. 258 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:20,591 I should not be here. I don't know. I was in the wrong... 259 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,344 I'm... I'm sorry. 260 00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:26,305 Just picture me back there. I was never here. 261 00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:32,519 Great group. Pizza party. 262 00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:33,726 How is this a pizza party? 263 00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:35,040 Well, why don't you ask me again 264 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,264 when the five pizzas get here? 265 00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,459 Yeah, well, that's just pizza. 266 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,669 You need at least one other element for it to be a party. 267 00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:41,493 Okay. Have you guys ever had margherita pizza? 268 00:13:41,528 --> 00:13:42,529 What's that? 269 00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:46,700 Fresh tomato with a dollop of mozzarella cheese. 270 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:47,952 That's pizza. 271 00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,912 That's regular pizza. 272 00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,623 You know, I feel comfortable enough now to ask you this question, 273 00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:55,292 what made you pick this group? 274 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,211 I just think you guys are winners 275 00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:58,521 and I wanted to have lunch with you. 276 00:13:58,545 --> 00:13:59,630 Okay. 277 00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:03,008 What about the other guys? 278 00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,636 Losers? Come on. Oh, I don't know. 279 00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,137 Come on. Come on. 280 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,889 I guess I think they're losers. 281 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:11,392 I knew it. 282 00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:12,476 Yes! 283 00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:14,019 Probably shouldn't have said that. 284 00:14:14,561 --> 00:14:15,646 Dwight: Whoo-hoo! 285 00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:18,774 Ah-ha! Their interpretation of margherita pizza. 286 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,735 Fans of classic pizza will be psyched. 287 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,614 A text from Jim. 288 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,409 "This is getting very weird. Will explain later." 289 00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:34,290 Text from Kevin. 290 00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:35,499 "Suck it, losers." 291 00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:42,798 Ryan: Okay, not to point out the glaringly obvious, 292 00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:45,217 but doesn't the fact that I'm in this group 293 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,594 make anyone feel just a little bit better? 294 00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:50,514 Oh, this crust is sharp! 295 00:14:50,597 --> 00:14:55,269 I used to be young and cute and sort of funny 296 00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:58,188 and I could do those cute little cartoons 297 00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:01,775 and everyone who came through here was like, 298 00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,944 "who's that receptionist? I like her." 299 00:15:04,611 --> 00:15:06,488 Now I'm just a fat mom. 300 00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:10,993 Yeah, and you take one look at me and you're like, "oh, loser." 301 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,619 Andy: Come here, Pam. 302 00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:15,205 Chins up, okay? 303 00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,791 Bad joke. 304 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:20,502 Look around this room. 305 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,130 Does this look like a group of losers? Seriously. 306 00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:31,722 Oh, god. 307 00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:36,727 Kelly: Oh, hey, guys, we had so much fun. 308 00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,145 We had margherita pizza. 309 00:15:38,228 --> 00:15:39,956 We all hung out and got to know each other better. 310 00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:40,980 How was your lunch? 311 00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:42,941 It was excellent. Good times. 312 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,193 Yeah? Yeah. 313 00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,195 Oh, we did. It was the best time. 314 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:49,907 And you know what? Now it's over, back to work, everyone. 315 00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:51,992 You too, Andy. 316 00:15:52,659 --> 00:15:53,659 Kevin: / knew it. 317 00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:57,748 I just knew my whole life that everyone was wrong about me. 318 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:03,253 My parents, my teachers, my friends, the doctors, everyone. 319 00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:06,173 Well, that was certainly an odd lunch. 320 00:16:10,677 --> 00:16:11,678 Is everything all right? 321 00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:13,972 Yeah, I'm fine. 322 00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:20,813 Just take the casserole out of the... 323 00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:21,939 Loser 324 00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:24,274 take it out of the refrigerator, put it in the oven. 325 00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:27,027 It'll be fine. Just leave it in for 20 minutes. 326 00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:29,279 Kevin: Loser. 327 00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:30,715 When I was a salesman, I could just be like, 328 00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:34,618 "not my job, not my prob. I'm going to the warehouse to Polish my knob." 329 00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,037 Metaphorically, of course. 330 00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:41,208 But now, it is my job and my prob. 331 00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,043 Hi, Robert. 332 00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:46,880 Can you come out here, please? It's really important. 333 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,303 I just wanted to clarify something. 334 00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:57,683 Some people here are under the misconception 335 00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:02,146 that some people may be considered, 336 00:17:02,729 --> 00:17:04,273 let's say top tier, 337 00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:07,109 and others would be second tier. 338 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,485 I never said that. 339 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,320 Thank you. Great. 340 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:13,073 I said winners and losers. Is that what you're talking about? 341 00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:17,828 Oh, that might... that actually might be what I'm thinking of. 342 00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:19,580 Can you clarify that? 343 00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:22,082 Let me tell you some things I find productive. 344 00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:25,919 Positive reinforcement, 345 00:17:26,753 --> 00:17:28,255 negative reinforcement. 346 00:17:28,755 --> 00:17:29,882 Honesty. 347 00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:32,843 I'll tell you some things I find unproductive. 348 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:36,305 Constantly worrying about where you stand 349 00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,515 based on inscrutable social clues, 350 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:42,144 and then inevitably reframing it all in a reassuring way 351 00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:43,707 so that you can get to sleep at night. 352 00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:46,565 No, I do not believe in that at all. 353 00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:49,610 If I invited you to lunch, I think you're a winner. 354 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,069 If I didn't, I don't. 355 00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,905 But I just met you all. 356 00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:55,365 Lweislong, opinions change. 357 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:59,745 Winners, prove me right. Losers, prove me wrong. 358 00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,421 Well, I guess that's that. 359 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,510 No. No. 360 00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:18,262 Andy, don't go in there. 361 00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:19,848 I'm going in there. 362 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:29,107 I know that every time I talk to you things just seem to get worse. 363 00:18:29,816 --> 00:18:32,736 But you don't know these people, and I do. 364 00:18:32,819 --> 00:18:35,489 And if I let you work with faulty information, 365 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,991 well, then I'm not doing my job as regional manager. 366 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:42,996 So, please take this pen and change your list. 367 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,957 I'm not going to change my list, Andy. 368 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,917 And I don't use ballpoint pens. 369 00:18:48,835 --> 00:18:51,505 Well, then I will make a new list for you. 370 00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:59,763 Stanley, you may think he's a lazy grump, 371 00:18:59,846 --> 00:19:02,683 but did you know that he has the most consistently high sales numbers 372 00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:04,101 of anyone in this office? 373 00:19:04,851 --> 00:19:06,162 And you may think he's hard to love, 374 00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:07,771 but did you know that he's in not one, 375 00:19:07,854 --> 00:19:10,023 but two long-term romantic relationships? 376 00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:13,360 I did not know about the sales figures. 377 00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:15,654 Meredith Palmer, supplier relations. 378 00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:18,782 The word "no," not even in her vocabulary. 379 00:19:18,865 --> 00:19:20,218 And just to show you that I'm being fair, 380 00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:21,511 you had Gabe in the loser column, 381 00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:24,538 I think that is astute. 382 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,373 Good call. 383 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:27,958 Pam, 384 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:33,880 easily the most creative and kind person I have ever worked with. 385 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,966 Jim, shut the door. This is just gross. 386 00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:37,050 Shh. 387 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:40,554 Erin hannon, the receptionist, and my closest confidant. 388 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,639 A winner if there ever was one. 389 00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,349 I like my new group. 390 00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,729 I liked my old group. 391 00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:49,855 Are we done? 392 00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:50,939 Yes. 393 00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:54,026 The Friday before Columbus day, 394 00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:55,569 we're going to take a half-day. 395 00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,630 So that everyone can get a jump on the long weekend. 396 00:19:57,654 --> 00:20:00,574 You want a three-and-a-half day weekend for Columbus day? 397 00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:02,701 Yes, I do. 398 00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:05,829 And you are aware that Columbus and his legions 399 00:20:05,912 --> 00:20:09,583 committed genocide against an entire civilization of native Americans? 400 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,919 I don't care. 401 00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:23,764 Hey, guys, 402 00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:28,018 so Columbus day, we got that half-day on Friday. 403 00:20:28,101 --> 00:20:29,811 We get that every year. 404 00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:32,272 Well, you got it this year, too. 405 00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:36,401 Good night, Andy. Good night. 406 00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:40,739 Good night, Andy. 407 00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:45,577 Good night. 408 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:46,745 Night. 409 00:20:58,131 --> 00:21:00,425 All right, I'm going to go warm up the car. 410 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:01,927 Okay. Okay. 411 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,806 You dropped something. Jim? 412 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:09,685 Okay, I know I've been crying easily today, but... 413 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:14,898 I mean, that's just pretty killer, right? 414 00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:19,069 I mean, maybe it's stupid. 415 00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:24,700 It's wonderful. 416 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:26,535 I'm going to frame it. 417 00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:31,164 I can always UN-frame it.