1 00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:03,253 Ryan: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 2 00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:07,132 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 3 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:10,552 Okay, fine. 4 00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:13,013 Ryan, is something the matter? Yeah. 5 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,849 Smokey's dead. 6 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:18,393 Smokey the bear? 7 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,062 Smokey Robinson, Pam. 8 00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:21,647 He died like an hour ago. 9 00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:22,930 I guess I'm the first to know. 10 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,692 Wow, that's terrible. I really liked him. 11 00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:27,778 Oh, you liked him? That's nice. 12 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:31,198 Did you like when he changed the course of American music, like, two or three times? 13 00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,283 Did you like that tracks of my tears 14 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,869 is maybe the last true love song ever written? 15 00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,371 I'm glad you like him, Jim. 16 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,456 I am completely devastated right now. 17 00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:42,417 Huh? Vveh, isecond that emotion. 18 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,836 I know a few of his songs, but what were his big ones? 19 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,256 Oh, god, Nellie. What wasn't his? 20 00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,216 I mean, tracks of my tears. 21 00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:50,717 Yeah. 22 00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,052 God, so many, Nellie. 23 00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,554 No, no, no. 24 00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:55,472 Tracks of my tears and what else? 25 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,891 What are some more? What's one more? 26 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:02,312 Okay, I'm not I'm not playing this game, Pam. Not today. 27 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,356 I don't think you love smokey Robinson. 28 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:07,568 I think you're just doing all of this to prove how deep you are about music. 29 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:11,363 Okay, I'm sorry that I'm not a fan of Jason mraz or the Beatles. 30 00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:12,614 You don't like the Beatles? 31 00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:13,907 That's not the point. 32 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:15,784 Eleanor rigby? Paperback writer? 33 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:18,304 You always think you have time to see these legends before they go. 34 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,621 What was I so busy doing? 35 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:22,874 It says here the smokey Robinson dead thing is a hoax. 36 00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:24,668 It's on CNN as of two minutes ago. 37 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,420 (Sigh of relief) 38 00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:28,505 Okay, well. That's a relief. 39 00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:30,048 Wow, look at that. 40 00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:32,217 Says he's actually playing state college. 41 00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:33,510 That's only three hours away. 42 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,847 Oh, my god, Ryan, that's perfect. 43 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,056 You have to go. 44 00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,683 Tickets are 250 bucks. 45 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:44,187 $250 is nothing to the world's biggest smokey Robinson fan. 46 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:46,481 Yeah. 47 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,568 Who's opening? Paul anka. 48 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:50,986 Paul anka? 49 00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:54,615 How can they make the smoke man play with someone like that? 50 00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,450 I don't think I can see this. 51 00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,094 Okay, you could just show up late, though. 52 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,512 How much is parking, like, 30 bucks? 53 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,455 That's not what smokey would have wanted. 54 00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:02,956 Does want. 55 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,459 Tears of a clown. Don't call me a clown, Pam. 56 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:06,877 You're better than that. 57 00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,322 Looking good, rc. 58 00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,823 I hate ties. 59 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,742 I feel like I'm being strangled, 60 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:43,330 like I'm at some erotic asphyxiation sex club over on i-84. 61 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,248 The red room, say, or Dominick's. 62 00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:48,168 Robert, the senator was going to wear dark brown tonight. 63 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:51,588 I'm sure it'll be fine. 64 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:55,842 My husband is sponsoring a fundraiser tonight for local dog shelters. 65 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:59,054 Robert California bought two tables for everyone here. 66 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:00,722 These people were lucky to get seats 67 00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:04,643 because it is going to be a who's who of the northern 22nd district. 68 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,122 I don't want to alarm people, 69 00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:10,982 but there is a distinct chance that we're all about to be killed. 70 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,710 Well, as long as you don't want to alarm people. 71 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:15,320 What's going on? There's a disgruntled ex-emponee 72 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,155 sitting in his car in the parking lot. 73 00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:18,782 Oh, that's Andy. He's just hanging out. 74 00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:21,034 That's how workplace tragedies always begin. 75 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:23,870 A middle-aged white male "hanging out." 76 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:24,996 Call the cops. 77 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,849 Dwight, I don't think he's going to hurt anybody. 78 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,935 How do you know? I mean, why do you think he's there? 79 00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:30,603 I don't even know what kind of weapon he has. 80 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,295 Could be a knife, could be a gun. 81 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,965 Could be a series of guns, all lined up to shoot parallel. 82 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,508 I'm going up to the roof. 83 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,136 I'm going to bring my gym bag just in case. 84 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:41,263 I knew this would happen. 85 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:45,308 Everybody told me if I moved to america, I'd be murdered. 86 00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:53,567 Hey. Hey. 87 00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:56,820 Just wanted to say hi and hear you say everything's normal. 88 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,698 Maybe videotape you saying that so that everyone upstairs can see? 89 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,492 We think you might kill Robert. 90 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:03,618 What? 91 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:07,748 Because he fired you, which means apparently you're living in your car now. 92 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,416 Guys, everything is fine. 93 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,899 I'm just here to pick up Erin. We're going to the fundraiser. 94 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,128 Great. That sounds good. 95 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:14,254 Wait, what? 96 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:16,256 You're going to the fundraiser tonight? 97 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,424 That's going to be weird. 98 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:18,967 Why would that be weird? 99 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:20,343 It's going to be super weird. 100 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,262 He just fired you last week. 101 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,306 Andy's just coming as my date. 102 00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,767 Hey, I hear you. I hope you're right. 103 00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:30,854 It just seems like it's going to be really, really weird. 104 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:33,482 (Knock at door) Come in. 105 00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,068 You really redid Andy's office, huh? 106 00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:38,779 Yes, cut out the clutter. 107 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,906 Very simple, very minimal. 108 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:43,867 I need you to sign these. We got a shipment going out. 109 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,328 How are things in the warehouse? 110 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,079 You could go downstairs and ask them. 111 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,874 The warehouse isn't downstairs. 112 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:53,794 Is it? 113 00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:55,378 Is it? 114 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,380 Who knew, right? 115 00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:00,842 (Groans) 116 00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,470 Tonight could be the night that Darryl and I 117 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:07,724 go from casual work friends to actual good friends. 118 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:13,396 The only thing standing in our way is the contempt he seems to feel for me. 119 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,294 Robert, the senator and I wanted to stop by. 120 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,778 Heho.robefl. Robert, how are you? 121 00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,279 And say hello. Andy: Hello. 122 00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:24,282 Did anyone order a blast from the past with a side order of sexy? 123 00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:25,367 (All greeting Andy) 124 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,702 Hi, Andy. Oh, man, this is weird. 125 00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:28,995 Andrew. 126 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,706 Want to shake my hand, huh? 127 00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:35,043 Because I want to shake your body. 128 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,294 (Andy laughing) 129 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,089 I had you, I had you. 130 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,715 Where... where do I look? 131 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:43,635 It's been so long since I did one of these things. 132 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,095 Okay, all right. 133 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,722 What's the question? How am I doing? Umm... 134 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,766 Great. 135 00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,187 So, how's the talent? 136 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,940 Grey suit over there is sending a signal. 137 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,109 Downstairs is receiving. 138 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:02,821 Is that Gabe? 139 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,489 Ladies. 140 00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:07,868 How come you look so decent all of a sudden? 141 00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,411 Yeah, normally you look so stricken. 142 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:11,705 Well, I'm embarrassed. 143 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,665 I had to give up my hair gel 144 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,001 because it was giving me this angry rash on my scalp. 145 00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,587 And I just gave up on this low-protein diet 146 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,964 that I was doing for eight years, so... 147 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:25,218 Ladies seem to like it, plus I'm getting, like, half as many bladder infections. 148 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:26,970 Yeah. Wow. 149 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:29,264 Wow. You ladies look very pretty as well. 150 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,058 Thanks. Why is it that things are 151 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,311 their most beautiful in the Autumn of their lives? 152 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,356 You had to say that. 153 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,525 Sorry. Sorry. Thanks. 154 00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:41,651 Phyllis: Yeah. 155 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:45,906 Creed, I just bid $20 on sixjujitsu lessons. 156 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,074 No one's raping this guy. 157 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,743 Well, I don't want to get raped. 158 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,996 No, it was my idea to not be raped. Oh, well. 159 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:56,082 Wait, you think that jujitsu classes cost $22? 160 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,476 If you're going to play guess the price, 161 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,300 you might as well try and be halfway accurate. 162 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:00,795 $180. 163 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,130 Whoa. 164 00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:03,608 Dwight, I don't think you understand. 165 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,759 You guess the price, you win the prize. 166 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:08,762 Have you never been to a quaker fair before? 167 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,181 Dwight: God. 168 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:15,393 So, Dwight doesn't understand silent aucfions. 169 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:20,148 I guess he's the stupid guy in the office. Huh? 170 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:24,110 Because up until now we didn't have one. 171 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:25,695 What haven't I been doing? 172 00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:28,633 Gosh, just today I was working on this rock opera that I'm writing, 173 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:31,201 although it feels more like I'm receiving it than writing it. 174 00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:33,620 Wow, that's exciting. 175 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:36,807 But until you firm up the idea, you might want to keep it between us. 176 00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:39,417 The hero lives in this dystopian future 177 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:43,588 and he flies around in a spaceship that's shaped like a treble clef. 178 00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,424 And he has to sing his heart out to destroy all evil. 179 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:48,319 Sounds like you're doing all right. 180 00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:50,595 A little better than all right, actually. 181 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:52,806 Really good. 182 00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,742 Have you thought about getting into photography? 183 00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,851 Are you kidding me? 'Cause I'm way into it. 184 00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,645 What are you taking pictures of? 185 00:07:58,728 --> 00:07:59,771 Children? Yes. 186 00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:00,981 Homeless people? Yes. 187 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,649 'Cause in a way, they're more real... 188 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,484 Than the rest of us! The rest of us! 189 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,028 This guy's having a breakdown. 190 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:10,573 You know, Oscar, I really had no idea that you were so passionate about animals. 191 00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,367 My dog, Gerald, isrnylwe. Really? 192 00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,202 Well, if you want to get involved, call me. 193 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,204 This is my cell. 194 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:20,291 I'm more likely to pick up at night, say, 195 00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,253 after 9:00. 196 00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:26,214 Excuse me. 197 00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,008 This confirms three things. 198 00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:32,137 I'm right about the senator, I still got it, and poor Angela. 199 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,889 I wonder where they got the flowers. 200 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:36,975 That piece is so predictable. 201 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,519 Daffodils in spring, I wonder what's next, 202 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:40,603 mistletoe at Christmas? 203 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:42,605 Yeah. 204 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,983 Oh! It says, "you're welcome to take this home." 205 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:50,572 Sweetie, you don't want that. Even in your house, it's a little much. 206 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,175 Have you ever been to our house? 207 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,285 Not exactly, but I know the flats. 208 00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,330 I'm going to say what everyone is afraid to say. 209 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,499 Phyllis is a bully. 210 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,627 A big, beautiful bully. 211 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,338 And she is not getting that centerpiece. 212 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,508 Step in right away and start... 213 00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,177 Bobby, bobbo. 214 00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:13,917 You're a rock opera guy, right? 215 00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:15,513 You like rock operas. Well... 216 00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:17,116 You've got to check out this thing I'm working on. 217 00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,141 It's really cool. 218 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,851 There's this character, Thomas Oregon, 219 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,896 and he wants to destroy all the guitars in the world 220 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:28,151 because he realizes that music is the one thing he can't control. 221 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,946 So, Thomas Oregon is an evil figure. 222 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,239 Evil. 223 00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:34,324 (Chuckles to himself) 224 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,117 Although he's humanized at the end 225 00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:39,537 because he weeps uncontrollably and pees in his pants. 226 00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:42,123 And the hero, who is that based on? 227 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,042 Me, I guess. 228 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:48,254 (Singing) We're flying so high we 're cracking the sky 229 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:52,592 going to fly out of this dome my girlfriend and I 230 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:54,010 (high pitched singing) 231 00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:57,680 Hey, jabroni, show some class. 232 00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,933 She's right, Andy. You're being a jabroni. 233 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,434 You're being a Thomas Oregon. 234 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,603 Andrew, 235 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,774 I think this may have been a bad idea. 236 00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,944 Why don't you let me pay for you and Erin 237 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,947 to go out to a great, romantic dinner tonight? 238 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,699 Don't need you to pay for me. I'm doing just fine, thank you. 239 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,577 Why don't you quit harshing our mellow? 240 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:22,247 Andy, you should leave. 241 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,373 Now. 242 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,626 Excuse me, 243 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:30,213 I would like to purchase two seats at another table, please. 244 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,298 I'm sorry. The tables are sold as complete units. 245 00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,634 Then I'll take a table. 246 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:35,718 Okay. 247 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,387 And a high five. 248 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,348 Let's do that again. 249 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,395 Well, I just give a dollar to every charity. 250 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,331 That way, you get all the mail, all the calendars. 251 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:49,732 You can't believe how much you get just for a buck. 252 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,694 It's also nice to know you're making a difference. 253 00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:54,779 Jim and I give to the red cross. 254 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,865 Are you sure you ought to be giving? 255 00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:59,159 I mean, with your financial situation... 256 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:00,743 Excuse me? 257 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:06,332 You ladies are as tangy as the salad dressing over there. I love it. 258 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:08,877 Oh, yes indeed. 259 00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,171 When. 260 00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,716 Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 261 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,593 Forgot a few salads. 262 00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:22,515 When. 263 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:28,855 When. 264 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:33,776 I stumbled into a very dramatic situation. 265 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,446 Here, let me move this so you can see him. 266 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,531 Oscar: Pam. 267 00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,409 Pam. Yeah. 268 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,620 Angela's husband just hit on me. 269 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,456 Oh, my god. I know. 270 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,665 Wait, what? Come on. 271 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:50,043 We were talking about animals. 272 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,837 He gives me his cell phone number. 273 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,273 He was just dying for me to have it. 274 00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:57,634 Okay, Oscar, I'm not saying you're not dreamy, because you are, 275 00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,511 but isn't it possible that he was just schmoozing a voter? 276 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,431 Well, if you would have seen the look he gave me. 277 00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:05,141 He wanted to rock more than just my vote. 278 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,309 Okay. 279 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,602 What was this look? 280 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:11,439 Whoa! 281 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,233 What happened? Did he do it? Are you... 282 00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,151 Twice. For real? 283 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,570 Okay, guys. Not every glance means something, all right? 284 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:18,655 Life isn't downton Abbey. 285 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,031 Life is downton Abbey. 286 00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:21,217 Jim: Here's what I'm going to do. 287 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,676 I'm going to go over there, I'm going to talk to him. 288 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,100 And I guarantee you he gives out his cell phone to everybody. 289 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:38,132 How much do you guys charge for one full-year gym membership? 290 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,094 Thank you. 291 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,598 It's $475. 292 00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,269 Like candy from a baby. 293 00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:57,110 That's the third time you've asked me about my strategy. 294 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,904 It's called "guess the price," strategy's in the name. 295 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,782 Simplest game since "touch the rock." 296 00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:05,243 Three-time champion. 297 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,787 Almost four, but I touched the wood. 298 00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:11,916 Hey. 299 00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:15,628 David Wallace? Andy Bernard? 300 00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,588 Hey, how are you? How you doing? I'm great. 301 00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:19,400 How are you doing? Are you still with dunder Mifflin? 302 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,967 No, got canned last week. 303 00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:22,760 Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. 304 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,363 No, best thing that ever happened to me. 305 00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:25,513 That's the attitude to have. 306 00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:28,141 You know what? When I got canned, I was lost, right? 307 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:32,061 I poured myself into this ridiculous vacuum for toys called suck it. 308 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,355 Yikes. Yeah, exactly, right? 309 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:35,541 Then suddenly out of nowhere, 310 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:39,068 the us military bought the patent from me for $20 million. 311 00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,821 Point is, forget those guys. 312 00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:42,947 Okay? Move on. 313 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,032 (Chuckles) 314 00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:45,491 Good to see you, Andy. 315 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:46,743 (Chuckling nervously) 316 00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:54,417 Call me a lay man, but I wish there was some real food here. 317 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,836 You know, like hamburgers 318 00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:01,841 or oreos, or a pizza pie, or... 319 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,595 What's another food that we like? Tacos. 320 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:10,641 What I wouldn't give for a big mess of tacos. 321 00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:11,976 Tacos. Right now. 322 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:13,686 I can go get us some tacos. 323 00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:14,854 Brilliant. 324 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,397 If you loan me some money. 325 00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:18,232 Yes, I can do that. 326 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:23,780 For two tacos we probably need about, 327 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:28,326 what, $20? Or $25? 20... 328 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:29,702 $30. 329 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,496 Yes, yes. 330 00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:33,581 I've never eaten a taco. 331 00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:35,708 I'm not entirely sure what they are. 332 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:40,129 As long as they're not slimy, and please, god, don't let them have eyes. 333 00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:45,927 Boom. 334 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:49,806 This is interesting. 335 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,183 Mm-hmm. What is interesting? 336 00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,386 I just proved that he gives his cell out to everybody. 337 00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,438 Or you proved that he thinks you're gay. 338 00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:58,898 He doesn't think Jim is gay. 339 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,751 A gay man would not leave the house wearing those shoes. 340 00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:03,027 A gay man wouldn't leave the store wearing those shoes. 341 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,321 Hey, you bought me these shoes. (Laughing) 342 00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:07,800 Wait a second, where's the centerpiece? 343 00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,105 I knew it was bothering you, so I threw it in the garbage. 344 00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,912 Really, Phyllis? You didn't just put it in your car? 345 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:13,996 Nope. 346 00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,124 Which garbage? It's not there anymore. 347 00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:18,584 A man emptied the garbage into a bigger garbage 348 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,988 and then I heard someone say they were locking the garbage. 349 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:22,797 You are out of control, Phyllis. 350 00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:26,342 Come on, sweetie. We both knew how this was gonna end. 351 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,515 Joyce: Before we bring out our guest of honor tonight, 352 00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:37,770 we are very proud to introduce a great philanthropist, and a great guy, 353 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,772 Robert California. 354 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:46,821 Robert: Thank you. 355 00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,990 Why do we love dogs? 356 00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:51,617 Want me to tell you why? 357 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,327 There is no answer. 358 00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:56,914 Our love for them confounds reason. 359 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:58,916 Do you believe this guy? 360 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,878 The state senator Robert lipton loves dogs. 361 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,714 He asked me if I loved dogs. 362 00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,300 You know what I said? 363 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,426 Yes. 364 00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:09,844 (Tepid laughter) 365 00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,430 Not a joke. That, that was not even a joke. 366 00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:15,933 Bella here was a therapy dog for 10 years. 367 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:20,646 When her owner passed away, she came to this organization for placement. 368 00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:24,233 But people don't often adopt older dogs. 369 00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:29,155 So Bella and 11 heroes like her 370 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:33,659 are being cared for by our generous volunteers 371 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:35,786 because, frankly, nobody else will. 372 00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,289 I will. 373 00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:42,084 I will take all of those dogs. 374 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:43,920 Andy, that's very kind, but... 375 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:48,007 No, no, no. This guy can talk and talk all he wants, 376 00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,800 but it's not that complicated. 377 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,428 Andy, why don't we discuss this... no, no, no. It's about 378 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:56,974 being there for someone after it's become inconvenient for them to be around. 379 00:16:57,308 --> 00:16:59,101 Hello, everyone. I'm Andy Bernard 380 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:03,105 and I am going to take that bitch home. 381 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,273 (Crowd gasping) 382 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,568 That is a female dog reference. 383 00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,488 This bitch understands onalty. 384 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,031 Sassy human reference. 385 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,617 Thank you. I will take Bella. 386 00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:18,412 And every single one of her friends. 387 00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:19,747 Oh, god. 388 00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:23,876 This way. 389 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,003 Hope you all learned something. Okay. 390 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:31,217 Huey's going to need his medication once every 90 minutes. 391 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,237 You can administer it orally, but he's going to puke it up. 392 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,679 So other end's best. 393 00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:38,182 Don't split up Daisy and mojo, because Daisy will start to... 394 00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:40,893 I was going to say bark, but it's more of a scream. 395 00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:43,854 I'm so ready to love all of these animals. 396 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,524 This one's even bonding with me already. 397 00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:48,359 I know. Kenny's a therapy dog. 398 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:50,842 He apparently thinks you're in some kind of emotional crisis. 399 00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,154 (Scoffs) 400 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,615 Stupid dog. 401 00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:58,494 If you would like to talk about this some more, my door is always open. 402 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,163 So here's my office number and my cell number. 403 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,873 Thank you. Okay. 404 00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,269 Well, it looks like he really did just want 405 00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:07,003 to talk about the issues. I'm sorry, Oscar. 406 00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:10,256 No, sorry about what? There's nothing to be sorry about here. 407 00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:15,136 No, I'm certainly not disappointed that Angela's husband wasn't hitting on me. 408 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,847 I'd have to be a monster to root for that. 409 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,016 A lonely, aging monster. 410 00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:23,185 Tacos were on sale. 411 00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:24,854 Eight for $3. 412 00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:27,690 Oh, great. 413 00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,109 Okay. 414 00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,653 Oh. Oh. Oh... 415 00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,238 These tacos. 416 00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:35,865 Mm-hmm. Mmm... 417 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:46,959 Mmm. 418 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,420 Mmm. Oh! 419 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,380 Huh. 420 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,382 Mmm. 421 00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:56,636 Well, that's hit the spot. 422 00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,430 Very savory. 423 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,475 What do you do with the crispy holder? 424 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,518 Here, let's try this again. 425 00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,145 Here, don't put your finger in... 426 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,914 Yeah, just hold it like that. Hold it to the side. 427 00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:09,857 Right. Hold it to the side. 428 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:12,068 Lean it to the side. Look at me, like this. 429 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,403 She's trying. 430 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:18,741 The winner of the three-day trip to the skytop lodge 431 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,826 is Dwight schrute! 432 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:21,952 Yes! 433 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:30,211 The year-long membership to Scranton bikram yoga is... 434 00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:31,837 Dwight schrute! 435 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,255 Oh, yes! 436 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,216 Dwight: Yeah! 437 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:42,640 A one hour appointment with the "kissing magician" goes to Dwight schrute. 438 00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:45,726 Oh, yeah! 439 00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:50,106 Well, I think I can save us all some time. 440 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:53,943 Dwight schrute has won every single item here. 441 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,486 Thank you very much! 442 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:59,281 All I had to do was look up the prices, idiots. Suck it! 443 00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:03,327 Well, Dwight, yes, you certainly are a record breaker. 444 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:07,123 Your donation is the largest we've ever received 445 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,835 at over $34,000. 446 00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:18,676 Speech! 447 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:20,678 Speech! 448 00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,805 Come on. Speech, speech! 449 00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:27,184 (Audience cheering) 450 00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,486 Thank you. 451 00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:38,654 (Exhales deeply) 452 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,157 Wow, I can't tell you 453 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,870 what an honor it is to support this 454 00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:48,664 thing. 455 00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:53,294 And obviously that amount of money is no concern to me whatsoever. 456 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,549 But I want to ask you something. 457 00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:02,845 When did it become all about the money? 458 00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:07,683 When did it become about the flower arrangements? 459 00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:10,144 And the white wine spritzers? 460 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,481 And all the dinner rolls? 461 00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:15,441 You people should be ashamed of yourselves. 462 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:18,027 How many courses did we have tonight? 463 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,362 Two? Three, maybe? 464 00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,573 If you chose the pudding. 465 00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:27,870 I mean, what waste. These tables tarted up like victorian whores. 466 00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:30,206 Let's remember we are all here 467 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,293 for the dog society. 468 00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:37,379 He's what's important, whatever his name is. 469 00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:39,465 Not any of this. 470 00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:43,636 So that is going to be my donation to you. 471 00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:45,387 Thank you and good night. 472 00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:46,472 Whoa! 473 00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:48,390 Joyce: Uh... 474 00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:55,439 Oscar. Nice to see you again. 475 00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:57,316 It was lovely. It was lovely. 476 00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:59,735 And don't forget to call. Okay. 477 00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,907 Senator: Thanks so much for coming. 478 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:07,409 Why does this always happen to me? Ahh! 479 00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:10,871 I just feel so bad for Angela. 480 00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:15,084 Apparently, there were some silly rumors going around tonight. 481 00:22:15,918 --> 00:22:17,586 We are very much in love. 482 00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,923 Very much in love. 483 00:22:22,383 --> 00:22:25,094 So it just goes on under here like this? 484 00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:26,595 That's right. (Gasps) 485 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,848 Oh, god. Yeah, you never get used to that. 486 00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:31,475 Hey, just wanted to check in to see how you're doing. 487 00:22:31,559 --> 00:22:32,935 I am so great. 488 00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:35,479 He's great. We're all great. 489 00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:36,856 Twelve dogs. 490 00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:39,692 This is my life now. I'm a dog nurse. 491 00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,694 Look at that one, though. He's smiling. 492 00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:44,238 Yeah, he should be. It's his first day without a muzzle. 493 00:22:45,072 --> 00:22:48,409 This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. 494 00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:50,327 Absolutely, it's... yes. 495 00:22:50,411 --> 00:22:51,495 Awesome. I'm sorry. 496 00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:52,955 Are you guys nuts? 497 00:22:53,455 --> 00:22:54,498 He's not doing great. 498 00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:55,958 He was fired. 499 00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:57,251 This is terrible. 500 00:22:57,751 --> 00:23:01,046 This is literally the worst thing that has ever happened to you. 501 00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:02,298 Not the best. 502 00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:09,972 You're right. 503 00:23:10,306 --> 00:23:11,807 He's right. I am a mess. 504 00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:14,411 This whole night I've been trying to convince you guys that I'm fine. 505 00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:18,814 I guess I thought that if I could convince you that I'm fine, maybe... 506 00:23:18,898 --> 00:23:20,524 Maybe you would think it, too. 507 00:23:24,445 --> 00:23:27,448 I'm sorry, it's just, I... 508 00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:31,368 I don't get to be in a lot of human conversations, so... 509 00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:34,747 Okay. Well, Andy, listen, it's okay if you don't feel totally settled. 510 00:23:34,830 --> 00:23:36,165 This is all very fresh. 511 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,560 Yeah, I mean, admitting that you need help is the first step. 512 00:23:38,584 --> 00:23:42,004 Yes, and also focusing on the positive. 513 00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:44,506 Like, I got a lot of good things going on. 514 00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:47,092 Yeah, like that rock opera. 515 00:23:47,176 --> 00:23:48,552 You could always do that, right? 516 00:23:48,636 --> 00:23:50,304 Yeah, I do. I have that. 517 00:23:51,513 --> 00:23:52,513 Yeah. 518 00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:53,716 You're going to be all right. 519 00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:55,643 No. No, he's not. 520 00:23:56,310 --> 00:23:57,436 Yes, I am. 521 00:23:57,519 --> 00:23:59,647 Thank you, kev. You're welcome. 522 00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:04,026 Sometimes I feel like everyone I work with is an idiot. 523 00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:07,321 And by sometimes, I mean all times. 524 00:24:08,197 --> 00:24:09,657 All the times. 525 00:24:10,866 --> 00:24:12,534 Every of the time. 526 00:24:15,329 --> 00:24:17,748 So, some of us ended up adopting those elderly dogs. 527 00:24:17,831 --> 00:24:18,832 It's been great. 528 00:24:18,916 --> 00:24:21,794 Pepper's been getting me out of the house. Going on runs. 529 00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:24,380 My dog Ruby doesn't do anything. 530 00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,298 She just lays there all day. 531 00:24:26,382 --> 00:24:27,883 She's so chill. 532 00:24:28,175 --> 00:24:29,468 What do you feed her? 533 00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:32,638 Well, I put out pro bow wow, but she barely touches it. 534 00:24:32,721 --> 00:24:34,098 She's so dainty. 535 00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:35,474 Darryl: Is she sick? 536 00:24:35,557 --> 00:24:37,017 How are her poops? 537 00:24:37,101 --> 00:24:38,268 Doesn't really poop. 538 00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:39,895 It's perfect. 539 00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:41,313 Nothing to pick up. 540 00:24:41,397 --> 00:24:44,066 She just kind of lies there all day like a good girl. 541 00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:46,151 I put on the TV for her, 542 00:24:46,235 --> 00:24:49,530 but I have to prop her eyes open so she can see it. 543 00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:50,781 Does she smell? 544 00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:52,408 She smells horrible. 545 00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:53,742 It's unbelievable. 546 00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:55,995 But I don't want to put her in the bath. 547 00:24:56,078 --> 00:24:58,288 'Cause I'm afraid that she'll drown. 548 00:25:00,374 --> 00:25:03,210 People seem awful interested in you, Ruby. 549 00:25:03,794 --> 00:25:06,338 Guess they're just jealous, right? 550 00:25:06,422 --> 00:25:08,257 Yeah, that a girl. 551 00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:09,758 That a girl. 552 00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:11,093 Man, that stinks.