1
00:00:01,002 --> 00:00:04,088
Andy: Uh, what else? I've
seen dirty dancing like, ten times...

2
00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:06,260
Breaks my heart every
time, you know? All: Whoa!

3
00:00:06,299 --> 00:00:07,466
Andy!

4
00:00:07,550 --> 00:00:09,594
That Swayze sure
can dance dirty.

5
00:00:09,886 --> 00:00:11,470
Don't you have any sunblock?

6
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,347
No, walterj's been hoarding it.

7
00:00:13,431 --> 00:00:16,031
If you want to worry about a part
of my body, worry about my eyes.

8
00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:18,936
They're like two flaming
meatballs in my skull.

9
00:00:19,145 --> 00:00:22,648
Last week, Andy set sail for the
Bahamas to sell his family's boat.

10
00:00:22,899 --> 00:00:24,817
And he took his
brother but not me.

11
00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:29,488
I was kind of sad at first, but then I
remembered that Bob Marley song,

12
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:32,283
"no, woman. No cry!"

13
00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:33,826
Check this out.

14
00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:36,454
Keeps my hair out of my stare.

15
00:00:36,996 --> 00:00:38,414
Also helps me
combat the glare bear.

16
00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:39,790
That's what! Call the sun now.

17
00:00:39,916 --> 00:00:42,460
Andy, it's Darryl. Take
your drawers off your head.

18
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:45,546
What else can I show you?
(G ru nts) Damn it!

19
00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:49,759
Oh, Andy, was that
your drinking water?

20
00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:53,054
Yeah, it was. That's okay,
though. I've got this cool

21
00:00:53,763 --> 00:00:55,264
desalinator device.

22
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:59,227
It sucks up sea water through this
hose and pumps out fresh water.

23
00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:01,520
See? Check it out.

24
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:03,814
(All groans)

25
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:06,651
That's not good.

26
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:09,695
I 'd better sign off.
I need to get going.

27
00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,465
I mean, these Skype sessions
are, like, the only thing

28
00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:13,324
that keep me sane
out here, you know?

29
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,992
(Cackles loudly)

30
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:20,039
He's been sailing for two days.

31
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:24,835
I'll leave you with this, the
image of a man and his boat!

32
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:26,671
Burn this into your brains!

33
00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:30,007
Yeah. No. No, no!

34
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:36,847
Andy? Andy? Andy? Andy?

35
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:49,860
(Phone ringing)

36
00:01:50,403 --> 00:01:51,570
Dwight schrute.

37
00:01:52,697 --> 00:01:53,739
(Beeps)

38
00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:55,658
Well, hi there, David Wallace.

39
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:58,953
Why would you ever call me
when the manager is out of town?

40
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,080
Well, I have some
very exciting news.

41
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:03,582
And you didn't call Jim.
That seems significant.

42
00:02:03,708 --> 00:02:05,876
Hi, David! Jim, good.
You should hear this, too.

43
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,004
No, he shouldn't! What? Jim!

44
00:02:08,087 --> 00:02:09,547
Go ahead, David. I'm listening.

45
00:02:09,672 --> 00:02:11,882
I... okay, David, I want
to take you off speaker.

46
00:02:11,966 --> 00:02:15,094
But I don't know
where I'd put you.

47
00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,721
Guys, listen. This is big news.

48
00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,849
The Scranton white pages
just got in contact with my office.

49
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:22,893
They have apparently dropped
their supplier for the last ten years.

50
00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:25,229
The white pages.

51
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,982
The white pages.
Do you want it? No.

52
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:29,233
Do you use it? No.

53
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:32,069
Does it inexplicably show up on
your doorstep three times a year?

54
00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:34,447
Yes, yes and yes.

55
00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:36,532
There is a reason we
in the paper industry

56
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,659
call this thing the white whale.

57
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,288
Look at all that sweet qubber.

58
00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,374
Look, we need our top salesman

59
00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:47,376
running point on this,
and Dwight, that is you.

60
00:02:48,544 --> 00:02:50,504
I'm going to need to
put you on hold for a second.

61
00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:53,341
(Beeps)

62
00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:55,760
Yeah! Whoo!

63
00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:58,888
Eat it, Jim!
Eat it, Phyllis! Eat...

64
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,515
Where's Stanley?
He's in the bathroom.

65
00:03:01,766 --> 00:03:03,493
Will you run into the
bathroom and tell him to eat it?

66
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:04,852
Of course.

67
00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:09,065
Yeah! Okay.
Hey, David, I'm back.

68
00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:10,274
Eat it, Stanley!

69
00:03:10,733 --> 00:03:14,570
So, last I remember Tom peterman
was in charge of that account?

70
00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,548
No, my assistant spoke to
the receptionist over there.

71
00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:18,532
It's someone new but she
didn't catch her name.

72
00:03:19,784 --> 00:03:20,785
Her name?

73
00:03:21,035 --> 00:03:23,162
No. Hey, Dwight shouldn't...
(Shushes)

74
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,682
Thanks, David! Thank you
so much for calling me today.

75
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,291
Good luck! Good luck to you.

76
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:28,793
Dwight, you can't go.

77
00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:31,087
You have a problem with women.
You can't sell to them.

78
00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:33,130
That's a damnable lie.
I love women.

79
00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:35,591
Gina Rogers at apex technology

80
00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:38,886
said you called her "jine-a"
for your entire meeting.

81
00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,012
Nellie1ew.

82
00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:42,390
That's not good.

83
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,059
Yeah, she said she
corrected him five times.

84
00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:46,644
"Jine-a" said that?

85
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,729
Guys, we can't let
Dwight blow this!

86
00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:51,190
An account this size
could double our gross!

87
00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:53,359
That means raises, bonuses.

88
00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:55,694
Pizza Friday could come back.

89
00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:58,155
Hey, remember that week in
the '905 when we got bagels?

90
00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,740
I miss Clinton.

91
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:00,991
Can you go instead?

92
00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:03,035
Can't. I have the thing.

93
00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,598
I have this conference call
today with this company

94
00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:07,902
in Philly
that I'm helping start.

95
00:04:07,957 --> 00:04:09,417
First board meeting.

96
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,211
Also the first time I've ever
been excited about work,

97
00:04:12,545 --> 00:04:14,171
so, that feels

98
00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:16,424
wrong.

99
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:21,137
Okay, calm down, it's
just me, not Tom Selleck.

100
00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:22,513
(All laugh)

101
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:23,806
Nice.

102
00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:26,851
Pete: Toby got us all to
participate in movember.

103
00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:29,186
It's a charity
for prostate cancer.

104
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:31,197
You pledge money and
then you grow a mustache

105
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:32,523
for the month of November.

106
00:04:32,857 --> 00:04:34,358
So, this is how we look now.

107
00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:36,619
I hope you like being
turned on all the time.

108
00:04:38,362 --> 00:04:39,780
Damn!

109
00:04:39,864 --> 00:04:41,407
Just keeps on coming, huh?

110
00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:43,117
I have very fertile hair glands.

111
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:48,122
I am so glad I got all of
the dudes to do movember.

112
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:51,041
We have the dopest
time back in the annex.

113
00:04:51,167 --> 00:04:52,168
God.

114
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:54,962
We even go to lunch,
pick up babes.

115
00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:57,256
Smile if you love
men's prostates!

116
00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:03,304
Hi.

117
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,556
Spring cleaning?

118
00:05:05,723 --> 00:05:07,349
More like fall cleaning.

119
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,313
I think the senator
is having an affair.

120
00:05:14,732 --> 00:05:16,233
This doesn't...

121
00:05:16,734 --> 00:05:18,360
I'm sorry, what?

122
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:21,322
I think the senator
is having an affair.

123
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:26,744
I literally have nightmares in
which what just happened happens.

124
00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:28,746
I wake up in a sweat,

125
00:05:29,914 --> 00:05:32,583
and then I make Angela's
husband spoon me back to bed.

126
00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:35,669
When he comes home
in the morning,

127
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:37,296
he has this secret little smile.

128
00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:41,217
I'm sure that's nothing.

129
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:43,552
And he's always
at the yoga studio.

130
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,638
He never misses the noon class.

131
00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:47,848
Hot yoga with Blake.

132
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:50,601
Angela,
Blake is also a guy's name,

133
00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:53,687
so he may be spending his
afternoons with a guy named Blake,

134
00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:55,481
so nothing to worry about.

135
00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:58,442
Huh.

136
00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:01,320
Blake. Who's Blake?

137
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:02,404
I don't know.

138
00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:04,823
I've just never heard
about the senator and yoga.

139
00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:06,325
Right. From you.

140
00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:08,953
I'm sure it's probably nothing.

141
00:06:09,495 --> 00:06:10,775
But what's with
the yoga already?

142
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:11,872
Right? And Blake?

143
00:06:11,956 --> 00:06:13,624
Right! All right,
Angela, calm down.

144
00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:15,876
We need to go and
check this out. What?

145
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,461
Angela, I'll go with you.

146
00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:22,758
So, show us how you'd
normally sell to a female client.

147
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,635
Okay, with pleasure.

148
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,096
Time to learn a few
new tricks, old dog.

149
00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:28,430
You got this, schrute.

150
00:06:28,514 --> 00:06:32,309
You've just walked
into her office and begin.

151
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,311
Hello. Hello.

152
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:35,688
May I please speak to your boss?

153
00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:37,147
No, she is the boss.

154
00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:38,315
I am? Yes.

155
00:06:40,693 --> 00:06:42,987
Hi, I'm Mr. Hannon,
how can I help you?

156
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,572
Okay, this isn't working for me,

157
00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:47,491
because no one would ever
believe that she would be a boss.

158
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:49,427
He's absolutely right,
I'm really struggling here.

159
00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:51,412
I'll be the buyer.

160
00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:52,663
Okay.

161
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:53,831
(Clears throat)

162
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,458
Hello, Mr. Schrute, nice to
see you. Please have a seat.

163
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:59,295
I never sit down
during sales meetings.

164
00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:01,505
I want to appear
aggressive and imposing.

165
00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:03,591
I am going to sell to
you in 12 minutes.

166
00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:06,969
No, actually, she'd like to take
her time discussing her needs.

167
00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:09,888
I will tell her what her
needs are and then fill them.

168
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,016
This is going to
work out best for you

169
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,893
if you just relax
and do nothing.

170
00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:17,688
And once I'm finished,
it's over.

171
00:07:19,023 --> 00:07:21,525
Okay, let's stop here.
Anyone have any thoughts?

172
00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:22,985
I thought it went great.

173
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,279
I have written down
a few questions.

174
00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:27,698
One, have you ever
killed a woman?

175
00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:29,491
How many women have you killed?

176
00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:31,201
Please sir,
will you not kill me?

177
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:36,957
Colin: Okay, let's get started.

178
00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:38,542
Okay, cool. Are we all on?

179
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,587
Well, you're the only
one "on." We're all here.

180
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:43,922
Right.

181
00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:46,550
Okay, over the next
three months, I...

182
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:48,844
That's the winter season,
three months.

183
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,972
(Lowers voice)
I had some ideas actually...

184
00:07:52,056 --> 00:07:53,724
Are you at your
office right now?

185
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:57,478
Yeah. Trust me, I would
rather be with you guys.

186
00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:59,480
Okay. Yeah,
it's sounding kind of

187
00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:01,565
spooky-sexy over here, Halpert.

188
00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:03,233
Oh. (Clears throat)

189
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:05,462
(Deepens voice) Sorry. I was
saying that you should probably...

190
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:06,779
Whoa.

191
00:08:07,071 --> 00:08:08,882
I think there 's... I think
there's been a mistake.

192
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:11,158
We 're trying to reach
Jim Halpert, not Batman.

193
00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:16,205
You know what?
I should have just had...

194
00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:17,682
I should have just had you
call me on my cell.

195
00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:19,768
Yeah. I'll... I'm going to
try a different spot. Okay?

196
00:08:19,792 --> 00:08:21,293
Okay, yeah. Okay.
Hicahyou fightback

197
00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,879
cool. What's happening
in three months?

198
00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:26,949
Okay, when you're
selling to women,

199
00:08:27,091 --> 00:08:28,571
it is crucial that
you listen, Dwight.

200
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,178
Also, you want to
respect their...

201
00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:34,765
Are you listening now?

202
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:36,266
Yes.

203
00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:38,352
Okay, well, you have to show us.

204
00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:41,313
That's impossible. Listening
happens in the ear and in the brain.

205
00:08:41,397 --> 00:08:43,357
I mean, some organisms
have external hairs

206
00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:45,442
that vibrate to
indicate auditory stimulation,

207
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:49,571
but unfortunately our external
hairs don't vibrate at all.

208
00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:51,782
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

209
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,450
What are you doing?

210
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:58,205
A little smile and a nod
shows that I hear you. Got it?

211
00:08:58,497 --> 00:08:59,498
Kind of.

212
00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:00,916
Nellie,
why don't you tell Dwight

213
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,321
what we were
doing earlier today,

214
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:04,176
and Dwight, you show us
that you're listening.

215
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:08,048
Well, we were in the warehouse
where we were discussing the mural

216
00:09:08,132 --> 00:09:10,092
that I've commissioned
Pam to paint there.

217
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,760
We were talking about
the color schemes

218
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,429
and the major themes
we want to hit.

219
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:16,098
Children of the world
coming together,

220
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,726
cutting down trees
to make paper,

221
00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:21,311
but not in a child labor-y way.

222
00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:24,857
It's just up and down, just
a regular nod, like a person.

223
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,108
I am a person.

224
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:27,192
Yes. Yeah.

225
00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:29,396
Of course. You're a person.
We can do this. All right?

226
00:09:29,445 --> 00:09:31,071
And then we thought we'd...

227
00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,967
I can't. I just, I can't carry
on with that face. Look at it.

228
00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:35,671
I'm going to get
nightmares with that face.

229
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:38,245
I mean, he looks like
he's laboring over

230
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,622
a stool having just
eaten human flesh.

231
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:41,999
That's a bit extreme.

232
00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:43,309
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, but that is true.

233
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,335
He's screwed! The meeting
is in less than an hour.

234
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:48,964
All right, god, Dwight, just
ignore every instinct you have.

235
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:50,674
It's all garbage. Okay?

236
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:53,844
You're the woman,
I'm the salesman.

237
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,971
Watch what I do
and try to learn.

238
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,557
Okay, I'm the woman. (Raises
pitch) I'm a woman. Good?

239
00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:02,770
Ms. Thomas! So good to see you.

240
00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:04,438
Hello.

241
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:05,874
Are those your kids?
They're so cute.

242
00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:07,024
They could be models.

243
00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:08,901
Thank you. I'm so proud of them.

244
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:13,113
I carried each one of them for
nine months inside of my torso

245
00:10:13,197 --> 00:10:14,990
and then pushed
them out of my vagina.

246
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:17,201
Boo. Weird.

247
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:20,996
Okay, well, this is a lost
cause. He's hopeless.

248
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:25,417
Ten years ago I didn't care if Dwight got
married or died a beet farming bachelor.

249
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,128
But having kids
makes you so soft.

250
00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:31,215
I used to watch Pulp Fiction
and laugh, and now I'm like,

251
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,592
that poor gimp
is somebody's child.

252
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:37,596
You know, I think there
could be a lot of benefits

253
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,359
if you could learn to
get along with women.

254
00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:40,933
I have no problem with women.

255
00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:43,060
It's business women and their...

256
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,938
Their power suits
and their shoulder pads.

257
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:47,815
Don't lie about your shoulders!

258
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,441
Dwight, listen to me.

259
00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:53,904
Business women are just
normal, nice, reasonable people.

260
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,907
Who's a nice, reasonable
person, in your experience?

261
00:10:58,534 --> 00:11:01,203
I had a barber once who
used to comb my hair gently.

262
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:04,081
Okay. So, when you're
selling to this woman,

263
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,500
just imagine she's that nice,
reasonable barber.

264
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:09,253
Okay. I can do that.

265
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,754
Good. Baby steps.

266
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,631
He used to fight dogs.

267
00:11:14,258 --> 00:11:18,679
Like, he used to make dogs
fight, or he actually fought dogs?

268
00:11:19,096 --> 00:11:20,514
Little of this, little of that.

269
00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:25,185
Which one is the instructor?

270
00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:26,854
They're all fatties.

271
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,690
Angela. Angela. What? Where?

272
00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:31,709
Oscar: The stairs, the stairs.

273
00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:32,776
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

274
00:11:33,277 --> 00:11:35,946
So wait, Blake is a her.

275
00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:38,282
Oh, my god!

276
00:11:38,574 --> 00:11:40,701
She's so stunningly tiny.

277
00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:43,954
She's like a petite double
zero, for sure. For sure.

278
00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:47,291
Holy cow,
look at what they're doing.

279
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,335
She's repositioning his hips
for downward facing dog.

280
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,629
(Gasps) I've heard of this.

281
00:11:53,005 --> 00:11:54,006
Dog style!

282
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,134
Wait! Look, Oscar!

283
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,136
Thumbelina has a boyfriend.

284
00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:01,597
And he has a ponytail. Ew.

285
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,724
I'd like to see
that run for office.

286
00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:07,144
Oscar, you were right, I had
nothing to be worried about.

287
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,271
Thank you. Let's go, let's go.

288
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:12,274
Shut up. Hold on. Hold
on. Hold on. Just, sorry.

289
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:14,860
Look.

290
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:16,904
(Mimics missile sound)

291
00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:20,699
This is fun. You know?

292
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:22,993
I mean, this is fun.

293
00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:25,746
What I was saying
is the genius of

294
00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:27,831
air Jordan was not in
the market saturation,

295
00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:29,541
it was...

296
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,960
Colin: It was what? Sorry...

297
00:12:32,044 --> 00:12:33,521
Jim we're having a lot
of trouble hearing you.

298
00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:37,382
The... what I was saying is, the real
genius was in the... (Car alarm blares)

299
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:40,093
Hey! Are those
skateboarders back?

300
00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:41,303
Jim? Jim, are you there?

301
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:42,512
Where are they?

302
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:44,097
The little punks!

303
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:45,724
It was in
the authentic design, right?

304
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:46,826
So, I mean, you really felt like

305
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:47,994
Michael Jordan was wearing
these shoes for...

306
00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:50,270
Jim, who's messing
with my Van? Nobody.

307
00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:52,022
Jordan wore them for nobody?

308
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,232
No, no. We 're not
following you, Halpert.

309
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,818
This ends now!

310
00:12:58,362 --> 00:13:00,614
Have a seat.
She will be right in.

311
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,200
Great. I'm sorry, do you
mind telling me her name?

312
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,952
I realize we don't have it.

313
00:13:07,079 --> 00:13:08,330
Uh, she'll be right in.

314
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:09,748
Okay, great. She'll...

315
00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:10,916
Okay.

316
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,711
Just a little off the top,
and then a nice combing.

317
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,882
Yeah. Just comb it.

318
00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:29,017
Oh, my god.

319
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:31,269
It's jan.

320
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,564
Dear god in heaven.

321
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:39,820
Jan used to be
one of my superiors,

322
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:41,822
and she is one of
the most erratic

323
00:13:41,947 --> 00:13:43,907
and terrifying people
I have ever met.

324
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,912
You son of a bitch! You're
firing me? I answered you...

325
00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:50,580
Where the hell do you get off?

326
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,893
Pam: Jim and I are pretty sure she had
an affair with her ex-assistant, hunter.

327
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:54,918
He was 17.

328
00:13:55,544 --> 00:13:56,586
But she looks great!

329
00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:59,476
If she asks, will you
tell her I said that?

330
00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:02,559
(Whispering) Forget
everything we taught you!

331
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:10,267
Hey, jan!
It's so great to see you.

332
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,977
Where's Wallace? What?

333
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,372
I was under the impression
David Wallace would be coming.

334
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:15,916
He bought back
dunder Mifflin, correct?

335
00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:20,485
Your daughter could
be a bubble bath model.

336
00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,821
I could just bite her head off.

337
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,156
(Laughs)

338
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:26,116
Sorry.

339
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,118
David is in Vermont.

340
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,412
Did you speak with him?
He sent Dwight instead.

341
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:31,621
Molly!

342
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,292
David Wallace is in Vermont.

343
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,627
Oh, my god.
I talked to his assistant,

344
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,796
and I guess it did
get a little confusing

345
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,757
because you said not
to tell anyone your name.

346
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:44,634
And then also, these bluetooths
are very hard to hear with.

347
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:45,903
I know you love
the way they look,

348
00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:47,196
but Tom never had
us use them, so...

349
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:50,807
Molly? I am not Tom. I am jan.

350
00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:52,809
I'm so sorry, jan. (Stifles sob)

351
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,273
Anyway.

352
00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:03,236
Thought itwould be fun to
have a little chat with

353
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,322
David Wallace
after all these years.

354
00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,783
Oh, well.

355
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,454
What are you doing? Listening.

356
00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:13,663
Stop. Dwight: Sorry.

357
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:14,956
Okay. Stop that.

358
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:20,712
So, this was all just a trick? You
don't really have any business to give?

359
00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:22,923
No, I do.

360
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,591
But not to us.

361
00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:26,176
Insightful, Pam.

362
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:30,263
You did good, Dwight. It's
okay. Seriously, jan's not normal.

363
00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:32,599
Let's just go. She's
not going to sell to us.

364
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,102
(Whispering) Yes, she is.

365
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:37,938
Now, I may not have
any instincts with women,

366
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:39,940
butlhave an instinct for sales.

367
00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:41,775
You keep her occupied,
I'll be right back.

368
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:43,151
What?

369
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:44,986
Pam. Yeah?

370
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:46,446
I'm a very busy woman, so...

371
00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:49,699
Yeah, do you have any
other pictures of Astrid?

372
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:53,703
Fine, I will show you
one slideshow.

373
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:57,728
Erin, did this call
come... (Sputters)

374
00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,335
Sorry. I just...
I saw your face.

375
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:02,995
I'm sorry. It's for the thing.

376
00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:04,172
I know. That's great.

377
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,359
It just, it makes it look
like there's an eyebrow

378
00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:07,717
in the middle of your face.

379
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:08,969
Wow.

380
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:13,306
A handsome eyebrow! But it makes
your mouth look like an eye socket.

381
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:14,391
Which isn't bad!

382
00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:16,768
Uh-huh. Butyoulook
like a cyclops

383
00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:19,896
whose eye fell out.

384
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:23,483
Which is great.
It's such a great cause.

385
00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:26,153
Yeah.

386
00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:34,744
(Jan sing on recording)
Mommy, you're a Princess

387
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:39,291
(mouthing words)
Mommy, you're a superstar

388
00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:43,503
mommy, you're the greatest

389
00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:45,755
how can I ever fill your shoes?

390
00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:54,181
Your voice is as lovely as ever.

391
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,684
And it is so cute
how she signs her name.

392
00:16:57,767 --> 00:17:00,478
That was... that was me, too.

393
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:04,316
Okay. It's just, that's how Cece
does it, with the backwards es.

394
00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:05,859
Cece can't spell her name?

395
00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:07,277
Actually, she can.

396
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,921
Well, it's not really much
of a comparison, is it?

397
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:11,573
I mean, "Cece" is two
letters, and "Astrid" is...

398
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:15,535
I mean, there's even some
adults who can't spell it.

399
00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:16,953
Of course. Canyouspehh?

400
00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:19,789
Try to spell it, Pam.

401
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,962
"X"? I don't... you got me.

402
00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:28,506
Don't patronize me.

403
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,343
I'm so sorry. I hate
this. You're better.

404
00:17:31,927 --> 00:17:33,720
Okay, we should go now.
Let's go.

405
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:37,390
(Shushes) Wait, just... just
waitjust a minute. Just watch.

406
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:47,067
Wait, why are you... oh. Are
you getting yourjollies right now?

407
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:49,361
Can't get enough of the show?

408
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:51,071
Yourjollies are all on fire.

409
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:53,823
Please! It's Robert
who's enjoying it!

410
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,075
What?

411
00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:56,969
This could be the affair
that you're scared of.

412
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,495
Politicians are wonderful liars.

413
00:17:58,662 --> 00:18:00,163
You never know
who they really are.

414
00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:07,504
But he's probably not gay.
He's straight.

415
00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:09,673
He's straight, so...

416
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,554
Excuse me, could I
get some more water?

417
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:21,434
Jan, you thought I had
no more cards left to play.

418
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,353
Well, I've got one. Man-boy!

419
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,690
The ace of babes.

420
00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:27,816
Oh, my god.

421
00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:28,942
Where's the quiznos?

422
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:32,487
You're the quiznos. (Chuckles)

423
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,739
Jan, may I introduce to you,

424
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:37,117
your own personal
dunder Mifflin liaison,

425
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:41,621
devoted to servicing this account
with total client satisfaction.

426
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,790
I sense that Molly

427
00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:46,543
wasn't quite meeting your needs.

428
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:50,880
Nothing like your old assistant.

429
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,550
Hunter, was that his name?

430
00:18:55,218 --> 00:18:59,556
I... I don't recall.
And yes, Molly is crap.

431
00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:01,891
Okay, you do not
have to do this.

432
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,436
Do what? Get into sales?
That's what I want.

433
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:08,648
He's been growing
that mustache for weeks.

434
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:10,275
Best he can do.

435
00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:12,360
So young.

436
00:19:14,738 --> 00:19:16,197
Will you...

437
00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:19,075
(Clicks tongue) You. Can
you turn around for me, please?

438
00:19:22,037 --> 00:19:24,205
Dwight, you can go. I
will call you in a week or so

439
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:26,166
and let you know whether
I want your business.

440
00:19:26,249 --> 00:19:27,250
Thank you. Very good.

441
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,589
Do you have a valid passport?

442
00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:35,800
(Phone rings)

443
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:37,927
Jim Halpert.

444
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,095
Hey, it's Colin.

445
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:41,806
Hey, man.
I am so sorry about that.

446
00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:43,767
No, don't worry about it.

447
00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:46,978
It's just,
it's not totally working.

448
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:50,940
Yeah, no, I know. This whole
telecommuting thing, not ideal.

449
00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:52,293
But don't worry,
I'll figure it out.

450
00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:55,945
Yeah, it's not just not ideal.
I mean, with you there,

451
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:57,906
I don't know how
we 're going to do this.

452
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,952
What does...
What does that mean?

453
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:06,289
Oscar, what is happening here?

454
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,958
Why would you say you think
the senator might be gay?

455
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:11,294
I don't know, Angela.
I'm dehydrated.

456
00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:14,506
Maybe you heard me wrong.
We should just go.

457
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:18,022
Look, look, here he comes! Here
he comes. He's coming, he's coming.

458
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,556
What is he doing? He's
making a phone call.

459
00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:26,935
(Cell phone buzzes)

460
00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:44,411
Hey, Molly.
You should just quit.

461
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:45,578
Yeah. Yeah.

462
00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:46,663
Thanks.

463
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:49,124
Oh, and Molly?

464
00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:53,586
I know it can't be easy working for
jan. Good luck with your feelings.

465
00:20:56,923 --> 00:21:00,093
Dwight! That was really nice.

466
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,345
You should ask for her number.

467
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:03,805
I got her number.

468
00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:06,224
Four-one-five-y-c-I.

469
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:07,976
That's a license number?

470
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,269
That's all you need.

471
00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:13,064
And when I have curried favor
with her, I will let you know.

472
00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:15,191
Why me?

473
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:18,236
Because you are my friend
and you are a woman.

474
00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:23,283
And women love gossip.
It's like air to you people.

475
00:21:23,366 --> 00:21:26,369
Ugh. God! (Mimics retching)