1 00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:03,671 All right, everybody, great season of softball. 2 00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:05,131 I'm super proud of you guys, 3 00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:07,049 and I think you're going to like this 4 00:00:07,133 --> 00:00:08,926 little highlight reel that I've put together. 5 00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:11,304 G rou p: Dunder Mifflin! 6 00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:12,930 An dy: Andy Bernard presents, 7 00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:15,266 "summer softball epic fails!" 8 00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:17,435 (Farts) Andy: Fail. 9 00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:18,978 (Farts) 10 00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:20,229 Andy: Fail! That's me! 11 00:00:20,313 --> 00:00:21,355 (Farts) 12 00:00:21,439 --> 00:00:22,940 Fail. Is this like a blooper reel? 13 00:00:23,107 --> 00:00:25,568 A blooper reel? What is this, 2005? 14 00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:28,237 Do I look like Bob saget? Fail! 15 00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:31,073 Who's this guy? 16 00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,534 J“ meow, meow, meow, meow. 17 00:00:33,826 --> 00:00:35,203 Look at him dance! 18 00:00:35,286 --> 00:00:36,871 Fail! Fail. 19 00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:38,581 I deserved that. 20 00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:40,041 (Andy singing) Do-Dee-do-Dee-do 21 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,376 that was a triple. 22 00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:45,254 Can't take the fail? Get out of the fail video! 23 00:00:45,338 --> 00:00:46,380 My pleasure. 24 00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:50,301 Andy: (In squeaky voice) Hi, I'm Pete! Puberty is such a drag, man. 25 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:54,722 And I'm Clark, I like to eat toilet paper. We fail! 26 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,694 I'd like to take a solemn moment to remember 27 00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,228 Jerry in the warehouse, 28 00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:02,355 who passed away this year. (Farting) 29 00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:08,110 Well, that's all, folks! 30 00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:12,990 Ski you later, everybody! Thanks for a great season. (Scattered applause) 31 00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:16,494 What was that? That was just normal video with you making vulgar noises. 32 00:01:16,786 --> 00:01:18,412 Well, I worked with what I had, Oscar. 33 00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:21,874 Next time do more fail-ier stuff, okay? 34 00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:24,043 What happened to that video I sent you? 35 00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:27,463 Oh, that wasn't... that didn't work. That was not the right... 36 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,548 All: (Mumbling) I think I've got it right here. 37 00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:32,343 (Cheering) 38 00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:39,642 All: Oh! 39 00:01:39,809 --> 00:01:41,352 (All laughing) 40 00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:44,438 That was not a tail! 41 00:01:44,522 --> 00:01:45,540 All: (Chanting) Fail! Fail! Fail! 42 00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:46,708 That was actually a serious accident 43 00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:48,572 that could have resulted in severe bodily harm. 44 00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:50,379 All: Fail! Fail! Fail! You're all failing right now. 45 00:01:50,403 --> 00:01:54,198 Congratulations on your epic tail of the use of the word "fail!" 46 00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:05,209 (Beeping) 47 00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:07,211 Oh, god. 48 00:02:09,714 --> 00:02:10,756 What's going on? 49 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,091 Nothing! Nothing is going on. 50 00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:13,902 Keep moving, please. What's he measuring? 51 00:02:13,926 --> 00:02:16,387 Okay, excuse me, I am the landlord. 52 00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:18,931 This is between me and the management, no one else. Please. 53 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,976 It's an emf hotspot. (Gasps) Oh, my god! 54 00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:23,578 It stands for electromagnetic field, 55 00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:25,271 generally caused by a concentration 56 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,897 of wiring in one area, 57 00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:30,109 especially if poorly insulated, Dwight. 58 00:02:31,736 --> 00:02:33,738 Okay, I'm just walking in to this. 59 00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:36,741 Am I to understand there's a beehive in the wall? 60 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,535 You think I have a machine for measuring beehives? 61 00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:41,412 I was just asking a question, Toby. 62 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,895 How are you not murdered every hour? 63 00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:46,334 Well, I'm not getting paid to work in a microwave oven. 64 00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:49,628 Okay, listen. Everything here is up to code. 65 00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:52,214 "Oh, the wires need insulation." 66 00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:55,593 It's a wire, people. I'm not buying it a fur coat. 67 00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:02,099 Thank you. Yougotw 68 00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:06,270 Jim: Last week, I finally told Pam about the other job I took in Philly, 69 00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:10,691 the side job, and she was so incredibly cool about it. 70 00:03:11,317 --> 00:03:13,944 And now I just want to do something huge for her. 71 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,114 Like if we were in some biker bar 72 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:19,033 and she mouthed off to some bikers 73 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,869 and they came lumbering over and I was like... wham! 74 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,954 "You've got to go through me first!" 75 00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:32,421 (Knocking on door) 76 00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:34,492 Andy, could I have a word, please? 77 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,884 It won't take a moment, it's extremely important, 78 00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:39,261 and it really has to happen now. 79 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,806 Fine. I will give you one minute. 80 00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:43,474 Oh, please don't use the hourglass. 81 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,684 You have one minute and your minute has begun, 82 00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,770 and no time will be added at the end, 83 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,647 even to accommodate this sentence, 84 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,441 with all of its baroque dependent clauses 85 00:03:52,525 --> 00:03:56,153 and cascading turns of phrase. 86 00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:58,572 I'm trying to adopt a baby. 87 00:03:58,656 --> 00:03:59,824 A baby what? 88 00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,033 A human? 89 00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:05,663 And the agency requires a character reference from my employer. 90 00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:09,476 You wouldn't have to do anything. I'd write the letter myself. 91 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:10,960 You'd just simply sign it. So... 92 00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:12,670 Okay. 93 00:04:12,795 --> 00:04:16,799 And fall right into your plagiarism entrapment scheme? 94 00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,843 I don't think so. It's... no, it's... 95 00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:21,679 And I happen to notice you're down to about 30 seconds here. 96 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:22,906 If I could just convince you that you... 97 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,056 And those sand grains are 98 00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:25,975 tumbling with fury down the side... 99 00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:27,226 It's not entrapment 100 00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:28,811 if I'm writing... Of the hourglass. 101 00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,729 Time's up! Fine. 102 00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:33,691 Sure, I'll read her letter. 103 00:04:33,816 --> 00:04:36,986 And if she tells the truth about how evil and unfit 104 00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:39,738 to be a mother she is, then, yeah, I'll sign that. 105 00:04:40,573 --> 00:04:43,200 "Statistical correlations exist between emf 106 00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,661 "radiation and various health hazards, 107 00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:49,415 "but mainstream studies are inconclusive." 108 00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:52,042 That means you can't make me do squat. 109 00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:53,377 You better fix this! 110 00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:56,589 I already ditched my uterus, and I ain't losing any more good parts! 111 00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:58,150 You people don't realize what you're asking. 112 00:04:58,174 --> 00:04:59,842 I'd have to rip open the walls. 113 00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:02,094 We'd have to shut this place down for a week. 114 00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:05,264 A week off, that'd be great. 115 00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:08,893 (Typing) 116 00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:15,816 (Microwave beeps) 117 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,320 Hey, if you don't want to teach me the powerpoint, just say so. 118 00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:20,547 I don't want to teach you powerpoint. 119 00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:21,572 Come on. 120 00:05:21,739 --> 00:05:23,115 Just show me the powerpoint. 121 00:05:23,199 --> 00:05:24,199 Just do the tutorial! 122 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,284 You're the tutorial. 123 00:05:25,451 --> 00:05:27,703 No, dude, I'm not. I'm not the tutorial. 124 00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:29,371 You could be. Mmm-mmm. 125 00:05:29,455 --> 00:05:30,581 (Microwave dings) 126 00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:33,501 What are you doing? 127 00:05:33,584 --> 00:05:35,169 Getting my wife a week off from work. 128 00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:36,754 You popped one kernel. 129 00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:38,714 Awesome, right? 130 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:43,719 So creed is that dude's stepdad? 131 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:45,346 Correct. 132 00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:49,934 Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm just going to say it. 133 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,603 I'm nervous. I have no idea what 134 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,438 health problems this is all going to cause. 135 00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,899 (All clamoring) What? Come on. 136 00:05:57,316 --> 00:05:59,026 I'm sorry. I'm not growing a third arm. 137 00:05:59,235 --> 00:06:00,819 I know what Jim is trying to do. 138 00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:02,279 He's trying to get big bad Dwight 139 00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:03,822 to shell out for a huge repairjob 140 00:06:03,948 --> 00:06:06,075 while lucky jimbo gets a paid vacation. 141 00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:07,868 Well, sorry, lucky jimbo. 142 00:06:07,952 --> 00:06:10,204 I can live very happily in a magnetic field. 143 00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,915 Most of my childhood heroes got their powers that way. 144 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,377 "Side effects of emf include headaches." 145 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,711 Had them all my life. 146 00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:19,463 "Breast pain." 147 00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:21,757 No knobbies, no probbies. Nice try, Jim. 148 00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:23,467 Oof. "Infertility." 149 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,052 (Scoffs) 150 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:27,304 Yeah, right. 151 00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:38,274 There's my popcorn. Can you just grab that for me? 152 00:06:38,691 --> 00:06:40,943 Keep your snacks on your side, Jim, idiot. 153 00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:43,195 What the... what? 154 00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:47,259 Some of these kernels have crowned. 155 00:06:47,283 --> 00:06:50,327 That's impossible, becausethats a brand-new bag... 156 00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,706 Oh, my god. 157 00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:58,085 Andy! 158 00:07:02,131 --> 00:07:03,716 I'm going to drive you up to the lake. 159 00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:06,885 Give you a whole week on the water, just you, me and the kids. 160 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,929 Can we stop by that pie stand on the way? 161 00:07:09,013 --> 00:07:12,516 You mean Laverne's pies tires fixed also? Yes, we will be doing that. 162 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:13,726 We'll be getting a dozen. 163 00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:15,936 A dozen different pies? 'Cause that means rhubarb. 164 00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:18,439 Why would you say that? I meant four apple, four blueberry, 165 00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:21,191 two cherry, one peach, one chocolate. I thought that was implied. 166 00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,484 Yeah, okay, then. 167 00:07:22,693 --> 00:07:25,029 Ladies and gentlemen! I have heard your complaints 168 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,239 and we reached a settlement. 169 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:31,035 So, we will be leaving the office for one whole week. 170 00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:32,453 Nice job. 171 00:07:33,329 --> 00:07:35,122 In my contract it is stipulated 172 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:37,249 that I provide a temporary workspace. 173 00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:39,335 It will arrive in one hour. What? 174 00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,129 What's this? Whoa. What? 175 00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:43,380 Dwight: Bring it in. 176 00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:46,091 Roll into the future with work bus. 177 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,886 Say goodbye to wasteful buildings. 178 00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:52,181 These days a mobile office isn'tjust for hotshot politicians. 179 00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:54,308 Now anyone can rent a work bus. 180 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:58,103 If you've got a parking lot, a work space is just a phone call away. 181 00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:01,607 In this age of belt-tightening and less empowered workers, 182 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:05,110 a work bus is how tomorrow gets things done. 183 00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:09,657 They're a hundred pack... 184 00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,492 No six pack for me. (Shushing) 185 00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:12,868 (Both shushing) 186 00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:14,745 Six. Yes. 187 00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:15,954 (Screams) 188 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:17,373 Sorry. Oh, my god! 189 00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:20,209 Ah! Sorry. Lose weight! 190 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,211 I'm trying, sorry. 191 00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:29,551 Oh, the Pennsylvania department of public welfare pre-adoption standard. 192 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,929 Oh, of course, you were adopted. 193 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:36,850 (Laughs) I wish! No, I made some short lists, 194 00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:38,852 I had a couple of sleepovers, but I never 195 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,938 managed to get in the end zone. 196 00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,648 I don't know what it was. 197 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,984 Not loveable, maybe. (Laughs) Oh, well. 198 00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:48,171 Listen, I'm really struggling with this form. 199 00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:51,031 But as you know the system, do you think maybe you could... 200 00:08:51,115 --> 00:08:53,158 Absolutely. I know exactly what they want to hear. 201 00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:54,535 I would love to help. 202 00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:56,787 Oh, thank you so much! 203 00:08:57,413 --> 00:08:59,707 Just, don't tell Andy, because_. 204 00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:01,709 He hates me. Thinks I'm a monster. 205 00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,627 Should go back to Loch Ness. 206 00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:07,005 Stretch. All right. 207 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,384 How many times do you need to take a stroll? 208 00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:13,470 I... my legs cramp up, okay? It's a circulation issue. 209 00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,264 Boy, I will hammerspank your rear. 210 00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:17,850 All right, all right, gang. Let's just settle down. 211 00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:19,017 You're yelling in her face. 212 00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:20,310 It's a medical thing. 213 00:09:20,436 --> 00:09:21,770 Just... we good? 214 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,230 I'm good! All right? 215 00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:26,275 (Sighs) I'm so sorry for all of this. 216 00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:30,779 It's okay. You know what they say, a change is as good as a rest. 217 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,907 I need to get to the paper, please. 218 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:35,951 Oh, god! Oh! 219 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,953 Ah! Oh, my god! Are you okay? 220 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,139 All right, I'll get you a napkin. 221 00:09:39,163 --> 00:09:40,306 Can someone get napkins, please? 222 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:43,125 You know what? It's fine. It's fine. Let me just... it's fine. 223 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,169 Jim: Pam, I'm really sorry. I just... 224 00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,922 I'm... I'm really sorry about all that. 225 00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:53,844 Really? Smirking? 226 00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:56,764 What can I say? Ilovejusfice. 227 00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:58,767 You forced me to spend money on needless repairs. 228 00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,726 And now you're locked in a prison bus 229 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,770 and your woman drips with beverage. 230 00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:05,189 Hey, Dwight, I was trying to do something nice for Pam. 231 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,107 Can you just help me out? 232 00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:09,193 Can we maybe take this thing somewhere? 233 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,904 Or do something to not make this the worst day ever? 234 00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:14,323 It's not my responsibility to solve your marriage problems 235 00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:17,242 by spending my money on gas. 236 00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:20,454 Andy! 237 00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:22,831 Yo, toonces. 238 00:10:22,915 --> 00:10:24,058 You're the boss. Don't you think 239 00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:25,185 we'd all be a lot more productive 240 00:10:25,209 --> 00:10:27,544 if while we were doing work, we looked up and saw 241 00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:30,172 the best rural pie stand in Pennsylvania? 242 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,465 I know I'd be more productive. 243 00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:32,800 As would I. 244 00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:33,884 No question. 245 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,303 No, no, this is a work bus. 246 00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,222 The wheels are for transporting 247 00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:40,182 the work space to and from the work site. 248 00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:41,433 What are you talking about? 249 00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:43,727 You're not the boss. Andy is. Andy? 250 00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:48,607 All: (Chanting) Pies! Pies! Pies! Pies! Pies! Pies! 251 00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:52,402 All right! The fat people have spoken! 252 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:54,905 Dwight, get this bus moving. 253 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,990 (Cheering) 254 00:10:57,825 --> 00:11:01,245 Next stop, Laverne's pies tires fixed also! 255 00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:03,163 Oh, yes! 256 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,082 (All cheering) 257 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:11,463 So it looks like this work bus was a pretty good idea after all, huh? 258 00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,173 Get your foot behind the yellow line. 259 00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:14,758 You got it. 260 00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:28,981 Stop. Come back. 261 00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,315 Too late. Hmm. 262 00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:35,529 Shabooya roll call! Shabooya yaya, shabooya roll call! 263 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,197 My name is Pam yeah? 264 00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:38,866 I like to paint yeah? 265 00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:40,409 You think you're better? Yeah? 266 00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:41,493 Oh, no, you ain't! 267 00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:42,578 Roll call! 268 00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:45,706 Shabooya yaya shabooya roll call! 269 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:49,126 Shabooya yaya shabooya roll call! 270 00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,794 My name is Kevin yeah? 271 00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,379 That is my name yeah? 272 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:54,381 They call me Kevin yeah? 273 00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,507 'Cause that's my name 274 00:11:55,591 --> 00:11:56,592 roll call! 275 00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:59,887 Shabooya yaya shabooya roll call! 276 00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:03,307 Shabooya yaya shabooya roll call! 277 00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:15,193 Thanks. Playing a little hookey from work today. 278 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:17,946 (Exhales) 279 00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:19,656 Oh, my god! 280 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:24,202 Jim: Dunder Mifflin road trip 2012! 281 00:12:24,286 --> 00:12:26,914 (Shutter clicks) Okay, now a serious one. 282 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,418 Hey, where's Dwight? He should be a part of this. 283 00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:34,671 Has he been acting kind of weird to you lately? 284 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:37,382 If by lately you mean for the last 12 years, yeah. 285 00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,152 No, I mean he's sulking. That's not like him. 286 00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:40,844 He's just mad that we're all having fun. 287 00:12:41,345 --> 00:12:43,889 Then why isn't he scheming? Or preparing to avenge? 288 00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:47,851 He's fine. He's indestructible. 289 00:12:49,895 --> 00:12:51,939 Always say that a child is "placed" 290 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,274 for adoption, never "surrendered." 291 00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:56,193 We're not hostages. 292 00:12:57,361 --> 00:12:59,363 Although, I have considered kidnapping one. 293 00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:01,365 And never say that. 294 00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:07,621 I am so excited thinking about this child that you're going to adopt. 295 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:09,748 I wish I could just wave a magic wand and 296 00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,959 make you a parentless five-year-old again. 297 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,460 I would snap you up. 298 00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:19,925 Next stop, pies. Next stop, pies. 299 00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:23,053 All: Next stop, pies. Next stop, pies. 300 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,180 Let's go, driver. 301 00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:28,392 Laverne packs up the pie wagon at 5:00, so... 302 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:31,019 At 5:00? That's only 20 minutes from now. 303 00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:34,398 The pie shop is 13 miles away. 304 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:38,902 So at 55 miles an hour, that just gives us five minutes to spare! 305 00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:40,988 So, wait. When pies are involved 306 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:43,031 you can suddenly do math in your head? 307 00:13:43,115 --> 00:13:44,116 Well... 308 00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:48,203 Hold on, Kevin, how much is 19,154 pies 309 00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,247 divided by 61 pies? 310 00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:53,166 Three hundred and fourteen pies. 311 00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:56,420 What if it were salads? 312 00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,338 Well, it's the... 313 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:03,260 Carry the four... in the... 314 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,720 It doesn't work. 315 00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,180 I'm sorry to spoil Jim's fantastic voyage, everyone. 316 00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:08,515 But we're almost out of gas. 317 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:11,977 Okay, well, I saw a station about a mile back, so chop-chop. 318 00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:14,646 That name brand place? No, forget about it, sorry. 319 00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:17,816 The tanks are so big on this thing, five cents a gallon extra? 320 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:18,942 It really adds up. 321 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:21,236 Are you kidding me? Dwight, come on! 322 00:14:21,445 --> 00:14:23,205 Hey, honey? I don't think we should push him. 323 00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:25,157 No, I'm going to push him. You know why? 324 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,868 Because you're getting a pie. Why? Because you deserve it! 325 00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:30,596 And what is he doing? He's trying to drive us all around the countryside 326 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,873 looking for gas, because he knows we won't get there. 327 00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,791 Is that what we want? All: No! 328 00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:36,918 Stop ordering me around, Jim! 329 00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:38,795 What do we want? All: Pies! 330 00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,630 When do we want it? All: Pies! 331 00:14:41,173 --> 00:14:42,174 Okay, fine! 332 00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:47,137 You win, Jim! You win. 333 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,323 We have been battling for a long time, but you know what? 334 00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,617 You win, because you are the winner. You are the Alpha male. 335 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:54,311 There you go. Alpha male, go buy your wife a pie. 336 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,979 Go buy the whole world a pie! 337 00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,647 That's impossible. 338 00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:00,150 All: Dwight! 339 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,318 What are you doing? 340 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:02,986 What the hell? Dwight! 341 00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,283 Well, now I don't even feel like pie. 342 00:15:09,493 --> 00:15:10,494 Wait. 343 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,996 No, it's back. 344 00:15:15,499 --> 00:15:18,085 Oh, just drive away. Just... 345 00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:19,669 Phyllis, that's not safe. 346 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,838 Guys, we only have 18 minutes left. 347 00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:25,008 At 61 miles an hour, we're just going to barely make it. 348 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,094 Go up and check on him. He's upset. 349 00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:28,804 You know he's doing all this on purpose. 350 00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:31,223 Please just make sure he's okay. 351 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,826 Stanley: And hurry it up, for god's sake! 352 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,328 They're going to be out of banana cream. 353 00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:36,537 Banana cream is the first to go. 354 00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:38,522 We'll be lucky to get pumpkin at this point. 355 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:39,856 What? 356 00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:42,234 Dwight? 357 00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:44,444 Why are you such a jerk? 358 00:15:44,528 --> 00:15:46,363 I'm trying to do something for my wife, 359 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,531 and you keep derailing... 360 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:48,865 I'm barren, Jim. 361 00:15:50,242 --> 00:15:52,536 What? My trouser hives are void of honey. 362 00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:56,081 I had congress with Angela, and the child that she bore 363 00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,791 did not issue from my loins. 364 00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:01,378 I thought I would be a father and instead I am a eunuch, 365 00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:03,880 neutered by my own building. 366 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,051 Is this about the popcorn, or the x on the ceiling? 367 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,387 Dwight, that was a prank. 368 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:14,015 You mean you flooded my building with dangerous electromagnetic 369 00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,268 radiation as a prank? 370 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,371 That's genius. That's the best prank you've ever done. 371 00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:19,896 I'll take it. (Laughs) 372 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:24,901 Andy? Who is it? 373 00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:28,363 Um, is this a good time? Yeah. 374 00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:31,741 Perfect time, right in the middle of a rooftop crisis. 375 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,952 Fine, let me read it. What do we have here? 376 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:37,122 Okay. (Mumbling) 377 00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:41,585 You've made this very easy for me. It's unsignable. 378 00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:46,923 Well, is there something... It's inaccurate, dishonest, 379 00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:49,134 and in a word, dong water. 380 00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:52,012 Oh, well, perhaps I could reword some of it to... 381 00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:54,097 Here's the thing. You asked me to do you a favor. 382 00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:55,974 I did it. I read it. 383 00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:58,268 Thank you very much to me for my time. 384 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,771 Good luck with your impossible dream. 385 00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:05,775 All right then. 386 00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:17,787 Dwight, sometimes it takes couples years to get pregnant. 387 00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:20,415 Really? How long did it take you and Pam to conceive? 388 00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:22,476 That doesn't matter. What position did you use to conceive? 389 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,603 Okay, I'm not talking about that. 390 00:17:23,627 --> 00:17:24,729 Regular or lady-on-her-back? 391 00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:26,671 You used lady-on-her-back, didn't you, freak? 392 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,465 Yuck, gross. Never mind, Jim. 393 00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:34,971 (Sobbing) 394 00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:42,729 British women, famously over-emotional, am I right? 395 00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:46,483 I don't think that's Nellie. What? 396 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,735 Nellie: Oh. 397 00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:52,948 Oh, no, no. Look, it's all right, really. It isn't your fault. 398 00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:57,369 No, no. You were so kind, 399 00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,412 and it isn't anything to do with you. 400 00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,667 Did you ever think that because you own the building, 401 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:07,087 everyone in it, we're all kind of like your children? 402 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:11,508 You know there's a phrase about that in German, bildenkinder, 403 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,051 used almost exclusively by childless 404 00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:14,844 landlords to console themselves. 405 00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,889 But now I really understand it. 406 00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,182 (Chuckles) 407 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:23,728 Well, now you have a bus full of real bildenkinder, 408 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:27,107 bildenkinder. Okay, and they're all dangerously close 409 00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,692 to not getting pie. 410 00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:32,153 And there's only one guy who can save them. 411 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,989 It's not me. 412 00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,156 I agree. 413 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,702 Hey, how did it go? 414 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:41,288 It was pretty good, actually. We bonded, we got to talk... 415 00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:42,831 Oh. Wait, wait, wait! 416 00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:45,959 Dwight: That's what happens when you don't get out of the way. 417 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:47,252 Out of the way! 418 00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:51,298 You feel okay now? Better than okay. 419 00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:52,757 And you know what, honey? 420 00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:54,884 I'm going to get you that rhubarb pie. 421 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,279 Well, actually, rhubarb is... Don't. 422 00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,363 The one pie that I... don't. 423 00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:59,055 Everybody, hang on! 424 00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:00,223 (Starts engine) 425 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:01,391 Oh! 426 00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,647 All: Whoa! 427 00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:13,945 All: (Chanting) Pie! Pie! Pie! Pie! Pie! 428 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,501 I changed my mind. 429 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,879 Yeah. Oh, you signed it? 430 00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,214 Not as is, obviously. 431 00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:37,093 I made a couple of changes, added some sentences at the end. 432 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,138 Trust me, it needed it. 433 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:42,849 But, yeah, whatever. 434 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:53,568 "She's tough in business, but tender with the people she cares about. 435 00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:55,862 "She'll make a wonderful mother to any child 436 00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:58,156 "who can overlook weird accents." 437 00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:05,121 I insult you, Oscar! 438 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:06,748 What? 439 00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:09,709 I insult you, to your face! 440 00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,670 I don't know what you're talking about. 441 00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:15,048 Then why don't you do something about it? 442 00:20:15,507 --> 00:20:16,609 Kevin, are you trying to get me 443 00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,426 to hit you in the face with my pie? 444 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:20,345 You don't have the guts, 445 00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:25,600 you stupid, dumb do-do face. 446 00:20:32,649 --> 00:20:33,650 Yes! 447 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,112 Oh, my god, I'm getting so stuffed. 448 00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:43,743 We did it. 449 00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:45,662 You did it. 450 00:20:54,504 --> 00:20:56,423 My name is Andy! Yeah? 451 00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:58,466 I don't do drugs yeah? 452 00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:00,468 Now check the style yeah? 453 00:21:00,552 --> 00:21:01,678 Of flatt and scruggs! 454 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:02,846 Yeah 455 00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,764 (plays lively tune) 456 00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:18,987 Roll call 457 00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,405 roll call 458 00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:21,614 roll call 459 00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:22,699 what?