1 00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:06,881 Hey, so this isn't matching up with this, 2 00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:08,425 and I'm not sure which one is right. 3 00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:10,188 Can you just hunt down the original for me? 4 00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:11,719 Yes, me do. 5 00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:13,471 All right. 6 00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:20,478 Hey, kev, what were you saying before about the papen/vork? 7 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:24,399 Me do it now. Go. Stop worry. 8 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,818 Kevin, do you feel okay? 9 00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:30,822 Me feel good. Body strong. Sleep big last night. 10 00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:32,383 Yeah, I think we should get him to the hospital. 11 00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:33,843 Yeah, all right, kev, why don't you come with us? 12 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,636 No, he's fine. Oscar: No, no, guys. He's fine. 13 00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:36,720 Angela: He's always been like that. 14 00:00:36,744 --> 00:00:37,787 No, he hasn't. 15 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,540 I mean, he's gotten worse over the years, but... 16 00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:41,875 He's making a statement. 17 00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:44,127 It's an ironic comment on our expectations of him. 18 00:00:44,752 --> 00:00:47,630 A funhouse image of our model of Kevin. 19 00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,424 You keep think that. 20 00:00:49,757 --> 00:00:52,135 Me mechanic not speak English, 21 00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:55,597 but he know what me mean when me say, "car no go." 22 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,182 And we best friends. 23 00:00:57,265 --> 00:01:02,103 80 me think why waste time say lot word when few word do trick. 24 00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:05,732 Kevin, I appreciate what you're trying to do. 25 00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:06,858 Thank. 26 00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:10,028 Here we have a word code. 27 00:01:10,111 --> 00:01:11,529 Same way we have a dress code. 28 00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:14,157 And what we're talking about is 29 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:19,120 basically the speech equivalent to just wearing underpants. 30 00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:24,167 Sometimes words you no need use 31 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,837 but need need for talk talk. 32 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:30,882 But save time. More success. 33 00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:33,843 Does it save time, though? Because we've been here for about an hour. 34 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,178 No me fault. 35 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:40,099 Kevin, at most you're saving a microscopic amount of time. 36 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:44,103 Many small time make big time. 37 00:01:44,812 --> 00:01:46,532 What are you going to do with all this time? 38 00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:48,024 See world. 39 00:01:48,107 --> 00:01:50,735 Kevin, you can't possibly save enough time to see the world. 40 00:01:50,818 --> 00:01:54,405 Kevin, are you saying "see the world" or seaworld? 41 00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:59,577 See world. Oceans. Fish. Jump. China. 42 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,956 No, see? Right there, that's the problem with your method 43 00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:06,042 because I still don't know if you're saying seaworld or "see the world." 44 00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:07,845 And it's taking a lot of time to explain it. 45 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:11,631 Fine, fine, I'll talk normally. 46 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:15,677 When me president, they see. 47 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:18,721 They see. 48 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:57,176 This week we are rolling out the brand new sabre tablet, the pyramid. 49 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:59,012 Why is it shaped like that? 50 00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:02,557 So you can tell your clients, "unleash the power of the pyramid." 51 00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,684 It's huge. How much does it weigh? 52 00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,477 Oh, no, no, no. Without the battery pack 53 00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:08,855 and the optional memory booster, it's barely 3 pounds. 54 00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:10,583 How much memory does it have without the booster? 55 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:11,733 Fifty I. 56 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,318 I'm sorry, "I"? Dwight: Mmm-hmm. 57 00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:14,652 How many I to a k? 58 00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,130 Dwight: You're really going to want the booster. 59 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,256 How on earth are we supposed to sell... 60 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,323 I'll take five. 61 00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:20,825 Andy, don't make us sell this stupid thing. 62 00:03:20,908 --> 00:03:22,469 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. This is Dwight's meeting. 63 00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:24,454 Thank you. The... I just wanted to pop in 64 00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:27,081 and get your opinions on ties and tie clips. 65 00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:29,226 Which combo do you think Robert's going to like more? 66 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,418 What do you think, c-span? 67 00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:34,212 "C-span"? 68 00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:36,341 Yeah, c-span. Cocker spaniel. 69 00:03:36,924 --> 00:03:39,284 Spaniel because of your Spanish bloodline. Cocker because... 70 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:44,724 Is this really the best use of our collective time? 71 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:47,685 I am still forming a first impression with Robert. 72 00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,188 Once it is formed, we can all relax, okay? 73 00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:53,608 I'm sorry to hijack your meeting, d-dub-dog, had to pull rank. 74 00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,405 Okay, let's look at some ties. 75 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,116 Here's how I'm going to help out from now on. 76 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,743 I'm going to not care. 77 00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:05,620 And I'm going to sit around quietly 78 00:04:05,703 --> 00:04:07,955 waiting for Andy's inevitable demise. 79 00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:10,416 Your friend Neil Patrick Harris 80 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,210 really made me laugh the other night. 81 00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:13,961 D dog, you have a message. 82 00:04:14,128 --> 00:04:15,797 Erin, you don't need to call him that. 83 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,882 Andy wants us to, p dog. 84 00:04:17,965 --> 00:04:19,634 It's okay, e dog. Who called? 85 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,469 Justine. She said she's coming by later. 86 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,262 Your ex-wife? 87 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:24,722 Wait, I thought she was a (bleep) 88 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,516 And you (bleep) Hated her guts. 89 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:27,600 (All exclaiming) 90 00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,602 No, no, no, I like her. 91 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,562 Well, I was just quoting you. 92 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,886 I would never say that about her. I don't know the woman. 93 00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:37,694 No, man. We get along now, real well. 94 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,570 All right. Can't wait to meet her. 95 00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:41,155 I'll introduce you. 96 00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:43,449 Yeah, we had a few fights, isuppose, 97 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:46,119 but last night we put a lot of that to bed. 98 00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:49,497 I can't tell you what I did with my ex-wife last night. 99 00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:51,958 I have to sing it. 100 00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,918 (Singing) We took a shower 101 00:04:54,001 --> 00:04:55,795 we were naked 102 00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:00,174 (scatting) 103 00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:12,395 Hi, dad. I... oh, boy. 104 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,023 Hello, Andy. Excellent tie. 105 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:19,193 Would you be requiring a cold beverage while you're here? 106 00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,945 I'd love some coffee. 107 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:25,575 I was looking over your projections and I think we can do better. 108 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:31,247 Are you factoring in the whole national economy declining and all that? 109 00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:33,124 Andy, do you know why I chose you? 110 00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:35,376 I think I can sum it up with what I think 111 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,587 is your favorite ice cream flavor. 112 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:39,714 Vanilla? 113 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:40,923 (Laughs) Vanilla? No. 114 00:05:42,049 --> 00:05:44,844 You'll never guess in a million billion years, you'll never guess. 115 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:49,098 You were saying you chose me. There was a reason. 116 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:54,479 Andy, can you inspire? Do you have that skillset? 117 00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:59,567 Can I inspire? (Laughs) I don't know. 118 00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:02,570 I don't know. 119 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,239 Robert: Oh, thank you. 120 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:06,324 Oh, sorry. 121 00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:07,950 Yeah, just put it down. 122 00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:19,545 Mmm. 123 00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:22,799 That is very cold. 124 00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:24,675 Yeah, it's old. 125 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,220 Why would I... 126 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:28,363 Iaskedifyou wanted a cold beverage 127 00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:29,597 and you said coffee. 128 00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:33,976 Why don't we get Robert a nice, hot, fresh cup and I will have this. 129 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,394 Andy, you don't want that. 130 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,939 I've been craving a freezing cup of old coffee. 131 00:06:38,105 --> 00:06:39,190 Mmm. 132 00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:40,399 Sorry. 133 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:43,820 You like her. 134 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,573 I do. Yeah. 135 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:48,950 She likes you. 136 00:06:49,116 --> 00:06:51,911 You know, we've both been into each other at different times 137 00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,663 and just never really synced up. 138 00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:55,838 Now we're in this weird dance and now we're... 139 00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:57,667 I'm afraid you've lost my interest. 140 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,546 Let me call you back. 141 00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:02,713 I got to go. 142 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,345 Robert: If the office superstore was supposed to 143 00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:11,722 put us little suppliers out of business, 144 00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,307 why are we still here? 145 00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:18,062 Yeah. This is where we go. 146 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:21,148 You'd go some place else. That's not it. That's not the answer. 147 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,317 It's a answer. It's a wrong answer. 148 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:24,777 There are no wrong answers. 149 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,529 Take a look at where you are. 150 00:07:27,154 --> 00:07:32,326 Where you once worked in a dying industry, you now work at its birth. 151 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:37,331 Those superstores are terrified of us. 152 00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:39,083 Anybody know why? 153 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:42,587 Wait, they're terrified? 154 00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:45,506 Let me tell you how I buy something these days. 155 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:48,426 I know what I want, I go on the Internet and get the best price. 156 00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:54,098 Or I don't know what I want and I go to a small store that can help me. 157 00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:58,519 The era of personal service is back. You are back. 158 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:02,440 You'll find that customers will pay our higher prices 159 00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:04,066 and then they will thank us, 160 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,153 and we will say to them, "you are welcome." 161 00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:13,618 Thank you. 162 00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:14,869 Ooh! 163 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:19,790 Andrew, I chose you for a reason. Lead these people. 164 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:22,793 Show me the best numbers this place has ever seen. 165 00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:26,339 Last quarter we saw 4% growth. Double it. 166 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:27,882 You got it. Double. 167 00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:28,966 Done. Pntnotmddmg. 168 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,330 Neither am I. It's already done. 169 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:32,887 I'm just kidding. 170 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,639 It's going to wkesomefime. Double. 171 00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:42,897 Hey. 172 00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:56,702 What's up, guys? 173 00:08:57,244 --> 00:08:59,622 Just thought we'd have a little rap session. 174 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:02,583 Talk about business. See how things are going. 175 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:04,502 (Clears throat) 176 00:09:06,253 --> 00:09:07,380 Why don't you start? 177 00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:08,839 If no one else wants to. 178 00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:12,760 I was just thinking about Robert. Man, what a boss. 179 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:16,555 Just throws down goals, you know? 180 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,141 Anyway, how's the sales doubling project going? 181 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,619 Yeah, how are we supposed to do that? 182 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,353 We can't just press a magic button. 183 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,730 Of course not. There's no magic button. 184 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:28,025 You have to summon that. 185 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:31,028 If we could just double our sales, we already would have. 186 00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,530 You're not making any sense. 187 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,115 He brings up two good points. 188 00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:37,952 Do you have any new leads? Any new territories you want us to look into? 189 00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:39,954 Maybe have an in with a big client 190 00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:41,622 that we could get our foot in the door? 191 00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:43,708 Dwight, anything? 192 00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:46,752 We could talk about how fast children grow up 193 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,689 and before you know it, they're out of the house. 194 00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:52,174 You know what? We need to get our heads out of the box. 195 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,010 If we did have something, 196 00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:57,596 what would it look like? What would it be? 197 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:58,764 Tuna. 198 00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,891 New leads, new territory to look into, 199 00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:02,309 maybe an in with a big company 200 00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,854 that we could get our foot in the door. 201 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:07,606 Fart. 202 00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:10,985 Good sesh. 203 00:10:12,319 --> 00:10:13,821 That leg's asleep. 204 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,157 (Fax machine whirring) 205 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:18,784 Hello. 206 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,287 I'm looking for Darryl philbin? 207 00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:26,125 You must think... no, I'm not. I'm using the fax. 208 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:27,668 This isn't... no, wait. 209 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,421 I'm not supposed to represent the company, right? 210 00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:31,964 There's usually an Erin here, so... 211 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,174 Okay. 212 00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:35,634 Darryl, a girl! 213 00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:41,557 (Singing) Rub a dub, dub, apricot scrub 214 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:42,725 what's up, darling? 215 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:44,602 Everybody, this is justine. 216 00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:46,937 Hi, justine. Stanley: Hello. 217 00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:49,774 This is Jim, Oscar. 218 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,902 Darryl: Everybody. 219 00:10:53,235 --> 00:10:54,403 Kevin. 220 00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,117 Can we go some place private? 221 00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:01,869 Follow me. I got a space. 222 00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:06,540 After you. I've been thinking about you all morning. 223 00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:09,335 I don't know what you did, I can barely walk today. 224 00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:11,879 (Clicks tongue) 225 00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:16,217 D bone, there you are. 226 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:19,136 Let me guess. Somebody needs a brownie. 227 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,221 Lick the spoon? 228 00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:21,347 No. No. That's okay. 229 00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:24,016 I just, I wanted to ask you about... 230 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,476 Is this about the profits? 231 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:28,813 Because if it is, I just don't see the point. It's so wall street. 232 00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:32,066 I know, right? Yeah. 233 00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:36,737 How is everything? 234 00:11:37,404 --> 00:11:39,115 Good. Really, really good. 235 00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,200 Must be a tough time to be a family farm. 236 00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:44,245 It is. And beets are not immune. 237 00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:47,832 I made some inroads in salad, but heirloom tomatoes are pushing back. 238 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,464 (Exclaims) What are you going to do about that? 239 00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:52,753 I don't know, what do you mean? 240 00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,880 Got to be some way you could double your beet sales. 241 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,925 You wanted the job, the job is yours, just do the job. 242 00:12:00,427 --> 00:12:01,846 And I'll do mine. 243 00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:05,099 Walnuts? 244 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,983 Have you seen this? 245 00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:15,151 Parenting? Yeah. 246 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,569 This is Cece's favorite magazine. 247 00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:18,279 Sheloves the pictures of babies. 248 00:12:18,362 --> 00:12:20,632 She looks at it when she's on the potty and she makes the faces. 249 00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:22,074 Have you read it? 250 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:25,661 Has an adult member of your family read this particular issue? 251 00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:27,913 I flipped through it. 252 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,249 So you saw the article on the importance of 253 00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,543 taking frequent walks while you're pregnant? 254 00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:34,336 Of course, yeah. Jim: We know that. 255 00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,839 I will be taking a morning walk and an afternoon walk. 256 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,632 Would you like to join me? 257 00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:39,717 That sounds nice. 258 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:40,801 Great. 259 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:43,804 You have a walking buddy. 260 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:45,514 I do. 261 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,558 Thanks for coming in, guys. 262 00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:50,102 You don't have to thank us for coming in. It's ourjob. 263 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,688 Well, I never got thanked for coming into a meeting, 264 00:12:52,771 --> 00:12:54,971 and I always wanted to be, so I'm going to thank people. 265 00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:56,775 What's under the blanket? 266 00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,486 This is what's under the blanket. 267 00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:01,989 We don't get it. 268 00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:05,868 These are incentives. It's how we're going to double growth. 269 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:09,622 Now, you're probably all asking yourselves, "well, how does this work?" 270 00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:13,459 It seems like a basic reward system where you give us points 271 00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:15,836 and then we redeem those points for prizes. 272 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,922 You're exactly right and you get a point. 273 00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:20,132 Oh. Uh, is that a vibrator? 274 00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:21,675 Andy: 20 points. 275 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:22,843 How does one get a point? 276 00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,470 I've outlined the exact parameters 277 00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:26,113 in an email, so check your spam folders. 278 00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:29,683 But basically, you do your job better, you get points. 279 00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:34,104 So collect 15 points and redeem them for this polar bear. 280 00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:37,399 Why is it all kids' stuff and a vibrator? It's so gross. 281 00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:39,360 There's lots of stuff. 282 00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,029 John Irving, collected works, 22 points. 283 00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:48,369 Or you can pool your points and redeem 55 for this maternity shirt. Ahem! 284 00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:50,704 How about you want us to work harder, pay us more. 285 00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:51,789 I can't. 286 00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,392 This points system is really insulting. 287 00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:54,583 Ooh! 288 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,670 I didn't mean to offend you and I hope you'll forgive me 289 00:13:57,753 --> 00:14:01,257 because I am very, very "sari." 16 points. 290 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:02,508 That's a tablecloth. 291 00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:04,351 What if we went all the way up to 500 points? 292 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,803 That's a crazy amount of points. 293 00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:07,846 But what if? Well, what do you want? 294 00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:10,140 I don't know. For such a crazy number, 295 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,600 I'd like something pretty crazy. 296 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,937 All right, for 500 points, I will wear a dress to work. 297 00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:16,480 (All laugh) 298 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:20,401 That's pretty good. What about for 1,000 points? 299 00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:22,486 I'll run naked through the parking lot 300 00:14:22,569 --> 00:14:23,988 with a donut on my ding dong. 301 00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:25,197 (All laugh) 302 00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:26,490 Yeah, you like that? 303 00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:28,909 All right, for 5,000 points, 304 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:31,745 I will let you tattoo whatever you want 305 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,581 on the stern of the old s.S. Bernard. 306 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,333 Phyllis: No. Really? 307 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,377 All right. All right. And you are totally serious? 308 00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:40,921 Swear to god. Hope to die. Now let's get to work. 309 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:43,757 Wait, but you did say we can pool our points, right? 310 00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:45,592 In that case, 311 00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,303 let's get to work, guys. All: Yeah! 312 00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:49,847 Jim: Let's do it, guys. 313 00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:51,098 Creed: Good! 314 00:14:52,891 --> 00:14:54,935 I can have it to you by the beginning of next week. 315 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,312 All right, thank you very much. 316 00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,189 Phyllis, brachen auto? 317 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,025 Ask for Donald. Karen's bananas. 318 00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:02,276 Okay. 319 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:04,486 T-bag-bone. 320 00:15:04,611 --> 00:15:05,696 Andrew. 321 00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,448 Dwight: Hold on, one second. 322 00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:11,035 Have you noticed a little bit of a mood shift around here? 323 00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:13,203 Jim: No. I haven't noticed anything. 324 00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:18,876 Really? Because I sat next to Stanley for years and this is nap time. 325 00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:21,104 Open eye nap time. He balances the phone on his shoulder 326 00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:22,129 and just powers down. 327 00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:23,213 Now look at him. 328 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:26,425 You've got to unleash the power of the pyramid. 329 00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:28,427 I don't know what to tell you, man. 330 00:15:29,636 --> 00:15:32,181 Do you think it has something to do with that incentive program? 331 00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:34,184 Oh, 100%. We all want to see you tattoo your ass. 332 00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:38,096 I think people thought I was kidding when I said that. 333 00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,456 No. You definitely weren't kidding. 334 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,023 That came across loud and clear. 335 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,691 Oh, by the way, I want to hand this in. 336 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:43,901 120 points? 337 00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:45,152 Yeah. Big sale. 338 00:15:45,652 --> 00:15:48,173 Don't worry about it, though. I don't really care about the points. 339 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,865 I would like a point receipt though. 340 00:15:49,948 --> 00:15:52,242 Hey, yes, this is Jim Halpert calling for Donald. 341 00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,453 Can you hold on for one second? Thank you very much. 342 00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:57,206 Pam: Who talked to Maggie at Kaufman's? 343 00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:04,922 And I'm back. How are you, sir? 344 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:09,009 I think you can squeeze a couple more golf games in, right? 345 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:12,012 Where's Angela? Angela, these are yours. 346 00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:16,797 Hey, Kevin, what are you doing? 347 00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:18,018 Don't talk to me. 348 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,193 Jim: Yeah. 349 00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:30,030 Hi. Professor frank. Andy Bernard, class of '95. 350 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:35,411 Hey there, I'm a huge fan of your management book, management. 351 00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:38,789 Uh, quick question, I may be missing a chapter here: 352 00:16:38,872 --> 00:16:41,625 "De-incentivizing." what are your strategies? 353 00:16:41,708 --> 00:16:43,377 I'm looking for a real blow to morale. 354 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,546 Uh, why? 355 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:47,631 Well, um, 356 00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:49,692 I guess you could say I'm in one of those 357 00:16:49,716 --> 00:16:52,511 classic ass-tattoo-incentive situations. 358 00:16:57,724 --> 00:16:58,851 (All cheering) 359 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,065 Took 'em one day. 360 00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:06,817 Are you ready? 361 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:08,735 (Pam reading) 362 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,279 (All agreeing) 363 00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:12,072 I like it. I like it. 364 00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:13,991 (Reading) 365 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,325 (All cheering) 366 00:17:15,742 --> 00:17:18,579 Okay, keep in mind, it's not too late to choose another prize 367 00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:21,665 and there are some great new additions. 368 00:17:21,748 --> 00:17:24,751 My car. (Chuckles) For 1,000 points. 369 00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:26,253 Or best offer. 370 00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:27,337 What else you got? 371 00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:29,298 Pam: Oh, and then this was Phyllis' idea. 372 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:30,591 Oh! Oh! 373 00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,385 Meredith: So nasty, Phyllis. 374 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:34,595 Ryan: Oh, my god! 375 00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:41,643 We were hoping you could do something like this. 376 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:43,854 So coming out of his butt is a... 377 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,607 Yes. 378 00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:48,233 Yeah. No problem. 379 00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:49,693 (Sniggering) 380 00:17:49,776 --> 00:17:53,197 We should think about this. Does anyone have any better ideas? 381 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:54,823 I like what we have. 382 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,450 Yeah, nice try. 383 00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:58,035 Oscar: It's pretty edgy. 384 00:17:58,118 --> 00:17:59,745 (Tattoo needle buzzing) 385 00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:03,081 I just need a second outside. 386 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:12,966 Yeah. You getting psyched up? 387 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:15,111 Andy, nobody really expects you to go through with this. 388 00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:17,804 Toons, what am I doing here? 389 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:21,350 Why did Robert pick me? 390 00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:24,603 Confession, I don't know what I'm doing. 391 00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:26,772 I mean, do you like it? 392 00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:28,857 You having fun? 393 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,025 (Snorts) 394 00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,903 I'll tell you this, everybody else is having a lot of fun. 395 00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:35,113 And you did that. 396 00:18:35,822 --> 00:18:38,534 My ass is only so big. I mean, I can't do this every day. 397 00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:40,303 But I think it's big enough to buy you some time 398 00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:41,912 until your next great idea. 399 00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:44,540 Which, by the way, I can't wait for. 400 00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:50,420 No one expects me to go through with this, right? 401 00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:51,838 Absolutely not. 402 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,804 Let's ink my stink. 403 00:18:58,887 --> 00:18:59,930 (All cheering) 404 00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:01,265 Yeah! 405 00:19:01,848 --> 00:19:06,311 My heart belongs to music, but my ass belongs to these people. 406 00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:09,273 All: Whoa! 407 00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:12,651 Do your worst. 408 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,155 Uh, you can keep your pants on actually. 409 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,533 If you just drop them down a bit, that'd be great. 410 00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:21,118 They are already off, my good sir. 411 00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:23,036 I'd really prefer they not be down. 412 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:26,623 Well, I think down's better. Sweating pretty heavily down there. 413 00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:33,505 Do you think you could work from this? 414 00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:34,965 We made some small adjustments. 415 00:19:35,048 --> 00:19:36,091 Okay, you want me to... 416 00:19:36,174 --> 00:19:37,467 Just those few adjustments. Yeah. 417 00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,012 All right. Let's begin. 418 00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:41,847 This is where I grin and bear... ow, ow! 419 00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:43,032 That was just a cotton swab. 420 00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:45,142 Invest in softer cotton, sir. 421 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:47,728 (Buzzing) (Exhaling) 422 00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:51,231 Andy: Ow! 423 00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:53,191 (Screaming in pain) 424 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:56,570 Oh! 425 00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:00,240 Obviously you can go the ass tattoo route 426 00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,743 and obviously I'm going to like it. 427 00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:04,995 Draw some blood! Ha-ha! 428 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,457 (Screaming) 429 00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:16,673 Robert: Why did I choose Andy to run the office? 430 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:21,595 Because he's all surface, uncomplicated. What you see is what you get. 431 00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:25,182 It could be a recipe for mediocrity, yes. 432 00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:27,768 But then again, it might just be why people fight for him. 433 00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,856 It's a nard dog. 434 00:20:32,939 --> 00:20:34,066 (Cheering) 435 00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:36,109 That's my nickity name. 436 00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:38,945 I love it. I love it. 437 00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,280 Jim: Pull up your pants. 438 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,659 There's something about an underdog 439 00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:46,953 that really inspires the unexceptional. 440 00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:52,584 Um, what should we talk about? 441 00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:56,046 Well, we could talk about an ethical dilemma I'm having. 442 00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:58,632 Oh, yeah, sure. I hope I can help. 443 00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:01,885 A coworker of mine is drinking caffeine while pregnant 444 00:21:01,968 --> 00:21:04,721 and I don't know if I should call social services about it. 445 00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:06,473 Angela, that's pretty transparently me. 446 00:21:06,973 --> 00:21:08,141 Maybe. 447 00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,519 You know, it's just herbal tea. 448 00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,021 In mugs with trace amounts of coffee. 449 00:21:13,980 --> 00:21:16,483 Yeah. I think you should call social services. 450 00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:17,609 I already did. 451 00:21:19,736 --> 00:21:22,072 You know, maybe we should just have our own pregnancies 452 00:21:22,155 --> 00:21:24,449 and not pretend like we're in this together. 453 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:25,575 Fine. 454 00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:26,660 Fine.