1 00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:06,339 This is Pam. 2 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:12,095 Oh, my god, are you sure? Okay, okay, we'll be right there. 3 00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:13,972 Everybody! 4 00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:15,682 The balloon is falling! Kevin: What? 5 00:00:16,724 --> 00:00:18,369 Pam: There's this balloon that has been floating 6 00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:20,311 in the rafters of the warehouse for, like, ever. 7 00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:21,438 And... 8 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:24,399 Okay, it's not, it doesn't sound cool, you just have to see it. 9 00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:30,071 Vveh, lguessit doesntlook thatcoolenher 10 00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:32,449 but it's been up there a long time, 11 00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:34,909 so it's become a pretty big deal. 12 00:00:36,744 --> 00:00:38,913 Wow. It's the end of an era. 13 00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:40,707 Pam: You did a good job, buddy. 14 00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:42,750 Now it's time to come home. 15 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:47,172 I remember when that balloon went up there. I was still with Gil. 16 00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:49,215 We were so happy. 17 00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:52,594 When that went up there, I had hair like rapunzel. 18 00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,556 How long do you think it's been up there, Kevin? 19 00:00:56,723 --> 00:01:00,768 I just remember pushing aside my silky bangs to say, 20 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,104 "look, a balloon." 21 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,024 My warcraft clan was still on speaking terms. 22 00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:08,193 My kid didn't have a face tattoo. 23 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,695 I was still thinking of going back to school. 24 00:01:10,778 --> 00:01:12,947 And I was still just a paper salesman. 25 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:17,368 This has been fun, Pam. Thanks for calling us all down here. 26 00:01:21,122 --> 00:01:24,250 All: Kill the balloon! Kill the balloon! 27 00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:27,712 Kill the balloon! Kill the balloon! 28 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,956 So they accidentally gave us an extra egg sandwich this morning. 29 00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:48,024 Who wants it? Kevin: Ooh! Right here. 30 00:01:48,107 --> 00:01:49,234 Right here! Pick me! 31 00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:51,027 Allow me to solve your problem then. 32 00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:52,445 Nellie. 33 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:53,655 Mmm. 34 00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:59,327 Ugh! That is disgusting. 35 00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:02,455 Do you call that a king James breakfast pie? 36 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,123 What brings you to town? 37 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:09,254 Certainly not the Harry Houdini museum. What a nobody! 38 00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:12,257 "Oh, look, some Hungarian just found their way out of a sack, 39 00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:14,008 "let's build a shrine." 40 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,260 No, I've come to work here. 41 00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:16,510 What? 42 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:20,056 How could Robert transfer Nellie here after the sabre store debacle? 43 00:02:20,139 --> 00:02:21,849 She stinks of failure. 44 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:24,018 The fact that she could show her face around here 45 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,645 is an embarrassment. 46 00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:28,731 I should know. I'm in anidenficalsfluafion. 47 00:02:28,856 --> 00:02:32,026 Robert did say you'd be joining us. Welcome, I'm Tony. 48 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:33,987 What? 49 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,947 I said, "I'm Tony." 50 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:38,825 Okay, I made a mistake. I thought it might go unnoticed. 51 00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:40,994 But, I'm Toby. 52 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,204 You messed up saying your name? 53 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:44,789 It happens, okay? 54 00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,000 So let's just find an empty desk for you 55 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:50,795 and I'm sure Robert will be with you as soon as he gets in. 56 00:02:50,878 --> 00:02:51,879 That one looks empty. 57 00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:53,506 No. It's Andy's office. 58 00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:55,717 Oh, is it? 59 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:59,387 I have one simple philosophy in business, 60 00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:02,056 if the seat is open, the job is open. 61 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,393 It's how I came to briefly race a formula one car. 62 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,606 The three slowest laps ever recorded. 63 00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:15,236 Another beautiful day in Tallahassee. 64 00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:17,488 Good morning, Alonzo! 65 00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:18,990 Good morning, Erin! 66 00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:21,701 How are you? How's your family doing? 67 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:28,249 Look at this place. Five rooms and I get to clean them all. 68 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:31,169 That's right. I'm a maid for an old lady. 69 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:35,131 Her grandson's staying with us, too, because he ran out of money. 70 00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:37,967 Listen to me, bragging away. 71 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:41,804 Newe. Robefl. 72 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:47,018 How are you adjusting to life in Scranton so far? 73 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:50,938 So far, so good! The water pressure in the hotel is marvelous. 74 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:56,861 It is astounding what a difference that can make, isn't it? 75 00:03:56,944 --> 00:03:57,945 Mmm-hmm. 76 00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:01,783 Now, let's find you something fun to do here, shall we? 77 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,910 Oh, I've already found it. 78 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:07,747 I am manager, a natural next step. It fits like a glove. 79 00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,332 We have a manager. 80 00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:12,752 Do you really? Because it is 10:00, 81 00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:14,712 I've been in this chair for an hour 82 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,632 and no other manager has come and sat on my lap. 83 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:24,681 Excuse me, has anyone seen Andy this morning? 84 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:29,227 Yeah, that's weird. He's usually here by now. Right, guys? 85 00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:32,730 Andy: Hello? Andy, it's Robert. 86 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,399 Why aren't you at work? 87 00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:37,735 Hey, Robert, I really wish I could come into work today 88 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,320 but I'm super sick. 89 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:42,240 I don't care. I don't care. 90 00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:44,659 Please come to work immediately. 91 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:48,996 Okay, I'll try to come in, even though I'm really sick 92 00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:53,126 with the Florida flu! 93 00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:57,255 He just hung up on me mid-sentence. 94 00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:59,257 I'm in Florida to get Erin. 95 00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:00,984 As soon as I heard she wasn't coming back to Scranton, 96 00:05:01,008 --> 00:05:04,053 I jumped straight in my car and drove straight down until I hit the ocean. 97 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,847 My heart is my map. 98 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,684 Turns out Tallahassee is about two hundred miles inland, 99 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:12,353 so I overshot a good amount. 100 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:15,231 But still, not bad for a heart map, right? 101 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,363 Thanks a lot, BP. 102 00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:25,825 Not much we can do about this until he gets here. 103 00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,228 Can't you do something about this? 104 00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:30,663 Sometimes the flowers arrange themselves, Jim. 105 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:34,959 Right. 106 00:05:35,042 --> 00:05:38,004 What is going on, and where's Andy? 107 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,423 And what is going on? 108 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,842 Erin, you got a package! 109 00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:44,594 Erin: I'm in the bathroom! 110 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,221 Where's the postage? I mean there's no shipping label. 111 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,890 Did you wash your hands? 112 00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:50,558 Yes. 113 00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:56,397 Here I am, signed, sealed, delivered I'm yours 114 00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,149 Andy, what are you doing here? 115 00:05:58,399 --> 00:06:00,067 It's great to see you. 116 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,028 Ah! 117 00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:06,657 Uh, I am here to take you back to Scranton 118 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,827 because I love you and I want to be with you. 119 00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:11,788 Irene: Where's the ring? 120 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:14,624 Where's the ring, Lancelot? 121 00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:17,168 Would you guys mind if we talked privately for a second? 122 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,378 Sorry, Glenn. 123 00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:28,095 Andy, I am so happy to see you, 124 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,139 but I'm not coming back with you. 125 00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:32,725 Glenn: Why won't she go with him? 126 00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:36,604 I don't know. Maybe it's because he's not that handsome. 127 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:37,772 Hey. 128 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:39,649 Don't listen. 129 00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:45,738 So what is going on? 130 00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:48,533 That does seem to be the question, doesn't it? 131 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:53,996 "Hey, this is messed up, bro. Who is this weird lady?" 132 00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:57,041 I know. It's a lot. 133 00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:01,295 So, who knows what's going on? Anyone? 134 00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:05,424 You, yes, wait. I am very good intuiting names. 135 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:09,095 Is it chumbo? 136 00:07:12,139 --> 00:07:15,434 I think it's a cross between "dumbo" and "jumbo," 137 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:16,978 with a hint of "chubby." 138 00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,647 It's not a name. 139 00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:21,899 So no one can tell me what's going on? 140 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:25,194 Well, let me illuminate things for you. 141 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,446 We are getting to know each other. 142 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,157 "But why, my lady?" 143 00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:33,661 Because I am your new manager. 144 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,582 Robert, is Nellie our new manager? 145 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:41,127 This is an odd situation. 146 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:44,755 But it's very interesting how it's playing out. 147 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:48,926 We live in this world of routines and rhythms. 148 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:52,430 Kevin ate someone's lunch, Phyllis has a new necklace. 149 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,224 Who is this woman? 150 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:59,270 I came in here simply trying to get to know you, learn your names, 151 00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:01,564 maybe have someone teach me the company song. 152 00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:05,443 And what I got in return was nothing but disrespect. 153 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,069 You leave me no choice 154 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,953 but to get to know you in a more intimate way. 155 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,281 Hot tub party? 156 00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:12,283 Performance reviews. 157 00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:15,036 How can you give us performance reviews if you don't know us? 158 00:08:15,202 --> 00:08:19,332 On first impressions, so I recommend smiling. 159 00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:21,584 It goes a long way with me. 160 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,547 Erin, you really nailed the hot dogs today. 161 00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:30,343 Thanks. I've been reusing the hot dog water, so it gets more flavor. 162 00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:32,094 It's only going to keep getting better. 163 00:08:34,513 --> 00:08:38,017 So, Andrew, how does your skinny brunette girlfriend, Jessica, 164 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,895 feel about you visiting your ex-girlfriend? 165 00:08:45,232 --> 00:08:48,152 Well, we're not really dating anymore, 166 00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:50,488 so basically, I mean I just have to 167 00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:52,615 cross a few t's and dot a few I's, you know. 168 00:08:53,532 --> 00:08:57,036 So you came to get me, but you still have a girlfriend. 169 00:08:57,536 --> 00:08:59,997 I think you should leave, young man. 170 00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:05,086 All right, technically yes. I am still technically dating Jessica. 171 00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:07,546 But when I realized that I wanted you back, 172 00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:10,591 ijustjumped in a car and I drove down here 173 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,927 and I didn't want to stop until I saw you. 174 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,806 You didn't even stop to pee? Gross! 175 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,390 Any luck? 176 00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:22,019 No, he just keeps letting all the calls go to voicemail. 177 00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:25,606 Andy: Please leave a message 178 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:28,859 for Andy Bernard include your name... 179 00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:33,864 Oh, you're doing so good! Oh, my god, you're Superman over there. 180 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,200 You should take it. 181 00:09:36,283 --> 00:09:39,036 It's probably your girlfriend wondering where you are. 182 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,163 Nope. It's just work. Not important. 183 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,082 You know I can really feel this in my quads. 184 00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:44,542 I can tell I'm getting stronger. 185 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:48,045 You really wouldn't feel those kinds of results after one session. 186 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:49,213 I don't know, it's... 187 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:52,091 Just let it vibrate. It's fine. 188 00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:54,051 You could put it on silent. 189 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,720 I don't think it does that. 190 00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:57,638 Just go to preferences, then click... 191 00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:58,764 Proctology. 192 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,266 Jim: Andy? 193 00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:01,892 Jim? 194 00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:02,977 Andy, where are you? 195 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,648 I'm home in bed. I've been in bed all day. 196 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,068 I got the serious poops, man. 197 00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:14,572 He's here in Tallahassee, trying to turn my life upside down. 198 00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:16,991 What? You're in Florida? 199 00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:19,285 Andy, Nellie Bertram's trying to take your job. 200 00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:20,619 What do you mean, take my job? 201 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:21,996 Like, set up camp in your office 202 00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:23,181 and is calling herself the manager. 203 00:10:23,205 --> 00:10:24,498 Okay. 204 00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,917 Jim, I really appreciate you looking out for me 205 00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,670 but I'm not coming home without Erin. 206 00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,005 So, I'll talk to you later. 207 00:10:32,339 --> 00:10:33,466 Guys! 208 00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:37,136 We cannot do these performance reviews, okay? 209 00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:38,488 If we go into them, you're basically 210 00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:39,805 accepting Nellie as your manager. 211 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:42,016 And trust me. You do not want her as your manager. 212 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:43,476 Trust you? 213 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:47,188 The way Pam trusted you to provide for her so she wouldn't have to work? 214 00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:49,273 I like working here. 215 00:10:49,356 --> 00:10:50,900 Dwight, should she be our manager? 216 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,778 I wouldn't let her manage a celery farm. 217 00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:56,322 Those who can't farm, farm celery. 218 00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:59,825 And when was the last time Dwight and I agreed on anything ever? 219 00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:02,828 All right, let's get going. 220 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:07,458 First up, it is the woman with the beautiful fingernails and the tiny feet. 221 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,210 Phyllis. 222 00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,963 Nellie, I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable 223 00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:15,132 being evaluated by someone I don't know. 224 00:11:16,383 --> 00:11:19,637 Okay. I understand. Let me show you how these are going to go. 225 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:21,179 Dwight. 226 00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,933 I refuse to be judged by someone that I do not respect. 227 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:25,336 I lost respect for you in Florida. 228 00:11:25,392 --> 00:11:27,603 If it was up to me, you would be in jail forever. 229 00:11:27,686 --> 00:11:30,648 Dwight, I have completed your evaluation. 230 00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:31,816 You're getting a raise. 231 00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:32,942 What? 232 00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:37,863 Dwight, you carry this company on your massive shoulders. 233 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,699 You are our atlas 234 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,536 and for that, do you not think you deserve a raise? 235 00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:45,830 There's no limit to what I think I deserve. 236 00:11:45,913 --> 00:11:46,914 Then you accept it? 237 00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:48,457 Five percent, no less! 238 00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:49,750 Absolutely not. 239 00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:51,043 Seven percent. 240 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,461 Six percent! I know my worth. 241 00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:54,088 Raise isn't real. 242 00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:56,494 Money isn't real, ever since we got off the gold standard. 243 00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:59,677 So, Phyllis, now you know the rules of the game, 244 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:03,639 do you care to have a go? I'm fairly certain you're going to like it. 245 00:12:04,431 --> 00:12:05,683 Phyllis. 246 00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:07,393 Pam. 247 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:13,440 So, Phyllis, I have been very impressed with you. 248 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,901 Really? Oh, yeah. 249 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:18,946 The way you conquered your fear and came in here, 250 00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:20,990 and now the way you sit there. 251 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,618 All very impressive! 252 00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:32,126 Are you aware that Nellie is giving out raises? 253 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,962 I am not. How? 254 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,257 Yeah, she gave one to Dwight, Phyllis... 255 00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:40,551 Let me guess, you want one, too. 256 00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:42,678 Take the family to Disney town. 257 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:43,888 Land! World! 258 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:46,825 It's not that I don't want... Well, yes, I guess I'd take a raise. 259 00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,285 That's not what I'm saying. That's not... sorry. 260 00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:53,439 Jim, I told Andy to come in and yet he is still not in. 261 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:59,278 By contrast, Nellie Bertram saw a vacuum and filled it. 262 00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:02,489 I make no mention of her business experience 263 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:05,993 or her relationship with Jo Bennett, my boss. 264 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:08,996 Jim, would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor? 265 00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:10,247 Oh, god, nature, please. 266 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,291 When two animals are having sex, 267 00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:15,753 one of them is communicating a message to the other. 268 00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:18,005 Nothing is... This isn't very helpful. 269 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,466 You're going to want to hear the sexual metaphor. 270 00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:21,550 Was that not the... 271 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,970 All life is sex. 272 00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:28,432 And all sex is competition. 273 00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:29,725 Mmm-hmm. 274 00:13:29,808 --> 00:13:31,769 And there are no rules to that game. 275 00:13:32,519 --> 00:13:34,480 That wasn't so perverted, now was it? 276 00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,190 Was that it? No, that wasn't bad. 277 00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:41,987 My point is there is one person in charge of every office in america. 278 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,448 And that person is Charles Darwin. 279 00:13:44,531 --> 00:13:48,327 In the end, doesn't he decide who the manager is? 280 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,542 No. I would have said no. 281 00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:01,257 Hmm. Let's see. Review, review, review! Yes, good stuff. 282 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:02,675 Here you go, have a raise. 283 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,134 Oh, great! 284 00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:07,930 I mean if we go in there and take these raises, what are we saying? 285 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:11,183 That it's okay for someone to just take someone else's job? 286 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,559 Shouldn't work like that. 287 00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:15,145 No, you know what? Nellie's right. 288 00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:17,481 That is exactly how it should work. 289 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,984 Darryl, this office is mine now. 290 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,067 Yes! 291 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,194 Yes! 292 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,279 Yes. 293 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,362 Yes. 294 00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:25,406 Yes. 295 00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:29,118 Yes. Sorry, it's too late. I'm here. This is mine. Back off. 296 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:31,829 Ow! Ow! 297 00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:35,416 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 298 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:43,507 Well fought! I accept the outcome. 299 00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:48,512 Touch me and I'll sue. 300 00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:53,809 I've heard that's amazing when it works. 301 00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,019 Yeah. If I had my own... 302 00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:56,562 Andy, I care about you and I think... 303 00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:58,522 Sorry. You go. 304 00:14:58,647 --> 00:14:59,648 No, go ahead. 305 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,567 Well, I was just going to say that 306 00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:03,378 if I had my own fountain it would be two frogs 307 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,404 and they're spitting into each other's mouth. 308 00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,282 It's just stupid. What were you going to say? 309 00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,159 Andy, you broke my heart. 310 00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:14,580 Do you know what it feels like to be constantly rejected by you 311 00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:18,167 and to have to watch you date someone else? 312 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:19,877 You broke my heart, too. 313 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:23,964 You broke my heart more recently and more often. 314 00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:29,011 And I think at some point in my head it just sort of clicked 315 00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:31,180 that we're not meant to be. 316 00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:39,271 I'm so sorry that we have not loved each other at the same time. 317 00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:42,066 I know. 318 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:01,251 Nellie: So, Pamela, I'm going to start this review 319 00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,379 not by telling you what you lack, 320 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:06,507 but rather asking you what it is you want. 321 00:16:07,007 --> 00:16:09,051 Really? Okay, well! 322 00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:16,266 I like consistency in the manager's position. No weird silent coups. 323 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,643 Stuff like that, I'm easy. 324 00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:19,006 That's not really what you want. 325 00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:22,356 What you want is a good night's sleep, working mother of two. 326 00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:23,565 Whoa. 327 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:27,736 That's kind of condescending. Would you say something like that to Jim? 328 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,197 Does Jim have to breastfeed? 329 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:34,326 Did Jim carry around those babies for, what is it, 12 months? 330 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,250 Be honest. Does Jim really get up in the night? 331 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:40,499 Well, I mean, the only reason he doesn't is because I'm breastfeeding 332 00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:42,459 and Philip doesn't like a bottle. 333 00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,378 You must be exhausted. 334 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:46,547 Fancy a nap? 335 00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,342 Go on. Have a nap. 336 00:16:54,012 --> 00:16:56,140 Lie down right here. 337 00:16:57,224 --> 00:16:59,351 There's a blanket in here. 338 00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:02,438 I used it earlier myself. 339 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,732 Dreamt I could breathe underwater like Jacques cousteau. 340 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,155 No one will know. 341 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,074 I'll wake you up. 342 00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:20,080 When you wake up, you will earn more money. 343 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:24,668 I think you're a witch. 344 00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:29,590 I think you're amazing. You know that, right? 345 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:35,345 Go on. Say it, "I'm amazing." 346 00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:38,056 I'm amazing. 347 00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,819 Erin, I think you're making a big mistake right now. 348 00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,697 Andy is a nice boy. 349 00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:57,284 Really? Because you've been kind of a "b" to him all afternoon. 350 00:17:57,701 --> 00:18:00,829 I was protecting you because I thought he was no good. 351 00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:03,457 But I can tell you really like him. 352 00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:05,792 And he's willing to lose his job for you. 353 00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:08,420 In this economy, with Europe on the brink... 354 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,839 Nene, what would you do without me? 355 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:13,425 We're not your concern, sweetheart. 356 00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:16,720 Besides, Glenn's going to sue home depot. 357 00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:21,391 He got his foreskin caught in some lawn furniture. 358 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:24,228 Jim, time for your review. 359 00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:26,813 No, it's not, because you don't really work here. 360 00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:29,149 Why are you so staunchly defending 361 00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,568 your friend who has abandoned you? 362 00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:37,616 Wouldn't you rather come talk with me, maybe, definitely get a raise? 363 00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:38,742 See, that's the thing. 364 00:18:38,825 --> 00:18:40,452 I don't know if you can even give raises. 365 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:44,456 Jim, have you ever heard of a character named tinker bell? 366 00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:47,167 Yes. I'm tinker bell. 367 00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:52,881 I'm a magical fairy who floated into your office 368 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:58,637 to bring a little bit of magic into your lives, to give you all raises. 369 00:18:58,845 --> 00:19:00,472 And we are grateful. 370 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:03,767 But here's the thing about tinker bell, Jim, 371 00:19:03,850 --> 00:19:08,063 everyone has to believe in her or she doesn't exist. 372 00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,898 Jim: And then she dies. She dies. 373 00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:15,779 Now who here believes in tinker bell? 374 00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:18,156 Let's see it. Show of hands! I do. 375 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:22,661 Kevin: Come on, everyone! 376 00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,037 All right, guys, stop! 377 00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,998 Iaheadyspentthernoney how? 378 00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:28,500 Come on, Jim, you're killing her! 379 00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:29,626 Darryl: We believe! 380 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,045 We believe! 381 00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,258 Look at this wonderful recognition 382 00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:38,719 of Nellie's leadership. Ibeheve! 383 00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:48,895 That did not go how I wanted it to. 384 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:55,193 I have a whole ton of Erin's favorite food for the drive back. 385 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:56,903 Eggplant parm! 386 00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:02,909 It's biodegradable. Animals will eat it. 387 00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:06,747 Erin: Andy, wait! Andy! 388 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,207 Andy, wait! Andy, don't go! 389 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,917 Andy, I love you! Stop! 390 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,880 Oh. This is the wrong prius. I don't love you. 391 00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:16,256 I'm sorry. Erin! 392 00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:20,510 Andy. 393 00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:36,485 Let's get out of here. 394 00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:37,568 Okay. Let's go. 395 00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,331 Wait, we have to go back and get your stuff. 396 00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:40,423 No, I don't have any stuff. 397 00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,367 Like your toothbrush and stuff. I don't have one. 398 00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:44,284 You don't have a toothbrush? No. 399 00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:48,205 How do you not have a toothbrush? 400 00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:50,040 I just, there's always one around. 401 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:51,267 You just use whichever one is sitting there? 402 00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:52,291 I always find one. 403 00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:54,014 Have you ever heard of buying a toothbrush? 404 00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:56,838 Of course, I own my toothbrush. 405 00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:03,387 Nellie: I grew up poor. I had little formal education, no real skills. 406 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,722 I don't work especially hard 407 00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:09,393 and most of my ideas are either unoriginal or total crap. 408 00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:12,562 And yet, I walked right into a job 409 00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:15,440 for which I was ill-prepared, ill-suited, 410 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:19,069 and somebody else already had, and I got it. 411 00:21:19,986 --> 00:21:23,281 If you ask me, that's the American dream right there. 412 00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:26,201 Anything can happen to anyone. 413 00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:28,995 It's just random.