1 00:00:01,252 --> 00:00:04,505 Dwight: This year! Decided to really get into the spirit of Halloween. 2 00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:08,217 (Screams) (Screams) 3 00:00:08,885 --> 00:00:09,886 (Laughs) 4 00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:16,100 It may have been the costliest decision I've ever made. 5 00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,896 My greased-up head went into the pumpkin no problem, but... 6 00:00:19,979 --> 00:00:21,022 It won't budge! 7 00:00:21,105 --> 00:00:22,481 I can't get it out. 8 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:24,525 Try again. 9 00:00:24,609 --> 00:00:26,736 I mean, I could try destroying the pumpkin. 10 00:00:26,819 --> 00:00:27,820 No! No! No! 11 00:00:27,904 --> 00:00:29,447 But as Jim and I discovered... 12 00:00:32,283 --> 00:00:35,995 Any blow to the pumpkin itself could prove fatal to me. 13 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:37,788 At first, I drove myself crazy thinking 14 00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:40,192 about the things I should've done differently. Yes, Dwight. 15 00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:42,627 I never should've played that joke on Erin. 16 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,462 I never should have hollowed out 17 00:00:44,629 --> 00:00:46,339 this damned pumpkin in the first place. 18 00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:49,926 But then I realized I was being silly. 19 00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:54,347 I mean, the pumpkin should rot off of my head in a month or two. 20 00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:55,473 Right? 21 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,276 Hey, guys. Hey! 22 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:08,361 Pam, what are you? 23 00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:09,654 I'm Dr. Cinderella. 24 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,447 Cece's really into princesses now, 25 00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,634 so we decided to turn them into positive female role models. 26 00:01:13,658 --> 00:01:15,326 I'm an oncologist. 27 00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:17,245 And you are a dog. 28 00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:19,413 I'm a puppy. 29 00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:21,207 Dang it, I was worried that would happen. 30 00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:22,500 It's okay. 31 00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:23,945 Jim, you're not dressed up at all. 32 00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:26,504 Sure I am. I am 33 00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:29,382 one of the men in black guys. 34 00:01:29,465 --> 00:01:30,484 Can I have your sunglasses? 35 00:01:30,508 --> 00:01:32,260 Jim, come on. I thought we were past this. 36 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,262 So the sports marketing business 37 00:01:34,345 --> 00:01:36,597 that Jim told everyone about except for me... 38 00:01:36,681 --> 00:01:38,516 There's a big investment lunch today, 39 00:01:38,683 --> 00:01:40,559 so I decided to skip the costume. 40 00:01:40,643 --> 00:01:44,689 Unless he has a secret costume that he told everyone about except for me. 41 00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,208 Getting a lot of mileage out of this, aren't you? 42 00:01:46,232 --> 00:01:48,484 Yeah, well, get used to it, bud. 43 00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:51,612 Jitterbug. 44 00:01:52,238 --> 00:01:54,448 (Laughs) You guys look great! 45 00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:57,159 Just a reminder, the party is right after lunch, 46 00:01:57,243 --> 00:01:59,888 so make sure you get all your work done before that or throw it out. 47 00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:01,163 Any questions? 48 00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:04,542 The senator will be joining us later. 49 00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,043 Not a question. 50 00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:07,253 No, it wasn't. 51 00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:09,880 Excellent. That reminds me, has anyone seen treble? 52 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:14,719 Anyone? I could have sworn I saw some treble somewhere. 53 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:15,803 (A cappella singing) 54 00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:19,140 Ladies and gentlemen, here comes treble! 55 00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:23,811 (Singing) I'm a man without conviction 56 00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:28,482 you come and go you come and go 57 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:33,321 Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma chameleon 58 00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:38,743 you come and go you come and go 59 00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:42,830 loving would be easy if your colors were like my dreams 60 00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:48,502 red, gold, and green red, gold, and green 61 00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:49,587 Karma, come on! 62 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:50,671 Ah! 63 00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:51,922 So good. 64 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:56,927 What lab did these little clones escape from? 65 00:02:57,011 --> 00:02:58,679 My Cornell a cappella group. 66 00:02:58,763 --> 00:03:00,264 You were in an a cappella group? 67 00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:01,891 You went to Cornell? 68 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:04,185 Yeah! Okay. (Laughs sarcastically) 69 00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,312 But you have no idea how lucky you are, 70 00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:09,982 because hct is doing a set at our Halloween party. 71 00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:12,985 Ugh. I don't want to sit through a whole concert of that. 72 00:03:13,069 --> 00:03:14,904 Idol I love the boss' interests. 73 00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:16,155 Attaboy, Clark. 74 00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,199 Where you boys staying? 75 00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:20,701 How does it work in the rooms? You get a privacy partition? 76 00:03:20,785 --> 00:03:23,412 No. No, no, no. Stay away. 77 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,247 Andy: You know what I just realized? 78 00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:30,920 They might actually call me up to solo on George Michael's faith. 79 00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:33,339 That was one of my signature songs. 80 00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:37,468 Oh, man. That would be insane. 81 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,303 I'm so not prepared. 82 00:03:40,513 --> 00:03:43,307 Are you sure you're okay with me putting in this much money? 83 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:44,975 Yeah. I mean, listen, 84 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,953 if we're going to do this thing, then we should do it right. 85 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,604 You're the best. 86 00:03:50,106 --> 00:03:52,525 I kind of am. It's crazy. 87 00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:54,568 Okay, I'll see you in a little bit. Pam: Okay. 88 00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:55,778 Jim, look, I'm eating you. 89 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,029 Shut up. 90 00:03:57,113 --> 00:03:58,114 (Laughs) 91 00:03:58,364 --> 00:04:00,449 Hey, Erin, look. 92 00:04:00,533 --> 00:04:02,618 These are nerds. I'm eating Jims. 93 00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:04,495 (Both laughing) 94 00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:07,540 Must eat more Jims! 95 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:11,043 Stop it! Stop it! I'm spilling Jims! 96 00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:13,712 Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! 97 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,934 Hello, little pill. 98 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,686 What do you do? 99 00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:32,481 Dumatril is licensed to treat anxiety symptoms 100 00:04:32,565 --> 00:04:36,110 such as panic attacks, excessive worrying and fear. 101 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,611 Translation? 102 00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,364 There's a madman in our midst. 103 00:04:41,407 --> 00:04:43,033 Okay, I give up. What are you? 104 00:04:43,159 --> 00:04:44,743 I'm sexy Toby. 105 00:04:44,827 --> 00:04:45,828 (Laughs) 106 00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:48,038 Gross! I love it. 107 00:04:48,164 --> 00:04:49,165 (Laughs) 108 00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:50,291 Dumaum 109 00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:54,170 something wrong, Dwight? 110 00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:55,754 Dumauw 111 00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:56,839 yes? 112 00:04:56,922 --> 00:04:59,508 This is a pill I found here in the office. 113 00:04:59,592 --> 00:05:02,178 But it's not for worms or eczema, like any normal pill. 114 00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,805 It's not for any disorder of the body. 115 00:05:04,889 --> 00:05:06,891 (Whispers) It's for a disorder of the mind. 116 00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,393 The mind is part of the body. 117 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:12,354 Okay, this is a pill that combats insanity. 118 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:16,692 Okay? Whoever is taking it is not only insane, 119 00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:18,819 they are now off their meds. 120 00:05:18,903 --> 00:05:20,988 Dwight, our co-workers' heahhissues 121 00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:22,340 are really none of our business. 122 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:24,783 Why are you trying so hard to Bury this thing, huh? 123 00:05:24,909 --> 00:05:27,453 What's going on, Nellie? Talk to me. 124 00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:31,999 It's my pill. I have an anxiety issue, and I'm not ashamed of that, 125 00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:36,045 but I'm not loving the idea of Dwight having that information. 126 00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:40,090 I once saw him yell at Phyllis for sneezing wrong. 127 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,135 Yeah, you're right. This man needs to be apprehended. 128 00:05:43,219 --> 00:05:45,137 I'll get my apprehension kit. 129 00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:49,225 (Scatting) Dudes! What's up? 130 00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:50,309 (All greet in return) 131 00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:54,063 I know it's pathetic to relive your college years, but cut me some slack, 132 00:05:54,146 --> 00:05:58,067 okay, because I was a freaking rock star in college. 133 00:05:58,150 --> 00:06:01,904 When I joined here comes treble, that's when I became somebody. 134 00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:07,701 When I got the nickname boner champ, that is when I became me. 135 00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:11,097 You didn't come here to sit in a room, right? 136 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:13,016 You came here for some intergenerational bro time! 137 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,792 Well, now's your chance! I'm here! 138 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,627 You got q's, I got a's. 139 00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:21,632 Did you say you've got aids? 140 00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:25,970 No, I don't have aids. That's not what I said. Next question. 141 00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:32,601 You don't have any questions about the old days? 142 00:06:35,271 --> 00:06:36,272 (Clears throat) 143 00:06:37,273 --> 00:06:39,483 You at least want to know why they call me boner champ? 144 00:06:39,984 --> 00:06:42,528 I thought broccoli Rob was the boner champ. 145 00:06:46,991 --> 00:06:48,158 I'm sorry. What? 146 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,371 I just thought broccoli Rob was the boner champ. 147 00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:59,753 Broccoli Rob was broccoli Rob. 148 00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:03,299 Andy Bernard is the boner champ. 149 00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:13,225 I didn't realize that everybody here dresses up every year. 150 00:07:13,309 --> 00:07:14,685 Me neither. 151 00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:17,771 It's Halloween. 152 00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:20,357 That is really, really good timing. 153 00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:22,943 I was just talking to some of the actives, 154 00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:25,279 and they think that you're boner champ. 155 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,990 I'm so sorry. [Don't know how that could've happened. 156 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,576 Did you maybe tell them that? Or... 157 00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,579 I just started yapping about the old days, 158 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:36,624 and I guess the wine coolers were flowing, 159 00:07:36,707 --> 00:07:38,427 and you know, somehow things just got hinky. 160 00:07:38,751 --> 00:07:40,671 Could you call them and just tell them the truth? 161 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,379 Because I know it's really stupid, 162 00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:45,132 but it's also really, really, really important. 163 00:07:45,758 --> 00:07:47,217 Will do. 164 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:49,219 I love you, Andy. 165 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,471 Love you too. 166 00:07:51,513 --> 00:07:53,349 So the workspace looks awesome. 167 00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:54,933 And the graphic designer is gonna be 168 00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:56,661 sending us in some of the logo treatments. 169 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:57,728 Can't wait to see them. 170 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,313 You guys rock. 171 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,482 Rocking. 172 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,401 There you go. 173 00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:07,488 I've also been running the numbers, and between our backers 174 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:10,532 and our own investments, we're looking great for a full year on this. 175 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,619 Is it too late to get in? 176 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:15,913 Jim, I explained everything, so you're all set. 177 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,582 Oh, no, I actually talked to my wife, and we'd really like to, 178 00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:21,251 you know, invest, get in on the ground floor. 179 00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:23,945 Wow, well, what level of investment were you thinking about? 180 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:28,258 We were thinking somewhere between $5,000, $10,000. 181 00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:33,430 I can do the full $10,000. We shouldjust... all in. 182 00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:34,682 All right, welcome aboard. 183 00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:36,350 All right. Awesome, cool. 184 00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:42,272 Hey, Darryl. I'm just here to smear some peanut butter on my forehead. 185 00:08:42,815 --> 00:08:45,025 You know, to protect his brain 186 00:08:45,109 --> 00:08:47,709 from the nanobots that the government put in the air conditioning. 187 00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:51,657 That makes sense to you, right? 188 00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:55,411 Or does it sound crazy? 189 00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:03,127 I can't really picture it. Can you get it on there? 190 00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:05,003 Yeah. 191 00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:07,756 Maybe get the cheeks. 192 00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:11,218 So this makes sense then? Or is it crazy? 193 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:14,138 Get under your chin first, yeah, yeah. 194 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,056 Is that where the nanobots like to come in? 195 00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,242 Get all the way up to your lip, yeah. 196 00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:18,267 Okay. 197 00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:19,685 Is that how they like to get in? 198 00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,271 Yeah. That's crazy. 199 00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:28,444 I don't know. I just don't know. 200 00:09:28,986 --> 00:09:30,446 Yo! Bad boys of a cappella! 201 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,030 All: Hey. 202 00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:35,492 Heard any good stories lately or new twists on old stories? 203 00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,954 Yeah, I got a call from broccoli Rob. 204 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,331 I guess you really are the boner champ. 205 00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,192 Did he tell you how I got the name? 206 00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:49,173 Spring sing '95, we got completely ripped on bud drys, 207 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,759 I had sex with a snowman. 208 00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:56,054 I just went at that thing. 209 00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:57,615 The cold would've stopped most people, 210 00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,516 but I stayed locked in, you know? 211 00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:02,686 I took the face off. Just seemed easier that way. 212 00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:07,065 And I told Phyllis not to put it out, but she insisted. 213 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:09,026 So, anyway, hi. 214 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,862 Oscar, you remember my husband, the senator. 215 00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,310 Senator lipton. Nice to see you. 216 00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:15,699 Nice to see you, Oscar. 217 00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:18,327 Wait a second. Who designed this spread? 218 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,287 The sweets and savories are all mixed together. 219 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,371 This is mayhem. 220 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,624 So, Oscar, you're a dinosaur? 221 00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:25,334 Actually, I'm the electoral college. 222 00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,878 Ouch. Right on target. 223 00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:31,548 You know what? This is outrageous. I have to find Phyllis. 224 00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:32,966 You two talk, okay? Sorry, babe. 225 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,468 (Whispers) Okay. 226 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:35,636 Phyllis! 227 00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:38,680 God, it's just so good to see you. 228 00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:40,307 (Chuckles) 229 00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:44,061 All having this wonderful Halloween gathering. 230 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,187 Excuse me, is that punch? 231 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:48,565 They didn't know about the snowman story. 232 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,859 And when I told them, they were not impressed. 233 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,278 What is with these turkeys? Right? 234 00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,906 Hey. You better do faith. You get me? 235 00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:58,325 We don't know it. 236 00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:01,912 So learn it. You all go to Cornell. You're, like, eight rain men. 237 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,056 Just learn the fricking song. 238 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,290 Look, I know it was big with the old guys, but... 239 00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:07,459 Butts are for pooping. 240 00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:11,171 Okay, make itwork. You have to, or Andy will flip out. 241 00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:13,841 And make it a surprise, please. 242 00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:18,679 This isn't stupid. 243 00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:21,223 What? 244 00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,609 Hey. Hey. 245 00:11:33,277 --> 00:11:34,278 Hey, Toby. 246 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,533 Are you me? 247 00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:40,868 Yeah. 248 00:11:42,286 --> 00:11:43,579 Oh, my goodness, look at this. 249 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:44,955 Yeah. 250 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,456 (Muttering) 251 00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:48,834 Look at me. 252 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,168 Being you. I know! Look at you. 253 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,378 (Laughs) 254 00:11:52,296 --> 00:11:53,297 It's funny, right? 255 00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:11,773 All right, all right, just stay focused on the pill. 256 00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:15,527 Okay, look. Dwight, let's just call this thing off. 257 00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:18,530 I mean, it's just an anxiety pill. Lots of people have anxiety. 258 00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:20,758 You think I don't have anxiety? I have anxiety all the time! 259 00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:23,035 Every waking moment of my life is sheer torture! 260 00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:25,871 I have land disputes to settle, and idiot cousins to protect, 261 00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:27,915 and ne'er-do-well siblings to take care of. 262 00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:30,751 And I don't need some stupid pill to get me through all this. 263 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,210 Cool, free upper. 264 00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:34,755 Ah-hal thejig is up, psychopath! 265 00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,465 (Yells) Yeah! What the hell? 266 00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:37,841 Don't dog catch me! 267 00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:39,259 Gotcha! Yeah! 268 00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:40,802 Let's see you get out of this web. 269 00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:42,930 The pill is mine! What the... 270 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,389 Get her out. What? 271 00:12:45,474 --> 00:12:47,142 Stop banging my head! 272 00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:51,855 (Sighs) 273 00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:56,276 Dwight, look! It's just a pill, all right? 274 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:59,613 It's for anxiety. I take it every day, and it makes me feel better. 275 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:03,742 And maybe it could help you too. 276 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,455 Hey! How'd it go? Hey! 277 00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,165 Man, it was great. They were great. 278 00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:11,458 Did you end up investing? 279 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,460 I did, yeah. How much? 280 00:13:14,670 --> 00:13:17,756 By the end, I guess it was about 10. 281 00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:21,218 About 10? Ten. Itwas the full 10. 282 00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:23,845 Wow. Yeah. 283 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:25,847 Wow. Yeah. 284 00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:27,533 You know, it's a good thing we talked about it, though, 285 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,142 because we had to. Yeah, yeah. I know. 286 00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:30,686 Yeah. 287 00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:33,647 So did everybody end up investing $10,000? 288 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,899 Um... man, I don't actually know. 289 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,150 What? 290 00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:38,795 They weren't really talking that much about money. 291 00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:41,571 They just said, "we're good with investing," and then I... 292 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,532 Andy: Ladies and gentlemen. 293 00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:46,076 Here comes treble. 294 00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:47,411 (A cappella singing) 295 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,555 They said they were done with the investing, 296 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,081 and then you volunteered $10,000? 297 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:54,501 No, lhadto. I needed to look like a team player, Pam. 298 00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,837 So you invested $10,000 to look like a team player? 299 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,505 You weren't there. It was very clear 300 00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:00,215 that $10,000 is what we had to do. 301 00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:01,633 We'll talk about it later. 302 00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,135 No, I want to talk about it now! 303 00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:06,596 Jim, that was most of our savings. 304 00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:13,186 (Singing) And I'll be better when I'm older 305 00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:19,943 I'll be the greatest fan of your life 306 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,903 Clark: Wait. Wait, hold on. 307 00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:23,613 Where's the band? 308 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,717 'Cause there's no way you guys are making this magic 309 00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:26,742 with just your mouths! 310 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:27,868 That's what she said. 311 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,120 Why, am I overdoing it? 312 00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:32,831 No. No. 313 00:14:33,749 --> 00:14:35,250 We said some. We said some. 314 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,918 We'll talk about it later. 315 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,920 We said "part." 316 00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:46,219 And I'll be your crying shoulder 317 00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:49,472 (a cappella singing) 318 00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:50,891 Get your car washed today 319 00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,642 ba-da-bah 320 00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:54,478 fill up and you don't have to pay 321 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:55,854 ba-da-bah 322 00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:58,440 come on and give us a play 323 00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,025 get a wash right away 324 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,318 car wash, yeah! 325 00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,111 Yefi oh, man 326 00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:04,654 that's how you do that! 327 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,281 Thank you. 328 00:15:07,491 --> 00:15:09,201 Show some pride. This is crap. 329 00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:11,036 I agree. Yes, crap. 330 00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:12,579 Confinue. 331 00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,915 Now, folks, by special request, 332 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,334 we're going to take it a little old school. 333 00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:20,796 There is a former trebler in this room. 334 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,964 Who? It's Mr. Andy Bernard. 335 00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:27,886 (A cappella singing) 336 00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:31,473 No, do not sing that. Do not... oh, man. 337 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:34,684 He reminded us today of how much he means to us, 338 00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:37,312 and we certainly seem to mean a lot to him. 339 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:39,981 So, without any further ado, here's an old treble classic. 340 00:15:43,527 --> 00:15:47,155 Dank, dank, dank, dank dank, dank, dank, dank, dank 341 00:15:47,239 --> 00:15:49,491 well, I guess it would be nice 342 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,743 if I could touch your body 343 00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:56,331 I know not everybody has got a body like you 344 00:15:56,665 --> 00:15:58,375 vvhoa! Vvhoa! 345 00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:02,170 What the hell is broccoli Rob doing here? 346 00:16:02,254 --> 00:16:04,005 She said you wanted to hear faith. 347 00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,924 That's broccoli Rob's signature song. 348 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,051 Oh, but I need some time off... 349 00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:10,470 That's my signature song. 350 00:16:10,554 --> 00:16:11,972 I really didn't know that, man. 351 00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:13,640 I just thought you wanted to hear it. 352 00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:16,017 Russell, I'm dressed like George Michael. 353 00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,104 Ithoughtyou were Adam lambert. (Shudders) 354 00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:21,815 Erin: The more I hear about all this a cappella drama, 355 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:25,110 the more I think it's kind of pathetic. 356 00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:27,487 But when you're with someone, you put up with the stuff 357 00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:31,032 that makes you lose respect for them, and that is love. 358 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,285 Are you okay? 359 00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:34,536 He's still mad. 360 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:37,581 Okay. Shut up, broccoli! 361 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:40,625 Champ, I feel awful about this whole thing. 362 00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:41,709 Russell called me up, 363 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:45,714 and they said they needed 20 cc's of George Michael, stat. 364 00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:49,342 So, just wham! I sprang into action. You know me. 365 00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:52,345 I assumed you wanted to hear me do your signature number. 366 00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:55,640 You thought I wanted to sit in the audience like some slutty treb rat? 367 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,518 A man's signature solo is his for life, okay? 368 00:16:58,602 --> 00:17:00,061 That's group policy, and you know it. 369 00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:03,023 Look, it's not my fault I still live near campus. 370 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:06,568 And it's my duty as an alum to be friendly to the young guys, 371 00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:09,696 and stop in two, three times a week. 372 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,072 Just don't do the song anymore. 373 00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,742 I tell you what. We 'ii have a sing-off for it. 374 00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,744 You pick 12 alums from any year 375 00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:17,787 to back you up, and I'll do the same. 376 00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:21,041 And I'm so confident that I'll win, I won't even warm up. 377 00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:23,001 Fine, go ahead, thrash your pipes. 378 00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:25,086 My pipes are primo, champ! 379 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:28,465 Why don't you ask Trey anastasio about my pipes? 380 00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:31,468 I knew you would go there, you son of a bitch! 381 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:36,056 He said, and I quote, "hey, Rob, nice pipes." Thathappened! 382 00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:38,058 Okay. Fine, yeah. That's real! 383 00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:39,577 That's one guy's opinion. That'll never change! 384 00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:40,601 Okay! Okay! 385 00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:44,064 Doesn't mean you're the best singer ever. Dick! 386 00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:45,707 I thought that concert was pretty great. 387 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:49,527 Oh, yeah, I decided acapelco music is awesome. 388 00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:51,571 They lost me when they sang monster mash. 389 00:17:51,655 --> 00:17:54,449 That song obviously glorifies the occult. 390 00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:57,369 Angela, it's Halloween. You have to sing monster mash. 391 00:17:57,661 --> 00:18:00,080 You have to, Jim? You literally have to? 392 00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:06,753 No, I'm just... I'm saying what would happen if they didn't sing it? 393 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:09,714 Would they go to jail? Would they be shot? 394 00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:12,509 Okay. We'll just forget it. 395 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,219 No, no! I'm interested. 396 00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:17,931 I mean, I think everybody's interested in why they have to sing it. 397 00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:19,391 Because it is Halloween. 398 00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:20,826 So ifyou're going to sing a concert, 399 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,203 it's a good idea to throw that one in. 400 00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:24,938 Yeah, yeah. No, no, it's a good idea to brush your teeth, 401 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:29,943 but you have to, um, feed your children. Send them to school. 402 00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:31,653 You know, all things you can't do 403 00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:33,947 if you just keep singing monster mash. 404 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:39,995 It turns out Pam really, really hates monster mash. 405 00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:44,207 I mean, like, never bring that song up in front of her. 406 00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:49,921 Even though Jim was making great points, like, in favor of the song, 407 00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:55,135 Pam was like, "no! Hate it! Stupid!" 408 00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,762 This is all so silly, right? 409 00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:01,568 What am I going to do, move back to Cornell? 410 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,018 (Laughs) Yeah. 411 00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,312 I mean, what if we did that? 412 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:09,232 Like, we gotjobs, and we were happy all the time? 413 00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:11,568 Oh. Well, Andy, we're not moving to Cornell. 414 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:15,447 Duh, I know. That would be insane. Yeah. 415 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,824 It could totally work, though. 416 00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:20,076 I don't know why we wouldn't. 417 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,495 Oh, my god, are we doing this? 418 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,665 Oy. Andy, what is going on? 419 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,377 If I am not boner champ, 420 00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,548 I don't know who I am. 421 00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:36,843 Well, you know, maybe you're the wise old guy 422 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:41,973 that the new b-o-n-e-r champ looks up to. 423 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,850 You know, you could just... make a donation. 424 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,186 Well, I was going to say, be a mentor. 425 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:47,437 Yes. 426 00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:49,689 I'm going to make a donation. 427 00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:53,026 And it just so happens I know someone 428 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:55,487 who works at the Bernard family foundation. 429 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:56,571 Her name is mom. 430 00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:05,097 Dwight: (Whispers) I want some of those pills. 431 00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:07,248 Nellie: Oh. Well, good for you. 432 00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:08,642 I mean, you'll need a prescription. 433 00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:10,377 Dwight: Oh, no, no, they're not for me. 434 00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,295 They're for my cousin, mose. 435 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:15,507 He's just having a tough time, being wifeless, 436 00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:19,177 and a high-pressure job, and his crazy cousin mose. 437 00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:20,303 Other cousin mose. Mmm. 438 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:21,513 Got it. 439 00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:25,809 Well, you tell mose that he's a good man, 440 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,268 and I hope he feels better. 441 00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:31,606 Which one? 442 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:33,024 Mose, or the real mose? 443 00:20:33,108 --> 00:20:34,401 The real mose. 444 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:37,570 He says thank you. 445 00:20:40,949 --> 00:20:43,910 Mom? I had this really charitable idea 446 00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:46,913 to set up a scholarship for a cappella kids at Cornell, 447 00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:49,457 and just need to wire some money over there. 448 00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:51,084 What? 449 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,585 (A cappella singing) 450 00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:58,675 Far above the busy humming of the bustling town 451 00:20:59,134 --> 00:21:02,303 reared against the arch of heaven 452 00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:03,471 what's wrong? 453 00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:04,931 Looks she proudly down 454 00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:06,266 my parents are broke. 455 00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:11,354 Lift the chorus, speed it onward 456 00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:15,275 loud her praises tell 457 00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:19,779 hail to thee, our Alma mater 458 00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:24,701 hail, all hail, Cornell!