1
00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,672
To me, the sixers
are a five seed, tops.

2
00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:06,674
I think they're going to
the conference finals.

3
00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:10,595
Bynum, obvious monster,
three-point shooting, don't even...

4
00:00:11,971 --> 00:00:13,681
I bit my lip at lunch today.

5
00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:16,726
Sucks.

6
00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:19,145
Anyway, I just don't see it.
The Knicks are tough.

7
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:20,980
The nets are tough.

8
00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:22,732
Kevin: The nets are super tough.

9
00:00:22,815 --> 00:00:26,152
And now I have this big bump
on my lip that hurts!

10
00:00:26,986 --> 00:00:28,154
I hate it.

11
00:00:28,905 --> 00:00:31,073
The hawks are terrible.

12
00:00:31,157 --> 00:00:32,617
They're always terrible.

13
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:35,870
Okay, you need to think about
it before you come with the...

14
00:00:39,415 --> 00:00:41,542
Whatever. It's not a big deal.

15
00:00:41,626 --> 00:00:42,936
You know, I always
tell my three-year-old,

16
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,730
if this is the worst thing
that's going to happen...

17
00:00:44,754 --> 00:00:46,380
You got to be kidding me!

18
00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:50,468
Okay, Pam! That's it!
I'm going home!

19
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:05,191
Morning, Meredith!

20
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:06,984
What?

21
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,945
Sorry, Pam.

22
00:01:09,195 --> 00:01:10,196
Yikes.

23
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,200
Jim's been spending a
few days a week in Philly,

24
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:17,370
and I'm not going to lie,
it's been challenging.

25
00:01:19,956 --> 00:01:22,124
Yesterday, things took
a turn for the worse.

26
00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:24,252
I found out Cece has lice.

27
00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:26,045
So, I was up all night

28
00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:29,715
disinfecting every
sheet, towel, toy,

29
00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:32,635
item of clothing
in the entire house.

30
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,845
I'm exhausted.

31
00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:36,180
But don't tell Jim.

32
00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:38,766
He has a huge meeting today.

33
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:41,352
Under a lot of pressure,

34
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,771
and he's doing it
all for the family.

35
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:48,234
I am meeting Dr. J today,
otherwise known as Julius erving,

36
00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:51,570
famed 76er
and my own personal hero.

37
00:01:51,654 --> 00:01:53,864
But I have to be careful
not to rub it in Pam's face,

38
00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:55,616
because let's be honest.

39
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:58,202
How would I feel if I was
at home, stuck with the kids

40
00:01:58,286 --> 00:02:02,081
while she was go-karting
with John stamos?

41
00:02:02,707 --> 00:02:04,667
You sound tired.
Everything okay?

42
00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,585
Pam: Great!
E verythin g's great!

43
00:02:06,711 --> 00:02:08,713
Hey, are you nervous
about your big meeting?

44
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:12,174
Little bit. It's a lot
of pressure, you know?

45
00:02:12,258 --> 00:02:13,926
But that's what I
signed up for, right?

46
00:02:14,010 --> 00:02:15,803
Jim, the limo's here.

47
00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:20,641
You know what? I've got to
hop off, because my taxi is here

48
00:02:20,725 --> 00:02:21,976
to take me to the meeting.

49
00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:23,227
Call me later. Okay.

50
00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:24,312
Goodluck! Thanks

51
00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:25,896
I love you. Love you, too. Bye.

52
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,443
How you doing? I'm okay.

53
00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:31,819
I mean, it's what
you want, so...

54
00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:33,279
It's how it has to be.

55
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,197
I know, I know.

56
00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:36,782
It's just hard.

57
00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:39,076
Me and val were going nowhere,

58
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,828
and if I'm going to
be working in Philly,

59
00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:42,371
I'm going to need my freedom.

60
00:02:42,455 --> 00:02:44,665
So I convinced val
to break up with me.

61
00:02:44,749 --> 00:02:45,750
Here's how you do it.

62
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:48,544
You say, "what are you going
to do, break up with me?"

63
00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:49,837
Like, as a joke

64
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,839
and then you gain
a lot of weight.

65
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,550
I'll never be sorry.
Not for a moment of it.

66
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:55,843
Me neither.

67
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:02,141
Hey, Meredith, I need
your supply requests today.

68
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:05,019
Jesus h. In the morning, will
you stop your nagging already?

69
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:06,354
No wonder Jim left you.

70
00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:08,773
He didn't leave me.
He just went part-time.

71
00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:14,212
Can you just fill out
the form, please?

72
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:15,279
Yes.

73
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,533
I'm sure she's just confused.

74
00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:22,119
People scratch their heads
when they're confused.

75
00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:26,791
Not always like an ape, the way
Meredith just did, but it happens.

76
00:03:27,792 --> 00:03:28,959
Hurry up already.

77
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:30,544
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.

78
00:03:30,628 --> 00:03:34,215
Between the foster homes and
the orphanage, I had lice 22 times.

79
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:36,717
Holy wow, that's a big one.

80
00:03:36,801 --> 00:03:39,178
All right, pencils down,
everyone, we've got lice!

81
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:40,262
(All groan in disgust)

82
00:03:40,346 --> 00:03:44,308
God, Meredith! Lice? Did you
not sign a pledge to shower?

83
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,977
What? Lice?

84
00:03:47,645 --> 00:03:48,854
Oh, my god.

85
00:03:48,938 --> 00:03:51,232
Lock the doors,
we are on full quarantine!

86
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:54,985
Dwight, relax! It's just
lice. Maybe. Possibly.

87
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:57,154
Just lice, Pam?

88
00:03:57,780 --> 00:04:00,491
Of all the vermin in god's
great green kingdom,

89
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,910
lice are the ones
I detest the most.

90
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:06,747
My first day of school, I had lice
and no one would play with me.

91
00:04:06,831 --> 00:04:09,583
For 15 years,
they called me freak,

92
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:12,503
and four-eyes, and Sci-Fi
nerd and girl puncher,

93
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,005
all because I had
lice when I was seven.

94
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,591
Make way. No,
inspect me. Dwight!

95
00:04:20,678 --> 00:04:23,514
This is the cleanest scalp
I've ever seen. You are all clear.

96
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:26,016
I should be. I use lice
shampoo every morning.

97
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,352
Stop that! Hey!

98
00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:29,854
Dwight!

99
00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:31,355
Erin: Next.

100
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,816
Geez, Meredith!
This is an office,

101
00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,734
it's not one of
your beanbag orgies.

102
00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,194
Let's give her a break.

103
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:39,780
We don't know for sure
this is Meredith's fault.

104
00:04:39,864 --> 00:04:42,867
Pam, really? Come on.

105
00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:45,286
Well, what do you want?
I know who I am.

106
00:04:45,369 --> 00:04:46,704
Nobody's taking Meredith Palmer

107
00:04:46,871 --> 00:04:48,247
to the opera to meet the queen.

108
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,582
Lice! More lice.

109
00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:51,333
Angela has lice.

110
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,671
Ooh! Yabber. Lice!

111
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,298
Yikers, lice.

112
00:04:59,008 --> 00:05:01,135
How? I'm so clean.

113
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:03,012
Yeah, big time lice. Ah!

114
00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:06,390
I wash my hands at least six
times a day. Toilet seat covers?

115
00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:07,975
Yes, thank you, even when I pee.

116
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:10,269
Apparently none of that
is protection enough,

117
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,229
not when it comes to Meredith.

118
00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:16,525
All: Oh!

119
00:05:16,609 --> 00:05:18,152
Hey, what are you wearing?

120
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:21,572
It's a Hazmat suit. That stands
for hazardous materials...

121
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,492
Men's suit wearing.

122
00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:27,286
If you rent more than four times
a year, it just makes sense to buy.

123
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:30,581
Is there anyone else
here that is lice free?

124
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,835
Excellent! You have
your own Hazmat suits?

125
00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:36,253
No.

126
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:37,755
(Condescendingly) Renters.

127
00:05:37,922 --> 00:05:39,983
Okay, I'm going to need
you to gather your belongings,

128
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,009
retreat to the warehouse,

129
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,844
conduct your business there

130
00:05:43,928 --> 00:05:46,138
until the infected
have been de-loused.

131
00:05:46,222 --> 00:05:48,557
Let's get going. I'm going
to stay here and fight.

132
00:05:48,641 --> 00:05:50,935
If you don't hear from
me by lunch, call me.

133
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,436
I might want lunch.

134
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:54,647
All right, we're going
down to my warehouse.

135
00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:56,941
That means we're
playing by my rules.

136
00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:58,692
No messing with the baler.

137
00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:00,670
And be cool in front of me
and val, we just broke up.

138
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:01,695
(Gasps)

139
00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:02,863
You got dumped?

140
00:06:02,947 --> 00:06:04,281
Yeah, she ended things.

141
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,741
Nellie: Break-ups are the worst.

142
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,177
The only thing that
got me through mine

143
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,470
was large amounts
of Shepherd's pie

144
00:06:08,494 --> 00:06:11,330
and Brandy, the singer,
not the drink.

145
00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:15,834
Here, man. You need
that more than me.

146
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,419
Yeah. Thanks, man.

147
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:23,801
Guys, I think we should
all ease up on Meredith.

148
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,302
This has got to be hard for her.

149
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:28,597
No, no, no, no. I have
not yet begun to shame.

150
00:06:28,681 --> 00:06:31,058
That's it! I'm getting my
stuff. I'm leaving for the day.

151
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,309
No! Stanley!

152
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:34,037
If you leave now, then
you'll get it in your car

153
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,563
and then you'll
get it in your house!

154
00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:36,730
Get off me!

155
00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:38,357
I'm trying to save
you from yourself!

156
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,609
All right, I'll stay!

157
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:43,153
There's a pencil
poking into my rolls.

158
00:06:44,697 --> 00:06:46,240
Pam: Maybe it was Meredith.

159
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,909
Maybe she brought in lice
that are totally different

160
00:06:48,993 --> 00:06:51,287
than the lice
that I got from Cece.

161
00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:55,666
So, let's not jump to the simplest
conclusion that she got her lice from me!

162
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,960
That is how wars get started.

163
00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:01,839
Fine, I'll tell her it was me.

164
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:06,760
Oh, man! That's fresh squeezed!

165
00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:09,263
And are all
the snacks complimentary?

166
00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,640
Yeah. Take some home
if you want.

167
00:07:11,724 --> 00:07:13,684
No, that's okay. I'm...

168
00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:24,445
I'm sorry, is this
the conference center?

169
00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:27,823
No, Mr. Erving called, said he'd
rather meet you at his private court.

170
00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:31,368
You've got to be kidding me.

171
00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:37,142
Hey, Meredith, I need to tell you
some... yeah, Pam? What do you want?

172
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:39,209
Oh, my god! Meredith.
What are you doing?

173
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:41,062
Baking a cake. What
does it look like I'm doing?

174
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,755
Getting rid of the lice. Stop!

175
00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:43,881
I'm so sorry!

176
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,066
(Microwave beeping)
Can you hold that thought?

177
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,717
That's my wax. You know, I think

178
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,427
these critters
migrated from down south.

179
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:51,388
What were you saying?

180
00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:53,390
Nothing.

181
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:57,436
I'm going to tell her. But
now is clearly not the time.

182
00:07:57,519 --> 00:08:01,273
I will buy her a wig,
we'll have a few laughs.

183
00:08:01,357 --> 00:08:03,651
There's a right way to do this.

184
00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:10,449
Scalp leeches. Skull
vampires. Follicle gypsies.

185
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:11,992
Hair lawyers.

186
00:08:12,076 --> 00:08:14,453
One thing is clear,
it's kill or be killed!

187
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:18,415
No, no, no. It's more of a nuisance,
really. It's not that big a deal.

188
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,143
So, I've collected your
hats and your coats...

189
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,168
To be burned!

190
00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:22,336
To be washed.

191
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:23,837
What do we do aboutourheads?

192
00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:26,548
I'm not going to lie. Lye!

193
00:08:26,632 --> 00:08:28,801
No. All we need is mayonnaise.

194
00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:30,094
Excuse me?

195
00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:31,428
She's right, it works.

196
00:08:32,096 --> 00:08:33,389
I would imagine.

197
00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:36,016
Yes, it helps to suffocate
the little buddies.

198
00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:38,018
And it's a really
healthy alternative to

199
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,104
the chemicals found
in most lice shampoos.

200
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,522
I can appreciate that.

201
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:44,274
I also only eat local,
organic produce.

202
00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:47,653
Sha-boom!

203
00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:49,113
How you like me now?

204
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:50,531
(All exclaim)

205
00:08:50,823 --> 00:08:52,366
Take a picture,
it'll last longer.

206
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,910
We don't want it to
last longer. It's horrible.

207
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:56,537
Bald people make me sick.

208
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,872
Yeah, yeah, everybody
pile on Meredith.

209
00:08:58,956 --> 00:09:02,084
But I'm the only one with the
balls to show them lice who's boss.

210
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:05,546
Okay, nobody panic!

211
00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:07,297
If everybody just
follows my instructions,

212
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,133
then nobody else
needs to end up bald.

213
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:13,262
Not that it looks bad, Meredith!
It looks... it looks awesome!

214
00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:16,432
You look like a baby who
suddenly aged 50 years.

215
00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:18,100
A cute baby!

216
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,144
But something sucked
the life force out of it.

217
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,396
I'm so sorry. We need
mayonnaise. We need it now.

218
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:26,108
I'll go. It's not a big deal.

219
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,110
Please. No,
Meredith, can I get you

220
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,112
something special
while I'm at the store?

221
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:33,282
Candy, or one of
those stylish turbans?

222
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:36,660
Thanks, Pam. I'll take a pack of
nicorette gum and a pack of kools.

223
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:38,162
Okay.

224
00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:43,250
Let's talk pubes, people.

225
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:45,711
Hey, Darryl.

226
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:47,004
Hey, val.

227
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:53,886
That was tragic.

228
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:57,681
That was like a car crash,
I couldn't look away.

229
00:09:57,765 --> 00:10:00,350
You two still clearly have
feelings for each other.

230
00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:01,435
Yeah.

231
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,479
What's going to make
you feel better, big guy?

232
00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:06,774
When I was a kid, my grandmother
used to make me chocolate cake

233
00:10:06,857 --> 00:10:08,275
when I wasn't feeling good.

234
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:10,235
She's not around
to do that anymore.

235
00:10:10,319 --> 00:10:14,573
I'm sorry, I just need a moment
to myself to clear my head.

236
00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:19,661
Poor Darryl. I can't bear
to see him suffer like this.

237
00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:23,081
I think he needs some hugs

238
00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:25,209
and maybe some chocolate cake.

239
00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:29,379
This won't help him,
it's a muffin. Not cake.

240
00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:31,799
Listen, let's try to get Darryl
the one thing in the world

241
00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:34,301
he clearly wants
and needs the most.

242
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:35,803
An escalade.

243
00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:38,055
Or, what's-her-name?

244
00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:40,015
(Whispers) Val.

245
00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:41,892
Let's get Darryl val.

246
00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:44,996
I hope you don't mind me
bringing you out here.

247
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:46,730
I can't get my knees
under a desk.

248
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:49,316
Are you kidding me? I could
literally scalp tickets to this.

249
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:51,079
Well, you think you
can sink one from deep?

250
00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:54,279
Listen, I don't
mean to intimidate you,

251
00:10:54,363 --> 00:10:56,323
but I did play
a little high school ball.

252
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,616
Okay.

253
00:11:00,369 --> 00:11:01,370
Wow!

254
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,622
Halpert's got game!
(Cell phone ringing)

255
00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:04,957
All right. Sorry.

256
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:08,335
I'm so sorry, this is my
wife. Can I take this?

257
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:10,295
If it's your wife,
you better take it.

258
00:11:10,379 --> 00:11:11,421
Right?

259
00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:13,131
(Laughing)

260
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:16,134
Hey, what's up? Everything okay?

261
00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:17,761
Pam: Oh, no, everything's great!

262
00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:20,514
I was just calling to see
how the meeting went.

263
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,016
It's still happening
right now, actually. So...

264
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:25,143
He's really making
you work for it, huh?

265
00:11:25,227 --> 00:11:29,356
Yes, it is very stressful. Are
you sure everything's okay?

266
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:31,817
Great. I am killing it
over here.

267
00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:36,572
Jim, I've got to go. Okay, bye.

268
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,365
So sorry about that.

269
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,617
No problem. Hey, Jim,
what size do you wear, man?

270
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:43,495
I got a pair of Japanese
nikes with your name on them.

271
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,372
What do you think? I love it!

272
00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:49,225
Once it's all over your head,
just leave it there for four hours.

273
00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:52,337
That will be enough time
for the lice to fall asleep,

274
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:54,214
suffocate and then pass away.

275
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,091
Sure.

276
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:58,969
And when you're
ready to get serious,

277
00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:01,889
come to me to get it done right.

278
00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:04,182
Put those away
before you hurt yourself.

279
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:07,394
(Fabric tearing)

280
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:09,605
Oh, god! No.

281
00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:13,150
No! No!

282
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:16,945
No! No! No!

283
00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:20,449
No! No!

284
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:23,535
Okay, it's easier with a
buddy, so everybody pair up.

285
00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:26,246
Oscar, you want
to be my partner?

286
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:29,041
Yeah. Yeah, sure. Pdloveto.

287
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:34,087
Hey, Mayo buddy, $5 tip if
you unclog my ears. Okay?

288
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:39,092
Creed, I'm so sorry. I'm already
partners with Pete. Right, Pete?

289
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:42,930
Uh... yeah. We promised each
other if we ever got lice, we'd buddy up,

290
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,431
so, sorry, man.

291
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:50,020
Hey, creed. You
want to be my buddy?

292
00:12:50,479 --> 00:12:52,689
Oh, god. Stuck with the weirdo.

293
00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:54,566
(Sighs)

294
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,407
Angela! You don't
want bugs, you know?

295
00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:05,744
Who knows where
those bugs will end up?

296
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,872
You're getting a bargain.
I ain't got no hair no more.

297
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,459
Creed.

298
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,796
I'm all done. My turn.

299
00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:18,632
I'm sorry, Pam.
It looks a little messy.

300
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:20,676
Wait.

301
00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,430
How's that?

302
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:26,765
I feel it working.

303
00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:28,600
(Mimics sumo grunt)

304
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:30,978
(Mimics swish of pottery wheel)

305
00:13:31,061 --> 00:13:32,354
Eiffel Tower!

306
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:33,438
(Laughs)

307
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,567
Can I help you?

308
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:41,613
Well, we don't want to pry, but
we heard you broke up with Darryl.

309
00:13:41,697 --> 00:13:42,906
Yeah, that's true.

310
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:44,825
We think you made
a big, big mistake.

311
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:45,909
Big mistake.

312
00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:47,077
Quite enormous.

313
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,330
He's a real catch and
you should take him back.

314
00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:53,166
Okay, thank you. Isthatah?

315
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,502
No. No, that is not all!

316
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,796
Let me tell you
what real life is like.

317
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,173
The men dry up
and the nights get lonely.

318
00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:03,135
The only calls on your machine
are from collection agencies

319
00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:05,846
about that pair of motorcycle
boots you've never even worn.

320
00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:08,724
You stalk your old
high-school boyfriend online,

321
00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:11,476
go to his daughter's soccer
games and make a scene.

322
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,812
You buy a diamond ring
for yourself,

323
00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:17,232
wear it on your right hand and
tell yourself you're all you need.

324
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:22,612
One day you're alone, tired,
at your feet, a dying bird.

325
00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:25,449
Where did it come from?
Why did you kill it?

326
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:29,536
Is it because, in some
strange way, it is you?

327
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,872
Thank you all for your concern,

328
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,291
but I'm going to have to
ask you toleave, okay?

329
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:35,709
(Scoffs)

330
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,840
So does this mean you're
going to take Darryl back?

331
00:14:43,008 --> 00:14:47,137
Well, then, what would you say
to you and me hitting the town,

332
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:52,184
because I'm free
literally forever.

333
00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,186
Val: Yeah, Kevin asked me out.

334
00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:57,564
I was kind of feeling good
about re-entering the dating pool,

335
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:59,274
and then Kevin asked me out.

336
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:01,818
Thought I might trade up
to a new level of man.

337
00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:03,820
Then Kevin asked me out.

338
00:15:11,495 --> 00:15:12,496
(Phone rings)

339
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:17,000
Hello?

340
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:18,085
Hi, honey, it's mom.

341
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:21,713
Look, Cece's school just
called. She still has lice!

342
00:15:21,797 --> 00:15:23,590
What, no. That
can't... I don't...

343
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,926
Don't worry, don't worry,
I'm on my way to pick her up.

344
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:29,805
But you might have lice, too.
Lice can be tricky. Sometimes lice...

345
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,307
Oh, my god.

346
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,184
Shave her head!

347
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:37,187
Shave her head!

348
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,024
(All clamoring angrily)

349
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:42,984
You guys, I'm so sorry.

350
00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:45,070
It's just been so chaotic
with Jim gone that I...

351
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,822
Yeah, yeah.
Princess fancy pants,

352
00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:49,783
letting Jane twelve pack
over here take the fall.

353
00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:51,076
She's right, Pam.

354
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:53,453
Is there a volume knob
on that thing?

355
00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:55,705
Yes, there's a volume knob
on that thing!

356
00:15:57,541 --> 00:16:01,294
Meredith, I am so sorry.

357
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:04,422
Well, a lot of good your
sorries are doing her now, Pam.

358
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:06,091
She's a monster.

359
00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:10,387
I meant to say
something earlier, I just...

360
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,097
Just, just what?

361
00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:14,432
Just forgot?

362
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,978
Who's the one that didn't
bring lice into the office?

363
00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:19,646
Meredith.

364
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,439
Sure I gave everybody
pink eye once,

365
00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:23,316
and my ex keyed
a few of their cars.

366
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,736
And yeah, I bm'ed in the
shredder on new year's.

367
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:31,324
But I didn't bring the
lice in. That was all Pam.

368
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,910
Attention, people of the office.

369
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:38,081
You have exactly 60 seconds
to evacuate the bullpen.

370
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:39,374
At that time

371
00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:44,171
I will be tossing this
powerful insecticidal grenade,

372
00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:48,175
which contains piperonyl
butoxide, as well as...

373
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,343
(All gasp)

374
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:51,887
Dwight? Are you okay?

375
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:53,263
(Coughs)

376
00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:56,183
Whoa...

377
00:16:56,892 --> 00:16:58,935
That butoxide has a mild
hallucinogenic effect,

378
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,604
but I don't think
it's kicked in yet.

379
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,397
I'm going to count down from 10.

380
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:05,609
Nine, yellow,

381
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:10,280
cold, sad, purple...

382
00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:14,743
Wow. He got to purple.

383
00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:19,706
Sorry.

384
00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:24,336
You're waterboarding me!

385
00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:25,462
Oops.

386
00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:38,141
No, this is fine.
We're allowed to do this.

387
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:40,644
This is okay.

388
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:45,899
Okay, you're up!

389
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:48,401
Yeah, I'm actually kind
of sad to see this baby go.

390
00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:51,238
You do kind of look like Elvis.

391
00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,490
But we should probably
wash all the dead lice out.

392
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:00,872
Okay. Okay.

393
00:18:00,956 --> 00:18:01,998
Okay.

394
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:07,379
Is that too cold?

395
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:09,756
No, actually,
it feels kind of nice.

396
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:15,887
(Loud clanging)

397
00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:17,305
(Popping)

398
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,769
I wonder what
happened over there.

399
00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:24,854
I've been sitting
here the whole time.

400
00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:32,821
Huh? Okay.

401
00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:35,240
Let's give it a shot.
Let's make it work.

402
00:18:35,407 --> 00:18:37,659
Oh, no. I mean,
I want to, I just,

403
00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:40,680
I don't want to force you into doing
something you don't want to do.

404
00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:44,124
You're not. I believe in us.

405
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:50,880
I'm back together with val.

406
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:53,633
(Unenthusiastically) Yay.

407
00:18:58,221 --> 00:19:00,307
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

408
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:01,725
Had a pretty good day today.

409
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:02,809
(Coughs)

410
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:05,228
Not everything went
exactly according to plan.

411
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:11,109
But lice, ifyou're watching, I'm
ready for you anytime, anywhere.

412
00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:19,409
Hey, enn already take off?

413
00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:21,328
I guess so.

414
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:23,955
Okay.

415
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:28,835
And you're Kareem,
coming to help.

416
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,420
Okay, I'm Kareem.

417
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,398
That makes total sense.
I'm Kareem, you're Dr. J.

418
00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:33,882
Just sounds weird
to say out loud.

419
00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:35,633
And it went like this.

420
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,095
(Cell phone ringing)

421
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,722
And that's all. That's it.

422
00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:43,284
No one will believe this back home,
but that's okay. (Cell phone ringing)

423
00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:44,577
That's all right. Let me
show you how to do it.

424
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:45,977
Yeah, you show me how to do it.

425
00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:47,705
This is Jim Halpert,
leave a message.

426
00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:48,730
(Beeps)

427
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:50,899
Hey, honey. It's me,

428
00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:53,485
just trying to catch you
before going home.

429
00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:57,280
Well. Just give
me a call whenever.

430
00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,282
Hope your day got
better. Love you.

431
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,454
Hey. What are you
doing right now?

432
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:06,414
I'm just going to go home.

433
00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:09,125
My mom's been watching
the kids all day.

434
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,753
Let her stay another hour.
Let's go get a beer.

435
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:15,382
Really? A beer sounds
incredible right now.

436
00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:18,176
No duh. Let's go, you're buying.

437
00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:20,470
(Laughs)

438
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,390
Meredith, I am so
sorry about today.

439
00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:24,891
Forget about it.

440
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,684
I just did not realize how hard

441
00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:28,561
it was going to be without Jim.

442
00:20:29,521 --> 00:20:32,899
I mean, I really respect you for
being a single mom all these years.

443
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:34,818
It whipped my ass
in half a week.

444
00:20:35,819 --> 00:20:37,421
I have to say, there
are not a lot of people

445
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:38,905
who could pull
off a shaved head,

446
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,156
but you are rocking it.

447
00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:41,491
Right?

448
00:20:41,825 --> 00:20:44,220
I got the bartender's phone
number when you were in the John.

449
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:47,789
I'm going to take that freak to
bone-town before the night is over.

450
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:49,874
Get it, girl.

451
00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:53,294
(Upbeat music playing)

452
00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:58,007
This one is for all
you ladies out there!

453
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:02,011
Icomem notyet

454
00:21:04,556 --> 00:21:07,350
I come home in the morning light

455
00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:12,063
my mother says, "when you
going to live your life right?"

456
00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:15,567
Oh, mother dear,
we're not the fortunate ones

457
00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:19,195
and girls, they want to have fun

458
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:23,366
oh, girls just want to have fun